Kill James Bond! - The Spare | Below Deck Sailing Yacht S4 E7

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Dylan and Pat are back to breakdown Neapolitan coconut candy, squashing beef, The Angry Pirate, knee boards, Hemingway, Monopoly, Richard Gere’s gerbil, The Titanic, QR code menus, and much more from Bravo’s Below Deck Sailing Yacht Uncensored content and exclusive shows including Vanderpump Rules at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkThis show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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He did a magnificent job with the film he really did such a great job you really did you know and I'm tired of all these people always going like oh all the end the do was swim till another boat picked him up like no no no no the water too cold so then when they say that I go you know what you do you All they had to do was swim till another boat picked him up like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So are you saying that the people who were in the waters after? Died because they were just getting chewed up by lofts Hi, welcome aboard. It's welcome aboard. It's another Bolognac podcast. I'm Dylan. I'm settled up next to one Patrick Hickey permission to come aboard. Man with a pool, man with a pool. It's been a long saga. I could not be more happy for you and we'll break down all of it at patreon.com slash another podcast network, another podcast show.

I think that's where I'll share the tale. You know, Dylan's a lot can be learned when you're trying to get people, motivate people, turns out if you are threatened to sue them and then you send them a strongly worded letter saying that you will in fact sue them if they don't finish the work that they've been paid for. Right, right. You couldn't imagine what a motivator that is. Oh my gosh, can you move mountains like that, kale and the produce of the shows behind

my glasses. Hi everyone. I am very annoyed with the fans. Oh no. Let's do a public service announcement. We've talked about it. We've told the story. We don't want to victimize ourselves, okay? But our YouTube channel, Donna Brazil, Thief in the Night,

we had to start an entirely new YouTube channel. That's very, very hard and frustrating as a business. I hate the way it sounds in here. I hate the way it sounds in here Kalin comes in here. He's doing shit with the board. I'm I'm I'm hot right now Wow sound like a diva we had our YouTube channel Donna Brazil thief of the night Megan Kelly's asking what happened. She's saying it doesn't matter the emails were stolen Where are you going we need you guys to go to the fucking bad TV YouTube channel and subscribe, okay? We're almost out of thousand there are tens of thousands of you listening to the show

We're not quite at a hundred thousand, but it's nuts We told the story it's a harrowing tale. Again, I don't want to complain too much, but we need your help. Go to the YouTube channel. Subscribe. BadT.v. I'm going to smoke some pot. Okay, let me just wrap this up.

Okay. Why don't you just hit pause right now? Why don't you do dilly and I a favor? Especially if you're one of those cheapo people that don't want to pay for our pay-trade. It's your cheapo and you owe a fucking You know what it's like doing this as a business pat and I have families homes Golf balls to buy I mean what the fuck? Yeah, help us out

Come on You know what the good news you're so verlining though what I went to big bear over the weekend Absolutely trash, but I went into a candy shop and found these this treat from the 90s that I'm absolutely I it just in in love with again the the three color coconut the neapolitan coconut you ever had this I don't remember I remember neapolitan was a big thing in the 80s. If I ice cream it'd be all three flavors. Right, right, right. Try and save a buck, you know, like that.

Eat a butter with jelly already. I gotta tell you, this stuff has really brightened my diet. Give me a piece. I know that our fans are kind of annoying me and Kaelin came in here, fucked with the board and everything sounds bad. Oh, this is delicious. Is that not delicious?

Well, I bet this is all natural in organic as well. It's not that bad for you though It was back in the 90s when chemicals were There weren't trying to be like Stevia, you know what I mean right they weren't trying to kill you and fans are like get into the show You know what subscribe to the YouTube channel. I'm I don't give a shit I'll talk about politics. No, you won't. Hey, let's get into our thoughts and not. Fallen, you want some?

Sure, why not? Okay, Dylan, do you want me to do my thoughts and nots about what I thought about this? Why would you give this three-color coconut candy bar? Six out of 10. Fair. I'm pretty confident that just based on the colors that they do to color the various pieces of coconut

That it's poison Join some Facebook if you've ever had these last no so good delicious, and I don't even like candy Or coconut what treat we're doing a couple full paws in the podcasting biz eating on Mike Bad form. Yep, and then taking too long to get to the content that people are here to You know be entertained by thanks for keeping the trains moving. There you go. All right, let's get into the episode. Go to the fucking YouTube. I'm gonna talk about God knows what for 15 minutes next week if we're not over a thousand. We got to get over a thousand. Help us out. Please calm Dylan down. You don't want to talk about the barefoot contest for 20 minutes. I might eat more. What Would you like an omelette? What's our husband's name? Jeffrey? Jeffrey would you like an omelette? That's a terrible jihad. Okay. Not a GI. I know. Excuse me. Okay. This episode was

a true example. The chocolate has a distinctness. The vanilla has a distinctness in the strawberry. I mean, and the three of them together, Neapolitan Neapolitan for a reason. I'll talk about Ina and Jeffrey for 30 fucking minutes. That's right. All right. All right. A thousand now calm down. Let's get into the show This episode was an example of why No one should ever take a yacht or one of these yachts as a vacation as a trip Take a yacht or one of these yachts as a vacation as a trip These boats ruin vacations these boats are the worst thing that ever happened This show was the worst thing that ever happened to this industry

You know that you're gonna say humanity But it does ruin sea rat lives as well too, you know and I was just when this engine broke down the second time and it as Captain Glenn pointed out not related to the first engine issue. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? You're four or five episodes in. The boats already broken down fucking twice. So Jalopy, it reminded me of my first car, a Jalopy. A gelapi. The boat's a gelapi. It's a hunk of junk. Anyway, can you imagine some husbands and he's like, hey, honey, what do you think this year? We do something a little different. We charter one of those yachts. And she says, are you kidding?

