Another Below Deck Podcast - Winter Mars | The Valley S2 E6

Episode Date: May 22, 2025

Pat, Dylan and Ruby are back to break down life coaches, seeing that girl from Pamona on the show, how pantry doors close, gremlins, gold bars and more from Bravo's The Valley.Patreon - Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcastRULA - Rula.com/BadTV

So Crazy Eyes, I think is piling on right now. Mmm. Unnecessarily so. Mmm. Are they still together? Do we know? Yeah. Oh yeah.

She moved into his home with her daughter. Oh good. Well I wonder if bees live there. Final... Hi, hello, welcome to another BrandsBang new episode of Bad TV. I'm Dill, that's Pat. Great to be here. Ruby. Hi, Dill.

Hi, Pat. Um, Rube, did you watch the soccer game with your fiance? No, Dill, and we were both at work, but we watched separately. I'm sorry for your loss. It's okay. Rubbish game of football. That's how they say. But listen, who cares about any of that stuff, right?

I mean, I certainly don't care. I mean, it's the end of the season. We're in 17th place. Doesn't matter. Just you forget about it, right? The Valley's more important. Well, I would say that it's not because. No, it is infinitely actually, Pat.

I would agree with you there. Two to one, Dill, sorry to say. Well, that's how democracy works. Hit him with the announcements. Oh, Ruby and I are going to be helming the shows. I mean, little baby Lucy could be arriving at any minute, so we never know. So I'm just letting you know,

you could tune into an episode and Dylan's not going to be here. It's just going to be Ruby and I, but you're going to love it. It's going to be amazing. Oh, it's going to be a good time. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be different. Dylan and I play off each other. We've been doing this together for eight years.

Ruby is a great podcaster in her own right Yeah, and we'll enjoy breaking down the game film of below deck and the valley and maybe summer house and then Dylan will I guess if if he has time chime in to give us the The the lowdown on how it is being a father. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we'll do a patreon episode in Somewhere in there, but yes, baby Lucy is coming soon. So listen, um, we have lots of stuff to get into iTunes five stars kind words You know, I remember actually having a thought two weeks out which Dylan technically is or a week and a half out from meeting baby Louis Lucy when Elliot was on the way. I was thinking in this very room by myself I hope I like this thing I said that to myself

this thing being your your human daughter that's right got it and you don't want it yeah okay yeah so uh listen the valley is crazy um you know a lot of people have been commenting that you know the viewership is down and people are pissed right that the The people on the show are so disgusting if there's nobody to root for really and I don't know what to tell you Outside of the three of us are kindred spirits. We're having a great time It's like, it's really kind of incredible. By the way, on a Bravo network, you show me an ensemble cast show of reality TV

where there are likable characters, particularly the Real Housewives franchise. Everyone's just lovable on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me a break. Alec Baskin came out this week. That's the executive producer and creator of The Valley. And he said, don't you worry, we're not making any changes. I appreciate him sticking to his guns. Good for him. What was that thing y'all were talking about this day on the text with the article and being bad? Oh, because somebody from People, a magazine, wasted their time doing a piece on the men of Bravo

and what they think on love. And I think that those editors should lose their jobs. Oh, oh, oh, got it, got it, okay. Yeah, that is- Not really. That's not what I mean. That was a joke and a bad joke. Don't fire people. But also, what I will say is

that I think that every one of these people is the Lisa Barlow, like of another show, but it's just all of they're all kind of unhinged. You know what I mean? So it's great. Was Lisa Barlow really unhinged? I don't recall Lisa. I mean, they're all unhinged, but listen, she was going to call her Secret Service, the FBI, the CIA. You know, I got, I got confused and I thought you were talking about Lisa Rinna, the one with the things and the, and then the mom who has a, it's a bird. Yeah. Lois. Mm hmm. Lois. Um, yeah. Yeah. And that's so crazy. Not a lot of people can say that my mom is a bird. Or that I think my mom shit on my windshield this morning. Right, right, right. Your mom is either a person or dead.

No, but Lois is a bird. Right. All right. Let's get into the episode. Oh, our bumps. Well, I'm sorry. I'm going to give my burn and hail Jacks. Sis. Yeah. See, it's so cumbersome to and hail Jacks. This is, yeah. See, it's so cumbersome to the tongue that you didn't even pluralize.

