Another Below Deck Podcast - Where's Baby Gorgeous? | RHSLC S1 Premiere

Episode Date: September 18, 2025

Ruby, Dylan and Pat are back to break down recording, ghosts, wells, Blake, The Paper, Elizabeth Holmes and more from RHSLC.Factor Meals – Go to: factormeals.com/badtv50off enter BadTV50off  Lumi Gummies – Go to: https://lumigummies.com/ enter code BadTV PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork  YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod  INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/?hl=en

You know, Ruby, I think, I think Whitney put it more eloquently. She said about Jared's gym membership. She said he's not working on his lats. He's working on splats. Yeah. You're talking about shooting a frothy jizz on the table. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, she was.

Yeah, mm, yeah. Splat your heart out, Jare. Splat your heart out, Jare. Go get him, King. Down in Utah, the guys and I dig a city called Solet, It's got the grueviest kids That's why we never get tired of soul Hey hello

Welcome to another I mean, God damn I'm just like I'm really sorry I'm actually Hi hello and welcome to another brand spank A new episode of Bad T Vey We are so excited

To be here Butts and seats Ready to do our business of breaking down ruby's got a fresh dc can i tell you rubbs me and cease went to um hugo's restaurant the other day for a weekend lunch uh just us to had a salad and a diet coke with lemon is there anything i mean just a clean lunch salad with a diet coke and a lemon i mean delicious holy cow i'm dylan that's pat uh deal you know my little uh treat is uh on saturday's we go to this little bakery. I get myself an ice coffee. Yeah. Ooh. And I'll pick a little something behind that

window. Sometimes it's a scone. Right. You just nibble on the thing. Right. That's pure joy for about 20 minutes. I love a scone. Patty loves a scone. Now, the iced coffee, that is a weekend treat only. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. But a scone also called us a stale donut. Right, right, right. So you're a blue monster energy drink on the weekday, right? There's just too much to do. I'll get sick and go through withdrawals if I don't have one. No joke. No joke. I'm addicted. And Ruby is here as well. Hi, everyone. I would ask you how you're doing, but Pat, I don't love that you are addicted to monster energy drinks. So do you say that because you assume that he's not doing well? It's my one vice. Well, booze. Booze is your one vice. Two scones. And also.

Scones and also Subway sandwiches, white bread, bread scooped out, marinera, lettuce, tomato. That's right. Okay. I had it twice today for lunch and dinner. Really? Do you get a foot long and split it up? No. You double dipped.

I go to Subway twice a day. Oh, my gosh. Do you talk to them? Do you have a rapport with the Indian Americans that run the place? I actually don't like the people at my subway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're not attentive in any way. Uh-huh.

I should just be able to walk in there and just go, you know, like people know your orders and just go. Like the original Jersey Mikes. We know what we're doing here, right? And what's Jersey Mikes? It's at Sheep's Head Bay or some shit like that, Hudson Yards where was it? Something of that nature. Okay, great.

So, listen, we are not here to talk about New York. If you want to talk about New York, read Ruby's blog or go visit her. We're here to talk about Ruby's favorite. real housewives franchise might be mine too might be mine too might be everybody's it's the real housewives of salt lake city i can't tell you how good it is to see that criminal mary cosby back on my screens i pluralized that but i just met one screen but listen how about brittney i'm so excited it seems as though brittany is no longer just a friend of and she is firmly on this cast, the announcements.

I don't know that I will really ever get tired of them. You know, we're sick of Debrough talking about how the birds can't reach how high she is and boasting about her wealth. This is a trope that I can take, I think, an infinite amount of. But with all the excitement and all the good vibes, there is some bad news that we have to tell you. And for that, I'm going to throw to Patrick. Okay. This episode's for free.

okay enjoy it uh the rest of the season will behind that uh be behind that paywall called patreon dot com slash another podcast network yeah the free numbers are doing great and and we're really really happy with the direction of the podcast but we're listening for really really excited to bring the show behind a paywall so that we can actually say what we feel about these nice so now for five dollars and i don't think five dollars would buy you a rock these days in this goddamn country. Did it get you a half a sandwich with marinerosos and lettuce and tomato? Well, I went into Subway and I said, what will five bucks get me?

And the lady held up a piece of lettuce. She said lettuce. Yeah. And you went, what about Sunchips? She said no. She said no. And then I said, well, can you wrap that up in that fancy subway paper? She said no.

