Another Below Deck Podcast - White Sweet Mash | Below Deck S11 E7

Episode Date: March 19, 2024

Dylan and Pat are back to break down an uncle's love, sacrificial lambs, boat stuff sandwiches, Cat and Jared's departures and more from Bravo's Below Deck. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast

As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST line all-wheel drive with tech pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment.

That's just $2.67 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus eligible Ford owners get a thousand dollar bonus. For details visit your local Ford store or ford.ca. Ford owners get a thousand dollar bonus. For details visit your local Ford store or for Ford.ca So yeah, yeah chef Anthony, you know, I love chef Anthony. His mom called to check in on him, you know, and She has some bad news for him. Yeah, what's that? Well his uncle invented it. Oh, I remember this part where she said all this stuff. Yeah, she did. She goes I got some bad news for your son He's like, oh what he says your uncle invented a time machine. He's already having sex with your future wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, fuck!

Yeah, he's like, gosh, he's so smart. Yeah. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm selling up next to one Patrick Hickey permission to come aboard granted talk. Okay. Hey, my mic. I just got up. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Oh, happy to be here What are you doing? Raising the mic there. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm just trying to get these mics. There we go. Oh, wow Hey, what is going on everybody? Mm-hmm. Holy cannoli. It's so good to be here Pat talk. Okay episode 7. Oh Should I do some housekeeping? I want to attack you, you barnacles out there that came for old Patty because of my pronunciation of the beautiful state, uh, Illinois. Oh no.

Is am I being what are you being? What? Well, I just, they made fun of me and attacked me online. It's, it's spelled. I, I was a victim of a bullying campaign. Part took you were part of it by our own fans. Okay. Illinois. There is an S at the end of it. I'm from Massachusetts.

Forgive me. Okay. I'm a filthy yucky normie, right? Where I come from. And you know what? I don't want to hear from you Massachusetts people either. Yeah, yeah. I've, for my entire life, I've pronounced it Illinois's because there's an S at the end. Yeah. When did we all decide that it was going to be Illinois? Some time ago. And, uh... What was the committee that decided that? Um, you know, I don't know that there was a committee, but it just shows the power of the collective. You know, human beings can gather around and we can really,

really enact change in these kind of or on these kind of linguistic battlefields. I mean, do you say salmon? I thought that was a fair point. No, I call it salmon. Yeah. And Patrick, I don't have the records of the congressional hearing to remove the L from the fish, but I know at some point it did happen and it is really dumb of you to pronounce the S. And let me say this to you and to all the people that took the time to write that I'm an idiot. Yeah. You're all the people that took the time to write that I'm an idiot. You're all horrible people. And if you want to be all horrible up in them guts with us, go to our Facebook group, which

is where the bullying campaign was unleashed on poor Patrick. Tonight we have an episode and it's episode seven. But before we get into that more public service announcements. Love is Blind is wrapping up at patreon.com slash another podcast network another podcast shows coming to bed TV and I am just if you need more below deck in your life yeah we have season two of below deck med behind a paywall we wrapped that up just last week good season really good good season. Really good season. You remember the chef, Adam?

He was kind of like a chameleon look to him, and he was a rude to women. Yeah, well, he's out living in one of those vans right now with really, really long hair, and he looks like that guy that used to send bombs and put them in people's mailboxes. Yeah, he kind of looks like a clean shaven Ted Kaczynski at least has the vibe of that. And he's making chicken bakes and going viral on TikTok.

