Another Below Deck Podcast - Three Pages of Love | Below Deck Down Under S3 E7

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

Dylan and Pat are back to break down the power of Sonya Walger's story, tortoises, sacred geometry, clowns, love, curry and more from Bravo's Below Deck Down UnderTraitors at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetwork YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_

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She's approached. He chats with Adair and he tells her he's been hooking up with a girl every night on the boat, but he's ready to move on and fall in love with her. Yeah. Um, and then he asked her if it is, does this make you feel weird? She says no. Uh, but he definitely made her feel weird. Uh, standing next to a naked clown beating off would be less. And I sounded weird to me, but I wouldn't like it. Clowns are weird to me. I hate them. And I also hate Christmas. I hate Christmas. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, Lowell. Welcome to another BrandsFang new episode of Bad TV. I'm Dylan, that's Pat. Great to be here. Permission to go aboard.

Granted, double granted. Hey, how are you? I'm doing great. The numbers are up. I think, you know what? We need some reviews over at Bad TV, which is the feed you're listening to now. If you haven't left us a review yet, do you mind going over there and just click five stars?

You don't have to write anything. No, I'd appreciate it if you wrote something. You think that helps the algorithm? Oh, I wouldn't venture to guess wouldn't venture to guess how the algorithm works. It's a mysterious opaque monster. Yes, it is. It's the baby shower weekend. Oh, yes, we'll be there. Wow. Are we gonna have a bang in a

no much for you guys. So my wife and I have conflicting Interactions with you my wife said last week you walked out of the studio walk past her while she was getting in her car She said Dylan were coming to the baby shower. Can we bring the kids? She said that your answer was no kids So then I said no no no no let me ask Dylan. I asked you on Friday Dylan Can we bring our fucking kids? And you said, yeah. So what's what's going on with the conflicting story?

Is my wife a liar? Were you high? Well, believe all women. True. But your wife is a filthy liar. Oh, she is. I went out there. I said, are you bringing the kids?

She said, oh, I don't I don't you know, she's all frazzled. She's all frazzled all the time. Yeah, dude, you got to she's got two kids's all frazzled. She's all fresh. She was proud of time Yeah, dude, you got to she's got two kids. It's just crazy It's like way to you way to you got two kids and you will someday. Well, okay, so she's all frazzled, right and I go are you bringing the kids and she goes no, I think that she thought that I was Already gonna say no. I think that she thought that I was behaving as though, in some kind of inquisitor role, like I was trying to nail it to the cross or something.

Like, do you want to bring the kids? Yeah. Boom, no. Roasted. You can't bring them. Which is, I don't have that in my heart. I understand that. I love Ellie.

Anyway, we'll be bringing the kids this weekend. Thank you for saving money on having to pay for a sitter absolutely, um the Entire baby shower Bonanza will be broken down at patreon.com slash another podcast network for five bucks a month Jesus tell him how you can get five dollars. Oh, how can you get five dollars? Let me think here. Uh, Okay. Oh want to hear something crazy. Yeah, did you hear about this guy? And we'll get into below deck in a second. I was going to start off by going into a rest home and actually get a job being, I don't know, like a maintenance worker or something.

And steal from the elderly? No, no, no. That's savage. That's one way to do it though. When the person working at the front desk isn't there, the receptionist, dig into a a person take money out of it? Oh got it got it got it Well, listen, I think that you know Pat's eyes aren't big enough for his stomach if you do want to get a job at a nursing home I think that you could pretty much steal from everybody, you know, they're not very quick on the draw and you'll have much more than $5 Well, I don't think they allow the elderly to keep money on their personal. What are they gonna do with you know? I just full of 50s? They're a cash generation, OK? They don't know this Vimo and this stuff like that. But what I wanted to bring up, did you

hear about this guy that got 50 mil off of Starbucks? Oh, that happened. I see this headline. And we'll get into the bullet deck in a second. Oh, OK. They did a campaign, and he held them to it, right? Like, didn't he... Can I tell you the story, please? Okay, I think I read the same story.

Okay. I see this headline. It says, Man acquires or man awarded $50 million from Starbucks. And I turn to my wife. I go, why can't I singe my leg off for 50 million? I'll take a burn to the inner thigh for 50 million dollars. And then I go, oh, you know what? That is a lot of bread for, so I'm reading the article. It was a Doordash driver, he was handed a tray of beverages. One of them was a tea with an insecure lid.

Ah, okay, lots of those. Unsecure, I guess, when you're talking about inanimate objects, it's spilled on his lap and singed his genitals. He went through multiple operations, irreparable damage. His testes are fried. So Dylan, this harkens back to my child. I would not take 50 million for that. What do you want to need to make you whole?

