Another Below Deck Podcast - Toilet Love | Below Deck S9 E12
Episode Date: August 20, 2024Dylan and Pat are back to break down toilet love, rock climbing, being named Scott Scott, leaks, wineries open in the rain and more.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube a...t https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcastGo to MagicMind.com/BelowDeck and Use code BADTVGo to BodySmartFitness.com and mention the show in your application. Use code BADTV in the Tropical Smoothie AppÂ
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She says there's this thing that Joe does he looks at her
They lock eyes
Geez, you got to put up more of a fight than that. I mean that's and lots of people look at people
I mean, it's it's one of the major ways we look at people. You know what I mean?
You know, I miss being young and dumb. Yeah, I really do. Yeah, it's a simpler time
You just fucking walk into a wall and beanbag right off of it,
go take a shot, throw up, and have sex with someone.
Or say stupid things like when we lock eyes,
I completely forget that he treats me like shit.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, hello, welcome to another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast.
I'm Dylan.
That's Pat.
Permission to come aboard.
Granted, what is going on with you on this lovely Friday afternoon?
Well, I'm drinking a little early, Dylan.
Okay.
Yeah, I had a stressful week working and whatnot.
Poor baby.
Yeah, so I'm going to drink. You know, I've been so
good for about five months. It's time to fall off the wagon.
Yeah. Get drunk. Well, let's get some bumps, some bruises and
suck down a couple high news. Hey, that's right. Now, I want
to update the audience. I have reached out to the previous
charter guests to get their side of the story. Okay. They have
yet to respond to me, but I have. It's it's, I think, who cares at this point.
I guess so. You know, old news is no news, right?
Is that?
I don't know.
So, you know, maybe we'll talk to that person, maybe we won't. But what we will do is put
this episode without any ads at Patreon.com slash another podcast network. We will also
cover The Bachelorette there,
which the last episode of The Bachelorette was so funny.
I mean, me, you, and Rubes, all in the stew,
just talking about a 20 minute wicked,
the feature film integration in this dating show,
which was crazy.
And don't forget that idiot that got tossed
because he couldn't form a sentence.
I believe his name is Sam
Yeah, by the way Molly and Jason they were the bachelor a date nation couple that was on that radio show part of that bit
Yeah, they said it was even worse in person. I can't believe how that's possible
Yeah, so go to patreon.com session of the podcast network
Lots of really good content ad free content all of it is there we have an episode of below deck to get into I
Don't know why there's plenty to get into. I don't know why.
There's plenty to talk about. I don't have a lot of notes on this episode.
Me neither. Dylan, I'm sorry because we don't have a lot of notes. We need to
buy away some time. I want to do a tease for another podcast show behind the
wall at patreon.com slash another podcast network. Forgive me for the plug, the
second plug. I'm gonna drop some interesting stories. Matthew Perry was, he
died about like eight months ago.
I had predicted he was gonna die two years ago
and then he died so Patty has a crystal ball with dead people.
Yeah and again, you know, you say you have a crystal ball
with dead people but that's a little bit like, you know,
so what if I say,
Someone old you're gonna say?
No, but that makes sense.
Who's the guy that shakes from back to the future?
Shakes from back to the Michael J Fox. Oh, yeah. So if I was gonna predict he's gonna die. Yeah,
I mean, it's essentially the same thing as predicting that Matthew Perry is gonna die.
I mean, it's literally a coin toss. Yeah. So you forgive me. Fair enough.
Forgive me in the news today and we'll get to below deck in a second.
Matthew Perry and I should say Michael J Fox is a brave courageous man who has brought a lot of light and
Education to a horrible disease and I'm sorry that I said that he shakes him back to the future that was well
You also said he'd be dead soon. Well, I mean I
Think the first thing was the worst right? Well, I looked up to him as a kid in 1984 when he was on family ties.
I'm like, I want to be like Alex P Keaton. Yeah, I dressed like him for the first day of school in the sixth grade.
We all wanted to. We all want to. He was so funny and cool. Yeah. Anyway, so Matthew Perry,
he died of a ketamine overdose about eight months ago. You gotta do a lot of ketamine. A lot of ketamine. He was a drug addict.
Yeah. So five people were arrested today including two doctors, a personal assistant and someone named the ketamine. A lot of ketamine. It was a drug addict. Yeah. So five people were arrested today, including two doctors, a personal assistant, and someone
named the ketamine queen.
Boy, watch out with what you call yourself.
The cops will be coming looking for you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So anyway.
And her friends all said, I think that this is a little too high profile.
I think that you should kind of lay low.
Call yourself the K queen.
And she's like, well.
I wanted it to be louder.
They're like, well, I wanted it to be louder.
They're like, well, you shouldn't because, you know, cops will come looking for you.
