Another Below Deck Podcast - The Secret Traitor | Traitors S4 E1

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Patty, Dylan and Ruby are back to break down charming snakes, hinges, GTA, secrets, murder, dumb clues, fire and more from Peacock's The Traitors.PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Okay, so we'll get to the first challenge right now. We have boats, we have coffins, and we have three leaders. Rob, Colton, and Steven from... Also called T-Gas. Time to get a snack. What? Oh, the mission. Bummer.

I was going to go to you and go, what? And then you said the question I was going to ask you. Teagas. Time to get a snack. These missions suck. You can call them filler if you want. But that's just one word, F. So much fun to call it T-GAS.

Okay, thank you for the breakdown pot. Hi, alone, welcome to a very exciting, dare I say, seminal moment of 2026, the premiere episode of Peacock's and also Peacock, figure it out. You know what they do? They have on the homepage the Traders podcast show, but not Traders.

Anyways, it's the first episode of Traders, our favorite show. Welcome to Bad TV. I'm Dylan. That's Pat. Great to be here. And Ruby. Hi, Dil. Hi, Pat.

How are you? She's fresh off a halal cart, not too spicy. Kalan is joining us as well. How are you, buddy? I'm doing great. So, season four is upon us. We have the Great Alan coming, apostrophe, or no, parentheses S, joining us once again.

Now we broke down Traders Australia at patreon.com slash another podcast network. And while we love being in the Traders universe, right? Traders Australia just does not have the same pomp and circumstance as this version of the show. Alan Cumming brings his own, you know, want to talk about Peacock energy to the show. But I think the thing that separates this iteration is what we saw on display. tonight. Innovation. Just

granular little rule changes. The stakes in the competitions, right? We're not just glazed over watching people operate kind of loony tunes, train track carts and throwing balls at zombies or whatever they are.

You know, there are actual stakes to this, but we have an all-new cast and we're just very, very excited. We're going to be doing three weeks of this show. on the free feed. And then after that, the remainder of the show will be at patreon.com slash another podcast network. So get ready.

Head over there. Donate a little or a little bit more. There's a lot of stuff on this feed. So there's going to be multiple episodes of traders. You're going to see below deck on this feed and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Oh my God. Oh my God.

So listen, I posed to you two. Before we get into our shoulder taps, I want to highlight, because there's way too many traitors and faithfuls to go through off the rip. Who are some people that were excited to see on this show? First off, I want to ask you guys, so we're just going to discuss this episode and we should not touch on anything.

No, no, because if there's anything that's gotten me in the most trouble with our beloved fan base, it's spoiling traders. And I agree. I completely agree with them. I mean, I've named episodes like goodbye ex person. Yeah, it's like crazy. People get mad at you for that. Well, they should get mad at me.

So, but I'm saying in our discussions now, before someone, we find out someone is a trader on this episode, can we say that they are? No, no, no. We speak about this episode as though we have not seen the next two. Oh, but I'm saying specifically say someone's a traitor that we like, can we acknowledge them as a traitor before we find them chronologically, 10 minutes. from now. Yes, okay. Yes, of course. But we cannot talk about the secret trader. Fair enough. Fair enough. Whether we've seen them or not. By the way, I want to say this, and I want to say this loud and clear, because I understand that people, I have a trader's casting agent currently following me on Instagram. I'm considering it, but that's not what I'm going to talk about.

You guys took my idea about having a trader be hidden from the audience. That's an idea that I came up with last season. That's my idea. And you put a spin on it, which I'm going to, I'm going to say that you did, you took a, you took a little bit for my idea.

Pat sends a lot of SNL sketch packages. No, I want $5,000. Right, right, right. Because I'll give you a break on the price. But that was my idea and I love it. That's a $50,000 idea. Fine, 20K.

I'm still getting a deal. What? Okay. Yeah. So I'll let your sparring and, uh, Brian, my agent will negotiate it. But you guys, you're going to get a letter. Okay. It's important to remember that Brian should only correspond over the phone and letters, not in person and not over Zoom's, because he is mangled and burned. So, Robs, let's talk about some people that you are excited to see on this season of

the traders. Okay. So what happened there was there's a little bit of a delay, but also Ruby took a sizable pause there. So what happened was there was a giant pause. That turns into an actual giant pause. And what's happening is she's processing right now, the lamb and the chicken and the white sauce. And so it's just taking her a little bit of time. Go ahead. It's burning.

I will say this. I think that Lisa Rina as a trader was brilliant. I think pairing her, as we've seen in this episode, only in this episode, with loudmouth rat Candace and this man who I do not know from Love Island. Rob and Brina, I think, may align. And I cannot wait for that to happen. So that's what I feel. I also am very excited to see Colton Underwood.