If we're going to melt my testes off, it depends on if you have kids or not, but if I'm a virile 24 year old man, I mean the sky's the limit, I wouldn't take any amount of money for that. So like to melt my balls off? Your cock looks like Freddy Krueger's face, I understand why you're upset. No, no, no. You know in 1985, can you imagine a young Patty, I'm eight years old, and I'm talking on the school bus and we're talking my buddy Davey Clark, he's dead now. What'd he die of? He had a heart attack while he was sleeping. We were going back and forth about this old bag who's suing McDonald's because a coffee was too hot. Yeah. And that's when I realized this society was a bit too litigious. Then you see the injuries. She had a coffee spill

between her legs that literally melted her legs. Right, right, right. Why are you making coffee that hot? And it turns out the McDonald's had been sued 140,000 times for the same thing. Knock it off. Yeah. You got to knock it off. No one needs it that hot. All right. Let's get into below deck. How did we watch the episode? We watched it. Um, but more importantly, what did we think about the episode? Thoughts or not? Yes, yes, yes. You know, I always watch the show, uh, sometimes I like to record the episode the day that I actually saw the episode, not five days later, but, uh, Oh yeah. Cause I forget all the fun details.

Are you, are you being passive aggressive towards me? Not at all No, no, no, no, no, okay Cuz we do a lot of this Monday night recording we couldn't record on Friday because I had I was stuck in Ultrasounds all morning, you know, these people really don't care that you got places to be no they don't give a shit I mean, it's my now I was present in that moment looking forward to it in that moment. And, you know, my wife gets very upset with me because when I'm in any doctor's room, if they're really late, I'd start playing around. There's a lot of equipment in there.

I just start kind of pushing buttons and stuff. Yeah. There was a needle dispenser that I broke last time we were there. It just wouldn't go back to where. And so she got pissed off. But anyways, we were. I don't understand these goddamn doctors, especially so she got pissed up. But anyways, we ran along. I don't understand these goddamn doctors, especially

in this field, the OBGYN. You have an appointment. You can gauge. That's going to be 20 minutes. Schedule their days better. Yeah, but there are a lot of questions. You know, so many questions. Then go, I got to go.

Wrap it up. No, no, no. Email me any questions. Now, the beautiful and magical women working in the OBGYN departments across this country, you can be late. I'll tell you who can't be. Dermatologist.

Get out of here. What am I doing waiting an hour and 15 minutes to get scar cream from you? They're fucking around is what they're doing. It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. Looking at what new car they want to buy on the web. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bet you it's a it's Alexis and what other industry does this work?

I show up at a restaurant and I'm sitting down on my table waiting to give my order Waiter can just show up when he gets to it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the entirety of Europe But and lots of other places too, but you know, that's why you got a tip keeps them honest. Anyways, speaking of we spoke about this with Chef Serena. Oh, yeah before we plug that. Yeah, I'm doing it. You plug it. We had a great interview with Chef Serena. If you want to know what her relationship with that bastard. Wow, that was that was juicy. Oh, yeah that bastard wow that was that was juicy oh yeah the Lord sheffy Anthony she told a I always ask the question what's the craziest story you've ever seen oh that's a good one her is involved a pretty horny captain

that was always do and you see you hear what she's up to now and no great episode I think it's like 20 minutes or we'll be dropping however long it is we'll drop it later okay thoughts and knots mm-hmm there were some surprises in this episode for me down that I didn't see Cubby that's very exciting I thought that crazy love letter which production spent a lot of time mocking fucking was going to be his undoing what is what is Kevin spacaceman's name in Usual Suspects? Riddler something like that? Why did you have to ask that? I'm sorry. Saize, Sursay. No no no I know it's Kaiser Sussay. Oh his real name. Yeah but when his limp

straightens out you know. Oh god I don't know. That was essentially like when when his limp straightens out and when Adair like, I think this is really sweet. It's pretty much the same thing. It was so shocking. It was quite a twist. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not gonna say it was Darth Vader as Luke's father twist,

but it was up there. That was a big twist. Wow. You know, I was finally on Instagram and I saw, finally on Instagram, I'm on it all the time but I finally saw someone echo my fury and my sentiment towards M Night Shammy Man's Trapped. The first person that said are we all just gonna sit around this guy spent 20 million dollars for a promotional commercial for his daughter I

mean what are we doing here thank you I feel seen what were the other surprises this episode? Oh, I don't remember, but I could shit all over that movie trap for like two hours. I love how the movie should end at some point. Oh, no, we got 20 more minutes of nonsensical plot. It should have ended when he thought, you know, I could make a movie to further my daughter's

career. That's when it should have ended. And the genius is he probably got investors to pay for. Oh yeah. Yeah. Couple of pitos in Europe going off. Finance your movie. M Night Shammy, man. Oh man. I loved, what was that? Breaking Bad. Yeah. That was a great movie. Yeah. All right. Did you give your dots yet? No, I didn't even give them.

