Kill James Bond! - The Worst Charter Guests of All Time | Below Deck Down Under S1 E12

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

Nick and Dylan are back to walk Pat through an episode filled with stains, billboards, personal stories, the proletariat, sass, abuse of power and even more Below Deck Down Under.The full season of Be...low Deck Down Under recaps is ALREADY available only on our Patreon at https://Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkAlso available is our coverage of Below Deck Sailing and Love is Blind seasons 1 and 2 for both shows!Check out our merch!https://anothermerchstore.comWe also cover Bachelor Nation very week on Another Bachelor Podcasthttps://bit.ly/AnotherBachelorPodcast_YouTube

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This, to me, was so sad that this was an improvement. Hey, look at these dirty sheets. Should I change these dirty sheets? She calls Aisha down. It looks like a crime scene in a bed. And she's like, hey, what is this? guys this is uh another podcast network presents the patreon exclusive recap of peacocks bravos below deck day on under i'm dylan Saddle up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys. Pat is
Starting point is 00:00:47 over there behind my glasses. Great to be here. Permission to come on board. Public service announcement. Let me say it. Hang on a second. Can I do it before you do? I'm apologizing to Pat. There were two jokes I tried to say last episode
Starting point is 00:01:03 and they just stuck in my craw because I was met with silence. And Pat was just mad that we were going long tonight. And I didn't. They weren't like. And we fought. I felt like they were bad delivery, and they sounded like insults. I was trying to be like jibby-jabby. Like Cherie liking Beverly Hills.
Starting point is 00:01:20 I don't really think that was the impetus. I don't know if that was taken as serious. You know I don't listen to anybody. I don't even hear it. And also one time I don't know if that was taken as serious. You know I don't listen to anybody. I don't even hear it. And also one time I said you were the- That was an awkward moment. And also one time I said you were- It was, it was.
Starting point is 00:01:31 It was an awkward moment. Because we got like another line about it, and I kind of tried to like, I don't know. Not for me. I don't listen. Okay. I individually felt very weird about it. And then also when I said,
Starting point is 00:01:41 oh, well, you're the double the age of of dylan that was like a unnecessary shot across the bow i was just making fun of him for being old all the time he's not old and he's extremely handsome we're fine i just those were both like i felt why are you bringing this up because i had me personally i'm i'm just talking about my own vibe of the show i was like two great shows yeah and then from that point on, I was like, I got in my head. I'm like, I didn't mean those as insults. Nick, I didn't hear him. Dope, dope, dope, dope, dope, dope, dope. Dope, dope.
Starting point is 00:02:12 So here's what's going on tonight. We are running late. It is very late at night. We've recorded many hours of podcasts because we're grinding. We do not know Andrew Schultz, so please tell your friends and steal credit cards. And at some point, we'll stop complaining about the hours of podcasting because now it's set in stone. We have two nights, and we have three shows each night, and one hour should be allotted for each show,
Starting point is 00:02:35 and it should be three hours of recording time each night. Oh, no, he's dipping back into being fucking awkward again. I know. I wasn't listening. So, second public service announcement, or third at this point, Patrick has not watched the show. Because of our schedule. First off, let me apologize to listeners, because that's who I am.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Oh, no, that's who I owe the respect of my occupation to. I did not get a chance to watch the show. Yeah. And I'm sorry about that. I had a tough day. Yeah. And a'm sorry about that. I had a tough day. Yeah. And a busy schedule.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Yeah. And it will be not only rare, it will be... Like abortion. It'll be safe and rare. Safe and rare. And free? What's the other word? Legal? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Yeah. Anyway, I'm sorry. But Nick and Dylan thought it'd be funny if I get high. You tell me if that's uh unprofessional in me uh but i'm gonna hang in here and mix it up yeah so our our thought was um if dum dum didn't uh get the chance i wasn't that aggressive about it i actually understand this quick turnaround yes this was on thursday this was a tough week we had an important meeting on thursday yeah explain it away for me. They're alcohol moguls.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Cut it. We had a two-hour meeting that Pat could have used to watch Below Deck. And dare I say, maybe spend a little time with Ellie. Yeah. But this week, legal, safe, rare. We did not have those two hours for pat so pat has not seen the show but what we were thinking was well let's just get him let's get him kooky let's just get him kooky right on chalkies and let's get through this episode together brothers and ours 50 of that
Starting point is 00:04:18 proposition has already been accomplished i am flying and we're going to explain to you what you miss. And honestly, you're going to be able to fill in a lot of the blanks because this show, as we've talked about, is paint by numbers. It's paint by numbers and it's bad, but that doesn't mean that this episode is going to be bad because brothers in arms, here we go. Pat, why don't you give us your thoughts and thoughts? Great. So, Pat, why don't you give us your thoughts and thoughts? All right, great. So, just based on your enthusiasm, Dylan, you were talking about it earlier. I guess you were pretty excited about talking about the episode. And you were like, hey, just focus on... Oh, he's flying.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Check it out. Focus on Benny and Jamie. Yeah. Right? Right. I said, if you can't watch the show, just go to the Benny and Jamie parts. Yeah, you seem pretty enthused about that. It's pretty fire. Yeah. Right? Right. I said, if you can't watch the show, just go to the Benny and Jamie parts. Yeah. You seem pretty enthused about that.
Starting point is 00:05:08 It's pretty fire. Yeah. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Should I watch the episode? No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Zero knots. Nick? Can I propose something? Yep. Next week, I don't watch our HOBH. we're not letting you get in. You guys explain it to me.
Starting point is 00:05:24 No, I'm just kidding. kidding i mean let's talk about it that should be our week off if anybody needs a week off like really needs like guys i need to take a mental health week just don't watch any of the shows come in we'll record well that's the whole thing about precedent it has been set by the way i can't wait for the the patreon exodus that happens it won't be that bad but there will definitely be some comments like pat didn't even watch the show i love that level of thinking pat's like all these people signed up to hear me listen to recap the show and one episode i did not
Starting point is 00:06:01 i was in studio but i didn't watch it. Now they're all going to leave. People are always trying to find a reason to get out of paying five bucks next. Most people forget they are paying the $5. I hope they do. Be like that and don't be so poor. We put out six episodes a week. If you're not happy, get the fuck out of here. Honestly, leave.
Starting point is 00:06:21 90 pot. So last we left off, Ben E. had lifted the jet ski with spike jones or whatever he calls himself still aboard the jet ski and it's just completely dangerous uh jamie tells hot captain um and usually he would be the guy to go to but as we know too well one hot captain is caligula and might still well want his evening with Benny. And two, he pays no mind to danger. I mean, this man ran a yacht through an airport. We've seen the footage.
Starting point is 00:06:53 He's like, oh, he put Culver in danger. I like the coat of his jib. Maybe we keep him on a little bit longer. Full throttle. And also, we often talk about the shitty cliffhangers we're left on. We talk about tongue-in-cheek. We have many names for it. The twists.
