Kill James Bond! - We F'd Up

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

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As a K-Lin and I. Yeah, so what done happened was there was some shifty-ness, some shittiness, and some fuckery from Endor Bravo or Peacock. The suits over there have done something that is quite frankly gaslighting mama. They have released two episodes in a week as though that's a thing that's done. You know, I'm trying to think of an analog, but it's kind of like if you ordered something and then someone gave you something that wasn't that, but that's not a good analog. What's happened is me and pat have watched to completely different fucking episodes that is watching episode

uh... that takes place after the sea rat day off a very important event for any season of below deck it's plug-and-play let's play them with liquor let's put them on a beach let's get gabby kicked in the face, you know, it's lots of stuff ensues because they need R&R.

They're alcoholics. Oh, is this when the owner of the boat says, hey, we paid for the entire world, you know, believe it or not, this time it's Glenn. Glenn paid for it. Glenn's arranged it and you know, when the kids are away, Glenn will play. My God does Glenn have a fun episode. I mean,

it's like the doors of the shining open. Blood coming down the hallway. Oh my God. Also him on efoils. He's having a great time. He's so cute. So because of all this, yeah, very confusing. We are going to delay our dropping of the episode. Oh, we have to. We have to. I have to watch the episode. What would this be? A podcast, a war and peace length where I break down an entire episode and Pat goes, wow, that's crazy. And then Pat breaks down his episode and I go, wow, that's crazy. No, we're not going to do that. So sorry for the delay, but enjoy the rest of your day. And we'll see you guys tomorrow for the actual recap.

I have a great idea, Dylan. Why don't we? Why don't you talk like that? Oh, because I'm excited. I got an idea. So we're not wasting your time. You're already listening to the episode. You think you're going to hear some below deck. Right after this, why don't we lay in there our first episode of Flavor of Love Season 2, which you can hear exclusively on Bad TV podcast. So you Pat does these things on the fly, and I know, you know what? It's a great, I promote you, Dylan.

You know what? They gotta hear something. I don't like that. I really don't like that. I really don't like that. All right, I feel like that's. You could say, hey, if you don't like it, don't listen then. But it could get a lot of people, a lot of people through the door Dylan yeah yeah yeah we

all remember in 2007 flavor of love season two a girl dropped a pile she dropped a doose on the floor did yeah no don't what it's not gonna be on this oh gosh is it gonna be on this let's just put it on this if this is flavor of love season two episode one and if you do if you are a diehard below deck And you don't want to hear anything else at least give it five minutes a girl actually literally took a dump on flavor flames It's it was an accident which is even even crazier You know it's talking to my wife the other day It is and will you will get the flavor of love in a sec, but you know, it's so much more easy to control

your bladder than it is to not shit your pants. When was the last time you pissed your pants in earnest? It's a great point. You've shit your pants much more recently though, right? Uh, yeah. Yeah. I know. And that's what happened to something who is the name of a human.

Flavor of love. All right. Enjoy. We'll see you tomorrow for Blood Deck. And that's what happened to something who is the name of a human. Flavor of love. All right, enjoy. We'll see you tomorrow for Belinda. And after this whole ordeal, Sapphire immediate star, immediate star. Oh, 100%. My heart fell out of my butt because I wanted her to remain on this show. Well, Dylan, you understand why producers had to extricate her.

I don't. I don't. I've heard someone. No, Dylan, you understand why producers had to extricate her for the process. I don't. I don't. She heard someone. No, she couldn't. It's arbitrary morals these producers throw around. Something's shit on the floor. That's dangerous. That's a biohazard. There's a lot of stuff on TV.

Even on all of it's good. And it's in fact a lot of it, Chad TV. Yeah, it's bad TV in your ears. I am Dylan. I'm settled up next to one Patrick Hickey. Pleasure to be here. Pleasure to be here. Indeed, Kaelin is behind the desk, the board, the glasses.

He's over there. Hi, Kaelin. Hi, Dylan. Yeah, so pleasure is so pleasurable today because what is today Patrick? Today is a very special day. Today is none other than a return. I cannot tell you how much I missed VH1's flavor of love. How much I missed VH1's flavor of love. I don't want to be hyperbolic or set us up for failure or anything, but the first episode of the second season of VH1's flavor of love with flavor of flavor might be on the Mount Rush more of reality television episodes.

