Another Below Deck Podcast - These Two Hate Each Other | Below Deck S9 E10

Episode Date: August 6, 2024

Dylan and Pat are back to break down ancient wonders, The Game of Oars, 7-11's Mexican offerings, donuts, porn star martinis and more from Bravo's Below Deck Med.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcastGo to MagicMind.com/BelowDeck and Use code BADTVGo to BodySmartFitness.com and mention the show in your application. Use code BADTV in the Tropical Smoothie App 

It's not the Parthenon but it sounds like the Parthenon. Give them the comments Let us know what I'm talking about. It's it's some it's like a church or it's like a dome. It's like a temple It's like it's like really not the Vatican. No, not the Vatican. No, no, no, it's a different spot of the city That fountain thing. No, not traffic found. No, no, no. It's another one of the Let's jump in the comments. Let us know what this is but you look around and you go Um, let's jump in the comments. Let us know what this is, but you look around and you go Wow I had a when I went to my I had a lasagna for every meal Hi, hello and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast.

My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one Patrick Hickey. Permission to come aboard. Granted. So how are you doing? Doing well. Yeah. Yeah.

Bravo kind of screwed us this week. I don't like to... We don't need to get into... The episode came late. Yeah, it came a little late, but it was a big episode. It was an episode that everybody was waiting with bated breath for and was it worth it, Patrick? Absolutely not. Yeah, do you want to go ahead?

Oh, do we want to get any housekeeping out of the way for us? We do, but I didn't know if you were champion at the bid, if you needed to just get it out. I'll save that for my thoughts and nods. We'll save that for thoughts and nods. PSAs, really exciting stuff for Patreon. Oh yes, The Bachelor, we've moved it behind the paywall. So if you've been listening to us cover that on bad TV, it's not in that feed anymore. It's behind a paywall for $5.

And we'll make it worth your while. Don of Brazil, gone like a thief in the night. Exactly. Yeah. Also, we just recapped Patty's big birthday bonanza. Yeah, I had 20, well, excuse me. Supposedly, it was supposed to be 20th, 20 of my closest friends throughout

the years in my life in Los Angeles. And one of my friends insisted upon bringing his wife. Yeah. And she ruined the whole goddamn thing. Well, it was a lovely night. We broke the whole thing down at patreon.com. It was a four course menu and boy did I have some things to say about the food. Dylan had thoughts.

Yeah. We broke down every single dish course by course. Find that at patreon.com slash another podcast network. Tropical Smoothie Cafe is a wonderful company that is sponsoring the show. We'll talk to you all about the magical powers of their Kai bowls later in the show. Pat, thoughts, pots? Did you mention Magic Mine?

Are we at our dinner? Not tonight. Okay. Not tonight. Okay, I think I need Magic Mind in my life because it's gonna help me perform better. Yeah, we all need Magic Mind. And to help the show out, go to magicmind.com

slash below deck, enter in below deck 20. Okay. Thoughts and knots, you want me to go first? You want me to go first? You want me to go first? Yeah. Okay. Beach day is

Become a thing on below deck. I think it's usually around episode 10 It might in fact be every episode 10 of every season at this point My personal thoughts on that is if I was an employee of this vessel, I would say no Thanks to an invite to beach day. It's exactly what one of our sea rats did why? Oh, no Oh no. No, no, no. Incorrect. Skip for dinner.

That was a mea culpa. Why would I want to spend a Saturday with a bunch of people that I barely want to hang out with during the week? Well, I mean, what restaurant says when you're here your family? I don't know. Is that Bush's Beans?

Is that the Macaroni Grill? It's either a restaurant or it's one of these like, you know, these like big, big like agribusinesses that like have these like charming kind of like grassroots stories like Sargento. Oh yeah. You know? That's the cheese company.

Yeah, that's the cheese. Yeah, I think it's a dad and two brothers or something. Yeah, Sargento when When you're cheese your family, I think is... Go ahead. Do you remember Bartles and James? They were kind of like the first hard seltzers back like 30 years ago before they had a name for him. Turns out there wasn't a Bartles and there wasn't a James. Yeah. You got to keep your eyes peeled because, you know, we just get lied to a lot in this waking life. But anyways, yeah Normally the beach days provide the final nail in the wavering sea rat coffin. It's taken many people Down. Yeah, gabby famously a wave the white flag after a drunken day of shenanigans. Wow

She got a need in the face. I think yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, and then um, I think frazier almost almost got to fire barbie season, but somehow she wiggled her way out of that That's right and Frazier. We'd love to talk to you Yeah, I don't think he's mad at us Anyway, um, okay other notes here cuz I thought it was just an okay episode that Joe guys really starting to get under my skin I mean main main point to take away from this episode is that I mean main main point to take away from this episode is that Joe's a thick-eyed Brad scumbag. Yeah. Well, he's lame. He wrote that dumb song Yeah, he talked down to gale this episode and his voice is annoying

Watch out. Yeah, so I don't want to be on our bad side not a fan of Joe I thought it was just a decent episode boy. The the whole beach day was a bust I mean normally I don't want to see those sea rats get sunburned while they you know Joe, I thought it was just a decent episode. Boy, the whole beach day was a bust. I mean, normally I don't want to see those sea rats get sunburned while they get alcohol poisoned and then someone gets fired. However, it just felt like we just, it was five minutes of the episode and then we were done.