Starting point is 00:07:11 But in this respect, I was left wondering what was going to happen to Benny. But now I'm pissed because they've done it to us two times in a row, and I'm certain he stays. And, Pat, what are your thoughts? Well, we're talking about how... The cliffhanger where Jamie was talking to Hot Captain where he said, let's fire this asshole.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Yeah, I like it. So we don't get to find out if Benny gets fired? No, we do not. Captain, Hot Captain, says he's going to do more reconnaissance. He wants to hear Benny's side of the story I thought it was very insulting
Starting point is 00:07:46 To say your What do you call that What do you call Slam the brakes down on that Because I know exactly what you're talking about I just want to know the word I'm looking for The department head Your department head says
Starting point is 00:08:02 I can't work with this guy he's gone And Captain says straight to his face there's two sides to every story yeah yeah boy that's not it's very insulting and he does it multiple times throughout the episode um i forgot who we had on board at a at a certain point and then someone from ridgemont high says uh he's whipping up some biscuits dude southern breakfast it's gonna be nice um i was like who the fuck is that these are the worst these are not the worst people ever because like we've actually done that uh title for below deck three times oh worst worst guest ever worst charter guest ever hilarious
Starting point is 00:08:35 every time i didn't know if it was a bit by you no no no definitely not just retarded queen of versailles versailles was the first time erica rose, and Chuck were the second time. Would you have a call with Sandra today? No. Me and Sandra share a passion for APN. Check out the fat cat. Look at him. He's got his fucking feet up. I mean, look at him.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Look at how he's up. So Jamie and Hot Cap agree that they need to have a chat, and Hot Cap says some shit about carrying shit with you. And Benny is a dangerous little piece of shit who slaughtered his parents. He should be fired and jailed. Pat, can I get a meanwhile? Meanwhile? Magda is doing better, evidently. She's asking about
Starting point is 00:09:11 what the stains are in the beds. I guess when you set a bar that low, you can really fucking impress some people. This, to me, was so sad that this was an improvement. Hey, look at these dirty sheets. Should I change these dirty sheets should i change these dirty sheets she calls asia down it looks like a crime scene and she's like hey what is this and asia's
Starting point is 00:09:34 like i am so proud of her because she she would have just put the duvet over that in weeks past i really like this because i feel like the listener is right in front of me we've already cultivated a people with our same sense of humor, but it's literally like we're talking to them like they haven't seen the episode. So Magda is in a room, and remember those self-tanning on that $8,000 couch? This was on just sheets, but Magda fucking radios Asia, and she's like, should I change these? Is that fucking?
Starting point is 00:10:04 I thought when uh were saying they were stains i thought that uh was cum and we're not gonna say that word anymore we both yeah sorry uh so it was just spray tan on the beds yeah breakfast hits the table i got a personal story i gotta add to the show no you said we were gonna be 35 minutes so no personal story absolutely most uncomfortable moment of my life. So I lived in this shitty apartment before I came to this beautiful neighborhood next to a freeway and bought a home, you know?
Starting point is 00:10:33 You made it. Dude. Winner. Winner. I think I can hear the freeway from here. Anyway, my last night spent in that shitty apartment with my future wife, Cherie, we said, how about one last time?
Starting point is 00:10:47 And we had amazing sex. And then the family showed up the next day to move us over to this beautiful, sprawling property next door freeway. And my father-in-law, Ruben, is helping carrying in the bed. We hadn't stripped down the sheets. We plopped the bed down in the living room of our new home and Sheree's underwear fell
Starting point is 00:11:13 on the floor in front of my father-in-law. Pretty most embarrassing moment. Your wife wears underwear in bed. I don't think there's anything that was proven there. They're in the sheets, you know? Yeah. What did you say?
Starting point is 00:11:29 She was really hot. She said, you know, Ruben, I can explain that. Your stepdaughter said, my pussy is super hot. I got to take these underwears off. But we didn't fuck or nothing. If it's any consolation i i intend to keep your bloodline uh if i was wondering if there was going to be a large amount of bodily fluid on well that's what triggered the story uh because i'm sure the underwear the way it was uh it fell
Starting point is 00:11:57 to the floor and made a loud uh thud ah she shit her pants no okay so we gotta move on um two i genuinely don't know what that means yeah me neither so ben fuck come on benny fucked up again jerked off on her panties when she was gone clean up can we stop you use the panties for cleanup so benny fucked up again and left the jacuzzi in ruins and we're're still in a meanwhile here. Breakfast hits the table in the form of another large format thing that the guests have to harvest themselves. It's a giant wheel of sausage. So, and,
Starting point is 00:12:33 and, and that's cool and whatnot. I understand that it's romantic, but like it's only romantic to in very, very rare contexts outside of Philadelphia in Philadelphiaadelphia where people say wooder and stuff you see a giant roll of sausage people start salivating and singing songs um but anywhere else it's just like oh that's a shit ton of fucking tubed meat not quite anywhere else great germany as i think i've clarified i am from wisconsin right have i
Starting point is 00:13:05 mentioned that but i saw this and i was salivating of course i was like this is a giant piece of meat that is presented like a cinnamon roll right breakfast honestly i've never seen everything i've ever said about ryan any anything dylan's ever said about r Anything Dylan's ever said about Ryan I take back What a meal I want that sausage Someone deliver that to me No you can get that somewhere I used to
Starting point is 00:13:31 My grandma always used to just Boil a nice ring of bologna And then I'd dip it in ketchup And eat that ring of bologna Okay So Ryan and Cap are really hitting it off Over wet eggs And this gives us an opportunity To learn a little bit about how Ryan,
Starting point is 00:13:48 a piece of shit adult, was also a piece of shit kid. He was a schmoozer and he learned that, quote, good looks and charm can often save the day. He has also learned that they don't last forever. Well, no, not quite yet, because he still thinks that that is what's saving him. And it doesn't, it makes perfect sense that he and Magda are such fast friends, because they both think that they're tens. And more importantly, they both think that it's working, whatever it is.
