Kill James Bond! - They're Sea Rats| Below Deck S9 E14

Episode Date: February 4, 2022

Nick, Pat and Dylan are back to talk the season finale of Bravo's Below Deck Reg. We talk scheduling with Sea Rats, chopsticks, five important words, of course race and we bid farewell to Captain Lee.  Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 and our interview with Lexi Wilson.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork Video of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw Merch: AnotherMerchStore.com Go to MagicMind.co and use promo code LEE for 25% OFF  Go to Manscaped.com and use promo code BELOWDECK for 20% OFF and FREE shipping Go to BetterHelp.com/BelowDeck for 10% off your first month. 

Oh yeah, beep that Brian, that was really inappropriate. I think that should be okay. You're saying what the guest said about her. Oh that's right, I'm from a different person's perspective. Yeah, now we can leave it in. Great news! It could be the guest, or it could be your wife, as long as it's not you. I don't think that.

It's actually disgusting how the guest referred to her. Right, shame on them. Do you have to point to finish? She's fake. how the guests referred to her. Right. Shame on them. Do you have to point to finish? I just spanked. Probably not. All right. Okay. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck podcast, the season finale.

We'll have some Zoom reunions to talk about, but the season finale of this, the 19th season of this show or something like that. I'm Dylan, settled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys. Pat, producer of the podcast, is over there behind my glasses. How R is everybody? R is everyone's good. We got a lot of fun stuff to talk about tonight. Dill me. Permission granted, Pat.

Our favorite subject. Come aboard. Race, race in America, race in the islands, colorism all that stuff we just love gabbing and goofing about that look look out for my book coming this summer on race in america and on yachts that's the title it's called conversations uh with a white guy that that's that's not what it's called i don't know how to guess it but it's called race in america and on yachts what was the subtitle? Conversations with a White Guy. Yes.

Subtitles are paramount in nonfiction. They really, really are. And the longer you go, the more comedic they become. We've got a couple PSAs to get out of the way. I would like to take it first. So we had a guest scheduled this evening, our very own Gabriela or whatever the fuck her name baragon is i like to call her persona non grata she was um she's going to be appearing in the upcoming season

of uh sailing one of our favorite versions of the show anyways we got a no show from gabby and dylan's pretty pissed about i'm just saying just saying, someone better have died. Dylan, I told you. These sea rats, you can't count on them for anything. They're sea rats. The most sea rat shit ever we were subjected to tonight. Tonight, all week. The good news is, throughout the week I was protesting, I don't want to do a show with sea rats.

I just want us to get together. I don't like their energy. Maybe she felt that from you, Dylan, and that's why she didn't come tonight. If she thinks she's coming back, this is a pun, that ship has sailed. I'm so excited to cover her on the new season of Below Deck Sailing Yacht. She told

us s***. Sorry. You can't spoil the season. I i mean she shouldn't have told us that but you can't tell people that that would be beeped out right yeah we beeped it yeah we beeped it all right all right so let's move on from gabby this is a beautiful evening we've got hey hey cheers to a lovely season huh guys yeah guys? Yeah. Hey, cheers. Cheers. You're too far away to cheers. But anyways, any more public service? I'll get one in the past.

Oh, I'll just say this. Hey, you fucking cheapos. All right. We're moving on. Well, I'm all worked up. I know, but you got to simmer. Cheapos, it's not your fault. We're not mad at you right now.

We're not mad at you. But we have a gift that we're about to let you know right now. Really quickly? Yeah. I'm not mad at you but i am concerned about a lot of you cheapos we've had a lot of messages about don't do this don't please let me take over this i'm the expert at five dollars what stop listening to podcasts and figure this out because you're so poor. Dale, I leave people alone.

All right. Again, not you guys. For the first time ever in our tenure of recapping Below Deck in this franchise and its various iterations, Below Deck sailing will be free to you.

We're not putting it behind a paywall. It's some of our best work. I love Captain Glenn. For whoever casts that uh that boat they know what they're doing when they're picking sea rats yeah i mean last season which you some of you cheapos didn't hear there was a fucking baby sea rat that came out of last season yeah what a that poor fucking thing there's this charming drunk sea rat named Gary.

He just fills holes. He's down to suck and fuck. Yeah, he's a lot like Jake, but just less handsome and more, I don't know, looks like a female lesbian trucker. But he's a great hang. He's kind of fun. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So here's the deal.

I think female lesbian is a little redundant, and I apologize for that. Good on you, pal. A little redundant's a little understated. Okay. Well, we need you to do barnacles because we're letting you have yachting for free. This is kind of like a, I don't know, what is like a mutual kind of agreement that doesn't need to be said, but it will be said at least once, maybe twice, maybe four times more as we go on this journey. We're letting you have that for free. I believe they call it a quid quo quo that's right joey i've never knew what

so here's the deal another extra piece of content love is blind season two drops in another week we're recapping that behind a paywall greatest show i've ever done so we're giving you yachting for free in exchange under the concept that you will then for more content to hear us talk pay five dollars to your love is blind yeah under that concept go to patreon.com slash another podcast network um and join us there there's lots of great content um over there i gotta stop looking at my phone i keep having in the back of my mind that she's not this bad of a person she's gonna let us know where she is i I'm so excited this happened. It's going to be the old, I fell asleep.

I was doing interviews for below deck all day. Sorry guys. Take the training wheels off when we covered the season, because there will be no, uh, feigned allegiance because we met this sea rat twice. Now the knives and the blades are as sharp as they've ever been. We must begin the show.

Our recap of the season finale with, again, a fan favorite segment called Thoughts and Nuts. Pat. Okay. Let's go into calmer waters. Yes. So this show, the episodes start off with a season recap i don't know if you guys caught that all the important storylines that we say important right it was

about 11 and a half minutes of the first of the episode uh there was uh they recapped a threesome that never actually manifested itself fake ball snakes and a roller coaster of a romance between reina and whatever his name is. Jake or what's his name? Sexty. That didn't happen. Right. They kind of just cuddled a lot.

