Another Below Deck Podcast - What Slade Pays For | RHOC S19 E11
Episode Date: September 22, 2025Dylan and Pat are back and Ruby is gone again in the CIA. We talk Staples, eggs, chefs, The Abbey, therapy, love and more from Bravo's RHOC.Factor Meals – Go to: factormeals.com/badtv50off enter Bad...TV50off Lumi Gummies – Go to: https://lumigummies.com/ enter code BadTV PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en
Transcript
Discussion (0)
That's the last time I went to the abbey.
Yeah, no, the abbey's a fun spot.
I mean, great food.
Not good-looking strippers, though.
These ones were good-looking.
What are you talking about?
Are you kidding me?
One of them looked like he should work at Staples,
and he'd be like the least good-looking person at Staples.
That's one of the meanest things I've ever heard.
Hi, hello, and welcome to another brand's
making new episode of Bad TV.
You know, I got another kink in my neck working.
I can feel it.
It's stress.
Oh, yeah.
You know, you're walking up these.
I'm walking up the steps today and I go,
oh, boom, there it is.
It's like one of those freaking Pac-Man ghosts
that he's going around in my spine up there.
And I'm like, I feel you.
I know it's up there.
Don't you have, don't you feel bad for me?
me? I do, but I was going to make it about myself. I'm of a certain age. If I burp too loud,
I hurt my back. Yeah. Well, I'm Dylan. That's Pat. Great to be here. Great to be here talking
about the Real Housewives of Orange County. Kalen's here too. Kalen is here too. Big fan of the show. Did you
watch episode five, Alieners yet? No, I'm going to watch it after this. I have an hour to kill and I
can't wait to watch it. Are you going to watch it? Yeah. I don't have any time, Dylan. I'm like you.
I'm busy.
I'm hustling.
I got 18 different things going.
And I,
like,
I don't get to watch television,
especially when my wife is in the house.
Because she doesn't allow me to watch good television.
You know what she does allow you to watch?
Real Housewives of Orange County.
Where is Ruby?
You may be wondering,
well,
where else would Ruby be?
She is gallivanting up to Rhode Island.
I think that they're going to some kind of wedding wherein,
I think
Ruby said something about wearing masks
and going into the basement
and seeing all the people
they'd captured
or something like that.
I'm not sure what she's up to.
But we're here to talk
about Real Housewives of O.C.
announcement, Salt Lake City.
We have done the first episode.
Boy, what an episode it was.
Baby Gorgeous was not there.
Jared is splatting on everyone and everything.
We're so excited to break that season down,
but it will be a Patreon.com
slash another podcast network.
Well, obviously, if you guys are
listeners of ours you heard the first episode and you realized how amazing it is and you can't live
your life watching that television show without us recapping it also i thought it was a fun episode
it was great but there was one mistake that was uh in that episode we called the way that the rating
system we said it was snowballs oh it's not it's wives it's wives how many wives do you give it
i think we can work on that i think we can work on that because this show is tits yeah this show
That's good, right?
That's good.
So how many tits would you give this episode?
Okay.
This episode was all over the place.
Pat, that's what I said about last week.
And it's just because we, I don't think for the lay, it's a problem because they're just
watching the show.
For us, it's like, hang on a second.
But I will say that our protestations to the format of this show really does come
from, I think, our perceived failure on their part to tell a cohesive story, right?
Because if we can't track it, then they've done a bad job.
Yeah.
It's just a hodgepodge.
Yeah.
It's like a goddamn hodgepodge.
I was like trying to compare it to like a movie or something that like made no sense and it was long.
Yeah.
People are like, I'm so excited for him.
You know that movie him?
I saw the trailer for that.
Can I tell you something?
I'm so over the fucking, you know, it's kind of.
kind of a movie about something, but it's really just fucking cool shots of shit.
Yeah.
I don't care about the cinematography and the cool images.
I want the, I want a movie.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
If I want cool images, I'll go to Pornhub.
Well, you'll go to an art installation or you'll go to, you know, MoMA or something
like that.
Right. Or that.
Like, like, like, like honestly, though, I have popcorn right now.
I have popcorn.
I'm here to watch a movie, okay?
don't give me this when I have popcorn.
I fear they're going to give you that.
I'm not going to see it.
No, no, no, no, no.
I want to read the reviews first.
You know, us had a lot of amazing imagery.
And it started out with like,
oh, what the hell is this?
A bunch of fucking bunny rabbits.
Can I tell you?
Hands across America.
I remember that?
I've heard the reviews.
And they are not good.
The reviews go like this.
Interesting, but wasn't really about anything.
Which is like, obviously.
Obviously, right?
Sorry.
It's just, sorry.
Let's get into Real House.
If I want that, I'll call my grandma.
Right, right, right.
Okay.
All right.
And your grandma's dead.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Tamrat, I want to talk about her.
