Kill James Bond! - The Reunion Pt. 1 | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S4 E17

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to break down PB&Js, Sting, criticism, Michael Shannon, robot dogs, Star Wars, Scooby-Doo, broken blood vessels, and so much more from Bravo’s Below Deck Sailing Yacht. Uncensored content and exclusive shows including Vanderpump Rules at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetwork

You want to talk about a low light of a show. Hey, how's everybody feel about us? Celebrities loving the show. Yeah. Has anybody reached out to you? And Dave's like, I can't get into that. It's way too private. But Christina Aguilera and Chrissy Teigen definitely reached out.

No, no, no. It wasn't Christina Aguilera. I said, oh, Chrissy Teigen. No, no. Oh, Christina Applegate. Yeah, Christina Applegate. Yeah, she's a big fan. Who gives a shit?

And also to celebrities, do not reach out to these people. You embolden them, and sea to another Whoa, What Happened There? What are you talking about? I don't know. It sounded weird in my cans. Well, you were talking louder in the last podcast, so I think he turned you down a little bit. I turned you down a bit. Let's not fight at the onset or offset. Onset.

Okay, so it's the reunion. You know how we feel about the reunions. Right. I know how Andy feels about the reunions. Of course. He despises the cast of his most popular franchise. You know, they have five versions of this goddamn thing. Yeah.

How about letting them sit down next to you? Have any respect for these people? This is how you pay for your four fucking nannies, dude. Okay. This is going to be a quick one you can't possibly expect us to below deck down under was fun that was a lot of fun but this

this I love how you got to have two parts because I guess we all want to know about the thruple and where Colin stands clearly Gary and Daisy were in Spain two days away from getting back on Parsipal to shoot season five of sailing. And Colin's in the middle of the ocean on a catamaran somewhere. Yep.

And oh, my goodness gracious, right? The tragedy of this, that we lose Seadog out of this throuple. I really think the throuple is the worst thing to happen to below deck sailing yacht maybe since like... Marcos didn't come back? No, like I was going to say like... Since a fired pageant in uh yeah i was gonna no no no what i was gonna georgia what's her name the worst thing to happen in the show since georgia's

kept singing that same song every time you know that song sucked it didn't suck but it's like i've heard it 17 times that georgia you have to you have to put the guitar down or you have to sing a different song. Do a cover. I want to say this at the top of this episode. I want to say this. Thanks for listening. Yeah, absolutely. We'll try and entertain you.

We'll do our best. But you know what's going to entertain you or what has been entertaining you? The fact that Dylan and I have dropped this week a Down Under recap. An episode with Lucy slash Lucky Edmonds. Hey, that Down Under episode, so fun. Oh, you're going to love that. You're going to love that. This, not so much. Our episode with Lucy

slash Lucky Edmonds, if I compare an interview, and look, I don't want to call myself Andy Cohen, but I did a way better job than him. You listen to that Lucy interview that Dylan and I did. You will get way more juice, way more fun stories, way more dirt with that review

than you got from this fucking dumb part one of this reunion. Secondly, Dylan and I, as we're working very hard. Will you take a breath, please? You need to cool it a little bit all right you're probably right i am just so excited about the content we're throwing out there dylan and i don't like when bravo throws us some bullshit that we're supposed to fucking make hay out of when it's nearly impossible to make a recap of this no nothing dumb reunion From Reunion. Okay, listen. Listen. Go with your second point.

We interviewed Grant and Todd from the final charter of season four. And now it's mugging in here. Can I turn the air conditioning back on? Yeah, go ahead. Let me keep talking. Those guys are wonderful. And they talk about what a piece of shit Randy is, how the thruple knows each other

they didn't want to say that that thruple is not still together they didn't want to go on record saying that but you could definitely glean that from our conversation with them way more entertaining than andy cohen's bullshit part one of season four reunion of all the sea rats on parsable how dare you bravo how dare you you make Dylan and I have to make this entertaining? I'm done now, Dylan. How many pots? Zero. Oh, really?

I thought that there was some... I don't know. We got a couple shekels from this one. You know what I mean? All right. There was only one. And by the way, Bravo, I hope you know this. We will get Chase back on this show.