Starting point is 00:14:16 The sad thing, though, they're both delusional, but Magda, because of her measurements, she's closer to actually living in reality. What are you talking about? How far away her eyes are from one another? What are you talking about? Her teeth are bad too. What measurements are you talking about? She is tall and she has fake boobs probably a little bit.
Starting point is 00:14:38 I thought you were talking about how far her eyes were. She can still use her looks, mediocre as they may be, to acquire what she wants. If Ryan is still thinking he's skating through life because he's cute, he's fucking up real bad. He's about to get fired off below deck and not have anybody like him on social media, which is the whole point of coming on the show. And we find out just how delusional he is when Hot Captain says, you know, Ryan's doing everything that he can to curry favor. But I'm going to get this fucking rat off the boat the second I fucking can. It was a great moment where Ryan's bringing cap breakfast, kind of like Rachel and Lee.
Starting point is 00:15:16 And they're kind of schmoozing a little bit. And Ryan's like, see, I was a little bit of a dick last week. But good looks and a little charm will get you anywhere in life. Cut to Captain Jason going, hey, do you guys have any fucking chefs? We'll even take the meanest, shittiest one you've ever had if you have him available. I want to say, hey, hold on.
Starting point is 00:15:36 This was episode 12, right, that I didn't watch? Yeah. There's like four more episodes left. He's losing. Hot Captain better fucking fire this bastard. Ryan's not going anywhere. Oh, boy. Meanwhile. Meanwhile. left he's losing hot captain better fucking fire this bastard it's not going anywhere oh boy meanwhile meanwhile jamie shit talks benny to brit hot captain says i know you guys are paying
Starting point is 00:15:53 sixty thousand dollars a day to the guests but we've got shoots and ladders so no worries the board game yeah it's raining outside so hot cap goes hey guys i know it's just piss poor weather but the good news is we've got a ton of board games in there. We've got Scrabble, and I know it's ruined your vacation, but, hey, turn that frown upside down and start getting some triple word boosters, huh? And also, you guys haven't seen this fucking Scrabble board. It looks like the board from Jumanji.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Yeah, it's a really, really nice Scrabble board. This thing was incredible. It was, like, six inches thick. It had, like, these drawers. You would pull out the letters for each individual player it was honestly very ornate it was beautiful it's the primo scrabble board if even if the weather was nice i would be like hey minions bring that scrabble board out to the aft deck as i shit on the bow so uh we then get to the meeting between benny and jamie and safe to say it does
Starting point is 00:16:48 not go well what's oh would you mind pulling up 9 45 what sets this up because captain hot stuff is supposed to be doing an internal investigation so jamie pulls a uh would you mind i gotta pee again yeah yeah it's the adderall i don't know if you felt that, but it'll make, like, I'll stand there feeling like I have, and it's also dead, actually, too. I'll stand there at the toilet with, like, a feeling I have to pee, but it's, like, enlarge my prostate, and I'll just stand there like I'm fucking. Takes you a minute. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:21 A minute. It'll be 45 minutes of just me feeling I have to pee so then i go back to bed and my god i have to be i should go get up again it was when they switched me to the xr my doctor didn't even consult me sorry by that you mean the generic extended release always been on generic but yeah they switched the xr which is supposed to be better everybody raised about i should peace so i'm ready when we come back uh yeah go ahead just another file that away is another exhibit and nick can't control his bodily functions. Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to him about that.