I think that he is newly settled into his sexuality. And I'm not being sarcastic in any way. I think he's fucking funny and I think that he might be fun to watch and very astute and I'm excited about that and I will leave my my people there. I think those are good people, Pat. Pat is, dare I say, repulsed. First off, not at Ruby's picks here, but I'm just, I don't know how, because I'm struggling to find out who I would have been excited about because I have no fucking clue who 90% of

these people are coming into this. I touched on this on another podcast. They are really straining and stretching who exactly is a quote-unquote celebrity. Patrick, they always have. None of the people who have been on this show have ever been celebrities. I mean, the two skater people, they haven't been relevant since like there was an earthquake in Los Angeles. Johnny wears on every Winter Olympics broadcast.

No one watches the Winter Olympics. Well, and also, but he also commentates on all of the kind of national, regional ice skating competitions that I think air on USA or C-SPAN or something like that. They have a dude that was famous for being on a show called One Tree Hill. Just for context, most of America was still on dial-up. Would you please? When that show was fucking popular. Okay.

By the way, no, no, no. Time out. Time out. Do not speak for 30 seconds. Ruby, go ahead. Stephen Colletti is from Laguna Beach. Unbelievable. Long before.

It's like, I thank you for defending me, Dylan. And I've had this is not coming at you because I know that this is probably Send it at him. Okay, whatever. One Tree Hill also, new thought. So, so, so, so new thought. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like what you're saying is like so unbelievably fun.

Like, have you ever heard of Chad McOmerry ever in your life? Because if you have, you're welcome. One tree hills. That was from one tree hill saying, you're welcome. Um, that show was not, it was not on dial up. It was when the OC was happening, but it was in North Carolina. You fuck. It wasn't slubby Orange County.

It was slutty East Coast. in trees with seasons. Yeah. Amazing show. The leaves turned. Gavin de Groff theme song, Patrick. My God. Oh, another one.

Hey, Ruby. Well, to be fair, the timeout is up. Yeah. Hey, Ruby, I talked to a casting agent that cast him. They wanted to put his current occupation, which was barista, but they thought putting one tree hill would make him look sad. You know, speaking of Stephen Coletti, I'd like for us to pay a little bit of attention to the way that Pat's cuff of his zip-up jacket is.

He's got his cuff over his thumb, kind of like that, kind of like Stephen Coletti would when he's breaking up with Kristen or saying, I'm going to miss you, but I've got to go to college in Santa Barbara or something like that. By the way, another note on casting. There are, again, several people I have no clue who they are. And I was thinking, like, that girl that gave her liver to Selena Gomez, was she too busy to show up here?

Because that's how low the fucking bar was. Pat, for a minute, I was like, oh my God, which one of them was that? I was like, that's great. I didn't. And then you, that was the joke. I would think that actually that girl would be a great get for this show because someone who was on Big Brother isn't a celebrity. You know, it's like a housewife. Half the fucking people don't watch these shows.

Right. But then that's why we're here. Okay. Mark from Dancing from the Stars. Hello, bottom of the barrel. Can you hear that sound? Hey, it's scraping. I think the horse is dead.

And while Kaelin's laughing, I think we get the point. So I literally texted this. I mean, what, seven hours ago? Can you think of two people you're excited about? Now that I've got on a fucking diet drive for seven minutes about how these people are fucking losers. We got 45 minutes to kill here, dude. Okay. Fine.

Here are my people. And I'm just getting to know them. I was shocked by Rob from Love Island. I love that dude. He's playing the type of gameplay I'd play. I love Tiffany. I'll explain. I love Tiffany.

Wait, Pat, earnest question. Is he a good guy or an asshole? No, he's an asshole, but you just like his gameplay. I love his gameplay. And I'll explain. Tiffany,

I love Tiffany. And I also love Kristen. I have a little crush on her from Top Chef. This is how you win traders. You are a fucking fly on the wall. You are a good, if you can be, be a generally good person.

Do not make waves. You must listen all the fucking time and never, ever be loyal to anyone, but you keep that to yourself. There is no such thing as being loyal. Right. And that's how you win this game. I am excited for the, what was that comic book store that the nerdist had for a while? It began with an M. It was like, anyways, Ron Funches is from that era. of comedy. Did you do a podcast with him about soccer?

No, but no, that was Ian Edwards. But I remember we, Caitlin and I met Ron Funches many times at the Carolla show. And he was always so sweet. And one of my favorite moments of Ron was when he was on the show. And he said to Adam Carolla, oh my God, you are racist. So I'm super excited to see Ron on the show.

I'm super excited to see Michael Rapparple. Port, who is the Tom Sand of all of this season. I mean, he's just so bad at this game. I can't believe how bad he is. He's so annoying and so bad. But. And running for New York City mayor. Okay. That's happening four years from now. Take it easy. I don't know if he's going to live that long. Okay. So the other person that I'm excited, I mean, we always like to see somebody that we're rooting against. And the person that I'm rooting against more than anyone is Mama Kelsey. Mama Kelsey's Woe is me

I'm just a small town Puppy Chow Baker here to you know I'm so intimidated by all of you celebrities miss me with the bullshit okay

you've met the fucking Obama's you met everybody in this country because your family is a lot like apple pie it's lovely it's very American and I don't want 50 fucking slices of it

every fucking day of my life okay So I am rooting for Mama Kelsey to be summarily executed quickly. It's going to be a great season of this show. And we should get into our shoulder taps right now. Okay, okay. Ruby should go for us. We've been talking too much.

