Another Below Deck Podcast - The Thing | Below Deck Down Under S4 E15

Episode Date: May 12, 2026

Dylan and Pat are back to break down air conditioning, sushi, war, Requiem for a Dream, smear campaigns, cuban sandwiches, Game of Thrones, movie theaters and more from Bravo's Below Deck Down UnderPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

Before dinner, I want to say good on Daisy. Ellie and Ben are working in the galley. She goes, hey, Joelle. Oh, my God. Come rub my shoulders for 10 minutes. This is diabolical. Maybe Daisy's the thing. Holy cow.

Hello, and welcome to another brand spanking episode of Bad TV. I'm Dylan. That is Pat. Permission to come aboard. Galen, do you have access to the temperature control? I do not. Oh, you got to keep that. out of his hands.

Yeah. Hey, I have the air conditioning right behind my back. You're sitting pretty over there and it's deflected off my back and goes around you. My back is frozen like hawth by the end of an episode. You're sitting pretty over there. It's painful for me. No, I'm freezing as well. But it's important to understand that this is a podcast studio.

It's very expensive equipment in here. We can't live in the terrarium that you want to exist in. It's nonsense. This has been explained so many times. I want to trade seats then. I would love to trade seats. I mean, it might throw off the juju a little bit, but let's treat seats. If that will keep this room to a modest temperature, let's please, fuck, change seats, okay?

Speaking of heat. Are you a lizard? Are you a lizard? Are you a lizard? Go to patreon.com slash another podcast network for Summerhouse in Rhode Island. So he shuts up. Will you put on the air conditioning, please, Kailen? Just but don't.

No, no, no. He's switching the show. He can't. No, I can't do it. Okay. Just but I don't want it so that my back, like, is a, like, seals will be scared of it because it's too cold. All right. This was an insane episode.

It kind of was an insane episode. Yeah. Barbie coming in hot. Hi, Barbie. Barbie friend of the show. Yeah. I told her, you should have been here all season. What the hell were they thinking with that Mikey character?

he was an absolute waste of space and air. Oh, I don't think Barbie would have lasted an entire season. I mean, Barbie may have, but the dynamic, I don't think. Here's the question. All Mikey did was annoy people. He wasn't fun at all. HOD, HOD. Dare I say he detracted from the enjoyment of the television program.

Oh, definitely, yeah. They're, like, but two is not on the show. But tool. Sure. She's not on the show But she doesn't detract from the show She takes a space up For someone that could add to the show

Kaelin, what'd you do? It's, it's, it's kind of, Now I'm getting, in terms of temp, I'm getting like, you know, those pumps that they use to blow up bouncy castles? Hey, Cleopatra, what do you need a big fucking fan over your head? It's a podcast, You can deal with it for 45 minutes.

I mean, what'd you do? But set it to 77 with a fan? I mean, it's, it's almost worse, I have to say. Said it's a 70. No, it's fine. Yeah, are you jumping into your pots right now? Well, kind of, I guess. Okay.

Balkan Biscuit continues to be amazing TV. The fact that humans are trapped on the boat with her, it just adds another element of danger. Yeah. You know what? I'd love that you brought that up like that because actually being on a boat with Ellie is a little bit like John Carpenter's The Thing. It's fucking horrifying.

Except you know where it is. My favorite part, yeah, my favorite part. Yeah, it's the fucking husky that's exposed. Skins exploded everywhere, but he's just the galley hand. So you know he's going to be in there. My favorite part was when Ellie goes, I'm so happy to have Barbie here. Everybody's so gossipy.

Okay, Ellie. Ellie's losing her mind. And I love Ellie. I think Ellie doesn't do well in situations like this. What? Like being around people? Being around people. Okay. Good luck. Okay. Yeah. I loved it. Yeah. I thought it was a great episode all over the place. Ben continues. Like, I've fallen in love with Ben. I understand. I've come around to him why fans love him. But maybe they love him because he's the lovable idiot. And I was going to use the word loser. Okay. But I think that's too harsh for him. Thank God you didn't use it. But to be a 45-year-old man with lots of issues, including... Can't roll a sushi roll to save your life.

I think that'd probably be the biggest problem. Trust issues, substance issues, drinking mainly. And, gee, that... I will say that... I think that move worked out for him at the tail end of this episode. I think so, yes. how I think he ends up in a guest cabin with Jenna later in the episode. Yeah, I believe he does.