Starting point is 00:17:48 I think, you know, when I wrangled in this sodium intake I was doing, my tummy felt so much better. I think that might be part of the problem with him. Do you think he's eating too much salt? Yep. And that's why he shits constantly? Constantly. So let me set this up really quickly.
Starting point is 00:18:06 So Jamie speaks to Hot Captain. Hot Captain says, I'll talk to the three. Don't worry about it. Now, Jamie is an idiot, though. So he says, you know what? Fuck that. I know we just did this whole HR thing, but I am going to pull a wild card out of my hat here.
Starting point is 00:18:22 Is he going to double back? I'm going to double back. I'm just going to have a simple one-on-one conversation with Benny. It's going to go great. Kenny. Yo. What's up, brother? It's a quick chat, later. Jamie. Yo. What's up, brother? It's a quick chat, mate. I've already had a chat with the captain.
Starting point is 00:18:49 What's up, man? He kind of wants a meeting, but I'm going to not have it. If we can get along and understand I'll be trying to get along. Will you listen to me afterwards? Mate, this is what I'm talking about. I'm trying to talk to you. It's crazy. You talk at me. I'm talking to you. And from day one,
Starting point is 00:19:04 from day one, you try to lead me by intimidation. Can I finish my conversation? I've called the meeting. Please stop trying to lead me by intimidation. I'm not intimidated by you. Definitely not intimidation. I can't take it anymore. I will not be disrespected anymore.
Starting point is 00:19:20 And you will take your foot off my head. Do you understand? Isn't that insane? Sad you missed the episode, huh? I mean, this is one good scene, but there's 48 minutes wrapped around that one minute thing. It was all fire. It was like
Starting point is 00:19:37 47 minutes of that. At what point can you physically assault this kid? I... You didn't say it. It's right there. He's got his foot on him. But that's what Benny wants.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Look at how you're talking to me. Look at how you're talking to me. You said, do you understand me to your boss, you little piece of shit? Now, Hot Captain has a quick chat with Jamie once again and deflects. Show him the footage or something. Tell Hot Captain exactly what the little murderer said. It's very easy
Starting point is 00:20:12 to get this kid fired. I don't understand why he cannot do it. Go ahead, Nick. No, I would love to hear your thoughts. Well, Hot Captain has affinity for Benny because he sucks up to Hot Captain. Hot Captain also sees a loser. With Jamie, Jamie is someone who called Hot Captain out
Starting point is 00:20:32 on how quickly he was moving the boat out of the docks. And that's how simple we are as human beings. That's how we work out things. It's a black and white cookie. It's pretty gross. Yeah, Benny's a douchebag. He should be fired. Incredible assessment from Pat. This is a black and white cookie. It's pretty gross. Yeah, Benny's a douchebag. He should be fired. Incredible assessment from Pat.
Starting point is 00:20:47 This is a black and white situation. Benny needs to be fired. It's a black and white cookie. Captain Jason looks at fucking Benny as his shitty son, whereas Jamie is a guy who challenges him in his hotness. Yes. So, yeah. But I was really pissed at Jamieie or captain in this moment because i
Starting point is 00:21:05 oscillate between between him being good captain bad captain right i now think he's good captain but in this moment i was mad at him because it was like bring in the other members of the deck team they would be able to inform you whether or not that is the case but what does captain do what i wanted him to do but I'm getting ahead of myself. I want to put this out there, and I won't talk a lot because obviously I didn't watch the episode. I am thinking about going back to school to get my law degree. Don't do that. My thing, I'll have billboards on the ocean.
Starting point is 00:21:36 Were you yelled at work today for all the boats drive by? I'll be better than Sweet James. I will be worth like $3 billion. I'll sue all the boats. Couple logistical issues. I love it. You could put that actually anywhere in the US. Oh, dude, I'll get some buoys.