It was someone's shits on the floor. There's a fight within the first five minutes, someone's shits on the floor. There are spies named Jizz. There are so many things from this episode that made me smile. You know, I was having a little bit of a tough day and I... Are you doing your clocks? No, no, no. I'm just hopefully wedding the appetite.

Now, everyone needs to go to, of course, the All Black YouTube channel and watch this or you can find flavor of love season two, wherever you want to. But if you're like, oh, that's an old show, I don't really want to watch that. It's not to be for free, by the way. I want to watch the idol with Johnny Depp's daughter and, you know, kind of follow through

that kind of metacriticism of influence culture. What I'm telling you, don't do that. Watch flavor of love season two. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no don't know. Season two, a flavor of love. Now we've covered the first season of this show

a long time ago. You can find that at Patreon. God help us if that ever gets unearthed. I have not the faintest idea what we said back then. But we're here to break down season two for everybody on the bad TV feed and I could not be more excited. Patrick, do you want to get to your clocks?

Oh, I'd love to. What time is it? We have flavor of love. We have big dick wreck his side man. We have 20 women that escaped a padded room to be on this show. We have an episode titled, Something Stinking Up in the House of Flavor. And it's Dylan pointed out very aptly. Someone shits on the floor.

And someone is something. Yeah. That gets me to my second point about this magical journey that we're on. It's how flavor of love renames his flock. The naming ceremony is one of the most powerful tropes in the early television. I only could watch it for eight hours, just to give a little taste.

There's so much to start interrupt, but I just am so passionate about your passion for the naming ceremony. Renaming. Yeah, you know what, I'm gonna hold off because we'll talk about it during the naming ceremony. Renaming. Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna hold off because we'll talk about it during the naming ceremony. His, his process for renaming women should be studied. Yo, you're wearing a hat. Your name is hats. Well, what what Flav does, what flavor of love does in the renaming ceremony is he communes with muse like influences at warp speed. People have distrusts of their gut instinct. They have distrust of their creative drive, not Flav.

Flav sees a woman and he says, you have eyes. I'm going to call you eyes. Now it's brilliant because another thing that we didn't say is that, or did we, sorry, I'm a little high, this episode has a mole. I mean, she's called eyes because she's a spy. But I don't think he thought that far into it. I think he just saw the chia dyes and called it that.

He called some girl something. Uh huh. Yeah. He called another one like that. Like that. How many clocks? Let me book it. Okay. Sorry. It was a different time. I don't know how you got away with this. Two women in the first five minutes. If I won, literally beats the shit out of the one. I mean, it is a lopsided belt.

One is a girl scout from the cover of the Thin Mint grown up. The other is a woman named Sapphire from Crenshaw. Guess who loses the fight. The producers got the two of them to sit alone together. Yeah, like they go to the principal's office and the principal is flavor flame Oh, but get this the vice principal is a guiding big dick Get ready people a hundred clocks. Yeah, I can't give it anything other than a hundred clocks. This is Like I said I I don't give it anything other than a hundred clocks. This is, like I said, I don't want to, I don't want to sully the legacy of Abraham Lincoln by giving this the Abe Lincoln spot on Mount Rushmore,

but I guess it kind of makes sense. Well, I'll say this and we'll start the show. This was, the episode we watched was one day, the first day of filming. I don't think Francis got this much one day, the first day of filming. I don't think Francis got this much good shit on the first day of Godfather. I totally... No, no, no, no. Francis was still fighting with the paramount brass and...

Still trying to find out, you know, who was gonna be who? Well yeah, and Al was fighting with everybody trying to get that picture made. Okay, let him how many clocks do you give it? I give it a hundred clocks. I haven't seen it, but damn, does this sound good? Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah. I'm going to need to go back and rewatch. Yeah, does this not sound really, really good? I can't find my notes. So please take it away. Let me get started. All right. So our narrative gets laid out. We have 20 women that have one thing in started. All right. So our narrative gets laid out. We have 20 women that have one thing in common. There's like a, or a narrator lays this out.

I think it was a like guy by the way, but they all claim to want the heart of one very skinny little black man. Yeah. That being flavor of love. And he arrives to his rented house in Sherman, Oaks, California, adorned with rings, a fresh grill, of course, a clock because Flav always needs to know what time it is.

