Another Below Deck Podcast - Who Says Flatware? feat. Ruby Wrenn | Below Deck Med S8 E13

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

Dylan, Pat and Ruby are back to break down flatware, how rainbow pancakes are perfectly fine for a big gay brunch, being okay and not okay, The Mummy starring Brendan Frazer and not Tom Cruise and more from Bravo's Below Deck. Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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So he sees that there is pasta he does not want the pasta he begins storming around the boat and goes up to the captain's quarters and says there's no food for me. I'm gonna wait I will not speak to Jack if that's what you're asking me are you asking me gonna wait. I will not speak to Jack. If that's what you're asking me, or you're asking me to do that, I will not speak to Jack. I'm going to wait. I'm going on a Mahatma Gandhi hunger strike because there's no food. And equally bizarrely, Sandy is like,

Hey, I don't like liars. Liars? What? Are we even, the truth is completely irrelevant? Sandy? Sandy? He is... He's spinning out of control. Welcome aboard another brand spanky new episode of another blooded arc podcast. My name is Dylan.

I'm settled up next to one Patrick Kiki permission to come aboard. Grandad sub Ruby. Hey, Dylan. Not enough fanfare, right? Not enough fanfare, joining us from across the States. Um, there are ponds there, too. Um, is my sister, she's home for the holidays. It's, it's wicked that she's here.

Ed, it's Ruby. Hey, Del, how's it going? Mm-hmm. Well, that's great going? Mm-hmm. Well, not great. Why not, Dale? What is happening to me right now is a fit of allergies that makes me feel like I am going through some kind of Egyptian burial ritual. I feel as though my brains are liquefying and they're coming out of my eyes

and they're coming out of my nose and I'm gonna go to bed tonight and I'm gonna wake up in a thousand years and I'm gonna be a shapeshifter and I'm gonna go after Brendan Fraser. I don't feel good right now. Oh and tragically, I will be very scared of cats. I thought you were gonna do that Tom Cruise one, you know, because he's a bigger star than Brendan Fraser. I would never do that. Oh, that movie was a piece of shit.

I would never do that. Anoxinamoon, and I'm sorry that you're leaking, and that you feel like you're being embalmed. So guys, we have a below deck to talk about. Um, rather lackluster episode, talk about. Rather lack cluster episode, but Pat what makes every episode great. Someone you hate. Someone you hate.

And we hate Billy, because he's a pan-ass. And he's rude, and he's short. In height or speech. Both. Okay. But we gotta get some PSAs out of the way, Dill. 100%. All right, so below deck is taking a two week hiatus.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we have Christmas, the day Jesus was born sure Yeah, and the new year is the following week and then the episodes will start a role in the sometime in jay Imagine giving birth on hay Absolutely not you know my son played baby Jesus at church this past Sunday You this is you want to talk about the power of Jesus? Brother don't I know it? I grabbed my kid after.

There's a line out the door they wanted to see who his baby Jesus was. Oh wow, that's so cute. Did you charge? He took a shit right while it was in my arms. I felt bad for the people. Wow, yeah. He's been doing a lot of that.

We changed this formula on. And they wanted to see the baby that played baby Jesus. He was a star. Uh-huh. Do they know that he is in the real Jesus? to see the baby that played baby Jesus. He was a star. Uh huh. Do they know that he is in the real Jesus? He's not. He was on set.

Okay. Well, good job. Although, you know, who knows? He can't even talk yet. So. He may be a little tiny profit. You got there. No, he's a little bit.

James could be. He played Jesus. He was Jesus. Uh, we're not talking about acting here, though, Pat. We're talking about the end times. We're talking about a messionic figure that is shitting himself while you cradle him. Well anyway, PSAs, start the new year off.

We're gonna do Vanderpump rules. We don't know where we're putting that yet. Do you tell anybody at church that you don't believe in any of the Haka, baby shit? I don't, but I have to tell you this, Dylan. We don't think it's Haka, go in a church. I think it's beautiful. On a Sunday, Pat is a splinter cell in those pubes. I don't, but I have to tell you this, Dylan. We don't think it's hucka, my shit. I think it's beautiful. On a Sunday, Pat is a splinter cell in those pews.

I don't know where I stand. I'll say this though, I'm starting to like church, and I realize why. It's the only time, four and a half, that no one's bugging me. I just sit there and just kind of meditate. Yeah. Some nice music. It's beautiful.

The pastor, pastor, Jonathan's a complete moron. He couldn't put together a good story if he fell on his lap. Sure. He did like a 20 minute rant on mustard seeds like three weeks ago. He's a complete idiot. I want to help him. He should take some writing classes.

Can I tell you, I went to the St. Mel Christmas concert. And it was beautiful. My mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and my nephew made up three generations of singers. That's a really wonderful. And they sang, I believe, Silent Night. And outside of that moment, I mean, it was absolute misery. And I was going down the program.

I was like, all right, we're absolute misery. And I was going down the program. I was like, I was like, all right, we're getting through this. We're getting here. Come Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus. Next one, jingle bells, bell choirs, gonna come in here and then we get to a Christmas medley. I mean, this should be illegal. You can't. I've timed this out.

I've gotten through six songs. I think I know when this is gonna be wrapping up. And then we've got the Christmas medley. The Christmas medley added about seven minutes. Oh my God. Now I'm in the Twilight Zone. I don't know where I am. I don't know how long.