Okay. Give them. Audience is going to get pissed. I think we're 15 minutes. And we haven't talked about the God damn show yet. Oh, wow. It's been fun, though. I enjoy talking to my buddy, Del. Pots. What were my pots? This show continues to be just a hearkening back to the show

that we loved. There's so much inner turmoil. There's so much strife. I think that Alicia has really come into the show as, you know, the show needs heart. You know, we talked about it with Love a Blind, Love a Blind all the time. You can't just have a cast of filth that's Floribama Shore. You need some anchors. You need heart. Right. We've got that in Alicia, I think. We've got that in Alicia. I think we've got it in Johnny, you know There are pillars of genuine good vibes aboard this vessel I you know, she does have heart and I also she has a little sass. Oh, yeah, there's a plenty of on this

Yeah, I love when she told V hand to fuck off make his own fucking honestly out of my seat Metaphorically figuratively I have never gotten up out of my seat one time for this show but 90 pots great show great season great season. I'm totally enjoying it that surprise We already pointed out the that the fact that a dare was not completely grossed out and dare I say creeped out One if there was an HR department perhaps Dare I say creeped out one if there was an HR department perhaps Speak to someone in that department. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also how old we man like what how old is that? We'll get to it. We're all children

40 knots so we start off with a little maya culpa from the J man the Greek Looks like Aphrodite was pushing him a little too close to Alicia's face. So what you're referring to as after knowing her for 5 and 1 half minutes, he tried to stick her tongue down her throat. Yes, his. His, that kisser. Right.

I think he's in the galley early this morning to, in fact, see if she plans on bringing charges against him. Oh, yeah. Failing her out. But she says no. She was cool with it. I don't know why you seem a little caught up on charges. This is the world of Sea Rats.

There is no. I understand that. I understand that. But I guess you never know. This is a target. You know. Well, that's a great point. Because in any other work environment

This would be completely unacceptable as is when your direct supervisor composes a very creepy motherfucking love letter to you. Yeah, and there are a lot of Kind of rolls of the dice before we even get to bending that letter that are grossly inappropriate But you know, I was thinking what kind of I think you should leave sketch would it be to do this show but for target employees? Okay, so meanwhile, meanwhile, jet ski arrives, we in and Laura have a chat about Serena. And then we get a little C rat history.

Oh, okay. Well, so Laura checks in on Vyhan's rather chaotic love life also. And he appears to be playing the field. Yeah. And... Knuckleball of love. I think... Oh, he was referring to Zarina in the kiss that they'd shared.

And I think he says, look, she threw a vag in my face. What was I going to do? Not motorboat it? She'd be offended. This is where I wish that we had producer Kaelin back so he could flag that moment. Because otherwise, I got to go back and listen to it. And I was like, when did Pat talk about,

when did Pat say that disgusting shit that came out of his mouth? And I was like really pissed because I was going to have to edit it. But now I'm like, it's so late. And you know what? I'm just going to leave it in. That's what Vyhan said, in quotes, in essence. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's basically... Those quotes are working overtime. Well, I'll say this. Yeah. He blames it on Zarina because it's like, what am I supposed to do when a woman's throwing herself at me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're supposed to return the favor. That's right. Unless they get very offended. Okay, so we get a little C-Rat history with the Sioux. It's a tale as old as time, masking the isolation of self-discovery, or I should say drowning it in booze. Well, Dylan, I think you have the first word self-correct.

The other word you have wrong is self-destructive is the word of the day. Well, I don't think you heard what I said. What did you say? I said, what is this? Self-dructive is the word of the day. I don't think you heard what I said. What did you say? I said, what is this? Self-discovery. Yeah, the isolation of self-discovery. Because we're all, at the end of the day,

you take that journey alone, right? People can put imprints on you and nudge you certain ways, but you take that journey alone. And it's a scary journey a lot of the times, and that's why sea rats flee to the middle of the ocean. That's right. Now, Dylan, she may have mentioned the d word discovery, but she also mentioned that she'd been on a path of

quote unquote, self destruction. Right. And for a sea rat, that's like a kid admitting they like ice cream. No shit. Yeah. Okay. So well, apparently she has a twin sister. I think a couple different sisters. Oh yeah, well one is a twin, and they were besties, and now she's learning how to live life on her own. It's worth mentioning, they never mention the dad, but I think we can make an educated guess

on why she didn't mention him. He's nowhere in the picture. You know, I finally, you remember when I talked about that Sonia Walker book I was reading? Oh, right, yeah. Remember Sonia Walker? Mm-hmm. Guy, get to the end of this tale, right? I think this is a true story.

