Kill James Bond! - Welcome Home | Below Deck Med S7 E1

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

Dylan, Nick and Pat ARE BACK for a brand new season of Below Deck Med. We talk the untapped and undiscovered market of Malta, Home, copyright law, the different kinds of Irish, lies, Smurfs, cigs, minestrone, start ups, Raygun Economics and even more Below Deck Med.Support our Sponsors Magic Mind: Visit https://MagicMind.co and use promo code “Sandy” for 20% off.Rothy's: Get $20 off your first purchase at https://rothys.com/BELOWDECK  Athletic Greens: Visit https://athleticgreens.com/BELOWDECK for FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase    Betterhelp: Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://Betterhelp.com/BelowDeck Dame BELOWDECK to take 15% off your first order at https://dameproducts.comSubscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Down Under, Below Deck Sailing Yacht seasons 1 & 2 AND Love is Blind Season 2.  https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetworkVideo of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpgRn46VevjnBrp5A4tgiqw?sub_confirmation=1This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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You know, we know each other already. So it's cool. Right. Okay, that's not weird at all. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new season of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm settled up next to one real Nicholas Davis, a Hoi Matys, Faptist podcast server behind my glasses. Hey, permission to come aboard.

Permission granted, it's a new country, it's a new boat, it's a new crew, you know what Sandy says to that? Up to the challenge. Oh nice. I thought you were gonna say, I thought you were gonna jump in and put words in her mouth and say something.

I'll get there, don't worry. Okay great. So it is a new season of Med. We are very, very excited to cover this. But first, we have some public service announcements to get out of the way. Pat, you wanna tell him about the live show coming out? Yes. Oh, you know what?

The live show is, oh no, it's not in the past. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, no. All right, so for all our listeners, all the barnacles out there. Well, first off, let me get to a little for all our listeners, all the barnacles out there. Well first off Let me get to a little tuning of our own horn and how good we are to you as listeners this week We're not just debuting a podcast recap of one show We're actually debuting podcasts episode of three shows. Yeah

If you like the sound of our voices and we crack you up and we you find comfort in us crazy that you guys do We are debuting the premiere of the bachelors are the bachelors the bachelors the bachelors Bachelors Bachelors with a Z so you'll find that at another bachelor podcast if you don't already know you're a we're debuting Below deck down and down. Dananda! You're going to enjoy that, and we're also, while you're listening to this, so this obviously debut. If you want to also hear us do seven shows,

I can't believe how hard we're working at this. You can go over to another podcast show and listen to us there. If you'd like to pay us five or ten bucks, you can get three more shows. We are recapping the new season of Beverly Hills Housewives over behind patreon.com slash another podcast network. There's a show I do where Dylan and Nick try in a RumpMe called PMZ,

in which it's wildly entertaining. And then lastly, no, that's it. Call another APS show there. So there's a lot of content. There's a lot of content there. And if you'd like to see us in person in two days, if you're listening to the day it drops, come to the Irvine Improv and see us live with KKC

from Reality Life with KKC Irvine Improv, Wednesday, July 13th. So you guys there also, Pat plugged the Patreon, but the most important call to action here, it's another one of those nights. We have 83 ads. So if you want to hear the

ad-free version of this show, go to patreon.com. So another podcast network. We love you very much. Let's get into the show. It's the premiere episode. What's up, baby? There's only three ads. Because we have two shows. Three ads going each show. Oh, that's what's happening. God it. Okay. Well, if you don't want to hear us do three ads, then go to Patreon, I'm gonna show you that. So, like we said, new country, new season. How did we feel about the premier episode of season 75 of the Low Deck Med? Go ahead, Nick, I talked a lot at the top.

Thoughts and knots for this episode, new season. Wow, I'm, yeah, you're flustered. Yeah, it was the last time, yeah, I was not prepared and there's other work stuff going on. It's a new season and I'm excited. I want to get that through incredible first episode. Right. The casting seems to be incredible. We are being lied to very clearly by production

about one possible boatman's. Oh, interesting take. I'll get into it later when I don the TFC. But for a premiere, I usually hate the first day of school when you meet people and get to syllabus, but I love this one 91 knots and that's in the context of premieres. I Love first day of school. I love new school supplies. I love new binders. I love school supplies was the most stressful time My grandma's love school supplies. I love the first day where you go, I'm gonna be studious this year.

I'm gonna take really great notes and you never do. But I enjoy the optimism of the first day of school. I think the cast is fantastic. We have some really prototypical C-RAT shit going on the first episode. A lot of people running away from problems, running away from Indiana. It's just a ton of great stuff.

We've got a bow man, a boat man straight out of the gate. What more could you want? 91 pots in the context of premiere episodes. Yeah. It's your turn. Oh my turn. All right, let me just say this. In the audience isn't used to this from me

because I'm normally a negative Nancy. Is that the term? Or negative Nelly. Oh, okay. Well, I'm normally a negative Nancy is that the term or negative Nelly okay well I'm different this time I fucking loved this episode it feels like they got some new production going on or whatever I love the casting the lenses are better this is it does it's popping off the screen maybe it's Malta maybe it's the backdrop I don't know I love the new fucking boat too. It's not a dump like those pass boats. Welcome home. And I have a new lease on life

with fake captain, time share, Sandy there. I'm gonna start fresh with her, start a new. I'm gonna put aside all my past judgment and start fresh with her like she's a new person and I'm getting to know. Okay, so excited. and how hundred knots. This is like an attic to spend through this rigmarole of sobriety for a month at a time many many times.

Well, this won't last. Speaking of addiction, it looks like Sandy's sobriety fast will be broken. She's going to crash this vehicle called home at one point and it looks like we're going to have a Like I said a chief stew Sheffi Syrat romance and also our boss and maybe fired within two and a half episodes So Megan did this set up quite a bit. Let's get into it So we begin in the exotically named Grand Harbor Marina in Malta. Sandy gives us a little cultural context for honestly one of the main characters of the show.