I can't trust anything. I bet in many ways that Medley was very much like this episode. Uh-huh. Thanks for all over the place. Unintertaining. All right, PSAs. Yeah. So Vanderpump rules in the beginning of January, 90 day, the single life.

Those are the two shows I believe that the team has agreed to recap in 2020. And many of you have said, don't go there. It's quicksand. Well, we've got snorkels. Mm-hmm. And we like to sink. We'd love sinking, and I am probably a little bit too high, because it's six minutes into the show, and we haven't gotten to the second PSA.

Oh, what's second PSA? Do we have a second PSA? No, I don't think so. Okay. So, we're on the right track, and it's time to get to thoughts and parts. I went to a Jewish baby naming ceremony recently. And I would like to say that although I don't necessarily do the religious part of it, I think that looking around those beautiful big, big rooms with all the big, big people in there

and their spirit and their children, it's actually very, very nice. And maybe it's the holidays. Maybe it's just, I don't know. No, no, no, I mean, to the people that do it because they do believe in the religiosity, we do too. And it's beautiful. Happy belated honey. Nothing better, nothing better than to look Nietzsche right in his fucking face and say no. Yeah. Also just a really quick side note, the mayor of New York City was there for some reason. I don't know why and he was giving a speech and he started off the speech. Eric Adams by telling the Jewish people of the synagogue what he thinks the Jews in the world

are doing wrong. Okay. And below deck. Wow. Thanks Eric. Appreciate it. He'll be out soon, right? Probably. Yeah, so good try. Thoughts and pots is this. It was fun. It was chaos. It was the worst of Tumi, the worst of Max. I think quite a bluff from Kyle. I know these are your thoughts, but I thought Tumi didn't have a bad episode, but I guess I'll have to look at my notes.

I watch this show. Particularly vicious tonight. Well, I've been talking to her. She's gonna come on the show. Maybe we got to. Oh, really? Yeah. Lowercase V vicious. Yeah, lowercase.

I mean, that word is in the middle of the set and somewhere, and the other words are complementary. Can I tell you something? So we talk to the C-Rats quite a bit. And there's been occasions where C-Rats have reached out to Dylan and I and asked us politely to stop talking about 61 pots. To me, on the other hand, I've talked massive shit about her. She has been so gracious with my criticism of her. Well, Patrick, her father was murdered before she had to do a dance recital. So she's very pretty tough. She's a tough bitch.

Yeah. Again, lowercase, be good bitch. Yeah, I mean, bitch in like a flyway and like a friend. That's what I took it. What were you gonna say, Ruby? Nothing. I'll do it. Yeah, my pods. I think that everyone is falling apart at the seams.

I think this reminds me of like the third session of summer camp when everybody is so tired, your knee, systems are down. You have no energy left. Everybody wants their own bed and... I'm tired of the commissary. tired your needs systems are down you have no energy left everybody wants their own bed and tired of the commissary yeah I'm sick of the commissary I want to take a shit in my own bathroom where I can be on my phone and not have to worry about Captain Sandy coming in and that's where they are and then Billy is

the fucking charter guest so I'll keep on theme prices right 62 pots 62 pots. Okay. I am happy that we are getting a little reprieve from watching the show and recapping it. This was one of the worst episodes of the season if you're asking. Oh great got it. Yeah. You know, Max unrevelling at the tail end as you guys pointed out, Applee, you know, he's just it's he's tired. Yeah. Possibly a little hungover. Well, know, he's just, he's tired. Yeah. It's possibly a little hungover. Well, and also he's like on, he's like on European mushrooms just all the time. Yeah, yeah, he's talking to walls.

Natalia is on the show more than Haley. Yes. Which is interesting. Natalia is on the show. Oh, why is it interesting? Chef Jack. Well, because people that are too normal often don't get a lot of screen time.

And Haley is not normal, she's out of her mind. Well, yeah, she hates anators, who hates anators. Yeah. But I rings to mine a girl we called the weird one. I think her birth name was Kelsey from last year. Oh, yeah, yeah. She was on the show. She was pretty good at her job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember her. We don't want those kind of sea rats here. We want fuck ups, okay. And that's what makes good television. Yeah, yeah, sure, I remember her. We don't want those kind of sea rats here. We want fuck ups, okay? That's what makes good television. Yeah, sure. Anyway, Billy being a painting he asked is wonderful because I just, I can't actually put my finger, him being short with people and then I think

he had another guest that was like really short. Oh, I'm excited to talk about Matthew because Billy is the kind of, he is the big villain on the billboard. Careful. the kind of, he is the big villain on the billboard. Careful. But Matthew is the one with the silhouette in the back and you gotta look at the poster a couple times to realize, oh, actually he is the one pulling all of the shoe strings, tying the shoe tight,

making everybody bad. Yes. All right, terrible outing. I'll give this a four knots. Wow, good. Ruby, you delivered yours, right? Yep. And the correct answer was 71 actually,

pretty high ranking Ruby wins. A Ford Focus. So you will have to pay taxes on that. It'll cost you 13, seven. Oh my God. So one last ride, everybody, one last ride. Those were my notes for winter house. Well, let me help you.

