Another Below Deck Podcast - Worse in Progress | The Valley S2 E7

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

Ruby, Pat and Dylan are back to talk about capris, red hair for some reason, beer cheese, mortgages, the Jigsaw killer and more from Bravo's The Valley.RULA - Rula.com/BadTVFirst Leaf - TryFirstLeaf.com/BadTV

Hi, hello, welcome to another brand spanking new episode of another below deck podcast not this podcast this podcast bad TV this podcast bad TV actually And I am noodle brained. Yeah, you're a little stressed out, dude Oh my gosh next time I see you you're gonna be a dad. I know I can't imagine being in your shoes Oh my god. Why do you say it so ominously? Well, it's it's not thing, it's just a stressful thing. Your life is going to change. Not in a good way. I'm Dylan, that's Pat, that's Ruby. What's up everybody? Hey, what's up bitches? Hey, Del. Hey, Pat. How are you? Doing really good.

Ruby's about to be a grandma. What's it called? So listen, we're here to break down The Valley. That's a show on Bravo, which plays host to all sorts of deep-seated kind of interpersonal ruin and trauma. And that's why it's our favorite show. I actually really like the show. I really do like it. Yeah, we really love it. So it's a fun show.

I do have to say, I don't need a two episode arc of showcasing Danny as a goddamn drunk. No, he's a little drunk, but like who gives a shit? Who gives a shit? We need to move on from that storyline. But listen, we have some great sponsors today. I am going to be on break for a little bit. Ruby and Pat are going to be manning this entire thing.

Actually, producer Kaelin is joining. He'll be stepping in and helping out. That's very exciting. You'll hear a lot from him. Well, he just laughs. Yeah, he laughs. He's got a really good laugh. But we have to get into the show. We got a lot of recording due to today. We got to speed it up. So sorry if this is a speedy one. Because Dylan's heading to the hospital after this.

Maybe, maybe, probably not. this is a speedy one. Because Dylan's heading to the hospital after this. Maybe. Maybe. Probably not. Hey, Dill, Dill, Dill, quiet down. OK, sorry. I'm trying to make it so the audience doesn't get mad if the show is abbreviated, you know? OK, he's going to the hospital after this. I've got to go after this.

Thank you. Ruby's putting on a sweater. I'm going to give this. No. Can you give us, actually, actually though as a family member what are the chances is it like a 60 40 70 30 that you go tonight tomorrow? Real quick. I'd say 50 50 tonight or tomorrow. Whoa okay. Mm-hmm. That's what happens with this stuff. Okay. It's not my call. It's baby's call. It's the baby's call and well it's

the hospital to where the doctor the OBGYN whenever because you know They have to schedule all their quote-unquote clients to bring the babies into the world So they'll shut they'll push you off if they got a game of golf on a Saturday. They'll be like, ah I think she's coming on Monday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they do that Yeah, well listen, we've got the whole gang together on this show and in the studio. We're here to break down the valley episode, whatever it is. I like this episode, but also hated it. And I'm going to give it two pots. Don't really remember what happened, but I know that I hated seeing Brock. Two rotten hells. Rock hell jacks. Ruby, you wanna go next?

You know, Pat, I do, because I'm basically going to echo what my almost father-brother said. Love this show. I love how deeply not OK everyone is. I'm all right. It couldn't be more applicable, because they couldn't be less. All right. And this episode was was not right. It was bad. It was slow.

I hope, you know, the little midseason teaser that we got was promising. I want less. No more Benji. Lala, I want in sprinkles. And that's all I'm nervous and scared. 12. Bumps 12 bumps. Ruby, where do you stand on Sheena Shay and Brock? I don't think that divorce will come because of houses, right?

They have too many houses. Well, I was actually, I meant that, sorry, I didn't articulate the question good. It was pretty open-ended. She really could have said anything after that. How do you feel about them being shoved upon us within this television show? Hate, hate, awful, don't do it, please God. Sprinkles at best and keep referring to them as like Michelle's realtor, Michelle's friend. Okay. Michelle's realtor and her husband, guy who doesn't pay child support. Sheena's a realtor?

Oh no, flip that. Sorry. So forgive me. I don't know. Sheena's a singer or something, but she doesn't do anything. Let me tell you something. It showed how rusty she and Asha has been. At some point, I believe it's Lala speaking with Michelle and Sheena is just standing there and I like not saying anything, not adding, not contributing. And I'm like, get out of here. And then Brock's like, I can have a beer. That was his contribution. It's all right, man. Just throw me one. I don't need to come all the way over there. Just toss it over to me. They are not if this if there are problems with this television program they are certainly not the solution. I don't want them on my television. I'm all right I'm okay. Okay uh the other thing um telling me they show Jax the bar

Jax's bar at the tail end of the episode and I think Jasmine's trying to rip paintings off the wall. I mean it's still a place of business Jasmine. There was nobody in that place and I... Patrick, since its inception that business has not been a place of business. Okay? So error and omission, you're wrong. I am wrong but I am gonna make a prediction. I don't think that bar Last till the end of this season. I went there on a Friday last Friday I was there at 730 now if you drive down Ventura Boulevard at 730 on a Friday people are spilling out of every restaurant and bar on that Boulevard if A grenade went into the bar where my wife and I were

sitting on Friday, three people would be dead. My wife and I and that poor bartender that's making no money because no one's in that fucking place. And hey, three's too many. You're goddamn right. I'm all right. Okay, I already pointed this out at the top of my rotten hells.