Well, my wife, two years ago, worked for a high profile client, not on the same
level with Matthew Perry, but kind of around there. And this particular female
client said, hey, go pick up my prescription. My wife looked at it and it
was under a fake name. Yeah. And my wife said, I don't feel comfortable doing this.
And she said, no problem.
Two weeks later, she was let go.
Well, we'll break that story down.
I'm going to break that out.
That's the tease.
But she could have been an accessory to murder.
She'd be, if that woman died, my wife could be up for manslaughter.
So it was a good call.
Which, great, Norm MacDonald, but that sounds way worse than murder.
Right. But it's not. And
we're going to get to below deck in a second. My second story that I'm going to share on APS,
which you guys need to pay $5 for, is today in the news, busy news day, I'm looking at the news
as I normally do. And a news story headline says, the son of Creedence Clearwater Revival, the band,
the drummer, the son of the band Creedence
Clearwater Revival, is wanted for murder because he killed his girlfriend.
And he may be wanted for a second murder.
And as I'm staring at the picture, I said, I know Brent.
I played in a band with Brent 30 years ago in college.
Did he have dead eyes?
No, he didn't.
He was like a hippie dippy.
He was one of those like, he lived in a house that his dad paid for that he was never around and we'd always
practice in his living room right and he killed his wife or girlfriend. Well you
know sometimes you have a hard life and you just get pissed off and you know you
kind of fly off the handle a little bit and start killing multiple people. That's
right well anyway that's gonna be on another podcast show and that's why you
need to subscribe because we tell and break down amazing stories on that show. Yeah and then I think I'll talk about like parking
etiquette. There you go, well-rounded show. Yeah, yeah exactly. Okay I'm ready to get started.
So let's get into it. I would give this episode, you know, it's a middling 67
pot. What am I saying? There was a lot of fun stuff. I'm going to give it 69 pots because it was a sexy episode.
Um, Joe has revealed himself to be a tool bag,
bit of a tool bag. Um, cheese.
It always breaks my heart to see like very loud signals.
I am a fucking douche bag and women still, what is that?
It's like nuts to me it's young
stupid love yeah yeah we're all guilty of it a lot of leaking a lot of rain a
lot of heartbreak a lot to gain it's 69 pots yeah this episode was kind of like
all over the place it didn't have a beginning it didn't have an end it was
crazy yeah um yeah Jono Jono is growing on me.
I'm starting to like him a lot.
Oh my God.
MVP of the season.
Yeah.
And I thought it was a decent episode, although, oh, another piece of below deck news or a
piece of below deck news.
Chef Dave is engaged now and I'm so happy that he could actually show up to something
that he agreed and planned to show up to.
That's good of Chef Dave. Now Chef Dave is going to make an appearance later in the season.
I hope it's just as a guest chef to cook Sandy and her lovely fiance's meal for their celebration
and not that Jono gets axed and Chef Dave replaces him.
I'm putting this out there right now. I don't care if he's on the show.
How many times have Chef Dave been booked to be on this podcast and he doesn't show up?
Probably two or three.
Three.
Yeah. If Dave is on the... I don't want to talk to Dave.
I'm not going to talk to Dave again.
Dave, fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on you.
Fool me three times, shame on me.
And George Bush.
You fooled me twice, you shame on me. That's your well now George Bush you fooled me twice he's
shame on that's your bush yeah okay it's good how many pots do you give the
episode 14 is this a rough start I feel like we plug the patreon for like 15 no
no they enjoyed it cuz I don't know what I'm gonna talk about I have two pages of
notes I normally have six well last we left off we had to have a sit down with
sir Ellie calls him sir, Joe.
That's right.
Ellie, don't call him sir.
Call him Groucho, don't call him sir.
He tells her that the data's not gonna work for him.
He feels like it's too much pressure.
And Ellie is confused because he liked her enough
to make out with her the night before,
but not enough to sit down and have a conversation with her.
Yeah.
I wanna spend some time on this.
Okay.
So this is a very uncomfortable interaction between the Balkan Biscuit and Joe, in which
he rescinds his participation in the date that he's already accepted, right?
Okay.
You can't do this to a girl.
Girls are not used to this.
This isn't in their DNA.
Men were used to rejection.
We are used to being embarrassed. Yeah,
are you saying that men play more of a volume game than women? Oh yeah, yeah, law
of averages. You just ask out a bunch of people and you hope one of them says yes. I mean,
rarely will go zero percent. Right, right, right. But for the Balkan Biscuit, I actually felt for
her here and it was especially painful to watch her kind of suppress what I believe what she was
really thinking. So when she said, you you know I don't want anything serious either her
really her inner voice was saying can't believe you're rejecting me on national
TV you motherfucker yeah yeah that's her inner yeah yeah well I you know I just I
just kind of want to have fun in life so sure sure let's just have fun no no no
pressure tonight her inner voice her monster voice said I had a fucking gun I
blow your fucking head off you're doing this to me on national TV you motherfucker
that's so crazy that she's like a she's like a cracked out Guinea internally
right okay yeah yeah she's a part of the mafia that's very very interesting yeah
no a couple things about this like well I think that we can understand coming
from a man's perspective like oh no I is, I don't want to lead anybody astray.