We begin with one of those employee reviews. That's Captain Sandy with Lily. Yeah. And it's less of an employee review and more of a thread of termination. Sure, yeah, yeah. But it comes off, it's kind of like faked as a Tony Robbins kind of, you know, pep talk, you know, but it's definitely if you don't get shit together, you're fucking fired. Yeah, like if this were a corporate setting, she would be put on a performance plan and then

fired immediately afterward, you know, but it's not. It's a boat with no laws or rules. Yeah. So that's what happens is Captain Sandy does that. And Sandy pretty much exists in conference room B of the Marriott, you know, that's like her entire. Sit down, sit down. Um, you have a piece of paper in front of you in a pen, okay?

All right. First off, we want to say we love you as a person. I want you to write out the things that you find most challenging about this position. Just like right now, like how do I write? Yeah, just go ahead, right in front of me. I'm going to grab a coffee. Okay. And I'll be back in it.

Maybe a muffin too. We had one of those people have us in a room and they said, okay, here's a pen, here's a piece of paper. I want to see how many lines you can draw that are straight in under a minute, right? What? This was for you or? It was me and four other people.

So we're like, okay, boss. So they hand me the pen, they go go. And I just start drawing lines. And then it's not go ahead next to me. It just starts scribbling. Like, you know, he's lost his mind in a... Yeah, sure, yeah, yeah. And at the conclusion, they said,

you did the best, Mario, because you were thinking out of the box. I didn't give you any rules. I just said more lines. Oh, wow. The rest of you felt like you were kept in some kind of box. Uh-huh. Were you either applying for the CIA

or at a Montessori school? Or what are we talking about? I'm sure of box. Were you either applying for the CIA or at a Montessori school? Or what are we talking about? What are we talking about? And my job was to do data entry and that's what they were putting me through. And that's why insurance is fucked. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

So, and I hate this, but let's just go ahead and automate. Right? Let's just go ahead and automate. That, yes. Or let's not do the creative inspiration drills for data entry, right? Because people are just trying to get through the day without killing themselves.

I remember I'd, I'd, thank God for fantasy football. I saved the lives of so many men. So many people, you're right, Dylan. I did, I would do one hour of actual work today. I'd wrap up my entire work day. And my supervisor, Barbara would say, remember Pat, she'd say, yeah, you got to keep your job.

You got to stretch this out a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're making the rest of us look bad. Was that actually what she said or did she take the form of like a little person on your shoulder? No, no, no, no, she told me job security, slow down. Okay, got it. So Lily is told that she sucks and I hate to beat up on Lily, but down. Okay, got it. So Lily is told that she sucks,

and I hate to beat up on Lily, but when she says, like trust me, you haven't seen what I'm capable of. I mean, we kind of have. Here's my question also for Lily. If that's true, why not? Yeah. What are you waiting for?

Why are you hiding it from us? What are you waiting for? It's just beds. Let me act at you. Yeah, so don't hide anymore. Lily, give us everything you've got. Yeah. Those beds as well as you can, or else you're fired.

And to be fair to her, she really did run a corner this up to seven. Oh, 100%. Lily took that master's degree. She filled the tank with it, and she got to go. I was going to mention mention that my thoughts and not Because it bring it gets brought up when Sandy breaks the news to to me that she's staying This is this is the lower case v viciousness that I was talking about. Are you gonna pull something up there?

Roops. No, no, I'm not. Oh, okay. Well, Sandy gives to me the good news or wish she thought it was good She says despite Lily being absolutely incompetent and effective useless She has a little something Sandy calls character. Oh, yeah. Yeah. When she's picking Seerat's, you can always teach Seerat how to fold bed linens into a shape of a penis, you know?

But you can't teach a nasty little Seerat how to be nice. Well, you can't. It's character. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Skills can be taught on boats. Character cannot. Correct. Luke amounts Jess and then we get to... No, to me is saying that she is a little bit bummed because she was hoping that lily would get fired. She can't.

Yeah. And that's that kind of thing that you were talking about earlier on in the season that, you know, it's two of these first rodeo. You know how people say, this is my first rodeo, you know. And it's usually people who say that in like a really kind of cheesy, almost unapplicable way. But with confidence. So this is my first round. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right, right.

Like the perfect example of the kind of person that would say that is to the people who are making the burrito bowl at Chipotle and they say, guac costs this much and they say, this isn't my first rodeo. Exactly like that. What was I? This is Tumus first rodeo. Tumus, yep. Yep.

And because of that, she doesn't quite and to those wondering, I will not be asking this question of her when we talked to her. But she's not really embracing the team aspect of it. So she would much rather have Lily just go away rather than kind of invest in her and make her better. I think also a lot of that is because again, everyone's tired.

It's really long. It's been too long to everyone wants a nap. And she would rather just give Lily a gift card to the grocery store instead of trying to teach her how to fish at this point. Let's get to the preparation meeting. We've got a repeat charter, booboo-ditty-doo-doo. It's a repeat charter, booboo-ditty-doo-doo. It's also a redemption charter on the counter. Yes, on the counter that was darned.

Stabilizer is hosting. Stabilizer's nearly fucking killed everybody. Uh-huh. I wonder if TJ Lavend would be incredibly annoyed by Sandy, or if you would be like, I fucking love Sandy. No, he would love sand. He would love sand. And I think TJ laughs would have a great time on one of these one.