Robs, go ahead. Okay. I think that this season is going to be really good because the gamers, although I don't know anybody from Big Brother can't name them, never seen them, those people play very differently than the survivor people. Rubes, do you know anything about and. Sorry to cut you off, but do you know anything about the gameplay of Big Brother? Like, are they just like roommates?

Because all I've seen of Big Brother is like Mickey Rourick calling Jojo Zewa lesbian or something. I don't even know what the show is. I don't have anything to clarify for you, unfortunately. I don't either. All right. Sorry. Go ahead, Roob, shoulder tops. I think that you get to see these strategies come out with the Big Brother people trying to just be friendly.

And people like Natalie being like, we need to align. with this boat immediately. And it's just, I like when we have a mix-up. And then you have people like Lisa Rina, who's like, oh my God, I haven't thought about a shield at all

since you said that, which I just, I think there's so many good, dumb people as well and good, smart people. Strong opening, the 82 shoulder taps. Great casting,

despite the fact, I don't know anybody. Because just the inner mixing, once you get to know these people, like it is, the casting is genius, quite honestly. And I'm loving the gameplay so far. It's fascinating. They just cannot do any wrong.

And I love the changes that they've made, especially with the secret trader. Although I would make this point to the producers, part of being the traders and the power of being a traitor is you have the sole choice as the traders to pick who you want to kill at night. And by letting the secret trader whittle it down to four, that you get to pick would take away the true power of the trader. So you're kind of, you get my point.

Neutering. Yeah, you're neutering them. You're like cutting one ball off. Which kind of takes away the whole point of being a traitor, but that's whatever. Well, they'll figure that out. They'll figure that out. But I'm still waiting for my check, 20 grand. Anyway, I'm going to give it 90 shoulder taps.

Okay, I'm going to give it 90 shoulder taps as well. I know that there's plenty of room for more shoulder taps, maybe even 10. I thought that the casting is so fun. And as we mentioned on, well, I guess I'll just get to this. Let's get to this now. One of my favorite things early on in the episode is

Johnny Ware and Lipnicki trying to keep it under wraps that they know one another. You're both ice skaters. Even if you weren't the best of friends, people in this game are really dumb. I mean, look at Michael Rappaport. So people will, we've had Tom Sandoval. Tom Sandoval, even if you guys didn't know each other, had never met.

If you were both ice skaters, Tom Sandoval would make it his mission to get rid of you because you've both ice skating. So the fact that you're trying, you know, actually, the people over at A-24 watched that episode of Tom Sandoval singing and they turned it into a horror movie called The Undertone. It's coming out in March. Anyways, I think the casting is really, really great. I think the inclusion of a secret

trader is so fun. The beginning, just welcome to the show. Here's your task. Go and act. It's just our favorite show and I'm so excited to get into it. So let's do just that. The pyrotechnics this year are unbelievable. It matched like the last, like, the last level of a nickelback concert. You know, I watched a documentary about nickelback and you're not going to believe it. It made them even lamer than I thought they were. I'm like, wow.

I do. I do believe it. The more you learn somehow it feels like you wouldn't be like, oh, wow, those guys are actually really cool, you know? Yeah, it was the exact opposite. I'm like, they're lamer than I thought they were. And if that's possible. So this is what, and this is why you listen to this show, what happened when Pat was writing his notes

was Pat saw the pyrotechnics and he was reminded of that documentary and about nickel back and then he rode that he watched the dock just to jot it down so he didn't forget

Nickelback very famous band in the early aughts right around Gavin de Grau and Stephen whatever the fuck his name is look at his graph all right Ron Funch is, we already talked about, I'm sorry, we arrive at the manor and there are, I mean, there's flames everywhere, there's blood in the fountains and Durinda is wearing Rina's lip liner. Now, Rina wants to be the most iconic trader ever and she's going to use every tool in her knapsack to do so.

That includes acting. that includes being a businesswoman. And here I wanted to just leave some space for Pat to talk about the launch of Renner-Rose and how when we saw it on TV, you literally could not get it anywhere. Yeah, Lisa thinks her, well, I was going to say Lisa thinks her acting skills are going to help her pull this off. And, yeah, and O.J. Simpson definitely didn't cut two people's heads off with a trial. It ain't going to work out. Oh, can I tell you something?

It was so fun the other night. Well, it wasn't because my child was sleeping, but outside the window, my wife and I are stirred awake by 50 police cars driving 90 miles an hour down our street. And Cici goes on the old app. She pulls up a live footage. Traffic, a speed chase? What do they call it?