And I had to hold out my hand. And she put the lettuce on my hand. Yeah. It was really sad. Yeah. they are not really very attentive or they sound cruel i asked i said can you add a tomato they said no that'll be an extra five dollars so anyway five dollars we'll get you our coverage of traders australia season one another podcast show where we just uh gab and whatever it's the two two

gay dads that's right and uh also uh salt lake city recaps so that's three shows a week for five dollars if i'm doing the math deal uh that's three times that's more than a tomato i'd definitely I'm gasping for air I'm sorry I choked on my Diet Coke when you said two gay dads podcast I also thought that Pat's bad news was going to be the baby gorgeous was not in this fucking episode yeah but it was this well let's get to our oh fuck I feel like it happens snowballs is it snowballs it's important to remember that Jen Shaw was in the same prison as Gislane Maxwell and iced her out of the cool group it's very important. to remember that. And she works out with Elizabeth Holmes. That's what I was going to say, though. One drop. One drop will save the planet. One drop of blood. And I believe that Coach Shaw actually just visited her in prison and we've got some really

cute picks out of it. So they're doing great. And is Coach Shaw still working his tail off? I would imagine he has to, Dylan. Well, she's got a year left in her sentence. So she'll be back on the Real House Wives of Salt Lake season in 2028. Really? I believe so. Oh, that's exciting. I'm excited to see her.

So let's get into her snowballs. Patrick, what did you think about my idea of letting Ruby go first with her snowballs? Sure, sure. The entire time this episode was playing, I had a little band in my head and it was playing, the girls are back in town because I was so jazzed the entire time. I thought this was a great foundation for a season full of ridiculous shit. Sure. Brittany continues to be,

Britney and Mary continue to be on opposite ends of the spectrum of just unbelievable TV and incredible to watch, impossible to explain. Okay. I thought you're going to say mental illness, but. Both, obviously, I'll put them on both of those spectrums. I think I hate Bronwyn, I think. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I, Meredith is on less pills this season. She seems more even now, but still having fun.

Not happy about that. Not happy about that. I want her to have a good time. Me too. She'll, she needs to drink a little more. Once we get a little more Alkinner, I think we'll be, we'll be back to old slurs. And I was just really happy to see everyone on our screen, honest, our screens, excuse me,

91 snowballs. Can I go next, please? Because I'd like to give my snowballs on Ruby snowballs. Because I think Ruby did a great job. say 100 snowballs on her ranking because what she did was she spoke diplomatically about this being a bad episode what she did she treated her snowballs as like a review like a jj abram's friend reviewing the first star wars he put out well it's a really good foundation for some kooky stuff moving forward with that being said where is baby gorgeous right where is baby gorgeous

Working, Dylan. And this ghost. Rub and elbows with Johnny Cochranj? I don't know. Yeah, probably. Yeah. What is this ghostly woman from Provost? We'll get into the whole spooky story.

Oh, Molly Hatchett. I kid. I thought it was a fun episode for Pots. Okay. I am so happy that Brittany has been made a full cast member. She's incredible. She deserves it. She's one of the dumbest people I've ever seen.

She is the Corey Feldman of the Real Housewives. Oh, okay. She really is. She's just really nuts, a liar, shittsterer, provocateur, anything for attention. Who gets up and makes a speech about an engagement? And then, you know what I mean? I love the verticals, her and that man filmed. See this woman?

This woman, I've never loved anything. anything like this woman? No, well, you love the woman that you were talking into in a urinal right before you filmed this more than her. So, I mean, that guy's a bad guy. Hey, fun game, though. You said that she's like

the Corey Feldman of the Real Housewives. What would Meatball be? Gina? Yeah. What's a good analog for her? Meatball, meatball. I would say Kelly. She's like the reverse Amanda Bines.

like she got she started bad oh okay i would say kelly dodd is like the melk gibson of the real housewives this is i this is fun yeah i'm having a lot of fun i'll spend more time you know i'm not good at improv you know yeah all right let's get into it okay so i'm going to give because this episode was amazing i mean people are accusing each other of jerking people off for money i mean britney looks Sean does circle jerks. Shonda circle jerks. Be careful. I'm going to ding in a couple snowballs

because a lot of the storyline was asking where Lisa Barlow. Right. Like Lisa Barlow should have been here. Apparently rubbing elbows with... No, I'm not going. I'm not going. Yeah, what was that?

We'll get to the Ben Affleck and the Blake lively of it all. But Ruby, you have thoughts? take it easy okay we're going to be fine we love Dorito queen too okay Jesus Christ I'm gonna give it 62 snowballs Ruby what is with Meredith Mark's DJ career I saw her in time square um it for me it it it looked ridiculous are you not inspired by the set no not at all it was kind of sad oh okay yeah yeah I understand because she thought she was doing Yeah. And I think that that is really what matters here. I think women enter this phase of their lives. They have disposable income. They waste it on these fake careers where they get a few more Instagram DM saying like you killed it, girl. I loved it so much. And in three years, she will have wasted probably close to a million dollars and have gained nothing and will still be on pills. Yeah. Well, I'm really excited to talk about the lessons we can learn from failure, especially with weddings. who does have red Daphne hair, but we'll get to it.

I'm into it, by the way. Oh. I like the new, uh, the new Whitney. Okay. What you? What? You call it, the kids call it a glow up? No.