I would love to see TJ Lavend on Bolo Deck. I just about shit. He should please just about piss and shit and you know what? He wouldn't anywhere on that teak. He would use only toilets to piss and shit. Oh yeah, and he wouldn't get out of control. I'm so grateful for all of the pecania, but not Billy. Billy runs a marketing agency last time. The boat almost capsized in the Brazilian stay cow. Nope. Let's. You always tell me you got to take it slow. Night one.

I think slow down. What's on night one, Del? The boat almost capsized last time and there was no slide. It was held up in customs because I think there was heroin in it. Night one will be a Brazilian stayhouse dinner with local Brazilian Italian dancers because that's something that they asked for. They also ask for a big gay breakfast the next morning and Jack says he's going to be ordering

the most expensive caviar. This should be good. Now Kyle is suffering right now. And he said that word. And I understand him using that word, but the way Kyle says that word makes my eyes roll. You know, yeah, you know what I mean? I do do. It's like a hashtag on an on an Instagram post because I don't want to call Kyle out on being ill. You know, it's rude and cynical of me to say that he was faking it. I think he needed a couple days.

Yeah, me too. A little personal time. Yeah, but that's not allowed on boats. You know, like, like if you, I have a question, Pat, over the last, Ruby has a question. Quick, quick cue for Patty. Over the last few, I don't know, months since your second child came into the world. Any Miss A. Shenzhen's, Pat?

Would you have loved to just maybe take a day or two to yourself to just be by your, just for a mate, or even just a couple hours, just let me be alone. Yeah. But that's not allowed because you have a family. Let him answer, let him answer. Oh no, she's nailing it.

My wife and I are at each other's throats. Because neither one of us have had one minute to ourselves. Right, so it must be nice Kyle, take your fake. No, I mean, he's suffering and we don't know if he was faking or not. I know, and that's not, and I'm extending grace to him, especially if he was, and I'm sorry. Yeah, we're sorry if you were a sick man.

Yeah, no, we really are. And like, look at me. I mean, I'm literally mummified right now. And I'm here, you know, just making all the sense in the world, I'm doing my best. Exactly. I'm going slow and I'm doing my best. Look at, look at, you sound drunk.

Look at Haley, me, Il, and vomiting everywhere. And then Kyle, same thing. One of them is enraging and the other one you're like, oh, hell. Speaking of Haley as a stomach bug, so we're a woman down there. Luca doesn't seem to mind. He's just squeezing Lars ass and he's putting Max on late. And Max says, no, no, no, it's just bodge for my cookie. It's like, what?

And he's like, I'm like cookie no ha, if I stay late. And then he like dances on the floor. It was so incredibly wild. Yeah. So we move on, Max is pulling hairs from Lily's face, I think. And Kyle is still down to me. Admits that Kyle being down is a problem and Kyle is still down to me.

Admits that Kyle being down is a problem because she's left with Jess and Lily and says I tried to get Lily fired 12 hours ago. And this is where I'm saying lowercase V, but I mean, that's just absolutely vicious. Yeah. You know? It was great though. Yeah.

All right. So Billy's Charter is not looking good and they are on their way. Question for these handsome rotund gay gentlemen. If you had this bad of an experience the last time, why are you coming back? Well, Del, are we talking fourth wall production? Are we talking just in reality of these weather circumstances that were handed down the last charter?

I don't understand the question, but I'm gonna go with the first part. I think they're just liking being on TV for the business. That's the correct answer. Because you'd never pay full price for a second time based on what they experienced the first time. Right. Those goddamn stabilizers nearly fucking killed them.

Yeah, I mean, there was glass flying everywhere. There was no slide. And if you didn't have a impetus or desire to market your shitty real estate or marketing agency on Bravo, you would say, for years and years and years and years and years at dinner parties and cocktail parties and whatnot, want to hear about the worst vacation of my life and you would never ever go back. No. No. Belaborate.

But, you know, I do want to remind the audience, we had a fun interview with Lada and she had said with all her experience of working as a Deckie, generally that goddamn slide, it sucks because you do all that work. It takes like 20 minutes to blow it up, 20 minutes to suck it back in and people go down at once. Yeah. Yeah.

I would go down at least five times. I'd have to. I would have, but it wouldn't. It's so fun going down a big slide like that. Yeah, I think also though, if you're... I put furniture on it. I think that people don't get creative enough with it. If you're really there, and you're kind of...

Oh, try to cartwheel down it. Are you kidding? And there's the net, so you can't really hurt yourself as you're flying off it. Let's fucking go. Yeah, get as much steam as you can. Oh, I take a running start dive, and they're like, no, no, no, you can't do that.

And you're like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Boom, you're already fucking flying down you can't do that. And you're like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, boom, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. Get naked. Why not? So Margarita's to welcome them aboard. They're already shitting on the decor, mocking, you know, how bad it was last time. I mean, these these guys, they're just sassy as fuck. All right. So it's a new charter. You got come in with a fresh attitude. Not for these ones. Not these guys. Not for these guys. So. He's one of the few.

I'm sorry. He's one of the people that everyone's know how we get people like this, that they have a business. And you say to yourself, why did you tell us that? Because the only thing you're doing is making me hate you. Yeah. And never and promise myself that I'll never use your business ever. Right.