Her father, bit of a scumbag, right? Argentine dilettante. He goes skydiving. He becomes obsessed with skydiving. He's one of these manic children. Okay, okay. Check this out. Okay, so he goes, this is Sonja Walgars father. Okay. All right. So he hits the deck pretty hard one day. Oh, because evidently it takes two rotations to slow you down to not terminal velocity. Leg just explodes out of his the bones. They explode everywhere, right?

But he lives. He lives. But it's that injury that sends him into a spiral of depression. They have to chop his leg off. Oh, man. Because medicine wasn't what it used to be in the 90s and the 2000s.

So they chop his fucking leg off. He goes, I want to kill myself. Sonja Walger says, don't do that. I love you. You've been very absent throughout my entire life I think they had like you could have a like a wood peg leg the technology well yeah yeah he got used to the prosthetic he said all right I'm not gonna kill myself and then one day strident stubborn mule of man right is

up on a rafter with one leg trying to like string a light or something falls dies by accident by accident sonia walgars dead wow crazy story now that's sad now that's sad but alicia's story zero on the scrat scale nice try she also mentions before she lays out this rather pathetic Sea Rats ad story that she has no actual experience in the kitchen. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Buried the lead. Can't cook.

Make those steel pots that you're watching shine, baby. Ew. Why'd you say it like a fat cat? I was doing it like an imitation of a jerk supervisor Laura is still very pissed off and Marina Quite the eagle as she can spot a fucking disgusting loose hair in the middle of a bet I mean that Wow, that's disgusting, but I got a regret man. I would never have seen that. Mm-hmm It's kind of like superpowers stuff

All right So we get to is this where we get to Harry and Brianna bouncing back and forth telling where they think they are in the relationship? No, this is where I think Laura or Marina accuses Weehan of going through the entire roster of women. Yeah, so that's actually the next thing. So Weehan chats with Zarina and Laura joins in, and they joke about Weehan being a kissing bandit. Yeah, he's actually the next thing. So Veehan chats with Zarina and Lara joins in and they joke about Veehan being a kissing bandit.

Yeah he's a kissing bandit. And then we we find out in this episode that Zarina's like I don't really care. Yeah. I'm just having fun. Yeah I'm just bouncing around. You know what? You accept people as they are, right? Don't wait for people to disappoint you and if you take them as they are they're gonna be making out with other people in between having sex with you. Yeah, a million percent, but he is smitten by love. I don't know if you, do you wanna get to the big red and hair-bearer thing before we get to the?

We'll get there. Patty wants to tell the personal story because Harry and Brianna are not on the same page. She wants him to pick up the pace and or she's gonna move on if he doesn't. And he thinks everything is going fucking great. Typical guy. Senior year, college, me, I'm dating a girl named Summer. on if he doesn't yeah and he thinks everything is going fucking great typical guy senior year

college me i'm dating a girl named summer right before we're about to go on christmas break summer summer my mom mom called her sumner i'm like mom you never she calls my wife sherry i don't know okay anyway i i think that's what the kids call a micro aggressiongressive. That's right. Yeah. But how long has she known Sherry? I've been with my wife going on 13 years. 13 years. But to be fair, she called the hippie white college student by the wrong name. All right, so Sumner, Summer, right

before about to go on Christmas break, we start dating. And I'm like, hey, have a great Christmas break. I'm really enjoying spending time with you. And I was like, I can't wait to see him when we get back. Now. So Christmas breaks in college are a month and a half. Sure. I get back the first day, get off the plane, drive up to campus, walking around trying to find summer. She's a little cold to me. I'm like, Hey, what's going on? She doesn't want to talk to me. And then I learned like days later, she wanted me to call her over Christmas break and all this. And then she tells me, I got a guy that I was from high school. He's coming up to stay at my dorm for two weeks. I'm like, Jesus FH like I know it moves so so fast the heartbreak. I didn't realize that I

should have been more attentive. Guys are dumb. Okay so anyways, Adair is approached. I think is this what she's approached? She's approached? She chats with Adair and he tells her he's been hooking up with a girl every night on the boat but he's ready to move on and and fall in love with her. Yeah. And then he asked her, does this make you feel weird? She says, no, but he definitely made her feel weird. Standing next to a naked clown beating off would be less. And I know it sounded weird to me, but I wouldn't like it. Clowns are weird to me.