Well, she just dyed her hair orange. Oh. What did you think? I'm not even into white chicks. I'm trying to give her some praise here. I like the new, uh, look. No, that's fine. Rough start

Does she have a sizable enough hunker for you? No I didn't think so I mean nowhere near a sizable enough hunker for you Last we left off I think she's gotten it done Wetney No

Yeah Where are the okay here are my notes These are where my notes are I want to ask Ruby a question Is there always a bizarre beginning to a season like this with this monologue about true friendship and then it they've done it the past like two or three seasons i remember that it's like this is the only this must be like a producer thing or they're trying to make this their own thing we are transported to the sequel to

blarewitch project and then at some point heather gay is wearing a powdered wig crazy stuff yeah mary cosby says why are we here if we're not friends mary cosby you've defrauded thousands of people you belong in prison Okay. Don't fortune cookie question me. Okay. She looks fantastic, too. Well, it's because of all the money she siphoned away from everybody. All right. So we kick things off with Angie pulling up in a Winnebago. Fun fact, I saw the other day.

Guess how much it cost to fill up the gas tank of a Winnebago? I can tell you. How much? It's probably about 300 bucks. Nope. Not with these gas prices. a thousand dollars no a thousand dollars ruby they get you get this every five miles they use a gallon of gas five miles it's crazy why would you buy one of these things it's so think about a cross-country road trip it costs three thousand dollars just in gas

that's the secret cost they don't tell you about oh my goodness gracious i mean these winnebagoes have a good time but my god too too rich for my blood so um we pick mary cosby up and mary cosby says why are you dressed like we're going to the office mary cosby it is good to see you again normally she eases into the crazy but not in this episode she also said that uh the rv because she's experienced them as a child it's a place where you can read people's minds Uh-huh. And Ruby, what do you think about Mary Cosby generally? Insane, criminal, great for my TV. Screens. So we meet Teague, who is obviously the one driving the car. I think Teague is a valet parker who

um, Ferris Buellered his way on to this Winnebago because he does not look like he is. My Winnebago driver, I want to be a withered elderly man or he yeah I want to I want him to be a withered elderly man and he'll tell you stories about how he was the tour bus driver for poison open up and say ah tour right because you know you know he's dealt with a lot of bullshit oh yeah he's kept the wheels on the road while people were getting sexually assaulted behind him you know that that's a lot of focus you have to have so yeah I was a little this person's a little too young also this trip was called the class a trip yeah you need a class a license to drive sure andy it's very very funny so um since new york there have been fractures um and ruby remind us

really quickly of some of the fractures um that took place at the reunion okay so everybody hates each other hates brittney yeah um Whitney uh Bronwyn and Angie hate Lisa, which is crazy because how could you? Fucking crazy. I don't think that Heather can stand Bronwyn at all. And yeah, that's currently where we are. Yeah, it's a fun place. Now, Brittany, does she not bring her A game?

She shows up to this goddamn thing when the bus pulls up. She's wearing a bikini under that jacket of hers. Okay. Right. Now, I have to say something. I think that she might be one of the, I mean, dumbest people I've ever seen just with my eyes, period, in my life. I will defend her on this. The invitation, she was dressed very appropriately. It looked like they were going to the beach. I don't blame her. I'm sorry, goodbye, sorry. How crazy is it that Brittany and Todd, what's his name? Jared. Jared. Jared. that Brittany and Jared actually adhered to the wishes of their children is absolutely insane to me. I'm not buying that.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they adhered to him balls deep into someone at that gym. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Relationships are tough. It's tough to be engaged to someone who's having sex with people. Oh, constantly. Yeah. And so she saw Jared just banging away at, I don't know, their housekeeper or something.

And she was like, Jared. And he was like, what? And she was like, we got engaged. And he was like, well, I know, we're not engaged if you don't want me to bang the housekeeper. Come on. Guys be guys. Come on. Guys would be guys.

All right. So Angie is going to capture all of the women and put them in this dreaded RV as a kind of stress test for their friendship. Now, the ladies all gather at the beauty lab. and everyone is Eric's Hept for Lisa Barlow. Whitney has red hair, as we mentioned, and she's also very, very good at pranks. Now, Whitney kicks... So, like, these kind of things...

I wouldn't say this is, like, a Whitney trope. I mean, Whitney being, like, really unironically corny about things is a trope, but it's too broad. Like, Brittany... or Whitney being unironically broad about things. Brittany stands up at gatherings and gives toasts. So that's like just next level.

But Whitney is just, she always does this. I don't know. I think one of the reasons why when you said Whitney how to glow up and you're into it, it's not that Whitney's not pretty. It's that Whitney is Whitney. You know what I mean? I rambled there for quite a long time, but do you know what I'm saying?