But Adam, we have not forgot your crimes and we crap. Hang on, hang on. We recapped all of a picture of a cop session, the podcast network. OK, so we have to get into below deck episode seven. Yes. And our thoughts and not. Yes, I have thoughts. Go ahead. OK, I want to talk to producers about this because they put one over on us. I think they think, hey,

if we give them a firing at the top of the episode, right, that's enough because this episode wasn't that good. Once Captain Carrie let Jared go, there was nothing that really took place during the entire episode. It was like yeah It was like those French Kings back in there I don't know back in the day when they'd like do a public thing where they chop someone's fucking head off Yeah, you go like hey, I gave you entertainment you all go back home now I don't want to hear from you for a goddamn week

Oh, yeah, go get black plague or something like that, but I entertained you and that's it Yeah, and I'm not sure if that's historically accurate or not I mean, you know, who knows was it the people chopping off heads or were it? Was it King King King Louis the croissant? Yeah King Louis the King Louis the trout Almondine listen, um This episode was a boat stuff sandwich and the two pieces of bread were executions, but Were they enough to?

Let's call them departures Were they enough to satiate us were they enough to give this? 90 plus pots not for me 41 pots zero pots for me Wow, holy smokes the overriding thing that I got from this Wow, holy smokes the overriding thing that I got from this Episode that's what we'll refer to it as an episode of television is what we'll refer to it as is that Captain Carrie is Just a fucking mensch. He's awesome. I mean, he's just such a mensch man I mean the way that he handles cat and Jared's departures his sensitivity towards C-Rat breakdowns, I mean, he's really, really

on top of his game. Yeah, I wanna say this to Captain Kerry though. Don't rest on your laurels and be happy to be on TV because then you'll start faltering. You will make the missteps that Captain Sandy and Captain Lee have made, and they are completely dislikeable people. We really love you right now.

By the way, Captain Kerry, if you can, hit old Patty up. I need to know, when you decided to give Jared the axe, did you in fact give him the axe because you knew you had a backup with Ben? I'm just curious about that. Oh, interesting, interesting, interesting. And speaking of Ben, just in general... Oh, I didn't get mine. Oh, I get mine on zero. Yeah, you said zero. While we're in our general thoughts, I do want to say that seeing back channel Ben pick up that mantle of power was kind of a kin. You know that horrible Amazon Lord of the Rings series when Emo Sauron walks away and he's like,

I am my chemical romance? That's what I felt like when Ben was, you know, risen to the status of boss. And I mean, he's clearly well cut out for it. He's clearly good at his job, but he's also clearly back channel Ben and you know, I don't know. Maybe he'll be better without an adversary to go up against. I'd say my only part that I don't like about Ben is we've had so many Bosons and he wasn't a Boson yet, but they're just womanizing jerks.

And that's the unlikable part about him. But as far as his work ethic, he's top notch. Top notch. Top notch. Top notch. All right, let's get into it. So we begin. At a point in the episode that was the first part

of the episode, and that was. I'll help you out. So Captain Carrie telling the kids part of the episode. And that was. I'll help you out. Yeah. So Captain Carrie telling the kids to go to bed. I've always wondered, you know, every captain, because this is like, I think one time Captain Lee got up and told everybody they needed to shut up and go to bed and I don't think he was wearing a shirt. But other than that, I've always wondered like, you know, with the Sea Rat hijinks and whatnot,

when they return from a night out, like do the captains actually hear them and choose to ignore them because Captain Glenn, he was such a deep sleeper that unless a Sea Rat was using his head as a drink table, he didn't wake up. And then old Captain Sandy, she had those earbuds in listening to whatever motivational speaker she planned on stealing from. And then Lee was just a drunk. And allegedly, and man it was so it's a bottle's in his in the trash well yeah so says a couple sea rats who are themselves you know insane well and also you know victim to addiction you know it gets all of us certainly an unhealthy relationship with drugs and

alcohol yeah no I mean we've had Rat say, can you please beep out that I'm in Virginia? What? What? That was weird. Yeah, it's so weird. But yeah, no, Captain Sandy listens to Tony Robbins. Glenn listens to kind of ambient sounds of war and or body processing and Captain Carrie

is. I mean he's counting sheep and that's why he's a tune to the nightmares of the boat and one of those was this a 2 a.m. performance review over tobacco and it does not go well we hit the hay and we rise for the next day. Jared's up bright and early and is thinking he didn't handle last night too well. And we then roll a package on why Jared should not be on this. Yeah. A little walk down memory lane.