You're right. I did it. And what is the direct quote? I said it. I want to get my rotten hells. Okay. Is it okay if I go first? Yeah, go first. Okay. Ruby and I texted earlier. Are you okay if he goes first? I am Bill. Thank you for asking. Danny and Nia. Yeah. I think they believed that they were going to just come on this reality show, hammer a check, talk about wanting more fucking crumb crunchers and moving to Santa Clarita. And that would be the storyline. No. You are going to pay with a pound of flesh, Nia and Danny. That's because your quote unquote friends will find a weakness.

They will expose that weakness and they will make a mockery of you on national television. And that's exactly what took place here. And I've learned the art of this watching Jasmine. What you do is you keep it simple. You stick to one accusation and you just hammer it over and over and over. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. He touched my thigh inappropriately

and then he smacked my wife, or soon to be wife on the ass, and said go get me a drink, go get daddy a drink. Yeah. She said, by the way, if you drank every time she said that in this last episode, you'd be fucking wasted. Well, speaking of the bingo card, I think that I thought these people were my friends is

a fun one for the reality TV bingo card and we had that tonight. Oh I also appreciated the entire cast agreeing that there'd be no more backstabbing and if they had a problem with the person they tell them to their face. Yeah sure. Which will last about as long as a P. Diddy sphincter in Rikers Island, you know? Uh-huh. They're gonna rip his ass apart. Oh yeah, definitely.

The last part of note, Sheena Shay, and Michelle took that lovely walk on Runyon Canyon, I've done that many times. Sheena Shay, giving marriage advice. To remind the audience. Her first husband was a bloated drug addict through the entirety of their relationship. And then the next husband is a bloated pig

who doesn't speak to two of his children that are living in two separate countries. So, over two. Two different lands. Over two. And how many rotten hells would you give the episode? I'm gonna give it, I still liked it. I'm gonna give it 42 rotten hells. Ruby go ahead. All right I agree with everything Pat said. We are having a great time here or maybe it was you. I

can't remember. I'm high. I think that people who think the show is too dark, go watch something else or get a new network, but don't go to TLC. This episode particularly, I mean, the angry little elf, it wasn't a good showing for him. I think Nia is arriving at reality TV station. She's waking up to what this is, which was really fun to watch. And I actually think a lot of people showed up for work this week. I think Brittany did a good job. I think Luke was like, kind of like, Ooh, Ooh, a little trying to get in there failing, but very fun. Yeah. 54 bumps. And what are you drinking? It's called a long drink. Yeah. Long drink. It's just one of those, another one of those hard seltzer cocktails. It's called long drink? Yeah, a long drink. It's just one of those, another one of those hard seltzer cocktails. It's called

the long drink. Yeah. Did it have you guys ever had a peach pear LaCroix? Peach pear. I don't know if I've sampled that flavor. Oh, I love LaCroix. I kind of stick with the classics, right? I go lemon or clear. And that's pretty much, you know, people get very, very fecocta with their water loose and this one is vanilla orange and it's like what also called the creamsicle yeah so i'm gonna give this episode zero zero rotten hails wow i'm gonna give it zero bumps for one very simple reason. Jacks isn't here. No.

Sheena Shay is. Oh. Zero bumps. It takes down the show. I mean, I literally, I could not, you know, you know what the soldiers on the beaches in Normandy experienced? That kind of ringing

where you kind of lose grip of reality. Yeah. Because of the trauma. did the guy next to me just have his eyes arms fly off, right? Oh, he did Jesus Christ That's what I went through when I saw sheen ashe walking on Runyon Canyon. It was a lot for me So I'm gonna give it zero rotten hell All right, let's kick things off. I believe, with Zack, who I just hate so much. I know that, yeah, it's a very foreign thing to me. I know that he's a gay man, but being in that room with all those women and being not just

in the room with all those women, fighting with all those women about what all those women are fighting about, but kind of being the catalyst for the conflict and the backstabbing. He's a pathetic human being. Uh, there was, who was, someone went on a podcast and explained Zach's trajectory, how he'd always planned to be on reality TV. Oh, did he? Yes. This is his dream. Whatever why I speak about an actual human being so disparagingly, it should always be framed as their current state, right?

People change, people grow. Yeah. So Zach could become not pathetic. But who knows? He could, and I could join the WNBA. So keep your hopes up. No, I think it's different. Anyone can dream.