She has two modes.
Combative?
Oh, I thought you were going to say bitch and demon.
Oh, no, no.
I've learned.
No, no, no.
There's a certain way to talk to our feet.
male audience. You can't use words like that. Combative.
Bitch. Another way of saying bitch. And a margarita lesbian. It's like she gets like sexualized with
the girls like, let's party. I don't think there's any, I could be wrong. You know, I'm usually on
the wrong end of this. But I think our female listeners think that Tamara is a bitch and far worse
things. They just don't want to hear us say that. I don't think you're, I don't think you're right about
done. Oh, okay. And we got to be us. Tamara is, you know what, I'll upgrade her to an evil
cunt. I mean, she just, she just is. She is. Who doesn't think that? I'll tell you who does,
her daughter. All right. Yeah. She knows her better than way to do. Probably a few exes and a few
former cast members. What did you think about Katie, not being on our television screens for a second
week.
Didn't even notice.
Didn't even notice.
That's the worst thing you can say about someone.
Yes, it is.
You know, Todd didn't show up to the party.
Who's Todd?
Oh, he didn't.
Yeah.
You don't want to be that.
You don't want to be that.
No.
You want to, as like we do this podcast, tell, you know, we want to either be loved and
worshipped or hated.
There's no middle grab.
There is no middle.
All right.
I like to.
it. Gretchen is really annoying me. Oh, wow.
With that stupid storyline about someone having sex during a, who forgets to turn off
the record button? Also, like, I love that you brought that up because there is, there is no
multiverse where that audio exists. Right. It's, that's just no, no. No. But also,
what could the name possibly be? So we're tracking this. So this was,
when she was still married to Simon, I hope,
because it wasn't with Eddie.
Uh-huh.
Because if it was with Eddie,
she's still with that guy.
What?
Okay.
I think Eddie came in in the picture around 2012.
Is,
did they bleep out,
um,
the guy from,
who,
who's the guy that I'm,
Mark,
um,
his name's Mark.
His name,
okay,
they do that.
Uh,
they do that.
I just want to fly.
Mark McGrath.
Mark McGrath.
I used to open for him.
Get this.
I played with my buddy last night.
I whipped out the guitar.
I hadn't played this particular guitar in a while.
It had a Sugar Ray guitar pick that I took when we were touring with it.
Sugar Ray.
So, okay.
So who could this name possibly be?
Like, it would be like a Mark McGrath is the most famous person this can possibly be.
Interesting.
Interesting.
You know, come on.
What are we talking about?
Now, Dill, they were having sex.
Apparently it was caught in an audio form.
You know, there is a famous song by Guns and Roses in which in the middle of the song
there's like a long like bridge and it's Axel Rose banging a girl in the studio and she has
an orgasm.
No, she doesn't.
Well, that's the story.
And it was Stephen Adler's girlfriend at the time.
He was so disturbed by it.
He went on to 30, put together like a 35 year crack addiction.
Oh, yeah.
And then they kicked him out of the band.
interesting yeah axel rose a bit of an asshole but how many tits would you give this episode oh i'll give
it it was great it was like 49 tits yeah i would put it at right around 49 tits for me too actually
um outside of the um grotesque back and forth from uh beverly hills to tomicula you know it was a
fun episode right we've got shannon um really um kind of like um what's the she's shelter dogs
at Tamara a little bit you know
Tamara says you know well your father
was a drunk right and she just breaks out of her cage
right and that's somebody who's hand shy
and wounded and also a drunk
we also got the Abby that was very fun
Emily very clearly wants to have sex
with somebody who is not putting a lean
cuisine on her backside
and I get that
I understand that no one wants a lean cuisine
on their back no it's too hot
it's too hot
anything coming out of a
wave yeah don't put that out don't put that on my back and and rail away at me i'm watching
forensic files and to me i would say why have you presented yourself this way and why is your
lower back so perfect for laying food upon but that would be unreasonable i give this episode 49 10th
49 10s okay where do we go first all right let's uh we start off in temecula at some like wine tasting
room and I must say
Gina and Tamrat having anything to say
about Shannon Bedoures
drinking issues is pretty rich
Gina had a DUI
I think
three seasons ago
and
how could somebody
was so high on Xanax
she was in another dimension
like two episodes ago
right right right so shut the fuck out
well it's a fair point but you know
when you think about it how could somebody
named Meatball not have a DUI
exactly
Impossible.
Impossible.
Tamara, we get to this portion where Tamara took Shannon away for a sneaky little drink.
And Meatball actually brings up the hypocrisy surrounding that decision only because Tamara spent
the better part of a year calling her a filthy, disgusting drunk.
And then to indulge her and what Tamara described as her love language, sucking down a quick
cocky.
It's a little bit of hypocritical.
I want to talk about love language.
Sure.