Starting point is 00:21:56 How are you going to? Dylan would have called. How are you going to get the billboards in the ocean? Buoys. Buoys. Yep. Go up 48 feet with a piece of steel and it says call patty were you insulted at work yeah on a boat love that call me and then i'll put i'll even
Starting point is 00:22:16 lie i'll be like uh we made settle for over uh 14 billion dollars last year so back to the fun oh no i i'm still working on the billboard it would be a boss in a suit with his arms full looking down on you or looking down on someone and then not looking at him would be someone in a uh drug rug uh and they'd they'd be going like and they'd be pointing at their boss while talking to another co-worker in a drug rug i I like it. Yeah. Drug rug. Were you yelled at work today? So back to the fun. Britt and Culver have a chat about being homeless. Have you ever heard of a drug rug?
Starting point is 00:22:51 I'm going to go fucking crazy on you. Do you know what it is? I'm going to lose my mind. You know what it is. What do you say? Oh, I have a question. Who gives a fuck what it is? It's very.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Who cares what the fuck a drug rug is? Stop talking and let me get through the episode. It's very important to the concept of the billboard we just discussed. It can't be because the billboard's not important. So how could an element of this unimportant billboard be important? Now, Dylan, I asked if we could... Do we have any artists in our listenership? I would love to see this billboard name explained so I could really show Dylan and Pat my vision.
Starting point is 00:23:27 These guests are incredible. Get it cleaned, Al. They're just so happy to have a nice gravel board and some drinks. And Aisha nails it describing the environment that she is in currently. It is an upscale nursing home. They are not rowdy. They are just sitting around waiting to die. You have to clean bedpans in nursing homes, though,
Starting point is 00:23:49 so be careful what you wish for. And the Scrabble board's from Walmart. Well, it looks like an Etsy Scrabble board, but I'm sure it's just... I'm saying at a nursing home. Oh, right, right, right. Exactly. It's not this fucking wood... Beautiful Scrabble board.
Starting point is 00:24:03 This was carved out of one piece of oak uh so meanwhile meanwhile to me does not like christmas because it was summer when she was christmasing magda says bitches and wants to decorate the table with tampons and she proves to everyone that you can be hardworking and a model at the same time shut the fuck up okay uh let's get to the chat we've been waiting for captain says he's going to gather him benny and asia for a meeting and i hate the language he uses here this is what nick was talking about early on in the episode he tells jamie we're gonna really get to the bottom of this we're gonna see what's really going on and if i was jamie i'd be like fuck you dude i'm the bosun i'm gonna say you're the ceo i'm a director i am in a position
Starting point is 00:24:54 of hierarchical power i'm telling you what's going on please stop imbuing and implying that i am a liar with your speak. It's fucked up. Why is Kermit involved in the meeting? Great question. I've never seen that before on Below Deck. Captain Jason thought he might have to fire Benny if he flares up within the meeting, so he wanted a witness that was not part of the department. He said that.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Interesting. Okay. He said he wanted a witness within this type of meeting. I mean, the stakes were through the roof. It was a great episode of Below Deck. So Captain says, kind of flaming your boast into his face, we covered that. Benny, Ryan, and Magda, these people are fucking awful. Benny gets pulled up there and he says,
Starting point is 00:25:43 every time, um, Jamie says, I'm confused in my notes, but I don't think we're at the meeting yet. But Benny says, every time you say, do your job, you're fucking up.