I don't like the story arc of Danny being a drunk. We, come on, we can do better than that. We can do better than that. Lastly, Jason, a lovely person, but Jason, do not get cajoled by production or I think more likely your wife, Janet, throwing you to the wolves like that, making an absolute fool of yourself and also very unlikable Zero rotten hells for Jason and this episode. Yeah, Ron Dale, but listen, let's start at LAX Melissa and girlfriend are real friends are going to pick up Zack from LAX. I hate going LAX I barely even pick up Ruby from LAX and she's my sister. You know, I'm so glad you said that Yeah, because the idea of picking up a friend or dropping a friend off at LAX and she's my sister. You know what I mean? I am so glad you said that. Because the idea of picking up a friend

or dropping a friend off at LAX is a pastime in Los Angeles. It's a true test for friendship, I'd argue. I don't care if you live one mile away from LAX, that turnaround is still an hour. I don't think, I will pick Ruby up, time dependent, work dependent. I will never pick up a friend from LAX ever. All right. So that's your... I was going to put that out there. Okay. So I've done this for friends.

I'll pick up family depending on workload and time and never anyone who's not blood. Okay. Ruby, go ahead. Okay. So here's the thing that I have to say, because I used to agree with Dylan until they moved rideshare service to hell. Now I've only not been picked up by my family one time in the last 11 years, and it was six months ago. And I said to my family, I'm never coming here ever again.

I'm never coming here again ever in my life unless one of you can retrieve me, which is a big ask and I get it. So now we know that because if you're coming into LAX, here's what I have to say. Pack a lunch. Yeah. Who aren't picking you up and also make sure you have ample water and snacks. Cause it's going to take you three and a half hours to get wherever you thought you were going period. Yeah. I've picked a friend up and had to end the friendship because the experience was so traumatizing. I want to say this and I'll get off the topic. As you pointed out, it's OK to drop off or pick up a loved one,

a family member or a booty call. If you do not fall into those categories, get your own fucking ride. Back in the day, and this is past your time because this doesn't exist anymore. This wouldn't be a per chance personal story. Kind of a personal story. Back in the day when I didn't have any money, I would get out of LAX and I'd hop in a van

with five other failures in life. Right, right, right. And it would just say San Fernando Valley. That's a big place. It's it's Massive you crawl in with five other losers, right? And you'd get in that van with your suitcase and then you would drive to San Fernando Valley And you would stop at one shitty apartment after another that van is essentially like that carton

Monty-python with all those dead bodies on top of it. That's that fucking van It felt that way it felt like you were slowly dying It definitely reminded you set yourself while you're in that van that you weren't where you wanted to be in You have got to make moves But I want to say that van ride and I had to do multiple ones It did one thing for old Patty had said Patty make enough money So that you can either afford a car or to be able to park at LAX. Listen, a lot of people have philosophical disagreements with the up charges in the Uber Blacks and Uber XXXs or whatever you need to get to pull up

right to the terminal. It's like 250 bucks. I don't care! I'm not going to fucking the West Bank where they have all of the fucking Ubers picking you up. Okay, I'm not doing it. But listen, they are here to pick up, I would say one of the most inconsequential and annoying people I've ever seen on reality television. We've seen a lot of reality. I mean, this guy, it's not hatred. It is. It's a little bit like an ant infestation for me personally. I don't hate ants, right?

I, I think they're kind of cute, but I definitely want nothing to do with them. I will kill them. Exactly my sentiment. It's like, all right. So someone like Jesse, he's on your television screen. I despise him. I hate him. And I want to continue to watch him. Zach. I have like no feelings about. Yeah. And that's the worst thing you can be on a television show. I don't have no

feelings about Zach. I do think he's a disgusting little worm and a sad excuse for a man. I mean, the fact that we get to this rumor later on, and of course it starts with Zach is so indicative of the kind of bitch that he is, but he gets back in the car. He starts talking about his fucking Benji, his hair is is mahogany red for some stupid reason. Like, I gay gay men are supposed to have it together, it together. They're they're fucking, you know, they're either bears, that's impressive, or they're put to fucking

gather. Zach's sack is like. He's got no style. He's like me, I have no style. He's got the face the size of a goddamn pumpkin. Yeah, that head is so big. And when he's talking to Benji's ex-husband directly, saying I'm like, hey bro, have a little tact, huh? Jesus Christ, you witch. Well anyway, they're boyfriends now.