Malta will be a backdrop. The entire story unfolds on. So it's important that Sandy picks up her mental as anthropologist. She kind of reminds me of you. You know, you wear a lot of hats. Yeah, she's a sous chef. She goes to a lot of table-setting conferences Cameo superstar Polygist. Yeah, she's a you know my wife calls me the Jamaican because I got a bunch of jobs

Sandy's a Jamaican. Okay, let me say this Sandy starts off the show by letting us know that Malta is a paradise That has not been discovered by the super yacht industry just as the camera pans down to see four mega yachts parked in a dock in Malta. Back in a bad start. We are reaching singularity as a podcast fat I had. Bad start. We are reaching Singularity as a podcast fat. I had. Strike one.

Sandy calls it a little piece of paradise that hasn't been discovered by the super yacht industry as we pan down on the super yacht home docked on the shores of Malta. It's right there. It was almost for word. It's almost like they hate her in production. They're like, we're going to make her look like an ass. You plan to sound again. I don't have any All right, so

Let's meet Natasha her accent is confusing me. Is she from Ireland? I it sounds like she's from I don't know I don't know Britain that well definitely from the North yeah, but it could also be like the Southwest I'm not sure hey by the way. I can't it could also be like the Southwest. I'm not sure. Hey, by the way, I can't understand what she's or the East. I can't understand what she's saying. Look, I know we're gonna get the backstory in episode four or five or whatever, where some of her brothers were shot in a gun duel

or something or lost her father, whatever. But please, can we at least get a little chiron that says where she was born in the first episode? They didn't do that this time where she was born. Yeah, I want to know where she's from What that information is so fucking irrelevant these sea rats bounce all over the fucking place the point of origin Really means nothing to a ruthless human being? And can I nitpick? Can I nitpick a little semantically with something you posted that possibly her brothers had both been killed in a duel

Unless they were shooting each other and the bolts hit each other at the same time They were not in a duel and both got killed because it duels two people right right right is it dual two people? Yes, one one one. Oh, no, it's a duel a duel Like in rango the movie rango with Johnny Depp Yeah, I do love that Natasha speaks very highly of the chef And I'm not buying this from an unreliable narrator Let's see the food before we go casting judgment on this man as a culinary professional because we don't have brushes on the guy You know what I mean I do okay?

So next up is the head of the deck crew. Now, Malia is chief officer on another vessel. Sorry, check my schedule. It's just not good for my brand or my mental health to be on this season. But the good news is the girl power. Well, my saliva's been attacking me all day. The girl power continues.

We've got a boasting named Reagan slash the fish. Call it Reagan. That's our cosmo name. I'm gonna you know what cosplay? I like Reagan but I've referred to her as the chain smoker. No the Fessiggy. Can I do it though? Actually, I've referred to her as the fifth element and the name got better as we went along in the show because she speaks as though she is an elemental power trying to understand human beings. You know, she's just, she makes no sense. Yeah, she's learning. She's me, Le Jocobage. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. She's a fifth element. That will make any sense. Okay. So, let's get uh... davi is the chef and he is greeted by a very very cute scare

from natasha she likes him all the way they hug you it says it all right there i mean we of course i don't want to get ahead of myself at her walking into uh... their shared book don't get ahead of yourself she almost gave their deathly more than friends and it's obvious with this embrace is my point yes speaking of our other property another bachelor Podcast which premieres this week on another bachelor podcast feed. She almost gave him a full leg wrap around that Log was so Affectionate. Yeah very important. That's when my antenna's first went up on my TFC

Which I'll get to later. Okay. I was gonna ask if you wanted to get to it now, but we will get to it later So Dave is a C-Rad as you can possibly be. Chef, Skier, Hatterestron, but man was that hard. It's all just megafoning, C-Rad. He looks like Corey Stoll. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if I like what this guy's throwing down, just, yeah, but I'm gonna withhold any judgment.

Yeah, he claims he cheated death many times as you pointed out, he does that competitive ski flipping bullshit, jumping off troppers, climbing Mount Aferus. And don't forget failing to run that restaurant. Exactly, but to call out another franchise as we're apt to do others, have you ever sailed with Captain Glett?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He will show you to your death. Because what happened at the end of the episode is pretty I mean people must have Inchocked the stabilizers went out, but that is that is a good vacation on below dexaling out That's what's that's what you's paying for I just I do want to mention I don't think he contradicted himself at all because I don't know if you've seen some of these stats but out of all his feats Opening a restaurant is the most dangerous. Absolutely.

It's just a money dump. Wow. And I did forget to mention this and it might be a little bit early in the season for this, but when Reagan met Sandy, I do believe Sandy was like, yeah, another woman on board, so nice to have that. She didn't do a lesbian thing. She didn't say that to Natasha. I think maybe Reagan's look gave Sandy a little inclination that Reagan plays for the same team.

She was setting the table that maybe something could happen after the season. And maybe in a cameo where Reagan questions, uh, or no, Sandy can't question. Maria is, uh, Malia's totally gay. She's so gay. Happy birthday. We should put in that audio in the mid 25 bucks for that Almost ruined her career. Oh, I bet she made like 300. She she has a weird following. Yeah, who is watching her Dean? What's going to her

her Keynotes in room b's in Ramata's in Tampa. And what is wrong? And to shout out our most expensive property, PMZ, which is at the $10 TRI Patreon.com, slash another podcast network. Pat is gonna take down Captain Sandy's new podcast.

I promise you that. I saw that. I haven't even talked about with him, but it's a must. All right, so next up we meet Natalia and the guy from Indiana, Jason. There's a lovely moment between he and Reagan where he asks if she's Canadian. And she with a face that says, do you know what Canadian accents sound like? Says she's from Essex, but grew up in Turkey. And he says in a very defeated way

I'm from Indiana Which is famous for Larry Bird and corn and the KKK and the KKK right and people think it started in the South Indiana Yeah, so Yeah, sorry Jason, but yeah, I'd be he's very handsome and I like him so far and before anybody God, I do not like him at all. Oh, you at all. I like to get there. Oh boy. On my first and second viewings, I loved him on my third and fourth. I started to feel like he got a little up Butty with Reagan too early despite her being a bad.. We'll get to it, but I have seen this for a while. But Nick mentions a good point.