Yeah. Potts? Oh, nine. I don't want to be cynical about Nathan and Gail's love, but it's the worst kind of sea rat romance, which is the man is playing a long con to bed the Sea Rat it's like listen we've been wrong about this before I mean never did I thought Patine and Nipples were gonna get together after the show but they did in fact now that's never

gonna last you know never I don't think it has. Are they still together? You're referring to Sonny and whatever that other Ben. Sonny and Ben, yeah. You know, here's another thing that I noticed. Remember when they were at the, they were doing a little sightseeing and Gail just kept having pictures taken of her by herself? Yeah. You know, one time we went to Napa with a group of people and my buddy Greg, he decided to bring a date, quote-unquote,quote date turns out She wasn't a date at all She didn't want anything to do with him except for that free trip to Napa the whole time She's just taking pictures at wineries by herself. She had a boyfriend People will do that. Yeah, I mean listen free trips to Napa or free trips to Napa, right?

so yeah wasn't the greatest episode and Let me just say this really quickly. I don't want to burst anybody's bubble, but you know, we get some scenes from later on in the season. Oh, the at the tail end of the episode or in the middle? They did teasers for both. Yeah, we get scenes from later in the season. Ellie's not going anywhere.

Cheese is not going anywhere. Okay, this is a three girl team for a four-girl boat. We can't just fire two people. So we just add a fourth girl. We just add a fourth girl. I think her name's Carrie, by the way. Jonah was definitely getting fired. He looks that way.

Yeah, I don't know if fish can kill, right? I don't know if the flesh of yellowfin can kill, right? I don't know if fish can kill, right? I don't know if the flesh of yellowfin can kill, right? I don't know if that's a real allergy or if we just have a nut bag. I think she's a nut bag, but it's still kind of fun. Like, oh, fish. Oh, this can kill me. And Sandy's like, oh my God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's old Sandy there. Yeah, well Sandy. Jonah, you almost killed someone. Yeah, no, Sandy, she's just a fucking lunatic. I don't think the flesh of fish can kill But I don't know out their throat. You might have to see a doctor. Yeah Yeah, she's like have you seen that scene in anaconda when they have to cut open the man's throat and all that stuff and the Bee is in there. That's what would happen to me if I ate this ceviche right now. Anyways, um last up

happen to me if I ate this ceviche right now. Anyways, last up, fucking seven pods. Yeah. But last PSA and this is selfish but I think it might be cathartic to some of the people out there who have seen it. The people that write the show House of Dragon. Oh yeah. Should be, I'm not talking about re-education, but maybe a speeding ticket, right? Fine them. Even though they deserve a fine, okay? What the gang over at House of Dragon delivered last night is nothing short of unacceptable, okay? And I think that everybody who saw that can agree.

Was it season finale? Season finale. It was only eight episode arc this eight episodes and you said arc what arc right we've got louise spooking mansion with damon we've got the introduction of some bizarre character the nobody cares about through the eyes of the land is to that nobody really gives a shit at taking up twenty minutes of the cf is what you guys are the

crème de la crème this is supposed to be good this is prime time television writing on HBO's prime time slot and you do this you deserve to be fined This is why I watch shitty reality TV. Yeah, it's really disappointing. You don't have to be so invested It can be on in the background. Yeah Writing has gotten really bad. It's cra- the writing is so bad. We've got Bela running around in grass trying to find a dragon. What is she doing? What, what's she doing? Can someone tell me what she's doing?

We've got the Sneeze, the Sea Snakes Bastard children. I don't care! I don't care! It's all so bad! I remember my buddy, well I won't say his name. This was a nine pod episode of Below Deck. It was better than the season finale of Game of Thrones. Is that right?

Yeah. Good for you, Bravo. Yeah. Eat that. Can I start us off with this episode? Yes, please. Okay, so we begin with Sandy having a little chat with the Balkan Biscuit and Cheese here. And she wants to see if they can work things out.

But both of them take a hard stance. They're not willing to apologize or try and work or mend the relationship. It's, I was asking myself as I was watching these two, where's the strategy here? I've often mentioned a game of oars actually. It's the only game where the outcome doesn't matter. It's almost like they're not thinking at all

what the end game might be. Right, right. Hmm, my god, you fucking sea rats. Yeah, like imagine if Littlefinger was working his entire life to position himself as the second stew on a rented yacht. You know, it'd be like, what are we doing? But he wasn't. He was trying to get to the Iron Throne. OK, so Ellie says, you can fire me today if you need to, because I'm proud of what I've done. Sandy turns around, dismisses them, says, Mary and Joseph.

