Another Below Deck Podcast - You Forget it Was a Live Chainsaw | Below Deck Med S6 E9

Episode Date: August 24, 2021

Dyl, Nick and Pat are back to talk the epicness of pretzels and beer and puke, why Lexi hasn't been fired, swapping Stalone out for your favorite movie characters, labia thanks to Pat, how this kind of alcoholism isn't a laughing matter and of course Bravo's Below Deck Med.  Video of this episode: https://youtu.be/24p5CmDgr0E Subscribe to our Patreon for our coverage of Below Deck Sailing seasons 1 & 2 and our coverage of Love is Blind https://patreon.com/anotherpodcastnetwork Merch: AnotherMerchStore.com  

When they're having a good time, it's not that fun. You want them pissed and chasing down Captain Timeshare. You want Athena saying, I got a little speck here, can you wipe it down? You want her saying, I want my chair to the top of the table. You want people saying, where's my shrimp cocktail? That's what you want on this show, not people having a good time. Yeah, you want people approaching you saying, did the girl that folds my laundry cook our dinner tonight?

Right, 100%, yeah. Why is there cold corn atop these chips? Something smells like shit Do you guys smell shit? You don't smell that shit? I smelled weed a little bit ago. Check the bottom of your foot. Did someone step in shit? I was really worried that he was going to have shit on me.

I think it's his microphone. Who's been talking into it? I have good breath. Evidently. I do. I have tic-tacs and dentine all the time. Welcome aboard another brand spanking new episode of another Below Deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm saddled up next to one real Nicholas Davis. Ahoy, mateys!

Pat, producer of the podcast over there behind my glasses. Hi, everybody! Hi, Pat. How you doing? I'm doing great. We're almost out of our goal. Hi, Nick. How you doing? I'm doing great. We're almost out of our goal. Hi, Nick. How you doing? I'm doing great. Bad episode. Yep.

Crummy one. PSAs, go ahead. Just get over there to that Patreon and sign up at patreon.com slash another podcast network and join all the smart people that are coming there for our Bachelor in Paradise coverage. Yeah, don't be cheap. There's Bachelor in Paradise over there free or not free. not free literally it's five bucks the antithesis of free and also we haven't been plugging this enough dylan what but we got that wine hag t-shirt from uh our favorite show that we recap love is blind that's right where do they go to buy the

wine hag shirt you go to patreon.com slash another podcast network you can buy the shirt there oh no you go to another merch store dot com. Oh, OK. So as we mentioned, crappy episode, crummy episode, poopy episode. How many knots do you give it, Nick? I mean, Pat. I don't know what I watched, but I believe one thing that was unique was it was the biggest tip of the season.

Right. Right. Right. A bunch of charter guests that would like their glasses filled 12 pots yeah i want to go nine nine nine knots yeah yeah like last week i'm gonna be a little bit generous because uh this seems so bad because we've had such good episodes although they can only hang their head on that uh three would be far too many, so I'm going to be less generous. It wasn't that good.

But some crappy leadership on display by Captain Sandy that we can dive into, which will be a little fun. I'll say 62 knots. Yeah, legacy is not a word that really applies to a third or a quarter of a season below deck. We really have to take these episode by episode. It was not a good one. 12 pot. So we begin with a bunch of soul patched booze hounds,

uh, still aboard who are jazzed about spazzes food. And that makes spaz jazzed. And he's weird when he's jazzed, he gets all excited. And that weird fuck. I want to punch him in the face. When he is that pigeon energy,

when he's so grubulent, I'm like, you're a pain in the ass. Yeah. You're a pain in the ass. Right, right. It's very off-putting. Dylan, simultaneously, we're reminded by the guest that Lexi has left their room in shambles. And any other time, this would be the end for Lexi. But because I'm pretty sure Captain Sandy diddles her dried-up labia to Lexi in between Tony Tony Robbins books, she's unfireable at this point.

You're going to kick the episode off with that kind of talk. I thought it was quite eloquent. Eloquent, you thought? Crass, but eloquent. You thought that was crass? You need to focus on eloquent. I'm on your side. Let's say we get some new listeners in.