And I love how you, an unprofessional piece of shit that you are, we find out that Chase and Alicia have been hooking up and flying to each other's countries. And then once they say that, and you said, did it work out? And they say, no, you just move on. Do you know how unprofessional that is? That's a bomb. That's a bomb. And Dylan and I would have spent 20 minutes talking to Chase and Alicia about that. And now we'll get Chase on. I'll get an interview with him next

week. What is going on with you, man? Am I a little hot? Let me talk to him because I think he's a little more even keeled. Is my demeanor a little too hot right now? like it you're fired up all right they don't passionate man you're passionate dylan you know what that reminded me of

what you know when old joe mccarthy was throwing people in prison for being quote-unquote fucking communist yeah yeah and he was having uh you know questions about whether or not he was on the right path at night so he called up his gay lover roy cone it was like hey are we doing the right thing you called up a yes man that's what he just did i don't fair enough i've talked if you talk anymore we got a couple of fun moments tonight you know a day daisy i've had it with i think i think we're going to find out Fun moments tonight. You know, a day Daisy.

I've had it with. I think I think we're going to find out in the second part of their union that Daisy and Gary flanked Colin in a disgusting kind of thing. Oh, interesting because you can see obviously that Gary and Colin are at odds at odds i mean the shots they take at each other tonight i loved that gary got the shit beat out of him i love the days he got the shit beat out of her a little bit though that went overboard a little bit too much andy needed to take his foot which is covered in a beautiful prada kind of leather i I'm assuming, off of Daisy's head. I mean, my God, Andy.

The first 30 minutes was hammering Daisy. Just hammering Daisy. And it was fun to see Andy ask questions about things that he does not care about, but it was the first part of the reunion. And this is the difficulty we have. We think, I think i can speak for us both the show this season is deserving of a two-part reunion but in order to make the pb and j

what yeah yeah so it's bad so yummy you need k chestane that's it you just need k so So get rid of Andy. Let Kate come in and be the host. Yep. And put it in the contract. We need you sea rats to not be in fucking Tonga on this date. I know it's tough, but we'll pay you the $2,000 you were going to make that month to be here. So four pots. Okay. Kalen? Not great, we enter four pots. Okay.

Kalen. Not great, but I did agree. I thought there were some tidbits in it. Nine pots. There were some yummy little tidbits. I think Kalen's got the right score. Yeah.

Nine. Okay. So, we introduced the cast and we, with the zoom curtain poles. And we do that thing wherey asks where the sea rats are

and then says that he's jealous that he's not there total modus operandi like that's it's a standard operating procedure from andy to uh to kick off these reunions and the reason that andy is so easily kind of slippable into that that kind, I can't talk tonight, is because he would rather be at a bed, bath, and beyond. He'd rather be anywhere else than here. You tell him you're at an atoll in French Polynesia, or you tell him you're at a bathroom at a truck stop and there is fucking shit on the walls, he will rather be at either one of those two places. Absolutely. Because this is just work. So first things first, he asks Glenn, is Parsifal up and running?

Good to go. Good to go. Good to go. Just like last season. Good to go. Much to the chagrin and perhaps, I don't know, lives of the people that come on the boat next. Andy, it was just one of those things.

You couldn't foresee it. Yeah, sure, Glenn. We meet Charlie, who was a cute addition to the... The back of Chase. Yeah, to the reunion, though I do worry about the blood flow, the bottom half of that wiener dog. And we asked Alex about the tantric sex and how that's going, and I stand by my opinion on the last episode.

I think that's just the greediest fucking thing. Why do men need to figure out how to fucking kegel their comeback inside of them? I mean, it's just ridiculous. Well, Sting's been doing it for years, and everybody wants to be like Sting. He's skinny. You cannot replace the word I with everybody. It's just ridiculous. You can't do that.

Everybody wants to be like Sting. He's skinny. And he's been doing it for years. All right. So I have the word water bottle written down. Oh, yeah. Well, Alex, while he's still reading books about tantric sex, he's no longer using Glenn's forehead as a drink holder.

That's nice of him. Me and Cees were laughing so hard at that. Just like in the middle of the night, just... Hey! What's going on, dude. Are you thirsty? All right, so chase had bad riz with the girls. We joke about him having bad riz with the girls, and that's a that's zoomer for a game. You know what you remember when I told you the other day about how I went to the Dodger game and they cut to a fan cam of a bunch of teenagers and they started

gargling cock and everybody in the stadium was like, my God, like 11 miming deep throating a car. Yeah. These, I mean, these zoomers are filthy animals. They are. Sexual deviants. Watching fucking Euphoria. Shooting gas station dick pills in their toes and stuff.

I mean, God knows what these kids are doing. Oh, yes. Want to get to the first boring question? Yeah, let's get to the first boring question. Here's the first boring question of Andy who doesn't give a shit about this show. Alex, how was Glenn as a roommate? Yeah. And that's what he said. I won't use his forehead as a drink.