You should watch the episodes multiple times to really get as much juice as you can. So Natalia and Natasha are twins. You guys have anything creepy to say about that? No, I'm not gonna be a massageist anymore. I'll just say this, they're both my speed, but they don't look like twins. They share the same hair color.

Okay. I mean, and also somehow Bravo has access to my porn surges. Well, it's so funny because that is the only way that they would be related. Like if they were in a porn, you'd be like, oh yeah, they're sisters. But not it.

Yeah, yeah. But not. I don't say sisters that insist stuff weird. I would just say two girls, but not I don't say to I don't say sisters that insist stuff weird. I would just say two girls. Okay, so Natalia already said it. Natasha. Oh, no, I didn't. Let's meet the very fabulous Kyle. And then my next note is nothing much on him quite yet. Not much, but he's going to be fun too. I think. Oh, yeah, I love Kyle. I think, but he could we'll see.

So Natasha tells him that he's going to be staying in Port-Aff. They show us the bunks and the crew seems pretty jazzed. To me, they looked like the bunks in an insane asylum. Yeah. A lot of white and not a lot of room. You know, the perfect environment for mental work, you know, just betterment. for mental work, you know, just betterment. So anyways, let's head up to the crow's nest and chat with Z. He has shown a lot of potential and is also going to be 24 hours late. We all know a guy who only occasionally shapes for big occasions, and it's because that occasional shave really hurts.

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gonna down the T of C again either a a production was like, hey, hang back or Z is once again, this is option B, displaying the algorithm that we displayed from last season. The drunkest anyone's ever been on the show. He fell every other episode on his face and I think him and Storm got fucked up and missed their flight. I, that is not even tin foil. That's just what I did. What I was like Dick Cheney cooked the entire thing. It's not TFC. It's just what happened.

The TFC part was that production said, hang back a day. But more likely Z in storm got fucked up like they have been doing since they were 14. So day one severely understaffed. This is squid games. Let's get to the bunking situation. We get a brilliant move from Natasha here. I'm gonna do an imitation.

You guys wanna break this down? What do you think? Who's there to say good? I'll sleep with Dave. You know, we know each other already. So it's cool. Okay, that's not weird at all. I loved the thick buttery tension in that little hall

When when this all goes down she's like yeah, we're gonna be staying inside And everyone's like Are we sure management of the boat is okay with this? I love the reason we had to fire Malia or whatever the fuck app and I can't remember I think it was the the one with the list but I'm not sure. And fucking pigeon was like, I'm not staying with somebody new, man. I'm not moving my bum, man. Are our jokes getting too inside to appeal to a broader below deck audience? I think so.

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Yes, I love the exposition line for him, Sandy at the top of the episode. She's like, management's okay with, you know, coed, bonks, so no problem here, but moving on. Kyle teases the husband and wife a little bit. You know, co-ed Bunk so no problem here, but moving on Kyle Teases the husband and wife a little bit. I dig him. He's got a lot of fun sass right out of the gate But it could turn nasty so we gather in the main salon for our first meeting of the season We also get to meet the boat

Its name is home, which I don't know I don't know, I don't know a copyright law is surrounding boat names, but I'm pretty sure that's been nailed onto a boat, you know, a time or 2000. Yeah, you can't copyright that. In legal terms, as far as trademarks and such, Dylan, there's certain words that you can't copyright or trade at home being one of them.

What about Teradactyl? You might have a shot at that. That's probably how I'd name my yacht, if I had a yacht. I'd probably call it Teradactyl. I name it, Shoei. Now Dylan, you're caught up in the name of this fucking boat, which I thought was tacky. But Sandy, in this meeting, I don't know if you were gonna go over it in your notes, but she touches out a few things. She doesn't like dirty floors. Yes. She also doesn't like sexual harassment in the workplace or a hate speech

because that won't be tolerated. Sandy, do you know what show you are on? Yeah, I love how she was like, I don't wanna hate speech. Way to get ahead of that one, Bravo. But also she walks us through the features of the boat. It is a hybrid. It also has a get out slash scar face whiteness to

it. The Tiger also was alluding to Scarface. I felt like. Yeah, 100%. Same with the big spinning fountain that said, what does it say? God only knows why? What does it say? And the Tommy guns and the Pile of Cocans. Yeah, exactly. It was all a little bit on the nose. Was I watching Scarface?

Killing of your best friend because he wanted a Mary or sister. I actually think he would have been a pretty good guy if he just encouraged it. She needs to marry someone. She's been out party in the clubs. I'm pretty sure I was watching Scarface. I think you're watching Scarface. But the Spangali strings are out here quite a bit.

It's 10 minutes into the season. And Sandy says, if you fall in love, it's fine to, you know, very fine line. Touch one another. But we get a cut to Dave and to Natasha looking at each other, but also not really because, you know, they made it that way when they edited it that way, you know, that might have not even been a thing.

But you know, it's Spengali's. We've We've got you know 38 episodes of this show, okay? Just take it easy with the we got plenty of time. Yeah plenty of time Is this where your TFC thing comes in? Sure, I'll don it now. I think they were fucking before they got on the And this isn't new that's a tinfoil hat that obviously was happening the build up And I feel like even my deadpan delivery worked exactly how I wanted to do. We all knew that's not T.S.E. at all.

Actually, I did not. I really bought this line. You bought it into the lie? Yeah. You sucker. Well, I'm trying to be more naive. You fool. Sorry.

I watched it. The first time I watched this, I had had six. It was so intense. It was like six white claws. It was the first time I watched this. I had had six. It was so intense. I watched six white claws. That's new. I watched myself. I watched it with a bunch of below deck casuals. I wouldn't even call them casuals.