Or ever in my life. And the whole one. It's like Erica and... Exactly. Yep. Was that her name? Yes. Erica Rose.

Erica Rose, and he gets on the Zoom with us and he's like, I've had 500,000 clicks on my Google. And it's like... Chuck. Chuck. Chuck. People are trying to find your address so that they can hurt you. Do you know what docs is, Jack?

So Jack is good at cooking meat. He is not worried about the pecanian, any way, shape or form. Now, Jill, what prompted him giving a little history of his meat cooking expertise? The charter guests make their way down to the galley, and I haven't seen this before. They already let the chef know how they're, how they'd like their steak cut. Medium plus. Yeah, I thought that was a little premature. In most settings like this, you'd be asked how you'd like your steak cooked and then that would be right before dinner or something. Oh, no, I mean, me and Robs, I mean, pretty

much every time we walk into a restaurant, we tell the major day, be it Sizzler and Musa's and we're going to head back, have a quick combo with the chef. Oh, right, right, right, of course. Because it's important to kind of just lay everything out on the table. But Jack says that he's really, really good at cooking. Stake, he worked at an American steakhouse on the Flash to photograph with a branded knife that said medium rare. The restaurant was called medium rare. And if you call your steakhouse medium rare,

it'll be closed soon. And if COVID, I mean, it'll just be COVID or no COVID, it's gonna be bad. It's done in two. Yeah. So that's just not good. No, can I do a meanwhile here? Yeah. Do you wanna go to medium rare tonight, honey?

Maybe I have sex after? No. Okay. Meanwhile. Meanwhile. To me, radio is Lily, because she asked her how much time it's going to be before she's completed the laundry. Yeah.

And Lily does something here that drives me nuts. She responds with the non-answer. She's, the irons aren't hot right now. This is how this affects me and my regular life. She was speaking in metaphor. Right, it's a non-answer. This is how this happens to me in my day of the life. I call my wife, honey.

What time should I pick up dinner? My wife answers, well, Ellie's eating cheddar bunnies right now. And then I'm headed to Target. Perfect. That answer clarified everything. Right. Thank you. I hated this so much. And I couldn't tell if Tumi said into the radio, that's not helpful. I need minutes. And I don't think she did. And that broke my heart because she would have been so in her right to do it. You know? Yeah, exactly. We get a little bit of C. Red History, Lillie's family.

I mean, this makes just the most sense in the world. They started an escape room business. I don't think it's a franchise yet. And she also has a master's degree from the U of B, University of Bristol, environmental policy and management Which naturally means Seerat Well, deal we have why are you a Seerat? What's what's happening? It's great point We've had we've had some nuclear physicists

Working on these muscles. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't always guarantee that you know how to make a cocktail or spot some gizz on the railing. Yeah, yeah. Sam from season one of BoloDec is genuinely one of my least favorite sea rats we've ever spoken to. We talked to her twice and when I had to delicately talk about how she was lying about being a genius in physics. I was gaslit by her and I couldn't press

because it's insulting to question a young woman's education, though she's not that young anymore, but she was lying about that the entire time. You've triggered a thought in line. Dylan and I recorded. We keep talking about this. In episode 10. In episode 10.

Okay, Dylan, why don't we, this is why you should go over to patreon.com. We did not want to post this episode because it's such a train wreck. It's Sam and who said other crazy person from that season? Don't remember. Okay. Another person that was on that season, I don't know what the hell she was talking about. Clonapin probably.

Dylan, do you think we can possibly have that as a special bonus episode? Yeah, maybe by the end of the year. That'll be a Patreon.com. It was a train wreck. My God. But the sea rats nowadays, they play along a little bit better because they're kind of shrinking back into having little to no relevance, hasn't quite gotten them to the pill bottle yet. Business notifications getting out of hand,

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But OGC rats, I mean, my God. I mean, it's bad. It's really bad. Sorry, that's my God. I mean, it's bad. It's really bad. Sorry, that's my roommate. Oh, how old are you? It's just dark. It's so dark. He blur out my address.

Yeah, we didn't say your address. No one has your address. You said you live in Virginia, is? I don't know, I don't know. I just don't know what you're saying. I don't want people looking for me. what you said to me. I don't know what you said to me. Okay. We will be sure to do that. It's like, are you on pharmaceuticals or did you become a spy?

And also, Denise Richards, thank you for your appearance. Speaking of what do you want. Thank you. Thank you for what you did. Thank you so much. Oh, I love that. You brought that up because we're going to bring up a housewives reference from Beverly Hills in this next scene, lunch service. Delay, okay, if we get to this. Yeah, of course. Okay, I knew these guests were basic when I heard this. One of the requests with the caviar is that it'd be on a big potato. A caviar healthened it, it's good for everybody. You can just put it on a goddamn lace potato chip, you idiot.

Same thing. Potato. So so many things about this make me so angry, but I do want to just get back really quickly to Denise Richards being on Valium at Kyle's marijuana dinner. I wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart to Stormtrooper's starred in his Richards, but also to Doreet who really doesn't offer much

by way of being a housewife, but that moment was so unbelievably special. Yep, darling. I think your jacket's upside down, darling. Don't do this. Don't do this. I know what you're doing. I know what you're doing.