But, you know, just a crazy episode. I'm going to give it, this was one of the best ones in the season, 14 knots. Yeah, I think it was a 14-knott episode as well. Damn near perfect score. Daisy versus Ellie is a gift that keeps on giving. Ellie is being, now, fan of the show, friend of the show. I don't know, multiple times. Not a fan of how Ellie is conducting yourself.

board uh bar stamps or whatever the fuck this thing's called okay um kind of pressure cooker insanity kind of stuff from ellie um when ben who hates daisy is siding with daisy you're in the wrong my dear absolutely forging pots let's kick it that fuck off we begin with shrimp stealing finger that's true last week you'll recall daisy ripped the remains. No. Ellie had ripped the rebates of the shrimp out of Daisy's hands because she wasn't dexterous enough. Ellie is a culinary professional, also known as somebody who was willing to scrub shit off the toilets, but is fine just doing food stuff, including dousing scrambled eggs with Dawn.

I'm going to do a meanwhile here. Yes, please. Meanwhile, uh, uh, during dinner. or service, one of the guests say, after taking a bite of Ben's food, I quote, it's actually good. Yeah. The use of the word actually would imply very low expectations. Oh, you know what?

Later on in this episode, we will see one of the guests say that she just got done with the Michelin crawl and that this food is superior. I, I, the sushi is. Maybe she went to a beer crawl at a tire shop? I'm not sure. I think that probably was it. I'm sorry, Michelin Quall,

did you drink with a bunch of fucking tire guys one afternoon? Is that what you call it? The sushi looks like it was sent through a tornado before it hits the plate. I mean, I don't know what the fuck we're talking about. But I think it was one of the guests, one of the guests at this dinner says, if I had to eat one food for the rest of my life,

it would be a potato. I think this is the same woman who last week said she was stuck in an elevator. And I think this woman just says shit like this and you've got to go, Eleanor, we don't have time for your nonsense tonight. What did you print that out on a card? But good to know. The other guests do not understand the assignment. Okay, she says there's one food I would eat for the rest of my life. It would be a potato.

Now, a lot of people would agree with that. Um, carbohydrates, you know, it can keep you going, right? Sure. Now, I don't think it's the right choice. But it's definitely not ice cream, which is one of those, but one of those bozos that, I mean, you would be fucking dead if all you ate was ice cream. Okay? Come on.

So, Ellie heads in to chat with Ben. Well, it's worth reporting before she does, Daisy walks off. and after quote unquote verbally attacking the Balkan Biscuit. And then the Balkan Biscuit reports that attack to Ben. Yes, the attack. The attack. Yes. The verbal attack.

Right. Daisy essentially stole her purse and hit her in the head. Well, yeah. She verbally attacked her. Right. Now, in order to take the temperature down, Ben realizes, in keeping with the theme of using extremely exaggerated language, who refers to their squabble as war.

Right. A war. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Now, we slip into these patterns, right, when we're conversing. You know, you and I compare a lot of things to war, but it's important to remember that war is a racket. But also, if you've read or seen All Quiet on the Western Front, there's a scene where German soldiers stabs another one in the throat with a bayonet

and then has to listen to him for 40 minutes cry for his mother. And he can't cry well because his throat is ripped to pieces. So that's war. That's war. Was that too much? No. No, I think it was a little bit too much. No, I think it's a great example.

So you're saying that that's not even close to two people fighting over. It's all about perspective, okay? They're fighting over shrimp and who dangled it on the lip of the cocktail thing. And to them, it is war, okay? but but I have to say this is deplorable behavior from Ellie. Now, I wouldn't, I wouldn't get upset about this if Ellie didn't do, like if Ellie just stayed consistent had Denzel energy the whole way through, it wouldn't be a problem.

But the meekness and the, but why? That's like, no, don't want to do that. That is yucky. So Jenna attempted to do recon. That's right. on what Ellie and Ben were talking about. Unfortunately, Batul, who's not on the show, was trying to talk to her. She goes, I don't know your name.

I'm trying to hear these people, okay? She goes, I know, but I want to tell you my father does not like gay people. It's like, okay, I got it. Yeah, I think we got that one. Got it. So, Daisy calls a department. Yeah, by the way, I was trying to get us an interview with Batul. Oh, really?

Yeah, and I was, hey, thanks for coming on the show. Yeah, thanks for coming on the show. Oh, all right. It was a nice meeting. Right. Wouldn't be funny if she just didn't exist? It was like a, she was like a Shutter Island character the entire season. Doesn't exist.

Not real. Wow. Who called those distances? We don't know. Okay. So, um, okay. So Daisy does something stupid here. She pulls her two stews together to kind of, uh, tell, tell them what's taken place in the galley, right?

You got to kind of keep the, a little bit of separation between what's going on between you. in Ellie and then your suits because you're just going to rile them up. Daisy's being cool mom. Oh, she's being cool mom. You can't be cool mom. When you're a boss, you can't be cool mom. Yeah, don't be cool mom. They're your employees.

They're not your friends. Yeah, next thing you know, you'll be smoking cigarettes with them. The next thing you know, you'll have track marks with them. Mm-hmm. You know? What's that one where they shoot into the sore? Is that Requiem? Oh, that movie?