You're right. And I actually, Whitney, the problem is that Whitney is actually beautiful. But I think she kind of is like a black box theater person. Like she's, it's like the performative thing is there. But it's a little bit like welcome to improv night and I'm a senior. And you're like, oh, okay. There are only seven people here. So the prank is the SWAT shows up to the bus calling back to the time. The authorities were looking for Jen Shaw to arrest. and thrown prison next to Elizabeth Holmes and Gisland Maxwell. How long did Elizabeth Holmes go away for? Well, she's got like five more years. Okay. I think she got a 10-year sentence, and in the federal prison system, when you're sentenced to 10 years,

you almost do all of it. Oh, really? Yeah, they don't give you clemency or any of that shit. You've watched a lot of crime. Yes. Now, Elizabeth Holmes defrauded people or fraud. She defrauded people by lying to investors about the actual success of her blood box. Right, right, right.

It was going to test for 200 things. Turns out it never worked. Right. She kept lying to people that worked for her investors. And it was to the tune of like hundreds of billions of dollars. Well, here's the interesting part of the story where I think she may be redeemable. She didn't use that money to buy vacation homes or spend. bending on herself. She used it to make the box work. She tried to make the box work and it never

works. She goes, the box's not working. We need more money to make the box work, but the box doesn't work so we can't get more money. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to say the box works. We're going to get the money. Then we're going to make the box work. And the box didn't work. The box still doesn't work. She's in prison now. Yeah, she was Bernie Madoffing her way to a box that never worked. And she was going to let people use that box and fucking die because she wanted more money for her box. So again,

let's roll it out. Let's just roll it out. One drop and one. All right. She now does hammer curls. Yeah. Next to Jen. Jen shot.

Can we talk about Bronwyn in her style? Because we've seen their house that she shares with. Fatty. Teddy bear guy. Todd. Sorry, hacky joke here. But does Bronon,

I hate her fashion, by the way. she looks like she stood next to a paint store and it exploded right everything is just like it hurts she looks like what andy warhol would dress a woman as because he hates women yeah yeah um all right so we hit the road um mary hates cindy lou who's so much it's and and i just think about mary having to be around brittney it is the worst kind of person Mary Cosby could possibly be around. Mary does not like loud voices.

She doesn't like being distracted. She doesn't like her time wasted. And those are all things that Brittany does. Ruby? Mary also is the type of person that does not give a shit about social cues. So whether or not she can read them, she will not abide by the proper decorum. And she hates you, Brittany.

So when people say things like, that wasn't very nice or like, and that's it when Bronman at one point says like okay booboo you tell me when you've told the truth about everything and mary from 40 feet away it's like oh thank you jesus praise yes agreed my god no mary does mary if there's one thing we know about mary it's that she does not abide she she's a criminal yeah so um lisa is not here what is going on we find out don't we she's working she's working and she is um glad handling what is that is what is it glad she's uh rubbing elbows with some uh a listers somewhere yeah aflac and uh and and blake lively yeah yeah yes and and do we have an update on the jesson grorini and blake lively

trial jason gwar rini justin uh shh no boy did that story fall off justin chitzerro or something what's his name ruby the biggest update is that taylor swift i believe has been deposed is going to be deposed I bet she loves that. What's that guy's name? It's Justin. Justin, oh my God, wait,

Dylan, Justin Gorey is American Idol. Yeah, yeah, runner up season one. Beldoni. Justin Baldoni. Justin Baldoni.

Okay. So Lisa is rubbing elbows with Justin Baldoni and Ben Affleck and she can't be here right now. And Whitney calls bullshit because she's a do nothing be. Yeah. And her business is,

oh, and Brittany's upset because she's like, don't drag her. I think that's, It's the word that the 14-year-old say, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's dragging.

Cindy Lou Who is really pissed about the Lisa Slander. And she brings up Whitney's hot water, you know, of her own. She says, Whitney, people have been accusing you of multi-layer marketing scams on TikTok. Amway. And my favorite part of this episode was Whitney talking about the lessons we can learn from failure. And I don't know, is it right now? No, it's a little bit later, but, but it, one would bet, you know, it begs the question, can you learn anything from poorly attempting to sell people, TEMU jewelry at a 5,000 percent markup? Is there any lesson to be learned there?

don't like make don't use the ones on the first search page of olibaba go to like 13 okay I think that's a lesson one okay I think this is this is actually in relation to something different I think this is in relation to what Wild Rose beauty which went completely bankrupt and then she changed it to something called soul people S.O.L and then that didn't work so now everything is like online and it's 50% off and you can't return it and all of the employees are making videos about how she never paid them

and it was a multi-level marketing scheme and she's at rock bottom but she will climb out wow i'm i'm happy that you confirm she actually had employees because she went did that whole sad story about like she felt bad for all the the hundreds of employees that i think they were interns to be it was very sonya morgan coded i will be a ton of sonya morgan interns but while Whitney is under siege by Cindy Liu, Heather says, kind of as a means to help Whitney, she says, you cannot kick a one-legged dog. And if I was Whitney, I'd go, thanks, no thanks. I actually feel like I'm in a bit of a pincor movement right now because that actually really hurt my feelings. I believe that she's actually, she's even more confused because the

direct sentence before that sentence is you can't talk about her business like that, Britney. Would you kick a one-legged dog when it was down? Whoa, whoa, Heather, what your pinsters are back on? What do you mean? I think this is when the knives come out. I think this is when Whitney accuses Britney of sucking dick to make car payments. But before we get there, let's chill out a little bit with Loomy. All right. So let's get to the party, right? Oh yeah. So the RV shows up and it's, We arrive at Provo River Resort Campsite. Nature, no phones, and... A lot of snow zombies.