Well, we begin the episode with the entire cast, or almost the entire cast, given Nia the full court press. They really wanted to admit that her husband is a goddamn drunk. And he is. Fair enough. Now, Jazz. Can I ask you two, you guys are married. There is,

they're basically saying we are mad at you because you are not saying my husband is a blackout drunk right now. Are you allowed to say that about your husband or your wife? No, no. Are you supposed to? Okay. I think we'll, we'll break the whole thing down, but, but Nia is protective of him and slightly delusional about it because it's quite a painful thing to stare in the face. Well, he's a breadwinner too, you know, living in that really nice condo. Well, Jasmine is upset and I think this will answer Ruby's question because Brittany has allowed her life and her verbally abusive coke addicted husband to be exposed

For all of us to see and then we got dark side Danny that little guy Yeah, and he's a fucking drunk and it's the least Nia can do for the show to say it out loud I I want to defend Nia a little bit when we contrast her You know her openness to Britney's, one could say that, yeah, Britney clearly wins. But that's a little bit like if you have a mole on your rib cage or a Fred Savage kind of mole on your lip, OK?

What choice does Britney have but to be open? She's married to a coke addict who is running around, leaving little breadcrumbs around, and screaming on camera. He loves the camera. He loves the camera. So it's a completely different thing. It is, but you showed up on a reality show. So the deal is, and we gave Kyle on Real Housewives

of Beverly Hills a lot of shit for this. You're on reality TV. Show us your life. She needs to get with the program sister. She says, why are my friends talking about me behind my back? Nia, they're not your friends. They are, these are amoral fixtures in your life and are actually, I would say, closer to your enemies than your friends right now. So Daniel walks in. Well, the little guy woke up from the dead to find his

wife being pressed to make sure that he's a little drunk and that is in fact a storyline. This is interesting because these two were so protected their first season. They were just like this lovely couple and now season two the chickens have come home to roost and it's time to dismember their marriage. Well we had a little Danny drinking in the first season. I called it out first. I said, this little guy's a drunk, didn't I? Go ahead, Reubs. No, Pat, you did. And I also think that it's worth noting, maybe it was very late in the season

that we got the outlander drunk, him leaving dinner. So I think perhaps people thought, or they saw us getting annoyed with them. And we want to see their cracks. And now we are seeing their their crevasses. And I think it's pretty bad. I also think that Nia, like, I don't think that she can really do anything else other than be like, yeah, he was drunk. And then she diffuses everyone's ammo.

And it's kind of like, yell at me now. I kind of agree. She is so beautiful. Oh my God. I mean, my wife is sexually attracted. I'm not talking about like, oh, Zendaya is beautiful. I'm talking about like, I think my wife would leave me for Nia. For her, she's very pretty. I mean, it's nuts. So Danny walks in, he obviously has wife would leave me for her. She's very pretty.

I mean, it's nuts. So Danny walks in, he obviously has no clue what's going on. He's very confused. And that's because he has just woken up from a blackout. It's confused. Been there, buddy. Pat, you have small children. This is the type of thing that people wake up

from when they are age two to five and they've been asleep in a car after a day at the beach. I will never know this rest. We will never have that rest again. And good for Danny, you little drunk. Big, big nap. Now I have a Danny story that took place last summer when I had agreed that I was gonna cut down on drinking.

My wife and I took a trip to Sylvain. We met another couple up there. I proceeded to drink all day, knowing that we had reservations at a Michel to Sylvain. We met another couple up there. I proceeded to drink all day knowing that we had reservations at a Michelin star rated restaurant at seven o'clock. Five o'clock comes around. I am completely blacked out. I lay down on the pillow in the bed to be woken up with my wife kicking me and pushing me telling me hurry up, get up. And I was basically black out that entire dinner and she mocked me, made me know how disappointed she was in me the next day and the whole time I'm thinking this is my one day away from my fucking kids. Jesus Christ. Right, right, right. So

that's why I defend Danny on this particular night. Yeah, yeah. But you know it's, it's, listen call me a fucking, call me a Puritan, but I'm gonna hold the pretty lame opinion that it is never okay to be a blackout drunk at a nice dinner like that. Well, to be fair, I was blackout before. I was blackout before. Well listen, Danny is a drunk and Nia and him head upstairs and Nia's like, do you have any idea what I just went

through? And he says no. And that's because he was he was blackout. That's right. He's still slurring to it. It's kind of funny. Nia tells him that he drank too much. And his response is, What the fuck are you fucking talking about? So anyways, we move on. We move on. Luke tried to. Luke tried to finish all the ice cream. Oh, but he couldn't even he all he could eat was 10. And Luke is weird. Yeah, that was so nice of him to explain that to the catering crew.