Yeah. Jesus Christ. that's a one-timer. Yeah. I have not seen that movie twice. Who needs to see that movie twice? One of the producers sued me because my tour buses going by his mansion.

And he is like, if you guys keep doing that, I'm going to sue you. And then he sued me. And then I said, all right, let's work this out. I didn't think you were going to really sue me. And so we made up. And his daughter's birthday was around the corner. I said, I'm going to give you four tour buses for the day for your daughter and all their friends. Oh, wow.

And then he agreed to drop the lawsuit. That's amazing. And he produced Requiem for a dream. That's Hollywood. That's Hollywood. That's how you do it. Okay? You shake hands and you move on.

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Eddie has problems with Jenna in the jacuzzi with Jewel. I don't understand this. You know, at some point someone says that she's flirting with everybody on the boat. What? Are we talking about? She's not flirting with Jewel. Okay. She's upstairs.

She was mocking him last week. She said, happy birthday. and laughed in his face. She's not into Joelle, all right? This whole thing is getting very overblown. But what's happened, and it's, it's kind of Jen is fault, but not really her fault. As you see at the end, a little misstep on her part, sending a text, like, never get it caught. Like, you can't get it caught.

Not in writing. That's why deep throat had those meetings, the bottom of a parking lot. Great example. Great example. Thank you. Yeah. I like to think of us as a regular old Woodward and Bernstein. You know what I mean, Pat?

Me too. Anyway, yeah. So, but anyway, you know, she's got Benel jealous, jealous. He's acting like a jealous girl, juicebag, douchebag. Juice bag. And then you got Eddie doing the same thing. So naturally, everything that they see when she's talking to a guy now, it's driving him nuts.

Yeah, but calm down. So Ellie's pissed about the whole thing. And also, Joao has a pearl earring. It's important to know. Oh, good. What is that? So Eddie compliments Jenna on her hair. And is it?

me or does Jenna sound blacked out like all the time? Well, she told us about that. She had a speaking impediment. Yeah, she has a speaking impediment. But I don't know. Maybe it's that. Let me know in the comments if you also think Jen is blacked out all the time. Oh, yeah.

I don't think she is. But let me know if you think she is. Okay. So we head to bed. Daisy and Jawow have a chat about how shitty Ellie Ellie is. And then Ben, poor Ben is stuck between two true. horrifying women. Daisy on one hand, who can get to a 10 pretty quickly,

and Ellie, who is the thing. Now, when you put it like that, it's a pretty easy choice. Do you want your liver to turn into a fourth leg? No. Appease that one. You know my favorite character in that is Wilford Brimley? Yeah. They got him locked up in an outhouse.

Yeah. And he's like, now come on, let me out of here. We're not going to, Wilfred. You have diabetes. That poor bastard, I've said this on the podcast before. He was 49 when he's in cocood. Yeah, he's playing a rest home patient. Yeah, he's a hideous man.

Is he dead? Yeah, he's been dead for a while. Really? Yeah. Rest in peace. So get in the comments. Let us know your favorite Wilford Brimley memories. We had to bed.

I already mentioned that. We rise for the next day. And the two HODs meet on the sundek, but not before Jason gives a little tour of the crow's nest to one of the guests. He says, you know, I've driven bites way bigger than this. And I actually drive said boats into a fucking marina. I almost claimed dozens of lives, okay? But it wasn't my fault. It was because a bunch of women were up here fucking yapping.

I guess, oh, wow. I got the trash gift. He says, Jason was being kind of passive aggressive, I guess, because the nice charter guest goes, hey, Captain Jason, I hope I'm not bothering. He goes, no, no, no, no. I can't do the accent.

He says, no, there was a time where there was four cackling bitches up here. I couldn't hear my fucking self-think. And then I ran this entire ship into the goddamn deck. I almost killed a bunch of fucking people, man. But I got away with it because I'm good. look. Okay.

Thank you for the, thank you so much. No problem. Any time. So Batul is given a chance to dock the boat. She says that it's really tough to be a woman in this industry and that her father is intolerant. We got it. Let's get to Daisy and Ben.

Daisy understands or demonstrates a marvelous understanding of what Ellie is attempting to do. Now, it's obvious to us, but Daisy, she's got some street smarts because she's not seeing everything that Daisy, that Ellie's doing, but she has it all in front of her on the board. She's just like, this is, hey, your fucking stove rat is causing me a lot of problems, okay? Figure it the fuck out. Isn't it interesting how alliances can change in an instant on these vessels? Yeah. Yeah. even in real world.

Yeah. It's true. So everyone goes to medical school in Dublin. They all did that and the eggs do not have soap. Now the pancakes come out and one of the guests says, oh my God, it's a heart. Do you do that for me? No, that's not a heart.