And we leave this meeting with an even more fetid, putrid hatred for one another than we had before we hopped into the clothes nest. These two hate each other. You know though I will say this Dylan towards the end of the episode when you have a common enemy it's an old saying absolutely you may just be friends. Joe is a scumbag. Yeah but that won't stop cheese and or I mean definitely cheese from from trying to bang him and and that's just so heartbreaking to see not only do we have the the grievances committed on the keys the

hopscotching the lily padding between the two but the pronouncement the bonding with the other woman about what a piece of shit this guy is and after all of that to go back to the the well is just man horniness is just such a powerful thing. I've been there myself. Oh my god. I get it. We all have man it's just wild. So Sandy has a chat to Aisha while she's eating lunch and I don't know at this point it looks like these two are gonna get fired yesterday but as we kind of know in the bottom of our balls there's no way that's happening. Now I also want to say because it's an absolutely stupid maneuver to make why fire both and hamstring yourself I'd say

fuck it flip a coin you're both awful. Love that love that Oh better yet break a pool cue and half nice yeah okay um so we have this little vignette of Jono talking about how baking is a cruel bitch this didn't amount to anything he did well with the cake don't show us this unless he's going to fail yes that cake was fine now dill uh i'll if you don't mind i'll handle the proceedings of Gail and Nate. Yeah. They chat and she lets us know she's never gone from one relationship, yeah. Jumping into another. And I don't think that's a good way to describe what's transpired on this. It's a horrible way to describe.

Yeah, she didn't go from one to another. There was, in fact, some crossover. Yeah. Here's an analogy. On Saturday, I went to Disneyland and then I went and got pizza. But if Gail's telling that story, she was eating Papa John's while on Space Mountain.

She was doing both things at the same time. Okay, I get what you're saying. I would say that the five month relationship with the Sea Rat, both afloat in different locations, is barely a relationship. So I would say it would be like if you were, let's say, you know, one of these, what I eat in a day bitches on Instagram says,

they take like two bites out of a donut, right? And then they move on to the next donut, but they don't eat the donut and they go, oh my God, I can't believe I've had two donuts today. You know, that kind of thing. Oh, I see what you're saying. I think both of these analogies might be bad. Yeah, possibly.

But what I will say is there's a thing that we used to call in the game, the book The Game, written by that creepy guy. It was called Warming Up in the Bullpen. Okay. Okay. And what Gale has done, Nathan wasn't warming up in the bullpen,

he was actually hitting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what drove me so nuts about this whole, What gail has done he nathan wasn't warming up in the bullpen. He was actually hit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Well, they that's what drove me so nuts about this whole You know, can I give you a kiss thing at the end of the episode you guys have been sucking each other's faces for weeks now So Asia feels like she's failing and Ellie and cheese set a table while absolutely hating each other. The tension is absolutely hating each other. The tension is palpable. Well, Dylan, you and I have been forced to work with people, uh, quite, closely that we despise and they in fact despise us as well. Uh, one of them, I think, uh, punched a wall. He hated us so much.

That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, did you just punch a wall? And he said, fuck you. And he walked away. I was like, whoa, yeah, I never see anything like it. I missed that company so much. Yeah. So let's get to the nighttime. Sandy sees the tablescape and says table looks great. Let's switch the cabins. Because we might have a homicide on our hands if these two sleep together. I think it's great management from Sandy. You got to get them out of the same room.

It's interesting that they're doing the exact opposite. Generally, if you had put the both of them in a room to each other, they don't hate each other because they're roommates. They hate each other because they were chasing the same guy. And also, Bree is, Jesus, incompetent. Normally, putting them together would pawn them. Pulling them apart, in this case,

may have been the smartest solution yet. I think so, yeah. So poor Gail, she says she needs to get to bed because she's going to get five hours of sleep if she goes down at nine. It's absolutely wild to me that in an era of you know I would say respect for labor, not by the big guys, absolutely not, but I mean respect for the mental wellness of labor. How are we a person short? How are these people getting five hours of sleep?

Can we do something here to fix this? Because it's inhumane. Well, also very dangerous. Very dangerous. Yeah, this isn't someone just working an office job and being tired. You're working on a vessel that can literally kill you. Yeah, I mean, just ask Captain Jason. I mean, when you're tired, you can ram your boat into an entire marina. But because... Clam the lives of many.

But because you're hot, it doesn't matter. Let's get to dinner, seafood pasta with scallops and white wine sauce. Was that it one course? Yeah, not enough for me And this is what the show does to the chefs, right so like And it's foolish to me because we have to Recap the show with fidelity, but like I'm watching the show. I see one course then cake I know there has to be other food. So I'm watching the show, I see one course then cake, I know there has to be other food, so I'm not even gonna call Jono a psychopath for doing that, or mock this entire operation for

thinking that's appropriate for paying guests. But if that was the case, these people should be fined. You know? You know, I'm gonna reach out. Pasta and cake? I want to talk to Jono. We've given him a lot of shit. I want to talk to him. I'll get on that. Okay. So, the slumber party has been set up. Ellie says we need candles. That sounds like a bad idea to me.