They're like, oh, I want to recap Below Deck. And then you hammer them with dried up labia. me it's not true oh my god but say we get some new listeners bury that in the middle of the episode if you say you know that was crass which i disagree with think about it for a minute and go you know what though or not he is right so alexi and katie are sitting at breakfast trying to we have so many shows to record tonight i know but i had a thought and then i let him go. But we may have new listeners who have been like, oh man,

I'm searching for below deck recap content. That's not vanilla. And then they hear him talk about labias and they're like, I am in. Do they have a Patreon? You should have heard what I wanted to call her clitoris. I scratched it out. Can we please?

Lexi and Katie are sitting at breakfast breakfast having a nice chat about the state of the world when like an anvil it hits katie it's my mom's birthday she was so preoccupied with all of her c-rat work that she forgot and this is when we get another page of the dossier which these dossiers need to get lit on fire for the most part they're just horrible she was born on christmas and her mom loves her enough of these we don't need to do well i dig i got something i gleaned something else that mom is fucking old she looks like she's already drinking her dinner through a straw birthdays are really important towards you tonight are tough what i was more focused on uh the fact that how weak her her sea rat story was and i can only assume the fact that they didn't mention her father it's a story too horrific for years that's

right because otherwise why would this woman be a sea rat elephant bone and whatnot she got two presents presents and she's a christmas? That's not how I grew up. Yeah. This is both. So we find out that Malia had a lacrosse kind of jaunt with Oktoberfest. Backpacked through Germany. Saw the awesomeness of the whole festival. Beer blackouts, pretzels, puke.

It was all epic. It was very epic. I don't understand the romanticism of this. It's just so much beer and beef and pork and pretzels and puke and lederhosen and that awful German tongue. It's just so off-putting to me. It's the revelry that they enjoy, Dylan. The revelry.

Horrific first part of the episode. Sandy is walking around looking at the costumes while the charter guests slam down booze and matt makes fucking underproof pretzels i mean the whole thing is just poop so lexi wanders around the boat and walks in on a few charter guests one of us probably bent over a dresser drawer yeah i mean what she said what he said one of the guests was probably bent over a dresser drawer we're know what I mean? What? He said one of the guests was probably bent over a dresser drawer. We're going to China. Yeah, we are because the planes are flying lower and lower and lower. Lexi saw something.

Five-star service, $60,000 a day. Yeah, where do I sign up for this? What if I was beating off in that room? Right, so on this vacation, you will have to remove the Formula 409 from your own room, have no towels anywhere around you, and then... Pour your own drinks. Pour your own drinks and then be burst in on. When you're beating off.

Completely nude and beating off. It's completely inappropriate. I have... Yeah, I also am blaming the guest. I mean, you said she left... Lexi left the room. Oh, well, I am blaming the guest you said lexi left the room in shambles earlier no lexi took some initiative and she was like we need a

second broom closet and she decided that was her space and then she walked into the room and that charter guest was changing in the broom closet that's how you see things i like lexi is not not being fired because of sandy's attraction to her she's not not being fired because of Sandy's attraction to her. She's not not being fired because she's a fucking innovator and proactive. Not enough people see it. So we find out more about Matt. A picture of a sea rat is more or less completed. He was told by his vice principal in high school. Is his name Matt?

Yeah, his name's Matt. Oh, sorry. I've been calling him Pigeon and Spaz. Oh, no. Yeah, call him Chef Spaz. Sorry. We find out more about Chef Spaz. He was sold by his vice principal in high school. Quit.

Crazy to get to the point where the administration of your school tells a teenager, yeah, maybe this isn't for you. It's school. Elon Musk, maybe. Hey, go to Yale. Right.

Matt. Matt. His mother says, make the world your classroom, sweetheart. I like that. I like that advice, though. He then begins officially his life as a vagrant. He went to Mexico to study traditional Mexican cooking, which means he ate Mexican food, because he hasn't pulled out a single chile since he's been on this boat.

He has no idea how to cook Mexican food. He also says that he learned from a very powerful, rich man. Yikes. Yeah, Bob Craft. Right. Bob Craft was getting handies in the next room by a masseuse. What a name dropper, this guy. Wow.