It's an oblong mistake. And, yeah, Ben's like, oh, yeah, I did that for you. No, it looks like, I don't know. a bloated organ. But, sure. Yeah, it's hard.

I made it for you. So we are meeting a new stew today. Last time, um, um, she was on charter. Evidently she fought with her chief stew a lot. Um,

and she's a ride or die for Ellie. And well, Ellie's really excited because she's going to have her back no matter what. Ellie. Ellie. Nobody needs to have anybody's back. Okay. we're serving eggs with soap we're going to pizza shops and getting blacked out and waking up and doing it again

Ellie is deep in the trenches of the game of wars and it just does not exist I think what you're trying to say is the stakes are very sure yeah yeah now of course this is troubling as word uh goes about the boat uh it travels fast uh Alicia and Jenna they're troubled by this because they know now she's going to have a friend to go to war for her. And I had no idea that Barbie and the Balkan Biscuit had this kind of friendship. Me neither. But yeah, it's a little bit like having a campaign manager for student body president run and smear campaigns and all that.

And it's just seventh graders, you know. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Election. Yeah. I, um, my buddy Lance, I've told this story before in the eighth grade,

before we were, end of the year, before we were about to go to our freshman year, which is the new school, we were going to elect a president. So we had to vote. My buddy, Lance, I'm his campaign manager. And so we had a jock that was running. Yeah. Right? And we had a nerd.

Okay. And I'm like, okay. You go nerd every time. So, no, no, no. I'm like, Lance was right in the middle. I'm right in the middle. I'm kind of friends with all the groups. I'm like, okay, Lance, this is what we're going to do.

They're going to divide the vote. You're going to win. This is we're going to do. We're going to get the got the goth kids. Yeah. We're going to get all the weirdos. We're going to get the delinquents, the druggies. We got quite a coalition we're building here.

That is a big coalition. We're going to get the sluts. We're going to get. And we're going to get them because we're friends with all those people because we don't have judgment here. And you know what on election day? We fucking won. Yeah. It's a story of the power of the center.

The center is the siren song for the sluts and the weirdos and the drugies. Right? So Jenna is... My God, he ran us into the ground that freshman year. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He never ran for public, uh, well, school office again.

Public office ever again, yeah. He drives a, drives a truck now. Debt, just ballooned the debt. Yeah. It didn't go well. I don't think he wanted to finish his term. But you know, me as a campaign manager, I was the winner. Yeah.

I even wrote speeches for him. You're a speech writer. Yeah. Wow. Oh. Cocaine and all vending machines. Yeah. They're kidding.

You're like John Favreau. From Potsay of America. What? What? John Favro? Yeah, John Favro. Who's that? It's a guy who has the same name as John Favreau, but he's just an Obama speechwriter.

Oh, okay. And it's like, is nobody going to talk about this? This is crazy. He has the same name as the guy who directed Iron Man. Yeah. And who could forget chef. Oh, that's great. Can I tell you?

Cuban sandwiches don't move me. For that to be the climactic thing at the end of that movie, it's like... Oh, my God. We did all this beautiful food stuff, and now we're just making Cuban sandwiches. I had a dude show up here. This was like a year and a half ago.

He was so excited. We had a bunch of families over. He goes, I want to make everyone my famous Cuban sandwich. And I'm like, yeah, okay. He brought the, like, the pinini press, all that bullshit. Sure.

I took a bite out of this goddamn thing. You don't like pork. Not only that. whatever it was like there had to be a quart of mayonnaise or wherever the fuck ailioli oh i was like oh my god i'm like mm oh my god oh my god this is delicious can i have two more no patrick i didn't bring enough bread oh damn good for you for faking it so jenna is concerned she doesn't like kelly she doesn't matter having any allies she says birds of a feather flock together or whatever the fucking saying is and she says we don't need any more

on this boat. Jenna's got it. We want to see Jenna back on our TV. So we are, because think about like everything that you want in a C rat in her position to do for a season, she's done. We've got a love triangle. We've got wit. We've got feuds with other deckies. We've, competence.

You know, it's all there. Got to have her back on TV. So we're eventually introduced to Barbie. She is back. And evidently, I completely forgot that Barbie flipped out, melted down, started screaming at her clothes and stuff last season. I don't remember that scene. Isn't that crazy?

Completely forgot. Are we being gass lit by Bravo's television? Maybe they didn't show that scene in the original edit. I don't think they did. Kaelan, do you remember that scene? I don't. Did you watch it? I did not.