But we hear a little bit of a song. It's a dickhead song played by Joe at the piano who is... A dickhead. Yeah, but he's also... he's a floundering talent when he gets on those keys I mean you sure he can he can mosey his way around you know a couple notes but I've seen a fifth grade piano recital with more acuity on to the instrument yeah thank you the song is something like this I got with one of them, I got with the other, I got with one of them and now what should I do

with the other, it was a objectifying, revolting song. I just wanted to trump there for a second. Yes you did. It was a nasty song. It was a horrible song. It was a horrible song. But yeah, it was. She's a Klingon! Right.

She's green! Right. Who are you talking about? Oh, our vice president. Oh, Kamala. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know.

They call her Campbell. I don't call her that. But some people call her that. No politics. We know what you're doing there. I mean, some people say he's fat. I don't say he's fat. Some people say he's a fat pig. I don't say that. Okay, God. Okay. So then

you stood at a pulpit said that. Yeah, I was during the slumber party setup, it turns out that the You just stood at a pulpit and said that though. Yeah. During the slumber party set up, it turns out that the Balkan biscuit is within an earshot of this horrible misogynist song. And just to, you know, and speaking of misogyny, you know, when I referenced the What I Eat in a Day bitches earlier, it was just, I was only referring- Well that's an actual handle, isn't it?

Well I was referring to the 23 year old women with perfect bodies who go, this is what I do to stay in shape. You're 23 years old, okay? Please. But this, yeah. Oh, reading between the lines., picking up on the details. Nathan sees Ellie walk in.

Doesn't put a stop to the song at all. And this is why this Sea Rat brothership, this, our brotherhood, it's matchsticks. or Brotherhood, it's matchsticks. You know, I mean these people, if they were put into a squid game like scenario, oh my god. They'd be dead. They would be not only needing to kill, but possibly enjoying the bloodlust after a certain point. So Nathan really did not help his bro out there. No he didn't and as a result, this is the Balkan Biscuit, she said that song made her dry up. You know what makes me dry up? The band Korn. Oh yeah. They're just too negative. All those songs about hell. Not sexy at all. No, I mean Papa Roach. Mm-hmm. Very... My wife made out with the singer. I always get jealous when I hear that song. It's a very Inland Empire

energy, the whole thing. Yeah, very riverside. Yeah, you know what drives me up? What drives you up? Riverside. Riverside drives you up. Yeah, absolutely. I was there this weekend. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't want to be yeah. Yeah. Hey in the comments Tell us what drives you. Yeah, what drives you up? You know, that's a new saying Yeah, what drives you up? It's not oh, are you talking about like what annoys you? Yeah Well, it's just a fun way to say it Patty's just created a thing Hey, what drives you up City of Industry drives me off traffic Right. Hey, what dries you up? City of industry dries me up. Oh, traffic. Poorly, poorly made tuna salad dries me up.

There you go. The wings at 7-Eleven. What are you guys, you guys are serving buffalo wings to people. Let me tell you something, 7-Eleven, you have no business serving Mexican food. Okay? You got to get out of that business now yesterday. And it's insane the oversight of all of us to allow 7-eleven to make it a culinary pillar of their business model to sell taquitos. How did we how did we let this happen? It's coffee. Oh yeah. That stuff is rocket fuel.

Yes it is. Yeah. So anyways, because this is how 7-Eleven makes the coffee. There's a disgruntled employee that comes in at 4.15 in the morning and he or she just dumps scoop after scoop after way too many. They don't care. They're tired And they spit in the machine and then you drink it next thing I'm beat out of my mind be down Yeah, so anyways, we are talking about below. Sure slumber before we do. Let's say a quick word about a company that I have really Dare I say fallen in love with. I've fallen in love with them too, and I don't say that often.

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Yeah, it's pretty awesome. It's so awesome, man I I you know that they they made a big buy into the show Yeah, and and we love them for that because this insane company comes along and says we should we should give these guys a year campaign because they'll, they'll talk about, you know, talking to dolphins for 15 minutes reanimated coconuts, right. So thanks, Tropical Smoothie Cafe. Go to Tropical Smoothie Cafe. Go to Tropical Smoothie Cafe. You'll be on Tropic Time then.

And use the code BADTV in the app. Okay? Get happy. So we get some lovely talk of high school bus fights. And we sing a song for Colleen. That song being the Happy Birthday song. One of your least favorite songs. Oh, it's so sad and's just so sad and depressing. I actually tried to wave off everybody singing

happy birthday to me at my, I could not stop you guys. You did it anyway. No, I mean you can very rarely stop people from singing happy birthday at your birthday. So Slumber Party gets going, porn star martinis are whipped up. Ellie whips them up, they taste like shit.