And the use of that word.
it's played out, attributing a hobby or an activity as a way to how you connect with other
people is fucking stupid. Oh, you think it's stupid? Oh, my love language is Skittles. No, no,
no, no. That's not what the fuck did you just say? My love language is Skittles. No, love language,
your love language is cookies, quality time, gifts, physical. Usually for men, it's physical, right?
If you ask a, you know, if you asked 100 men what their love language would be, I think 62 of them would just say blowjobs.
But the other ones, the ones that are more in touch, the wishing well kind of men would say things like quality time, vacations, dates, stuff like that.
I think your love language is blowjobs, but you love them.
What is your love language?
Buzz balls.
No, no, no.
No, seriously.
What is your love language?
When do you feel closest to your wife?
I'm watching TV together.
Okay, quality time.
That's what it is.
Shannon's love language is buzz balls.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Where are we?
I don't know.
All right.
So then Tamrat wants to know what she can do to win Shannon Bador back.
And it's obviously time.
No, it's stop being a horrible person.
Right, right, right.
In the evil sea, yeah.
So we get back to Crestation.
We mocked the tongue-blind constituents
and inhabitants of Beverly Hills last week.
You ever go to the sprinkles down there?
I've been to sprinkles at the Americana.
Right.
It's a cupcake with a lot of sugar and frosting.
God, I haven't eaten today.
That sounds so good.
Yeah?
Doesn't the sprinkles sound fantastic right about now?
You know, they're chuggy and they're very like kind of Kardashian-like.
But my fuck is a sprinkles cupcake delicious.
I think we've discussed this before.
I enjoy it.
All right, let's move on.
No, no, no, hold on.
We got to stick here first.
Well, we're going to stick here, but we'll stop talking about sprinkles as it has nothing to do with this show.
Okay.
So this is where H.D., Heather Dubrow, brings up her dad.
Conrad.
Conrad.
Yeah, Conrad.
And how he used to embarrass the family in public,
and he also had no empathy.
Hey, Heather Debrough,
I'm glad you can throw your dead dad under the bus for a storyline.
But it's not necessary because she was trying to compare herself to how
Camrat made her feel.
This is my thing with DeBrow.
Everything is awash in such a strong veneer that you can't buy any of it.
So when she brings up something that's,
this calculated
yeah it's either calculated or it may be true but it doesn't make any sense
because there hasn't been enough emotional context built up to it she's just a
i don't know a a fucking she's just like a like she's like i don't even know how to describe
well i'll right all right so heather de bro was like uh social media she probably hired some
company like what are they saying about me and she got the feedback the report and it said
the audience feels like you're not giving enough of yourself.
So then she hired another company.
Oh, you're talking about like Cambridge Analytica.
Yeah, and they gave her analytics.
They said, share a personal story of pain.
So we can't.
Right, right, right.
And so that's where this bullshit came from.
Yeah.
Using her dead father, Conrad, as a story like,
she could have just said, you know,
Tameret reminds me of Kelly Dodd,
another fucking white trash loudmouth bitch sewer rat and i'm triggered by it you know you know
we've been trying to uh pull the hollywood version of the housewives in their analog who's the
guy that did um i heart hookabees and silver linings play david something david o russell is okay
that's not a good tamara the david o russell of real housewives no we'll work on it but tamra uh
sucks. And it's clearly evidence when Tamara confides in her, you know, because whether this is
bullshit or not, they speak a language of bullshit and fake. So Heather confiding in Tamara that
she reminded her of her father should have landed with Tamara. It didn't. She said it, you know,
shut the fuck up or something like that. Then I think ordered a cocktail. Yeah, 100%.
So let's get to the Abbey, though. Fun spot. A lot of fun boys. It's a fun spot.
Personal story, the Abbey.
I haven't been there in 10 years.
Last time was with my wife while we were still dating.
Can you go down there?
Oh, West Hollywood, totally.
Okay.
It's just hard of Hollywood is bad.
Oh, yeah.
They found me yesterday.
I was at Paradise Cove and a driver drove up and I went back into the restaurant.
He waited for me and then he parked outside.
And he's like, how you been?
I'm like, we are having the fakest conversation right now because I fucking hate your guts.
And I know you hate me too.
Yeah.
It was scary.
They're scary.
Hit me up.
I'll DM me.
I'll share more of the stories.
I can't do it on air.
This platform is way too big.
All right.
Anyway, personal Abby story.
Ten years ago, with my wife,
we're probably like 10 years in...
I'd like to see you get a little proficient
with some kind of weaponry.
Maybe a butterfly knife.
I can do it with my hands.
Well,
these people that you've been in a decades-long feud with,
they carry machetes most often.
So you could use your hands, but, you know, we'll see.
Good luck.
Thank you.
I'm at the abbey.
We're with a group of people.
My buddy had been dating a girl named Crystal for a little while.
I knew Crystal.