Have you seen the show below deck? Yeah. The employees talk badly about the paying customers. The kitchen is normally manned by an insane person. In the last couple episodes, they almost burned paying customers alive. That goddamn smoke. What was that?

This last episode, boat was technically on fire. So looking oil. Oh, that's so unattractive, Cality. That's a smoke. It was on fire. Okay. So anyway, oh, sidebar. I'm sorry I'm not helping right now. That's okay. I'm just

carrying. I'm in a funk. Karen from the first episode. Now a lot of people weren't fans of her. She listens to the show, by the way, and I have talked to her. She posted on Instagram. I think she's suing a number of companies associated with the show. Oh, crazy. You know, speaking of her, and I hope you're listening, take your medication, you're fucking out of your mind, you're re, you're redoing your handles on social media to be below deck charter. If the episode was, or charter, I guess the episode was yonder, move on with your life and definitely don't imbue your entire identity with your appearance on the show because that would be absolutely insane nobody cares well Dylan there is something there is a some interesting information I'll I screen grabbed the the post here it turns out so here's what she says she says there's a couple of grand grammatical errors here so you always look at the panic frenzy okay so she basically says I hope

every charter after ours speaks their minds about the lack of hiring pretty uh... crew instead of hiring experience right in the opposite of that because they do hire attractive people uh... then she said especially at sixty thousand dollars for two days get your shit together bravo hashtag morgan and morgan law i guess that's the lawyers that she's hiring you know what are we doing right now for two days. Get your shit together, Bravo. Hashtag Morgan and Morgan Law. I guess that's the lawyers that she's hiring, you know? What are we doing right now? Oh, I was just talking, I was still in my thoughts

while you were calming down. It's trying to kill some time until I can. All right, well, I'm calm. I mean, this is essentially like what's bringing in a homeless person and having them talk about things. I mean, you know, this isn't true. Sure, sure. Okay, Well, let me wrap this up I enjoyed the episode because of just how insanely

Poorly this crew in this boat is performing for paying customers, right? It is truly what do you always say about the show Dylan? It's it's foisting and competence on wealthy people. Mm-hmm. That's what this episode was. Yeah, thoroughly enjoyed it 16 knots. Okay, Ellen. I was pretty disappointed. What are you writing down? There hasn't been anything funny yet. Well, it's for the summary. We did a whole Jag on your Neapolitan coconut candy. Okay. I feel like that should be noted in the show. Okay. Yeah. No, that's good producing.

I was pretty disappointed by the night out. Do they not go out to clubs? Why aren't they going out to clubs anymore? Like I don't understand. Just go straight back to the boat and still not much happened. Yeah, kind of okay episode, I guess. But I did get a lot of enjoyment out of Gary getting old but hurt about it. That's flirting with Alex again. So I'll bump it up to about 33. 30 knots. I mean, let's not do that again.

I can ask him questions and shit in the middle of fucking. All right, Gary, you need to figure it out. Gary are awful. I mean, the wings are singed. I mean, the kid just flew way too close to the sun. You can see it on his face. It's very red. He's just losing his mind over this kind of, I mean, Freudian field day kind of thing where this, I mean, we've talked about it before, you know, the guy in the at hearty at Laurel Tavern, hit on girls, they're yucked out, but it's this thing where he's like at a cataclysm

of identity and he's losing his fucking mind. Well, let me tell you something. He's very limited on his identity. The man has no hobbies because if you asked him what he truly enjoys out of life. Smoking and pussy. Inhaling carcinogens, drinking himself into a stupor. Don't say inhaling carcinogens. And banging sea rats.

The man has probably not played a single round of golf his entire life. And you don't need to. Well, take some piano lessons then. Jacob piano. Hey. Golf never gave anybody a glimidia Gary. Okay.

Well, I don't know, down and down in the floor to you never know what's in the air. It's yeah. Why'd you give up golf? Ah, okay. Okay. I'm just saying there are other. Yeah, why'd you give up golf? Okay I'm just saying there are other Can you note that down that that was

He is up in his head take it down a notch take it down a notch enjoy yourself. Did you note that? I noted it all right Jesus fucking Christ. I told you. I'm not in a good mood today. Well, you know, be a professional. Patrick, I'm attempting to be a professional, you know, every once in a while, I can come in here and be a little pouty. Now I understand, you know, it should never happen. But I mean, how many fucking episodes have we done? And how many f***?

Maybe cut that out, Caitlin. I don't know. I mean, my God. I made another note. Thank you. All right. Let's get in this shot. Okay. Four. Oh, also a gym. You don't know these people. They don't know you. You've gave a, you gave a sea rat a foot massage, you creepy bastard. What are you doing, dude? They don't know you, and we'll get into it. But they're only pretending to enjoy it because you're paying them, just know that.