And I'm not going to do this right now. What? I'm not, no, I think your jacket's on upside down. It's not. I see what you're trying to do. And I know. I want to bring this up because I've worked in Beverly Hills with a bunch of rich people for 20 years Yeah, this is pretty common, but this is at home. Oh, yeah, you know the kids are at school. There's a bunch of nannies

Sure This is Denise when she knows it's a filming day. Yeah Okay, yeah, oh, yeah, don't start. When you're looking at Erica Jane and Erica Jane and you as an audience member are sitting there having the same thoughts and that thought is, what is she? What's going on? What are you talking about? Name one. What are you referring to? If you want to rewatch the show that we're on, you can and then call me but you didn't, you know. It's all filmed. All right. So back to below deck.

Oh, yes. Lunch service. It's not going well. The hogs are not thrilled that they do not have the spontaneous baked potato that they've asked for. Anybody who knows anything about cooking knows that baking a potato takes conservatively seven and a half hours.

They're a very, very stubborn vegetable. And to just go ahead and ask for a spur of the moment baked potato is quite literally fucking insane and out of line. Secondly, get me in at Chiefsdo, because any Chiefsdo who doesn't know to tell Jack to just make some potato chips

or open a bag of las and go high low with these people, they will slap it up like the ant eaters that Haley hates. It's delicious. Yeah. Caviar on a lace chip is delicious. Yeah. Look from fresh on that puppy.

They didn't give a shit about the potato. They just wanted to do it and have a moment and they passed their test. They were correct. Do put ice in that croft if you're going to serve caviar because it makes no sense with it being in some kind of indoor skydiving chamber. You know what I mean? That just doesn't make any sense. Matthew, the real bitch of the episode, says that he needs some more flatware and just

who says that? Who says flatware? Also, here's my question, Matthew. One, here's what, there's no way that two mere whoever set this table up misjudged the number of people that were going to sit down. So what piece of flatware, Matthew, do you need another one of that everybody else doesn't.

We need to make room for that potato, but they were also correct in that good service means plate clearing. It just does, that's what good service is. You clear plates. I agree. Five stars. You don't have calamari and meatballs on the same plate

as you have the other thing you're eating. Which is guacamole. So Lily is getting better and she is doing laundry really good. Pat, big meanwhile. Meanwhile. That was not framed correctly. I was wondering if you had one. Oh, the department heads discussed dinner.

Lucas happy to know to me is on top of things because she had ordered that the local Brazilian dancers would need to be coordinated their pick up. Right. Exactly. Meanwhile, Sandy is loving the deck team and she thinks Lucas a great leader. Yeah. And meanwhile, the crew prepares for dinner. Yeah. And Max is exiting the galley in a way that Jim Kerry would in one of those stupid pet detective movies. Sidebar, Jim Kerry. Yeah. Was in two movies a year for the first 20 years that I was on the earth. It kind of disappeared. Yeah, he was, you know what did it, it was that movie where he was crazed and riding in

the diary a lot. Oh, 23. The number 23. The number 23, yeah. I loved him, yeah. I loved him, Carrie. I think that was like kind of, we didn't see Jim Carrie a lot after that.

Yeah, he slowed down, definitely. He slowed down a bit. But everybody go watch Liar Liar because boy oh boy. Yeah, that's definitely how it is. Just a classic, you know, absolute classic. But dinner is going to be Puccania and Jack says, you know, when he's talking about how his skills with cooking steaks are just tough tough notch, he says that he employs or implores whatever the word is a sous vide method. Now,

Jack, you are a great chef. We've been complimenting your food all season unless it's bad. In which case, it's not your fault. It's just the pallet of people that go on this vacation. Anybody can cook a steak well in a water bath. I mean, it's just set it and forget it, you know what I mean? And I don't know if Pecania is really the kind of steak

that you want to do that too, you know. I mean, this is rock salt and high flame kind of kind of meat, you know what I mean? It's going to be yucca fritters and also dessert is going to be bananas and caramel. And I don't think the guys are going to like it very much. But Kyle is still very much down and he makes a call here. He's at a Robert Frost kind of fork, get up and go to work or continue with the milking. He opts to get in a double a seven kind of tender ride over to the hospital where he will remain for the personal day.

And Jessica slash and is quote, shocked. Yeah. Yeah. Now, I don't really blame Kyle because if I was feeling like absolute shit and these were the people that I had to wait on, yeah, all I ship same community, whatever. I just do not have the big gay energy right now. I cannot fucking do it. Yeah.

So Lili is doing much better. And Luca continues to shove his tongue down Jess's face. Now, Jessica lets us know she's starting to catch feelings for Luca and she's a little worried where this relationship could go. Answer nowhere because as is the usual arrangement with C-rats on these boatmats is the C-rats are never on the same page. Luca views the relationship as a pump and dump and Jessica's picking out rugs for their apartment. Yes. You guys go ahead because I want to promote our YouTube channel by pulling up a comment

about Jess that was just the funniest thing. Oh sure. Yeah, go ahead. All right, dancers are picked up and Lara likes what she sees. Lara lets us know she'd like to learn how to dance from the local Brazilian dancers. And in return, she'll scissor them. Yeah. Good trade. Yeah. I love Lara. Me too. She's just fantastic. And she works so hard. And she can make whatever sexual jokes and comments she wants. And they're fine because I love her. There's some people that can just get away with it.