High speed chase. High speed chase. So we got to witness the, the, we followed the high, high speed chase through our neighborhood. It was actually crazy. We've been there, you know. And actually he just gave up and then he started laying on the ground and there were, I'm not even kidding, 20 police cars. And I'm just like, can you imagine this guy's just laying on the ground, reverse Jesus? Somebody's getting raped right now and they're calling LAPD and they're like, sorry, we're standing around watching a guy lay on the ground right now, but I just can't do

anything about it. There's a guy who, um, he was a guy driving in like 20 police cars are chasing him, a fucking helicopter tracking him, smashes into another helicopter, two helicopters, everybody dies. The guy got charged with, he got charged for their murder. Oh,

well, that's not right. That's, that's the law. It's like a GTA chase. Hey, I am so sorry that I mentioned it. Kaelin,

cut that from the podcast. I don't even know what that is. All right. Okay, okay. So the players chat and yamia, is it jam or yam? Yeah, wait a second.

Ruby. Ruby. Sorry, alert, uh, Kailan, leave this part in. Pat, GTA, really?

In reference to crazy car things, you don't know what that is? Yes, you do. Patrick, come on. Two helicopters colliding in air and exploding. And I say GTA and you don't know what I'm talking about. Do you? Of course. I mean, this is Ria at you and Pikachu kind of stuff. GTA.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just nuts. Let's move on. I didn't mean to cut you off, Pat. You continue. It's Grand Theft Auto, okay? Oh, sorry.

All right. I don't play video games like you. Okay, so the gang begins to mingle. Is it jam or yam? Jam, Jam. Jam. It's both. It's jam here.

It's whatever you want. It's jam jam. Jam. Well, him and Colton comment on a few players from Big Brother and Survivor and how they were able to play dumb and pretend to be something they weren't. And Colton's like, I couldn't do that.

I was like, don't sell yourself short. You did three seasons on The Bachelor. Well, this is, and we'll get to this later, but there's a moment where Colton Underwood says, unironically, you know, I'm going to be pretty good at this because when I was younger, I played linebacker. People would look at me and they didn't think I could hit that hard. Bering the lead a little bit. You went on a heterosexual quest for love and you love cock. Yeah, yeah. So I think that's the reason why you're going to be good at the game.

Anyways, Rob Rausch, a very pretty pretty. girl named Mora, I think. Mora, yep. She looks like a sex doll. Okay. He said that like the N64 was wrapped on Christmas morning. I was watching a YouTube video

and they're selling this dog for 40 grand right now that's a robot. I think we're like eight months. He plays with you. Yeah. It never dies. That's, look it up. Well, there's that, uh, that there's that housekeeper robot, Neo that, uh, will do your dishes for you and clean your oven and stuff like that vacuum. The only catch is that it's $20,000. And in order to train it, a Scandinavian guy has to

operate it for like six months. Oh, wow. remotely. So there's just a guy named Fjorg looking at everything in your house. No thanks. We'll wait for the robots. Rob Rauch is a robot himself. Um, Mara comes up to him. She looked like a, Sex doll. By the way, Rob thinks he's going to be good at this because he screwed over a bunch of girls that he's dated. Yeah. Practice makes perfect. She says we should be friends, I think, and he falls asleep standing up and then face pushes her. So we see the great and powerful Allen coming and his even more powerful, powerful curl. The prize pool, you would think given the popularity of the show, they could bump that up a little bit, but they don't need to. 250. Dorenda would come out for 100 grand. I mean, you know, this is a big platform. It's a really big platform. If there is a trader left, they win it all.

If there are no traders, the faithful split the pot. But there is a difference this season. Alan Cumming will be choosing a trader in plain sight right now. Now, the reason I love this is because, as aforementioned, welcome to the show Mama Kelsey Jam Jam, Jam, whoever you are

this is a trial by fire of how to fake it till you make it in this game. You have to walk down look in a casket or a little what is just like a humidor or something Yeah.

And you are going to... A little jewelry box. A little jewelry box. It'll let you know if you're the traitor. And if you are, you're going to have to walk back in front of all of your cast members and not wear it on your face. Dill, not to undercut your thing here, but I think because no one knows anybody and no one's

had an opportunity to kind of observe reactions, it's a pretty easy play to stare at that card. Because no one... I understand, but my thing is that the American version of the show gives us all those opportunities. It's really good producing because you may not get stuff from these moments, but at least you set the trampoline for the kids to do backflips on. Okay, fair enough. I am never in my wildest dreams just looking. They showed most of the people get their reactions when they saw it.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed who was that secret traitor. I want to apologize. That whole metaphor of the kids doing backflips on that trampoline, that was a little nuts. But it's okay. We'll move on. Not a ton to single out here. But when we're, this is where Cole. Bolton says that he'd be really, he's going to be really good at this game because he was a good

tackler. And we then head back into the house. Now, we have no idea who got the secret trader. That's what secret means. Secret. So, um, we start with a trader staple right out of the gate. And that is stating the obvious. Tara Lipnicki says, one of us is a trader. Lisa Wren has got a couple of those tonight too. Yeah. Yeah. So, Ruby, who is? Someone's going to die tonight. Oh, wow.