Pulling that one out of your back pocket. What actually happened is he was probably catering an event or a waiter at an event. And over Bob Kraft dropped some type of little droplet of wisdom. He's doing what I... Henceforth, a very rich man taught him he's he's doing what a lot of our people we run into in fucking hollywood is uh some little piece of shit tells you he's a producer in a film but you find out he was just picking up garbage on his set suddenly he's a fucking producer hey i know you were there dude right but you were getting people's

lunch okay yeah yeah if you're at a yellow Tom Cruise wasn't interacting with you right he was putting cigarette butts out on your forehead fuck out of here with this Tom Tom Cruise is a smoker I was just gonna sell I was just gonna say I do not take him for a smoker no no we don't know what he does there's enough as Zinu's spunk in us you know you don't need to kill yourself slowly with I think that's it right Zeno Zinu spunk is bad. I don't know. We talked about it off mic. I'm a little tired for this recording. If I wasn't, I would

have jumped up on this couch and just started dancing around. I know. You usually do have that kind of energy. Meanwhile, Lloyd is told he's going to be the hype man for Oktoberfest. Will he be as good as the babies guys

turn up i get a million dollars everybody guess who's in this costume lights out it's like the five guys walking around the stage to another one of the idiots going lights out your pussy tastes like water put your cell phone in the air lights out if you have aids virus put your cell phone in the air you got any of that nasty shit put yourself on the air lights out all right what we'll find out if he's that good later the deck crew are out of clothes and it's because lexi cannot focus on laundry well don't focus on it. It's a mindless task. You're supposed to be thinking of anything else when you're doing that.

Stick some AirPods under that wig and go to town. Have a glass of wine, too. Listen to an audio book, perhaps Antitrust by Amy Klobuchar. A very slow read. It's a boring read. It sounds like it. But it's changed Dylan's life and perspective. Not really. Not really. No read. It's a boring read. Sounds like it. But it's changed Dylan's life and perspective. Not really.

But instead, if I caught this correctly, because she doesn't like laundry, anything like mismatched socks will end up in the garbage. Yeah. She was throwing mismatched things in the trash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. $60,000 a day. She's Charlie in the mailroom. She says that next charter, she's going to be on service. So like, you know, the lights at the end of the tunnel.

But the thing is, the one after that, you're going to be back in the fucking laundry room. So I don't know what you're... Anyways, she just stinks. She freaking stinks. She's a very short-sighted person and doesn't understand delayed gratification. I feel like I could fix her, though, Nick. You know what I mean?

Are you talking about sex stuff? What are you talking about? I interrupted Nicky. I apologize. I'm kind of curious what you... You're creeping me the fuck out tonight. I was kind of curious what you meant by that. I don't want him to say it.

All right. An entire day passes. Headphones. An entire day passes. Headphones. An entire day passes. Like, nothing happens. 20 minutes. An entire day. Maybe it was like five minutes, actually.

I watched this episode so many days ago. We get to 530, and literally nothing has happened. Sandy checks in once again on the whole Lexi thing, and out of nowhere, like a goddamn magic trick trick says, hey, you want some help? Because I got a girl that we're paying in quarantine. But we'll get to that in a second. Thoughts? Was this when...

My biz bat hosting. No, it's okay. Was this when Sandy comes down and talks to Katie once again about Lexi? Zero clue. And rather than fire the girl that she enjoys slamming her busted up claritas to claras hey what makes a party better than three how about four right right right get the fuck out of here with that i mean it's just i bet it's in sandy's book a sign of a Leader, is inviting redundancies. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's clog this whole thing up.

So the guests are having fun, which is... Refreshing? Not... For this show, it's not that fun, you know? When they're having a good time, it's not that fun. You want them pissed and chasing down Captain Timeshare. You want Athena saying, I got a little speck here. Can you wipe it down? You want her saying, I got a little speck here. Can you wipe it down?

You want her saying, I want my chair to the top of the table. You want people saying, where's my fricking shrimp cocktail? That's what you want on this show. Not people having a good time. You want people approaching you saying, did the girl that folds my laundry cook our dinner tonight? Right. A hundred percent. Yeah.

Why is there cold corn atop these chips? That's what you want on this show. Why is there cold corn atop these chips? That's what you want on the show. So Captain Sandy joins in on the revelry because, you know. Camera time. Not a lot to do. It's nighttime.