They probably fucked. We had the preference sheet where Rachel screwed up on that, I guess, a couple times. Yeah. And then we had the N-word, which was kind of the through line. Yeah. So, you know, I wanted to do some knots for the season in totality, uh, at the end of the show,

but should we just take care of it now? I mean, it wasn't that great of a season. No, no, no, no. You know,

someone asked me the other night, should we watch it? And I was like, I don't know. No, probably not. And, and then it wasn't one for the books.

When I was watching this season, I was like, you know, just by this season, I don't think that this would then tell the network that they need another spinoff you know i made two more two more yeah we're going up to where the norse used to roam oh that's right yeah one's called down under it's australia right yeah and then the other thing i think the other one is called below deck adventure

possibly and that's up in like antar Yeah, that concludes Nick Knows Too Much. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm not doing those shows. Yes, we are. And we're putting them behind a paywall. Fine $5. Go ahead. For the whole season or this season?

No, this. We all agree. Four pots for this season. Right? Four. Well, 72 for him, four for us. Go ahead. Zero.

Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we are talking about this episode this episode because i'm bad hosting i'm 72 for the season i'm 72 for the season i actually thought as far as finale goes especially for this show they've usually been really shit in fact my prediction that this finale would be shit was part of the reason i was so gung-ho on inviting our guests who fucking ghosted us yeah uh but uh that being said this one i felt like delivery you don't usually they try to wrap it up and

make you feel good on when we leave 20 minutes of goodbyes and hugging yeah but instead we get two people swearing at each other and we'll have to break it down when we talk about race but uh 72 knots i enjoyed it yeah and we all did do the work before we came in uh we all finished um a little james baldwin before we walked into the studio so we're well equipped to talk about all this shit trust you me um i loved this finale i thought that we had great rachel moments um she just continues to be such a bright light in this franchise super funny um we saw all that drama with all that uh all that messy shit at the um the beautiful jungle restaurant and the most important thing the thickest silver lining, is that we said goodbye to Lee for good tonight.

You think so? We said goodbye to Lee for good tonight. You think they would have given him a bigger, you know, send off? No, I don't. You're not making me feel bad about all the things I said about him. He said goodbye to Eddie. Why would he say goodbye to Eddie? He's going to see him next season.

No, he won't. He's hanging him up. He's going to invest his money in another crab shack, and that will burn to the ground, financially speaking, unless he lights it on fire for the insurance money. 17 pots. So let's get into it, guys guys what an episode we've got tonight huh i want to personally thank bravo for all of it i think thanks bravo i think we're gonna see

an on-air changing of the guard between eddie and lee i don't think lee's gone quite yet but i like your theory eddie will ask lee permission to enter the bridge, Captain. Last time we left off, Alexander Hamilton had arrived with the ice cream too early and Rachel is pissed. Some of the sea rats are smoking cigs and hiding in the bush, watching it all go down. Before we get back to the beach, though, we've got some of Wes being quiet at another woman that he finds attractive very odd strategy for attracting a mate you weird them the fuck out he seems to do

this constantly and late in the game dude yeah this is the last day of work now you're putting a move on somebody are you really trying to have a one night stand with this person because you know everybody's leaving tomorrow right wes that's not your bag of tricks that you're that's not in your bag of tricks at least you should have started planting seeds a little bit earlier dude because you could be like hey let's not start banging out on the boat that will get weird but i'm setting this up because you know you and i've had this kind of like in a little connection going on we're gonna go hit a hotel tonight but none of that has been no connection she's been there for 72 hours let's move on everything that i just said was absolutely stupid and everybody that

heard that is now dumber it's moot what you said is moot so let's get back to the beach picnic it ends with a couple more shots of the beanie babies they've strewn on the trees there. $60,000 a day. And the charter guests getting hammered in shallow water. Looks like the smiley-faced killer may have found himself a new tropical home. It makes a lot of sense why he's been so dormant in my hometown. He was too cold. The irony.

His greatest ally is what led him to paradise. Yes, yes, yes. So back to the boat, and we've got another Sea Rat talking romantically about the prospect of being homeless. This happens quite often with these things. And by things, I mean the people um i am so i'm so pissed at sea rats tonight i gotta pull it back because some of them are good people but some of them just are not right right right so um we've we've got a pattern here uh we've got riley who was romanticizing being homeless we've got kaylee

now we're talking about van life dylan yes and now rachel wants to get a bus which is just a tweak on being homeless it's a it's a homeless with a bigger home in chef rachel fashion she needs to up the ante she can't just uh live in a van right yeah it's gonna be a broken down bus well i don't know what these uh what these people are gonna do are you Are you just going to vlog? Are you going to go on Instagram Lives and sustain yourself through pickle sponsorships? If I hear Rachel's rolling through my zip code, I'm hitting her up. I'm DMing her and saying,

why don't you pull that bus in my driveway? Why don't you cook for some friends tonight? I'll throw a couple hundred bucks at you. Dude, I would drive to go see Rach in that bus. But Rach is Rach. Rach isn't a sea rat. She's a star. She's a culinary wizard and a star. I'm so happy she never

became America's next top model or else we would have been deprived of her on this show. So Jake and some hole he's looking at have a chat about their future plans. And it looks like a lot of people are going to Miami to wind down after this

and i it got me thinking there's been a lot of kind of hot talk about miami being the new kind of sodom and gomorrah the en vogue um you know sin city of the east coast i gotta come to tapiz i'm never gonna make it there you know it'll be it'll be choogy by the time I get around to having time to go sip piñas on the beach in Miami. You know what I mean? Where I'm not clubbing in Miami in my lifetime. And it makes me sad because it sounds like a hell of a time. Yeah.