Yeah. It's we you guys talk about there's a, that how a lot of the homosexuals on the show can just be like, oh my God, you fucking slut, your tits are fucking huge, you big girl. And you're like, whoa. One, you just called their big, you refer to her breasts as tits, and you call their a slut, and it's fine. Andy Dick.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I love this comment, and check out our YouTube channel on the Below Deck podcast. And the reason I pull this up is because Luca is treating Jessica like a CPR dummy.

You know, like it's just really, really quite a shame to see what we're seeing. But Ari Zona, 48, wrote, what the fuck? Why are you guys attacking Natalia? This was from some time ago. What they did to her was awful. Agreed. And Ugly Jessica is one of the worst ones too.

And I wrote, this is an insanely ironic comment. And I wrote, this is an insanely ironic comment. So yeah, get in the mix, comment comment comment. We love to hear from you guys. See what we look like. Okay, so Laura picks up the local Brazilian dancers, like you guys mentioned, they want a scissor. And then at some point, Luca asks, where did they find these women?

And I have quite literally these same exact question. I mean, good on to me for getting these people out of it, because I wouldn't, I mean needle and haystack. Like, I'm a little fairy people that answer the phone, whoever the fuck on all these seasons. They're like, hi there. We have Charderkiss coming in an hour and a half and we need three time assuuses and one trepis artist.

And a genie. Got it. Okay. Yeah. Four double sided dildos. Right. And then all show up. And time. So steak is on its way up. Medium well, the cook that the primary asked for will be up in about 15 minutes. And that's just genius. That's galaxy brain type stuff from Jack and Tumi. Tumi offers him the medium rare steak and he takes a piece. And Tumi and her OTF says, he heard me, he saw the steak and he still picked it up.

Well, Tums, Tumai'sster was the only food available. So I think it was kind of a little all of our kind of thing where he just, he didn't have any other food to eat, so that's why he took the steak. Maybe next time, just send both things up at the same time, if we've got medium-well plus and we've got medium-right, just bring them both up at the same time, right? Because that's just insane to not do that. The problem is not the primary though. The problem is Matthew. Oh, dear God.

I mean, he will really, really flap his evil evil wings the next morning, but you can just see he's scoffing, he's disgusted with everything. Like he eats at Spago on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursday. Now, I don't know if Matthew was on the previous chart with those stabilizers, almost took everybody out. Yeah. But he gets a little thing stuck in his craw initially,

and then it just keeps growing. And what happened? She flicked a nap. Oh, a nap. She flicked a mosquito. They say their dinner is mediocre. It tastes less. And that's kind of what it was.

You know, a loving Jack, but that was probably a 41 pot dinner. Desert was magnificent. To me now knows that people need time. Having seen Lily turn a corner and realizes that firing her probably wasn't the right move because in yachting, the bar is so low that most human beings given two to three days can figure it out. Well, Del, let me break it. It's about character. Let me break down this realization from Tumi because it was quite deep.

Letting her have the time to get better. Turns out a little practice can help someone get better at something. Move over Tony Robbins. Yeah, I see. Yeah, Tony has a self-help book. Tony Robbins, am I right? Yeah, yeah, conference room A. Here she comes.

Here she comes. Do you have your wristbands? We get to Katie flood. Oh my god. She tax look. He's got quite a few plates been in this dent. So many irons in so many fires. He should. So many countries. He's a hot little sexy boy. All over the world. Real quick though though before we get to the glitter party fat guy falls down the stairs and It's more of a slip. It's not a real fall and the primary asks him if he is okay to which he replies I Think so You are okay. Yeah

There's no thinking about it. You're fine. It's nothing to be that about, right? It's just funny. It's just fun. Maybe twist it a hammy. Yeah. When you walked away, you should have known that it was fine.

I think so. You know so. So we get to the glitter party, Max has told to do dishes he is not happy. Kyla's on land for the night and we hit the sheets. We rise for the next day. To another text from Natalia. Wow.

And we get ready for a big gay breakfast. Can I just say something really quickly? Yeah. And Dylan makes fun of the way that I text because I text the way that I speak. or a big gay breakfast. Can I just say something really quickly? Yep. And Dylan makes fun of the way that I text, because I text the way that I speak. Long, long, long. I'm not gonna, and I say to him, what do you use? Hey, what's up?

Yeah. What the fuck is that? Why are I'm not doing that with anybody? With anybody, never text me, hey, never text me if you don't have a reason to text me. You don't do that. These people text so shortly. I would think a reason to text me. Don't do that. These people text so shortly.

I would think everyone was mad at me all the time. When I think it was Luca responded to an Italian, it was like super busy charter. I was like, oh my God. Yeah, yeah, it's not enough. It's a blow off text. Yeah, it's a blow off text. It's a blow off text. So Matthew sits down for breakfast with the gang and Sandy.

And when Toomey tells him the special, he's less than thrilled. Now, in one on one hand, I agree, because the specials this season have been nothing short of pathetic. Okay. But eggs. The special this morning, the chef is prepared in omelet your own way. Think of really anything you'd like to put in the omelet

and the chef. Eggs. Wow. A lot of thought. But he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's He's correct in that these specials have been bad, but he wouldn't know that. This special is not that bad, because what else are you going to make for a big gay breakfast? He just took the pride flag colors.