I really have no interest in this whatsoever.
Um, what happened is you were too big of a coward to say no when she initially asked
you.
Maybe it came from a good place.
She didn't want to reject her on camera on the teak.
But um, now that you've said yes,
what is 45 minutes out of your day?
You can lay out all the things that you need to lay out
at that dinner table.
You can say, I'm only interested in having sex with you
after I've had four to six cocktails.
And you'll still sound like a dick,
but at least it'll all be kind of there out in the open.
Yes, I agree with that.
I will say the young people, when they're in their 20s,
they hold Fridays and Saturdays and free nights
very precious.
Oh, yeah.
It's like the hour and the sand is running.
I'm never going to get another one of these.
But I will say, with you, Dylan, I'm with you.
Just go out for the 45 minutes.
Don't do this to girls.
They really internalize it.
I one time turned down a blowjob.
You would have thought I killed this girl's family.
She was so hurt. Oh my god, you can't turn down a blowjob. I said I'm good. And she was deeply hurt and offended. Oh, I completely understand. I mean, that is a real olive branch. Seriously. And call it a job for nothing, you know, and you turned that down. I mean, it's very hurtful.
Yeah. Well, by the way, when he parts, he says, hey, you don't hate me.
I hate when people that just did something really hurtful to you
try and get back some kind of.
You're not mad, are you?
No, I'm not mad.
I'm just going to cast a curse on you and your family for the next 100 years.
May you burn in hell.
Well, the way that Joe behaves is a betrayal to the masculine.
You know, this is this is not something that is.
It's just this is just not good behavior. Okay. So, um,
we get to, and Gail is losing respect for him now. Look out.
Oh yes, Gail. Yes, yes, yes. You think he's a Dick and you explain this by saying
that this guy, I mean,
he just wants what he wants and he doesn't care about another person's feelings.
Gail, I love you, but does that sound familiar to you?
It doesn't sound familiar to me. Cheese is doing recon. She's a paranoid one, huh?
She's always got her ear in the soup can.
She's a little nutty, this one.
A little bit.
I asked to get her on as a guest. She's already working on another boat.
Oh, good for her.
So tonight, Nathan.
She's fucking up someone else's laundry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tonight is, we're going out, so Nathan is going to dress to impress.
And that means dressing like your favorite, Dwayne the Wayne Johnson.
Dwayne the Wayne Johnson.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. He I don't know kind of what
transpired wherein he thought that
Looking pretty much exactly like joining the Wayne Johnson was a good thing to do
But he changes, you know, it reminded me when they brought up the Rock. It's like boy I really wanted that season three, you know of young rock. Oh
Thanks for clarifying because I didn't know, you know, the young rock.
Oh, right. Yeah. No, he actually explains that outfit in one of the episodes.
That's how deep they went into his fascinating life history.
Young rock had two seasons. That's right. Oh, wow. Nobody watched it.
Well, the first season they did got him the second season.
Okay. Yeah. He's really not that interesting of a person. Yeah.
And Terra Mona's piss. piss yeah it is piss yeah
i guess career is going down the tubes and i helped i helped do that you did you did i started the
revolution like i was screaming from the rafters three years ago hey the rock sucks people were
like what are you talking about he's awesome oh yeah Oh yeah, dude. You're like the Hannibal to his Rome. I mean, just a constant adversarial pressure.
And people looked at the Roman Empire, AKA the rock, and they said, how could somebody
like Pat take him down?
But I did.
You did?
Thank you.
Bravo, sir.
So let's hit the vans.
Cheese hears the story of the refusal and is just repulsed and disappointed in jail cut to a toilet
20 to 25 minutes later, and she'll be telling him to stop being a fucking pussy and
Yeah, throwing it throwing in me, baby
Throw it in me, baby. So um we yeah, I was as I wrote this
I was like I'm interested to see if this deters anything in the future
It does not we get to dinner and we get some real Sea Rat sad scale stuff
I think maybe not real Sea Rat sad scale, but I think we might be charting with this story from Joe
Well, let me break down the Sea Rat history from Joe
Okay, and this is why he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship
His last serious relationship was in 2017 and it didn't work out because all his date nights were in his car because that's
where he lived. This burger's delicious do you mind passing the ketchup? Sure it's
in the glove box. That's not gonna work out long term. Yeah so he- Can I just say
this about dating someone while you live in a car? Yeah. The car sex is bad too. You
get a good role going second
and third base but you go for fourth base. You got your fucking foot stuck in a drink
holder. Or worse your shirt catches fire in one of those cigarette lighters. Next thing
you know you're both fucking dead.