Just bonding. I saw that. A lot of run-down cars. A lot of... Not a pretty place. Yeah. There's some dangerous zombies in Los Angeles, but here they have snow zombies.

Yeah. But they're not as dangerous as L.A. zombies because they have frostbite. It hinders their ability to walk and chase you. Yeah. Dylan walked out of weapons because he's a bitch. And I was in Salt Lake City one time for a wedding and I had to move Airbnb's. And I've never done this before.

I, I messaged the person and I said, there are, there are meth people on the street getting arrested in the middle of the night. I can't walk to my car. This is absurd. I do not feel safe. He said, no problem. Here's all of your money back. And I had to find a new Airbnb for the second night of my stay because of the snow zombies. Yeah.

No, the snow zombies are really, really tough. And what does hinder their movement actually increases the strength of their skin. If you take a machete to a snow zombie, you have to crack through a layer of ice before you get to their flash. And that makes them very, very difficult to kill. So I know the show is going long, but it might excite everybody about like, you know, paying us five bucks for these great episodes. I drove by MacArthur Park today in Los Angeles, which is a lake, just a little north of downtown. Doer Blancis telling Karen Bass. Things have got to change her.

I'm shutting down my deli. It's right near Lankers. Yeah. My God. Oh, yeah. The park, which is probably four football fields with a beautiful lake, is occupied by zombies. And the kind of zombies. But not like a couple.

Like hundreds. Thousands. And they're all like, if you guys remember the movie, I am legend. Yeah. When we got to see the zombies, it was bad, uh, CGI. Yeah, totally. But they all at some point just hover around each other, and they're like, they're sleeping, standing up with their heads down. And they can smell taxpayers. Like, if you've paid your taxes and you drive past them, they're like, what the fuck? And they attack.

It was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, I know. Welcome to Los Angeles. I'm going to move to Utah. Yeah, the Olympics are going to be great. What are they going to do? Kill them all? Like, no, no, no. What are they going to do? were you going to get them off anyway when you see them uh unload the flame throwers seriously though i mean i wouldn't put it past karen bas you know we we have the olympic games coming that's why we had to light all of these people on fire and by the way if you're you know um you think we're being offensive about the unhouse go fuck yourself okay yeah all right okay all right so uh Lisa um is not with us obviously. And that's because she has many, many lawsuits. But before we get to Lisa, are we at lunchtime yet? We're at lunchtime. Okay. Cindy Lou Who, you eat what you eat. So let's

take a couple of steps back. Prisoners wouldn't eat your lunch. Okay. I'm going to take seven seats. Zombies wouldn't eat your lunch. I'll talk to you from up there. And quite honestly, if you offered a homeless person who hadn't eaten in days because they have a very sad and very tough life, if you offered them one of Pat's lunches, they would say, I will starve. They would throw it at you. They would throw it at you. They would go, what do you think I am a fucking raccoon? I'm not going to eat that.

Fun game. Not a fun game. Fun activity. I want some little patties, baddies. Get out there. Go to Subway, order a six inch white sandwich with the bread scooped out. Marinera sauce, no meatballs, lettuce, and three tomatoes, and send us a video on our Facebook group.

Okay. Or just don't do that and tell us how it is. Taste it and let me know if it's taste good. Okay. I have another question. Another fun game to play. If you're a homeless person, what is the item from Subway that somebody would give you that would make you actually get your feelings here?

Because you would be like, why the fuck did you just play a joke on me and go inside and get me a shit sandwich for rackens? I would say the entire menu of Subway. But if I was a homeless person, somebody offered me a chicken terriarchy, I would go right back to my childhood when I had a house. And I would be like, my God, that's so yummy. Okay, so nature, no phones, and bonding, and that means Cindy Lou Who will stand and say things. She says, because I'm the record girl. And let's not joke around about this.

You were a sniffling little worm that tried to record these women without their permission, which is illegal in this state. I'm not sure how you kooky Mormons do it out there, but... It's trying to rewrite history. Yeah, a little bit funnier than it actually was. By the way, I love the idea of everybody filming on a very poorly designed camcorders. The footage sucked. Yeah, the footage sucked. Because the show, their weekend is actually being filmed on a show called Real Housewives of Salt.

Yeah, and the cameras are beautiful. Yeah. Really expensive cameras. So Lisa is not there. And HG says it's kind of a big deal. Yeah, HG says it's kind of a big deal. And then HG says that she hasn't shared anything. Well, HG really is frustrating at this here picnic table.