Anyway, I'm sitting on the chair.
Everyone's partying.
My wife's having fun.
We're all drinking.
The girl, Crystal goes, do you want a back massage?
I was stupid.
You know, I was young and good looking.
And I said, yeah, sure, go ahead.
She starts giving me a back massage while I'm sitting on the chair.
She's behind me, right?
uh my wife sees this she uh now she's my girlfriend at the time to be fair to your girlfriend uh at the time
uh that's that's insane it's wildly inappropriate it's wildly inappropriate i did not know that
at the time unless i've come you're like very good friends we weren't very good we probably hung out like
three times that's not okay we get back to our shitty apartment uh the group walks in the girl crystals last
one walk through the door my wife slams the fucking door in her face yeah and really i was to blame for
it she should have not let me in my own apartment right that's uh the last time i went to the abbey yeah
no the abbey's a fun spot i mean great food um and not good looking strippers though
oh these ones were good looking what are you talking about are you kidding me one of them look
like uh he should work at staples and he'd be like the least good looking person at staples
That's one of the meanest things I've ever heard.
You know what I mean?
He was like the nerdy one.
My God.
Because Staples employees are, I mean, I think it's a prerequisite that you have to be on fentanyl to work there.
So there's a sunken look to all of them already.
Staples.
I haven't been to a Staples in a while.
I like when they go out, you know, all those buttons.
We do all the work now as patrons of a business.
You know, it's never more.
and there. I'm like, why are you even standing here? It should just be like a self-fucking
checkout. Hey, I can't find a college ruled notepads and they just look at you and don't say
anything. You're like, whoa, what's going on? And then they start drooling and you're like,
yeah, I'm going to get out of you. I don't feel comfortable. I ask like where I could buy a computer.
I think the guy told me to fuck off. Yeah. Yeah. They're pretty rude. So pretty crazy stuff.
So we cut back to the banana's strip party that they had in the past,
and we discussed ear banging.
Do you have any thoughts on ear banging?
I'd be really upset if my wife was on television being filmed doing this.
Ear banging?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know how I'd feel about it either.
I'd be like, you know, I mean, you're banging.
You know, that's pretty intense.
Did I ever tell you the time I went to a swinger party?
I believe so.
I did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was, the way it worked is you had to come with a girl, if you were a dude,
and you had to pay 50 bucks a person.
So it was, I mean, it's like 25 years ago.
Yeah.
And we go in there, it's what you think.
It's a bunch of people that aren't that attractive.
And there were only one couple that kept banging in front of all of us standing up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, from behind.
Yeah.
And these two, they were going at it everywhere.
Yeah, can I tell you something?
I actually would not be okay with the earband.
I'm okay if my wife goes to a strip club or, um, what's that?
show called Magic Mike, which I never heard the end of how amazing it was.
The first one, Steven Soderberg.
No, no, no, the live show in Las Vegas.
Ah, yes, yes.
But the earbang is, that's a move that is a little too sneaky from the male stripper
side.
Because if we turn that 45 degrees, we've got a serious problem.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
And I know what you're doing.
I know what you're doing, right?
So don't do that dancing bear.
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't watch porn anymore.
Yeah.
But when I did, there was a phenomenon known as.
the dancing beer.
Yeah, dancing beer is a fun time if you're trying to pleasure yourself.
It's an inefficient time because we've got to roll through a lot of people.
And, you know, it's like a compilation.
Maybe not everybody's for you, you know.
So you better have some time to kill if you're going that route.
But what we're doing right now is being gross and disgusting.
Kaelin, you got to give us a hand or something.
Man, oh man, what a crazy time it is.
Sometimes you just can't get to bed.
sometimes you can't relax sometimes you don't have the performance you need at any given time of the day
and you know what'll help with that loomy loomy um imagine if edible's just made you feel good
yeah and not like zonked out of your mind yeah i don't like being too high it makes me anxious yeah
who does like that you know your body is firing off um you know electrical impulses and chemical
impulses going this is not good we're not in control of this no no but that's the exact opposite
of what loomies off yep consistent mellow and super delicious let me goomies that
And Loomy Gummies can help with your dyslexia, too, I think.
Yeah, in your speech patterns.
They're specifically designed to make you feel good, not stoned,
whether you're looking for an end-of-day de-stress or a midday mood boost
or help getting the best sleep ever.
Lumi Gummy says a strain, that is right for you.
Oh, yes.
I took the strawberry gummy, and my God, man, I was wired.
I just watched all of the Ozzy Osbourne concert.
literally it was like 14 hours
I could not get to bed
I took one of those gummies
I was sleeping at the last song
I think he was playing paranoid
Yeah can I tell you something
I took a looming gummy last night
To get to bed because I was a little wired
And it put me right out
But my daughter screams from the other room
At 1.15 and 3.30 in the morning
I was right awake
So you're not like completely out
It's just a nice buzz
Loomie gummies are available nationwide
Go to Lummigmies.com
That's LUMMIgummygumies.com
And use code bad TV
for 30% off your order again, that's
L-U-M-I-D-W-W.