That's a real final destination way to go. I mean a, I mean a lot of dominoes have to fall in the right way for that to happen
How did he pass away his teeth? Well, he was banging
And his t-shirt got stuck in between the clamp of the light second. Wow, they're absolutely crazy
Where does this chart though on the sea rats had scale a man living in his car?
Hating himself getting fat having to break up with somebody
because he hates himself so much.
Normally you get a 0.5 just because you're
living in your car.
But the very fact that he was able to still get laid,
that then brings it back down to a 0.
So you're saying.
He wasn't destitute.
You're saying essentially, oh, you know what happened?
What happened?
You know what's happening?
What's happening?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's what happened.
He's a big baby.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hang on.
Shut up.
Why is this?
It's so there's okay. If listen to us at patreon you know that
there's a ghost in here that's right we know that there's a ghost in here now
that whole audio thing I can't chalk it up to really anything other than the
poltergeist that exists in the studio that was Hillary she lives here
Hillary yeah she's a witch she normally hangs out in the arcade game Golden Tee.
Right, right. I don't know, she likes golf or something maybe. Yeah, yeah. That's what her husband liked to do before she killed him.
Uh-huh. So she lives in there. Yeah. So I want to apologize to everybody for that.
Another reason to go to Patreon, we will be covering that the studio was haunted
by a ghost named Hillary who lives in the Golden Tee arcade game. Yeah and she
killed her husband and I'm excited to hear how she died but we don't have time for that
right now. We have to get to Aisha who would be bestowing upon Scott her last
name making his name Scott. Scott. You know no judgment people do whatever they
want to do but, that's crazy.
I know Kermit's going to be mad at me for saying this.
I think she listens.
I don't think, I don't see them to get out.
Oh, I do a hundred percent.
You think so?
Yeah, absolutely.
And then there'll be those people that are like,
this is my husband, Scott Scott.
He took my last name and you're at a dinner party like,
you people are nuts but lovely you
know but they're just kind of the kooky kind that's right they're the kind of
people that can get in a van and drive around for months on end shitting in
buckets and eating tuna fish it's crazy so Joe and Ellie have a good chat we're
at the dinner yeah okay at the dinner and Ellie says
You know upon him realizing that this is what their day could have been she says how
Could he chase away good pussy? Yeah, how can you chase away good pussy? Mm-hmm, which is like
Okay, I mean
Okay, wow. That's like, you know, like, okay, Lil Kim. You know what I mean?
So Ellie goes full Al Pacino insomnia and drags Jono into the bathroom. This guy is
so lovely. He's grown on me. It took episode 12 to go, you know what? I like you. Maybe I got, we got off on
the wrong foot. Everyone can go to him and be better for it. Asia, their, their morning hellos
are just so warming. Uh, Gail can go to him with outfit stuff. Ellie can come complain about
paranoid relationship. He's just steady as a rock. That's right. Or a cucumber. So the we go dancing.
She says that is this with the Balkan biscuit, Ali? No, not yet.
She says there's this thing that Joe does. He looks at her. They
lock eyes. Geez, you got to put up more of a fight than that. I
mean, that's lots of people look than that. I mean, that's...
Lots of people look at people. I mean, it's
one of the major ways we look at people.
You know what I mean?
You know, I miss being young and dumb.
Yeah. I really do.
It's a simpler time. You just fucking
walk into a wall and beanbag right off
of it, go take a shot, throw up and have
sex with someone. Or say stupid things like when we
lock eyes, I completely forget that he treats me like shit right so hot. Yeah, yeah miss that
So gail and Nathan are gonna go on a date
She's very emotional about her relationship with Nathan and we love gail
I kind of turned a corner with the two of them
You know we were quite cynical about their love and still are. Oh, you have to be. They're Sea Rats.
But I don't know. I kind of ship them.
Well, I do too, but don't.
Yeah, I don't know.
Because a relationship built on a foundation of, dare I say, they were smoochy smooching a little bit before she ended that relationship.
Infidelity.
It's not a good way to start. Infidelity is never a good thing to break ground on, right? And then build, but
Sea Rat infidelity is, I mean, essentially like building a mansion on a marsh.
Yeah, it's like building a relationship on a jello. It isn't a foundation at all.
Yeah, you'll sink into the jello. Right. All right, let's get to the next thing that happens. After that, we'll talk
about an amazing company called body smart fitness. The two
leads have a seat Ian is very Michael Scott in this moment
sitting with Asia. He's in a Hawaiian shirt, he's bouncing
up and down and he is completely oblivious to the fact that the
interior of this vessel is inoperable. I appreciated
that the interior of this vessel is inoperable. I appreciated Kermit's candor because the most would say, oh my department's great, because you know they're not competing departments,
but certainly they you know you'd kind of you don't want to admit that your department is a mess.