Okay. That's how we didn't see it. It's unbelievable. So Alicia's, you beat me on a technical couch. Alicia's gone fishing. And she's, uh, she's really, looking up, she's having a very good day because she's with these people and they're lovely, these lovely doctors. And more importantly, no Mikey. No Mikey. Now Poseidon,

Poseidon himself awards this nice group of doctors with a massive Wahoo and two baby tuna, which are too small and need to be thrown back. I don't understand. How do you catch, How is it legal to catch these little tiny? They grow to be these massive fish. They're like this big. It's tuna the size of football. You've got to throw that back. Come on.

Let's be better. Damn. Kaelin, you like fish? I love fish. Okay. So, Daisy sits down with Jenna for a reset after realizing the Balkan Biscuit has taken everyone to the dark side. And she wants some positive energy and some good vibes.

Yeah. So her and Jenna agree to have a, the new stew come in and start like fresh with new beginnings. And Daisy gets off to an amazing start. She texts Frazier to ask what he thinks of Barbie. And he said Barbie's a pain in the ass. And then Daisy immediately reports to Jay Wilde that, you know. You mean J-dub?

Yeah, J-dub, that Barbie's a pain in the ass. Yeah. So great start there with that positive. It's so funny because Daisy texts him and, God, I love Fraser. He's like, we cut back to the moment where she's, She's like, you're, you're acting like I'm this bitch. You're treating me like a bitch. You're a bitch.

That's why I'm treating you that way. But really quickly, though, there's a lot of pomp and circumstance. Oh, well, Daisy, Frazier texts her, not my favorite, stubborn, but a good worker. Daisy goes, he fucking hated her. I guess if you read between the tea leaves. I hope one day all of us can have the ability to manifest positive energy like that. Yeah, for sure. Way to go, Daisy.

It's a superpower. Now, Barbie hits the boat, and there's a lot of pomp and circumstance around Barbie's entry. I mean, we've got Mission Impossible shots of her riding in the tender. There's a lot of stuff here. And she sees Ellie almost first. The two of them absolutely flip out. Barbie asks Ellie if she's a sous chef. Ellie says yes

And it's important to set the record straight She is not She's a chef's assistant She's a chef's assistant Who two charters ago Almost killed paying guests Okay That soap did not look like it

If you Dawn I don't know There's something about the blue hue I feel like I could consume a fair bit of that And I'd be okay They wash penguins off and oil spills with it, okay? You probably, anyways, she's

a danger to everyone around her. Yeah, but those gay guys, they weren't penguins, Dylan. They kind of were. They walked like penguins. Okay. So, the hugs between Sioux-Chef Ellie and Barbie

and the Sue Chef, or no, Barbie and Jenna are very different hugs, okay? Jenna and Barbie do not get off to a good start. And this hug is ice cold. But we'll get there. So Ellie's walking around with an extremely smug look on her face. Like she's gained a rung in the game of oars.

Now, the thing about the game of oars is that, well, how would you describe the game of oars? The game of oars? Oh, well, I mean it's a, well, it's very similar, a game of Thrones. Right. Except, well, Game of Thrones had stakes, like life or death and whatnot.

Yeah. And this has none of that. Okay. Got it. People fighting over nothing. Yeah. Now, it's important to note that I think the message of Game of Thrones was that this conflict, this subterfuge, this deceit and this blood is all for not. Because there are bigger things in the universe than our foils.

or foibles, whatever. There are dragons and there are night zombies, right? So there's more important things out there, right? So you think the Game of Thrones, that thing with all those stakes, the point of it was that it means nothing. Now let's get to Game of War. Let's get into...

It's even lower. Yeah, it's even less than nothing. So, Allie, come on. Just be nice to people. It's crazy. Yeah, by the way, this is the point where Barbie just comes in hot. She hugs Jenna,

and Jenna tells us through the interview, Oh, Barbie's pretty. And then Barbie tells us, hey, Jenna, what's with that resting bitch face? Yeah. Wowza. Yeah. And then... It's not good.

It's just simply not good. No. Jenna gives Barbie a little debrief on the situation afoot with her and the men. And Barbie's new thing is being nice, and I think that she does really well because the, the, the first foot forward that Jenna puts is not a great one. She essentially says, welcome to the butt. Everybody's obsessed with me. It's an awkward thing to have to interact with.

Yeah. The guests arrive back with wares. Okay, they've got their one. They've got their tuna. And I thought Ben was literally going to say, turn around and get it out of here. Okay? We've got spring rolls that we're going to do already

and a steak that I've overcooked. I do not need the fish. Get it out of here. But to his credit, he breaks the fish down and he serves sushi that looks like it was made in and a sane asylum. I can't really speak right now. But we get a bunch of meanwhile before. This thing was the most, this point of the show,

this part of the show stuck out to me. This is where Ben approaches Jenna while she's at the bar. And I'm going to call Ben at this particular scene, bad move Ben. he goes up to her and he brings up that the Balkan Biscuit had told him that when the Balkan Biscuit was watching Jenna and Jowow in the the jacuzzi, they were all over each other in the hot tub. This is Ben saying that Ellie had told him this.