I think I made these people watch below deck for the first time. They all loved it. Yeah, you're like, we're putting it on. And I actually liked it because I was getting this input from these people who hadn't seen the show. And we all sniffed it out immediately

that they, from the hug. From the hug the hog man how can I be so so blind Dylan that see this is why I got I've oh sound like a pig but I see these things that's why you wrote the book that's why I wrote the book you're saying I haven't slept with enough weather eggs precisely right I saw all the interactions because I used to be out at the bar and I'd understand like oh don, don't waste your time with her, she's fucking that guy. I ain't don't have to do enough vulve for that thing. I just ain't done it. This is getting you ahead of myself, but I have to ask when she said, do you want to screw?

Did you think that was the first sexual interaction they had? Yeah. Oh wow. You fool. You fool! I don't even thought it was kind of hot. I do super hot. It was hot.

It was super hot. Alright, let's move on so We have to meet the real fucking stars of this show. It's a very important part of the show Nick taking away David I got to fight in my notes. I've been going basically Are we jumping to the preference sheet meeting? No, no, no, no, no, stop it. Oh Did I do I have them and it was weird the way they introduced them usually we get a whole A whole Entrance I think I think what they were Unwittingly doing is creating stars like Darian by giving them that grand entrance

Yeah, so now they just want to they have to name them because they are like important parts of the boat Yeah, but they just snuck in that the ones that are actually gonna be doing the docking this year cause after you people are worded in. No, no, no, no, no, no, you've got that wrong. It's because they were missing. I know, but I actually think they're gonna be docking all year and the people I'm talking about are chief officer Ray and his cohort best friend

and a guy who should have a buddy cop TV show with him, them Carlos chief engineer these two are peas and pods their chemistry was electric even though we saw them on different screens you could tell they were thinking about one another yeah I hope we get more of them and I'm sure we will when sanny crashes the snooze you know it is that we didn't get the fanfare that we usually get because usually we do have that 20th century fox kind of drum roll before we get to meet these superstars but whatever they shine. I think it would be almost insulting if you heard this but I'm gonna say it.

I made Darian the starry is today when we covered for the first season below deck reg season six, starring KHS and we might be two inside. We might be two inside. But Sandy wraps this whole thing up by saying The people aboard home are in charge of hospitality and they are in charge of lives so everyone You know, right look alive. It's everybody's home

So for the part where people aren't paying attention to their actual job because there are cameras there and they could kill themselves or other people or they're just on a SIG break lots of SIG breaks. Well, that's a SIG East. I remember one of the most embarrassing moments of my professional career So I was working at a startup was a young man and I was just over it I would take like 10 smoke breaks a day and a new guy came in from Silicon Valley Real ballbuster. He wanted a company to make money or something and he pulled me out He wanted me money for himself He pulled me 100% he That's anybody at a start

Blood that plays dry and then left But you gotta say what's going on you? He's taking like 10 sig breaks yesterday Like that's not okay He brought that up to you Yeah, I was like chill man Will you write in a fucking book about me? Go mind your own piece and queues you bitch Yeah, I was like chill man. We were writing a fucking book about me go mind your own piece and queues you bitch. Yeah, I work hard Greg. I thought you were gonna tell that story where you left a diet

Coke in the workplace refrigerator and then you took a Ziggy break and you forgot that you left the Coke in the freezer and then exploded. Do you remember that? That was Jay Moore. No, that was Dilly. That's not a big deal. Well, I said one of the most embarrassing moments of my professional career. Right, right, right. So Yeah, you should have been like fucking why you talking to me Greg? Why don't you go check the daily active users? Yeah, yeah, they're down So we go off with the different departments fifth elements getting's getting a shit at it, right out of the gate. Big time. She is sucking down SIGs and not working. Jason is all fucking from Indiana with a rag in his hand. And Reagan is, yeah, she's just sitting idly by.

This is gonna be the first of 18 SIG breaks she's taken today. She needs to finish the pack. Indy 500 actually is another thing Indian. Oh, that's true 100% so Reagan speaks of her parents divorce and of other things But she's another one with an accent that I really just can't understand what you're saying She said something about growing up in a Muslim country Curving her wild side quite a bit, but again, I really couldn't understand. I'm telling you, just call her Ray Gun.

She's a, that's her cosplay character. I want to, she, she doesn't work. I like Fifth Element, but Ray Gun's so good too. Well, yeah, Ray Gun, all Ray Gun does her, like if she was in Street Fighter or something like that. Right. Her weapon is she just smokes. Remember?

That's so much more. She wins, silly enough. So much she wins. Silly enough. So much more effective than block. Yeah. Yeah. She does win. Yeah, she wins.

Do you know how many people secondhand smokes kills a year? Yeah, she wins. She's like a broken character. You know, the developers really screwed up at character. Regans just way too strong. She smokes and wins. So, what are we talking about? Since we're on Reagan and her problem is a boasting.

And, and, and, and, obviously I had a real problem with her delegation, or if you will, the trickle down of duties that she was giving. I had a great joke. Way for it though. I would actually even argue that what she is doing is only serving the people at the top.

I'm gonna say, I'm no fan of ergonomics. I am so stupid. You're like, she's doing this trickle down. I was like, economic. I said, if you will. Hey, Joe, I think we skipped over one thing. The interior meeting. How her accent is like Shakespeare

and you just need to get acclimated to it before it starts to make sense? No, I wasn't gonna say that. Can you name it Reaganomics? Yeah. Well, actually. No, welcome home is the name of that. Oh, that's, that's big.

Reaganomics, cut this, that's episode two. Okay, don't get ahead of yourself. I don't want to cut it. All right, Natasha. No. Does an interior meeting with her crew? Did we go over that? No.

Are you gonna go over it? No. I liked her because she said, Look, there's not gonna be any fucking ranks. So Kyle doesn't get a rank and Natalya doesn't get a rank. They're both gonna be second stuice. Love that. She says she likes to keep the peace. She's had 10 people work under her before.

So she knows her business and she's fucking hot. I really like it. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And then Kyle got sassy. He's like, Hey, I've been a chief stu for four years. I should definitely be second.

She held the line and she's like, no, we'll decide after. Hold the line, yeah. He stood up for himself, love that. And I think Natasha's gonna be a great chiefs do. But her personal life might fuck it up. No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to get out of myself. There was one thing that I was like, uh-oh, do we have good judgment?