Because I'm sure they cared. Yeah, that was so Luke of him. Yeah, that was very, very Luke of him. Yeah, that was very, very Luke of him now. Janet. Let's the party know that Danny is a little closet tequila gremlin. Now that will come up later. But you know, I just feel bad for Nia because she's got to protect and be loyal to the man she loves. But the man that she loves is a little tequila grandma.

He is but this is what we call a pylon. Okay. Yes. Again, I'm going to sound like a broken record. This you're right. This is textbook pylon. This is textbook pylon. Look it up.

Yeah. Yeah. Look it up. If this was a Tuesday night. Yeah. And they were all just supposed to go out to dinner, and he behaved this way, which he probably has, feel free to attack him like this. Where at an Airbnb in wine country,

if you're going to sneak tequila and be a tequila grublin, this would be the time that most people would say, that's okay. Yeah, I- Now, if, what I think, I am, I shouldn't speak for everyone. I'm scared I'm gonna get a story of him being a tequila gremlin

at his son's four-year-old birthday party. That's the thing. And as long as we're not doing it, okay. I think that we've got kind of a bit of a tapestry here for Danny and it looks like hard work, loving father, right? And then, oop, there's a blemish here and it's where he gets all little and blacked out and it happens, I think, like kind of a lot. So anyways, we wake the next morning and everyone heads home and here we go we head out for a little hike With Michelle and Sheena Shay Sheena Shay says that they were watching her old dance videos and

She was like damn and I'm wondering and she was like, damn. And I'm wondering who could possibly give a flying fuck about Sheena Shay's old dance videos and whatever Summer Moon is gabbing on about. I mean, she's four years old. Ruby, go ahead. Okay, so I have an answer to your question. Who the fuck could care the fuck about that?

Sheena Shay. And the only thing we took from this hike was that Summer Moon is already concerned with how old she looks to other people and Sheena thinks that's cute. And Michelle thinks that Summer Moon is a good influence and that's all. Yeah, not happy about it. Well, apparently I didn't know that their kids were friends. Isabella knows winter Mars pretty well. And then I hope Sheena Shay's fat fuck of a husband gets to hand with Isabella.

Gets to hand with her. It's OK. The thing that I was really concerned about is it's so interesting to me. You know, Michelle says to Sheena, I don't know if you heard about what happened in Santa Barbara. And I was confused by that question because Sheena Shay is not there. Why would she know? But she says, you know, I heard, I heard about it and I'm just like but you're not on the show So why are you here about it? And I don't want you to hear about it I want you to go to a black site somewhere They better not Brock better not show up on the show

Oh, he's a hundred percent gonna show up on maybe the finale now something really important takes place in this little hike Okay, cuz they set these things up this kind of blew my mind although I'm not surprised crazy guys they discuss Aaron and Michelle mentions Jesse calling her a hooker yeah reasonably prized reasonably price prostitute this really got on to Aaron's skin and rather than punch Jesse in the face he's just telling Michelle He doesn't think he can handle this. He might need to take off Yeah, which is great because he's been telling Isabel that he loves her for right now two men in her life can disappoint her

Yeah, I I love the the level of commitment to Michelle, you know, uh the level of commitment to Michelle, you know. It's getting a little nuts for me, so I'm gonna have to head out. I don't think that he's really suffering any of the consequences of this. I mean, perhaps the girlfriend who's having sex with old guys from Baywatch from the 90s is litigating against his honey company,

but outside of Michelle just being kind of emotionally taxed, I don't know what he's really dealing with. So crazy eyes, I think is piling on right now. Unnecessarily so. Are they still together? Do we know? Yeah. Oh, yeah, she moved into his home with her daughter. Oh, good. I wonder if bees live there. Final, final thing to say about this is that she initiates sunglasses are stupid.

Okay. All right, let's get to Jazzy's house. This is my favorite part of the episode. Yeah. Favorite part. This is a great episode. I know I gave it zero bumps, but. Okay, I just have to start the scene off by saying,

and this may be too deep of a cut for you too but you also may know this man is the equivalent to the character that Katherine Hahn plays in Kate Hudson's apartment when she pretends to be a therapist and how to lose a guy in ten days this man is a joke and he made me laugh out loud I thought it was amazing okay let me break I can break down the game flow. Can I really quickly just wax on life coaches for a second? Oh yeah, they're great. Life coach slash marriage coaches are also awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he comes highly recommended and the beauty about this profession is that we're deserving of it right now because we're not in a good spot culturally. So, life coaches need to do two things.

