Another Below Deck Podcast - You Wull Nevah | Below Deck S8 E9

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

Pat and Dylan are joined by Ruby Wrenn to break down rams, mirrors, Casino, Man on Fire, six packs, boobs, Long Island Ice Teas, the Eiffel Tower, eyes, ears and more from Bravo's Below Deck.To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code: (badtv) to get free shipping & 30% off your first order.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbachelorpodcast/This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5727246/advertisement

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Today. ["Split on the side of the mountain"] Welcome to the Hunger Games. Run. You seem like a good man, coir-lenous snow, would have been nice to meet you under different circumstances. I'm gonna get you out of here. It'll be an interesting test. ["Split on the side of the mountain interesting test. Coming like a storm into your town.

There's a natural goodness born into a song. Yes, we know. Neither across that run, to evil, or not. The Hunger Games. Only in theaters now playing. She fucking hates Natalia. Right. Also, I said this to you both earlier. They're both acting like they were raped by each other. Yeah. Also, I said this to you both earlier, they are both acting like they were raped by each other. And it is insane. It for Kyle to start to run to to trot away into

the bathroom and say, hearing her voice is triggering to me. And I won't be here anymore. It's here after you, you Kyle, said that she would naivot you nava. Right. Repeatedly is it's like beyond. I would I would completely understand if Dakota fannings character was saying that about the men that captured her in. Yeah, fire. Yep. But Kyle and Italian they're just fighting about bullshit. another brand's making new episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan. I'm settled up next to one Patrick Hicky for Mission to come aboard in studio tonight. It's the holiday season and you know what that means our little house

Elf is here at my baby sister papaya dot girl Ruby rent is joining us Say say hi. Hi So Roob's we haven't had you on the show since Luke tried to sexually assault Margot. So it's cool that you're here tonight because it's not as intense. No, no, no, not as intense. It's certainly intense. Yes, very intense episode. You know, I was listening to Sizzle on the way to pick Papaya da girl up.

And she has a song called Love Language. And what took place tonight was the opposite of that. It's like hate language. Everything that was said tonight is the exact opposite of Love Language. I mean, poison, insidious, deceitful. I mean, we are in a Richard III kind of sea rat tragedy here. And I'm gonna keep rambling if you don't mind for a little bit. I say tragedy, but I don't mean it

because there is literally nothing tragic about the fake relationship of Kyle and Natalia ending. So, with their brother and sister. How? I'm getting ahead of myself. We have some public service announcements to get out of the way first doing I oh, yes, we do okay, so lots of exciting news. I've really how long in town for I love having you in studio a week Okay, we'll get some why you say that like that because I couldn't remember okay, okay? Well, you just get right up in that mic. Okay, Okay, so at patreon.com slash another podcast network, we have season two of Blow Deck Med. We just started doing that.

It's really fun. I've already spoken with some members of the cast on that season. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're gonna come back on to reflect their memories of filming, being Seerats on season two with Sandy's first season. That's gonna be a whole lot of fun for five bucks.

You get one of those episodes a week plus another podcast show where Dilly and I just gab and goof about whatever's top of mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then also on bad TV, we're wrapping up our coverage of Golden Batch or get on over there. It's the water cooler show of the year.

Everybody is talking about Gary. Everybody's talking about Gary. Everybody's talking about the Marvels and everybody's talking about Gary. You know, we just had the Salkon great episode, hilarious episode, go over there and listen to it and then also we'll be breaking down Winterhouse there, but that will be on this feed as well.

It's very, you know, it's all podcasts and it's all good. That's right. So great job. Thank you. Yeah, agree, great job. Let's get into the episode. We begin every episode with thoughts and pots and I want to go first. This is a big one to lay out. So please go first. Okay. This is we're about halfway through the season I think I heard Lucas say in the episode that they got four more charters to go and he was saying that as he was attempting to convince Max to stick around. and he was saying that as he was attempting to convince Max to stick around.