Again, that's L-U-M-I-Gummies.com,
code bad TV, loomigmys.com, code bad TV.
And once you're nice and mellow and hungry,
you can have a perfectly balanced meal from Factor.
Factor.
So I got the low-calorie package.
Seven meals, four smoothies.
I've eaten one every day.
there's nothing like eating like clean, fresh food that's prepared for you.
Delicious.
I had this garlic chicken with ros-I-I guess it's-rosana.
No, no, no.
It was risotto vegetables and then like a little asparagus.
Yeah.
I love asparagus.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The factory is introducing Patrick to new vegetables that he would have never tried otherwise.
Their chef-prepped, dietitian-approved meals make it easy to stay on track and enjoy something comforting and delicious no matter how hectic.
this fall season is going to get.
We've talked about it before.
Don't postmate or dooredash things that are super expensive.
If you don't have time to work on your meal prep,
Factor is the best solution.
Eat smart at factormeals.com slash bad TV 50 off
and use code bad TV 50 off to get 50% off your first blocks.
Plus, you get that 50% off your first blocks,
but you'll also get free breakfast for a year.
That's code bad T1.
TV 50 off at Factor.
Whoa is right.
I love Brass.
I know.
I know.
That deal right there just turned you into E.T.
Oh.
That's code bad TV 50 off at FactorMills.com.
It's delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor.
Offer only valid for new Factor customers.
Okay.
So Emily really rips it up.
She gets dry banged by a gay man.
She FaceTime's her family in the car.
And at this point, Gretchen's pretty fucked up.
She says, if we go to a karaoke bar, do you think they'll play one of my songs, which is, which is like, well, she's wondering if at that karaoke bar, will they have a song queued up from a demo session 13 years earlier?
No.
No, they won't.
No one's ever heard.
No.
They'll have journey, but they won't have you.
No, no, no.
That's an insane thing to say.
They may even have Steely Dan, but they certainly will not have you.
Asia would be the worst karaoke song.
Now, back to Emily calling our kids.
It reminds her, and she shares this with us as an audience,
that she calling her kids reminds her she hates her life and Shane and the kid that
won't eat French fries.
And can we lose that stuff?
story.
No.
For the love of God.
It's, it's, it's, uh, I empathize with Emily.
We've talked about it.
It's a rough storyline.
It's a difficult one to land.
Um, it's a little bit like, uh, Sully Sullenberger.
Uh, anyways, you know, I was thinking to be a funny bit, uh, karaoke bar that has like
every song, you know, and so somebody gets up there, they do like a Mars Valta song,
karaoke.
There are certain songs that should not be available to karaoke.
Dylan, I was on the karaoke circus.
It was a really sad part of my life.
I was surrounded by people I shouldn't have been hanging out with.
So we would go to karaoke bars twice.
It was all the rage in the late aughts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And people would bring in their own songs.
I'm not joking.
Yeah.
Got really sad.
We used to go to a place called, I forgot the fucking name of it.
Is it in Korea town?
No, that's the brass monkey.
No.
Well, I got to say when I see people doing karaoke and we got to keep kids,
You've got to give us a hand.
But when we, when I see people doing karaoke, be it on television or in the flesh,
I used to envy them and want to be free enough to do it.
Now I just go, you're different.
I'm not getting up there.
There's no circumstance wherein I would really be able to not make it embarrassing for myself and everybody.
You have grown so much as a human being.
Thank you.
Because I'd like, you said they were, they're different than you.
back in the day you would have sub that word out for a loser right now i don't think they're losers
okay they're just different all right where are we oh yeah yeah uh so uh i want to apologize to everybody
about their show um but they're bearing the lead because uh gretchen asserts that tam rat
banged a singer while she was married back in 2012 and i want to say to gretchen
bravo for holding a piece of that gold information for 13 years yeah yeah or not just something
stupid you said yeah who who what you imagine if it was frankie valley and he's just like
lipsing it anyway sorry um okay all right i i really am confused like who could this have
possibly been so we get back to temecula Shannon is sleeping um it's nighttime but it's not yet time to
sleep and Shannon is sleeping. Heather has evidently she has some very strong pot.
One thing to say about Shannon Bador is she should have, she should have like not done this
season. She should have, I think she should have just sat this one out because she's really phoning
at it. She has low tea. She doesn't, she doesn't have anywhere near the energy to be on this show.
No, I don't even think they should pay her. I kind of agree with you, man. I got to be honest.
she's essentially a staples employee but main cast
it's nuts
phony in it yeah all right so the marijuana thing with hd
this one stuck out to me because i'd have to ask hether de brough
what happened with that fucking champagne line you had
you never bring that up is it hether's own brand of weed
Dylan we know how the fucking white labeling bullshit goes like
oh this is my new company and it's you slap your fucking name on
Maybe it is Debrough pot.