And then we look back at Flav's stints on his various highly exploitive VH1 TV offerings. He was on surreal life. He fell in love with Bridget Neilson. They had like two seasons. And then we get to how they all broke his heart. They weren't here for the right reasons, because you know, people aren't always honest with their hardest flames, says.

No. Hottie, pumpkin, hoops. And I believe one was actually a man from the first season. Yeah. Anyway, hoops really let him down. Well, yeah, no. I mean, now that I've opened my notes, I, I do want to take a little bit of time to just kind of broad stroke to heartbreak

that Flav felt during the first season. Now, um, first off, the omniscient narrator of this journey is big dick Rick. Oh, that is big dick Rick. Or somebody that sounds like him. And he says, they're 20 women come to the show and they all say that they love flavor flavor. They all claim to look. It's like they're not giving flavor credit straight out of the game. The omniscient narrator is saying,

there's no way these women are into this guy, which again is hurtful to play because play is a good guy. He may sexually harass women during naming ceremonies by smacking name tags on their breasts and their ass. Maybe he's not the greatest guy. So, not only did hottie break his heart in season one, while that was happening, the white woman in corn rows

watching on in the background, pumpkin, she also broke his heart. And then finally Hoops does, that was a love that I think Ui and our former co-host, who is not dead, thought was going to work. They were going to go the distance. Yeah, yeah, it didn't work out. So the reason why this this first episode is so solid is you have the archetypes of

flavor of love just straight out of the gate. You have the white chick who's into astrology. You have the white chick who you wouldn't think was white if you just heard her talk, you have the black girl who looks like she can cook very well. Flav needs that. He needs the big bitches that can make the shit for him. He's had a couple of those. That's an important archetype for him.

Don't forget to grow with the speech impediment. Who sounds like Mike Tyson. Very niche archetype and an archetype nonetheless? You ever been in a pinch financially oh all the time not like Like you like me to go to the bathroom on the 405. Oh What had that to yeah, yeah, but you know what's a much more stressful pinch? It's a fine neutral one. 100%.

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Only at Bartisian.com slash cocktail. So we go explore the house and we within seconds have our first fight. There aren't enough beds in the manner, and Flav has purposefully limited the number of the beds, and what this leads to is quite the brawl. So we want to play our first clip of our coverage, our recap of Flavre of Love's. Yeah, that's our first clip of the season. Kaelin?

I don't think so. It's mine. I'm not even. I think not. I think I'm not. Well then I guess we're going to be both on this thing. Ah, go sit on both my words. This is not your best.

I was at the head first. Hey, hey, hey. Go touch my words on this. Bed first. Hey, don't touch my words. Don't touch my words. Oh, hey, don't touch my words. Don't touch my words. Don't you bear with? Oh, hey! Don't you know what? Don't you know what? Don't you ever go to your fucking hands!

I'm gonna be in trouble! I'm gonna be in trouble! You're gonna be in trouble! Okay, you didn't cut it. I have to say this. Uh, Francis did not get anything even remotely close out of con. That first day on set. Ha, ha, ha. He had to have a talk with him. and I'm not going to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able Well, big dick Rick and Flav come to the rescue. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They immediately say they don't condone this type of activity and violence in the crib. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So thank God for that. Well, we do have the club of the principal's office, right? They need to get to. Yeah, we'll get there. There's a couple other things.

It's at this point, yeah, one of the ladies that weren't punching each other in the face, Yeah, we'll get there. There's a couple other things. It's at this point. Yeah, one of the ladies that weren't punching each other in the face. They make their way to the libations at. Yeah, so this is another trope of VH1 reality television. And someone later on in the episode asks, how did they find these women? Did they just go into a bar and say does anyone want to be on TV? And she asks that earnestly, but I would say to her earnestly 100% they went to Cabo Cantina Or yardhouse or said I was popping that or a caros or a sizzler and said

Who wants to be on this show and that's how they cast it. But obviously because of that pain, one, there's always one girl who gets just destroyed drunk the first night. We saw it in Brett Michaels quest for love, in rock of love, it was Tiffany, it was don't threaten me with a good time. And tonight it is Toasty. Who had yet to be named? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just going to drunk girl get blacked out. Now we go back and forth between these scenes and we get to a really sweet moment between Sapphire and Htown. Now I always appreciate when a victor in a battle makes a piece offering. Uh-huh. But of course it was a rudely turned down play the clip. This is a do you want some chapstick or something? Yeah. Okay, so yeah, that's I want to say something about Sapphire. Yeah. So, uh, I've, uh, we're going to try and get her on the show.