What I've really come to realize is because you can point your fingers at any one of these C-rat crew members. You could say it's Kyle's fault. You could say it's Natalya's fault. You could say it's Tumy's fault. But in reality, and you guys can give your thoughts, but in my opinion, it's all of their fault. There's not a single, emotionally mature individual on this boat. And they're all disappointing, because they're all super, super high school. And to me, being in a management position, I hate to put this on her.

She needs to be a little bit better, because Kyle is gonna do what Kyle's gonna do, and Natalya's gonna do it, and Natalya's gonna do. Now, in the final minute of this episode, it was wonderful. I got goosebumps. Sandy, her now new, no nonsense demeanor. Oh, hi, Captain Sandy. Sit down. It's not a good day for me. Shut up. Okay. You're a loser and you're mean and you're a bully. And I have eyes and ears. That's right. And but prior to that conversation with Kyle,

she spoke with Tumi about Tumi being a leader, whether being on the boat or off the boat. And that she needed to step up with kind of all the gossipy stuff. Tumi nods like she completely understands then proceeds to go down to a part of the boat in Tel and slash Jessica what Sandy had talked about with Kyle. She was basically trading in gossip once again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a good move. To me, I know you probably feel like I'm giving you shit here, but you are a supervisor, and I know this is kind of just going to do that. Oh, I am giving this to you, because I think you're going to give it to Natalia and Kyle. So I just want to spread it around a little bit. Yeah, here's shit. I'm giving this to you because I think you're gonna give it to Natalia and Kyle. So I just want to spread it around a little bit. If you want to gossip, call your mother.

Okay, not your co-workers or your subordinates because you're kind of keeping this cycle of backstabbing going. Do you understand how that works? Oh, baby. That being said, I enjoyed the episode because I feel like we're reaching some kind of end here. And I think that end is getting rid of Kyle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Natalya's already gone. So we may have a boring show after this, but who cares?

I love a good firing Kyle. You deserve it more than anybody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 90 knots. You know, I'd equated to being addicted to some kind of like methamphetamine like hardcore fucking narcotic or something like that because, you know, the times are fun, but eventually, you know, the next day is a kicker. Well, you need to cool down and you need to start paying taxes. And it's not as exciting as,

you know, tossing into strangers. You meet on street corners and stuff and doing hardcore fucking narcotics, but this show needs a little picket fence ism, right? We need, we need calmer waters. Okay. And I'm honestly, obviously not trying to say that the picket fence era of America, the rock well era was one of my, I'm not drunk at three in the afternoon. Yeah. Punch on their wife.

That wasn't pretty. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Ruby thoughts and pots. Um, I thought the best episode was on draper. So good. Yeah. I thought that, um, where have you been for three days? Shut the fuck up. I told you not to talk. Yeah. Sorry. Um, I love. He moved to Florida with his secretary. Yeah. Eighth the Jell-O. Mommy, why are you sad all the time?

Um, I thought this episode was fantastic. I love Lada. I hate almost everybody else. Haley, Haley, whatever. Yeah, great. She's a weird L. She's so weird, but she was Patrick. There were so many moments tonight where I just kept saying,

Oh, I love you so much. I know. I think the people I liked tonight, they shined their bright little, bright little lights. The people I hated were easy to hate. They were black holes. Yeah, I can't wait to talk about that. Speeding, speaking of light, I believe Haley

said at that beach party, something along lines of the, the sun's always over her, but no one's sun is ever in her. Yep. Followed by a casual, you know what I mean? That was an odd way of saying that she's not getting enough dick, but also not enough lifelong commitment and family started. You read into that, huh?

Later on, the episode she admitted that she used to date an anator, but he left her for an art vark. She's a wacky one. That's why she hates them. Aren't those things the same thing though? Well, not to him. So what do I think about this episode? Here's what I think about this episode.

Who was it, was it a system of a town that's sitting in toxicity? That's a record. Oh, but the song. I think it's a song too. Well, oh man, was this toxicity? And my goodness, it is such a marvel to see Natalia and Kyle be mirror images of one another.