The familiarity that this man has with these people, who I'll say it again, they have no idea who he is. And they have an idea of who he is, but they don't know. I mean, Daisy, what do you've been up to? What kind of question is that? All right. So,

last we left off the C-dog and Gary were at each other's throats. Daisy and Gary are at each other's throats. The C-dog and Daisy are at each other's throats. I mean, the whole thing's gone boobs up. Yeah, it's hard to see. You like to see the threesome all get along, you know, the OGs, you know, they need to hold hold the fort. You know that tarot card reader from Vanderpump that lives in that backyard back there. He could probably hear us talking right now. Yeah, well, I can hear one of his bakers dozen dogs.

You've done something with this boredom and I'm in rage that you know. All right, so Daisy says Colin needs to shut the fuck up and know his place. My god, Daisy. Sound like me. Oh grumpy pants. My god. So Gary and c dog make up gary says sorry got so deep bro it didn't yeah you know I was you're arguing over a sick break this beef gets squashed pretty quickly and I was like trying to hand is like I'm like it's not because they're forgiving people it's because there are more important matters at hand which are getting blackout drunk right sucking down some sigs like your life depends on it inhaling car So in trying out that angry pirate on meds

See we are gonna bleep some stuff tonight. You might need a bleep here. That's why you go to patreon because you hear out All right, let me guess. Okay. All right. It's called the angry pirate angry pirate. Okay. All right, so I can't even get rid of this down agree pirate. agree pirate. Okay. Alright. So, can we get right in and out this down? I don't know. Okay.

So, definitely has to do with. Oh, very good. Well, let's keep going. It's definitely has. Because a pirate always has one eye. One eye. And what else do they have? Are you blinding me?

What else do they have? A peg leg. That? What else do they have? A peg leg. So this is what I think it is, right? So you're, you. You. You. You. Blinded it. Then. While they are working on.

That whole thing. You either break or chop one of those legs. You step on their flip and then they hop around the room. Like they got one leg. You step on the leg. You step on the leg or chop one of the other. You step on their foot and then they hop around the room like they got one leg. Are you blinded me? With **** right. Yeah, that's exactly right. Well done, Dylan. That's called the angry pirate. Anyway, that's why Gary and Colin were to work through their differences so quickly because he wanted to try that on Mads ASAP. Yeah, well something happens to mad's where she's violently ill at the thought and sight of him,

well the son of sion, the sky, and then at night she for some reason is okay with him. All right, so Gary says he kissed mad's, so he can't kiss any of the other girls, which is this odd thing kiss any of the other girls, which is this odd thing to kind of present as principled. Because I mean, what are we doing here? I mean, you're just, you're just a suntan bag of leather walking around this boat, just trying to have sex with whoever. He does the thing where he's like, I now have to commit to her, which is absolutely insane. I think we've seen him on boat's bass hook up with multiple women.

And he's also told Alex that he's not going to do that. So where it, I feel like this is Morgan Freeman right here. Where's Gary? You know what I mean? This loser's really struggling because if we really look back on his past couple of seasons, he's always being pursued. So this is confusing for him.

Because now he's on the chase, and he can't figure it out. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember, yeah, girl last season, I think her name was Eat Ashley or something like that. She's something like that. Can you, can you note that? It happened.

It happened. It happened. like that. Can you, can you know, can you know, can you know, it happened? It happened. Note that. Yeah, all right. So Gary is Gary. Daisy and Alex, oh, well here in lies, I think, the engine of this entire downfall.

You know, we had some kind of crude little mechanism on the back of the wings while he was flying up there towards the sun, getting our sun burnt and shit. And the thing driving the descent down into fucking national embarrassment is heartbreak. He says something about how Alex and Daisy were making out while he wasn't there. And he says it in a way that's like,

oh, that's still very, very much in your crawl. That's very up in your heart. You're a love sick puppy. Sounds like a sex addict to me. Yeah, because you could say that he is jealous or that he cares, but I think he just wants to control. I think he just wants to have everything open because he's a crazed kind of sex octopus.

I bet if you did one of those brain scans on his brain when the smoke was coming out of that back of the boat about what his, where his head was at during that period. I bet he's like, I don't know, I really want to suck some magic. It's like Gary, you could die. Right, right, right. All right, let's get to dinner with Jacka Poe and Alessio. Chase is a ton here, huh? Oh, he's a lot. I love the guy. Oh, by the way, I think in the middle of this episode,

we're gonna... I'm gonna put that on on Thursday. We'll do, you'll have this one and then Thursday, we did an interview with Chase. Fun interview. Great guy. Gage some dirt. Listen to the show. Very, very good at talking shit.

It was a lot of fun. Okay, Thursday. Because we've said some yucky things about Chase, but great sport. Great sport. Had a lot of fun. So he's annoying at this dinner, right? He's like, Gary, he's like,

check and nugget some watermelon. It's like, dude, we're out of Sardinian tasting menu. Okay, Chase. Pre-workout is speed I mean we'll talk about it but you gotta stop doing pre-workout just to get through the day I mean that's nuts having a espresso or okay also it's like it's like wild berry mountain blasts why do you want to have that in the middle of the day that's disgusting hey can I do a meanwhile yeah meanwhile. Meanwhile, Lucy, we learned that she forgot to put her kneeboard down. Whoa, pat pat pat. Yeah. That's actually

not her name. Lucky. Lucky. Forgot to port her kneeboard down. And that's a crucial piece of hardware, hardware for these vessels. You know, it's the only thing that stands between a drunk sea rat flying out of the bunk like a fucking flying squirrel. Yeah, you know what I mean? A little sugar glider. A little sugar glider. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think out of that eat Ashley girl, she did like a full on face plant last season

with that. So this video of a guy in Echo Park is throwing a sugar glider up in the air because he has one. Fucking hotk comes down. I think we talked about this, right? That's why you don't own rodentia. That's why you don't buy rodentia. Pat, what flavor are you on? Chocolate.