I hate them. And I also hate Christmas. I hate Christmas. Yeah. are weird to me I hate them and I also hate Christmas. I hate Christmas. Yeah I hate the thought of that. That is so scaly. Oh my god. But yeah so think about this. Your boss comes up to you and he kind of vomits out all the trials and tribulations he's had with the other women aboard the vessels, aboard the vessel, and then professes his crush on you. Weehan is, this is just not how you operate in places of work. If you worked at Target

and you did this and I think in most cases even if the girl was like he's I'm attracted to him would still find this as vile behavior and he would be fired they wouldn't wait till Friday. It would be. No thrown out of the building in 20 minutes. Yeah. When I worked at that insurance company, this was all over the place. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Because insurance companies are essentially like yachts. Kinda. Yeah. I mean the walls close in. You all meet up and binge drink after work. That's right. No. OK. So Adair is not into him. You all meet up and binge drink after work. That's right. You know? Okay, so Adair's not into him.

She thinks that he's, I don't know, gay or something. Okay, so, preferential meeting. Pref- And a three, four, five. Pref- Friendship meeting! Okay, some kind of crime person. I think lawyer crime person is coming aboard the vessel. She's bringing all of her lady friends and they-

From around the world, I love it. From around the world. And they're going to Le Dic, a tortoise sanctuary. Oh my god, man, do I love a tortoise. I do too. What stunning, stunning creatures. Yeah. They just fire away in complete passivity and wisdom for all their life.

They pointed out I did a PMZ on this on this tortoise that was almost 200 years old. Yeah, poor bastards blind. Yeah. He's 200. He's two centuries old. Yeah, it's crazy to think but one would ask why do you live so long? What do you have to live for? Oh Lettuce all day they like lettuce I

Got a purpose of life, right? Should we learn from tortoises? Yeah, I think we should learn from tortoises You know that their shells have sacred geometry. Like a tree? Trees have sacred geometry too, but it's a little bit more loosey goosey. Tortoises have real concrete lines of divinity strewn up and down their back. Listen, we love a tortoise. Yeah, never buy a tortoise, I'm tell you as an animal person because you're gonna out

They're gonna outlive you and you got to worry about their future if you fall in love with them as a child And you will fall in love with them. They're so gosh darn cute the way they bite things. It's just amazing All right. So a dare asks Johnny if he's been to the Waffle House. That was a low percentage. Yes Just gonna say that we in breaks House. That was a low percentage yes. Just gonna say that. We and Breaks from Work to write a letter. This break is about 30 minutes long and it is about them on a perfect sunlit day with country music playing in the background while butterflies are fluttering in his tummy. Listen, I know the cast listens so I don't want to be too... I think they understand. We're basically joking about

it. Yeah we're joking. How dumb is this guy? I know, he's an idiot. I mean what are you doing writing this letter man? Well, don't pie on our faces. 100%. You know, maybe we're just not brave enough to do something this stupid. No, I've done stuff this stupid. Yeah, me too. I thought it wasn't on camera.

Well, when I was in fifth grade, I did. I used to ask this girl, Carrie Denike, to go to Roll On America every Sunday throughout the summer of 1985. She said no, she'd do this thing, which I appreciated. She goes, oh, this is Pat, because you know you call,

we don't have cell phones back then. And she go, let me go ask my dad, hold on. I'd be anxiously waiting, is Carrie Danik going to come to Roll On America? She's pretending to walk. Yeah, she probably did like the beats, right? Yeah. And she's like, dad said I can't go. Yeah. Damn it. All right well I'll call you next Sunday. Okay. God. You just soak in that

Americana of that tale right there and you just you're really long you know. Now it's all DMs and dick pics that's right you know I mean I can saw them and way better back in the day all right so we get ready to greet the guests we and is still talking about the letter Caroline and the Cougs arrived though there are some many of them it looked like there were 50 of them question did one of them as they're getting the tour of the vessel, say that Captain Hot Jason was checking her out? I think so. I do too.

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Yeah? Asteroid. Oh, yeah. That's not just life. That's the solar system. Bad movie, you could see a bad movie. Yeah, we all bummed out about it afterwards. Yeah. And then an asteroid could hit you. Oh, but listen, you're going to get through all of that. If you have reliable, quick, easy, nutritious meals in your fridge. Pat, what are some of your favorites? Well, some of my favorites are everything on their menu

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Anyway, where are we? Go ahead. All right. Meanwhile, the heads of both departments and chat or something and Zarina and Alicia. Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. One thing I'm noticing here. sorry, my notes are a mess, is Zarina is getting along swimmingly with Alicia. Yes, Alicia has the perfect attitude and she has no idea how to cook, so she is perfect

candidate for Zarina. God, I mean, I'd be so pissed if I was Jason. You know? Okay, alright. Alright, so this is where Vyhan, it only took me eight episodes to say his name correctly. You know, the fans have lamented that we don't give them that many nicknames anymore. Right. Well, it's not, it's right, but I mean, we should really do something about that. I'll work on it.