All right. So Mads gives all the women out there a little advice on how to take sexy Instagram pictures. Just be confident. Thank you, Giselle. Put a lid on the blender someone says to asia or to uh alicia hey why don't you get the fuck out of here the fuck are you talking about hey did you figure out that you need to put a lid on the blend hey what the fuck my god yeah by this point in the reunion i was like i'm having a great time yeah so

three minutes in you know what's it's so funny you see um in the smart list documentary in hbo the fans of a certain property feel as though they have an ownership over the relationship and people write rude things like hey alicia did you find out that you need to put a cap on top of the blender and it's like excuse me excuse me excuse me you do not know this person it's so rude and she's so talented I hope she comes back Andy

loved seeing Bob blacked out body still a drunk loves to drink out let's not get into that okay because one of the low lights of our season Still a drunk. Loves to drink alcohol. Let's not get into that. Okay? Because one of the lowlights of our season was putting out a social clip about how Bonnie was a drunk

and having her comment, you guys know me. That made me sad. All right, so we call Colin the MVP of the season. We talked about how fucking Chrissy Teigen fucking bakes shit and watches the show you want to talk about a low light of a show hey how's everybody feel about us celebrities loving the show yeah has anybody reached out to you and days like i can't get into that it's way

too private but christine aguilera and chrissy tegan definitely reached out no no it wasn't christina aguilera i said oh chrissy tegan no no we oh uh christina applegate yeah christina yeah she's a big fan who gives a shit and also to celebrities do not reach out to these people you you you embolden them and sea rats should not be emboldened. It it doesn't hasten the revelation that they need to arrive at so fast. All right, so

I do love how Daisy's all coy. She's like, no, I'm not going to say anybody's name is Christina Applegate. No, I couldn't possibly say have you seen anchor man all right so we get to the segment which took uh most of the episode next and that is andy cohen going to fucking war with daisy uh daisy balks at criticism and he says how do you want criticism she says positive first negative second um and then says that and i don't know if you

caught this and i thought my ears my mind and my eyeballs were playing tricks on me she says the criticism of her behavior with the guests is a relative irrelevant and personal but i think she says the word arelative and Andy Cohen is like, I'm baked out of my mind. Did you mean to say irrelevant? And she's like, yeah, it's fucking bullshit. He's like, he's this angry little midget telling me what to do. I can't stand

the guy. I have a theory, you know, because you mentioned I shouldn't say the M word. I apologize. You mentioned Andy would rather be in a bathroom at a Bed Bath & beyond than be hosting this thing. I have a theory. Wouldn't it be funny if he didn't actually even watch the show? And then he just reads the questions off the cue card.

I think that's what we have. So Glenn says, Daisy's amazing. And she needed a little criticism here and there. But I would work with her every season. And Andy says, Really? Sounds to me like she's a bitch who can't take criticism. And Daisy's like, Whoa.

And he's like, No, no, no, no. Whoa. Let's talk about you. Andy says, What about Andy's just laying into her? He's like, What about that guy bleeding?

Daisy? I love this. You don't care about the show. No, you don't care. Why are you going so hard on this person? Maybe she asked for like a higher pay or something. Daisy. Oh, yeah. He's got to punch her down. Yeah.

He says, hey, how about that? 15 minutes where the guy bled out and Daisy defense is she turned down a radio. Maybe. Yeah. It says, yeah, I know. But they did a full-on experiment of, like, testing the radio frequency, and you're a liar. Still sick of that story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Daisy's like, wow, full-court press, huh? All right, so Glenn is aware of what Gary doesn't do daisy's way out of this is to put the heat on gary and that's going to work out just fine because gary has no idea what's going on he is a drunk and he doesn't watch the show so he is next to no memory of what happened um but i love when gary gets. You can see him start to fume like who is the guy who played

Zod Michael Shannon. Yes, he has a Michael Shannon angry face to him. He's like he just really gets heated up like I hope there is no animal around him right now because he will lash out. All right, so we argue a bit over uh stew's going to beach setup this

this is like this is reunion part one kind of shit uh god or how about just the first 15 minutes of a single fucking goddamn reunion gary jumps in to tell glenn uh that uh guys don't serve on the beach you know because you got women around you know yeah yeah we don't serve on the beach because you got women around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't need to do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's a difference between the sexes. And Daisy jumps on him, deservedly so. What are you talking about, you fucking idiot?