I mean, I would love to talk to Sapphire. She's doing very well for herself. Good. She later, uh, in another incarnation of this show called Charmschool, charm school one charm school. They brought her back She looked familiar to me and then she has launched a lip-chap line. Oh wow Wow, oh wow. So this was an iconic line. Oh, yes, and I understand why it was it why I why it reached that level Because it was it had everything. It had sisterhood. It had humility. It had forgiveness. It had bygones be bygones, but they didn't get over

the hump so quickly because sapphire does need to set the record straight. It's a little clip heavy, but Kaelin playing the third clip of the evening. Good play that third clip of the evening for a circuit. You should be hitting people. I won't hit you no more. You hit me first. Well, I'm sorry if I hit you first, but I don't think I hit you first. I threw your flowers and then you hit me. You hit me with the flowers when you threw them.

This is it, the streets of Compton. I don't live in Compton. That's what you said. I say 54, Patricia. That's what I see. Okay. Okay. This H-town just, she got hit by a freight track.

She had no idea what was coming in 2007. We didn't think this was crazy. And we haven't talked about the actual fight. Sapphire throws a fuck she goes into full guard. She could have fucking ripped her fucking arm out as she wanted to arm bar. Oh yeah, she wrapped her leg around. I mean, she wrapped her leg around her head.

She, she cinched an arm down and she just started beating the fuck out of the soft spot of the cranium. Believe it or not, H. Time goes down early later in the night. She goes, I'm fatigued. She's concussed. All right. So, um, we get to the principal's office. I didn't want to mention this out of that clip though. Yeah. That, they were doing the work to progress past that. Oh, 100% and Sapphire drops to her knees in prayer and says, Lord, please forgive me for beating this bitch up.

Lord, please prevent me from beating this bitch up again and then big dick Rick comes out. Now, we take Now we take what's that thing called when you have like someone's talking to like a police dude it's like an interrogation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and Flav's gonna hear both their stories. Yeah, so the white girl goes first. She says she slammed my head into a wall. I have not the back of my head

because of how many times she punched me. But I like how Flav having get to give them their new names, just refers to them as the white girl and the black girl. Well, the black girl goes in next and I wrote down the reason why I'm not using their names is because flavorflave calls them the white girl and the black girl. And at the end of this, spoiler alert, Sapphire will go home because we run the minutes back, we look at the tapes and it was Sapphire who threw the first punch. Although I would say that H town threw the first, she threw the flowers, what Sapphire is supposed to do, she's from 54th of Crenshaw, she's going to punch her in the face if she does something

like that. So I think we're firmly on Sapphire side. And after this whole ordeal, Sapphire immediate star, immediate star. Oh 100% you you my heart fell out of my butt because I wanted her to remain On this show well Dylan you understand why producers had to extricate her I don't I don't I've heard someone no She couldn't it's arbitrary morals these producers throw around something shit on the floor that's dangerous. That's a bio hazard around something shit on the floor. That's dangerous. That's a bio hazard. All right, we have to get to the naming ceremony. Oh, yes. Oh, the naming ceremony. Oh, I was going to say that. Big Dick Rick Carrieder sapphire out and quite a quite a, oh, yeah uh... flurry of uh... fistthrowing horrible things said uh... man it was a kind of like kwagon jinn

verse doth mall it was uh... it was a good fight but uh... that's not a good analogy because because you didn't get his cut now i got stabbed in the chest you got stabbed in the chest but big dick Rick's not evil and sapphire's not quite quiet gone. All right. Sorry for Star Wars. Let's move to and sorry for Phantom Menace Star Wars.

You know that kid quit acting after that. He was like, I can't do it. Everybody made fun of me. Jake Lloyd. Oh my gosh. And also my wife evidently ran across a video the other day of Hayden Crichtinson as a panel and some fan just said, you know, I just wanted to say that we love you and we're so sorry that you've taken so much shit and you've been such a

servant to this franchise and we love you. And everybody stood up and applauded and he started crying on stage. Wow. It wouldn't be necessary if he wasn't so fucking horrible in those movies. and everybody stood up and applauded and he started crying on stage. Wow. Wouldn't be necessary if he wasn't so fucking horrible in those movies. There was a young man and the only thing that he did after that I believe is the time travel. Jumper. Jumper, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's done a couple other things but they're straight to video.