Something you would have done before you got married in your twenties. So yeah, you're way beyond that. Way beyond that. Way beyond that. You think you'll ever make it to Miami? Oh yeah, I'll make it to Miami. I've been to Miami. Well, I've been to miami well

i've been but oh you know uh one of those things where you're dating uh a person that you'll eventually marry uh more mystery less history uh made the mistake asked my wife hey you ever been down to miami she said oh like five times and then oh really then there are so many more questions after that answer did it come quick quick? I moved on to it. Because I knew that was not going to go. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. One thing on the Alexander Hamilton thing. All right, so you touched on it,

but so Heather is coaching up Eddie and Frazier to do that stupid thing again. Yes. Lee at some point, I think in an offhanded remark, says he wants to kill Eddie. We've got another pitch meeting in front of Lee, and he's not up for it. He's really, he's not into the cutesy stuff i see him just watching mash yeah pretty much exclusively just watching mash oh yeah or a documentary about the pacific theater like he

just has no old people like what they like and they don't want to hear any bullshit from young people listen they've been there done that, bought the t-shirt. I'd rather watch Ken Burns for a living than, you know, or I'm more on his side than, you know, jumping in a freaking, what do you call these things? What are these vans called? There's like a name for them. Sprinters.

Oh, yes. They call them sprinters, you know. I'm more old school like Lee. Let's kick our feet up and watch uh watch alan alda for a little bit i'm ranting and i'm lost it's fine there's nothing to talk about on the show except race uh forgive me guys i know we've already uh had eddie dress up as alexander hamilton but did the guests ask for their vacation or their entire vacation to they just said they liked it with a musical hamilton and if you are familiar with Alexander Hamilton and the musical,

it concludes, sorry, spoiler alert, with the death of Alexander Hamilton on the opposite end of, what was his name? Aaron Burr. Aaron Burr, the vice president of the United States, killing him. We saw this. They did this. Yeah. Eddie and Jake.

Pat, did you drink too much Pinot Grigio again when you were watching the show? No, no. I was just saying I don't think the guests wanted this. Yeah. I don't think they wanted it either. Captain Lee, when he was super pissed about the prospect of this because he thought it was too cheesy, he did get called on his bluff. He said, the only enjoyment I take in seeing Eddie get shot is if I was the one to pull the trigger.

Heather immediately asked him if he would like to play the part of Aaron Burr, which he said no. Right. So which is it, old man? And also, pretty disgusting of Eddie to take the role that should be played by a black man. Right. Because as I know from the musical, Alexander Hamilton was black. Was he? Brown.

Wasn't it Lin-Manuel Miranda? Is he black? He's half Hispanic, half black. He's like Wes. Hey, by the way, it was a joke because I know the real Alexander Hamilton was a white man.

America has not progressed into a better place. In 1804, the vice president got into a beef with the secretary of treasury i love that you're bringing this up because i think that that is a a clear sign that we've actually gotten worse i love the idea of hashing that out the way they did maybe let's not go that far but we were talking about it the other night, how the English parliament treats accountability and leadership like a slam poetry. I'll be Boris. What's his name?

Boris Johnson. You got caught at a lunch without a mascot. I'm very sorry. And people make mistakes. This man has no place serving this country. We've all suffered as a country. He stands up and just cheers. It's like a fucking rap battle.

This guy sucks. This guy fucking sucks. Yeah. Can you imagine? That would be so fun to do to insert Matt Gaetz here. Dylan, no politics. Okay. And we left that behind over 400 years ago.

All right. So, Rachel cannot control her emotions, so she's going to be feeding on people's souls. And it's at this point where Heather kind of bubbles up her, I don't want to say fatal flaw, but something that she's very preoccupied with that I feel like it doesn't serve her. She has this thing where she wants to force people

to be happier, like her, and be okay. Like, leave it alone sometimes. Somebody's pissed off, take the pole and put it down and stop trying to touch them. Her fakeness is palpable. And I don't know what her motives are. Perhaps the fakeness is with good intentions. She just wants people to be happy.

But if you're a paying customer, you're like, oh, this bitch over here thinks she's fooling me. Hardly. Oh, yeah, beep that, Brian. That was really inappropriate. I think that should be okay. You're saying what the guest said about her. Oh, that's right.

I'm from a different person's perspective. Now we can leave it in. Great news. It could be the guest or it could be your wife. As long as it's not you. Yeah. I don't think that. Yeah.

It's actually disgusting how the guests referred to her. Right. Shame on them. Do you have a point to finish? She's fake. All right. Okay. So, Reyna, they're all eating a little steak.

Rachel is in a rush to knock it out of the park this season because of that kind of express attitude. She has cooked the steaks black and blue. Raina says that she likes it raw when they're talking about the undercookedness of the steak. I'm pretty sure everybody at the table was uh actually thinking that meant that jake had sex with her without a condom well he says something to the effect of i already know that and i was just thinking that's what tipped me off maritime law yeah what an inappropriate conversation to have with a co-worker it's unbelievable uh so reina is called up to the galley to once again help Rach out with another stellar meal. Rachel tells her, I need you to do two things for me.

I need you to shut up and I need you to help me make this dinner my bitch. They don't achieve that because dessert gets very messed up. But before we get to dessert, we have to take a break to talk about one of the finest elixirs in the world you know it very well nick what is it magic mind it's magic mind you procrastinate of course you do you're a human being but you can get better at it with lion's mane matcha echinacea, and nine other ingredients. Guys, it's the last episode of the season. If you haven't tried

Magic Mind yet, marketers will tell us. It's about impressions. You've got to just keep hitting them, keep hitting them, keep hitting them. We want to do good by Magic Mind. They're good people. They're really, really in it to make people better, to improve your quality of life. And if you good by Magic Mind. They're good people. They're really, really in it to make people better, to improve your quality of life. And if you go to magicmind.co

and enter in promo code below deck, you will get 25% off and free shipping, and your life will be better. Pat, how has it made your life better? Well, Dylan, it's enhanced my life greatly. I've shared stories where it's made my love life in the bedroom with my wife. It's enhanced that. Prolific.