Doesn't have a distinct chocolate flavor. I don't want to shit on your point, but I think they all taste the same. Well, you are done blind more on that's why. All right, I'm so hot tonight. All right, so C. Dog and Daisy, the tension's still, still linger. And then jealousy strikes.

Alex and Mads are a little flirty, flirty at one end of the table. And Gary is growing a kind of, Akmi, Tom and Jerry kind of, um, Akmi, Tom and Jerry kind of cartoonish red. Um, the dinner wraps up and Mads finds herself, um, in a walkway by the ocean, surrounded by all the men again. And she all smoking siggies, all smoking siggies.

And she goes, it's a beautiful outlook outlook point to it's like you guys and you're gonna be inhaling a nicotine right here. Why is fucking with you right now? What are you fucking Ronald Reagan tonight? Well, it's just you're losing the moment, you know, you're losing the moment. Yeah, yeah, look out at that beautiful view. You know, you don't never know how many Sunrises or sundowns you have Dylan. Why waste it? I just sucking down those

Siggies, you know, you're saying tobacco ruins moments and distance. I think so Really Well, how about a nice glass of wine. Oh, okay. Yeah You think Hemingway wasn't taking in moments where it was stabbing soldiers. Didn't he kill himself? I don't know. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. But it wasn't the nicotine. It was the insanity and probably the drinking. All right. Was the World War I or World War II? Which one was he in? He died in the 50s.

Okay, so that's going to be World War I. Bads is like, why am I always surrounded by guys? And it's like, listen, I don't want to do this thing. And I'm not slutshaming because it's not a slutshamey kind of thing, but it's just this boy crazy kind of thing where the boy crazy ones are like, Why am I always surrounded by boy? It's like, you know, there's a thing that's going on here. It's not, I'm not slutshaming. No one's, you see what I'm putting.

No, no one accused you of that. You're up in your head. Hey, something happens here that I am truly bothered by, though, Alex, because he's more concerned about work environment, decides to back off of Mads, leaving a gaping wide a whole or opportunity, Jesus Christ, for Gary to make his move on Mads. No, you don't need to note that, but it was, you don't need to say gaping.

Anyway, Gary moves in on Matt's. Really, you like being a second fiddle there, Gary, huh? I guess it all works out for you. I like how Alex is playing it. Now, it's slightly involuntary because he's such a drunk that he just gets to a point where he doesn't have any agency over what he wants but He is like yeah, I'm not gonna fucking touch it professionalism with him. You know what I mean?

I should remind him that he tried to set a drink on Captain Glenn's head a couple episodes back But uh, well, I would say that he tried to You know, let's thank you for smoking kind of ear in our cart rebrand this whole thing. He was trying to give him water. All right, so Gary and Madd start speaking Spanish to one another, which just disgusts me. Does it not you? Not really. Okay. Not that it's Spanish. It's just that, oh, you guys have this thing now.

You're in a little hairy at the spy tree house together. Speaking in some strange coated tongue. All right. You know, I, and I hesitate to do this. I know I'm gonna funk today, but. Probably. You know, you're not helping me very much. Well, and I don't want to direct my anger at you.

I feel like that's like a psychological trapping. I'm just lashing at it you, but, you know, I've already lashed out at him. The audience. The audience. The audience. It's not my fault. So I'm sorry. I've been nasty to that.

Very. Very. But again, how many shows have we done hundreds of hundreds? Well, you yell at the audience. You don't yell at your producer or your co-hosts. Well, let them have it and then we move on. Oh, okay, let's do this. Fuck both of you.

Let's get to an ad break. I'm kidding. So Gary and Mads speaking to Spanish, Gary confronts her for hitting on Alex. And Alex comments on how messy this whole thing is. Says, I don't want to touch it with a 10-foot pole. We move on to the sea rats once again entering into another dimension. If you drink enough, you can time travel.

We've talked about it before. This is quantumania happening on reality television. It's never been done like this before. Daisy is just, she's done a different planet. I was watching with my wife and it's just amazing. The consistency, the consistent amounts of getting this drunk. I mean it's every other night Given the work they have to do. I know we've talked about it before, but it's astounding quite shocking now Dylan

Just where are we in the episode are we in the vans headed back? Let's get where in the vans. Let's go back now This is where mad's does something interesting because the vans are separated by boys and girls and does something interesting because the advance are separated by boys and girls. And Mads immediately gets in the van and says how disgusted she is and how lame Gary is. Yeah. And that we'll see how that plays out a little later. Right. And Gary is the beneficiary of one thing, which is limited options, which is always a pathetic place to be. Alex passed out, Gary's there, and he poured into storm. Any port in a storm. Now Chase is thankfully here to vibe. He wants to have a good time, he wants to shake out all this tension, and the way that

you do that is you play a game that was invented by pedophiles. What Alex is going to, or what Chase is going to set up is all of the sea rats kind of shaking hands the way the dogs do. You insert your snout into the anal cavity of another friend, and that's how you really get to know them. Green dot blue dot. Twister left leg here blue leg there. It's a great game. By the way, you want to talk about range. Twister is something that six year olds can have fun with. And also it can be completely sexualized for adults, as you mentioned someone's nose and someone else's ass hole.