They need to exercise and they need to regurgitate self-help books, okay? If you are in shape and can do that successfully, you can siphon away millions of dollars from people who are either too busy or too stupid to care. And that is exactly what this guy is. Yeah, I will say. So Scott, the marriage coach slash life coach, he shows up in a, Jesse hired him after he

did such a great job with marriage counseling. It's worth pointing out. Yeah. And then they get right into it because you know you just dig into the guts of what's going on. You know that's such a good point. You you wonder you know where the retention is coming from. What is motivating the retention? Because the marriage is not going well. No. I would say it's not even a marriage anymore. Not anymore. So let's, I don't know, maybe he's failing upward,

as they say. Yeah. Well, Jesse mentions that Michelle has been projecting, and that's why he called her a whore. And Scott agrees. Yeah, he said it's a nasty little play in a playbook. Nasty little play. And that's when life coach Scott lays down a metaphor. And I want you to track this. Yeah. That's what a good life coach does.

They, as you pointed out, they read self-help books and they regurgitate them. Some just fly by the seat of their pants off their dome and they lay down gold like this. Scott, the life coach says, and I quote, Jesse, you are a garden. And water helps a garden. And a seed grows in a garden. And seeds need water to grow. And when your wife has sex in that garden with a honey harvester, the flowers won't grow.

So scream into this pillow, you idiot, and hand me my money. Well, if she's having sex with a honey harvester in the garden, then all of the plants will get all smushed up You know that's that's what he's saying. Yeah. Yeah, you can't grow so a couple Robs any thoughts on that? Well, so then I would recommend that you don't plant anything of like actual that no flowers there No, you know, no food. Maybe just grass there. Maybe just dirt Maybe wood chips to deter them from fucking in your garden. Yes. Yeah, if you're're gonna do that you're gonna get some splinters you're not gonna be happy about it. Jesse says before they get into any of that stuff that he has not grieved whether he won

or if he's right. Which is yeah I don't Being right means you actually lost. Yeah. Okay. If you're winning a verbal disagreement with your spouse, you're both losing. Yeah, definitely. Definitely.

But, but, um, yeah, Rubes, go ahead before I, I. Well, yeah, I guess I'm not married yet, so I'll take that path. But I think that he... The word that you're looking for, Dylan, is disgusting. Okay. He is... No, he's a scowwy, scowwy man. And I don't like any of the shoes that he wears.

And I think that sometimes his pants are too short. And too tight. Yeah. So this is textbook textbook life coach stuff right. So he's exercised he's in shape now he's come over and he is spouting out a metaphor about a garden and your attention being water. Now there is no real practical exercise or application right? What the life coach does is give you the vagary of all of it, right? And it sounds beautiful, but you really can do almost

nothing with it because you... Jesse knows where the end goal is, you know, he hasn't quite crystallized it into, oh, my attention is water and I should spray tomatoes instead of poison ivy. But he knows that he needs to get to that point. What the life coach is going to do is make it all poetic, but really give him no, no way of getting there whatsoever. As a life coach, that's not your job. It's to just throw out nonsensical metaphors and have your client spend the next day or two trying to figure it out.

Right. He does give him one concrete piece of advice, right? And he says, you know, why scream into a pillow? Okay. And and he says, because you're gonna end up doing one of one of two things, my guy, you're gonna laugh or you're gonna cry. And I would like to point out that Jesse actually ends up doing neither of those things. It's important that we got that out.

And it's also important that if you're going to try to get better with your mental health, you do it through an avenue that is not this. Not one of these fecac life coaches you find on, I don't know, Craigslist. Yeah, no, you want to go to Rula, today's sponsor of the podcast. Pat, you've used Rula before. before I have and I'm feeling a lot better Talk about it on a PS. Sorry for shameless plug in the middle of an ad read My wife told me this week after our eight-year wedding anniversary yesterday said I love you more today than I did on the day We married oh, that's because of the work that I've been doing with Rula

Yeah, I mean, you know a lot of other podcast sponsors will tell you like you can have your phone locked away and safe, or you can have better focus or lose weight. But Rula will, if you put in the work, have your life partner look across from you and say, I love you more than I did a decade ago. And that's the most priceless thing that you could possibly get. So with RULA, you can find the right therapist for you in network covered care for most major insurances. You can pay as little as $15 per session, okay? Dedicate quality care to the therapy progress, okay?