My daughter speaks Spanish and French fluently. Three languages. She's two. Next month. Yeah. Uh-huh. And, you know, and there's also the tales of when I forgot to take my magic mind. There was that time where I hit three separate cars and three separate incidents on the same day.

If you do not drink this stuff. Now, we're not saying that it is addictive, but you will be addicted to the zen, the optimism, and the joy you will experience if you take this once-daily anti-procrastination drug known as Magic Mind. Now, I don't want to step over you, though. You've done it.

I step over you all the time. That's fine. That's though. You've done it. This is a true call. I step over you all the time. That's fine. That's how we work with each other. This is a serious call to action. For especially people who haven't given us any money on Patreon. You owe us this. No, seriously. No, listen to me.

You owe us a purchase of Magic Mind. We've been so hard on the cheapos tonight. I don't care. I need to move some product through so we can get this guy to sign up next time. Yes. So fuck it. I need at least, what do we think, 10 of these people? No, we need 500 of you.

We have thousands and thousands and tens of thousands of listeners, so we need at least 500 of you to go to Magic Mind. I'll settle for 25. 25 brave souls. Go to that site. Buy it. Take a picture of it. And then just ask what you want from me and I'll probably do it.

And the ironic thing about him saying that you owe us this is that you're the one that benefits from it. Right. You owe us and owe yourself to improve. Preach, sister. Fucking sister. Preach. I was telling these guys off air, just started journaling. Yeah.

I would say. Very boring, but very happy for them. Well, you haven't seen his notes. Well, he told us what they were. They were horrendously boring, but it's a good, good habit. I would say what I did yesterday and what I want to do today. If you're writing down that you didn't accomplish the things you wanted to yesterday, it's because you're not drinking Magic Mock.

Go to magicmind.co and turn promo code below deck at 25% off. Pat, tell them one more time. Definitely do that or I'm going to be really pissed. Good. Let's get to dinner. Guys, the first two courses. Did we say promo code Lee? I'm sure you did eight times.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. You did it. No, I said below deck. And I knew in my head, I was like, have we possibly been doing that all season? No, it's normally Lee. No, I usually get it right.

So you heard it now. Lee. Lee. Promo code Lee. Lee. Our throats. Lee. I'm convinced that it's Long C.

So many people have this. What's that? I can hear his throat. These headphones are better than the ones you have. Oh, I'm feeling insecure right now. You're talking about his frog throat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, he's all fucked up.

I'm feeling very judged right now. You should see his chest. He chopped his tit off the other day because he didn't have Manscaped. We'll talk about them later, but he's got bruising over his heart now. He's having chest pains. Well, maybe it won't have me around much longer. He needs to go to a doctor very, very, very soon. By the way, here's the deal.

If I pass on, six months of my pay to the family. You know what I mean? I used to clean this cat. We're not splitting the page around with your family. For the first six months. I'll give some to Ellie. We'll give two months to Ellie. Not a full third.

Yeah. I used to. That is so rude of you, actually. My older sister had a big sister from the Little Brothers Big Sisters program. And my grandma and I, my sisters, we would clean her office once a week. It was kind of a teacher's responsibility, put a little spending money in her pocket. And I honestly forgot why I brought this story up. That chocolate.

Great. So let's get to the first course it is crudo it is olive oil pearls and it is radish sprouts i can taste how delicate and flavorful this dish is now delicate and flavorful is a very very tough balance to strike and she nailed it second course question oh yeah what in the context of food does delicate mean um delicate let's see does it mean light usually yes so um it's not overwhelming the palate nick well braised short ribs which i can see how it would combat being flavorful braised short ribs and demi-glace is it doesn't overwhelm the palate but it's not a delicate flavor one bit well you used the word not me what yeah no can i

go please sorry something like radish sprouts olive oil pearls crudo, clean, clean fish. That is something that has a light dance on your taste buds. You know what I mean? But oftentimes... I think I get that with salmon. Oftentimes, these things can be devoid of flavor. Think of jicama, very light, but flavorless. Many of these dishes, when trying to achieve a kind of ramping up to get into the meal, they can often fall short on flavor,

and I feel as though this one didn't. 97 pots. Now, the only issue with this dish is that it's got to be... The only issue with this dish is that it's got to be consumed with those pesky chopsticks. Lee can't figure out how to use these goddamn things.

I feel like he's... What the hell's this? I think it was a microaggression. I don't think he wanted to adapt to that primitive in his mind way of life. It was actually a much more efficient transportation system. I'm telling you, he just watches shit on the Pacific Theater. He gets really angry.

He gets really angry. I remembered why I brought up the chiropractic office. right it was wracking my brain we were talking about uh how pat almost chopped his tit off yeah and then i got a bruise and he should go to the doctor he doesn't want to uh at the chiropractic i'd rather die uh that we cleaned every every week there was a sign and it was framed right when you got in it and it's actually probably any health care providers like what they want to shove down someone's brain uh it said five dangerous words maybe it will go away so you better go get that checked out you're gonna die from losing your tit that was necessary that What a, what a, such a heavy hitting thing.

It's, it's, it's either, it's, it's very effective propaganda. Oh, I don't think it's propaganda. I'm not feeling well. Well then, pull the mic away from your face. You're right. I know. I can feel it too. Scallywags, we almost made it.

It's the long C, I'm telling you. So second course is Kobe beef with a, you know, it's a circus act for the culinary blind. Cheugy. There is no flavor, additional flavor added by it. It's really just no pun intended, smoke and mirrors. I'm getting hung up on the fact that I didn't use an adverb there properly, but

let me get back and be present. Dude, that's why I had to think of that side. It was wrecking me. Culinary brine? Blind? No, that's not. Now it's worse. It's Gabby's fault a million percent quit giving her power done so no it is uh it's a circus trick it imparts really no flavor whatsoever other than the sensory intake through the nose.