This is where I don't think that the Robert Greene has helped you. I mean it's helped you in certain
ways, but what is what there is literally no competition between the two of them in any way, shape or form. I don't think so.
Well, perhaps just the concept of that being that they are heads of departments,
you want to see that they're both running a tight ship.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess Ian could say, you know, look at my guys, they're fine.
Look at her guys. They suck.
But I think she helped him by saying, oh, no, my my department's a complete mess.
Completely.
It helped him. That was a good that it's a good Kermit.
And we'll get to it later in the show. But we continue to do this thing where
how Ellie or excuse me, how cheese has a job.
It's getting to the point where I'm like, they're messing with us.
You're fucking with me, right?
How is, how is this person still hired on this vessel?
I like how they framed it like a few episodes ago that she is so on the low end of the wrong
that she's unfi-rable.
No, no, no, no, no.
Yeah.
There has to be a fireable offense.
Yeah.
At some point or, you know, a cumulative offense
that results in one big one.
We measure it as one big offense
with all these little kind of bites at the apple.
But yeah, Asha tells Ian that,
no, I very much want to maim and fire my crew very badly.
I feel horrible for Asha
because she's been just crushing it lately. Okay well a little bit more. Bri and Ellie have a chat wherein Cheese
apologizes for the whole Joe thing. She apologizes for the entire season really
and Ellie says that. She approached her aggressively to try to break through the
defensive shield which is not really an apology but quite cathartic
cheese then says
a she almost warns Ellie about
Who Joe is and calls him a flea?
Well Dylan they bond over being able to bury the hatchet in multiple past arguments
But also they bond over having
a common enemy temporarily until one of them will be being finger banged over a toilet
roll in about eight minutes.
But at this very moment, they are bonded.
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Okay, let's get into the alliance that is very short lived.
Yes, because cheese goes to drop a deuce and Joe follows her in the bathroom.
Yes.
And he gives her those eyes again.
Yeah.
The man she referred to as a flea finds her in a toilet five minutes after rebranding him as a kind of annoying insect.
But those eyes, as you mentioned, Pat, he's essentially like Medusa, you know?
Yeah, it's not a snake coming out of his head.
It's those fucking eyes.
Yeah, it's those eyebrows.
And when you look at them they kind
of animate and they start to slither like slugs and you start sopping. I mean it's crazy the power
this guy has. They hop into the toilet and I'm not really sure what transpired. I don't I believe
fluids were exchanged. Fluids? I think so. Oh I don't think so. He washed his hands. No I don't, I believe fluids were exchanged. Fluids? I think so. Oh, I don't think so. He washed his
hands. No, I don't think so. You don't think so? No, I think what happened was like, you know,
okay, so like, okay, should we do it? Should we do this? Well, I don't know. I don't know what
you're gonna do. I will say it seemed odd because it seemed kind of as gross as it is. I don't want
to have sex in a bathroom personally, but it seemed like it was getting hot and heavy in there.
And then suddenly, it completely changed.
Yeah, I think so Joe realized that maybe he wasn't
as full of blood as he wanted to be.
And maybe he looked around at this dark room that smelled
like shit with her leg hiked up on a toilet almost falling into the bowl and the blood drained even further and he was like you
know what it's a bad idea and then she really went full Eileen
Warnows on him and was like be a fucking man that's right or I will be Bree's
Bree was pissed yeah she was we wanted to get torn away in that bathroom.
Yeah, women are more selective than men.
It's a special occasion when they decide to give it up.
Not like us.
We'll just throw it into anything.
Well, no.
So yeah, that's what happened.
We get a little transparency with Brie.
I think we get back in the vans.
I think we've all had this person in our lives,
someone that kind of cranks up the impulsiveness in you
and you become what Bree describes as not a good human.
And that's the state that she's in right now.
We head back to the boat for some nits.
I was almost sure he was gonna go boomerang right to Ellie.
Yeah.
Because would not put that past him in a second.
But alas, we just end the night with a text from Cheese,
we should talk in the morning.
You know, no one ever texts and says,
let's chat in the morning,
and it's gonna be something good.
Yeah.
No one ever says, hey, let's chat.
And then you chat with them and they go,
hey, I wanted to give you a $10,000.
Right.
It always ends up with you sitting in a chair saying,
you do have AIDS.
Always.
It always ends up with you sitting in a chair
saying you do have AIDS you do have
I mean, you know what? I think we have been incredible today. I
Mean such a good podcast
Dude I don't know what it was this morning like I just all day I've been in such a fog.
Really?