And for Jared's sake, I hope any future employers don't own a TV or know what the internet is. And they're rare, but you can find them, you know, and he should go into job interviews like this. Hi I'm Jared, do you know what the internet is? And if they say yes, he should just get up and go get a muffin or something. Wow that guy just walked out of there. That was weird. I think he should charter boats where like 18 people live in the tribe on the Amazon River, you know? Yeah, It'd be funny to ask somebody conducting a Zoom interview if they know what the internet is and then if they say yes, just hang up. But listen, so it's kind of, I would say, sick on production's part. And you know, I hesitate because we're in the good graces of Bravo right

now. You know, that's been a long kind of trench war that we've been engaged in. So I don't want to run afoul, but. A little tease here, Dill. Interview with Barbie later this week. Yeah, and we've already got some lovely complaints about that from some of our fans. So crazy.

Yeah, OK. Hey, can I talk about Kyle for a second? Well, I just really want to say, sick on production to hire a sacrificial lamb of this ilk. Like, he was speaking of Jared. He was clearly brought in to be made a mockery of and essentially be like a human trampoline for back channel Ben. I mean, you know, to do this man so dirty like this, you have to do a psychological pat down. You have to know that this guy's not cut out for prime time

and you have to go, that's why we're hiring him. Who was that street fighter, a boss in that lasted? Oh, Ray Gunn. Ray Gunn, yeah. She just smoked cigarettes and wins. Yeah, she smoked cigs, she wins. And frustratingly so, I mean, she's not even hitting you. You know, it's like, oh, Baraka like shoots electricity

out of his like beastial body, but Ray Gun just smokes palmols and she wins every single time. And she wins. But then we've also had like, you know, Rue, who's just an international criminal, and why did they hire him, you know, Rue, who's just an international criminal and why did they hire him, you know?

These sacrificial lambs are quite apparent. Now I want to talk about really good casting here as Kyle. I don't think we've given this young man enough credit. He is a good person, quite the cunning little fox. He ended up hanging out with Barbie all night watching that movie. And he's playing a long game with Barbie. His patience and conflict resolution skills are admired by this old drunken Irishman.

Yeah. We are kindred spirits. And speaking of Irishmen, I wanted to just say that it was really kind of shocking when I was hearing Kyle speak. And this memory just popped into my head I was like as crystal in as could be like I would like I had seen the film yesterday Kyle reminds me of Stephen the Irishman from Braveheart

if I risk my neck for you when I get a chance to kill Englishman is your father a ghost of you can verse with the Almighty in order to find his equal and Irishman is forced to talk to God? Yeah Sounds just like it's almost like they're from the same fucking country You know what Dill I think you just teed me up for a segment on PMZ. What the hell ever happened to that actor, dude That is one of the greatest scenes in cinema period. And I know Mel Gibson is a psycho, but I mean, that guy is just an unbelievable character. If you haven't seen Braveheart, you don't need to watch it necessarily because it's kind of a three hour slog of Scotsman

fighting Englishmen. But man, Stephen the Irishman, what a character. So you were gonna say something I believe, or maybe you had completed it. Oh, no, no, no, well, I was gonna say, at this point, the Sea Rats catch up on the night's events. Barbie tells Vampyra that Jared was a dick and that Ben is smashing right now, which is a pretty vulgar way of saying

that he's getting sex. Yeah, well, listen, given the years of boozing and, you know, um, mourning regret, Kyle is, I gotta say, mad props to the cool hand Luke approach to having been accosted by your boss the night previously. I mean, he was just so like, hey, how you doing? He was totally cool about it. I can't believe how much I'm liking Kyle. He is a standout this season.

He's awesome. So Kyle and Barbie are called up for interrogation. Depositions? And Kerry seems to be trying to get the threatened narrative out of the Sea Rats. I got to tell you, much respect to Barbie and Kyle here. We've had a multitude of Sea Rats that go up to that bridge and just bold-face, fucking lie.