I just have to say, anyway, they're boyfriends now. I just have to say, well, maybe they're boyfriends. What I have here is the Zack and Benji saga dash. I will not take notes on this or dignify it any further. I don't like this. I think this is really annoying and I don't feel indifferent towards Zack. I think that it's actually, again, it makes me mad and what it's gonna make me do is fast forward, like it's a 90-day fiance couple

that I don't care about. Right, right, right. I think that's a good protocol moving forward. By the way, my wife and Ruby were texting this morning about the big reveal of the Survivor 50th cast. We're covering that at Patreon. We're going to do that at Patreon. I might know a few people, but not as well. Mike White is coming back to Survivor. OK. Yeah. I mean, it's going to be great. We're going to do that.

I mean, it's not going to happen. The creator of White Lotus? Yeah. I mean, he and School of Rock, I mean, he was an infamous and famous cast member of Survivor. Yeah. Yeah, he was so fantastic on the show. Anyways, that'll be coming in 2020 what seven six

Two more one more season and then that one so probably six. Okay, so we go back to the white party and Get another little wrinkle. We're rehashing this Danny's a little drunk. All right, so Jasmine won't let this Danny dark side thing She won't let it go. He's a goddamn pig and even though he's apologized 14 times Yeah, that is not good enough for her now I sent my co-host Ruby and Dylan a clip from a season of The Bachelor didn't have any sound I saw that after I don't know why that didn't do that didn't need it later in the episode Jasmine will tell poor Danny that what he did was so offensive and it made her feel a certain way and she's never done that to a person.

Unfortunately for her, we do actually have footage of her doing that to Nick Vile. Not only doing it to Nick Vile, doing it to Nick V file because she was blackout drunk. That's right now Danny should apologize for this and I understand that Jasmine is a hypocrite well Unpacking the severity of it with a different lens that she didn't see it Initially through which was just gross. ew, and now it's a little bit deeper because of the dynamic of her relationship. We talked about it last week, she's right about that, we just don't care. We just don't care. But there is a new wrinkle from Danny that he was on antibiotics. Oh yeah. So

there's supposed to be boozing on that. Oh, I've got I guess we're still on this this that yeah We talked about it this this fucking this airport outfit is hideous It's it's hideous These these capris these non capital capris Bit of a moment where maybe maybe We're all wrong. And he actually does have a bit of some type of fashion sense that we don't get because we're straight losers. Genuinely, I'm not joking.

Yeah. You know, people say like you guys dress like what gay guys dress like three years ago. Maybe that's what's happening. Right. Maybe, maybe that's a Twilight Zone that I hope we're not in. But who knows? I think he looks like a douchebag.

All right. So Michelle and Nia have a bit of a playdate. Nia says, hey, remember when we said we wouldn't talk about be each other is behind each other's backs when I left What did everybody say behind my back? and Michelle's pretty much like Jasmine just started crying again and God that little girl looks so much like Jesse Now then they discuss what a narcissist Jesse is no shit shit. And even Isabel, his own daughter, wants a new daddy. That's gotta hurt.

Yeah, and new daddy lives in a house who also has the bees that live there. Yeah, sells honey. I told Pat, we were out of drinks the other night, and Patty got a little Samantha sauce. He had his white wine going. And I just, you know, it felt so good to tell Pat, Pat has been killing me tell Pat Pat has been

Killing me lately Pat has been so funny on these shows. I mean I could I was like when when Pat said last week I Wonder I wonder if bees live there talking about crazy ice house. I mean my god I'm at the top of my game so funny All right Let's get some smash burgers. The amount of B-roll that we get for Heavy Handed on Ventura Boulevard reminded me of a Triple D segment. I'd argue the promotion of the business Heavy Handed

was Heavy Handed. It was Heavy Handed. Let me tell you something about this. How the burgers are made, how the sauce is sauced. Jason was like, I've heard this place has a great burger. Oh, really, Jason? OK, then I think it sucks, which it does suck. It has this stuff called the secret sauce,

which has been created for dumb people to be happy. It is so gross. It's definitely not gross, but I'll tell you what my palate is fatigued of in Los Angeles. Smash burgers. OK, done with them. You know and also what a racket. Oh I'm so happy you get to cut an actual burger into thirds and then sell that shit. For $11. Yeah. Yeah. Oh no this is new. No, no it's not. You're dumb. Also You have to have a salad on a menu especially in Los

Angeles. I don't care what you are. It could be shitty. You have to have one. It could be a house salad from the grocery store. You can't. You have to do something. Well yeah, the trick about the the Smashburg, it's an ingenious racket. You take two ounces of beef, you smash it down, but you're paying for the bun. OK. And that sauce. And that sauce. That was crazy.

So this is my daughter's favorite place. What is that? Sounds like an airplane. That was an airplane. This is my daughter's favorite place. She loves heavy-handed. She's a four-year-old. Exactly.