But that'll deceive the tongue. What's wrong with you? I want to cough in the mic. All right. The Kobe beef is cooked to absolute perfection. It's not difficult to cook Kobe beef. Sear it hard. Let it rest.

The fat will render itself, and the color will be pink. Go ahead. Minus the ringling brothers that that beef looks so delicious i mean it was it was incredible i my mouth i mean it's no i have lovian response now listen the the the ramekin attempt uh at plating she she tried to french laundry this thing but uh the texture of the mush or the mash that she had sitting beneath the beef just was not stiff enough there was not enough structure in it so it did kind of fall apart and she was frustrated with that and that will carry over into the dessert but delicious dish how can

you go wrong with beef and mash 75 bucks why are you shaking because the how good it looked and i was just thinking about a bed of mash all All right. So dessert goes a little less smoothly though. Rachel has set out to temper white chocolate and make jewelry boxes out of it for dinner. Tempering chocolate is notoriously a very, very difficult thing to achieve in the culinary arts. It's much like emulsifying a hollandaise. It's really about feel and look and heart. And it's really paramount to have experience doing it. This isn't something that you can follow a recipe for. This is like boiling bagels. You got to feel it on the paddle. There's no set time. You got to feel it in your palms, and heart and she is not you know pastry chefs

can achieve this but rachel in a pinch i mean i i think this was just too much for her clearly the white chocolate goes awry uh but luckily for her she's serving trash so she just shit fucking throws a scoop of ice cream on a plate, calls it Cherry's Jubilee, and lights some shit on fire. Delicious. I don't even remember my own preference sheet. Are these people trash? Oh, kind of, yeah. All right.

Hey, Dylan. Yeah. Your review of that dinner service? 100 pots. It's what I've been looking for all season. Yeah, where has this guy been? I've been falling apart that was beautiful though i learned so much it calmed me i'm gonna journal about this tomorrow morning all right so uh lee is talking about the gentle nature of nurse sharks do you want to get into this tale at all i it made no sense or what

point was he trying to make i think he was saying that let's move on so um lee when he has to sit down to these uh these dinners with these people he doesn't care to talk to he's got a mad lip book right and it starts it says name an island name a name a big underwater fish right name something that could go wrong with a boat and then he enters it and then he has a story that he memorizes for that dinner none of these things happen to the man yeah yeah uh unless unless he tells a story about don't failing at opening a crab okay thank god okay um all right we're gonna get to this hamilton thing of course we're gonna get to it right now so uh up comes eddie and sex demon for uh a kind of um what's the turkey leg place called

medieval times oh yeah it's that kind of campy um kind of cringy dinner entertainment but much much more cringy yeah much more cringy it is incredible to me though the commitment that both jake and eddie had like they'd know oh yeah they know like real reservations about looking like a fucking idiot right and herein lies another exhibit towards towards the case for these people being trash. These types of things, you know, we're not trash. I mean, we're dicks. We're assholes. We're assholes.

But we're not trash. And I feel like the mark of people who aren't this way, if you saw this, it wouldn't necessarily bump the tip up. You would be very uncomfortable. Oh, Dylan, I'll tell you exactly what I would do. They'd be 10 seconds into this, and I would say, out. Get out. We didn't ask for this. Get out right now.

Stop it. You know what we would do, actually? We'd get up very calmly. We wouldn't yell. We'd go to that whiteboard, and we'd cross out what the tip currently is and we'd subtract 500 we start at 30k and we just start working our way down who who gets super excited about this shit i mean episode after episode after episode these are the things that really make the vacations memorable i mean maybe i'm too cynical they got their iphones out how do you explain this later on when you're showing this to your

grandma at Christmas? Like, oh, this was the yada. Because grandma would be like, what's happening, Derek? Well, grandma doesn't know what's up and what's down. Oh, yeah. She's drooling on herself. Maybe it's an uncle. I've been thinking about this a lot, Dylan, though, to add a little bit more gravitas to it. It wouldn't be a whiteboard. It be like a uh easel with sheets that you flip over love that that we would pre-write on because then you can do a big tear away rather than it's it'll be anticlimactic to to rub off the i don't want to rub off though and i understand the effect there the tear kind of uh it's concussive and it's meaningful but what i want

is a constant reminder of how far we've come i don't want to erase anything i want to leave all the figures on the whiteboard to see how far we've fallen each and every time they walk past the whiteboard so let's move on uh captain lee says that he's got some captain shit to do so he excuses himself uh lee the dinner's over you don't have to lie just say you're going to bed i say it's been a long day what are you doing what captain stuff are you doing and i level 19 of fruit ninja yeah exactly he's he paused the game and he's just praying that the app didn't close so uh fraser asked jake if he wants to get into porn at some point and then says that there is a lot of money in that and um tragically that

is a fallacy um moving on so i want to hear more about the stats that you evidently well you know working in podcasting you know every once in a while a porn star will come into a show you're working on and they'll tell you the horrifying figures of what they get paid to do unbelievable things for the pleasure of freaks uh surrounding uh swimming on the internet you're essentially by freaks you mean everyone you're saying yes but we talked about it on another podcast show i'm cooling it with masturbation Because I saw somebody put a hand in a button I had to go whoa whoa whoa What's happening to me this is not for me

Go to patreon.com slash another podcast network We get raw Big time Not like Reina No The problem Dylan The people you're talking to Who are talking about how the low pay for the horrific acts

They're forced to do You're essentially talking to who are talking about how the low pay for the horrific acts they're forced to do. You're essentially talking to the cab drivers of the porn industry. No, I'm talking about a Bella Anderson. Or no, what's her name? A Bella Danger. Bella Danger. A Bella Danger was on a show talking about how she gets $2,500 for double penetration. It's like, that's it?