They do. Would the audience like to know what's in a porn star martini I would like to know okay it sounds pretty delicious actually it is vodka passion fruit lime juice and it's served in a chilled coupe I'm sorry a chilled glass with a side cart of Prosecco I like that the drink was created in 2002 by bar owner Douglas Ankara. He's dead, by the way. Yeah, and that's a very 2002 drink to make,

and I would imagine that man died either of natural causes or a drug overdose. Well, yeah, he was inspired when he went to a strip club. That's how he came up with it. Oh, cool. Well, strip clubs are very inspiring places. Yes, they are. You know, you really go to strip clubs to ideate.

By the way, the reason why I think, Ellie, I was, now that I knew or I knew what the ingredients were, it was the flavored vanilla vodka that fucked up that martini. And vanilla vodka should be federally illegal. I think it is so disgusting. Whoever came up with that idea, shame on you. Probably that guy that boned his heart on drugs,

that came up with that porn star martini, is probably that guy. So Bree calls a friend. She says Ellie's a bitch. Her friend says, I agree. And they hang up the phone. And we've got to just have more to that, right? Yeah.

You know what I mean? Because what did we get from that? Nothing. Ellie goes down at 3 o'clock, and we get to the final day of the charter. 7 AM koozie call. That was quite a curveball. Yeah.

Kind of probably loosen up the joints so you could do a little yoga or something. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Exactly. Warm all the tendons up. It's amazing to go on a vacation and ask the staff if they can do something and they're just, I mean, I boogie zombies, just like, yeah, I guess. I mean, it would just, it feels like such an imposition, you know? Yeah, I never expect quality service out of someone

that's sleep deprived entirely. No, absolutely not. Unless they're- You ever see how fucking miserable people are at breakfast places or donut shops at five in the morning? They hate you. Well, where do, the donut shops are all owned by,

what are they, Laotians? Well, not all of them. What are you talking about? Like, just like, what are they, Laotians? Well, not all of them. What are you talking about? What are some of the bigger ones we have out here? No, I'm not talking about Winchell's or anything. I'm talking about mom and pop donut shops. Yeah, I'd say there are several in our local vicinity here, and they do, in fact, either employ a lot of Asian people.

It's a family business. It's, I wish I knew. They're salt of the earth people that work so unbelievably hard for very small margins. And what do they have to do? Throw coffee at homeless people, they're walking their stores at five in the morning. Yeah, actually, yeah, I seen him shoo a zombie out the other day. Because a zombie's making a bet, right?

He's going, listen, how much can a doughnut be? Just give me one. And they throw scalding hot coffee at them. No, no. This guy walked in the zombie. And the woman behind the counter just said, nope, get out. And he listened. Anyway.

The problem with throwing hot liquid at a zombie is they have so many layers on, regardless of the temperature, that you're probably going to have to have a really good aim, you have to hit skin. Otherwise, it's essentially like an exoskeleton. Okay, so Nathan and Gale take this one. They seem to drain the boat of all its hot water, and the Eastern Block engineer does quite a bit of a rat job. Yeah, he rats him out. Yep.

Rats him out. So luckily, it was the end of the charter because everyone would be departing the boat with no hot water, no hot shower. Right, what if you needed to shower before you got on the plane and sat in complete filth? Well, Sandy calls Nate and Ian up and get them together. And she sees Ian as the problem, because he's the boss in there filth. Well Sandy calls Nate and Ian up and get them together and she sees Ian as the problem you know because he's the the boss in there. Yeah. And then we get a

look back at Ian's greatest misses. Yeah. And we're reminded once again that he has the opposite issue that Haley Joe Osmond did in the Sixth Sense. Haley saw dead people. Ian doesn't see living people. Haley saw more dimensions than we can. Ian sees less dimensions than we can, which is a perilous condition. Think about the danger of that. I mean I don't even want to interview him because he's gonna say, who am I talking to? Well? Well, we're right here. Yeah, I mean thank God for the for the ears, you know, because otherwise he would just stop talking. I mean according to him there's no one in front of the camera right now. You know, it's just wild

stuff. So um Nathan does this kind of faux heroism thing that was. Yeah. The cameras caught it, Nathan. You were going to win on this one no matter what. OK. So Sandy is very, very cheesed off. You know, if at the end of this episode we hadn't seen the scene where Sandy says, I have to fire Jono, which usually means that she's not

going to fire Jono, I would say that Ian is in pole position to get fired. This could be a season where half the boat gets fired. It's just a bloodbath. Yeah, I don't think it's that dire. I don't think anybody's getting fired. Well, we'll see. Despite how incompetent the entire cast is. So yeah, we go back to the litany of mistakes.