Boat's parked. And that's when Katie, who is such a benevolent leader, tells Courtney to swap out for a little bit so that Lexi can kind of experience the revelry. Because she's been in the bowels of the boat all day. And like the hit dog that she is, shies away from the offer because she thinks that she is being attacked. She thinks that there is some scheme being hatched. It's just like when Chewie... To saddle her with all of the work of cleanup. It's just like when Chewie walks past a broom or a mop i i

believe his first family beat him he cowers he won't even walk past if it's in a hallway we're just trying to wipe up chew that's it we're just trying to dust nick had the same thing i had a dog named athena you picked up a remote control to change the fucking channel she ran into the corner of the room you had a dog named athena we had a charter guest why didn't you change the dog's name because it came with that name i didn't want to change it we had a charter guest named athena and you didn't that that right you didn't bring that up how'd this not come up you really buried the lead how many legs did it have all four but she just passed because during the split she went with my ex-girlfriend, and I do creep on my ex-girlfriend on Facebook, and she announced just two months ago that Athena had passed.

I'm sorry to hear that. Just a couple weeks after Zeus. You can hear. Her best friend. Also a chihuahua. Can't be true. Can't be true. It's 100% true.

There's a chihuahua named Athena? I can't think of a more repulsive animal. A chihuahua. They're disgusting creatures. Sorry if anybody owns them, but they're just, they're aggressive, they're bug-eyed,

they're little, they, it's just, there's nothing good about it. I feel the same way about turkeys. You can hear more about Pat's Facebook adventures at another,

patreon.com slash another podcast network. Following up with strangers from the past on Facebook. I wasn't following up, I'm i'm creeping well you reach out to them though no anyways um so uh another meanwhile meanwhile david is still crushing on malia and longing for human touch i think he should open his prospects up to a guy or a girl you're wrong you you guys are wrong about this you don't have the gaydar that I have. I,

like, fool me twice, I guess, if I'm wrong or whatever. I don't know the saying, but, That's it. I'm telling you,

David and Lloyd are meant to be. Oh, wow, great call. It's insane. They're right in front of each other's faces. Sometimes you don't know what you want is staring you back in the face. Oh,

my God, they belong together. If you put them on a mountain in a tent, I'm telling you. Some brokeback stuff. Maybe they should go fishing. Can I move on? Oh, yeah. So Z's got a talented throat on him. He slams back that beer faster than Lloyd.

And Katie tells the girls about the standby waiting in the wings. It's received rather well by Lexi, not really by Courtney, which was a huge Suspects type twist, and I mean that. I thought that the roles were gonna be reversed here, but Courtney seems really peeved about it. So do you guys not have any opinions

on this part of the show? Courtney is kind of like a non-cast member to me. She's just there. Well, at nighttime, she turns into Chloe. That's fun. That's true. And she is like... I love her.

She can be leaned upon for a nice C-Rap breakdown, which really shows the point of this show. These are, I don't know, goalless... Do you ever get concerned at our guest booking processes or prospects? Because they listen to the show from time to time. We refer to them

as sea rats. I feel like we hammer it so hard you can't not see the comedy in it. I feel like you could not see it. Nick, I felt like we were going to get Orby's wife on the show but then i think she listened to us and said no way we didn't say anything bad about

her she she's a great matriarch i call the father a husband a a drunk loser um i was wondering court what is the fucking problem here why are you so pissed off about this? And then I realized that tip gets chipped away. The pie gets cut a little thinner. I think Malia should be stepping up to Captain Sandy and being like, what the fuck? Right. They should only split up the... Oh, they shouldn't have to split their part up. Yeah.

The interior should be the only ones... Right, right, right. It's a good point. Like that. That math is too complicated for C-Rex. That's a bunch of variables. Sandy will fumble with a calculator. So, a little wrinkle here about this new cast member.

She's going to have to be sleeping in the same room as Spaz. Yikes. And Z, right? Nope. No, just Spaz. No, just the bird. That seems odd to me always. Guy and a girl?

Yeah. Two different types of sleepers especially Matt he's a sexual deviant so that's right yeah spent a hundred and fifty thousand dollars on sex last year you have to bring that number down if you're going to lie about say twelve thousand and then I'll still think you're lying. Say 12,000. Right? Because you've never had that much money. $150,000. Alright, so dinner is served. Potato gratin, ratatouille,

or matatouille, and rack of lamb. It was a small plate of food. Not enough for regular people, but for people who have been hammering brats and pretzies all day. I think it's enough. The food is at their adam's apple so you can pop a little lamb chop in like that guy in monty python you remember that no you ever seen that sketch i think it's overrated monty python as a comic sketch show no that's wrong so uh creme brulee is the chuggiest of desserts to round this whole dinner out.