Yeah.
I've been in a crappy mood today too.
Yeah.
I feel good now though.
Me too.
So we wake for the next morning there are storms on the horizon.
I actually love Nathan's little date idea, rock climbing.
That's fun.
Well, he frames it as he wants to do something that is fun, dangerous, and adventurous.
And I was thinking, why don't you go find out
where Gail's boyfriend works,
drive over next to the boat, go, hey, Jim!
And then start making out with her.
Because you could get the same experience out of that.
What do you think?
I think he was looking for something a little safer,
but he definitely was like, what's something
that's gonna bring us closer together?
And what's an activity where I can just, just kind of like stare at her butt
for most of the afternoon.
And he finds that in rock climbing,
but all joking aside, it's a very cute date.
I'm excited to get there.
Okay, so Cheese heads into the laundry room,
chatting on the phone with a friend.
Yeah, oh, this is, all right, so you thought Sandy
laid the hammer down on those charter guests last episode.
Boy, put down the phone.
Basically orders her to...
And by the way, Cheese deserves it.
I just think she should be fired.
Cheese walks into a laundry room in complete disrepair, talking on speaker to a friend.
Now while Sandy is ironing her own clothes,
very hideous orange garment,
but the fact that this is where I'm looking at this
and I'm wondering, are you fucking with me?
Because she feels so comfortable in her mediocrity
that she's just, I mean, I don't blame her.
She's been doing this the entire season
and there's really been nothing punitive
sent her way whatsoever.
I think if we ever get a reunion out of these people,
which we never do anymore, they'd say,
all she was really bad at was laundry.
She kind of got her shit together with doing the cabins
and good with service. This was the one thing that people were focusing on is how horrible she is here
Well, we have a conversation with her for the 111th time
I was going to say Nathan heads up to ask Sandy if he can take gale off the boat and this is honestly
When I was thinking is he kind of like?
Is he cute?
Nate
not like Is he cute? Nate? Not like,
aesthetically, I'm just like, is he
a little cutie pie? I mean, he said
he was getting nervous about it, I'm like, is he cutie?
He's a cutie pie, but let me
remind you about five episodes ago when
a producer asked him, how do
you feel about her having a boyfriend? And he basically
said, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, he said, fuck that guy.
Fuck that guy. Yeah, so maybe he's not
cutie pie. Maybe he's maybe he's not a kiddie pie. Maybe he's
Maybe he's just a fucking see-through also
Nathan maybe you listen, maybe you don't maybe some of his family does you should go see a hair specialist
You are going bald. I'm sorry you are
He is I don't want him to lose his hair before you know, cuz a lot of guys
They're good. Yes, we're proactive about it. We gotta be proactive, right?
All right, so high-key fiasco. Jono doesn't want pretty to get fired You know, cause a lot of guys, they're good. You have to be proactive about that. You've got to be proactive. Right.
All right.
So high key fiasco.
Jono doesn't want Breed to get fired.
And he's doing his best to be like, you know,
figure the fuck out.
Get it together.
Can't be completely incompetent.
Sandy calls Asia up to the bridge.
She wants to know, she wants to show Asia
where she's going to propose to her fiance.
And it's very adorable.
But I'm thinking, are we going to talk about cheese and laundry
for the 111th time?
Because this is insane what just took place.
Well, they get to that.
Bri is in the movie Clueless right now.
She's Alicia Silverstone walking around this boat, just lighting shit on fire and going
shopping.
And they're just like, what are we going to do?
Maybe fire her.
I don't know.
I mean, listen, she's fun.
I don't necessarily, I don't want her to get fired for the show,
but it's just crazy that the boat didn't fire.
Anyways, Dead Horse.
She speaks to Aisha about this and says,
I want you to find out a way to get her through the season
because you are standing
for all of your meals.
This is where like, again, I like Bre on the show,
I think Bre's great, but as this is an actual
work environment, how are you looking at Asha,
not sleeping, not eating, working way too hard,
having to do 50 different
things that she's not supposed to be doing already understaffed
and not solve the problem.
Hmm.
It's it's nuts to me.
Well, maybe they take a page from my book. I never liked
firing somebody I always felt bad for him even when they
fucking deserved it. So that could be a little bit of cool.
You're a little sweetie pie.
I'm a sweetie pie. Yeah. So so hey don't we have a new stew coming on wasn't that teased last week? Yeah, pretty cute blonde named Carrie
I think yeah, she's she's got a fire someone that she's already shared fucking from Liverpool or something. Oh great
Why do you say it was so much disdain? No, I'm not in love with that accent. Okay, it's tough
I love this new season of Love is Blind UK.
It's still, and it's really good.
You should enjoy it now that you don't have to take notes on it
or recap it.
It's so much more an enjoyable experience.
And people want us to cover it so badly.