Did it involve her personal life? No, okay. So, provisions arrive and we meet, we learn a little bit more about Jason, who again, is as sear out as you can possibly be. He was a commodities trader. I'm not buying that. Well, I buy it because I have friends

who have traded commodities, but they trade like, I don't know. Grain. Grain, like penny stocks and pork futures. Like, you know, there you go. I went to University of Minnesota specifically, I don't know what I'm talking about. I was housed at the St. Paul campus,

which is one of the biggest agricultural schools. In fact, Nathan Borlough won the Nobel Peace Prize because he solved World Hunger with GMOs, essentially, which now everybody derives, even though he saved millions of lives in Africa. Sure, well, they co-opted that beautiful invention and used it to fuck over the world, so that's probably why, but.

But he gets demonizedized not his fault. Yeah, everything's a tool, just don't let people die, maybe not everyone's eating it. You're brilliant decisions, Demonsin. We all know a guy who only occasionally shapes for big occasions, and it's because that occasional shave really hurts. The time of year for big occasions, and yet there he is, suffering with that cheap drugstore razor, let's help him out. Henson's Shaving's line of razors, built with aerospace precision, deliver a smooth shave,

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about the debate those sets. Within the Midwest, if you were talking about commodity trading, you are 1,000%, 1,000% talking about grain, grain. We're talking about grain. Corn, soybean, I bet Indiana does a fuck ton of soybean. This guy daily was looking at soybean numbers and making a killing. Futures in grain, if you know a little bit of meteorology,

you're gonna fucking kill it. This is my whole turn. Yeah, I don't want to see it on your point. But he left all that windfall to paint his toes and scrub a boat. And fuck other sea rats. I mean, there's no glamour in trading corn. He sold all of his stuff,

netting him $3,100 and he moved to the beach. Fuck it. Sea rat, there's some darkness in this one too. He gives me Jamie Vibes defensive by default and possibly loads women, but we've got plenty of time to get to know him. We've got plenty of time to get to know him. We've got more important stuff to get to. The slide is still in customs.

Can't beat a route. And Sandy says, let's hope we knock it out of the park. Nothing like a little, uh, little hell-mary for charter number one. Okay, so meanwhile, meanwhile, more vaguely ethnic music plays, and we get a little bit of a meanwhile. My god, my nose no terrible tonight. Reagan smokes again. Seventh sig the sun sets Kyle calls Natalia disgusting and Natasha and Dave give each other a good squeeze before bed and we rise for the next day You're not gonna get to the preference preference sheet meeting. Did I skip no?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I couldn't have done that. You did. No, it's okay. It's okay. It's all right. You're fucking killing it, kid. Wait, do they do go to bed? Hold on, I have great notes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, all right. We're gonna get to patty being right. Put that. Yep, yep, I think it might have my note. Hey, can't we just do it till why are we wasting time fighting? Let's give the audience what they want. It's time for the preparation. One of the season. The preparation. One of the season. One of the season.

One of the season. One of the season. One of the season. One of the season. One of the season. One of the season. One of the season. One of the season.

One of the season. One of the season. One of the season. One of the season. One of the season. One of the season. One of the season. I can't wait to find out more about these horrible charter guests. I think his name is Chris. He's a real dick. Billy Rod Regill. Billy is actually our primary.

He's a prestigious that is such a... What's the next word? Prick. President. Oh, yeah. But prestigious is just, it's subjective. I'm gonna take it out. He's a president and co-founder

of a Los Angeles space at agency. He and his fiance, co-primary, the manager pan. They used that word. Did you, was that on the, it was on the preference sheet? Yeah, that's so funny. They used prestigious. He wrote that. He absolutely wrote that.

God, let's talk to him next week. I couldn't find him on the social meets. Billy Rodriguez. There is a lot of him. He and his fiance, co-primary, whose name I skipped to my next thing because I was trying to catch up on the notes and then go back. Met in Japan and will be celebrating their anniversary during their stay. In addition to enjoying a Japanese themed evening, these guests would also like to invite a local drag performer for an all-out drag night while on charter. They expect to use all the available water toys, including the slide out every single day, which Captain Sandy and Forbes will not be happening, because it's caught up in customs,

because people think it is used to smuggle cocaine. I love that that was on the preference sheet, and like important, had the slide out at all times, and it took to, I think was a day two, or afternoon one for Sandy to be like, oh yeah, it's not here, it's in customs. Sandy, cut that off at the, you know, start out the day of that. You have to be like, oh yeah, it's not here. It's in custom. Sandy, cut that off at the, you know,

start out the day of that. You have deproactive with that. I saw in your preference sheet meeting that you guys wanted to slide eight here. Yeah, use that kind of candor when you're telling them that. And also, sorry. And no, it's okay. And also, Reagan should have been more on top of it.

She was warned by Captain Sandy, one of the few positives I can say for that fake captain, but she, Reagan has bad use of resources, another fault of Reaganomics. Yeah. And yeah, no slide, they want lots of beef, lots of lobster. Lots of beef. The guy, you can tell he's sassy just by what he writes

on his preference. She beats tastes like dirt, he said he doesn't he doesn't want beats And then Dave made a joke which I didn't really get what I kind of yet But it's like it's it's almost like a non-secret Computer computer root you can't beat a root. Yeah, I mean, okay. We get it And beat a room Sandy thought that was hilarious and and and so much so she said it explicitly, which is a sign of a great joke. It is why Jerry broke up with that girl

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So we learn of Kyle coming out South Africa. It turns out to be still an extremely fucking bigoted place. There was a there was a period of time where I was like, oh, South Africa seems nice. No, South Africa is drenched in fucking hate. Hate black people, hate gays, just chill. You've never been there, dude. I have a different take on this one.

Oh, I've never been there. Oh, you've been to South Africa? No, I have. No, I have a different taken on how this went down. When Kyle shared with Natalia that he came out just last year, and when he did, everybody said, we know. Did you think we were gay?