It's filled with cream and sugar. That's fine. It's creme brulee. Creme brulee. And it's a 64-pot meal at that. So let's get to the next day. But before we do, let's talk a little Magic Mind. Guys, you know what it is.

It's the anti-procrastination drug, the daily shot that will give you zen hum throughout your day have it with coffee and feel the slow release of a calm calm focus course throughout your day there are side effects galore but more importantly there are actual ingredients like echinacea, matcha, cordyceps. The whole thing is just a magical, magical little bottle, and you can get it at magicmind.co. Use promo code Katie to get 25% off the biggest discount they've ever offered anyone. Go to magicmind.co. Promo code below deck. I said promo code Katie.

Below deck. Promo code below deck to get 25% off. Just to add just a little flare yeah boy you are tired tonight ironically just you saying magic mind snapped it all into focus i miss my morning magic mind because i i got up and left so early and i missed it and it's making me drag a little bit and never again i'll tell you magic mind.co 25 off with promo code below deck below discount they've ever offered deck not katie so the wind is at 16 knots so the crew's got to get on deck and get all hands on it uh more thrilling content from a thrilling fucking episode can we get to the guests leaving um before they do the guests wake and lexi is

nowhere to be seen uh they are rightly pissed and this little malfeasance ruins the revelry of an otherwise fantastic recreation the night before of lacrosse wisconsin's october fest you know it's something like this that like just make sure you don't fuck up the eggs you know the guy says it about matt's cooking and it's a metaphor for the next day you know you've really knocked it out of the park the night before don't let a little hurdle like this paint their you know perception of their entire experience don't let it uh miscolor their remembrance of otherwise a wonderful trip. I love this. People should not be judged by their worst

day unless your worst day was running over three children while you were high on crack cocaine. Are you talking about Caitlyn Jenner? She wasn't on crack. And she didn't run over a bunch of children. She just hit a car with two children in the car. I don't

think he was talking about Caitlyn Jen jenner there's a hypothetical deli that's our governor that's bill cosby's uh lawyer's defense we can't judge him on his worst day in a bad day he killed my kids he was high on crack cocaine have you ever had a bad day? I'm looking for my jewel. Do you guys want to progress forward? Sure, sure, sure. All right, so we're already in the next day, and the guests are making their own goddamn drinks at 8 a.m.

They're vacation drinking, but I think this guy has a problem, if you ask me. Who's that? The main primary, the big kind that looks like it. You mean the one that, like, Gollum walked downstairs when he heard Tito's and tea and ice jingling in a highball? He's like, I could hear it. Jesus Christ. I mean, we know he's an imbecile.

He referred the night before. I forgot this little gem. He referred to the chef as a god. I don't know how you didn't mention that in your notes. It's a simple solution, though, to avoid this. They should have known. They have shirts that say alcohol now. So they should have alcohol all

the time, like a cart, carafe with OJ and Bows Vodka. If they want to order from you to get their very special tea and Tito's, I'm with you. Then they can order it, but there's always something in front of them. It's like a charcuterie board, but it needs to be alcoholic.

Do an ocular pat down. Once you see that these people are violent drunks, keep the alcohol close to them. A trough of it. Make a punch, a pink panty dropper, or something like that. Some type of large vat of liquor for these people. And a drink dispenser and say, hey, it's not that we're lazy. We just want you to not ever be without a glass of something.

Put it outside their fucking door. A 30 rack and a beer bong, and we can knock these guys out quick. 100%. Some shot glasses and some tequila. They'll be gone down by 3 p.m. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good idea. Get them as drunk as possible.

The liability could be problematic because they could die. And a guy just won in Texas a $5 million settlement, sued a bar for over-serving him. Yeah. Unbelievable. How about personal law, your own personal responsibility? The law is broken so often. How does this guy win?

OJ had a latex glove on his hand when he put the glove on. How does this happen? And Texas, they they should the place where torques go to die they're not they're not as conservative uh all right so lobster benny is yeah nick's nick's conservative utopia nick's not a republican but texas is a liberal state so funny no politics so uh lobster lobster is lobster. Benny is served. The bugs are laid out on top of muffins. They are wet.