Again, cab driver. You got to get it. No, she you gotta get it you need a star you need a platform and then you gotta know your name you go on only fans you said that weird but yes you're 100 right there's much more money to be made that's what i'm saying you're talking to fucking cab drivers that's not you were talking about two different industries and business models we're talking about porn here nikki Can we get back to the show? All right. So can we get to the next day, please?

Yeah, let's next day. Nicky? Yes, next day. Yeah, how much more are we going to talk about this show? 50 more minutes? Patrick? Not even. Patrick.

There's not a lot here. Nick. We have to talk about race. I don't like to talk about race. Patrick. Will you just let me get through this yeah yeah God

Rachel and Eddie's friendship truly does warm my heart they have a really really good time together what doesn't though is the continued drama of Heather and Raina we'll get to that in a short moment

but we've got a big day today Captain Lee has drawn blueprints out for Heather and Raina. We'll get to that in a short moment. But we've got a big day today. Captain Lee has drawn blueprints out for Eddie. They look like a treasure map drawn by a blackout drunk. He's speaking of popping. This is where we find it. What am I doing? So he's speaking of popping cherries, and then they throw up a picture of him right after.

Did you see this, Young Lee? No. Oh, I did see it. It was right after he had filed for bankruptcy on the last Crab Shack. Yeah, it was 42. 42, new career on the horizon. He was as happy as he had ever been. So get me to Captain Glenn, please.

Please. Get me to Glenn. Or maybe Captain Sean. I think he would be too grating, too micromanagerial. How are you guys going to handle Captain Eddie? We'll see. Yeah, we'll see. That remains to be seen.

To be seen. So speaking of Captain Eddie, he he's gonna get his chance to dock and then he gets that tan that chance taken away from him and then the chance is given back to him and in a um little orphan esters an angry evil prostitute what is it for actually a 33 yearold former prostitute. Type twist. He docks the boat. I could have done it.

Honestly, did you see how much air he had to spin that boat around in? Can I say something with respect? Oh, yeah. I don't think you could. You haven't seen me. No, I haven't seen you drive a yacht. I'm a quick study. All right. I would have been impressed if Eddie would have stepped up and he's like,

I'm going to do this without the bow thruster, okay? I don't need that old man. I don't need the engineer. I'm going to do this. It would have been like a flight. Hey, Brian, when Luke Skywalker in the first Star Wars, I think some part of his fucking TIE fighter goes out, right? And he tells, no, right and he tells no seriously tells

people on alderaan i can do it anyway yeah play that music beat with eddie pulling that fucking yacht in there it'll break the internet brian will do it pat you pay brian to do these silly things you want him to do and i know that you're old and you can't work Uber, but think about it for a moment, pulling that footage and inserting it so that it doesn't get copyright infringement and whatnot. You see what the problem is here? Nick, can you back me up on this?

It is. There's a lot more that goes into it. Okay. It's a disrespected art. Yeah, this man just has a wand and he just wishes things to break the Internet. Okay. So the crew gets the aft deck.

Leave. Really naggy worm towards the end of the season. He goes, everyone get to the aft deck now. He's over it. Dude, it's like the last. Calm down. The guests depart. The crew is elated.

Now the sea rats can get to what they're truly good at, blacking out and fighting with one another. And now I had a note to apologize to Gabby when I said that because she was going to be in person. But I mean it. It really is what they're best at. So, um pat let's get to the tip of the season 17 grand the last tip of the season excuse me 17 grand right uh 1400 each and then lee has to brag that the total yeah tips for the entire season was like 140k well i mean there are going to be

tears shed if he doesn't kind of pump him up a little bit. Because unfortunately for the cast of the crew of My Sienna, the poorest charter guests of the season came at the tail end. Because this tip is bad. It's a bad tip. It's a bad tip. It's a C minus, D plus, enough for Tommy Callahan to graduate college, but nothing that impressive at all. No. You got a D minus, actually. I love Tommy, boy. I love Tommy Boy.

Jake's naked again. Jake didn't even, not to get ahead of myself, didn't even preview the reunion. My understanding is that Jake doesn't even show up because he's got some stuff he's got to work on. What do you mean? I think he suffers from mental illness. Jake? Yeah, he doesn't show up is this a brand new segment called pat knows too much well i was on the internet but but

what is the conjecture part that he has mental illness or is that also part of the rumor you heard did i feel like he doesn't show up because he's working on himself because he's suffering from some mental stuff oh you're okay because he tried to on himself because he's suffering from some mental stuff. Oh, okay. Are you trying to kill him? I'm not saying that. I'm just saying he's not well mentally. He needs to heal. It's all sad.

He's fucking sea rats, man. I'm interested to look into that because I actually also heard that he wasn't at the reunion. But I would have bet dollars to donuts that he was filling a hole. Could be that, too. You just said donuts. It's funny. Right? Didn't do that on purpose.

All right. So moving on. I mean, we are wild tonight, huh? It's the last episode of the season. I don't give a fuck. We officially. Never mind. I'm fucking pissed. Okay.

All right. So champagne is popped. Nikki, let it go. Now I'm also mad i didn't know that notice that donut thing all right come on let's get through this without getting in trouble we're almost there old patty's getting tired here don't that's good doing we're getting in vans now we're going out yeah champagne's popped re Raina and Jake are licking each other's molars, and Wes is trying to drink up the courage to further weird Kaylee out. Daytime vans, though, and we still got that sloppy tongue from two of the sea-raddiest sea rats we'll ever see. Raina and Jake?

Ever sea rat. ratiest sea rats we'll ever see rain i and jake ever see rat so um gabrielle uh uh caribel uh batik i think is the place do you have a trip advisor with you no i don't okay well it's an absolutely stunning location i didn't think we'd need extras like that because i thought we'd have a fourth person who the fuck i mean i understand it's production please when uh ashton and ross were on when we first started doing this they used to let them go out to clubs and restaurants with other people so you could see the sea rats try and fill holes. Okay. It's COVID. We're going to be back next season.