But guys, Love is Blind is a gauntlet of work.
In time, yes.
It's just, you know, we can't do it.
No.
All right, so Gail is heading out for the day.
I love John of the resident gay
Vital men in women's lives. They are not attracted to them
There is complete security and they can tell them honestly that jacket is not going to work
You know you you need that you do because it's hard for
Men who are in relationships with women to be as blunt as is sometimes necessary.
Yeah. Women almost enjoy being critiqued by gay guys. Yeah. My God, I look like shit.
Yeah. Wow. Yeah. They love it. Can you imagine a husband telling her that? Yeah. I don't
know if that eye line is working on you tonight. She's like, I fucking hate you. Well, maybe not that, but I had a gay moment the other day.
And it, you know, one gay moment, one slip up.
And now, you know, the families are laughing about it
and it's turned into this whole thing.
But my wife walked downstairs
and I don't know what came over me, but I said,
oh my God, why is your hair so flat?
And, and yeah, that was my gay moment, but but her hair was flat. Okay, there you go
She has voluminous hair, but something was going on that day and I apologize. So um the
Prefers sheet meeting. Well, we we mentioned that
Jonna's the MVP of the season. Well, I wouldn't say he's the MVP. Oh, I was doing an okay job lately
I would say he's MVP of the season. Well, I wouldn't say he's the MVP. Oh, I wouldn't do an okay job lately. I would say he's MVP of the season. I'm so sorry. I'm skipping so far ahead of my notes.
We're at the preference sheet meeting. Yeah, preference sheet meeting. Preference sheet
meeting. These are getting shorter and shorter. I remember these affairs used to at least
take up two minutes of an episode. Yeah. Not anymore. No, it's 28 seconds. Yeah. That's
it. They just give who the
primary are and what they do and what they want. Well, the primary is going to be Pamela Duke,
a nautical themed jewelry line she is the owner of. These vacations are getting way cheaper.
How do you make that much money with a nautical themed jewelry line?
That sounds like a neighborhood gals event in like a Florida retirement community.
That seems like a fun website that you and your husband put together.
Yeah.
And you show up to flea markets to hawk this bullshit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But not a flourishing business that pays for a yacht trip.
You're not John Legend.
Very confusing.
So they're going to be stuck in the dock obviously because that happens probably
one out of every four charters. So rock climbing, very cute. Gale, very hot. I
don't know. I kind of love the two of them. Yeah it was fun seeing the six and
nine year old scale those walls making him look like a complete wimp. Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, heights are scary. You know, I was at a
summer camp when I was a boy and there was a child who had stated that he was
too scared to rock climb and you know all the kids and the counselors were kind
of engaging in this like you need to push past your fears kind of mindset and
they were wrong to do so because that child got to the top and he was so scared that he could
not belay down but he was scared enough to begin shitting oh that's right i mean shit flew down
from the height of the wall and splattered onto the ground and he was ridiculed for the rest of
the summer and i don't know what happened to him but well i bet when he was probably like 24 he's
like wow enough times past i bet i bet everyone he was probably like 24, he's like, wow, enough times passed.
I bet.
I bet everyone that was there on that fateful day has forgotten that horrible memory.
No.
But not you.
No, no, no.
We never forget something like that.
I also have a climbing story.
Eighth grade, Dale Dimitropoulos, who is also our high school football coach, you piece
of shit.
Yeah.
Hope you're dead.
He had-
And you don't say that about a lot of people.
No, no, I don't.
And Dale, who's the gym coach, the 40-year-old gym coach,
and I'm 14 or however old an eighth grader is,
I'm holding a rope.
It's called top roping.
When people climb, you have to have someone holding it.
I'm holding it, but the guy is so fat, this kid, Phil.
Hey.
Let's go out of my hand, and I kind of still hold on.
He doesn't fall to break his neck or anything, he definitely falls. Dale Tymotopoulos
comes over puts his finger in my face and says you're an idiot what the hell
you doing like you're an idiot you're an idiot you're the 40 year old here you're
an idiot God I hope he's dead I hate that guy. I'm sorry.
He really impacted your life.
He's the guy who grabbed my football helmet and swung me around in front of
like 80 other adults that didn't file charges against him.
He would be spending a night in jail for what he did to me now.
All right. Do you want to find him and kill him?
I think I prank phone called him when I was like 23.
Well, dude, listen, I think better than going out
to wherever he lives and murdering him,
I think the two of us maybe want to do a little doxxing,
find his telephone number, and just kind of jerky poise him.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
We'll do the you took my dog bit,
but without the Indian accent. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do the, you took my dog bit, but without the Indian accent.
I like that.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Joe and cheese have a chat. I guess you can call that a chat.
This was very vague boundary setting.