Yeah. Hey Diane, holiday shopping. Hold on, everyone's getting the new iPhone 15 from Team Mobile. And Team Mobile's covering the cost. Plus, I got four lines for 25 bucks a line per month. I gotta get to T-Mobile. Get four iPhone 15s on us with the eligible trade-in when you switch to T-Mobile. Minimum of four lines for 25 dollars per line per month without a pay-descount using

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i don't think monopoly has that range oman apple you can get pretty sexy uh... because if you treat it like like let's say you roleplay right like pat what's your uh... favorite franchise of pornography? Latina's with heels. Oh, I'm talking about IP. IP property. Oh, okay. Oh, my favorite property. A boardwalk. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The porn is the property management porn thing. Oh, okay. Where you know, they replicate that really

sad thing that happens across America Well, if you can't make the rent this month Property sex You doing like that wow boy does that fulfill a lot of people's fantasies I had no idea there was so many creepy sons of bitches that are like boy. I hope she can't make rent this week Well, I got into a how do I get into property management? Yeah. I kind of fell into it. You know what? I want to say it found me. Yeah, creep. All right, so um, oh, Mary fuck killed. You want to hear how this landed?

This was mad. So Mary fuck kill. Yeah. Uh... bang Alex uh... marry call and killed chase gary was left off the list i'd say that's more of an insult and being killed yet that's that's being sannos snapped i think he took some of the came in here today, Caleb. I'm gonna give him a drug test. Can I have a higher follicle, please? What do you think I took? Mushrooms?

No. No. No. You know, where did the sun go today? I mean, it was supposed to burn off. What do you do for a living channel for news guy? That's your only fucking job. You can't predict that's your only fucking job You can't predict that it's gonna be yeah

Bitch about this all the time. Yeah fucking and they all have those cute stupid names like Thomas Tornado How about Johnny mountain Dallas rains Get out of here What's another one Yeah out of here. What's another one? Uh, uh, summer carls bad. All right. You know what I think it is? What? Your attitude today? Is that what it is? I just don't want to talk about Bull of Deck.

What? Yeah. Oh, come on, it's our favorite show to recap, Deli. Yeah, I don't know. God, I'm going to see my therapist tomorrow. Something's going on. Oh, man. Gotta get a tune up.

Yeah. You know what hasn't gotten a tune up in a while? Parsley. This fucking bow. It's a gelopy. It could sink it in. Can you look that up? I think it's gelop neck. It's gelopy. Before we get to the next day and like all the smoke and stuff and you get like the gorilla glue that was holding the engine together, smelting and then being burnt to smithering. There's that thing where Gary does that, the red face drunk lean bed breath, you know, and he's like accusing her of being manipulative and then Alex comes down and he's like,

see, talking about. Now, you've proved my point exactly. What? There it is, you've proved my point exactly. What the fuck are you talking about? And then they somehow kiss. Just astounding. What is it, Kaelin?

It's Jolopik and Jolopnik. What is Jolopnik? Is that a Rusky spaceship that blew up or something? Yeah, I think that they had a chimpanzee in there. His name was Freckles. Right, right. He sons the bitches. Put your grandmother in there if you think the spaceship's fucking flyward. You know what? I love that, actually. That's so fucked up to do to a fucking animal.

Put an old woman in a wheelchair in there. Right, right, right. Cause how many of these fucking decreptile dying elderly people? If I'm eating and I'm pooping, if look, if I'm eating basically all my foods mashed up or I'm eating it through a straw, put me in a spaceship that might blow up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cause you know,

like the liver spots and whatnot. Just fucking put them in a spaceship that might blow up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cause you know, like the liver spots and whatnot. Just fucking put them in a goddamn thing and, you know, they can be close to the heavens. What if I, what's Jaloptic, yeah? That's what I'm trying to look at. It has, it's like an automotive blog. Maybe that's it. I think it's a slang term for bitch.

These are just some of the general. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, this is the only Kistell. And they proceed to make out all over this boat. Like it's a scene from fucking Shades of Grey, okay? But Gary, he's looking really pathetic here. If there was a book read about him, it should be called The Spare.

You know, because he's a backup plan. Give me the book trailer. The spare? Yeah. Oh, oh, may I do a voice? This summer. Okay. Who wrote the spare?

I don't know. Oh, who wrote shades of gray? One man will lose all self respect and wait till another guy passes out black out drunk to make love to the woman that he's had a, I'm so sorry. I don't know, it's okay, but he has to have a profession.

Like, so like, oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. So he's an auto mechanic obviously. All right. And then, oh, I got it. So it's the spare, right? Kill somebody.