RULA is committed to see you succeed and reaching your therapy goals, make sure their providers are carefully screened and vetted, monitoring the quality of their care and helping you monitor your progress in therapy. It's a great company. It's a really really great company if you're looking for therapy and let's say you live in a remote area or you don't, you're not in network at a lot of places around you. Or you want to change your therapist because you're not connecting? Rula allows you to do that. Yeah, 100%. Thousands have already trusted Rula to support them on their journey toward improved

mental health and overall well-being. Head over to rula.com. To get started today, after you sign up, they ask you where you heard about them Please support our show and tell them that our show sent you go to our ula.com Slash bad TV and take the first step towards better mental health today. You deserve quality care from someone who cares Alright, let's get back to the show We get to Luke and Kristen and we close on the Onyx fireplace that is the main kind of centerpiece for their show, their new rental. The first step in Luke's big plan for the future this rental is.

Now Jasmine heads over to the backyard. I got to say, there's a lot of houses in Los Angeles with a lot of concrete. That's too much. I go to a lot of people's houses. It's like, there's a lot of concrete here. In the Well, it's because before we when we used to care about things that mattered, we didn't feel comfortable spending all of the time and resources and money that we do to water lawn so that we could look like the Cinderella story lawn. Yeah,

Jennifer Coolidge has in the opening scene because we're in a fucking desert Dylan. Okay, so enjoy your pool. Well, your lack of grass. Give me the give me the grass. I want the grass. It's referred to as hardscaping in realtor hardscaping. By the way, just saw a Cinderella story two days ago had Ellie watch thoughts. Um, it's, it two days ago had Ellie watching it. Thoughts? It's kind of all over the place.

Is that with Brandy? It's with. It's with Hillary Duff and Chad Michael Murray. Patrick, what are you about to say? Well, to be fair, we haven't finished it. Her ugly steps. I have to say you liked it. I liked it a lot.

No, I didn't. You're going to love the ending. I will. I saw the new movie, Hurry Up Tomorrow with The Weeknd. Oh, I saw a billboard for that. Yeah. How is it? I don't think it's for everyone. Stick to singing. Now Jasmine heads over to the backyard. There's a, what, like we mentioned, there's a lot of concrete. I'm looking at those metal safety bars coming out of the pool and I'm just

thinking about getting third-degree burns when I grab them on a really hot day. It's actually really scary. They talked about Nia and Danny and Luke has a really great contribution to the conversation. He says that when Danny's tired can you not just ask if he's drunk? And Luke is really weird and that's really all I personally have to say about Luke's contribution in that moment. Really weird guy. Luke gets the award for the most unlikely reality TV cast member on Bravo.

Yeah, right? Because I would say just in general, because if you look at, let's say, a toothless kind of crackhead from the Ozarks, you could 100% Or 90 Day Fiance, or Love After Lockout. you could 100% see them on those shows. Luke is in this strange sliver of you don't belong to that and you definitely don't belong to this. So he's in a bit of an enigma. He's a weird guy. It's a purgatory of normacy. Yeah, yeah. You guys are

weird. Luke is very, I think, I don't think he's weird at all Dylan And I actually think that Luke is somebody who I would really want to like me if not love me and he wouldn't he would Hate me. Oh, that's very clear. Yeah, but he's he's the only good person on the show if there's any good people I think Oh, no, I completely disagree with you. I do not think that Luke Yeah, yeah. 100%. Why is he with Kristen? I think that he loves getting in the mess

and I think that he's fucking weird as shit. Okay, so. All right, well Jasmine, I didn't get this conversation. Does she have regrets about going hard on Danny Darkseid or she felt bad about going hard at Nia because Danny Darkseid is such a drunk? Nia.

Yeah, Nia, sorry. Yeah, sorry. Later. Yeah, later. OK. And yeah, she says that it's harder to be in a queer relationship. Not really, but also yes, really, because Danny would never, ever have gone up and done this to Jasmine if she was with a man. He never would have done it.

I don't think. I agree. No, I think that you're right. Or let me tell, let me redirect. If he did, he would have been harmed physically. Yeah. Yep. So that's sad, but we're getting better.

We're trying to get better. Now we head over to the great Kyle Chan. Kyle Chan's got great stuff. No. He has lovely crystal. And he has actually gold bars. I don't know if you guys caught that, but he's just got gold bars out. How does he continue to find himself on this show?