Very vague because she doesn't want any boundaries. She said, please don't text me, don't contact
me, leave me alone. And then when we get her alone, she's a little cheeky and it's like,
well, I wouldn't be bummed
if he breaks those rules.
Right.
Okay.
Those are not boundaries.
Those are not boundaries.
So nothing was accomplished at all.
You didn't need to send a text.
Let's talk in the morning because you guys were going to talk about nothing.
And she says that she wants to stop and that she needs him to help her stop.
Well, let me give you a little piece of advice.
Depending on him to help you stop is a little bit like depending on eighth grade Pat to
belay down a fat kid.
It's just not going to happen.
Somebody is going to shit their pants or break their neck or get banged in a toilet.
I mean, I don't know, but we'll see what happens.
Aisha teaches Ellie how to do laundry on the sixth charter
And Joe says that he doesn't care about what he did to Ellie. He is not interested
very cool, dude
very
Very cool. No regrets, bro. No regrets how to blast
Just a fucking cool guy, I think.
So Nathan and Gale get back, little kissy, little,
oh my God, did I say I like him?
Okay, all right, I've had enough, you know, we can.
That's it, right?
We don't need to do this.
Let's get to the next day.
Next day!
It is raining cats and dogs.
Now- It's a medicane. not a hurricane, a medicane.
Don't even get me started.
We started the season on this trailer park yacht
with one of the cabins already flooding and leaking.
Do we have another one flooding and leaking
or is it the same one?
I think it's a different one.
Well, you know what? They did say that that was a hose that they'd plugged. Right. It could
in fact be that same leaky hose. Well Sandy says when you take on this much
water it can sink the boat. I think that was overstated. Can it? That was an overstated.
I mean you're the captain but this is quite a large boat. Yeah I don't think a
bathtub size volume of water could sink this Yeah, I don't think a bathtub
Size volume of water could sink this motherfucker. I mean, it's a very poorly built ship if it could
So we find out the reason for the leak. It was literally just a hose that was spraying water everywhere an evil hose now
Um john oh, we learned a little bit about him. He used to show jump which is you know, obviously
I mean the man is magical. He's a magical gay man
And I'm gonna say it again MVP of the season
Well, you know what since they declined us on talking to cheese, maybe my necks go round
I'll ask to talk to John and love to talk to John. Oh, okay. So the guests arrive
We're going to be doing some sushi things for them some salmon bellinis and some unagi and whatnot but first Sandy's got to have a chat with
them welcome to your dream vacation here your neighborhood jewelry line with
seals and shit is going gangbusters we're happy to have you you are not
going to be leaving the dockcks. Now honestly I thought they
handled it really well. She was just like where's my booze and then was like
it's not your fault sweetie, it's the gods. I didn't appreciate the male
member of the group that said the nonsensical thing. Well you don't
pay to be on the yacht, you pay to be off it. No, actually you're paying to be on it.
Yeah mostly on it. Mostly on it. There's actually you're paying to be on it. Yeah, mostly on it.
Mostly on it. There's one very stupid thing to say. There's one man that
looks like a gay scarecrow standing behind her. Did you see that guy? Yeah, a
couple weird looking people. Yeah, he had like a rainbow polo, like an Elton John
polo on, and then his face looked like, I don't't know like something from Attack on Titan it was uh age is a that was unnecessary I didn't need to say that that's okay I mean
it's ridiculous so the rolls fly up this is your roles I think so they like the
lunch the preferences are paid attention to there is one person that cannot have
raw fish this looks like it will rear its ugly head later.
Perhaps we'll have a dead charter guests for the baby.
You could have killed someone that Matt might be where he gets his walking
paeders papers. But first, Dylan,
they all head out for that a wine tasting in a hurricane.
I don't think the wine tasting establishment is open, but
call it crazy. Yeah.
But I thought it was interesting that the primary at some point yells in the van
I want to I want to go back turn
Okay. Hi, we just want to call and see if you guys were open because I know there's like three feet of rain right now
but we just wanted to see if you guys were still for some reason like pouring wine for people and they're like
Yeah, we're open and then you're like, yeah, we're open. And then you're like, why?
How?
But yes, the drive to the winery is far too perilous,
especially knowing that these roads are only
going to accumulate more water.
And we're going to be driving back
in full blown fucking Jumanji.
We end with more leaks and a 2B continued card. Hey. Oh
we're not coming back next week. Oh thank oh it's 2B continued. Thank God. Yeah
nothing that really ever happens on below deck is worthy of a 2B continued
card but definitely not this. You know you guys have to use these more sparingly.
Get in the iTunes Ranger reviews 5 stars kind you know, you guys have to use these more sparingly. Get in the iTunes range of views, five stars, kind words.
We love you guys so much.
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We love you guys.
I'm Dylan saying goodbye.
Pat say goodbye. Music