And he essentially kind of accuses her of doing it. He doesn't say, well, I don't think you did that. So he essentially says, you know, You're talking about bad move, Ben? Bad move, Ben. And I think at this point, I thought he was done. I was like, your chances would Jenna just died with those comments? You're essentially calling her a slut or something.

Right. Yeah. Bad move, Ben. Yeah. And then he goes back to the Balkan Biscuit, and he's like, hey, uh, you were telling the truth. Yeah. You're sure what you saw? Well, I mean, it's, it was dark, Ben.

Yeah. Oh, okay. In fact, I could have made the entire thing up. I was very sleep deprived. Oh, come on. I just called her a slut. I just called her a slam pig. I went up there, called her slam pig.

All right. We got that word from the other show. We recap. Yeah. So before dinner, I want to say good on Daisy. Ellie and Ben are working in the galley. She goes, hey, Joelle. Oh, my God.

Come rub my shoulders for 10 minutes. This is diabolical. Maybe Daisy's the thing. Holy cow. Wow. Now, Ellie is so pissed off that she shuts the door. This was crazy, too. We never see that door closed.

That door is never closed. Wow. That was crazy. So we get to dinner. Well, I want to ask you this still. What's your thoughts? I'm going to sound like a city slicker here. What's your thoughts on eating a fish you caught three hours earlier?

I don't know enough about fish, not a big fish guy. But, you know, it's often, it's been told to me often that you don't, treated fish is better than fish straight out of the ocean. Right. Okay. Because there's a little gristle and, you know, it's like the skin is not quite, the flesh doesn't want to be dead. It's still fighting a little bit.

You know? Speaking of fighting, because I would have been one of those charter guests at the table who had caught the fish. I'd be like, which fish is this? Was this the one that was bouncing around and we clubbed it in the head? to death? Yeah. Oh, or was it the one that we pulled in with the hook in its eyeball?

Yeah, this is the eyeball. The one we speared in the eyeball. Oh. So, you know how fish are dumb. It tried to eat the hook. It missed. It went through his eyeball. Then we dragged it around the ocean through its eyeball for about seven minutes.

And then it bounced on the deck and then we beat it with a club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. This is the circle of life, okay? This is how things are consumed. Okay. But I will say, you know, people talk about the brutality of nature. Let's say a gray white shark comes along. Wants this, wants this Wahoo.

All it does is it bites it. Now it's impaled. It's in a lot of pain. But it's going to be dead soon. What we've done is lance it through the eye and drag it through the ocean for almost 10 minutes. I think we're worse. But anyways, this is brutal stuff. This is how we eat animals.

You know, you've got to pay attention to it. So let's get to dinner from a. the world. First up, Japan, and that means mangled sushi, cut with a fish knife by Ellie. You know how, you know, it's a common trope, right? The sushi chefs, and you don't even touch a blade for seven years. You're working on the, where you're working on the rice. Ben just goes, hey, galley hand. Here, take that thing.

I don't know, fucking cut, whatever. Take this knife I just used to pry the meat off these bones and slice the sushi rolls. with it. Okay. This is better than that Michelin crawl. This is so good. Now, Ellie gives Daisy a little tip for plating for the second course. She says, we want the bone at 2 o'clock. Daisy says, oh, like, we've done the entire season.

Now, little snippy from Daisy, but I also think every bone thing they do is at 2 o'clock, and Ellie's in this kind of. manic contest with her. And Daisy's like, shut the fuck up. About 2 o'clock. Okay, I know. Leave it alone.

I think I said this before. Ellie has a, I'm going to use the word odd, but I mean something more unhealthy. An unhealthy obsession with Jawow at this point. Don't you think? I do. I agree.

Okay. Yeah, I completely agree with you. Yeah. I mean, I've called her the thing. It's horrifying. Yeah.

She saw J-Wal, aka J-Wow, aka J-dub. And I think the third episode, and she said, I want him to inseminate me. That's an intense, you know. Yeah. Sentiment. When Ellie loves, she loves hard. Yeah, maybe it's that. Yeah, I think that's it.

So let's get to the second course. It's a great dish. It's a brazed lampshank with curried garbanzo beans. It's daring to give Indian primaries, Indian food, you know. And he did it well. Now, it's important to note that in this dinner, wherein we went around the world, we went to two countries. Oh.

Went to Japan and then India. Now imagine somebody said they went around the world traveling. He said, where do you go? Japan, and then we went to India and we came home. San Asian. You didn't really. go around the world, did you? Well, technically we did.