That's insulting. That's insulting to our judges. That's something to tell you. They were like, you've had a boyfriend for 12 years And he's like I was keeping that a secret. We knew you know what man I pass by a note and this does give credence to what you guys were talking about when Dave gets Natasha the coffee The next morning and she tells Natalia about it and then pretends to suck off a banana That's so obvious that was a half a second, but it's like Natasha did

that to the camera too. It's like, oh, have you not caught this yet? Well, they were having sex before the show. Oh, yes. That is so wild. I wish this was a picture. I can't wait to talk to Natasha. Well, we've got to, we've got work to do though. And so does the crew. Blueraz British shots are being prepared, and just like Kyle said, there's stuff everywhere if there's a whole fillet. Yeah, those blue shots, well done there. What were they, Blue Jelly shot?

So this ranchers, this is what? They're served people paying $60,000 a day so that they look like they just blue smurfs. Blue Jolly rancher guys. It's a hit quick thing. I'm not defending them as classy, but it's. Definitely not. Blue jolly ranchers.

This was my moment where I was like, you're 100% right. I don't know if that was a good call, because it is a, it's welcome home. It is a hybrid luxury oceanic vehicle. Just pour the flutes of voov and leave the raspberry shots for 11 o'clock at night Let's not welcome them onto the boat with blue shots and let's it's explicitly set on the preference meeting Which there's a chance it was be as evidenced by the fact that he goes I hate blue

Jolly ranchers, because that's, he likes the counterdictive. I was gonna say that shouldn't have been served unless it did say Billy Poe on the preference sheet. I love to blow smurfs. No, okay. All right, and no, everybody was really weirded out by it. They were like, what the fuck is this? That's what he should. So the guests arrive, they are a little too fabulous

for blueberry Jolly Rancher shots. But we've covered that. So while the guests get a tour, Reagan continues to be a two by four of a human being. She cannot lift the luggage and she needs to finish the pack. So she takes another sick break. But how does she do with docking?

Actually really well. But with the superstars there, it's really tough to give too much credence to this kind of elitmus test. We have to see how she does with Z in storm. I call him Carl Array. Carl Array. Carl Array, Reg Epsen. So, what for it. It's too hard to say Carollary. The dolphins, which should be named pizzas, do not move this season. They stiched and close and Sandy will run into one in a few short episodes.

They do still move, by the way. No. They move a little, yeah, yeah. They're not concrete. They're not like, there's not a foundation there. You watch them move. They're boys, they move a little. They're just heavy, heavy, buoyed dolphins. Yeah, they're not pizzas. They're not like there's not a foundation there. You watch them. They're boys. They're boys They move. They're just heavy heavy booze. Yeah, they're not pizzas. You know, it should be called pizza. Yeah, but A little birdie who we had had on which was a I would out them

But I can't remember who it was, but they said captain. You mean a barnacle. Yeah. No, no, no Birdie. Well a birdie is like just I should have said barnacle. I'm talking about a guess or a crew member We talked to said captain saying he gets final cut Oh, that's right. I believe that was Lexi in this episode great Lexi I told you I'd out of him if I knew the name Lexi told us saying to get final cut You could see that in this episode because Sandy was laying a ton of groundwork for all the mistakes she was gonna make. Like you guys can bunk in the same, if you're gonna like fuck each other, whatever.

She did that hate speech. As she goes, I'm definitely gonna hit something later in the season. But by the way, they won't move the fucking dolphins. Right, right, right. Just move the pizzas and I can get through there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you could just see she had her hand on this

to make her look good. There's a lot of foreshadowing like dark night It took too long, but I'm a stand-by-no, no, no, no, no, no, you nailed it and there is an incredible amount of foreshadowing in the dark night So you caught me up on the birdie thing. Have you ever heard a little birdie told us? Yeah, we have birdies and barnacles. So Dave does not use recipes. He throws balls at the wall and if he can catch them he can do it use recipes. He throws balls at the wall and if he can catch them, he can do it. I tell you, I don't want to step on what you're going to pry bust his balls, but I have to say this because you know I'm a gross filthy yucky normie. I know nothing about food. I know everything about wine. Dave's process sounds like the get to know you part of the show chopped that always grosses me out

when they're getting to know the filthy yucky normie showing up to have Ted and I have a diner and Kentucky. Yeah, like a hamburger joint and they're like food is my passion. I'm always reinventing how ingredients are used. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I don't think I like Dave. Well, I would say that there are better metaphors. He doesn't deserve her. Hey. There is a bit. Minus minus Patrick is in love. If she's black Irish, most Irish people have red, no that's a, no thing, it's not racist. Black Irish is red headed white skin people and those beautiful blue eyes with the brunette hair that's what you call black Irish.

It's very, very attractive. My sister did 23 in me and I'm 1.1% connoisseur. Okay, are you, what the fuck are you talking about? He's obsessed with it, Tasha, she's black Irish, they have a little... What the fuck does that mean? I told you this, it's mostly red-headed, ugly people in Ireland would put one up.

Do you not see how I'm confused about the usage of the word black, where does that come from? Black hair. Oh? Black hair. Oh. Black hair. I wish people don't have black hair. Oh, they have black irish. Yeah.

Okay, got it. Mm-hmm. Okay, and she's one of them. So you're saying most of them are ginger vituses. And gross and frackly and white and pacing. Hey, I'm Irish. Cut it out, man. And so are you. You're called the Irish bug. Yeah, but I'm Irish Cut it out man, and so are you you're called the Irish bug

I'm good looking you're black Irish I Die my hair You're gray Irish all right both of you stop you're a black Irish though, right? You'd black hair I was my dad's Italian Handball is not a great metaphor for culinary exploration. Let's move on Handball is not a great metaphor for culinary exploration. Let's move on. And let's get back above deck and Reagan continues to just be so Reagan. And that's what, and what makes it worse is that she's being so Reagan at Jason who is quite a little asshole. The two of them get a break and Jason has worked so hard that he has passed the

point of hunger. Hey Gandhi, you're not proving any fucking points here man. This is where I was like uh-oh don't like this guy because he's playing into the oh I had to work so hard and lift all this stuff which yeah I take your point you have done much more and she said I I'm not helping you lift things, which is frustrating. But also it's day one, you're understaffed and she's your fucking boss. So maybe don't talk to her like that. Two things can be true at once, Dylan. As life is, it shows me more.