Nathan takes the blame and then goes and lets Gail know that he took the blame. I kind of feel bad for Ian in this situation. I don't know why this is Ian's fault. I think it's just the cumulative effect of him not seeing things that exist. Well there it's also cumulative in that he's messed up so much that naturally just everything that gets fucked up falls on his lap. Yeah. Because one could argue using the same point, the laundry keeps getting messed up. Sandy could argue, Kermit, this is on you.

You're her supervisor. Why is this happening? Right. It's two way street. Which she did, but not in the same kind of vitriolic way she does with Ian. But Gail heads up to chat to Sandy. Gail's accountability and tears.

Torque Sandy right the fuck up. And she says, I wish Ian had this kind of a yeah yeah yeah he's a dead man walking one other moment happens prior to that though Sandy cuz Colleen our primary is leaving yeah she asked Colleen how was the food and she says it was great and Sandy responds by saying really yeah hey Dell tell me that The Rock is a great actor. The Rock is a great actor. Really? Yeah.

The inflection is surprise and disbelief. Jono's getting fired. Can I tell you, I saw twisters over the weekend. Oh, how was it? AKA more than one NATO. I cannot tell you. I can't remember the last time I had that much fun in a movie theater. Oh get out of here. No it was just wall to wall fun. That's what it's supposed to be. It was so amazing. Me and a couple of friends went.

How high were you? Oh. Because that helps make the movie fun. Oh, I was gone. I was absolutely blitzed. But in the beginning, a young Indian male gets ripped off a pole and he goes into the tornado. My friend screamed forward. He was stunned at the violence of it all. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's maybe a tip to nod to the first one because the scene of a family grabbing on oh you remember the first one. Yeah yeah and you thought that dog was gonna go out but it got into the storm cellar. You know real quick because I know we got to talk about below deck even though there's nothing to talk about.

Glenn Powell, I mentioned this on one of our other properties, every once in a while Hollywood like three times a year they anoint some new actor or actress that's gonna be in eight movies over the next five years. Why is he the guy right now? Because he's a golden retriever, okay? He's a golden retriever. And let me tell you, he is perfect in Twisters. Go see Twisters.

I mean, it's just an amazing film. No satanic shit like in Long Legs, just twisters. I can't wait to see Long Legs. When it comes to your home television. That's right. Right. Because you wouldn't want to go see that in a theatrical. I'm gonna make my triumphant return to the movie theaters to see Aliens Romulus on the 16th. I'm going by myself. I'm going during the day and I'm not telling my wife. I'm gonna see the two o'clock showing of it and enjoy a movie going experience by myself. Which theater are you gonna go to? Universal. Well you're not gonna enjoy yourself.

It's during the day no one will be there trust me. Everyone's gonna be there. It's just a horrible theater so don't go there. We gotta get you back into the movies right? If you were a vegetarian and your first bite back into the real world was a hot dog, that you know you wouldn't be coming back, right? That's true. Don't go to Universal City Walk. It's a disgusting place. Okay. So, wigs are nice and tight and we're heading to the Dark Joe and Nathan. This is when Joe slips into this bizarre, I don't know, taking notes and keeping tabs on Gail's princess like treatment. Yeah, this was odd. What are you doing?

And by the way, it wasn't even her fault. If your buddy, Nathan, wants to take the blame for the drain out, that's for him to do it. And that's not her business. Hey, Joe. Leave her alone, Joe. Go wipe some rails down. Leave Gail alone.

OK? You jerk. You jerk. Jeez, Louise. So John O. licks Asia's hand. I got to say, these two were a buddy cop flick. And I love it. I think they have a great relationship.

So they guess the part. The primary tells Ellie to get the drinks right next time. Joe says he's going to apologize to Ellie and I guess he's got it out for her man she's taken too long inside and when she heads up to do some more cleaning there's a bizarre amount of tension between the two where's this coming from why is it important why was it sure this is like one of those things that this should have hit the cutting room floor right I think so don't you think yeah that's probably whether I don't want to get behind the scenes but no I don't do that get behind the scenes, but no But yeah, all right So at this point cheese reports to Kermit that she wants Ellie out of her goddamn laundry dungeon, right? Because things are getting kind of messed up. Yep, and this is when Kermit tells her to go kick some fucking rocks

Yeah Kermit is I Love Asia so much because she's just such a light but she's also there to you know Steven Seagal a piece of plywood if she needs to you know what I mean I mean she just tells her straight to her face you're being an insane person this boat does not run according to your personal preferences go away cheese and not to get ahead of myself I can appreciate her strategy on trying to nail down who's the incompetent one. I think we know the answer to that one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. But she is taking the one of the silver bullets of sabotage out of the picture. That's right. Right. So she's really, you know, she's coming into her own man. She's just a phenomenal below deck cast member. So tip meeting Pat what do we get? We got 21.5 that's 1800 each that's great and then Sandy announces

that the Sea Rats have been just so mediocre I mean amazing the owner of the boat who we never actually meet he's like that Charlie guy and Charlie's angels you just hear him on the box oh you can hear this guy anyway he's paying for a day off at the beach club. And yeah, it's a banker from Deal or No Deal. Has arranged a day off for them, but first, we got to go get fucked up. Now, Ellie decides to hang back.