We flew. Yeah, we went Japan and then we went east. We went east. And then back to New York. We were gone for three days. Okay. Twelve pots. Wow.

Let's... Meanwhile, in the galley, Daisy and the Balkan Biscuit continue to hate each other. And a couple minutes later, Balkan Biscuit sarcastically still seeing Jawal sitting at the table. She said, I want to thank you for toning down all that flirting with Daisy.

And Joelle says, we didn't. The door was closed. That is one of the most unbelievable burns I've heard in some time because it instantaneously renders Ellie helpless. We didn't tone it down. You shut the door. It's like she got hit with an adavikadarva. She couldn't even say anything.

She was like, oh, my God, I did shut the door. He said it with a tinge, certainly with snark, but a tinge of anger, too. And matter of factness. It was no splash 10 out of 10. So, Joow and Daisy head to bed, and this is where Joelle starts to, we'll get to later on in the episode when the sea rats eat massive amounts of pizza and then go out and drink rum in front of stray dogs. but Joao is doing the Ellie thing

he's doing the basic instinct or whatever the fatal attraction the press is very intense he tells Daisy that he wants to cuddle again he's doing this thing where he's talking to her Daisy please hold out

and do not do this don't do this also I stand by what my gut is telling me, which is Juala loves the cameras more than he would ever possibly like sleeping with Daisy. And this is all for him to come off looking like a good guy and also. Gives him another storyline. You've got to have like three storylines throughout the season. Yes.

That's how you do it. Okay. So we get to the next day. Ellie is happy that Barbie's on board because it's just a relief. Everyone has been so goddamn gossipy. And now she has a friend that she can just be real with. Ellie has told a lie. I think about every single person.

on this boat in the last 12 hours. So Ellie's in charge of eggs, careful. And Jenna is doing the shilob thing with Eddie, just spinning him back into the web. And Eddie is falling for it. I have to tell you the time that I, personal story, where I had a girl like Jenna, and she dumped me after about a month of us hooking up.

I mean, we're kind of dating. And she's like, you know, I just, I kind of don't want this. I, this is like a little too intense for me right now. I was like, I was upset for a couple days. And I was like, all right. And then I'd be, she had a key to my apartment. I'd be sleeping in my bed, ready to wake up at like nine in the morning.

And she'd hear my apartment door open. And then she'd just come in and like hang out, watch the hell are you doing here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we'd start hooking up again for like a couple more weeks. Yeah. And then she'd go away again. And then she'd come back and finally, I said, I'm not to know. I'm done with this.

We were dating a homeless woman. I think so. That's what was happening. Yeah. You know, I was in a subway today. It's a really ingenious magic trick that a zombie tried to pull off. He comes in, reaches into the trash can, finds an old cup. Oh, I, and then goes, can I get a water?

The woman goes, no, I just saw you breaching the trash can. It's not yours. Get out of here. And he scurried away. He screamed and then left. Okay. What a fucking amateur this cat is. Okay.

I had this down when I was 12. You go to a movie theater. Yeah. You, well, you go multiple kids. You take a popcorn thing out out of the trash when you first get there. Well, first off, you snuck into the movie, but that's all good.

That's a whole other story. You walk up to the concession stand. You said, I dropped my popcorn. And then they go, oh, sure. And then as they're going to refill, you go, I'm sorry, can I have a new container? And then they'll just give you a popcorn. You didn't pay for it?

Wow. Life hack. And that was back in the day. day when popcorn was affordable? Oh, I went to go see Michael yesterday with my two kids. Can I guess? Tell me what you got at concessions. I'll tell you what you paid.

One popcorn. Love this game. Two slushies. Okay, one popcorn, two slushies. Di-coke for dad. Okay. How big with the slushies? Regular.

Small. Okay. Sour Patch kids. One. They split them. That was at some point during the movie when they were starting to hack down. This isn't that bad. And then a mini pizza.

Oh, okay. Mini pizza. and tickets. I'm not counting the tickets. You got a factor and just give the total on everything. Okay. Popcorn. One popcorn, two slushies, gummy bears, and a pizza. I'm going to say, concessions were around $45.

The tickets were 18 each. Kids were probably 15. So I'm not good at math, but that's a $97 day. It was $120. Oh, Jesus Christ. Where'd you go? Noho that Noho West. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Ran into Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray. Yeah, which I thought he was, he looked like an elderly lesbian woman when I saw him from behind. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so nice. An old lesbian woman. That's not.

Because he had the, he had the, uh, he had the, uh, those shoes, the medical shoes on. I'm like, ooh. Yeah. Did you go up to him and say, hey, I just want to fly? You didn't? No. Okay. Anyway.