We're going to be back next season. But to be honest, I don't need to see Ashton fuck a poor, poor woman in the back of a van. So here's where we get more. a van so here's where we get more he you know despite it being such a beautiful location the the night really turns sour once we arrive in this stunning jungle we get more heather being um being kind of a grump and forcing people to like her and be her best friend and i know that people were getting on reina's case about uh not letting things go taking pop shots but heather begins this weird thing where rain is like rachel get in the picture she deserves it and heather's like oh is she the only one that deserves it then she refuses to get in the picture like heather what you're 25 years old aren't you you're 25 years

old aren't you you know i didn't think about it at the time but that was a slight on reyna not getting the picture of course so she technically started it and she's done that throughout the entire season like reyna will say like i love you rachel and she'll like walk past like oh you love rachel do you it's like what you're 25 years old aren't you so um this will kick off what is a very very awkward awkward dinner now reina is almost blackout at this point um you can see the lean starting oh and the smoking of the ciggy the ciggy's in the van with oh my god yeah dude it's uh the frontal cortex is i think that's a part of the brain. I just threw that out there.

I have no idea. But it's hanging on to a ledge. And just the last part of your fingertips. It's going to fall any time. It's minutes. So, Frazier tries to mediate because he notices that there's a lot of bad energy reina is saying things under her breath i didn't write any any of them down specifically i don't know if you guys want to cover any specific but she's just saying like we know who you are all this nasty shit reina right

there in the drunken moment uh the drunken woman is saying what the sober woman feels right and that's what's what's going this and where at this point we know unless uh they both get in vans and drive in different directions there's going to be a very intense uh interaction yes and a very inter uh intense interaction we do have um the great night that they're all having will continue all the way to the vans where at this point reina is almost incapable of sitting up straight she's sucking down sigs and the fight then breaks out um i'm not sure over what specifically. Well, well, she throws a Reina throws a line out there that, uh, Heather treated, uh, Kaylee like shit. Okay.

So when I said, I don't know what the fight was over. That's what, that's what got people in each other's faces. But let's talk about this. Heather has this line where she's like a little confused about what this is over. Now, obviously, obviously we know what this fight is about we don't know the specifics about you know reina's snide little comments or what heather said to her but this is only about one thing yeah figure it out papa john figure it out papa john you can't say it okay now reina reina's taking a lot of shit on on the internet deservedly so we've we've had this bizarre thing where she's hugged

heather twice uh said let's move past it then harbors resentment and is very very quiet towards her and then we have this blow up what heather did was very very wrong reina's taking it a little bit too far and it's just not good not good battle strategy america was on your side and i really think that the only reason why heather wasn't uh terminated or uh paid a heavier price for what she did was because of how reina acted at the end of the season um now i well hold on heather should have paid a heavier price a hundred percent earlier like uh yes there's there's big issues with the shows with this show the producers when this happened you know it went to lee it went to eddie the producers knew about it nothing was done and reina should be very very very fucking pissed off about it she is

deservedly so now how she handles it towards the end of the season not great but we heard a story really really messed up abusive story that reina suffered perhaps she's still dealing with that trauma we don't know sure she was a little bit of a dick but you know you're in the right you're referring to reina very early on an episode she's sharing a story how she was beaten by two white people that were saying racial uh horrific things to her beating the shit out of her i can't imagine the kind of psychological shit you have to deal with after that um with that being said alcohol does really make that a lot better now and by the way i've been following her on instagram the whole time uh reina a lot of her stories are about her... They're all

about sobriety. Yeah, sobriety. She was drinking too much. Sex is better now. I can think straighter now that I'm not. And I think that she's basically saying that perhaps some decision she's made in the past behavior was... Bad behavior was based on... Amplified

with the booze. With the bottle. Now Now I've covered this. None of it is an excuse to what she said to us. Oh yes. Yes. So we'll get to Wes. Thank you so much because I'm so focused on Heather right now, but then we get to Wes.

Well, one thing like dumb people just look at things. God, worst analogy is black and white. This person's wrong or this person sucks and this person's the jacksons for example right this whole season there are so many levels to rain his behavior heather's behavior how management handled this like i honestly feel like the the where this started was with captain lee uh there has to be a handbook, even in Sea Rat world with HR,

where if someone says this, and it's got to be reported to the top, or we can get sued. That never happened. Lee, you're an absolute failure. You knew all about this. You knew what you should have done, and you didn't,

because you probably thought, I don't know what you're thinking. You're Captain Lee. You know, again, I don't think a startup, let's do this. An NFT investment startup company in Brooklyn might not need diversity training. I think their entire lives are focused on diversity training.

But maybe we should get a little bit for the yachting industry. I think so. Because there are more people of color coming into it. And this was handled so fucking inappropriately that it kind of sets the table for things getting out of hand of course my i said know what to do when someone goes through this no one can argue this there were three things that could happen with this scenario of of the n word being used it could have been reported to the top. It could have been handled. Heather could have been fired, right? Yep. End of story.

It could have been Raina decides she can move on and move past it. And then it keeps going. Or Raina could have said, you guys aren't doing anything about this. I'm out. And you'll be hearing from my attorney later on about a hostile work environment. Cause he didn't do anything.

Those are the three things, honestly, in a work environment. I like number four, let it do. That is the three things, honestly, in a work environment. I like number four, let it stew. That is what happened. So everyone, there's a lot of faults on everyone's part. I think Raina's behavior, particularly in this last night, was horrible.