Yeah. George Lucas can destroy careers. Oh, yes, he can. Well, I don't really think it matters if you're going to work after the Sir, not I think you should shut the fuck up and read the lines like, wow, that guy's really angry. Think he's like a cute science teacher and those new balances and khakis, but no, he's a billionaire with a really bad attitude. All right, let's get to the name. Sorry, so we get to the origin of how Flav in his process works, how he came up with that.

It's so important to, because I'm sure the audience or a new green viewer is wondering, why does he rename people and why is that? Well, I can't remember their names. So he does, in fact, need a sticker with the made-up name. Yeah. Now, you'd be thinking, oh, obviously, that's a good reason. But then think about it a little bit more.

Your innocence back at square one, because the names don't go away. It's not like he doesn't have to remember any names. Right. He just renames them. But then you think of the ingenious part of it. He names people names that fire up the parts of his brain that he needs to work. So he's going to call someone... Why? Why are he's going to call someone patience spelled P.A.Y.

SH I and TZ Because that's how he's gonna remember He's gonna name someone Delish and that's with two ease and Let's just go through a couple more. Oh, yeah, okay. So first up is Toasty. He can tell that she's blackout, so he calls her Toasty. He does not eliminate her for being blackout.

He just says, hey, you're pretty drunk. I'm gonna call you Toasty, and that's the end of that. Bucky is up next. She's buckwild, she shakes her ass, so he calls her Bucky. Wire is up next. Wire is astronomy girl. Wire is astronomy girl. Wire is moon rising, sun falling. Wire steps up and says, you can call me sugar hips.

Now Flav says, essentially, shut up. Skinny white chick, you're not waiting this competition. No, I don't think so. Your name's Wire. It's like, why? Because you feel the electricity? not waiting this competition. No, I don't think so. Your name's wire. Haha. It's like why? Because you feel the electricity? Yeah, and he's like, yeah, that's it. Haha.

Yeah, I know. I know. You know who's having the best time in the lives here? It's Big Dick Rick. Oh, he is yucking it up behind Flake. Big Dick Rick is like a stunt man who just loves coming to work. He just loves it. We've got some other incredible names,

like something hood and eyes. Go forget nibbles. We've got nibbles as well. Nibbles is a girl whose tits he just keeps staring at. Unabashedly, he just keeps staring at. This is the girl with the speech impediment, but I do appreciate a flay. If he didn't just go for the easy one,

you sound like Mike Tyson. But he did actually, the name came out of it because Mike Tyson bit a guy's fucking ear off. Vanderhollyfield. Hence the name nibbles. I think he bit of Vanderhollyfield's ear. It was, yeah. Well, there's also,

God, I feel tough saying this, but it's not behind a paywall. The show's a little easier to recap when it's behind a paywall. The show's a little, little easier to recap when it's behind a paywall. I'd hear that. But listen, let's just talk about it. The next one comes up. She says she's not skinny, but she's not fat.

It's like that. And that's why he calls her like that. But she is fat. She's quite fat. So. How about the girl that's, he asked her what she does. It doesn't matter that she's fat, but she is. You call a spade a spade. Yeah. One girl he asked her what she does. She says, I train lines. He says, great. Your name's Tiger. And then someone steps up and starts singing. And he goes, Oh, that's crazy Er, no, he goes, he goes, you have a beautiful voice.

I'm gonna call you crazy with a K. The naming ceremony on flavor of love is unparalleled in reality, television. All right, so just rounding out, the one that got the absolute fuck beat out of her is named H town because she's from Houston. Another one is named Bama because she's from Alabama. He loses steam a little bit.

Oh, yeah, you know, how could you not there? 20 women. Yeah, well, a buck wild already has a name and he called her Spacer for obvious reasons. What? She has a huge cap in her face or a teeth. You didn't catch that. No, he doesn't call her Spacer.

Oh, he called her Buck Wild. He says, your name is so perfect. You can keep it. You can keep your name. Oh, that's right. And she says, that means so much to me because I have this belt buckle that is adorned with rhinestones that says Buck Wild.