Rube's, what are your thoughts on the, I shouldn't ask Ruby. She's not a very impartial juror here. I'll be unbiased. Heather, I think, wants Lisa to love her because it genuinely triggers her. like high school, I was never in with the cool girls. And I'm skinny now because I did Ozempic. So she's like, I want to defend Lisa and be a good friend. Also, Lisa definitely has lawsuits against her.

I'm sure she has a lot of people, a lot of money. And she will never pay them. Oh, no. I don't know how or why. Lisa Barlow is Donald Trump. I mean, they're spiritually the same exact creature. They're the same. They're what the thing.

Good try. Harry Potter. Fuck, what is the thing called? Dementor? It's a deer. No, no. Oh, no. Oh, yeah.

A, um, oh my gosh. People are going to hate us. Like, like, like, I hate us. I hate us. A patroness. Oh my God. I was going to shut my computer. Holy shit.

I'm going to watch me some Harry Potter tonight. I'm going to go on. I'm going to edit this episode. And then I'm going to throw on some Harry Potter. I mean, it's just fantastic. But, but Lisa is, it is. just she's untouchable. So I think that HG here is in a,

she's in a tough crevasse and she has no ropes. So she's really like, dare you say a 127 hour kind of crevasse? Yeah, yeah, I would. Her arm is in there and she's, I don't know. Can I tell you something? I was watching football the other day.

And I saw a commercial for, I don't know, a credit card company or something. And a, the guy from 127 hours falls in a crevice and his arm is pinned to a rock and his nub is on the other side

and he goes, oh, not again. No. No, Dylan. No joke. No joke. And the commercial scribbles

Brian, whatever, the guy from 127 hours in case you forgot. Whoa. How? I'm glad people that are very high, on drugs are back writing commercials

because they were starting to get bored. They were starting to get bored. Oh, not again. You had to clip your nerve endings off. They paid him, I hope, seven figures for that, whoever they are just really quickly. We were, Ryan and I were watching something. It was like a prime, one of the, I don't know,

it was a commercial on something. One of the major streaming services the other day. And we thought that it was part, oh, it was Hulu. We thought it was part of the, it's always sunny episode. like a commercial in it because it was that fucking absurd

and I believe it was for something like it was called like the crooked carrot or something and it was just like such an absurd commercial about erectile dysfunction and it was okay can I say something?

It was unbelievable. I got a text from my wife we're supposed to see a beautiful home on Sunday because we're looking to move and the person that owns the property doesn't want us to come by because we have a cat the floors are wood you bitch what is the problem with having a cat i i don't understand what what is the big deal it's a cat i'll tell you make the can you lie say i'll pay the extra

i'll pay a pet fee offer the pet fee yep i'll say right also because you know that dot doesn't isn't going to do anything to the wood floor but the person the person renting doesn't fucking no no right you're you're right i totally agree okay say any damage within reason We'll compensate. Oh, that's a pretty stretchy little line there. Well, talk to an attorney about that language. All right. So, Heather says that she had no idea that Lisa Barlow is wrapped up and all this stuff.

Now, I have trouble with this because it's been in newspapers. One called the Tribune, but apparently the cast members aren't fans of newspapers. No, but they are a fan of being online. and there's no way that Heather doesn't know about what is going on and she's running cover for Lisa Barlow because she's scared of Lisa Barlow because Lisa Barlow is scary. I know we've been running long.

I want to ask this very quickly. Have you guys watched the paper? No. No. Should we? I don't know yet. The trailer's not grabbing me. It's really like, it is the, they say this is the office.

I mean, Oscar is on the show and he's Oscar. And when he sees the camera, he says not again. Like, it's kind of like, I'm open to it, but it feels a little sacrilegious as well. Also, uh, that kind of shooting is a little long in the tooth at this point. Like, it's played out. Yeah. It really is. It's hard to do well.

Hard to do well. And they already did it so well. Anyway, so Angie says, um, Stevie Wonder could see. Good one. Yeah, good one, Angie. So, um, Heather is clutching her pearls. And she's like, why would, what, what would Lisa want me to do right now? Hey, hey, hey, Heather Gay.

Are you, you, you own woman or are you, you own woman? Well, she asked that question and then she zings Bronwyn about that four million dollar necklace that she never actually bought. Now, this was something that we haven't seen on the show before. Well, actually, you have seen it. Bronwyn gives an apology for being, quote, unquote, cutesy about the necklace. A lot of euphemisms from these women. And you lied and you committed a crime also.