We had that French guy last season that told Captain Sandy there was no food on the boat for him to eat. He was lying. But I gotta tell you, Barbie and Kyle, they keep it. Basically, their recount is extremely accurate. I could not stand that guy. Towards the end of the season. Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just I mean, listen, we'll talk about it later. I understand the horrors of your Belinda, but we've got to not be on television

if we're going to be like this. OK? Yeah. Back to production. Like, let's do a little research. Finally, Jared is called up for execution. Captain Carey says it's the second time you've been pissed and you've had shitty behavior You need to depart the vessel

Well, he puts out there that he's had multiple fuck-ups with docking in an unhealthy relationship with alcohol Yeah, now if you're a searight, you can only have one of them. Okay? Yeah, you can't fuck up and also be a drunk. So you got when there's two it's called the tube firm Yeah No The mark of a successful seeride is to be a drunk and to be extremely good at your job despite the addiction. So he goes, I'm getting the boot. Yeah, you

are. And he said the carry says the emotional side of the job is not where it needs to be. And that's just a very astute thing to recognize in a position of leadership. There is an emotional element to management. You cannot be a chip on your shoulder, booze bag, who's pissed off that you lost out on a girl when you haven't called your daughter in two weeks.

You just can't do that. More into Kerry's management style here, because we haven't seen this before, maybe with Captain Glenn. I love how Kerry framed the firing in such a way that it sounded like Kerry was doing it for Jared's well-being. It is very Machiavellian, but it's also, speaking of twofer, we got a twofer here. We've got shrewd politics, and we've also got heart. Jared is not a bad guy. I don't think

either one of us think that he's a bad guy. He's just not in a place in his life to be on television or on a boat. He also can't do math. What do you mean? Well, when he's docking, he's supposed to be calling out the distance. So, you know, he could kill everybody that way you know the boats matches against the dock. Yeah. Yeah, so You got Baker's dozen hot dogs to your right What the fuck? Ben's just sitting there like gaps not gonna like this. Yeah, no shit So the sea rats chat about Sonny getting some dick and the source of that dick is the new Bozen. Damn right I'll accept the bison position.

Jared tells the gang that he's getting axed and Barbie says good go meet your daughter. Pat? Yeah he goes on a I got fired tour and I Barbie in this in this moment or in a couple scenes. She's Patty She's the voice of Patty. Yeah, whatever Jared keeps blabbering on. She's like go meet your daughter Yeah, good luck. So yeah, I gotta spend some time myself do that and also go visit your daughter Barbie is Patty. Yeah, so he says we'll see you down the line saying David He seemed to be well liked and again, not a bad guy. Not a bad guy. I'm ready to go right now So Kyle talks like the crazy guy for Braveheart. We already covered that I know where we are

So Gary hits up the Sea Rat Academy and I want to points out something out here He doesn't text and say hey, do you got anybody for me? Send him my way because that's what how Lee and Captain Sandy worked out he says can you send me some resumes my point is it's a refreshing change to management it seems like someone actually doing their job yeah I mean it's not quite the pulling anybody off the street the way that Sandy and Lee do in a way I worked at Wimbledon what What? The Wimbledon Inn. It's 12 miles away from Wimbledon. Well, that's perfect. Come aboard. Come on. So we get to a crew meeting. Back channel Ben has announced the new Bozen. Frazier then heads around and just like

the, you know, the Anna Wintour of this boat I mean he says is that a pancake or a pillow you know top heavy plump and dump we get to the meeting next it's a meeting known as the preference sheet meeting we may or may have not added the music Thank you for that caveat. You know, the fans are really like, oh, we want to hear the music. We want to hear the music. And it's like, all right, you'll get the music. Hope you enjoyed the music. I love the music and it's like all right you'll get the music hope you enjoyed the music I love the music too all right so we've got Leslie coming aboard

they're gonna want a surf a turf dinner there's also going to be an expedition to Caracas one of the most beautiful and sexy beaches on the planet. Are there mangroves there? I don't think so. You said it was sexy though. Yeah, but because there are no mangroves, it is not going to be a 10 out of 10. They also don't want any French food and they want a murder mystery party. I want to talk about that. Save that for your boring Saturday night on land with your friends.