Ruby, who is J-Jam? Jam. Jam is a wonderful man. He was placed in a very, very subpar situation. If I'm remembering correctly on his Survivor's season, like he repeatedly was just losing, losing, losing, losing, just shitty, no, nothing. And then he won. And he's just a likable guy who I think owns a hair salon with his husband. So, yeah, Jam Jam versus Michael Rappaport. Hey, Michael Rappaport, you're going to need to hit the gym a little bit, buddy, because no chance.

Well, I'm good at trash talking. Okay. No, you're not. Jam Jams dismantling it. Okay. You are going, it's like Jam Jam, becomes unhinged in a very different way. Michael, Michael needs to super glue his hinges back on. The screws are gone.

They popped off. But at least the hinges. Yeah, but he has the hinge on still because he caught it. He needs to glue it really quickly and then shove it back on. just pretend to be hinged, you know, and I can't. I love later on when they're at a roundtable, and Yamiam, like, lives up with the, you know, the board with Michael's name on.

He's like, I chose you, Michael, because you deserved it. Are we, I think we're... Yeah, you're ahead. It doesn't have. I'm just saying it doesn't, it doesn't, there's no consequences. Okay, right. Okay. And Ruby, who is Monet do exchange?

That I don't know. I do not watch RuPaul's. I'm sorry. My understanding is she'd been on. like three different seasons of that. Okay. Who is, yeah,

who is Natalie? Natalie. She's a survivor. Oh, incredible survivor. Yeah. Yeah. And she'd won as well.

Yeah. And I think she, oh, no, no, I thought she was, she was on, I don't know if she was on all stars.

I feel like I've seen her twice on Survivor. You have. She was on with her sister one time, I'm pretty sure. She's really, really good. She's really good. Now,

this is probably happens after the shoulder taps, but she announces to like a, a group of people that she's going to be a traitor hunter, clearly hasn't watched the show or listen to this podcast, because that is a dumb move. Right. Don't announce yourself. Number one rule of play.

So fly on the wall. Jam Jam and Monet Exchange are very right about Mama Kelsey. She's the perfect casting choice for a trader. Can I say this, though? Who cares if she's a perfect casting. choice. Because you don't have a lot to go on in the beginning. But that, that, that, honestly, that is the strongest clue early game that you can go with. Who would production choose? Candice and when we, we'll get to this in a bit, but like, just take

obvious swings in the beginning. Because you're thinking viral moments, like the most. There, there are people that, you're not going to cast, uh, but I don't know. You're not going to make Eric the secret trade. Right. Exactly. So. You don't have to worry about him. But Candice, Michael Rapopore, as we've seen in the past, like Boston Rob, the show picks people who they think would be good at it. And sometimes it's pretty fucking obvious. I love Tiffany playing to get her son through college.

And we've seen the ethical motive come out on top before. So I think that there's something that imbues your spirit and the game, if you are really doing it for a good reason. You know, I don't know. Maybe it's just woo-woo. Unlike Mama Kelsey, who's here because the fucking FBI or whatever entity wants to fucking diversify the family's profile, I don't fucking know that the, anyways, we get to the roundtable and our trader selection.

I must say. And I want to hear what your thoughts were when you saw the three shoulder taps. I was a bit disappointed at the choices initially. Okay, so our choices are Candice. who says, I mean, anyways, Candice, um, Rina, who wants to call Harry Hamlin and tell him immediately.

I'm going to call Harry fucking Hamlin. Can you imagine I call? Harry, I'm a traitor. Oh, that's great. Okay, hon. Okay. All right. That's amazing.

I'm surprised. Well, me and the girls are going to Gelson, so we'll talk to you later. Oh, uh, your grandmother's outside. No, your mom's outside. Lois. Honey, you're not going to believe it. Lois is outside. She's torturing the dogs again.

Oh, no way. She's here too. I just saw her. She can't be two places at once. Might just be a bird. Or a ghost. There you go. An angel.