So he reads his insane letter to Harry. Have you ever had a buddy do that to you? Mm. Nope. I had a buddy do that to me once. My god, it was like chock full of personal stories. Oh, sorry. I'll move it along. No, no, no. I love it. I sent this text to this girl cause she's confused me on what's going on with

the thing. And he reads it to me and I said, you use the word heavy petting in that text. Are you out of your fucking mind? Yeah. What content? And you can't take back a text. What context was that? Well, he was asking, uh, you know, we've been on five dates and we haven't kissed or done any heavy petting. And I was like, are you 85 fucking years old? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's trying to be. He's trying to be cute. Yeah, that was a wording for him that I think was

being polite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not. No, it's weird. Very weird. I let him know that not as weird as a naked clown beating off next to you. That is so fucking weird Okay, so we have a little trouble with the door. These ladies are getting tanked pretty quick They're falling on the floor and they're stomping on each other's hey, they're having a great time They're having a blast and then we get to the well, this is where he's reading them the note I love that Serena's just filming them doing absolutely nothing The guests have requested traditional dance, so what they're gonna get instead are

three boat employees in Silver underwear shaking their their little boot their little booties around. Listen, we talked about it last week. This stuff works. This stuff just freaking works. The Sea Rods know how to do it. So the J-Man's a little bit more micromanagerial this episode. He's like, you love a chat, huh?

You know, he's really getting after them. But then we get to Laura and we in Laura hates him yeah and we in is not the biggest fan of her this is what we love this is what we need you know what I mean bumping heads with department absolutely especially at the top you know of course we need some tension in the various departments, but when the two factions that run the boat are warring, now that's conflict. True. Where do you side?

I'm somewhere in the middle here. I think Lara is leaning a little too heavy on the decky department. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm more like Johnny, like, you know, let's not mope, let's not blame. Let's have some good vibes Let's get some good fucking tips man Which makes me ask why in a later episode in the season is that young man punching a wall?

What you're gonna have to stay tuned I guess so because I'm also Very confused about that. I am it's got to be over Alicia. I think someone gets fired. That's all I'll say. But anyway, uh, she, uh, he says there's a gray area and then she just thinks he's a lazy piece of shit and not passionate about, you know, can I say something really quickly? Yeah. Your menage a to in the DMS with all these Sea Rats is really harming your ability to focus on the narrative of this television show.

Oh, you think so? I'm distracted. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I have a frog in my throat. I, you know, I don't, I don't talk to them. I remain pure, clean and innocent throughout this whole process. You're slipping things out to the audience that people might get fired. I mean, it's, it's a conflict of interest, I think. Oh, I didn't say any of that stuff.

I think you did. All right, let's get to dinner. Well, I was going to say, Vian has a workaround for Laura's mandate that they need a little help from the deckies. Because she said, I see them standing around. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a fix. OK, here's the fix here.

When there's nothing to do, right, but you're still working, pretend like you're doing something. That's the way you get out of doing dishes. Yeah, I mean, we'd love to have you on the show. But how this guy is bossing, I have no idea. He's a deckhand. He is not a bossing. Yeah.

Not a bossing at all. All right, so martinis to start dinner. I can see a pretty cranked up BAC tonight. If you start with martinis, you're going to get ripped up. Oh, yeah. Marten's like three shots of gin. Well, that's why you just use it as a sipper for like an hour. Yeah, or half hour.

So Alicia made a little curry for the crew. It is inedible double dog, double dog dare food, which is perfect. Okay, I felt bad for them. They're working all day long and you make inedible food for them. Yeah, sad. The poor guy has to sit there and eat something that it's like burning his throat. Yeah, I mean, as I two spice cucks, I guess I hate spicy food. I mean, we yeah, we would not. I would throw a conniption if I was served something far too spicy. Not right.

Not right. Not right at all. Okay, I want to make another observation here. I was not crazy about the crew shirts that they made them wear to serve dinner. Did you catch that? Tacky. They look like they worked at the White Lotus Hotel. And that's a Tiki bar. Yeah.