Okay, you're on a fucking private. Yeah. All right, that's stupid. I disagree I love him murder mystery about on a boat where you're paying 60 grand a day Yeah, it's like the perfect place for a crime to take place on a super yacht. Mm-hmm, you know Do you know dignitaries are dragging people out there? Hey come on on a vacation. Boom, hit in the head with a baseball bat. Yeah, it happened on the season two of White Lotus, I guess. Yep, 100%. I was kind of at the case. Yeah.

And that's an overrated show, right? I love the show. So Kat's friend calls. And she will first, Barbie's mom. mom I love this because this is a little Sea Rat history with Barbie but we learned Barbie's mom is a sex therapist and it's weird because when you walk around her office you could possibly trip over a double-sided dildo or mistake a salt shaker for a butt plug yeah that's that's that's weird to work around. I know and bar. It's also weird that Barbie's mom has so many salt shakers in her office For her guests

so Katz friend calls She rips off her mic and she goes into the bathroom Now I know I'm being harsh What with the horrors of your Belinda, but? crying all the time ripping the mic off it's a sweet thing that she did to protect her friend but we're filming a fucking TV show here cat okay now you know listen this is what scumbag cultists do to people they arrest their development and that's why

they shouldn't be on TV because Kat literally does not have the social skills to adapt to new groups of people because she was in a cult and who knows what happened to this friend? I think Frazier mentions it later on the episode and Kerry another just a beautiful beautiful phrase from him you know they don't know if it's something serious or not but Carrie says to her it is you know but the question remains like with cat crying at the drop of really anything you know a triscuit can fall on the floor and she'll break down. Is that a triscuit? Who knows what happened with her friend? It

could have been a triscuit, but it also could have been like a death. Or her family worshiped Satan or something. Yeah. So provisions arrive. Tony calls his mom. She looks like a Christopher guest character. Um, Fraser joins the chat. Oh, actually, no, we can't gloss over this. Yeah, yeah, Chef Anthony. I love Chef Anthony. His mom called to check in on him, and she has some bad news for him. Yeah, what's that?

Well, his uncle invented a time machine. Oh, I remember this part where she said all this stuff. Yeah, she did. She goes, I got some bad news for you, son. He's like, oh, what? He says, your uncle invented a time machine He's already having sex with your your future wife Yeah, he's like fuck yeah, he's like gosh he's so smart

Yeah, I like you and she's like, oh say lovey You know But Fraser joins the chat in French and we get to the guest's arrival. Now I get that we're bumping up production, but this music is just... Oh, it's crazy. This is the moment I got it. What are we? Are we on a game show? Like what is happening?

I think we're on the challenge or something. Yeah, but the guests come aboard. Kerry says, welcome to Grenada. And then Kerry says that he's going to have to work harder this charter. Sounds like he is coming to contact with a Captain Lee of sorts. Well, Kerry gives a little Sea Rat history of himself. He says he's had a job as a captain for a while,

and he's worked with a lot of lazy assholes. And he admits that he used to pretend to be on the phone. Well, one of his bosses. Oh, that's one of the, because old Patty does that. I used that one multiple times. Like if I'm at the grocery store and I'm like, you know, got the cart there and I'm like, oh, that's, oh, I used to live next to that person

in that shitty apartment. Oh yeah, of course. I rip out the phone. And I'm like, oh, hey Linda, sorry. And then she's coming over to me with her shopping cart. And I'm like, sorry. And I like pretend like it happens to me all the time too, but I'm very worried that they're going to see the phone. You know, if you do a flick of a risk, you know, uh, risk, they could see that it's just the home screen of a bunch of apps and a faint

picture of a cat behind all of them. So what I do is I call the only number I know by heart really and that's 911 and it's gotten me into a couple of different hairy situations. But if they do see they'll see that I am actually on a phone call. I actually had a moment. This was a couple years ago. My old landlord Mark who's an absolute dickhead and he hated me too, but we had a relationship for like eight years, we both see each other. And we both pretend to not see each other.