Next up. Well, yeah. Is Rob, the snake charmer. Rob's a snake charmer? Well, he doesn't so much charm them as he does jump on them violently and grab them by the throne. which to some people is charming now if you're now what now just to go back to you to talking or maybe it was mostly delin talking about who would producers pick as a great casting choice rob would not be a great casting choice because no one knows who the fuck he is i know but every

season you get obvious choices and not obvious choices okay i disagree i think that people love island was a massive fucking deal this year or last year i think we're actually probably the only like I think it's weird that the three of us all don't know who he is. I can't watch shows that are on every night that aren't game shows. It's too much. And also, it's too much. And when they don't make their beds,

it's too anxiety-inducing. You can't do that every day. And also, don't give me the Love Island is a game show. It's not a game show. Okay, it's a sex show. Okay. So in my mind,

I thought definitely either Dorinda as a housewife or Renna. Derinda would have been really good. From getting eliminated in the first episode to Trader would have been amazing. Right. So I, I think Renna will be the first trader to get exposed, just because I don't think she's going to be good at this. Well, we'll see. I'm good with the traders. Should we do our picks right now who we think, just as we're so early in the first episode, who makes it to the end? We might as well, because we have no idea. Yeah. If you want to go for it. Yeah. Why don't you start? I think, I don't, God, hey guys, get in the comments.

Has any an OG trader ever made it to the end? I'm not talking about a traitor that got initiated later in the game. We've seen that play over a few times. Right. A OG trader, because I think that's an Achilles heel getting picked as the OG trader. You're done. It's hard to get through the entire game is out. If there is one, I'm loving the way that Rob initially plays this first episode as a traitor. Same.

He's playing a great game. I like him. I think Kristen's playing the kind of game I like, which is fly on the wall. Yeah, I think that Kristen is a really, really strong contender. I think Eric is too. Yeah. And Tiffany.

Tiffany, not to get ahead of myself, I think she has a little too much heart for Mr. Rappaport, and he may sink her later on. But I just like her. She's super smart. and she's observant, which sometimes can get you in trouble with dumb clues, but I've got to say it's one of those three that makes it to the end.

Interesting. Okay. Yeah, I like the Kristen pick. But yeah, we'll see. I also think Duay-X-Monnais is doing great in this first three-episode run. But yeah, I mean, it should be a little bit more obvious to us. But it's early. So hold on.

I want to point out, who has won? in the seasons that we've watched. People that have been fly on the walls, genuinely nice, right? Likeable. I think Ron Funches has a really, really good shot of getting late into this game.

He's such a sweet guy. We'll get there. So we head out of the meeting and we already have some slip-ups. Rina is struggling instantaneously with this. She's very nervous. She's very goofy. She's very loud.

but that's just kind of who she is. So she may be able to do a good job. Natalie, I think, steps in a bear trap. She's incredible on Survivor, but we've never seen the faithful monologue work really. Yeah. When you stand up in front of a bunch of people and profess yourself to be a faithful

and that you're committed to the faithful cause, it just hurts you. It's not, it's a flashlight. The way you gain trust with faithful is through bond through time and your vote patterns. Right. There's no amount of saying. But the worst of all the players so far is Michael Rappaport, who stands in the foyer

amidst a dozen people, maybe even a baker's dozen people, and says, mathematically, want to use a fucking traitor and want to use a trader. Well, he refers to the two groups, the gamers and the housewives. Now, he's absolutely correct in pointing this out. Sure. But he's being an idiot because he's breaking Patty's rule. And he's not correct. There are two housewives and no gamers, but he's correct to think like this.

Just don't. Just glue the hinges back on them. Michael, glue the, you need to get the glue back because your hinges are, we need the doors back on. You are, you may be right. You may be wrong. But either way, if the door was closed and your hinges. were glued on, it wouldn't ruin you. And you need to stop speaking completely, I think. If he has any chance of getting past week two in this game, he can't talk any more ever. Now, do you fault? Yeah,

go ahead. Well, it's funny because we've seen this happen where, and Michael will fall into this. Sometimes they don't even think you're a traitor. They just are so annoyed by you. They will get rid of you. The raccoon boy. The Australian with butthole eyes suffered this fate. We don't think you're a traitor. We just don't want to hear you anymore. Yeah. And it's a tough pill to swallow. We're not doing this for any strategy, any gameplay, really any reason other than we do not want to be around you.

We strongly dislike you. So, well, Michael claims to be a fan of this show. And for someone that watches this show, he just, he's like a five-year-old on fucking Ridland. Except he's 59. Right, right. He is. But he's, he's a big housewife's guy. Big housewife's guy.

And I think that people will see that if they follow his Instagram account wherein he's walking down New York City streets, screaming at people about, I don't know, fucking to rate. Anyways. Well, Israel lately, but usually it's to rate. Wow. Yeah. By the way, she's Israeli.

Oh, yeah. That's true. Well, Michael, Rob, who's a newly anointed traitor, walks into a room and Michael 27 goes, hey, you and I are going to have a fucking problem because you're too quiet. And I got a real fucking problem with quiet people because you're

sneaky. Hey, hey, listen to me. You're good looks and you're quiet. It's not going to fucking work. It's going to be a fucking problem. Jesus Christ. So, Robs, go ahead. What would you do? I'm not kidding. I thought that Rob handled this like a champion, which is why I'm excited to see him

treat because I think as he trades, he's going to be, he handles absurd shit. Like somebody, for example, yelling in his face, you're a fucking traitor. We know that you're a liar. You're a traitor. He would be like, you're, all right. You know, think whatever you want. This was absurd. This was like that scene and this is 40 when Leslie Mann finds that the child that was texting her daughter. That's what this felt like. It's like, what do you do? What do you even do? It's just so crazy what's going on. Yeah, I think she tells the child that he looks like Tom Petty. Yeah. She does.