She wants the fries from Chateau, but they're heavy-handed. All right, so we we sit down with Jason who very casually brings up the time where he was just trying to have a good times Daniel was and Jason has gone from not that big of a deal to this actually a very very big deal and Jason implies that there is something bigger going on this was very sassy this was very zesty and it was very fucking weird from Jason. Okay, now I pointed this out at the top of my rotten hills. Yeah. He was forced to do this by his wife. Don't agree. Don't

commit so much to it though, because it's really pathetic. Like don't say because I told you to go do this, that you have to do it because it's the lawyer in you. Because then we're gonna throw up in our mouths. When he confronts Danny, do you remember this part? He said Jasmine was traumatized when she saw him take a swig. Bottle near her in her vicinity. She was troubled by it.

Okay, that's a new one. I mean, we go to bars all the time, right? Her freaking out. Oh my God, did that person just take a sip of that? Oh my God, I gotta go home. And he's like, okay, don't look, don't look. Get in the car, close your eyes. Okay, it's okay.

I did, I think one of the best parts about that whole scene was Danny, like vehemently being like, I had a shot in a white clown. I was gonna nap. Anyways, you guys, what in the mother is going on here? I wasn't drunk. And I was like, Oh, oh my god. Yeah. Oh my god. We we get a little Jake in Vienna moment here. Stop

interrupting me. Yeah, yeah, we did that. And then Jason reminds darkside Danny that Jasmine might need 14 more apologies until she can get past this. I want to say this. Sorry, it just triggered a thought. Elliot's birthday this past March, we had inside the house, if you needed to use the restroom or one of your crumb crunchers needed to change their diaper, the door was open

to our living room and on the screen was the Mario Kart, Mario Brothers movie or whatever. And I was standing in there in my own kitchen and I was looking over the living room and a mother walked in and she said, oh, don't look at the screen. And she covers her five-year-old daughter's eyes. Like what was on the screen was like, I don't know, Nazi propaganda. Yeah. And she really made a big deal out of something being on the screen. I got to tell you. I said, I told my wife, I tracked her down,

I pointed at her one night. I go, who is that woman? She said so and so. I said, I don't ever have her at our house again, please. I got to tell you, I'm going to piss some parents off. I'm just going to have no fucking few. I'm just, you know, people have been driving me insane lately Yesterday I was in an office. I walked into the kitchen smelled like absolute fucking death somebody at microwave salmon

Okay salmon, so we're all standing around right trying to find the culprit and this guy walks in he pulls the salmon out of the microwave I go just microwave salmon. I don't know him very well. So, you know, this is, he goes, yeah. I go, it's fucking disgusting. He gets like legitimately upset at me. And when, when I'm gonna set it better, like, ooh, that's gonna pay that. No, no, no, you shouldn't have said it any other way than that.

No, no, no, it is a war crime to microwave salmon in an office building. And I know that this has happened to you many times. Dylan, a coworker named Diane did that multiple times at North American Insurance, and you know what I did to get revenge. You banged your daughter. That's right.

Right, so today I was picking up a bassinet. One of my wife's addictions is Facebook Marketplace, and I had to go, I was standing outside of this woman's house, this fucking neighborhood snoop comes over, starts asking me what's going on. I go, who the fuck are you? What is going on? I cannot do it with like... Dylan, you're under a lot of stress right now.

I think a lot of things are probably triggering you and annoying you that won't after you get some sleep and your baby girl is here. If someone came into my house and shielded their child from the Mario movie, Universal's The Mario movie, I would be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? And I would say it in a joking way, but it would probably get misconstrued. Anyways, I'm going on a diatribe and I apologize for that. Let's get to a very, very special day for Jax. Oh yeah. He hasn't seen his little boy in a long time. And these tears are the tears of someone who wishes more than anything. That he could just do a little cocaine.

He is so sad that he hasn't done any coke. I mean the heartbreak that is running through this man right now. He's talking the talk, but I don't think he's going to walk the walk. He misses cocaine so much. Have so okay. I don't. Did you you did either of you watch the after show? No, no. OK. So so this man is slowly but surely climbing in the ranks as someone who I mean, Brittany says, like, I mean, I hope that he I wish he was actually in real

jail. Same me, too. Right. Because he's he's such a horrifically selfish, narcissistic, untreatable liability. I don't know what you do when you have a kid with someone like that because you can't just divorce and leave them. Here's the thing though, and this is, I don't want to be a dick,

but hey, me, ma, have your walls up a little bit more. Jack's was always like this. You could see these markers from a mile away. And he literally says when we do the montage of their beautiful meaningless relationship that's ended in complete ruin, he says, I want to be with you for a very long time. There's no death to us part here.