Yeah, you're just flipping the bird. It was a multiple, I don't wanna talk to you, you don't wanna talk to me. I love those interactions where you just both look at each other and you go, nope. No. We don't need to do this. Not today. Not today. So we leave the doc. Ben, obviously much better at the job and very qualified. Actually kind of happy for him. All these people are in mortgages and real estate. Pat, take it away.

Okay. Real estate is a crazy business. And I forget what's the charter guest's name. Leslie. She's like talking to like Kat or something. She's like, hey, hey, hey, you know, cause they're always like really into people buying real estate or whatever. She's like, hey, here's my advice to you. Whenever you can, buy.

Yeah. Like a realtor would ever tell you, it's not a good time to buy. It's a great time to buy what with interest rates, where they are and where are they? They're low, but housing is expensive and that means it's the perfect time to buy. It's like, imagine running a burger shop

and a customer comes in and you're like, eh, today's not a good day to eat a burger. They never say that because they're in the business of selling burgers. There are sometimes it's not a good day to eat a burger. They never say that because they're in the business of selling burgers. There are sometimes it's not a good time to buy real estate. Yeah, no. Linda. Leslie is one of these types of people cut to 2006 or 2007. We can get you into the house of your dreams.

Do you need my income? We do not. Do you need any assets? We do not. We don't any assets? We do not. We don't even need your name. You could just lie. Here, just sign here, will ya? Yeah, and it's like, there's really beautiful,

like these like programs, like there's a program right now in California that's like if you make $150,000 or less, you can qualify for like a mortgage that you can use to pay off the mortgage or get into the down payment, you have to pay that off eventually. Like when you're dead, like your children will be, uh, they'll come after you for

that. But the issue is that like, Hey, mortgages, it's every month, you know, and the property taxes are a couple of times a year and you cannot afford that. So forget the down payment, Leslie. It's not a good time to buy. Yeah. But this was Leslie in 2007. Cause I like to keep that going here. Sign on page one. Well, I'm reading this here, it says our mortgage is $250 a month. That's right. While I'm looking on page two, it says after three years, it's going to be $7,000.

Just worry about page one. Yeah, just worry about page one. And if you ask me about page two again, I'm going to get really pissed off and I'm going to tell you, well, it's a $1.7 million house and you make forty five thousand dollars a year so what did you expect these real estate people are psyched they can be horrible I hate that we have some listeners there probably in the real estate game yeah but some of you are guys are pretty greedy and wacky yeah you know you're not so yeah come on all right so I feel like 15 minutes of not much passes.

But yeah, that's what I was talking about at the top, man. This is a- Hit the boat stuff sandwich. Yeah, they chopped someone's head off at the top of the episode. We were all entertained, and now we're bored. We get to sushi, white wahoo, ahi tuna, and lobster. Tony is beloved.

Well, how's he doing? Come on, lay it out here, Dale. He's doing horribly. Really? I mean, over the course of the season? No, let it out here. He's doing horribly. Really? I mean, over, over the course of the season. Well, no, let me amend that. Let me amend that. He's not doing horribly. He's doing fine. There we go. He's putting out mediocre food for mediocre new money. And that's what this show calls for.