Yeah. All right, let's get to the turret. Rina and Candice are revealed and make us sound similar to a coop of chickens being machine gun to death. And then Rob Rausch heads up. And we are reminded that there is one more trader left. Big time twisty, says Lisa Rinnett. Love it. Let's break down the role of the secret trader. Now, the traders do not know who the secret trader is. The secret trader does not know who the traders are. but the secret trader will be writing a short list for the traders to select from. This is not an open field. This is a curated list of possible victims from the secret trader. Now, this was your idea, and they owe you $20,000 for it. It's also how many of these subterfuge games are played. Secret Hitler has this mechanism.

I think mafia does, but you don't want. want to give. It's a way to neutralize the power of the traders a little bit. And I love this inclusion because the traders have to wrestle with one, not having a full field of people to kill, possibly having their names on the list, which is what we see with Rob tonight, but also having to be careful of who they banish because they're trying to suss out who their shadow ally is, which just makes the game that much more interesting. As, well, we'll get there. Okay.

So Rob Rausch heads up. And, oh, no, no, no. This is where they meet. Okay. So we'll get to the first challenge right now. We have boats. We have coffins and we have three leaders, Rob, Colton, and Stephen. I also called T-GAS.

Time to get a snack. What? Oh, the mission. Bomber. I was going to go to you and go, what? And then you said the question I was going to ask. T-gas. Time to get a snack.

These missions suck. You can call them filler if you want. But that's just one word, F. So much fun to call it T-GAS. Okay, thank you for the breakdown, Pat. I would have been lost in the woods. Yeah. I still very much am. Because I disagree.

Well, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, but when you're viewing these challenges, are you gleaning anything other than it, which I will say it's hard to row. It's very difficult to row. Many of childhood fights were started because of the inability to row between the two of us. Also, Pat, were you about to disagree? I know I'm a lawbreaker here, but why bring one coffin back at a time? We all have hands here, right? grab a coffin. We're going to drag like six back one trip.

You have to hook it, Patrick. With my hand. Like Billy the kid. Matthew McConaughey. All right. All right. He's weird today and I got to say I love it. I'm going to drink a butt.

No, I'm sorry. What's that brand that we're sponsoring now? Big Sips. I'm going to have a big sip. Okay. I've slept four and a half hours. I've watched nine. hours of television. TIFs. Time for a big sip. I like it. Yeah, me too. So can I break the

fucking game down? Yeah, sorry. Go ahead. So there are three boats and we're going to be rowing out, gathering coffins, towing them back. Now, the games are more filler than normally the rest of the show. But what the American version does is throws wrenches in the contests. This wrench is a Upon bringing the coffin back, you will select a grave with a name on it. That person will be up for elimination. So however many they get, they will get the most money and then the more money and then more people will be up for elimination. So you throw this thing into the game of people having to be strategic about who they're putting up for elimination, which I like quite a bit. And we see that it really, it kind of leads to a lot of contentious

opinions. Michael Rappaport is beside himself that someone would put... I can't fucking believe! Yeah, yeah. This is horseshit. Michael, we hate you. I looked at that grave plot and someone had to make their way around

to the second row to put my fucking coffin in that grave. And he's right. They're like, no, Michael, we all did it together. We know we don't want you here. That's why. Yeah. So Johnny Falls. Colton pulls a coffin up onto the boat, states the obvious.

The more we put in their graves, the less room they'll have to put in ours. The Red and the Green team have teamed up and they are wiping the white team away. Stephen from Laguna Beach says, I guess I'm not a great leader. Are there leaders in this contest? Like, Stephen, you're not leading anybody. Candace orchestrates Donna. Yeah, I think Candice says we got to put one in. to orchestrate Donna.

Yes, yes. Attempts to. Okay. Another trader's tradition, the Christopher Nolan manipulation of time. Now, Nolan does it with Master for Storytelling. Traders does it with chiron's and countdowns.

Okay. Same thing. We are always in every challenge, one second away from succeeding or failing. Yeah. So just like that time piece, you know, little coin spinning around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. I hated that movie. You're speaking of inception. You're speaking of the totems. And I agree it's not what, it's not, it's not his best. That van going off that bridge. I'm like, oh my God.