I just want to say this, Buck Wild is an amazing person. Buck Wild is not allowed to exist in 2022 or 2023. Depending on what's kind of progressive you want to be that day, like she is just expressing herself. She, everyone is allowed to express themselves in the way they choose to, but probably not being a white girl speaking of bond, X is not okay, right? That's kind of, I don't want to say it's cultural appropriation, it's not cultural appropriation, but the way she's

speaking is quite nuts. Yeah, well, you know. It was her neighborhood that she came from, yeah, yeah. Did I get in the hot water there? I don't think so. Okay. All right, let's get to the mixer. Flavor is talking to the chicks about being down to wash his car and God saving, but we find out some, we find out something pretty crazy this season. This is new. And this season we have a mole. Who is the mole?

It's none other than eyes. Her first conversation is with toastie. How strong? She is sizing up toasty, and she sees the toasty is not quite flaved material. She's shitfaced, and she asks the spy. Is your name Jizz? And that's because Flav has poor penmanship. She says no eyes. And to

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How insane is that? It's a lot of levels. So you never get bored playing, it starts easy, but it gets harder as you get better. Kind of like mortal combat. Word Collect is a fun and addicting way to keep your mind sharp and grow your vocabulary. Kind of like those blades sticking out of Baraka's arms.

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where did they find her somebody just yell on a bar again both say yes now we have this very bizarre moment where like that pulls flav inside and we get a chiroend that says, Flalation. Flavlation. Flavlation. Yeah. Translation. Flavlation. Okay. This was confusing. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. So there's a...

This is racist. Wow. It's insane because they're speaking plain English to each other, but there needs to be a Flavilation translation. Oh, wow. It's insane. So like Dad talks about how she's great. Flav leaves the conversation with like that. And he sits down and before, moments before he had taken that seat, nipples, or what's nipples?

Nipples is talking about not having a gag reflex. Enter a stage right, Flav, with a certain pep to his step. He sits down amidst three women and goes, hey, nipples, what's going on with you? And that's the show. That's the show. That's flave, hearing about some woman's proficiency with sucking dick.

He enters in and then just be lines to her and ignores the other women. Again, it cannot be filmed today, but this is, you know, this is when, for better or worse, we were just a little bit more ignorant. It was a, it was a different time to help frame it that way. Meanwhile, thanks for helping. There's a lot of discussion amongst the girls about licking clits and whatnot. Yeah, I believe it's something. Yes, something is a bisexual. She says, I would lick pussy. And that very same Lesbo sits down with Flav and not only lies about

being a total dyke, but touches flames face big mistake which is a kin to touching Brett Michaels hair it is not something that is done no no no that and that's the that's the first of the second agger the second is a spunky pointing out that she's a blatant lesbian yeah yeah and then I think they get into quite a brawl yeah yeah yeah so and then I think they didn't took what a brawl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, um, so she says I believe this was Direct quote from Sponkey. She said that she said earlier that she'd lick the clip. She'd lick the clip End quote Okay, we have a clip of their fight

Can you go ahead and Roll said clip? No. Right doesn't want you. I'm shit about something bitch. We don't know what that is. Something bitch. And pause I'm a keeper real. You better not touch me. The only person that's touching me is Blaze, Celini. Because if you do it again, this is glasses going in the mother fuck. He said he didn't want to chick like it.

I would have did it. Do it again. Your psycho. I think something is really over the top. I mean, this calls crazy. I have no power. Can you pause it? Actually, she's not crazy.

She's something. Someone else is crazy. Gosh, this show is so incredible. Now, this is when Flav has a secret meeting with his mole. Yeah. And she gives a very in-depth report of her investigation. Yeah. And to kindly put it, I think it overwhelms Flav.

It overwhelms Flav because there are 20 women, she says about 17 of them are not here for the right reasons, obviously. And Flav starts to, as you said, kind of get overwhelmed. He begins to glaze over a little bit. And this is where I love Flav so much. to say and he didn't hear you any of it But but she said so much that he knows she did her job now Flav lays waste to the psyche of the women and tells the girls that there is a rat in their ranks and

I believe he did this at the beginning of the clock ceremony. Yes. he did this at the beginning of the clock ceremony. Yes, he did this at the beginning of the clock ceremony. And he reveals the mold. This is the one problem I had. It is nowhere near. Is that one of Marty's homeless people running into? And I think it's the refrigerator. Oh, okay.