I watched 10 minutes of her quote-unquote podcast with her, I believe, a family member. One of the greatest podcasts that's ever hit the internet. I mean, it's truly unbelievable. I'm not going to get ahead of myself, but but reina i know you don't give a shit and you keep saying every other time that you're done with this and you're moving on but yet you keep coming back and talking about it sure i'm not a fan of you right right right uh same i'm not a fan not a fan I wish her well I do too you know like when when Trump heard about

his good buddy Gislaine I wish her well is that what he said is that code yeah I'll have it killed no that's not the code that's not the code

the code is I'll send Dershowitz or something anyways we then get to more bathsheba shit um when wes tries to intervene i think we've covered enough race on this show but um she tells wes that he really has no part to play in this conversation because he's not really black. Oh,

which alcohol just doesn't help. It really does. It doesn't help. Can I say, can I say something? How much more are we going to talk about race? We're going to move on. No,

like soon. Oh, okay. Uh, on her, uh, say no more podcast. Uh,

another odd thing she did was probably about four or five minutes in i i guess i have no uh no fight in the game or whatever like i have no uh what do you call it no game in the fight no fight in the game but she uh she essentially brags that she's the first black person to be on below deck right categorically false and then she pauses and says well there were some black people from europe that have been on the show yeah yeah making a distinction right that you're not black in my that's how i read it right unless you're black in america yeah sure you guys the same color of me that are on a different con you're not black right i think that might be a little um racist uh there there there is a huge divide she should have said african-american it was what she meant oh there's a huge divide in this country between uh uh people of african

descent and and this descendants of slaves i got you uh where whereas uh i believe but reina doesn't know she She's going to find out. But I think that if she would have said African-American, I think that would have been, her point would have been taken. Right. But instead she disrespected Z, Lexi, and I'm sure there's at least two more. Simone.

Simone. Can I say this? Raina's probably 25 or 26 and drunk uh i never said stupid stuff about race in my 20s yeah but i sure as hell yeah it's a funny time when we're we're bombarding one another with urges to talk about this shit and it turns out that it's just not that fucking helpful so let's move on to jake and reina they have one last good night and i hope that jake had his stuff cleaned on there because baby it's valentine's day around the corner you do not want to have mushy gushy gross hairy great job stuff down there great job okay, how do you get ready for Valentine's Day?

Well, the wife likes me to have a little bit of hair, which is why those trimmers for Manscaped come in handy. I like to just shave down the bare little thing, be completely naked. Did you say the bare little thing? Yeah, yeah. Is that from the Jungle Book? Yeah, yeah.

But the wife likes a little bit of hair down there when we're going to get intimate. So I got to use one of those trimmers. I leave about an eighth of a quarter of an inch on there. Turns her the hell on. That's the bare necessities. Sorry. All right, guys.

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Let's get back to the show. So, next day. Next day. Fraser and Raina. Excuse me. Jake and Raina try to get a little fuck on in the morning. Directly above the person she called not black enough the night before. Extremely rude.

What a tough night yeah yeah not a good 16 hour stretch from uh from reina and we know what to expect from jake and this is a little bit of a double standard thing but he's a sex demon he sees holes everywhere not people it's perfect you can it's expected behavior from jake so um reina is going to sort things out with west fear not she does so by continuing to tell him that the kind of racism he's experienced doesn't count oh so the sea rats depart and do we want to go over any memorable goodbyes? You guys want to hit any of them? I'd say the one between Raina and Heather. They hug it out, I guess.

Yeah, so Raina and Heather hug it out. Kaylee is quickly leaving the boat with the goal of, once again, being another homeless person. And when Rachel leaves, it's a sad goodbye because we won't see her for some time. And Lee tells her that he didn't get the same meal twice from her. And that she should put that on her resume. How would I format that, Lee? That Captain Lee of Below Deck didn't get the same meal twice?

All right, Lee. We'll miss you. Maybe Nick is right. He really wasn't doing good with those one-liners this season. The ad libs? I make a lot of hay with those things. There wasn't a lot to work with this season. Right.

Right. You know that intimately. What was I right about? Lee's retiring. That was him. That that was me I'm tired me too I want this to end okay guys

so Fraser departs I really hope we get to see him as a chief stew in the future I hope that the rumors of them grooming Heather to kind of be this next queen of the sea Kate Chastain are not true because the real queen of the sea is fraser i hope he is the chief stew for next season um jake departs with him i was looking forward to see if they fucked on the zoom reunion because andy loves to pull that shit out of people yeah andy cohen does that

thing where he's like hey are you gay it's very intrusive but Jake we wish you well Heather Rachel and finally Eddie leave who was thanked by Captain Lee and made fun of for being short they then talk about how Eddie is getting tapped to kind of you know maybe take over one

day and that's when we get an earnest goodbye from Captain Lee and I do think it's the last time we'll see him and we'll do a in memoriam or some type of final recap maybe we'll get him on the horn yes i to equate it to a current event we're not going to put a lot of uh stake in in uh or stock whatever it is in an adam schefter tweet okay we're gonna wait for the official announcement to come out and then we're gonna you know wish him we're gonna do our it's been a long night guys and it's been a long season

don't tell anybody to watch this if they ask say skip this one i don't know what number it is but skip this one because it's not very number it is but skip this one because it's not very good but we had a hell of a time doing it and we can't thank you guys enough for listening each and every week but you got to support us now well the part quote quote exactly quid quo quo go to patreon.com slash another podcast network join us there for every season of sailing out if you want to listen to that and get prepped. Tons of interviews with charter guests. So much below-the-deck content.

Five dangerous words. I don't have $5. Five sad words. And you guys didn't want me to get into this, but if you don't have $5, that is a huge problem maybe i'll find more ways to come up with five bucks of course you have to help these people um guys thank you so much for the support of the season we grow each and every season of this show it's because of you

that we keep doing it we like hanging out but we love that you guys are listening and supporting we'll see you for sailing yacht and next week for the, but we love that you guys are listening and supporting. We'll see you for Sailing Yacht and next week for the reunion, but we'll see you for Sailing Yacht 2. We gotta come back for that, you think? I'm excited for that. I'm saying goodbye. Dylan, goodbye. Nick, say goodbye. Bon voyage. Pat?

Arrivederci. Thank you.