But we get a soliloquy later on the show about cooking fillets to medium-rare What What Hmm. Well Pat you could cook a filet medium. I just did on Sunday Yeah, my first New York steak thing fucking cost me like 18 bucks. The price of red meat. I cooked that. Thanks Obama. Everybody ate it. Everybody loved it. Yeah. I did a good job. I sprinkled a little salt and pepper on there. The thing was just as good as any steakhouse I've gone to. Yeah absolutely

and that's why when we spend a minute talking about how you based steak and butter and time I mean I'm just like I don't time. I mean, I'm just like, I don't know. You know, perhaps I've grown too cynical. What with my voluminous knowledge of the culinary arts, but it just seemed like, imagine if someone was waxing poetic about how to make a grilled cheese. You'd be like, it doesn't need this much poetry. It's pretty straightforward.

Now, part of my filthy yucky perception, Dill, but that steak that they did serve looked like the jocksy, jockey marks were still on it. A little red there. I think he'd sous-vided and was gonna sear it off later, but Tony has great eyebrows and the lashes of a baby camel. Phrase, what a pull. I mean, it's unbelievable. Have you seen the lashes on those animals? They're stunning. So we get to the evening while the guests freak out over male yeast infections. This is like dumb drunk guy. Yeah.

What are you afraid? I'm afraid. I'm afraid of a you shot up What are you afraid? I'm afraid of a you. Shut up. Barbie makes the table. The tablescape. Fat Tuesday. She's pretty, she's not, she's not bugs, but she is, she's getting there. Oh yeah, she's getting there. It's interesting, I know that Barbie is kind of a diminutive person, but it's kind of like, I don't know if these people know that there was a sea ride literally crawling all over the table to set this whole thing up.

It's true. She had her feet on the table. So we went to bed with a lead deck hand, and we woke up with a bosun, huh, Sonny? Yes, we did. And I like how they joke about her being, she jokes about him being her boss now, and she hopes that it doesn't get weird.

Yeah, she is going to completely dominate him. What's the over under these two imploding? Well, we see a fight in the multiple trailers that they've showed us. We get four episodes. Yeah. Although if I mean, if you want me to give a little behind the Sea Rat, uh, news, uh, this past December, uh December Ben was posting pictures vacationing in Australia and she's in many of those Instagram photos but he does not point

her out by name. Oh interesting. Okay so dinner gets ready. Tony this is where the soliloquy happens on Cooking Medium or Steak and then we welcome the charter guests to Fat Tuesday. The dinner is as chuggy as you could possibly imagine. Champagne, vinaigrette, and beet salad up first with surf and turf and white sweet mash. Let's go ahead and do this. Let's not call anything ever white sweet mash. Right?

And it's not a problem with the dish. It's a problem with branding You know Dylan is there a governing? It's like if we call the hamburger a dead meat sandwich or a dead beef sandwich, you know You wouldn't want to eat that dill is there a governing body of food that of the culinary arts that says you can't call that a What do you call it when you they break down a famous dish a deconstructed meat salad like is there a governing body that says no you can't call it that unfortunately not and I've had fierce debates with people who have called me a tyrant but I do think there should be some kind of CEF a culinary economic

forum or something to to you know to, you know, to, to break down the rules of the especially to oversee the show chopped. I mean, they just make it up on the spot. Yeah. Well, chopped is not real. Chopped is not real cooking. I love that show. Yeah.

We're so happy to welcome you. And we're so proud of you for dedicating your life to First drugs and alcohol and then by kind of default cooking and you're gonna come in second Definitely because your mother died right and you are now going to cook with peppered turkey Gouda cheese Pop rocks and candy canes and peanut butter. Yeah, it candy yes it it's a ridiculous show so surf and turf whites meat mash vanilla cheesecake and a homemade coulis basic as basic can be but it's what these people wanted he

delivered 60 pots day one let's rise for the next day early risers are here cat is having a freak out in the bottom bunk. And oat milk cappuccinos are served. Kat Katzandi, Kat Katzandi, now the problems begin. Kat is obviously going through something. She's asked where the cleaning catty is and rushes to the toilet to cry. Now. Now this is Vampira prompting her.