I like it. You a big Tiki guy? Tiki? Yeah, you a Tiki guy? I like a pineapple drink with a little booze in it. No, I know, but are you a tiki like, you know how- Are you referring to the bar down the street from me? Well, LA has these like tiki haunts that people go to.

You know, yeah, there's one down the street from me, and then there's one near you on Sunset that I think the bar only fits, it's a bathroom size. Well, that's what I'm saying. All of these tiki haunts They're tiny and there's like it's like a trying to get on the fucking Matterhorn To go in and suck down rum. You know what I mean? And they get pushed around you can't even enjoy your goddamn drink Yeah, people are screaming and there are like regulars there. I'm like, how are you a regular? Who just goes and drinks my ties all the time?

Be a fucking Vietnam veteran like what's going on here? All right, anyways. Go ahead. All right, OK, so where are we? That about it. OK, so Marina has a Dara. She has a type. A Dara, based on her description of what she's into,

I think she should date Kid Rock. Yeah, 100%. Which is the exact, well, not that different than Vian, I guess. Yeah, I mean, Vian is the Mini well not that different than uh, vihan I guess. Yeah, I mean vihan is the mini cooper version of kid rock but if you're pissed about a cultural issue perhaps um and you want to you know let's say take your ire out on a stack of bud lights i'll be right there with you of Bud Lights. I dare I'll be right there with you. That was so cool when he shot all of them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he is. He is the best. Yeah, he's great. You know what, that loser. He played the

MTV Music Awards two years in a row for some reason. I don't know why they booked him two years in a row. He did the same song. That bow which he bowed about about the body boot with the bank then in 2010 he showed up there again. Right. You'll never guess what soggy before. I bet he was like, I'm a fucking artist. I'm going to do back down south. I'm not doing bomb to bomb. And there was some producer that came out they went kid that's not what these people need you're doing the bow to be the bow beady beady yeah I hate this what a talent okay so um yeah she has a type it's evidently

Hicks chauvinists but it hasn't been working for her which is the gate opening on her love for weien. Local chicken curry with pineapple kicks things off with open Hawaiian shirts. Oh by the way, little tease, Dill did not let up on Zarina in that interview with her. Oh I kind of did. Went in on her a couple things. All right well I mean you know we've got to keep it we got to keep it honest we've got to keep it honest. We've got to keep it saucy. OK, OK.

It is saucy. Lots of saucy. Oh, it's saucy everywhere on that one. That's because it was on the preference sheet 8,000 times. I'd like to see those preference sheets. Dillon, you were talking about the curry. I was talking about the curry. That's right.

And it's curry. And the people come out, and they have their shirts open, and their abs are out. And before this, it's important to note for the record, let the record show, Wien is giving a Spartacus moment pep talk to the boys as though they are about to land on Normandy, okay? You're not gonna be pissed off when you got 2, 2500 bones coming your way.

Okay, so that's important to color this next thing that happens. They get in their little shorts and they come out for dessert, which is rum and coconut cake. I love rum and coconut.. I love rum and coconut. I would love this dessert. You are a big, big tropical fruit dessert guy. Not only that, I like smushy wet. And I can just taste that rum in that cake. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pineapple upside down. Oh, yes. What about a tres leches? Oh, are you kidding me? Yeah. I even buy those from the grocery store. Oh, that's so wet. That's a wet, wet cake.

It's very wet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyways, we in kind of polls a times out kind of moment. Oh, I was I was ready to be an ally Despite Despite showing his naked body at every goddamn opportunity at this very moment. He feels Exploited. Yeah, I meant to say times up. But yeah, we and who former Yeah, I meant to say time's up, but yeah, we and who former employee of multiple months at Beef Cheeks is now really upset that he was objectified in this horrific manner. He feels like a piece of meat.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you are. You're a C-Rat. All right. Dinner was two courses. I don't know if that's editing. If it's not editing. You're a C-Rat. All right. Dinner was two courses. I don't know if that's editing. If it's not editing.

Let us know. Three pots. Can't serve people a Korean cake. Call it a day, right? We can't do that. All right. So, Adair's got mail. She goes, ugh, long letter.

And then we read down. I don't know what this fucking hoedown, night's tale royalty free music was. It made me feel like I was around a campfire with Kid Rock shooting those Budweiser, those Budweiser's. That iconography of liberal fucking cuckoo bear shit, you know? And then instantly transported to the Ren Fair for some reason. The music really threw me off. I couldn't ingest the love.

Pat, was there anything really romantic in the letter? Not absolutely. He just rambled on for quite a bit. Nothing of note here. Well, looks like it worked. Well, I'll tell you how he knew it worked. It's the next morning and a dare and him meet up and they hug and she says they'll chat later and to quote Lloyd, it's from Dunham.