They are slathered in a blonde hollandaise. Too much butter. Not enough yolk. It was piss, actually. Twelve pots. Disgusting. Yeah. I don't like fish with anything to do with breakfast, if you ask me. I just don't like it.

One beautiful exception. That is the lox big old lox that's more like a lunch item if you ask me no it's it's not it's a breakfast oh i know right but you would have it at lunch i would you enjoy it i like it at lunch you do yeah i don't want it for breakfast though when the sun is high in the sky you'll eat a smoked salmon no you bet your ass okay but not in the morning quick uh apn q a veganza someone asked what would dylan's last meal be locks yeah all right and that concludes apn's uh if i ran over three children because i was high on crack and i was about to get shot up by that beautiful cocktail that cost $500,000. It cost so much. I would say

give me a lox. So the guests depart but not before a little constructive criticism business owner to business owner service was shit. I poured cold pulp into my own vodka at 815 this morning but the tip is absolutely marvelous really quickly though the

answer to this whole we have really bad service is to bring on another person which is leadership at its finest i find it to be very very dumb A couple things. The stew might not be experienced enough to take over Lexi's position. I'm just wondering why Lexi hasn't been fired. And I'm trying to find reasons why. I think, one, because she may not be able to be even as bad as Lexi is, you know, the hiring on this show. But, two, I'll just go ahead and say it. Not a great look firing a black woman for a thousand

cuts on uh the bravo network i just don't think it's ever gonna happen they fired plenty of people so they have a track record of firing sea rats i think they'd be okay yeah shane's as fucking white bread as they come yeah so why isn't lexi being fired what's that why isn't lexi being fired then i think sandy has a new tactic. It's the devil you know versus the devil you don't. She can fire and the new person comes on and then the whole ship goes. I think Sandy is very, very infatuated with celebrity. And I think that being canceled or having something written in salon about her, you know,

fitting into a rich tapestry of racism and nautical industries is something that she's very aware of i think that's a fair point i i also think that's a fair point i do want to go back to the guest uh chewing them out uh because it was business owner business business owner yeah uh take care of your own fucking poodle-y. What poodle dog store? Posh Puppy Boutique. I just thought of something. Did I interrupt you? Yeah, you 100% did. But I'm just saying, if anyone wants to check out their Yelp review.

I just thought of something. Did I interrupt you? You just did it. I know. You just did it now. I know, I know. And my point gets more and more ridiculous, but just check out Posh Puppy Boutique's Yelp reviews.

He really has, he should be throwing stones in a glass house. Their customer service is some valley girl who doesn't fucking, she tells people they're wrong. Tend your own garden, soul patch. There are weeds growing in it. You can't argue with customers on Yelp. It's a know-when situation. What was the thought you had?

The thought I had, and now I'm agreeing more with your hot take. So in the next minute, Captain Timeshare essentially gives Katie the power to fire her. Sandy, you are the boss of this boat. You're the one that's supposed to go up into that place where you sit around, and I think you look on your Instagram all day or whatever, make menu items for your horrible restaurant. Yeah. You are the one who fires and delivers the bad news, not Katie,

but she puts it on her lap. And now I'm agreeing with you because she didn't like the optics of her firing. Optics are tough. Well done. So I'm going to write a blog after the, after she gets fired, like how horrible it was that Lexi was being pigeonholed like that by Katie.

Savvy move. Yeah, savvy move. Tip, let's get to it. Pat, what do we got? This is a weird number, but 23-585, biggest tip ever. That's 1965 each. Good for them, man.