Finds a twin of them. And then it's just a lyrity and soot. Now you realize, Harry, what the hell is the Prince guy? That was the name of his book. Prince Harry called, he wrote a book called called the spare because he's the backup. Can I tell you I am so tired of these fucking people. Oh no you talking about their problems? Shut up I'm not Pierce Morgan or anything. I don't know anything about Megan Markle. I've seen the clips of her on suits

Morgan or anything, I don't know anything about Megan Markle. I've seen the clips of her on suits. So I'm not going to say like, oh, you you should have known they were racist. Like, what'd you say? You know, you know, it's, it's gross stuff. She can be grossed out by gross stuff. But just be grossed out by gross stuff, not on Oprah and Montecito. Go away. I don't know. Nobody needs to fucking, people are obsessed with the royals though, you know what I mean? Does she really like the royals? Now she has a give a shit. I'm English and I don't give a shit. Well that's right, his mother's from England.

I'm a citizen and I could not care less for either of them. Yeah, terrible episode tonight, huh? I think we're doing great. I'm really sorry to everybody. I'm zonked out on mushrooms. That's why. All right, so the regret has a stench to it the next day. Mads wakes up with something grim chasing after her, and it's the memory of vague one at that of a fleshy kind of cool-aid man, assaulting her with his mouth. Now, Seedog and Daisy have to kind of patch things up.

Is this where they go up and have a little combo? Yeah, and they work things out pretty quickly. Yeah, he denies that his comment at the tip meeting wasn't about her, which is an insane denial because it was 1% of talking about her. So here's what's happening. I think, and you know, I don't want to be all uh jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams or whatever it is. But I think that Gary and, uh, or excuse me, Daisy and Cedog were probably already a thing, ah, which is why Daisy took so much of that.

The Santa Fe rules kind of thing going on here? Well, you know, I mean, they've got to inject all these shows with that kind of smut, you know, next thing, you know, we're going to have some sassy, heavily closeted DJ working on the next vessel. DJ JK, you are a king. And it makes me sad to say that because you're going to turn into even more of a monster with all this heat But you deserve you're amazing. All right, so yeah, they patch things up. I like I like that theory though because in You this is you know, I'm not giving anything away They played at the tail end of this episode the trailer where Colin and Daisy do in fact make out

Mm-hmm, so okay, I like that and they made out with the familiarity the gym wishes he had with Daisy. Ah, interesting. Like they've done it before. Like a Richard Kear flick. Did he not have the gerbil up his ass? It never was a thing. Well, he blamed Sylvester Stallone for starting that rumor because he was supposed to be in a semester Stallone movie and then he pulled out, backed out, and then Sylvester Stallone started telling everybody that he likes to put gerbels up his asshole. Such an odd thing that took root because it's just such a nonsensical thing, like who would derive pleasure from that?

I mean, it's first and foremost, it's animal abuse. But second, those nasty little paws, just scraping and crawling and trying to do everything. Recavig on your inner cavity. What kind of sexual deviancy is that? I mean, such a rare form. I don't think that's Richard Gear, but who knows? Imagine being the emergency room up. Yeah. She had to make the call.

That's uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the emergency room person's like, did you have a tiny little velociraptor in here? And Richard Gears like, what an insane question you just asked me. I loved you an officer in gentlemen. What was the one with Edward Norton? Oh, that's a good one. Primal fear.

Yes. Underrated film. Underrated. Little spin in the last five minutes of the film. Hell yeah. Should I give it away? No. Okay.

He's gay. No, he did it. Yeah. All right. Okay. He's gay. No, he did it. All right. So Gary says that if you have to go up against Daisy, you have a target on your back. So you just have to agree with her. That's such a gaslighting mama kind of shit. Like what are you doing with that sentence? Do you mean like to call it? Yeah. Do you mean to say that when she's angry with you, she is angry with you? What are you talking about? You have a target on your bad. She's trying to assassinate you. All right. So we talk about Gary and Mads with

Daisy and Gary and Mads and Lucky. Gary says the days you try to cock block him all the time. We cut back to the single time when it kind of happened. When days you told a girl to get back to work, what a bitch. All right, it's taken a long time to get here, but we are. Yep. It's time. Katelyn. Yep. Are you ready? I'm ready for the prefrag date. Meeting. All right, charter number four, six guests, Jim Bloom and Thal, AKA big Jim is a returning charter guest. And according to Glenn, they're best charter from last season. Jim did very well with his RV dealership selling a bunch of units

during the pandemic. He enjoys showing off his Bentley big SUVs, New Ferrari, and his mansion located in the great outdoors of Colorado near the mountains. Also, apparently, Daisy took a little ski vacay to Colorado at some point in between charters and hung out with them. Oh, okay. I got in my face. His girlfriend Veronica Morris is a registered nurse.

The two of them are accompanied by their friends Ken and Christina Good along with Rick and Marney Gruich. All of which were on the charter, on the charter last season as well. No dietary requirements. They won the guest want water sports to be prepped and ready. And for dinner, they'd like a traditional Sardinian dinner. Each morning they want to do a little yoga on the deck if they wake up early enough. Night two they want a seafood polusa dinner followed by talent show number two.

Yeah. They had one last season which prompts Gary to inform everyone that he will not be stripping again. He also apparently has no other talents according to him. 91 pots. Well done. You did that like a local news broadcaster. Now back to the studio. Gary says he will not be stripping again as he has no discernible talent. Now to the weather for some bullshit and accuracies. All right, so meanwhile, fun stuff with sea rats, Chase smells like what garbage and we get to call it in Daisy, they mend things and the threple is back on. Alex asks Mads if it's true love.