So you're saying there's a chance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And apparently she is. Is she she though? She didn't say no and she didn't run to HR although that would be a mission that would be pointless. Let's talk later is usually a fairly ominous Well, they're working, Dylan. They're working, but she should remind herself. This is your direct supervisor. You could easily when they can get you in trouble. Yeah, yeah, he could fire her. I mean, we had a Sea Rat combo with a boss and a deckie where they would literally have sex in the tender.

Do you remember Ross? He's the guy that reached out to us and said, can you stop talking about me, please? Oh. Oh. He was having sex with that Sea Rat from Florida? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah was having sex with that. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Quick little, uh, little pants down, bang, just kind of get thrown over the railing real

quick on your way back to work. Okay. It takes off the edge, makes you a better employee. Yeah. I mean, listen, there's a lot of tension, a lot of stress gets built up on these, uh, on these, uh, on these on these on these boats yeah okay so struggling to find words and that means well that's really been the entire episode but that means that it's time to wrap up okay and we wrap with making sandwiches for this picnic and getting on our excursion to Le Dinc. Wien is kind of a little,

dude where's my car about the whole thing? He's not really looked up how long it's gonna take for them to go about this adventure. He just kind of throws out a time, 12 o'clock, and it looks like they're gonna be anywhere from three to seven hours late for this lunch with clotted cream, and there are flies pissing and shitting all over the food.

That's right, this is what I'll say, I'll warn any potential employers, never hire someone that is just falling in love, they're gonna be completely useless. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, just a a lovesick puppy and lovesick puppies do insane things, right? You know, we've talked about it before. I used to cry a lot when I was courting my wife, a deer walk out in the open so that drunks like my uncle hub can shoot them.

I used to leave my job and still try and do my time card. Like I was working that day, but I was in my car, uh, calling my ex girlfriend overfriend over and over. Sumna? No this was Lebanese La. Okay but I don't think any of us have ever done something as crazy as what Weehan does to close this episode out. Weehan decides that he is going to make Adair a cheese plate. Now first things first, why? What's a gesture of love? No it's not. It's it's not.

Can I say something? Chakotary boards are so 2024. No more cheese boards. We're over it. You know what? We need to find a new thing. I do think they had a great run. Chakotary boards had a good run. I'd say that Chakotary boards were the hot new young thing on the block probably 2018 to 2024. Oh, Dill, I went to a night before the wedding thing and

someone put a platter in front of me in 2011. Oh reallyikurri. Oh, really? Now, I'll not kick a chikurri out of bed. I mean, if we're doing it at, let's say, a winery in Tuscany, and they're making the salami, I mean, I'm going to cry. This is so beautiful. But if we're at Laurel Tavern, and they're buying Trader Joe's prosciutto and slapping it on a fucking piece of plywood, get out of here. But anyways, Weehan needs a cheeseboard to profess his love to a dare and he asks

the new sous chef to do it for him which I'd argue it's a small boat that would get out there the how thank you I going to say how this works with the ladies. Right. This is John Likus. I teach men how to get more ass for less money. Right. Um, you have to prepare it yourself dear. That's how women work. Okay. Because they don't want to know that you paid someone to do it. Someone else to buy your flowers. It's about putting you to work dear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Tom's gotten a little older, you know?

He was, I think, kicked off to restaurant radio in the early 2000s, but he's still going. He's on AM. The fact that he asked her to do it, instead of asking her to, would she help? Yeah. That's the mistake he makes. Yeah, no, it's a disgusting pig shit move, and the thing about WeeN that's the mistake he makes yeah, I know it's a disgusting Pigshit move and the thing about we in that's really fucking annoying actually is the melodrama and sensitivity that come

after things He's like that. Yeah, I think he stopped short of calling her a b-word Yeah, we got to find out how old this guy is because if he's in his 20s it's still disgusting but he's definitely not and so it's like kind of one flew over the cuckoo's nest kind of shit. He's super behaving inappropriately. Get in the comments, get in the reviews, steal from the elderly and go to Patreon.com. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, steal from the receptionist desk. There's always a purse sitting there. Okay, steal from the receptionist desk and don't get greedy, okay? No, no, just take, take five dollars. If they have a butterscotch. And some gum. Yeah, take a butterscotch, take some gum. If they have those strawberry candies, leave those, okay? Those are hard to come by. All right. How about some Mentos? What was that? It's either rain or an earthquake. I felt like an earthquake. Mm-hmm Peppered with those things. The world's gonna end. Yep. All right. Enjoy it. I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat say goodbye Love you