They keep cutting to it. I'm like, well, this end, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it does get a little known. He's like, well, when they're falling off the bridge, it takes seven seconds, but here it takes seven days. And down there, it takes four. years and my wife is down there. Okay, got it. I got some place I got to be. So Ron, Rob, R,

Donna, Eric, Michelle, Ian Durinda, Robsey, Mark are all up for elimination. Not only are they up for elimination, but they have to cover their graves with dirt. Brutal. Now, Donna is a nasty player and a vile creature. She says, don't get mad, get even. She is this wolf and sheep's clothing or a wolf and grandma's clothing. Okay. This woman is a threat and a danger to everyone on this cast and this this cookie house bullshit don't fall for it okay um we get moving i mean am i the only one that is tired of this family i haven't i mean my god get in the comments this is the first time i've been acquainted with miss uh miss whatever their name is right but you've been acquainted with the brothers chravos yeah his girlfriend m-hmm jason

his lovely wife. And again, they're lovely, but I'm sick. I've had so much. So we get moving back and Porsche is still pissed that they almost put a coffin in her grave. Porsche, calm the fuck down. To Porsche, I would say glue the hinges back on because a second to Michael Rappaport in terms of being horrible at this game is Porsche. Robs, go ahead. Portia is, I will say, though,

this is what her hinges are. Like the contractor came in and he was like, man, they're fully screwed on, but you didn't lose any. This is just Portia. I do not know Michael Rappaport on a personal level. If this is really what he is like in his everyday life, I,

that's interesting. Portia, I can't explain why it's more acceptable to me, but it is. And based off of what we've seen on Atlanta, she is nutty and fun and I think it'll be fucking hilarious to watch. She has the biggest ass I've ever seen on a human being. I mean, it is the size of a star. It's ridiculous.

It's beautiful. Okay. I love asses. Yeah. Small ones, big ones, flat ones, tall ones, poofy. You have a tall ass, man. I love them. And I love them in those black stretchy pants now, because it shows everything. I love it ass. Kaelin, can you fly that, please? Hey, um, ribs. Do you have anything to say or just can't it had in confusion? Yeah, okay. Hey, so we're going to talk about in the van where Candice makes this blunder, right? Yes. Which was so stupid. It's not like I wanted to win, but I hope she learns from this.

If you're going to lie from a strategic standpoint to get something to do. You cannot have a witness. You can't have a witness. So she says she heard Michael Rappaport say something along the lines of, let's get a housewife. Right. Okay, which he did not say. Ron Funches was right there.

And later on, he's such a sweet guy and is right there as a witness to say that was not said. But she mentions this in the car with Portia and Mora from Love is Blind. Now, what Candace knew and what we were ignorant about or are ignorant about is that people who are on Love is blind or Love Island, they're not necessarily witnesses. They're more like mannequins who just fuck and drink and sit in the back of cars. Because when she is asked to corroborate this, she goes, I've got no idea. Had she been able to corroborate that? That could have been the end for Candace. And that would have been a quick ending for her.

Now, Rappaport to his credit, when Porsche brings this to him, he goes, let's get everybody involved. Let's get everybody involved. You got Ron. I thought, and by the way, everybody was in the, kitchen, I'm like, oh my God, we're going to see a trader go down in the first day. It's never been done before. We get to the turret and the secret trader shortlist. Renna, Candace, excuse me. And I'm so sorry. Gay, ew, still. It was still. It was, it's very dry out here.

And it's doing things. So my allergies. I had a hiccup and then my sneeze. I sucked in. It was disgusting. We're almost near the finish line. The secret trader provides the short list. I think it was the mic and Ix. Honestly, we had mic and I glommed me up. I think it's what happened. And I want to say again, I apologize. So, the secret list. And I love calling it the secret list.

Me too. The secret short list. Ian. T-S-S-L. Okay. T-GAS. You know, I want to name the episode that. but no one will have a fucking clue what it means. And when they listen to it, they still might.

Okay, so the TSSL is Ian, who is a big brother player. Mark, who is on Dancing with the Stars, Eric, who is a world-renowned singer and the snake charmer. Now, the secret trader put the snake charmer on this list. Now he's a traitor. So now he has to worry about this goddamn fucking secret traitor blowing his shit up because you could surmise that if the secret trader is shortlisting you, they will be politicking against you in the house.

So that's something that you got to be a little... Here's what's interesting about these really early on lists like that. You can't actually kind of glean anything from them because nobody knows anybody yet. Like I'd love to ask the secret trader what was behind this list? I would love and we have not had this really, but I would love for the traders to come out and take a fucking swing. They say that we don't want to rock the apple cart. Every season,

it's always kind of like a milk toast murder on the first night. Take somebody out. Put people on fucking notice. We're here to kill. And we're here to recap. Get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about. the first episode of the Traders.

We're so happy that the show is back. Love it. Head to patreon.com slash another podcast network for the full season. Real Housewives of Salt Lake Reunion coming up and all so much mores. I'm Dylan. That's Pat. Hi. And Ruby to say goodbye.

Bye bye. Nailed it. Nailed it.