It's like, I think pretty long. Now, Dill, if Jax could get help, There's no death to us part here. It's like, uh, I think pretty long now, Dill, if Jack's could get help, I think there's a way that he could be helped. Today's episode is brought to you by Rula. Uh, Jack's really could use some Rula because listen, Rula genuinely is there to help you on your mental health journey. They're not a $30,000 a month upfront,

no refund thing where you get your phone. It's- And you get to go out and shop condos. Wow, what a rehab. No, Rula is as little as $15 a session. And with Rula, you can find the right therapist for you. Rula partners with a network of over 15,000 therapists and psychiatrists nationwide, enabling you

to find your personalized solution and the right therapist for you based on your needs, preferences, and state requirements. I mean, listen to this. What did I say earlier? Patty is killing me lately. He's so funny. He's so light.

Why? Because of Rula. Dylan, I signed up, paid $15. My therapist said what are you here for depression or something I said no I want to be funnier and I think the proof is in the pudding okay it was worth all of that money. True end to end care Rula is committed to supporting you and staying with you every step of the way on your mental health journey from finding the right

therapist to helping you schedule appointments and monitoring your progress Rula is there to help go to rula.com slash bad TV to get started today. That is rula.com slash bad TV for convenient therapy that's covered by insurance. Seriously, if you're looking to get a little bit of mental health help, we highly recommend Rula. It'll help the show out. When you check out, they'll ask you where you heard about it. Please let them know that we sent you thank you Rula for sponsoring the show. Now, Jax, I have a prediction. I think it will be two years

after he's been kicked out of reality TV or the works dried up, you know, and I think that can happen. I think he I think he ends up with some some jail time. I think that ends up with some jail time. I think that- Oh, I can 100% see it. I think that is- A little dewy, a little hit and run. He will be long out of our world.

And we'll just see a TMZ story one day and we'll go, who is that fat guy that's all gray hair? And it will be Jax. And it will be a mug shot. And he'll be pleading guilty. And he'll be getting a couple of years in the clink. Yeah. And look out, because people get real stab happy.

I mean, I heard Tory Lane got stabbed 14 times the other day. Is that right? Yeah, he was in there for shooting Megan Thee style. It's just nuts. I mean, I don't know why everybody can't get along. Let's get to Sherry and Brittany. Quite a bizarre beehive cut on Sherry.

She's been hanging out at the house so Brittany can have fun with her friends. And we get to this new look in the talking heads with Brittany. Brittany's outfit choices are a little bit like Zach's outfit choices, though not as bad. I'm just always unbelievably confused by the choices. Yeah, I mean, a lot of tit. There's a lot of tit there, you know? You know? If you got it.

Maybe don't. Yeah. Yeah, sure. She's having a tough time. So I don't want to talk about her. Me neither. I don't want to say she kind of looks like a, like. So I don't want to I don't want to talk about her neither I don't want to talk about kind of looks like a like a I don't want to yeah. Yeah, that's it. Okay something black licorice. She all right going on there

I have said this the entire time of Jack's is supposed stint at rehab. I Don't know what rehab he's allowed to escape or leave on his own what rehab he's allowed to escape or leave on his own reconnaissance to head back to his own house and mess with cameras, then negotiate a deal to live next to Tom Sandoval. Schwartz, yeah. Schwartz, I'm sorry. Across the street from the hot dog stand. He's making a lot of hay while the rehab sun is shining. Yeah, totally.

I mean, he's given time to go spend time with his son, do a little cocaine, take the playing cards off of the security system, the closed circuit security system that he has installed. And after the playing cards have been removed, he has his phone so he can send jigsaw killer texts about knowing that she's wearing red things. It is crazy.

Wild. Absolutely wild. Now, I just want to say this. I don't want people to get upset with me, but I don't like Kingsley. I think he's stupid. Hey, hey, can I say something that people might get upset with me for? Yeah. I'm not coming for anyone's parenting. If you could avoid talking this type of shit in front of your child who speaks English and like is at an age where he understands like he's not a day old. Yeah. Or like get Zulie and go to the park. Yeah.

I mean, you know, he's nonverbal right now, but his ears still work, you know, so. Exactly. All right. Let's get to the lawless brewing company. terrible right now, but his ears still work, you know, so. He understands. Exactly. All right, let's get to the Lawless Brewing Company. Brand new bar in NoHo. Oh, no, no, no, no, nothing is fine. And also, this is about as good as it gets in NoHo. Yeah, and that's what I am agreeing with too. Breweries in San Fernando Valley,

and it translates to kid-friendly. It translates to big tic-tac-toe. It translates to cornhole. Big chess. And big chess. And lots of kids running around. Lots of kids running around. Now, when I'm a father, when I'm a father,

no air conditioning, very muggy, I might like a place like this. Right now, get me away. Let me tell you something, Dylan. Because Studio City and NoHo are right next to each other, they have found out business owners and entrepreneurs have realized, ah, we got a little business model here. Kids. The parents are drunkies.

They used to come to these certain watering holes to try and find other people to have sex with. They did. And now they have a kid and they still want to frequent the watering holes. Yes. Let's make them kid friendly. It's a new business model. It was not in existence 10 years ago.

It does exist now. It works flawlessly. And you know, we went to LT the other night and I am fine with LT when the sun goes down. That's right. All the crumb crunchers go home and go to bed. And so do the dogs. But anyways, Danny is going through too much for what he did.