Alicia makes lasagna and preps for the next day. And Glenn hops into a comfy comfy bed And don't forget tolling took a huge shit. All right, so next day Oysters arrived Gary says oh my fivrup what Gary you're not gonna eat them okay get out of here. Let's get to the guests I have no idea who these people are I've never seen them before in my life. Did you feel the same way? I don't remember them at all. I talk about this show for a living. Yeah. Yeah. No memory. Right. All right. So like I talked about the familiarity

with these people is little, you know, little nuts. He's like, where's Glenn? It's time to sail. What's your name? Um, for a little, uh, son time snacking, we've got horse radish and, um, beef fillet sliders. Okay. How do you feel about that? Uh, I don't know.

It seems like something they'd pass around it, like a low-budge. People on a budget for a wedding, like when you're entering in. You say low-budge. Low-budge. Low-budge. Okay. Yeah, they buy them frozen at grocery store and then they heat them up. Oh, like a white castle?

Yeah, exactly. Throw a little horse radish on there. Yeah. I don't know. Not for that. You know, can I tell you something? Beef and horse radish is one of the most delicious things in my world. But people are too often not brave enough with the root. I want to feel the sting of the horse radish. I don't want it to taste like a

tepid mayonnaise, you know. Throw a little kick in there. Get my nostrils humming. All right, let's set sail. Glenn, we beep, bopped all up and down the coast. Oh yeah, did you go to Posatano? Loved it out there. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Oh hey, yeah, what are you guys up to? It was nice to see the calling and days you're still here.

Ba, ba, ba, ba. I love people that are nice to see the Colin and a day's your still here? I Love people that are unaware that someone else is in a panic Like have some self-awareness like I leave the man to his work The smoke coming out the rear of the vessel and Glenn clearly seems panic. I think the guy the guy Kotlin He rolled up on one of his horrors. I think he like wants to do it with it. Do it with him. Come on. Come on. Let me do it. I'll dig the hole. Hey Glenn, so Posatano, I've been to Posatano ton of you know, um. All right, sorry, my brain is not working tonight. Pat, what happens to act?

Oh, smoke starts coming out of the engine room. The boats on fire, man. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. So then they realized they should anchor immediately, you know. And then snacks are offered as smoke bellows through the rear of the boat. Yeah. And then I always love this because Daisy continues to be pretty evasive to the guests as

they're kind of confused about what's going on. There is, they're in the middle of the ocean with a boat on fire. And I was thinking, I bet this is how some of the crew members from the Titanic behaved, you know, to the guests. Excuse me, young man. Is everything all right? Yeah. Of course, nothing to see here.

Enjoy your Ambrosia Sal. Right, right, right. Next thing an hour later, we all know what happened. Right. You got Leo, you got Kate up there on the tippy top of that fucking front of the boat. It's 90 feet in the air. Right, right, right.

It's gonna come crashing down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking told them to enjoy their Ambrosia Sal. It's 90 feet in a year right right right it's gonna come crashing down. Yeah Fucking told them to enjoy their own Well, I know no, it's crazy because like everybody like kids are being thrown off the side into the cold waters It will surely kill them and people are like hey, um, do you know what boat stands for break out another thousand? Like dude fucking the Titanic is sinking right now He's like, you know why we haven't seen any stews in a while why man You know that vessel It's kind of like a spectrum of good and evil. James Cameron just did a magnificent job with that film.

He really did. It's such a great job. He really did. You know, and I'm tired of all these people always going like Oh all they had to do was swim till another boat picked him up like no no no no no No, the waters are too cold so then when they say that I go you know what you do you want to know how it was? Yeah, go to your local red lobster Yeah, and ask the staff if you can stick your arm in the lobster tank. Yeah

Yeah, and you'll know tell it all last five tank. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you'll know. Totally. You won't last five seconds. Oh, okay. So are you saying that the people who were in the waters after the thing? I think. Died because they were just getting chewed up by lobsters. No, no, no, it's cold. Oh, okay, yeah.

Yeah, we got to finish this show, but I'm, I'm, I'm, it's crazy that you said those all the things you just said. Yeah, I know. Okay, anyway, so Alicia, she's like, yeah, I've done this whole ice bath thing before. It's not fun. All right, Alicia, she figures a good work around for all those critiques of Glenn saying that there's too many delays in between courses. She's going to do family style genius.

People also say it's like it's just this, you know, and it's like well, you can boil anything down to that. Right. You know, everything's just this. Lord of the Rings is just the story of a little tiny man going to a lava. See, I did it. Put on Titanic. You'll watch it. Trust me. You'll watch it. Colin finds the issue with the boat. You see, there's oil leaking out of the part. Yeah. And it's that the C30 turbo charger. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, the duct tape didn't work.