Why don't you go suck down another cigarette? Hey, Daisy goes, hey, can we take a cig break for Gary? Got really nasty. Oh, yeah, then she announces uh on their next charter which will start filming in two days from the filming of this reunion she's not going to help out with exterior moving forward we'll see how that works out all right so gary says that he wouldn't change anything about the show again this is the amnesia of a drunk who does not watch the reality show that he is on

and daisy begins laughing um at him now this is the source of gary's longevity he moves forward like teflon don peripherally aware of how horrible he is but it's far enough away that he can just proceed forward into 34 35 36 37 38 smoking getting redder, drinking, and hitting on the same aged women. Yes, yes, yes. Until he... Well, Bravo calls him. Tells him you can't be on the boat anymore. And that's when the crash test dummy kind of you know,

here is the wall of life. You are now meeting it. And I hope it's as pathetic as Lee's firing. You know, he did an interview this week where he's like, I can't believe they fired me. I still can't believe it. You couldn't see it? I've been watching you. I knew it was coming.

Yeah. I'm surprised you haven't taken credit for it. I have, actually. Because they listened to this show. Lee, I want you to know I was completely responsible for it. You deserved it, you fucking prick. He totally did. It was time to go.

Such a jerk. You believe he talked to young people that way? How about a little positive reinforcement, jackass? What happens next? Oh yeah uh then andy like this is like the triple uh the third like wave of gunfire on daisy right starts getting into the um i think the tip meeting thing and how colin reacted to it and uh yeah yeah by the way it's it's actually was this moment a relative

daisy. All right, so that's when we get to really the biggest juice of the episode. I'm going to just move forward a little bit. We got to get through this. We saw chase caring for Alicia's thumb in her package. And it's that kind of moment that makes me just ship them so hard.

And I'm happy to know that they at least gave it a shot. I love it. Because I think they're so great for one another. They're both golden doodles. They're both golden doodles. Unfortunately, they live on disparate parts. Oh, the opposite parts of the planet.

Oh, the opposite side of the planet Earth, man. But here's what's going to happen. This is what happens with these romances on reality TV. You make a fleshlight and a dildo out of your... No, no, no. That's the future, though. But it will be in virtual reality. You'll get to fuck each other living on other sides of the world.

But that's like 20 years away. No, no, no. They're going to get married and have children. And then they're 20 years away no no they're gonna get married and have children and then they're gonna be 60 and they're gonna reflect on the time of their lives what was the best moment in their life and it was being on a little tv show on bravo yeah and then they'll find each other and in the future it allows you to live to be 150 oh you're talking about san junipero right something like that yeah yeah yeah yeah but uh they'll fuck each other in a simulated reality. Right, right, right.

But also, when you haven't seen this episode, there will be robot dogs that will pursue you with extreme prejudice, and you cannot kill them. So who knows if you ever make it to the love of your life, because those robot dogs have, I don't know, instrumentation that you can't even conceive of. Lasers. Fucking lasers. I like to keep it

a little more positive. Oh, do you? I think Chase and Alicia will be together again. I love them. I think the world loves them. But by the way, so did you are we getting into that part where we find out that they flew around? Yeah. No follow up questions. What do you mean are we getting

into that part? I just want to make sure. The reunions are all over the place. They have zero structure. I want to know why there was no fucking follow-up question. Did you guys fuck? That would have been a question I would have asked in a much more professional, polite manner. Okay, you be Andy.

I'll be Alicia. Kalen, you be Alicia. I'll be Chase. So you guys you be Alicia. I'll be Chase. So you guys, did you become more than a friendship as you were traveling around from being in different continents? We're friends. I would say we're friends. Would you say that you were

more than a friend? I apologize for having to ask, but did you consummate the relationship? We met up with each other. I'm not playing this game with either of you. Did you guys fuck or not? See, that's not professional. You can't even air that question.

See, I think you're not giving Andy enough credit, man. You got to have a lot of tact when you're asking these C-Rats these questions. Hey, Barnacles, we're getting Chase on the show next week. We'll find out. Are we? Yeah, I'm going to ask him to be on the show. It would be better than this goddamn reunion he could be on top of a goddamn glacier in the middle of nowhere we never know so let's see but it'd be fun to talk to chase so um speaking

of chase we get to his pivot moment in the season and this is is where Andy comes closest to hosting the show the way Pat would. We talk about the night out. I want to do shots out of your babies. And Andy says, You seem to be hypnotized by large breasts. Now, this is fine. But none of the sea rats mentioned that Lucky Lucy Edmonds has large breasts. Andy Cohen just goes ahead and throws out that inconvenient fact that Lucky Lucy has large breasts. I just thought it was strange coming from the mouth of Andy Cohen, apropos of nothing really.