Starting point is 00:25:56 I need you to get better. You've left five things undone off your list. He's berating and intimidating me. And he says that in the meeting with captain and jamie he goes you're using intimidation right and he continues to use this intimidation line so and then captain jason then talks to the other deck team members he actually asks about the intimidation or are you treating all the deck hands the same and benny's a little bitch who can't handle it. Let's get to dinner, but before we do,
Starting point is 00:26:30 is what Captain Jason was asking. I wasn't saying Benny is a bitch who can't. Joins Jamie in the mess. Says, what's up, bitch? Like the fun Kermit that she is. And Jamie says, I don't like that with a mouth full of food. And I was like, oh, I forgot. I fucking hate Jamie too too i've been distracted
Starting point is 00:26:46 because jamie has had to deal with this insolent little weasel and i've sympathized with jamie but jamie sucks pat this this is a very important interstitial 19 second scene yes uh it was just after the uncomfortable meeting where jamie didn't feel like he was backed up by asia or captain jason when he was trying to fire benny so he's feeling pretty down about himself within the galley and he's eating and uh asia comes in just really happy she's like what's up bitch or whatever kermit says yeah and he goes i don't like that and it was like a callback to him they showed when bertini called a bitch they even showed it and he had the hat on he's like don't call me a bitch he does not like being called a bitch,
Starting point is 00:27:25 but it also shows that he's not a fun guy to work with. Well, and also, you know, paradoxically, that does make you a bitch. Great point, Dylan. So Culver goes up and has a chat with Captain. That's why I got so excited. Why is he going up there? I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:27:44 That was a dumb question. Well, he goes up to ask for a little karaoke machine, I believe. But here is when Captain Jason has his first chat with Culver. And I don't understand this. I'm going to turn into Gran Torino here. But I don't get this you have to speak to different employees differently and i understand that if you're let's say let's say you're the dallas cowboys and you've got to manage some egos we're talking about
Starting point is 00:28:21 multi-million dollar athletes at the top of their their level then i understand oh you got to find a way to manage valuable pieces that you don't want to lose but in what world do you need to change your cadence with benny just shut the fuck up if i tell you to do something do it. Jamie is not being intimidating. He's not being abusive. But hot Captain Jason seems to, for some reason, think, oh, we've got to kind of modulate here depending on the person. It's fucking crazy. Theory.
Starting point is 00:28:57 TFC, kind of TFC, not TFC. Captain Jason, when he said that, he agreed with, like, like oh maybe you have to massage benny differently because he's such a bitch uh maybe he was goaded into saying that because both brittini and culver when questioned by hot captain jason both cited maybe you have to handle benny differently and i think they both told hot captain jason that because they are fans of benny but they wanted him to know that jamie kind of a hard ass we don't like him but he's not really the problem benny can't take direction and so then hot captain jason was golden and also saying the same party line maybe we have to handle benny differently have we ever seen uh an internal investigation
Starting point is 00:29:42 to this uh gravity before on these boats? He's really bringing in a lot of different... That was pretty big. Jason is bringing in all of the different elements into this thing. He's pulling different people up to the crow's nest. This is the fault
Starting point is 00:30:00 in interviewing the proletariat about a person that is above them in the pecking order the proletariat they're sea rats they'll band together and they'll cut a man down but i don't understand this because bertini has reasons aplenty to be pissed off at benny he informed the guests of an opportunity they did not know they had so that she would be subjected to late night fishing. Why stick up for Benny?
Starting point is 00:30:29 Why tell hot captain Jason that Jamie is a little bit, you know, rough around the edges because they're weak sea rats. They are the proletariat. They will band together to try to take down the SAR. Dylan, there's a reason the proletariat stays. The proletariat is because they fail to see opportunity. She could have cut her coworkers throat and rised up the ladder, but hence she will stay where she is,
Starting point is 00:30:52 being savaged by Culver in her van and left to die in the desert. 100%, and the thing about the proletariat that gives the proletariat power is that there are masses of them. But right now, we only have three little measly sea rats. You are not powerful enough to pull this kind of unifying bullshit. Let's get to Christmas. Is this Game of Thrones?
Starting point is 00:31:09 Ryan Culver is like, I will work harder. It's Animal Farm. Ryan's dad loved Christmas. Add that to the list of unremarkable fucking things about your father and your fucking family. So tonight he's going to be a good boy and he's going to make the easiest fucking food on planet Earth. Carrots, mashed
Starting point is 00:31:26 potatoes, ham, and turkey. This is fucking business class fare. It's disgusting. Christmas, Christmas. They were doing a Christmas party. Culver comes out and we're the guests in the middle of the summer. We've never said this, I don't think. He mentioned it. Australia, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:41 They celebrate Christmas in July. So Culver comes out of Santa. He's very, very fun. He goes up to the crow's nest and goes, Oh, Jason, you've got quite a sleigh here. And then he puts a gag in Asha's mouth and walks her around like a BDSM simp. Gimp. No, well, it's a gimp, but it's also called... There's a dominant...