The only demerit I would give the show, and it's nowhere near, it's not even worth taking a point away. I would like to have seen the mole exist for an episode longer. It could have been tiresome, but Dylan, you point that out, but I also miss something from this episode that was very prominent in season one. How about the process of deliberation with Big Dick Rick? Well, Big Dick Rick, tonight is not what with the research that Giz did, and it being a very easy, just straight out of the gate, this isn't going to work, this isn't going to work.

Rick is there to help Flav with the liberations of the heart. When Flav is starting to catch the feels for hood, eyes, patience, nibbles, nibbles, that's when he's gonna need big dick wreck. You need your buddy to like, I hope you have a try of triumphant. I think you will. Okay. But he tells everybody that it was in fact Celine Dion herself, Ize, Jizz, she was the mole, she is let go, she is no longer part of this competition. Some would say she never was. But Pat, we have a very important segment to get to. Oh, no, I forgot about my roll call.

Yeah, we have the first roll call the season I'm really hoping that it is a very good one because it is the first of the season got to kick things out for the bank pat Give us a roll call. All right. Here's a roll call Bucky buck wild crazy I should mention despite her issues with alcoholism, Toasty is handed a clock. Yeah. Tiger, patience, nibbles, delicious, wire, like that, boots, Toasty.

Oh, I already said Toasty. Beautiful and also something makes the cut. Then Flavlet's Hood, no, his secret agent has informed him that she's not here for the right reasons because she in fact has an agent in hollywood oh yeah it sent her here uh... bama is not also also not here for the uh... right reasons he never really gets into reasons behind that uh... yeah uh... then he says uh... spunky gets the final clock and this is who goes home h-town

why she's concussed. She may, does she go home or she just go upstairs? Now he sends her home because she does. She may die if she falls asleep to death. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That it's more of an insurance liability, you know?

Exactly. And then chocolate, who I really felt like I didn't get enough time to spend with but someone's gotta go home. Yeah, somebody's gotta go home and the people that do go home are Hood, Bama, H town, and chocolate. All right. So you would think that we're done with the show, but there is one more thing that happened. There is.

And I want to say though, it's an interesting part of the show. When the girls are eliminated from the show, they retain their birthnames. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they're given back their given name Mm-hmm, right. Yeah And such a problematic Convention, but Dylan as you pointed out minutes ago this is when we thought the episode was over Yeah, usually it's it deliberation, its elimination, it's an obscene amount of champagne poured out on the ground for the ones we lost the evening, that evening, and then the credits

roll. But not this episode, not this episode. Somebody shits on the floor. She is toasting with the other women to a night survived. And she all of a sudden is stricken with something. She heads upstairs while she is making her scent to the bathroom. She shits on the floor Shit comes out of her dress and it lands on the floor everyone can smell it and as flavors Trying to investigate where the scent is coming from someone points out that there's shit on the floor

on the floor. And the stairs. Yeah. The stairs. Yeah, yeah. So they accost her in the bathroom and they say, something what's going on? Did you defecate on the ground? And she says, yeah, I fucking did. I have to take a shit.

Leave me alone. She also said it could happen to anyone. And I would take some. No, no, no. Only people who are having a psychotic break, they literally, they're not in control of anything in their body. But Flav, I've never shit on stairs.

I've never shit on stairs either. So Flav sees this moxie, this conviction, this dare I say courage, and he says, you know what? I like something. She keeps it real. She's shit on the floor. It's a bigger man than me. Yeah.

Cause I mean, God knows what you've done. I'd have big dick Rick carry around. Yeah. Say shit somewhere else. Shit somewhere else. All right, that's it for us. Jumping iTunes ratings and reviews. The five stars.

This could be so much fun though. Oh, I, jumping out to these ratings and reviews. The five stars. This is gonna be so much fun, though. Oh, I'm so excited to break this season down. What a show it is. Go to patreon.com for the first season. Go to patreon.com for Vanderpump rules with robes. Go to patreon.com for live meetups and join us on YouTube at bad TV. V put the dots after the T and the V, you'll find us.

Join us on Instagram at BadTV Podcast. We love you guys very much. I'm Dylan Seng, goodbye. Pat Seng, goodbye. Later, now. K-Lin Seng, goodbye. See you later. There's a lot of stuff on TV.

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