Good for them. I think they recognized that they were subjecting these people to enabling their disease and you know you should pay up for that oh yeah yeah and also if you get to critique someone you you only get to do it if you do tip well check out uh i don't need your critique of me unless you're going to pay me check out um most recent another podcast show on patreon.com i talk all about uh my fishing uh my deep sea fishing expedition the similarities with below deck and one of them was that we had to tip at the end of it we had to tip all the guys including the dude that threw a softball-sized

rock at a sea lion's head uh we had to tip that guy 150 bucks not each oh yeah oh i meant you as you coming out of your pocket no you pull no no it was like 600 bucks for the whole boat oh wow and so i guess they don't get paid hourly to do whatever the fuck they're doing we gotta no captain fred talked all about it the state's taking a pinch the battery's taking a pinch they're all grumpy old fucking drunks man you gotta tip them so they can murder more animals hey by the way you didn't release that episode yet, did you? No, I didn't. I'm going to do it tonight. All right. Can you beep out my buddy's name that, oh, in that same episode, I talk about a good buddy of mine. Right, right, right. Whose roommate who's staying with him on a business trip is banging his best girl. Right, right, right. It's a great story. Get over there to Patreon. You won't hear his

name because Dylan's going to beep it out. No, I think you will hear his name because you said his name 17 times. I know. Can you beep it out? And I'm not going to drop a sensor beep into every single one of those. It's just not going to happen. Oh, man. So. Great episodes.

Those are both great stories. Great stories. Patreon.com slash another podcast network. So nighttime. Nighttime. Drinking. We find that Lexi was forbade from watching Harry Potter because of all the sin baked into it. I completely agree with her parents.

It's an evil franchise. But look how evil she turned out. I'm kidding. It's a metaphor for Christ. You need to expose. Oh, yeah, that's true, too. Yeah, it's a Christian story. I had a thought.

You need to expose children to shit like that so they know what evil is, lest they become it. During this package of her discussing her unable to watch Harry Potter movies. Upright. Her upbringing was crazy. They had some pictures of her as a teenage. She is a late bloomer.

She's very attractive now. I don't mean to be harsh on you tonight. Yeah. I feel as though I've been a little harsh. No, not at all. Why does this need to be said? What you're saying right now. How come it's got to be said? I'll tell you why.

Because people that are ugly in their teens, when they get good looking, they become very vengeful. Yeah. It happens with a lot of guys. The fat, chubby, tubby a dumpy dude that now gets skinny ripped now he's like i'm gonna fuck everything and actually you know he's like jason bateman in american cycle he's banging some chick from behind and she runs out of the room he throws a fucking cinder block on her head down the stairs oh actually it's a live chainsaw oh right right

yeah yeah yeah and you forget it was a live chainsaw. Oh, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You forget it was a live chainsaw, actually. And it was actually Patrick Bateman, but I would actually love to see Jason Bateman in the role of American Psycho. Honestly, he could pull it off. He's very talented. That's why he got $60 million from Amazon. Don't talk about that.

A friend of mine told me a fun game to play. Sorry, it was a bad episode, so we're just kind of trying to hit 45 minutes for you guys um a buddy of mine i'm playing jazz told me a fun story it's uh recast sylvester stallone in movies have fun with that so um and also jason bateman right right but stallone's funnier. I mean, Jason Bateman's such a great actor. Okay, so Lexi is trying to get along with the boys,

and she's doing a good job. And then we get to a little bit more background on sea rats. We get this survivor's guilt thing with David. Forgiveness makes him feel as though he's healing others. I mean, just light the dossiers on fire. We don't need to know this. It's so... Especially this weak sauce moment in time. I want to hear...

Episode title. I want sea rats who have lived a lifetime with abusive parents or no parents at all off the street like a weak sauce moment in time i don't want to trivialize the trauma that he went through but like at the end of a really bad episode i'm at a point where i've got to ask old jacket green jacket oh did it did it sound like i was trivializing? Oh, that was not my intent. Exposure therapy with Z.

He has a fear of birds. His parents, I don't know, threw him in a chicken coop or something. So Katie and Lexi sit down, and Katie gives her the business. She says that they will no longer have ranks, and the tease that we got last episode is also the tease for this episode. Will we fire her? The cherry to top off this steaming pile

of shit. Guys, hopefully next week is better. We're going to get a new cast member. Looks cute. Redhead. Fiery redhead. Go to patreon.com slash another podcast network. Jump in the iTunes ratings and reviews. Five stars. Kind words, please. It helps us grow the show tremendously. Find us on

YouTube. Another Below Deck podcast. I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Nick say goodbye. five stars kind words please it helps us grow the show tremendously find us on youtube another below deck podcast i'm dylan saying goodbye nick say goodbye that was patrick's uh gross cherry on top yeah i did on purpose pun intended redhead uh goodbye say bye later Thank you.