Starting point is 00:32:06 There's a... A sub? A sub. A sub. Yeah, it was very kinky. So anything... But that wasn't Culver. That was Santa.
Starting point is 00:32:14 You gotta watch the episode again. And that was an Asha. That was Rudolph. That's funny. Have you not been paying attention? So Asha tells Magda after dinner to get some rest and not talk on the phone and the model gets rather upset about this and she lets a former fellow rat know she goes to ryan and uh voices a little bit of shit talking now asia is a little sensible she's
Starting point is 00:32:39 the voice of reason surrounding this whole benny thing uh dead horse but she tells jamie when your boss tells you to do something, there is seldom a reason for you to interpret it as abuse. And Benny, the little moccasin, tells Culver that he was blown away by the chat that he had with Captain Jamie and Aisha, or Captain Jason, Jamie, and Aisha with Kentog.
Starting point is 00:32:58 And he's just wondering why he and Jamie couldn't have just had a one-on-one. I mean, this kid sucks. So Magda's on the phone. Who gives a fuck? Let's get to the next day. Next day.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I really want to talk about this, actually. This is the only time I've ever been in Magda's corner. Oh, yeah, I was too. Aisha gave her a half hour extra off. She was like, oh, you get off at 9 30 instead of 10 p.m but that's that half hour is for sleep not for talking to your boyfriend and then asia like got pissed when she walked in and made do not tell me i am the proletariat my free time is my free time i will mutiny with my other losers if you tell me I can't talk to my boyfriend and FaceTime. It's like if your boss
Starting point is 00:33:46 let you go a half an hour early and then tailed you home and was like, hey, you're supposed to be resting. Oh, you got McDonald's when you got off? That's not very good for brain function, is it? You should be having a salad. McDonald's is fucking Polina. Alright, so Magda is
Starting point is 00:34:01 declining. Who gives a fuck? Polina? Nope. Helena? Nope. Officer is going to drive the tender, and he's going to drive the tender so that if Benny is going to be fired, Captain Jason can offer him a reminder that he was part of the team. I did think that was very magnanimous of him. It doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:34:23 You were part of the team right before I fucking canned you. So Brittany tells Culver that she's so sexually frustrated that she's been crying. What in God's name is going on? Then these lovely guests depart, and let's get to the tip meeting. Pat, what do we got? Guess. A little low. We got $14,000.
Starting point is 00:34:43 Oh, my God. He nailed it. I'm not kidding, Pat. That'd be $13.50 a person, I think, or something. Yes. Did you? He saw that fight. No.
Starting point is 00:34:55 I didn't watch it. Get out of here. You didn't. I don't know. That was awesome. Yeah, I came home rushing. What's the tip? So the Sea Rats come together, and here's the tip? So the sea rats come together.
Starting point is 00:35:06 And here's the thing with the untouchables. They band together to build unity, but they just flame each other. And at the end, Benny is reduced to tears. Not fired. No, he is not fired.
Starting point is 00:35:21 I think he's going to be kept, but he is brought in to have a little meeting with hot Captain Jason, and we end with a real Bravo cliffhanger. Really? The kind where we only get an end card with TBC ellipses, not scenes from next week, only TBC ellipses. Is it a park in Boat or something? No, I think, no, he may or may not be fighting or firing Benny.
Starting point is 00:35:50 But I believe we didn't get any shots of what happens next week. It's because Benny's in every single one of them. Yeah, 100%. Well, three more episodes. Yeah. All right, guys, jump in the comments. Let us know what you thought of the episode. Hey, support me.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Did you enjoy me not watching the show yeah this could be a thing alright we'll see you next week I'm Dylan saying goodbye Nick say goodbye goodbye Pat say goodbye bye guys sorry Thank you.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.