Is it because he just will let his store be filmed at for free? If you remember, famously, she and A'Shay filmed her rock out version of Good as Gold in the shop. Yep. I think he thinks it's advertising. I wrote down, I will not write anything down because this scene does not matter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Luke is going over budget for the ring, but that doesn't matter because he loves is going over budget for the ring, but that doesn't matter because he loves Kristen. Now, Isabella and Jesse, chicken and broccoli

and french fries from the chateau. Dylan. Yeah, we both tracked it. This may be the grossest thing that Danny has done all season. Jesse? Jesse, yeah. It is so indicative of a sick human being to tell

a four-year-old where the french fries came from because they came from where they came from. Could be a little of that although my my darling daughter Ellie she knows where cheeseburgers are coming from. She definitely has her favorite spots. Really? Okay. Yeah. Isabel may be a fan of the Chateau Marmont French fries. Okay. Maybe I'm looking too much into it. Ruby? No. Okay. I don't, I think that he's a dick and probably only tells her when things are from places like Chateau. But I also think that the more concerning thing to me was that we start the scene with his four-year-old picking her nose being a four-year-old and he goes, Isabella, why don't you turn on a little iPad? Oh, hey, Jesse. Hey, Jesse, walk out of your door and don't return. Don't return. Call Michelle, but don't come back. Right.

Well, you know, people need the iPad sometimes, but I want to amend that. I think calling Michelle a reasonably priced prostitute is probably worse than this, but this is still gross. Now, Isabella wants a key. Michelle brings it over and he has a conversation about Isabella always winning. Now, I can't fault him for this. I think it's bad parenting, but I feel like I'm gonna do the exact same thing.

You will. You will. That's not a bad, that's not a reflection on you as a bad parent. I'm sure Pac did the same thing. That's that. Now, Jesse talks about the deep seated anger that he has towards Michelle. It's so crazy to me, Jesse can't get out of his own way. He's a psychologically damaged human being. All Jesse has to do is say calmly once, I'm sorry, but I'm heartbroken and hurt that you cheated on me. And she'll return fire with something.

You know, you've just got to be ready to have a conversation because you've done a lot of bad things too. But just say that and not you're a whore who cheated on me. Because then it doesn't really get delivered. The parcel doesn't get to the doorstep the way that you want it to. So it's rough. My mom at my grandmother's funeral on my dad's side,

they had not been together since 1977 he had put cigarettes out on her arm when she wasn't looking when he was really drunk. He's abusive. Mm-hmm Fast forward 20 years later 25 whatever the fuck it was. I'm at the funeral for my grandma My mom's there my dad's there of course cuz his mother's fucking laying in a coffin Yeah, yeah, and I'm standing next to my mom and she goes God your dad's there of course because his mother's fucking laying in a coffin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm standing next to my mom and she goes, God, your dad's handsome. And then they hugged each other and they were nice is my point. Yeah, love still.

Time, no, no, I don't think so. Okay. Definitely time healed those cigarette wounds. Yeah, yeah, no, time and then the kind of white blood cells and whatever Neosporin, pectin maybe yeah, but he shouldn't have done that. No, no now Brittany has a lot Oh, no, she has a hot chef come over now I clocked that this guy was super hot before the ladies even started talking about I was like my god this guy's hot unbelievable, you know And this guy is he's clearly a sex addict this guy's on. Unbelievable. Gee, no. And this guy is he's clearly

a sex addict. This guy goes around these homes and cooks these dinners and. Dylan. And then he has sex with lots and lots of people. Pat, back me up here.

Oh, yeah. Those private chefs coming in there. Yeah, I'll tell you, taking a woman out to dinner, that is foreplay for sex. So when you're the private chef, you're already in the middle of it. Yeah. It's like really good foreplay, food foreplay.

Now we get ready for dinner with a little caviar service. And Nia is so sweet. She's married to a little tequila gremlin and After Halloween ass grabbing and daddy get me a Get daddy a drink all that stuff that transpired Dia says that her and Daniel are in a much better place and Kristen says if anything if anyone says anything bad about Nia, they're going to have to go through me.

And that is how I feel about Nia. Okay. I want everyone piping down. We've, we've, we've got it under control. Okay. Let Nia cry about being homeless and let's just move on. Okay. Yeah.

Nia employs a tactic here and forgive me for sounding cynical. I know some listeners are going to have a problem with old Patty. But when you are being attacked, the number one thing that you can do to combat that attack is to whip out the saddest story ever, right, you will shut down your detractors almost immediately. Hmm. Except for Janet, which we'll get to in a second. But yeah, Nia mentioned she's been through a lot, not just that marriage

with that little dark side Danny., but at some point she lived in a, in a tent in people's backyards. It's a rough upbringing. Yes. Me. Yeah. It's hard to, it's hard to call someone out for being married to a little drunk when they lay down that kind of story. Yeah. And what I, what I will say too is it actually is fucking remarkable that she is as like gentle and nice and kind as she is with that type of very like people can have that upbringing and turn out very differently.