Now, I'm talking about Santa Barbara. And listen, like we said, Danny's a little drunk. But like, the him getting the water, the him drinking the water, the adversary saying, nice to see you drinking water. I'm like, listen, I get these a little tequila gremlin, but this is like a lot. Like who did he punch you in the fucking face? Because Kristen Doty does worse things sober on a Monday than this guy did.

Like if he literally, I, this was bad. Yes. We acknowledge that also by the way, Jasmine, we also acknowledge you were blacked out and fucking trying to choke Nick file and fuck him on TV. He was asking you not to everyone behaves badly. We should all apologize and suffer for our sins. Danny stopped drinking water, stop crying. This is weird. I just watched a doc on Brett Favre. I'm like, oh, let's get the dirt on this guy.

A lot of dirt on him. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So the accusations are he was cheating on his wife. Oh, yeah. Oh, NFL. Weird. Yeah. That's a new one. NFL quarterback cheating on their wife. Wow. He sent a dick pic to a sideline reporter. Yeah. He should burn in hell for that. Not saying it's right. I'm just saying. The big Brett Farr thing is the siphoning state funds for a private school's volleyball. And that was four years ago and as they point out at the end of the doc in right up until now no charges have been filed against him for that. Well they should be. That's a gross thing to do. Brett Favre's a gross guy.

I agree with you. I'm just saying. There's some typical male behavior there and I'm not justifying it. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Yeah, it's the ritual killing. I mean, listen, men have had it so hard.

I'm so sorry, you guys. All right, so I think he gets it now and this doesn't, you know, Jasmine says, this happens to us on the daily. And I was like, a little tequila gremlin? A slap shot in the ass that says, get daddy a drink? That does not happen to you on the daily, nor does what you're implying.

But I get what they're saying. We covered it last episode. They are in the right. Let's move on. Hold on. Hold on. By that, you mean, did we point out that they did a different version edit of this show

in Europe and Janet says that Nia is an Al-Anon? Did we talk about that? No, we didn't. Thank you so much for bringing that up. And thank you to the patrons for letting us know. That he's had a troubled past with alcohol. When you're an Al-Anon, that's kind of a big deal. That means you're living with a full-blown boozer.

Well, it doesn't necessarily mean that. I mean, my therapist has recommended that I go to Al-Anon, not because any one in my family is like a super drunk. You know, there's alcoholism in our family. It's me. Yeah, it's Ruby. But I just get really triggered by people who can't handle substances. So it's not necessarily for people that are in, it's usually for that. The main thing is evil, evil bird woman

shouldn't be saying that people are in anonymous support groups. Right, she's an evil bird. She's an evil bird. She's an evil bird woman. So chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp. One, two. I believe the cop out that I think that Nia being like, I was a homeless person when I was younger

and it was really sad. And whenever I was like, what? Your fucking husband's drunk. It's crazy. I believe perhaps Danny being a little tequila gremlin is probably very triggering because maybe there was some drinking or alcoholism in that part. So she's trying to deal with it that way. And that's why she brought that up. Total speculation. Either way, cheap, cheap, no bird woman, no bird woman, no talking.

No bird woman. You can't, you can't say, hey, you know, I heard he's an, yeah, this is not, not okay to do. Yeah Okay, let's get to the Los Angeles loves waffles They go out to eat a lot on this show. Yeah, that's where they talk Yeah, they talk at restaurants Jesse comes to the valley and he gets a chicken breast a la carte and regular fries Which is the order of a serial killer? We get to Danny and or Patty. It's serial killer or Patty I'm saying that order. Okay, so they discuss Danny being thrown under the bus.

Now Christian Doty, I have not figured out what her relationship is with Danny and why she feels the need to protect him, but she does. It's not about that. It's about how much she hates Janet. About how much she hates Janet. Okay, cuz yeah, she wants to Score some points so she creates this baseless baseless claim that Jason of all people goes out and Doesn't wear his wedding ring. I Want to break down the wedding ring stuff? But first I want to let people know that if you're having a party if you're hosting people if you're having a dinner party a

Big one. There's one company that can really, really help. That's First Leaf. Oh yeah, I love First Leaf. You know what? I got my shipment. Okay. This stuff is delicious. Okay.

See, he's been having a little bit of it. Responsibly. But listen, I was, I was in a wine rut. I was like, I'm done with the natural stuff and I don't want to go to lose anymore and spend a bunch of money. Firstleaf has really really opened my palate and my eyes up to the world of wine. They curate wines based on our taste and they deliver them right to our door. We're discovering fresh bright flavors that we wouldn't have otherwise. I had a wine from Norway. That's the fun part is I actually put in my

preferences, I want wines not from America. Right. And then I drank the whole bottle last night and then I had a dream that that wine was the ocean and I was a fish swimming in it. Yeah. And I was just getting to you know absorb the alcohol because I'm a fish swimming it. Right. And I'm just having a great time and I had this long talk with a sea turtle. It was awesome. Yeah. So go to tryfirstleaf.com slash bad TV.