I was thinking, what do you want, Matthew? That was even more out of the box thinking than I would have put into it. I don't know how much fucking sausages are in my home. Matthew, Matthew, Matthew. Matthew. Cause you can make rainbow pancakes yourself, but your own, in your own apartment. Sure.

What do you want? What were you expecting? You beautiful event planner. When you throw your super impressive big gate branches, what do you do, Matthew? And there are rainbow pancakes that your big gate branches, Matthew. Let's not pretend like there are rainbow rainbow pancakes at your big gay brunch. Matthew, we couldn't get a, a mish that drunk dentist from last episode on. Yeah, come on the show.

Can you be brave enough to explain yourself and your poor attitudes? I would love to ask Matthew, who says flatware, right? Who says flatware? Come on, Matthew. Matthew, if they gave you about at it. Come on in. Speak your truth. Speak your truth. If they gave you about it, come on in. Speak your truth. Speak your truth.

We would love to hear it. His reasoning for not liking the special is really, really infuriating. He says that I could make this at home. You could make a baked potato at home, couldn't you? Yep. You could also make a sausage at home, but those are shaped like cocks. So it's okay. It's just not an okay criticism to Levy at Chef Jack.

You're being a dick. You're being a dick. Yeah. And passive aggressive and it's uncalled for and you are your wrong loose. You lose big time today. So Kyle has picked up. He was suffering from get this dehydration and exhaustion

uh... he says celebrities get hospitalized for that am i a celebrity answer no no so kyle little words of the wise here that is code for trying to detox of a bad pain med addiction yeah no one ever has had enough water on them while they're on tour and putting for Taylor Swift and if Meredith is feeling dehydrated and doesn't have a bath, she'll just have an IV sent to the room. She's not going to a hospital.

Wake the fuck up and get it sent to your room. So Billy does not like the Leechy Martini because it tastes too much like Leechy. But you quick just want to have that really quick. So again, after a little baby Billy was told by mommy to me that you're not going to like this one, it's going to be two, whatever this is that you don't like. Billy, the crust is still on this one. He says, no, I want crust at the time. And then, would a Billy takes the bite and then he, I don't like the crust.

And then somehow Billy is responsible for my paycheck. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to rely on the tips of a petulant, insatiable. Yeah. A West Hollywood gay, one of the worst gays on the planet. Ah, listen, gays, I was just talking to see about this. Gaze are so fun. I love the Gaze.

They just have a better time. Yep. They just do. Yep. But when they're a little bit bigger, they tend to get mean. That's all I'm saying. Much like women. Much like women.

Yeah, yes. Oh, yes. Yeah. Much like men. So, it's Max's turn to be a screaming little whiny pants And again, he he is Not in the matrix with everybody else. He is somewhere else because Why this flip out it's just we flew so high over the cuckoo's nest.

It's, it makes absolutely no sense. So he sees that there is pasta. He does not want the pasta. He begins storming around the boat and goes up to the captain's quarters and says, there's no food for me. I'm going to wait. I will not speak to Jack. If that's what you're asking me, are you asking me to do that? I will not speak to Jack. I'm going to wait. I'm going on a Mahatma Gandhi hunger strike because there's no food. And equally bizarrely, Sandy is like,

is like, hey, I don't like liars. Liars. What are we even the truth is completely irrelevant? Sandy. Sandy. He is spinning out of control. No, no, I'm not. There is no food. And that's how we wrap the episode. Everybody have a lovely holiday. We will see you guys in the new year. Yeah, eat, drink, be merry. But if you're behind the paywall, you got a couple episodes coming to you later in the day. Oh, absolutely. You watch your story, I think you said.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited for that story. iTunes Rating Review is five stars kind words. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tick so excited for that story. iTunes ratings review is five stars kind words, falls on Instagram, YouTube, Tickies, all that stuff. And again, happy new year, Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, Merry Kwanzaa, and all the rest. Yeah, and if this is the last time we're listening

to that, old Patty wants to say, thanks for another great year. Another great year. Ruby's joined the team and we had an amazing year thanks to all your listenership and patronage and all your support. It just felt like a very positive year in my opinion. People always give us shit,

but I think our one-star reviews, despite the fact the show was growing and doubling actually in an audience, the one-star reviews about calling us Dix was minimal. Yes, sure. I think we're doing something right. Yeah, we're doing something right. And also the the Facebooks and the the Patreons and the comments sections are quite beautiful places. We have the best fans. They're so kind. And funny. They're really fucking funny and they're great and it's a wonderful. It's a great community on

their so hotline. So despite the many comments about us saving you from depression and whatnot, we wanna say, you've returned to the favor right back to us. We couldn't do it without you and we're grateful for you. Was that good? That was great, but if you wanna hear us do the end of your Christmas exchange, hop on a Patreon, it's always a fun episode.

Until then, I'm Dylan Sangababai, Pat Sengabai. Later, dudes! Bye-bye. Again, Thrive offers one solution to communicate, market, and run your business. Which simply, small businesses run better on Thrive. Get Command Center for free today at thrive.ca. That's THR-Y-V dot CA. Terms and conditions apply. Free plans have limited functionality.