And I think that she's, you know, a little crazy, obviously, but aren't we all? Am I right? Yeah. But I mean, I need more. I need more details to really put this story together. Was Dad not in the picture? Has she said like, dad left or something? Dad, I think I got it. Dad left, they hopped the fence,

put up a tent in backyard, and then they were kicked out, and then she slept in a work parking lot, and then Danny is drunk. Ruby, you have anything to add? Shed light on that. The first the first thing that I thought about when you said how humiliating is that that you have to be woken up by your your, you

know, security guard parking lot in the parking lot. And like when you see it's Mia in the car, let her sleep. You asshole security guard. Like, I mean, come on my guy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's some fat guy. Tell him you gotta get the fuck out of here, man. But Nia, Nia needs her beauty rest.

Now we get to, and I was confused as well as you, I'm not really sure what this had to do with Danny being a little drunk. I mean, it was a tactic, Dylan. Dylan, Dylan, I'm sitting at that table and I'm the drunk and you and Ruby come at me. Okay, I, I want to do this because I love you. I want to say that first and foremost. Okay. And I think Ruby feels

the same way, right? Mm hmm. I think I know where you guys gone. And before you say we're gonna Well, let me just get it out. I have AIDS Right, right. It was it wasn't a unprotected sex it was through a blood transfusion Yeah, now I'm shut down completely right? That's right The things that I wanted to talk to you about pale in comparison to the weight of what you've just told me Which is that you have AIDS? So but then but then there's a big's a big word in the background saying,

yeah, that sucks, Pat. Anyways, who did the blood transfusion? And that's Janet. Yeah, that's Janet. So this really beautiful moment ends with Janet, who I thought was going to be more evil this season, but she actually is not that evil. And I maybe I'll be the unpopular one in the room. I really don't think that what she did was all that bad. Janet? Yeah.

She, as soon as Nia finishes that very, very, very, very sad story, Janet says, well, I'm happy you're finally opening up, but Danny has a drunk. Well, yeah. I know drunks. I was married to what? Yeah.

No, it was very pointed and very messy. But I will say that, you know, Janet just says, maybe it's likely to hurt Nia, but maybe to help her wake up to the fact that she's- No, no, it's not at all. She just says, you know, like, you know, I kumbaya, I know that you were homeless and everything. But like, you're married to somebody with alcohol problems.

Okay. And Nia is like, No, I'm not. And Nia is wrong about that. She is married to somebody with alcohol problems. Now they go home. And you can tell that Danny has alcohol problems because of how defensive he is when this gets brought up. She's like, Janet is such a fucking big bird bitch. I can't believe she said that. And he's like, I don't know if a fucking drinking bra with the fuck is wrong with I don't know if I can drinking. What the fuck is wrong with her? You know,

I love this explanation of how a pantry door closes. Yeah, yeah. Insane. But also, she's sitting in that bed the first time with him when she's in Santa Barbara. And she's like, OK, you were, let me finish. Let me finish. You were super tired.

You had worked all day. You drove home really late at night and got up in the morning. And she just basically goes through what a day is for people who work and then justifies him coming back and blacking out and then being blacked out. They'll do whatever they need to on camera. He is an alcohol problem. I do not think that it's fair. What Janet is doing is trying to group him with drug and alcohol addicts. And it's like Mauricio fucking a 19 year old. That's like Kyle's

friends are probably saying things to her like I mean I'm not saying he's a pedophile but it's just like I don't know it's kind of weird it's like oh okay so what you're doing though by saying he doesn't like belong where Jax is like that's crazy but it's just like he should examine his relationship with it. Oh oh careful. Yeah he should though because he's poorly explaining how cabinet doors close while he's trying to nip tequila. Now if I'm Danny and Nia we don't need to be spending any time fighting this out. What we need to do is fight fire with fire. They need to start digging up some dirt on Janet and neutralize her. And I believe they will next week. I think Kristen looks to be deployed. Jason, don't judge anybody. Keep your

ring on until then get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. Go to rule of support the show. Support us at patreon.com slash another podcast network for a PS PMC. Lots of fun stuff. Lots of fun baby content coming up. And traders something will be around the corner in a couple of weeks. I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat say goodbye. Bye guys. R.I.B.S.

Bye bye. The heat is on, on the street, inside your head, on every beat.