OK, that's where you're going to go. And listen, one of the best parts about First Leaf and having a membership with them is how flexible the delivery schedule is. Whenever you need it, it'll get there. OK? You want old world? You want old world? You want new world?

You want Norway? You want sleepy time, fish in the water, dreamy time? They got it all. I mean, no guarantees that that's gonna happen. No, no, no, no. But, join First Leaf today and enjoy the fresh vibes of spring with wines that you will love, okay? Go to tryfirstleaf.com slash bad TV to sign up.

All right, they're an amazing company. Go do it. Support the show. If you love a little wine, if you love a little us, go to try firstleaf.com slash bad TV. Now let's get to the shark week party. I don't know what really quickly though. Can we talk about wedding rings? Oh yeah. Yeah. I have not taken my wedding ring off for a single thing since it's been on my finger. You sleep with it? Yeah. Oh, mine's rubber and I take it off all the time. Do you really? Yeah, I think it differs.

Does it though? Should it differ? Honestly, I think people take their wedding rings off. Hold on Ruby, here's my thing. I don't have any like weird like tics about most things on the planet Earth. I can't wear jewelry. Dylan, ticks about most things on the planet earth. I can't wear jewelry. Dylan, you've known me for 10 years. People have given me watches and thrown in the garbage. I can't even wear. I can't have things around my appendages. It just weirds me out.

And I told that to my wife, like in the, you know, when we started dating, I don't like it. Honestly, it sounds fishy, right? It sounds like it is in the ocean again. Just like it just, you know, when we started dating, I don't like it. Honestly, it sounds fishy, right? It sounds like it is in the ocean again. Just like it just you need to you need to grow up and get over it. Or I don't care. Be a disgusting fucking gross person. Sorry if anyone listening has this tattooed on your fucking finger. Or or here's the thing, Jessie being like here, then

then I'll just forget to wear my rings when I go to the grocery store. Oh, now you sound like my store. Oh, there we go. Now you sound like my wife. Well, but what's the difference? Because is it not a symbol that, this is like a golden doodle to someone who is like not wearing a wedding ring because you're just a boyfriend or you're just a piece.

Ruby, I offered. To be fair, you know, the wedding ring kind of attracts people to, you know. That's right. I don't wear it because I don't want women falling all over me. Ruby, Ruby, I offered my wife to put a white trash tattoo ring on my finger. OK, and she said, don't do that.

I can't be married to a guy that has that. Well, listen, and Sheree is right about that. I have lost a wedding ring. Oh, that hurts. It hurts, especially if it was the one. I have lost a wedding ring. Oof, that hurts. It hurts. Especially if it was the one, the OG for the wedding day. It was the OG for the wedding day. I was moving bales of hay to feed horses

and all of a sudden, boom, it's gone. When? I was up at the ranch in San Jose, Oh, that's tragic. And now it's literally a needle in a haystack. I mean, I can't buy we spent Literally probably 21 minutes looking for it, you know, I couldn't find a damn thing. But listen, keep your wedding rings on everybody We got to get to the shark party. The shark the shark. Who Dory board was Can we was it shark kudri

That'd be funny. It would be funny. I don't know if it was It wasn't but it should have been Yeah, I think it probably should have been no one's thinking on this show. Zach gets abs all the time fast forward Mm-hmm. Yeah, I was shocked to see he actually did have some Signs of abs despite his face looking like he swallowed an entire fucking jar of mustard looking like he swallowed an entire fucking jar of mustard. What though? Yeah.

No, no. Pat is right. He has the face of someone who takes off their shirt and you like, it's just not his body. He's way more trim than I would imagine. And I'm sorry to say that. I don't know if that's really horrible. Well, the guts all add up. It's the truth.

Including Lala Sheena and Brock. And don't know if that's really horrible. Well, the guests all have the truth, including Lala, Sheena and Brock. And we'll get to them in a minute, but first Jason and Danny have a chat. Jason sits him down and is on the verge of tears almost from the onset or outset or starting line. He has regrets about making a complete fool of himself. Well, not just regrets. He is losing sleep.

He's lost weight. He cannot eat and is in a really bad place. He is almost crying. But they do smooth it over and move on. Now, Lala has a conversation with Jesse. And Lala has a really, really easy position to defend. You know, it would be like, I would say in America, that it would be like, I would say in America that like, it would be like saying

that Nazis are bad. But I get you would have some real pushback in America nowadays. So we got to come up with a different example. Maybe the Cleveland Browns are a bad football team is probably easier than the Nazis are bad nowadays. Oh, I have a good one. I have a good one. Yeah. It's like saying like that that Shohei Otani is cute.