She is not riding cat by any means. She just like very matter of fact, hey, this room wasn't finished. The mirror wasn't wiped down. And by the way, where's the whatever caddy and cat loses her shit. This is not on Vampira, although the show doesn't depict it that way. But it's worth pointing out. Vampira did nothing wrong to trigger cat to basically lose her shit. No, I think not. And I feel for her. But once again, twofold. One, clearly not cut out for this period.

But two, she's, I don't know. I just feel so horrible for her. I feel so horrible for her. And I want the people that abused her to be capitally punished. Yeah, enough of this. You know, what are we doing? Putting up with fucking psychotic alcoves of people who pray to the ghost of Tim Allen or whatever the fuck they pray to abusing children and shit.

It's like, can it, what was that big shootout with the FBI? Waco Waco, you know, uh, let's have more of those. You know what I mean? They lit that place on fire with a fucking fire tank, man. Yeah. And a lot of lives were lost. So maybe we don't have more of those just because of the untold, you know. The atrocities. Yeah. There were children in there. But we got to fix it somehow. Absolutely. Now, Kat walks by Barbie in that little eating area, and she announces she's over it. And Barbie says, and this is old Patty. I think Barbie and I are kindred spirits.

This is going to be a fun interview. Totally. She says, do you want to talk? She says, no. She goes, OK. Chomps on that Granny Smith. I've often thought of you as a kind of materialistic Argentine princess.

You have. Yeah. Kind of feel that way. Yeah. I think, I think that's so you. I'm looking forward to that chat with Barbie. So Fraser lets Captain know that Kat is not going to make it. And they say, despite what is going on to her, it's horrific.

And I'd say good leadership to both of you. We head out to Caracow and we get Kat's departure. Well, I was going to say first off, um, uh, Fraser finds her crying in the bed and she explains she's kind of losing it. And then Fraser lets her know that she can leave if she needs to. And then he, then he lies to her. Yeah.

He says she's been amazing. Yeah. Remember, Fraser had told someone earlier, a coworker. And then he lies to her. He says, she's been amazing. Remember, Frazier had told someone earlier, a coworker, he's like, I will lie to you. Yeah, totally. He says that to Tony. And go down Frazier, because were it someone with a sadistic kind of bone in their body,

they would have been like, you know, you've been horrible the whole season and and we're here for you. So she departs and we are now expected to deliver seven-star service. I don't even think there were that many stars. I didn't know it existed at that level. With not just one deck hand down, but also interior down. I mean, Olympus has fallen or has it not.

Next week is gonna be great. We get like a hot new deckhand coming aboard. I've been talking to this. Oh, I'm not supposed to say that. Okay. So jump in the comments. Let us know what you thought of the episode. iTunes ratings and reviews.

I'm gonna read some right now because you guys have heated the call. Thank you guys very much for jumping in those reviews. Let us know what you thought of the episode. iTunes ratings and reviews. I'm going to read some right now because you guys have heeded the call. Thank you guys very much for jumping in those reviews. Read the bad ones too. You know, we, you know. Oh, we love the bad ones. We absolutely.

I don't. Depresses me. Does it really? If I'm like scrolling board and I'm like, hey, what are people talking about me? And then I hear like zero stars. Like, no. Yeah. Those are the ones that hurt.

Because they didn't even give me a chance. I'm going to read some that are just great. And these are perfect reviews, OK? This is from Nico Lala. Hilarious recaps, five stars. It feels good to laugh. I mean, who could disagree with that? That's why that's my job.

This is from Meg123455. Five stars, kind words, five stars, you're welcome. And that's the kind of relationship we wanna have with our fans. You know, not only are you indebted to us for making your commutes tolerable, but we're indebted to you because, you know, Pat's wife could not have a room filled with Pelotons, were it not for you guys.

I mean, she's at like seven or eight at this point. Yeah, I gotta need to build an extra room. That's it for us. Love you guys very much. Patreon.com, session of the podcast, network, socials everywhere. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat, say goodbye.

Later dudes! Love