Not really. First off, she throws the line out there. That's why I'm a boast and you're a deckan, meaning you're just a bitch. Well, again, I couldn't understand what you were saying. She said that and I thought that was gross. You get out there and you drag, if you can't lift it, Ray Gunn, you some superpowers. So, like one of those siggies up,

have the smoke lift the back, what's up and bring them on the boat or wherever. Magic hand. But my point is, you gotta show, you gotta lead by example. You know, bring some of that crap in, although he is a bitch too. He is a bitch too.

Yeah. I agree. She wins. Yeah. Middle porridge, I agree with both your assessments. I definitely think she's eventually gonna get fired because she is lazy and she's doing what Dylan did at the start up and taking 10 smoke, smoke breaks a day.

And Greg's gonna come in and be like, hey, stop taking so many smoke breaks. But this guy did not handle it well. Be like, hey, why aren't you contributing? Not like get really passive aggressive on. I'm not hungry. And he's just like making it so it's an impossible relationship off the beginning. Even earlier, she said, she was, she'd razzed him a little bit. She's from Massix.

She said, oh, was that rope too hard for you? And he goes, I hope you're kidding when you say that. It's like, hey, she, I mean, yeah, why are you getting so flared up? I can't understand what you say. He's a little on edge. And by the way, I was going to disagree with Dylan about her get, Reagan getting fired in like a couple episodes. She may get fired because I think that Siggie smoke will really bother Santa because it reminds her of the meetings, you know?

Yeah, hey Captain Sandy will be a you have a prescription for that. I'm an asshole, you know? Yeah, no the second people are drinking the spressos out of Styrofoam cups. She's gonna fucking lose it She's quick someone give me a black coffee and a doll. No balls of M&Ms. Okay so let's get to lunch we begin with a minstrone soup now listen there is nothing wrong with humble fair. Ministrone soup is a lovely soup and a hardy one meant for an evening after the farm. It might not be much like the jolly rancher shot. You are first foot forward. Ministrone Soup. My Malta. My favorite chef who actually, he does an incredible minister. You're doing on markers? No, uh, boy, You're trying to let the Olive Garden?

No, boy RD. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's a, it's a just a wonderful take. Yeah. I'm sorry, I guessed so many times. No, those are, those are, those are good guesses.

And I like that, especially when you hit the gaps. I mean, that's funny, that's cobbling. That's what we do. Cobbling, we have got some plus for the second course. The primary is not happy. He seems to be hunting for problems now. Oh, yeah Lemon is one thing octopus should always be accompanied by some type of citrus or a Sauce, but the gagging is a little overboard and then we get no one buys that guy's gagging on anything. Yeah, he's like

Oh my god. I think he would even agree with it. Then we get to the beef cheeks which have within them sentiment. Now the primary has a very bitchy moment with Kyle wherein he says it was on the preference sheet honey. Actually honey, no it wasn't honey. No we checked the sheet is dragged out after a bucket of pasta hits the table Chill 71 pots it's too much. I think there was sea bass too good God But the primary is put in this place Dave has a Really good attitude about the entire thing too. He's got a good disposition overall. He doesn't seem like that rat-faced fucking do toss or Ryan. That can get you

a long, a long way by 100%. You have a good attitude. Be positive. Be accommodating. All right, so maybe I'm turning the corner on Dave. And you know who else was a fucking hero? Kyle. Great service. service service. You're getting a demeaned and you are just you keep keep a good front I'll work on it. I'll I love Kyle so far. Yeah, they played the clip of the whole season He later turns into a monster. I think right right now. I like him Well, that's what close quarters with she rats will do to you. That's right. That's right. I love this guy And I'm a huge fan and I want him more than anyone on this season because I feel like you'll fucking spill some tea. I would love to talk to some kind of you would just be a fun. While you're doing that, let me pander to Billy.

Billy, I know we're giving you some tough time right now. I want you to hit old patty up at my Instagram, whatever that is. And aqua pad 5,071. Yeah, we want to, we want to interview you and don't worry, unless you're simple chalk, we'll make you look good. And up to this point, I mean, we're gonna say some bad things about it, but we haven't really gotten into how big of a piece of shit billions yet.

Yeah, we'll get there right now. So Sandy says that the toughest thing on the crew is going to be facing the unloading of the water toys as they are in the hole and have to be moved in and out through a small opening to the guts of the boat. Now Sandy, I was sure told them, huh, what is this? Okay, so this is what I wrote

and this is what happened on the show. So she told the crew to get all of the toys out. Right, right. She's like, get everything out. And then when she sees that they're a bunch of opulent gays and that they are pulling out a kayak that no one is going to be using, then kind of spins it and goes, why don't you check with them what toys they want? She is just, my gosh, but this is where the powder keg is struck a flame. They don't want to work with their water toys, they don't want to paddle and they don't want to try to balance on anything.

They want motors in the form of ski do's and whatever the bob thing is that you hold on to. Well to be fair Billy had a hard time articulating this where he got into a little dust up with Ray with Reagan there. He wanted the water toy that he gets to lay on like a beach whale. And Reagan is not in a welcoming disposition. Reagan was like, I don't know what.

I think she nods and then walks off without saying anything. She is just the most confusing human being. The combination though right now what's going on is he's 15 drinks deep and he's slurring and can't understand. And she is beyond. She is beyond. You cannot understand any word she says.

It's like in the UFC when Joe Rokin is talking to a translator who knew his 12 languages and is talking to a fighter from Portugal. There is too much translation going on which causes him to almost spit in her face. Well, being a drunk idiot and I've experienced this thing's escalate. Oh, yeah, you have it. Things escalate really quickly when you feel like someone is diminishing you, but they're really not, but you read their face and you're not reading it right. Or perhaps you are, but you take it way to another level.