And that is prudent. Yeah, I mean, it's a really, really good move. Ellie is so confusing to me because I think that her hatred of cheese has has dragged her down into some kind of fourth or fifth circle of hell. Yeah. But but she she really does have a good head on her shoulders at times like when they're sitting down with Joe at the Beach Club she diagnoses his apology in a really human way and somebody with a good amount of emotional intelligence yet

cheese I mean they both evolve into complete and total gremlins towards one another. It's unbelievable. Well you ever see a married couple and they both hate each other and they're miserable and they're their worst versions of themselves? Yeah. It's kind of like that here. Right, yeah exactly. So Cheese is told about the song, She's Heartbroken for Ellie and Revolted by Joe. Two questions. Why are you gonna hook up with them then? And two, why are you heartbroken for just Ellie? You were also objectified in the song. So be heartbroken for you too. We get to dinner, Cheese wants to run from Joe and Asha is looking on the bright side. She sees a future wherein cheese can be Not bad, yeah, the sky is the limit for this girl

I mean she can reach to a status where she's just not bad, right? and That's a death a damning indictment. You know, it's a playful one. But if the root the root of it is To keep the sky analogy the sky's the limit if one layer of the sky is bad Yeah, it's a breach that layer. Yeah And and you know, the sky is a lie. We live in a firmament. The earth is flat. Everybody knows that. So deck team stuff.

Joe tells Gail that he is upset with her princess treatment. Again, this is so left field for me. It's like a small dose of psychosis. It's Shutter Island shit. I mean, where is this coming from? Him getting dicky with Gail, it's like a small dose of psychosis. I, it's Shutter Island shit. I mean, where is this coming from? Him getting dicky with Gail, it was really weird because I felt she'd handled this whole screw up

with the draining of the hotline. Perfectly. Like a, like a goddamn champ. Everyone would like to have a coworker like Gail. Now having her as a girlfriend. Different story, different story. Now having her as a girlfriend on land when you're not sea rats, that might be a lovely thing.

You know, but. And Gale, we're just giving you shit. We know you're 25. Have a good time. Yeah, I love Gale. I love Gale. All right, so Aisha loves history and the beach. Cheese and Ellie bond over their hatred of Joe.

This is where you're speaking on the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Mm-hmm, yeah. Is that the right expression? on the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Is that the right expression? If we have the same enemy, we may just be friends. That's right. So, Ellie says, who the fuck are you? I have NFL players in my DMs.

Which isn't necessary. Because half her pictures of her wearing dental floss, who doesn't like that? And NFL players, while they all are, you know, they're successful on their own, right, some of them are O linemen. They're 375 pound white men, you know. So it's cool, but you know, hopefully they're hot. Hopefully they're hot. Okay, so we head to the Acropolis. And we talk about.

Well, I don't know if you knew this, but Kermit points out, this place is really old. Yeah, and it is really old. I mean, when you go to these places, you're really blown away by what they could achieve so long ago. You know, because it's not the Parthenon, but it's the thing in Rome that's like the... Get in the comments, let us know. What's that? Colosseum. No, not the Colosseum. It's not the Parthenon, but it sounds like the Parthenon. Get in the

comments, let us know what I'm talking about. It's like a church or it's like a dome, it's like a temple or it's like a dome. It's like a temple. It's like, it's like really. Not the Vatican. No, not the Vatican. No, no, no. It's in a different spot of the city. That fountain thing. No, not traffic fountain.

No, no, no. It's another one of the, um, jump in the comments, let us know what this is. But you look around and you go, wow. I had out when I went to Rome, I had a lasagna for every meal Yeah, yeah, four days straight is lasagna is not even a Roman I don't know they made it for me

It took a while in the kitchen. Yeah, it's not what they do. No, it's the best lasagna I ever had though That's insane I Also only ordered cheeseburgers when I was in Thailand. Yeah, well that's everybody knows that. And I don't blame you because Thai food is, I mean it's just too hot. I got sick of it. Day two I was like I'm not eating more Thai food. It's it's so delicious. I love Thai food. Thai food does not love me. Okay, just can't do it. So it's too much dried shrimp and chili.

I mean, it just, you know, I don't know, maybe Jews can't eat Thai food. I'm not sure. So anyways, Asia is popping. She's talking about storing her cloth in gold safely because civilization depends on it. I mean, these are these kind of slips into insanity that make Asia so lovely.