And how Quinn do it the movie? He danced his little ass off standing in the seats. I'll say this about Michael Jackson. I looked around the movie was sold out for the 340 show on a Sunday. Michael's legacy ain't going nowhere. No, he touched him kids, but people do not care. They don't care. It's unbelievable.

He was a pedophile. His music and his performance and him just as an icon, it transcends everything. All right. So Batul is going to be. be making the calls. Now the difficulty is she's not on the show, so I don't know that she's You know what, this didn't happen. Thank you. Now, these people

are so fucking nice. They loved the vacation. They're going to give it all the stars, but we have to get to Barbie and Ellie who have a chat about Jenna. Talk some smack about her. Oh, it's starting. Now, Ellie says, Joow and Jenna are the two biggest snakes. And Barbie says,

you know what she's going to do? I'm going to hook up with everyone just to have your back. Wow. That's friends. Barbie, your father is just recovering from breaking every bone in his body from that building he jumped off two years ago. Okay. Now we get into the tip, baby. I was going to say this is the difference between men and women. Barbie announcing that she's going to flirt with Eddie just to help her friend out.

A man wouldn't do this. It's not a dude thing. If a dude wants to get back at another dude, he doesn't flirt. So he breaks a bottle of beer over his own. No, he takes a shit in that dude's closet or something. Yeah, that's why we're more evolved. What were you going to say? Well, we are simple.

Hey, why'd you do that? I was mad at you. Oh, you didn't want to just flirt with my girlfriend? No, that's immature. No, that's why I took a shit on your loavers. It really stunk, man. I know, I was pretty pissed off. Excuse me to tip eating?

Tip eating! A little light, I got to say. Little light? Yeah, for such an incredible vacation, I would say. a little light. A couple charters back, we had 23,000 for four days. Yeah, but we've also had really good tips. Well, they were over tipping.

This is a little light. All right. Well, six-star service, no helmet. And these guests were lovely. Now, Eddie and Ben have a little chat. You go, what's going on here? What are we doing? Oh, yeah.

This is a good, good or bad move because now you've given each other information. Yeah. You're still at war. You still want or so. Honestly. you know what you bring up a very good point if i'm eddie and ben i go don't tell me anything i don't want to know i want a fair fight okay i don't want to have any brotherly love with you at all okay but that's not what happens eddie shares a little text with ben what did that text say it basically

said i miss uh hugging you and hanging out with you and uh it's it's i can't stop thinking about you something along that effect now i believe eddie thinks that text is going to squash Ben's chances. And I would have thought that myself. But I don't think you can deny the drunkenness that is Eddie. So. Yeah, he gets really drunk. He gets out there on the dance floor and it's just like,

do you have seven children and a pocket protector? I mean, what is going on with you, dude? All right. So we head out for a night on the town. At first, we have to head to our favorite spot, our favorite restaurant. Pizza train. We'll have three meat lovers and three Hawaiians.

Now, Jenna is really pissed off that Barbie and Eddie are chatting it up. Jenna, babe. You can't be mad at this. No. This is your modus operandi. Yeah. Okay. You can't get pissed off at Eddie for this.

All right. It's not okay. Now, we... And I love Jenna, but you kind of deserve this. Yeah, you do deserve it. And also, don't be worried about it. But let him do his thing. Barbie will be repulsed.

Okay? Watch him move his hips like a virgin. Okay? Let him drink the nine shots of fireball that are ordered. Okay. But this is where Joao and Daisy sit down and have a little chat. And Jewelow turns into the fatal attraction. Linne Tech, like I mentioned, he says like, you know, when we cuddled it,

meant the world to me. And Daisy's like, what the fuck are you talking about? How long have you been a sea rat? If we had a kid with each other, it wouldn't be in the world. What are you, what do you say? Calm down. I think she said, something's wrong. Do you need a cigarette or something?

Yeah, let me get you a cigarette. Now, Ben is playing the Jawow role, that being not good at breaking up with people. He goes over to Jen and he says, babe, I think we need to pour a bunch of ice in our bathtub. She says, what the fuck are you talking about? What did you just say? I think we need to pour a bunch of ice in our bathtub, baby. And then he gives a, he recites the text language, which is inaccurate. Yeah.

But the gist is there. But, you know, breaking up with a girl that you're not actually in a relationship with, I thought was a little silly on his part. Yeah. We're through. Yeah. And then if you, you can come in and get your dick pillow. take whatever assets you have and move on with your life.

And if you watch the trailer for next week, boy, shit goes sideways fast. Yeah, it turns out that Eddie will walk into a morning after situation in the guest cabin and we'll go on to call Ben a fucking prick. So we'll see what happens next week. Until then, go to patreon.com slash another podcast network for Summer House. The reunion is coming up. It's going to be fucking lit. And Rhode Island is fantastic.

We love you very much. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Later, dudes. Jaylen say goodbye. Bye.