That's what's happening with Billy here. And I meant to say Bjork, not Bjorn. So the primary has found just a sassy camaraderie in his fellow homosexual and has declared war on right now I get it he's drunk but lunch has been over for an hour and there are no water toys in the water so he does have valid gripes but fear not Sandy is there to save the day she says your problems are valid we have no slide we have no crew also you can't ride the jet skis because your drunk

i mean grim reaper this woman huh just a bear of bad news when he said like i'm sorry you can't have the jet skis because you've had too much to drink if i was billy i would have swirled my glass. I would have looked at her in the face and said, I haven't been drinking. And she'd be like, and I'd be like,

I've heard you do that. I haven't been drinking. Have I? Captain Sandy. A good point. You don't have the slide. I don't care. I'm gonna be right in this jet ski.

Yeah, I that is in the eyes as I swirl the glass because what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do Sandy? I haven't been drinking I love that so much so eventually the Jetskies are put in the water Billy jumps in the water says it's salty I mean I hate working for this guy. He just complains about everything. He's the ocean is salty. I'm normally prestigious president. I'm a proponent for the guests. You're paying that much money. You call the shot on the tee. But he's fucking kinglier here this prick. Right. So dinner is going to

be between 9 and 9.30 and Dave has to turn at the fuck around. We learn of his history. He was poor. There was pain. He is a searat. Now the techno begins to slap quite a bit and then that Moroccan shit starts smacking and that is when we get to dinner. The music this season is so good. So Billy is not happy about the very French neon lights. Again Natasha, do we? What's the deal? Because this looks like a Claire's. So, um, he's sucking down a espresso martini's though, so he'll be fine in a bit. First course is wagyu filet mushrooms and potatoes. Billy, of course, has found an issue with the steak.

It is too perfectly cooked for him. And listen, I don't have an issue with him not liking the doneness of the steak. It's the way he goes about it. He's like Kyle The guy Just fucking say cook it a little bit more and send it back. I had alright So my wife and I we watch this by the way There were a couple different different angles on that steak one looked like it was still alive and the other one looked like it was perfectly cooked You're the expert on the show, so I'll, of course, defer to you. This is the problem with Wagyu.

You have to fucking sear it black and blue because the fat is so precious, but then the fat is really render, and it has this weird mouth texture. I'll take, you know, good old American corn-fed nuclear-fueled slaughtered at 16 months, f-cow over, you know, massage them, play them Bill Marley. What? I can't talk. It's too much weed, ironically. I'm talking about Bob.

It's okay. I think you were right, though. It's how he handled it. That was what was wrong about the situation. That was what I was trying to say. Right, right. Exactly. Hey, meanwhile, the deck hands arrive.

I don't like storm. I don't like his name. I don't like his face. hopefully I'll get to know him and I'll like him, but I like his hand. But anyway, they're immediately tasked with clearing out the hallway. And meanwhile, Regan smokes a ciggy. I'm maybe, maybe I'm high.

Oh yeah, both of you. Me too. That's all right. Maybe it's because I am high. Did you take a chocolate? I don't believe. No, no, I'd just breathe in all the smoke in the room. I don't believe that I gave my not.

Yeah, you did. What did I give? 91. Oh, it gave 91 not. Within the context of premiere episodes. Minus 9 knots was because of this once again, M. Knight, Shammy, man, Orphan Annie's actually a 33-year-old former prostitute type twist, where the Dakhans,

who are gonna save the day, Z and Sohram show up, and everything's gonna be okay now. No, it's not gonna be okay. The problems are you don't have a slide, and one of your employees only wants to smoke cigarettes and basically like scoffed in the face of your very wanty guest. Z ain't gonna do shit, except get drunk in two nights

and fall on his face. He's gonna lift some stuff. That was my minus nine knots. He's gonna lift some stuff and then they're gonna go to dinner and his eyes are gonna roll into the back of his head. So welcome home is such a great day. Natasha and Kyle get ready as the drag queen is arriving.

Natasha is going to be dressing as a man and Kyle says he would sit on her face. So night one sexual harassment rule broken. The drag queen head's on over to the boat. Is she on PCP? She has a hell of a routine which ends with her body slamming herself to the ground and everyone is just having such a time. This was like, I want to know what this person's life is in a seven minute YouTube clip. And then never, this person's life is. In a seven minute YouTube clip,

and then never, because it's so sad, but this is a drag queen who is ferried onto yachts and multi, and is not good. Kyle does some investigative work. He digs into Natasha and Dave's relationship, which both is and is not a relationship at the same time. Man, do I feel foolish. Natasha says it is great having a partner in times like these to blow off steam.

Also advantage fucking someone in the same cabin. They won't fucking rat. That's right. They still will because they're sea rats, but it does, you know, insulate the, the, the second. Well, less people, less witnesses. 100%. So, night one were,

really becoming well acquainted with one another. Let's get to the next day. Next day. We rise and Natasha is naked. We are kind of married at this point. I think so. I mean, it's crazy. It happened in one night.

One night. The passion. All right, so we end with a meanwhile's crazy. It happened in one night. One night. The passion. All right, so we end with a meanwhile. Meanwhile. It's all ray gun. This is ray guns, meanwhile. She should have had her schedule beat out. She does not.

Watch, guys, well, yeah. Also, she does not have the tender ready. She wants toys in the waters. Also, none of the toys are out, but don't worry. It's not like there is a fucking tsunami coming. The stabilizers are shot, and we've turned this vessel into Captain Glenn's in an instant. We'll see how things go next week. Uh, yeah, we'll see how Sandy like ends this because she was making all this up.

Stabilizers, are you playing fucking Firefox? She made this up, this isn't the thing, you're not a real captain. I would like to talk to Carlos Ray, but what actually happened do a barrel roll It was like when captain lead to the exact same thing He said the thrusters are some bullshays may they're make-up words and they confuse us with Jart do a barrel roll We'll see you next week and we'll see you Well, we'll see you tomorrow for below deck down under if you want to listen to that also join us a patreon We'll see you tomorrow for below deck down under if you want to listen to that also join us a patreon We'll see you July 13th two days at the Irvine improv. Love you guys for listening. We'll see you soon

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