Yeah, I think she'd make a good barkeep back in the 400 BC time. Okay. Yeah, I think she'd make a good barkeep back in the 400 BC time. Okay. Yeah. So Joe, Mr. Kind of Billabuddy, I don't know what this note is, but Nathan and Gale have some kind of, oh well he hasn't apologized to Ellie yet is I think the thing that I was getting at. Okay, all right, so this is where we bounced a Beach Club day I think okay, so the conversation starts out with some positive reflection on the season you know gale starts talking about no I was I was still at the Parthenon Joe's not apologizing to Ellie I think the thing that I wanted to express was for somebody who talks about accountability

What why do I keep want to keep wanting to say accountability buddy? That's not the word, it's accountability. For somebody who talks about accountability, go apologize to the woman. This should have been taken care of. You did a really shitty thing. And then Nathan and Gail have their, you know, I wanna go somewhere with her.

It's like, would you two just bang each other already? I mean, my God. What are you gonna have kids. Definitely not. Oh, enjoy banging each other. All right. Let's get to the beach. OK. The conversation starts like I think Gail started. She's like kind of just talking about the fun parts of being a sea rat. Living with each other. Family family. And then then the Balkan biscuit, like the fucking fucking Grinch sucks all the fun out of the air

That's when she starts looking at Joe and she wants an apology. Yes. She was so disrespected now They'll I I feel differently than you. I felt like she was kind of faking here I don't think I don't think she cares at all that he had that song about her I mean the girl had bombs dropped on her town for God's sake you think some imbecile writing a that song about her. I mean the girl had bombs dropped on her town for God's sake. You think some imbecile writing a dumb song about her, she's gonna have a... Well Patrick, hurt is hurt, right? Hurt is hurt and you know there there are bombs of the emotional plane that maybe don't they they don't hurt as bad but but they still hurt. And it was just disgusting to me that Ellie had to coax the apology out of Joe Who is leaning back in his?

street fair shades Having to be kind of prodded into this apology now the apology he gives is a heartfelt one and Done several times. He did several circles back. Well, that's why I'm apologizing. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, good for you.

So we head to the, this whole place is called the Dot Beach Club. And that kind of triggered me. Your cat's named Dot. Yeah, Patreon. There will be a Dot Trap coming very soon. And I mean a big Don. Yeah, Patreon, there will be a dot drop coming very soon and I mean a big one, okay? A big dot drop, alright? So, um, we talked about kissing with Nathan and Gale and... Spare us. They're very bashful

about the whole thing. Spare us. We get to the next day. Next morning! And we get right to it. I mean, should we just get right to it? The preference sheet meeting? Yeah. Okay, let's go. It's time for the preference sheet meeting. Moesha Dellinger, natural hair care brand. Dinner is going to be, we've got some retired athletes here with us. Got a life coach. Got a life coach. The best. You know, because life coaches are great because they don't need any kind of licensure to espouse bullshit.

That's right. Right. So that's fantastic. They want a Michelin star experience, so I would recommend they head to Paris and not this boat. Yeah. They write down their demand for Michelin quality in one of the most psychotic ways I've ever seen.

One, don't write it so aggressively. Two, go to Paris and don't go on this boat if you want Michelin quality food, okay? Because Michelin quality food has, you know, before the awards were perverted and polluted with all of these hawkers. You know these fucking old world chef guys, they're just disgusted that a taqueria gets a Michelin star.

They're like, it should be. Well, I mean, I don't know. I mean there's a lot of good food out there. But anyways, Michelin star meals have teams of often hundreds of people. So don't write this on a preference sheet, is what we're trying to say. OK, not bad. You have a chef. Good god.

We leave the doc. Jono says rather correctly that he might be fucked for this one. And then we get to laundry. Sandy is once again missing a red shirt. And we've got Asha spiraling a little bit because we are, we really are in the throes of insanity. I mean the definition being repeating the same thing and expecting a different result so Asha's got to change this up a little bit because cheese has proved to be wanting in

a major way. There is laundry all over the place every time. I can't imagine how frustrating it would be for Asia to walk up to Cheese for the 60th time and go, hey, we're missing a red shirt, where is it? And Cheese just looking at her deer in headlights saying, I have no clue. Do we have a wormhole aboard this vessel?

What is going on? We'll find out what happens next week. Next week, until then, go to patreon.com. For Patty's B-Day stories, The Bachelor, and more, ad-free episodes as well, five stars, kind words. We've got to get to your reviews. We'll read them next week. OK, well, you remember that.

We've got to read some reviews next week. Yeah, someone said that they left our coverage for a little while. They dropped us, not because they were mad. Some people people say yeah, I don't like that you said this. Yeah, sure. This person in the review said they came back and that we helped them out of a mild case of depression. Oh, I saw that. That made me feel good. That makes me feel so warm. Laughter is the greatest medicine. That's right. And we'll read that review next week and put your name on it. We love you guys so much for supporting the show. Do so at Patreon.

Do so with our advertisers. Have a great rest of your week. We'll see you next week. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye. Later dudes. Love