But, you know, all right. So a couple of couple things about this and then once again, I can't believe this crew and you know I love this show and I and I love all the sea rats and I love Glenn and whatnot But the pure incompetence On display here. Okay, first off. They got to order apart the turbocharger, right? So they make you want 30 turbocharger and they find one in Amsterdam Amsterdam good job right. So they make it. C 130 turbo charger. And they find one in Amsterdam. Amsterdam. Good job, Captain Glenn, after your nine phone call. And then they're going to have a chip here. All right. Call me crazy. And if any C rat wants to correct me, couldn't you weld that turbo charger back together? Isn't it cheaper to just get a welder out

here? I think he has a fucking. Oh, there they're flying apart in from Amsterdam. Go get your local fucking, you know, the spare. Well, dirt to come in here. All right, that's part one. Part two, before you go ahead, and I'm getting ahead of myself here,

but we're almost done the episode, before you test whether or not this works, once said part is installed, and there could be fire, there could be an explosion. I got an idea. Why don't you get the paying gas off the fucking boat into that tender and then have a beach picnic while you test the boat?

Good point, I love that. Pure incompetence. Because yeah, what happens if you turn on, it was a C 135. That's right. The whole thing fucking blows up. I mean, the likes of which, yeah, it's

It's bad. There's blood There's bone We have no show That's right. You know what it means good point everybody's fucking dead. We don't have this show Except for Glenn Who lives Except for Glenn, who lives to continue killing. He was put on this Earth for a reason. That's correct.

You know, a lot of people think that disease and famine, mosquitoes, stuff like that are kind of divine mother guy like ways to kind of curb the effects that this monstrous species has on the planet. But there are things like Glenn that get dotted throughout the world as well. Yes. And they play their part. Hey, Dylan. Yeah, sorry.

Can we jump to dinner? Yeah, yeah. Let's go. I want to give a critique on your thoughts. I would love to. So Alicia has been getting criticized for her timing because how can you put out three plates of food? 20 minutes apart.

It's an impossibility. So her solution to this is to trough it. Ha, ha. Yeah, yeah. That's a pig noise. I think so. Yeah. I think people got that. You're telling me you could not taste that one was shocked that one was villain. I've been drinking white wine to celebrate my accomplishments earlier and then my taste buds were numb at that time. celebrate my accomplishments earlier and then my taste buds were numb at that point. So yeah, dinner is Sardinian. It's local octopus, frijola, or frigola with clams and shrimp, chicken with oregano, and it has his customary with a below deck meal, barata. Totally fine. And I kid with Alicia. I think she's doing below deck. I like eating

family meal. I think family meal is a very you know what why do we sit down to have dinner. It's not about the food it's about the people. Do you know there was a study out today that said they called CR codes you know when you just put up your camera. QR codes all on the QR codes. Restaurants are starting to get rid of them because they're, say it's taking away the true experience of eating fine dining. And I couldn't agree more.

Could not agree more. And it is about the food. Don't get me wrong. The food is important, but it really is just a bridge between people, between worlds, between cultures. And Alicia did not do that tonight. But it was good, it was fine. So always fucking cheese on tomatoes with these people.

It's just all right. All right, so dinner ends when we find out why the guests are so beloved, they go to sleep early. That's why. Alex has told to blade the teak because we've got yoga in the morning. Now, Alex is used to smaller boats and he doesn't really think it makes any sense to clean things. They're just going to get dirty again, which is, yeah, just fucking nuts, right?

Why would I, why would I, why would I wash my asshole? Was my no. And, and, and some people go, well, you don't have to put your hand up there. And I would argue, well, how's it going to get clean if you don't do that? All right. So Jim wakes up, says, it'd be a good time to sail. Jill out. You're not wealthy enough to afford the boat.

Please stop pretending like it's yours. That was too hard on the guy. He's a nice guy. Nice guy. Nice guy. Nice guys can be annoying too. Chase and Alex got a little feud going on, but that's for next episode.

Chase rats them out. Well, I mean, sometimes you gotta read people. I understand. First you go to him though. I would. So Chase leading the yoga was miraculous. I thought it was so fun. Such a great, great moment. And then the part arrives. We go sailing when the bad luck is out of the way for a monumental sale with a flag that is unveiled commemorating gym

and his balls with a conch shell over them he has to know about glenn they wouldn't go through the to these lengths it's just nuts alright well i'm sorry i'm sorry everybody don't apologize i think the audience had an amazing time don't you agree kaolin i know i had an amazing day ago that's producing what is that like that trying to be positive?

But you were doing it tongue in cheek you can't lie like that. It's so obvious that you were like they it was a tough episode I had a great time. Oh the audience had a great time. It's like what are you doing? All right, all right, so episode drops in two days our interview with Chase you guys are gonna really love it I was in a great mood for that one. Oh yeah, it was a great time. Oh, so fun. And then next week begins our journey, recapping season one, episode one,

a below deck OG. With Captain Lee, I'd forgotten that he was on that first season. And a girl named Adrian that apparently people despise. Can't wait to get into it. Can't wait to get into it. Join us then, Join us on Patreon. Go to YouTube, subscribe. I realize that being angry is probably not the greatest motivator to get people to do that, but we do need you to do that. So I love you very much.

I'm Dylan Sanger by Pat Say Goodbye. Later, dudes. Thank you. Hey Diane, holiday shopping? All done. Everyone's getting the new iPhone 15 from T-Mobile, and T-Mobile's covering the cost. Plus, I got four lines for 25 bucks a line per month. I gotta get to T-Mobile. Get four iPhone 15s on us with the eligible trade-in, where you switch to T-Mobile. Get four iPhone 15s on us with the eligible trade-in, where you switch to T-Mobile. Minimum of four lines for $25 per line per month without opaque discount using debit or bank account. Five dollars more per line without out-of-pay plus taxes and fees.

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