Bronwyn didn't commit a crime. Cindy Lou Who committed a crime. But Ruby, can you remind us in the listening audience about this whole necklace fiasco? Por favor. First, I would like us to thank Lisa for revealing all of this information. I called her. I called her and I said, I have the text messages. And everyone was like, so you.

reached out to her, Lisa. You said that she reached out to you. And she's like, it doesn't matter because Bronwyn is a liar. And she's right. Bronwood pretended that she was going to get a four million dollar necklace on the show. And then we're a different version of it at the reunion. And then at the reunion, she was a friggy little bitch and tried to make coy little comments about how she bought a different one. She tried to just make the narrative that it was weird and creepy that Lisa looked into the fact that she was a liar. And it was. And well, I mean, it was. But again, it was also very weird that Bronwyn pretended to buy a $4 million necklace when she didn't actually do that. So weird. Like just the impulse to even do that

is it just speaks volumes. It does. It's been done before on the show. Some people have gotten away with it. Some people have not. I would have, if I'm Bronwyn's PR person, I would have said Bronwyn, fall on the sword, but blame people questioning your marriage to Todd. And you thought by saying that he was buying you that made it look like you guys were perfect and then as an audience will feel for you yeah i would help her lie better yeah lie better angie angie gets very mad she's like stands up and she's screaming and she's like like you know everybody i think maybe it's brown when she's like everybody always has to reveal their shit but leason never says what's wrong with her life know exactly that's why she's better at this than all you are that's the point right

Yeah. Sean did a circle jerk. Well, okay. So we pivot. Well, so there's a lot of shit talking here. So Bronwyn ponder is what's actually important in the life. I'll tell you, definitely not this show. Angie notes that Lisa has dirt on all cast members. We have pill poppers in the cast. We also have circle jerk participants. Sean did a circle jerk. That's right. Yeah. And then Meredith suggests the group tell Lisa what they think of her to her face. This is when Brittany stands up to make an announcement.

Yeah. And the announcement is Jared and I got engaged. And then two weeks later, we got unengaged. I welcome Jared and Cindy Lou to our screen. It'll get a little tiresome, and it's a really pathetic thing to lay witness. too, but I'm kind of here for it. These two kooky idiots, I think are going to be a lot of fun. You're bearing the lead here, though. What you really love about Brittany, because we don't see Jared a lot on the show. I think we'll see them more. When Brittany is in a group setting and just

stands up to make an announcement. Yeah. It's like her Kramer entering Jerry's apartment. Right, exactly. It's a motif. It's an incredible motif. It's an incredible motif. Ruby, go ahead. she first off she if you asked her what motif was she would she would laugh because she didn't understand what you said yeah um also she is one of those people that i don't think i might not get tired of because she's just so unbelievably different for me and and the the real like do you guys think that she was i believe when they were like he is going on dates at the lifetime cafe with chicken salad sandwich wraps with multiple women and he's introducing me to them she was like no really You know, Ruby, I think, I think Whitney put it more eloquently.

She said about Jared's gym membership. She said he's not working on his lats. He's working on splats. Yeah. You're talking about shooting a frothy jizz on the table. That's right. Yeah. Oh, well, she wants.

Yeah. Splat your heart out, Jare. Splat your heart out, Jare. Go get him, King. that's what she says to him right before he usually gets his pre-workout and then he says that to him as he leaves for the gym honey do you think this might have a little bit too much caffeine in it says 425 milligrams and then he hits her hits her shut up bitch okay so um fishing and kaya this was so boring can we just skip over this um emc calls dusty gusty Yeah, she does. She goes gusty, gusty, and they edit it to make it look as though it's worse. And you don't need to do that.

It's Mary Cosby thinking that a man is named Gusty. So that's all we need, right? And Meredith goes on a, you know, quasi-psychotic tirade about you can bring fish back to life by bringing them ashore and giving them CPR to, quote, unquote, some song. and then they will be alive again. That was Meredith, not Mary Cosby? Mary Cosby, sorry. That was MC.

That was MC, my bad. And when Gusty says you cannot bring fish back to life, she says flat out that is not true. She categorically says you're a fucking liar and I've done it before. Gusty is not telling the truth. What you do is give it CPR to some song and then it'll work. But we get to Molly Sorensen. Oh, I thought it was Molly Hatchet.

I probably got that name, bro. Yeah, Molly Hatchet. You're like a yellow journalist. Yeah. Let's call her Molly Hatchet. That's right. What is this story? A craze Mormon who killed a horny female teenagers and then fed them to possums.

Yeah. And now she haunts the camps. Ruby, how accurate is that? 100%. She fed them to possum. Or, uh, I think she ate them or something? Well, did she eat them with possums? Did she eat them with possums or did she feed the meat to possums?