I don't know.
I have a hard time believing that just because she's not.
So not that.
I think it's probably like we went to a marijuana dispensary in Beverly Hills and they
charge 15 times more than anyone else.
So they think that it's good.
The pageantry surrounding the marijuana is a little annoying.
They kept referring to it as Heather DeBrow's like weed line, I think.
Well, anyways, Meatball is very proud of Tamara for her growth.
and we keep talking about Tamara's lust for personal growth and change.
And Jen finally jumps in and is all of us.
She's a 57-year-old evil C.
There's no change that's going to come to Tamara.
No.
She's just disgusting.
Jen is my favorite person across the board as far as a cast member.
Me too.
I found this out like last year.
I'm like, she has this nice balance between being.
legitimately like believing in people and she's not she's not strategizing at all she's just here
calling balls and strikes that's the way that housewives should be you know yes although you do need
some villains you need some horrible people right but but the villains come in the casting right
and we can't have villains villains villains burn out when you look at new york which i'll always
references the the peak of this show there are no villains right right every
is amorphously floating back and forth between good and bad and there's no cookery like
Ramona she'll bring stuff up but but it's really in her character and who she is she's a nutbag right
same with Sonia and then Dorinda don't forget me don't forget Loua I'll kill you I'll kill you
so when you have somebody like Tamara who is gum shoeing dirt on people all that it's just not
it betrays the spirit of the show they got to
fix this shit. They got to fix this shit. All right. Back to the hotel, pillow fight. How fun. Now let's get to
Tamrad. Can I really quickly, though, we go in, we eat pizza and stuff and we pillow fight.
What is this butler for? Status. What could this man have possibly done? Well, I'm Heather
a bro right now. Dylan, I'm fucking awesome. Look at how amazing my life is. Yeah. I got,
I had time to call my personal assistant, who I'm paying to have time for, to put monogram
names on every napkin fucking plate.
What a cushy gig, that PA for Heather DeBrow.
And I guarantee you that person's stressed out.
I think so.
Yeah.
We get to this Tamara having sex with a singer stuff.
And we arrive at the biggest bitch on the show.
Slade.
Slade.
Oh, we call him.
All right, this was ridiculous.
So Gretchen finally finds her phone.
By the way, Emily, don't call her Gretcher.
Yeah, it just, no, I hated that.
That, like, got to me.
I hated that nickname, Gretcher.
Come on, Gretcher.
Gretcher finds her phone, calls Slade.
She wants him to send her that song.
He clearly doesn't have it.
But he had, had heard that she was in a recording studio and had sex and got caught on audio.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's called this zero story.
Slade is the biggest bitch on this show.
Say it again.
he is quite a sad man.
They ask him in a talking head about Tamara
and he says that he doesn't want to gossip about Tamara.
He just wants to get to the truth.
So I think the difference between Slade and John Jansen is just evil.
Like I think Slade is just a gossipy little bitch.
I think that John Jansen is a bad human being.
Johnny Jansen is a horrible human
being. Slade's just an idiot. Slade's a loser.
Right. He's living his current life
like it's 2012. I bet if you run into them,
he will mention things like
he's existing in 2012.
Forgive me if I'm mischaracterizing Slade
for true, true fans.
But I think that you'll go along with us
when we say that although they're fine margins,
John Jansen's probably a worse person than Slade.
I don't know, get in the comments, let us know.
So anyways, moving on.
Oh, okay.
Meatball is California sober.
I love how we create names to justify, like, not really doing the work.
Yeah, well, I don't know.
I mean, a lot of people can be California sober.
A lot of people can't.
A lot of people can have alcohol problems and, you know, have a drink every once in a while.
Right.
Some people cannot.
But that's when she tells Shannon Bador, right?
right she's worried about her yeah and then if she keeps drinking at this level she might die soon
right that's archie he said please get her wasted that's the only time she's quiet yeah well
um but she's wasted a lot no we kid um but but gina does kind of come out of the uh the top rope and go
hey i just want to tell you you know you have the energy of a staples employee i'm worried that
you're going to have a heart attack and it's it's like whoa what's going on the what a
fun trip this was. What a fun trip to be reminded. What a fun hang in Temecula. I mean, this was
bad. The only thing I love from this, and I forgot to mention it last week when we were doing
the sidecar driving and Shannon snotted in Jen's face, that it reminded me of one of the early
Food Network cooking shows, Two Fat Ladies. Have you seen that? One of them died a week after the show
started. Really? Are they from England? Yeah. Well, yeah, I think they're British. One of
died a week after they started the show.
That's so crazy.
Morbid obesity.