I felt as though that was not needed. And Captain Glenn, of course, has to jump on and go, yeah, Chase, what's wrong with you? By the way, don't get me into Captain Glenn. Look, I don't want to accuse people of being listeners and stealing my material, although it's been

done many times on Galley Talk or Watch What Happens. Fucking Captainenn referred to parsifal three as the millennium falcon uh i'll i don't know if sarah the archive archivist still works for us i mentioned parsifal is a millennium falcon maybe that's a hacky comparison on two separate episodes this season and uh captain glenn had no issue with saying that parsifal is the millennium falcon of the yachting world. No, I know.

You fucking joke stealer. Imagine the blatant thievery of that. Disgusting. You know, I don't think I'll ever watch another Star Wars thing as long as I live. Me either. It's all a piece of shit. Did you see Andor? Kit, do not speak to me.

Caden's a big fan. Loved it. Yeah, well, but it's like, you know what I mean? I've had enough Star Wars. It's ridiculous. Where's Darth Vader? What do you mean? Well, I miss Darth Vader.

He was in a new thing recently. Oh, I hated that. Well, that's where Darth Vader is. He's in that new thing recently. Oh, I hated that. Well, that's where Darth Vader is. He's in that thing you hate. All right, so we get to work ethics. After Gary takes a shot at Colin, he goes, Colin gets his fucking nose in everybody's business, so of course he made this worse.

It's the only true thing that Gary said, though. It's not true. Colin is in everybody's business. We miss him being that role of a gossipy little bitch. But I don't think this was a defensive, sloppy jab that he took. He did not need to attack Colin here. He's weakened by the loss of their friendship. He's a nasty prick, Gary, right now.

Now, was this prompted by Colin being annoyed weakened by the loss of their friendship. He's a nasty prick, Gary, right now. Now, was this prompted by Gary being, I'm sorry, Colin being annoyed when Gary jumped into the engine room, which is Colin's domain. Yeah. And then Gary says, well, the fucking engine room was on fire. Yeah.

And he says, well, I was addressing the fire, Gary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scooby and Shaggy arguing with one another. Mm-hmm. Because you know how those two, I mean, they just bickered. Oh, yeah. Constantly. They just got high and bickered all right so alex learned more from chase than from gary nice shot alex

yep but seriously just come that's it. Just come. You don't need to fucking muscularly invent levies in your urethra that will prevent you from, you know. Break a goddamn blood vessel. It's just ridiculous. Break a goddamn blood vessel. Yeah. You have like purple veins or something.

And it's that kind of thing where like you really have to not care about the person that you're trying that out on live for the first time you know because you you can practice all you want in your incense filled room but when you actually enter another human and you start screaming and bleeding, you know, that's like so uncomfortable, but that's what we call a selfish lover.

Dylan. Yeah. Why are you crying? It's like I broke a blood vessel. All right. So, um, the,

I don't even know where we are. Yeah. We're at the end of the episode and we apologize to everybody we love i don't apologize at all i set up expectation i said this is gonna suck all right the next part uh we have a lot of trouble as gary uh doesn't know what he did this is the worst part of the reunion because we get to Mads and Gary. She's got to come to my room every night and try to sex with me.

Yeah, there's this... The focus of this segment is like, who was more into the other one? And there are no questions about hierarchical pressures on Mads or if Mads was seeing Shutter Island like nightmares that convinced her to go back to Gary like there was nothing about how toxic their relationship was.

Gary was just like, sorry, Mads, but you went into my bedroom, dude. I seem to remember that and they gave us one shot. Yeah, of her crawling up in his book and no shots of Gary like speaking Spanish to her about what they were guys will be back next week for reunion part two. I fear that it will be just a buffet

of bullshit about Colin and Daisy and Gary and we'll have a couple of truths come out, but I hope that it's good. I hope that I don't know. It was such a good season i hope we end on a good note all right so this is what i'm going to do for the audience i'm going to get chase back on here dylan and i will get chase on here and he will give us the real deal and not this bullshit and maybe we'll we'll we'll talk to some other people i think we really need to talk

to mads is who we need to talk to yeah i, I don't think she'd come on, but I think Chase with that dog that's probably dead in the back of that backpack. What the fuck, man? God damn it. Get in the iTunes ratings reviews. The five stars kind words. Join us on Patreon, Vanderpump Rules, APS, PMC uncensored content, lots of

stuff, YouTube, socials everywhere. I am Dylan saying goodbye. Cailin, say goodbye. Later, Pat. Later, dudes. stuff youtube socials everywhere i am dylan saying goodbye caitlin say goodbye later pat later dudes No