She invited possums to her home. She ate them with possums. Um, was Freddie, was Jason's mom modeled after this woman? Oh, wow. By the way, there's a new show I saw a billboard today. It's, uh, the guy who inspired the movie, uh, chainsaw massacre. There's a real guy. Ed Gain.

yeah how'd you know that because he's real and it's horrifying oh my god the same guys that did the Jeffrey Dahmer thing and then the uh uh Lyle and Melendez thing yeah did this one I don't know if I can watch it you want to talk about me being scared scared I mean think about that there was a guy in Wisconsin I think he was in Wisconsin um just killing people and then flaying them and putting their skin around light bulbs what yeah but it's first of all he's caught right second of all think about how hard it is to do shit now with cameras i know that a lot of people do crazy shit like where you guys live like pat you're it's you don't need to be scared of that stuff what you what you could and should be scared of is if you you

know you live in a place where somebody can come to your door and you know give you a little bible and then break in the strangers just don't go alone in the woods anywhere without a firearm i saw that yeah yeah yeah no that's a scary one yeah yeah yeah I don't know if it's scary. Because he diverted people. He detoured their cars off the road, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. You're referring, what was that dumb movie called that we both hate?

What? House of Wax. House of Wax. Oh, no. It's the one with Hugh Grant. You were talking about House of Wax with Paris Hilton. Well, I like that one. But Hugh Grant, where the two Mormons show up at his house and he invites him in and

what was that stuartic. Heretic. He gets to the bottom of what religion's about. That's so stupid. Oh, boy. You're watching that movie, and I know that we've been going long, but you're watching that movie going, Well, this has got to be more than just as somebody who's cynical of religion, right?

I mean, we've done this whole thing. But no, it's just that he is cynical of religion. He, his motives to kill people are the same as a freshman at Sarah Lawrence. There is no difference. Bad movie. And it's so much upkeep. Imagine the fucking electricity that he has to pay to keep all those women frozen in those cages.

Right, right, right. Okay. So we get ready for a little grill. We get very fancy food. We get some caviar from Meredith Marks. And we get some asparagus from Cindy Lou Who, who says that asparagus is fancy food. Is she from, is Utah a food desert?

It just, Dylan, let it, maybe, they're Mormon. All right. So we get to Lisa and we get back to Whitney and Brittany. And they're feuding over a wetney's team. line falling apart once again and I would say to Ruby when I asked the question how could you possibly learn anything from this

Ruby gave the one and true answer and that's to use jewelry from the 13th page of the search results and I think wouldn't it be just the funniest thing in the world if Whitney relaunched a jewelry line having learned that

lesson and they just found the same thing but just on the 13th page. Whitney what is is this. Okay. And here's the thing. I would like to also know, and I mean Ms. Ernestly,

because I would, maybe I wanted to be an entrepreneur one day. Millions? Impossible. Impossible. I know. She's flexing even when she's trying to be vulnerable. Now,

H.G. and all the gals thank Whitney for being vulnerable about, about sharing her darkest, saddest moments and fears. And that's when Brittany leans into Whitney and says, how about that apology for the whole, dick-sucking thing yeah so she openly ridicules wetney to her face and then hot off the heels of that obliteration goes over and gives her a hug because she is a literal fucking alien this was a

this was a sexual assault gathering sonia romona derinda bridey situation she just could not have every she was like you're a dumb revolting bitch and wetney was like i'm literally trying to hill and she goes i'm so sorry wetney that's terrible it just she's incredible she is trying to hell right now and if if wetney made millions of dollars off of that jewelry line i i can patrick don't laugh i can handle people paying hundreds and thousands of dollars in droves to see taylor swift sometimes multiple times at a weekend that is It's not my cup of tea. I can live with that.

If Wetney made millions of dollars off of her Timo jewelry line, it's too grave a marker of the apocalypse for me to handle. Yep. I agree. Fuck. All right. Here's the thing, Dylan. It's not actually, it did.

So it didn't happen. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So, um, if she made $30,000, the entire timeline of that business, I'd be shocked. shocked shocked again okay so i'm sorry that you know this reminds me of linette scabbo and

tom in desperate housewives when he says you were a very successful marketing executive and i used to work in sales i am going to open a pizza shop with our five kids and she says okay let's let you have a turn fucking no carl with soft bar these are not good ideas right how about amanda with her fashion line that was filmed a soft launch a year and a half ago yeah It's still not open. The website says, uh, sign up for our email list. Yeah. These are things that aren't happening.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes, Patrick. Yes. And what about the sandwich about her? Is that place still open? That's brick and mortar. That's hard to lie about.

Okay. Penny is suing them for 86% of the revenue every year. But yes. I came up with Trader Joe's Pesto for that sandwich, you bitch. What could she possibly be suing? about. Patrick. That. Penny needs to find love. All right. So Whitney is speaking about the lessons. Brittany goes to hug her. And then we learn or are reminded that Whitney and or that Britney and Meredith are not doing well. Because as you'll remember, you can leave. And we end things with just, we're on a frosty note. Where are these ladies going to go?

Blair Witch Project, the sequel. We will find out next week at Patreon.com. slash another podcast network get in the comments let us know what you thought about the episode and let us know i mean are you let us know are you ready are you ready yeah fuck yeah okay well uh that's it for us we'll see you uh we'll see you later i'm dylan saying goodbye pat say goodbye later down ruby by bye down you taught the guys and i dig a city called solace It's got the grueviest kids That's why we never get tired of solace And the way the kids talk so cool

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