Well, yeah, it's a killer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When you're that big.
Thank God there weren't little children standing there when she fell.
50 dead in Nepal, right?
But I loved that show so much.
And they had, you know, there are people that are just perfect for on camera that Julia
Child.
These women were superstars.
And it's very sad that one of them was so fat that she died.
A week after she got her.
That's, that's bad.
It's true, too.
All right.
Where are we?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Next morning.
Next morning.
Next morning.
Next morning.
Call cauliflower and rice biscuits are being prepared.
I'm going to say something.
I already made a fat joke or something.
So forgive me for this.
Every person that, like, speaks the, the superfood of cauliflower, you know?
Like, oh, I make cauliflower pizzas.
You're going to say they're fat.
They are.
Universally.
Yeah.
So just eat flour.
It's fine.
Just don't eat so much.
Pretty brutal stuff, yeah.
You know, cauliflower does seem like a bit of a workaround.
It's a workaround.
For people who are trying to better themselves.
Okay.
So, you know, I think cauliflower is great for people.
If you're hankering for a pizza and you need to go cauliflower crust, that's fine.
But, you know, Pat is correct.
You're probably fat.
Yeah, yeah.
Here's, back in the day, there was a brand called Snackwells.
And their whole thing was, you like desserts.
Yeah, I like desserts.
Everything is fat-free.
So you'd get a gigantic package of fucking chocolate brownies.
Yeah, devil's food cake.
Yeah.
Zero fat.
Yeah.
The only problem is I did eat the entire box in one sitting.
Right, right, right.
And this is coming from, I'm currently fat.
And you're a former fatty.
So there we go.
There we go.
All right.
So Tamara keeps trying to talk to Shannon while she makes these cauliflower things.
And Shannon's not having it.
She is going clinically insane.
It should not be on the show.
We make fluffy pancakes and we talk about Meatball and Travis getting married.
I feel really bad for Meatball because Travis was hitched to, I believe, some kind of Blair Witch.
Two sides every story.
Well, two sides of every story.
But if there's one thing.
we know about kind of evil forest witches is they're they're very difficult to do arbitration
with successfully because they're just so like they don't want it to end they're like i have a necklace
of eyeballs to hang right now i i can't sit in a deposition for five hours yeah let's push this off
till uh 2029 well they always speak in moon cycles too and it's like oh i don't know
Give me a Google calendar invite.
Now, Dill, I do want to go back for a second because you gloss over this.
At the Hotel DeBro, we have a full staff there this morning.
It's not just Zach the butler.
But there's no coffee, but that doesn't matter because Heather Debrough is filthy, fucking rich.
This condo's awesome.
Her life is awesome.
Even the bacon is awesome.
And what's going to make this moment even awesomer is when Terry Debrough, Frankenstein himself
fucking shows up in like 10 minutes.
Yeah. Mary Shelley's monster does arrive. But first, I want to say,
this chef is one of the biggest assholes I've seen. He's a fucking prick. He's a fucking prick.
I mean, this guy is, listen, I understand that there's artistry, but you're a monkey. Okay. So if I want
over hard eggs, go in there and dance for me. That's what I'm paying you to do. I don't need
your opinions. What kind of personal chef in Beverly Hills has an
attitude with bad orders that's the entirety of beverly hills it's a well-done steak kind of place so
so she wants her eggs well-cooked go in there and do it don't give them fucking sass you know
they're the real housewives of orange county you bitch sorry that really true no no no no me too i
think it uh he was just paid for the day by the de bros and he fucking hates her yeah yeah yeah
well that's fine you take your money now this is when uh the questioning of uh
Favorite part of the episode.
Oh, this is great.
Yeah.
This is like the best of the housewives.
My wife, because I used to have a bad habit, I'd be at like some stranger's house.
I'd be like, how much you pay for this house?
My wife would instantly throw her elbow into my ribs.
Right, because it's uncouth.
But, but forgive me.
We need to do this with Ryan and Jen a little bit more often just because of how fun it is.
Ryan, what are you doing for a living now?
Yeah, right.
so do you guys who who pays for what how do what's what are the Venmo transactions like right um but
we get into Gretchen's financial relationship with Slade and the reason that Gretchen didn't want
to link up in a legal manner with Slade was because he owed back taxes to the tune of millions
of dollars or something like that now Heather Debrough or Emily goes now I know that's taken care of
but like are you guys going to get married?
And Gretchen says in so many words,
it is not taken care of.
We are still on a 38% interest plan
and we'll be on that for five years.
Yeah, and she adds,
because if they get divorced,
it's hard to divvy up zero assets.
Right.
A very common problem on the housewife's franchise.
Yes, famously with Doreton, Piquet, who owned nothing.
The issue with this is they've been together,
for 16 years.
But also, let's not judge, it works for them.
Gretchen is a gossipy little canary, and so is Slade, right?