I can't disagree. He is the cutest boy. My gosh. So anyway, she has a very easy position to defend. That being, you shouldn't call the mother of your children a cheating lying whore. You douchebag. Yeah. And he agrees. He says, you know what, that was a moment of weakness. And she is a cheater and is a liar, but she's not a whore. That was just a moment of weakness. I need to clarify what he actually said, because I do believe it is important. He said in his cutaway that she's, she, but she is a liar and she is a cheater,

takes a beat and then says, and I shouldn't have called her a whore. Oh, that's not, so you're, oh my, you and Jax deserve to be together. Yeah, they deserve each other. Yeah, he's not a great guy. He's not a great guy. Jackson, Jesse. Yeah. What do you have to say, Pat? I feel like you're you're champing at the bit. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I agree with everything both of you have said. I Oh, one thought though, I believe Jack's does finally return back to the

show next episode. We got a peek of the rest of the season, so I'm not sure if it's going to be. I think his presence is needed. Maybe who's the guy in the blue gloves? The blue gloves. See that big guy in the blue gloves? That was weird. So anyways, um, Jesse clues Jason in on some stuff. Jason's wondering if he is a racist Republican. Are you? No,

no, no, it's much worse than that. Dylan, he's he doesn't wear his ring to bars. Now, listen, Jason recaps what this accusation is. And the accusation is you try to cheat. Jesse did. Well, Jason summarizes this when he sits down with with Kristen and Luke, who is always weird and always ready to get in the drama. Love him. He says. So you're you're implying that I'm attempting to cheat but I'm just bad at it I don't know that Jason is

Doing anything. I think that he's scared of Janet and as Janet mentions She is not anyone to fuck with she puts air tags on him for his safety quote-unquote And I love that she Janet thinks that she's a Don she tells Kristen that the thing that she needs to do right now is to apologize say that she doesn't believe it and then they can move on as though she's offering Kristen the menu of her her own little Goosebumps book like Janet I don't know who you think you're dealing with Kristen Doty is a live wire okay so there is no preordained steps that she's gonna take

a seasoned veteran of reality TV she will destroy you you are not ready for her and she'll destroy herself in the process, but you will also go down. Oh yes, but she will rise like the Phoenix that she is most likely. And you will, your ashes will be spread too far. You will never come together again. Now, Brittany makes an announcement. She met with Jax at a park. And it looks like rehab didn't take... No, no, no. Quite the announcement.

I mean, that's like. Do you guys remember last year when I said Jax and Brittany were with Cruz at Woodbridge Park and we saw them talk for two minutes and then they both went their separate ways? I think we actually witnessed this interaction. Was it filmed? Oh no.

But you wouldn't. Oh, yeah. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't filmed. I think we saw that happen. Isn't that crazy? Mm hmm. Well, good luck to them.

I mean, I really, I really ship them. Oh yeah. What a beautiful relationship. Uh, thanks for the announcement, Brittany. Now listen, um, I saw an ad for this, uh, for a show called, um, next gen NYC. Mm-hmm. These are the the offspring of some of the most notable reality TV stars. Now I think there's a lot of things we should be boycotting in this country. I think that we should be, I'm not going to get into them, but I think we should be boycotting a lot of stuff. This is probably fourth on the list of the top 10 things

I think we should be boycotting. It is a play of Bravo attempting to attract younger viewers to the Bravo world, seeing as the average viewer is 49 and 1 half years old. I would say that unchecked AI, quote unquote, progression, what with the Stargate campaign and whatnot would be like seventh on the list compared to the evil that this show can bring yep I mean this is a gate of hell opening no one watch this show so let's get to Jack's

is pretty slow night well it's always slow oh no Saturday at Saturday at 10. In the morning. It's a bar with framed pictures of Jack's Taylor. Who the fuck would want to drink in there? That'd be, so. I noticed on the menu when I was there last Friday, her, what's her famous dish that she makes? Mema. They were scratched off the menu haphazardly with a sharpie. No. Mm-hmm. Is it Yammo?

Meemaw? It's so what it definitely is not is Yammo and it is Meemaw. Okay, it's Meemaw's beer cheese and we find out that Schwartz has been talking to Jax and Jax has a mantra that Jax is a work in progress, aren't we all? But we also find out that Jackson has not paid the mortgage on their home for four to five months. Pat, you've signed a Faustian bargain with a bank to get some equity. What happens if you don't pay your mortgage for four months? Well, in California, nothing.

You can live in that house for a couple years. Sick, yeah. So, all right, Jackson's doing fine. He's a work in progress. And listen, aren't we all? Get in the comments, let us know what you thought about the episode. We love you guys. Support the sponsors. Support Ruby and I while Dylan is on a break. Hell yeah. Let us know. Do you think the Cleveland Browns are bad football team will be back next week? I'm Dylan Wren saying You won't be. Dylan Wren?

What? Last name sign off. Okay. Oh, last name sign off. What the heck is that? I'm Dylan Wren saying goodbye. Patrick Hickey. You say goodbye. Later, dude. Ruby Wren.

Bye bye. The heat is on, on the street, inside your head, on every beat, and the beat's so right.