So they're perfect for one another.
I wish them all the luck in the world.
Now, Crooked Cock, do you, were you watching the show when he...
Broke his dick?
No, no, no.
When he gave Gretchen, I think it was their last season, Bentley.
And then she learned that he had paid for it
her money oh really mm-hmm god i would be so mad yeah now later gretchen because i can't afford a bentley
so if my wife got me a bentley and she did it with my money i would be like well well that's impossible
though and if she was like no it's yours i would say we have to bring it back she did yeah yeah um
later now this is the juiciest part of the episode like i want to hear who uh tamrat slept with that big time
producer that we should all know right yeah but gretchen has some uh memory loss some some some memory
issues from the slumber party the night before uh-huh yeah but uh she hopes
what she said to emily and hether de brough won't get mentioned on the show this season
yeah ozzie getting back together with black seven is uh is more likely you know it was the
wildest thing we walked in there and i just started choking the shit out of my wife and i was
trying to kill her.
It was...
Ozzie, hold on.
It was absolutely inappropriate.
You walked in and you said,
you're going to die.
And I said,
Ozzie, who are you talking to?
You said, we have decided
you're going to die tonight, bitch.
And he choked me, the motherfucker.
And then she's like,
what we got past.
And even the therapist
doesn't know what to do.
The therapist is like,
well,
I applaud you?
that's one of those things where it's a rubicon crossing uh you tried to kill me so i think
we're getting a divorce um all right we get to massages emily said oh god damn it i ate too much
emily has um emily has worm gummy worms falling out of her purse which i have no problem
with uh consumption what i have a problem with is just how disgusting that is i mean loose gummy worms
at the bottom of the bag my god she also steals eggs if you remember uh let's get back to temecula though
we talk about Shannon leaving Archie, and she's left Archie for one night and two days.
And I really hope she at least got a sitter or something.
That's not the problem here, Dale.
No, it is the problem.
When all the wives are discussing what is there for you when you go back home?
Shannon says, when I get back home, I'm going to hang out with Archie.
what the fuck that was archie he heard that oh really yeah he doesn't want her to come home
he's over it but she is going to come home so the next best thing to do is to despite the
lack of opposable thumbs find a gun and kill yourself um i think shannon's doing fine with archie
I think that plenty of people can live solitary existences, and they're fine.
They like that.
You know, Shannon has been there and done that.
She doesn't want to shack up with some, you know, stinky guy who's going to throw his feet up on the couch.
And, you know, she's going to invade her space.
I think that, you know, she may be doing okay.
Clearly, she's not.
But who knows, right?
Archie may be all she needs.
Well, she attributes it to growing up in chaos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then, you know, that bad marriage she had with David.
And then, of course, don't forget Johnny Jay.
Yeah, Johnny Jay.
But we get into, you know, what her childhood was like and that her parents were divorced.
Wasn't your dad a drunk, too?
My dad, it runs in the family.
Oh, you're talking to me?
Oh, no, no, no.
I was talking about Tamrat said that to Shannon.
Butor.
You know, I...
Shannon claims to have been in therapy for eight hours a day.
we don't know how long that stretch was, but clearly it didn't take because she has a
emotionally irregular response to Tamara talking about her father having an alcohol problem.
And while Tamara is a disgusting human being, I don't think that Tamara was trying to out
her or insult her. I think Shannon just lost it. Well, Tamrat, though, was attempting to bring
it back to her drinking. And by saying that a parent had a drinking problem,
is connecting it to your problem.
I hate Tamara, but I really don't think she was trying to do that.
I think she was just talking about her childhood.
Yeah.
I mean, I know your job on this show is to talk to other people on the show,
but Tamara is like trying to connect through that is inappropriate.
Okay, yeah, I understand.
That's my patty steak.
But I agree with you.
I think Jen really put too much on that that she,
attempting to do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, so Jen speaks with Tamara about why it was triggering.
She's probably right.
And then Shannon walks back in and is just in a constant stasis of mess, right?
So she says, you know, something indecipherable and then says my therapist told me not to come.
And meatball hits the floor.
And I completely agree with you.
Shannon Bador, Shannon Storm's Bador should not be compensated for this.
season. And I think that it's, I think that it's time. I think that Shannon needs to,
to move on because she's not, it's not well. It's not, it's not, she's not well. It's not good for
the show. She, even when she did have all of her druthers, she had decided that she was just
going to get up from the table and walk away. Anytime there was confrontation, that's not a
real housewife. Now we've got her in some Queen Mary ghost era that's not good either. Like, I don't
know get in the comments let us know should we shake up the cast should shannon go does tamer need to
go i think so obviously how many tits did you give this episode how many tits did you give this episode
what are your favorite things you miss ruby do you miss ruby let us know we love you very much i'm
dylan saying goodbye pat say goodbye bye
later dudes
You know,