It's kind of like if a really gossipy, if a really gossipy ram got a look of him or herself in a fun house mirror and just started getting really emotional and upset and trying to ram the mirror image, that's what Kyle and Italia have been doing all fucking season. And it really came to a head tonight. What an episode. Captain Sandy, Emperor Palpatine, you have blossomed into such a executioner, and I love it. I love that you're just eating Doritos, keeping to yourself. You're just sliding on the on the teak and having a fun time. You're not trying to get people on banana boats and tasting food. This is what we need you to do. We need you to drop the guillotine soon on Kyle, but yes, like you mentioned, we're purging

and it feels fantastic. Four pots. So let's get into it. Pat, where do we leave off? Well, would you have known a Frenchman's desire to join the LGBTQ-ass community? What have sparked such an ugly fight between an Italian Kyle, but that's what it does.

You will never. Nerva. We'll later find out that it was just a communication error there, just the languages, you know, because he is definitely gonna be an ally. Well, anyway, he tells Kyle tells Natalia to take a back seat, and then he tells a repeat, repeatedly, that he will not control him.

Uh-huh. And then you will never. He's still grandiose when he's at the club later, feeling himself. I'm a neighborhood agent right now. Yeah. It's a bad Kyle. Well, anyway, but you couldn't understand the words you were saying. That's right. I kind of was. So what's interesting during this fight, we can talk about the fight and break down the game film. But while all this is going on, Jessica and Luca, they're closing up to one another.

Okay. It's like they're on a goddamn date, and I thought about this. It's like when those dudes used to go off to war back in the 40s and whatnot, there's always a shoe repairman that couldn't get into the military because his ears were too big.

Flat feet. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, flat feet. He's going around there and he's banging everybody's goddamn girlfriend. I would equate Lucas behavior to a coyote that's feeding on the youth of other animals, you know, small dogs and it's Scorpio.

And it's Scorpio. What's Scorpio. And it's Scorpio. What are you thinking about right now? Luca will eat anything because he's a Scorpio. Yeah. So there's just this, it's very, very difficult to, there's this odd thing where I care about the drama that's going on, but we've talked about it before. My eyes hurt because they're rolling so far into the back of my head every time, Kyle and Natalia really do a single anything.

But when they're talking about their friendship, that is when I can see the front of my brain, because that word does not apply to these two. It really hasn't ever applied to these two. They've always been two daggers just trying to stab at one another. Yeah, in between having fun drunk at nights and cozy sleepovers with each other. Well, so to me finally steps in and you've got to give her a little credit here. She leads a bit.

She goes, all right, you need to take a breath. You guys absolutely cannot sleep in the same room. Natalia gets the master and she says, Kyle, you're a horrible person. What is the point of trying to argue with Satan? Right. And she lets us know that Kyle's not the fun loving sassy gay that he pretends to be. And to that I'd say no shit.

No shit. No shit. By the way, half the internet is called them vile. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Which we have not joined in that. You know, I don't like it. No, no, see, that's insulting enough. So we get to Kyle's OTF, which is to no one's surprise lacking self-awareness.

She's backstabbing, she's dishonest, and she always interjects herself in things that are not her business. I mean, this RAM is just, this mirror is in a million little piece, a million little fires are burning everywhere because there're he's talking about himself. How vile he is. He pick up a mirror, vile. The ram is slipping on all the shards of glass. It's getting more mad.

It's die hard and if he didn't have hooves and had human feet, there would be blood everywhere. Okay. So Jessica shoots Luca down kind of. We'll get to this whole budding romance later, but Tomb Raider heads in and Lens is shoulder to Natalia because she's friends with Natalia. And also if she can hook up with Natalia, that'll make it a baker's dozen, which she's never done. She's done a dozen in one night, many times before, and never a Baker's dozen. So go Laura, be the shoulder she needs to cry on.

Unfortunately, you know, she strikes out because Natalia is just being a total drama going right now. She's not horny at all. She's not stressed. Yeah. Stress will take the horneiness of her. Totally, totally. I want to say this in this moment where she talks with lower tomb raider.

She grapples with trying to understand how ugly that fight was and the brother's sister relationship she has. My thought on this is there is a point where people say things to each other that are so vile and ugly, there's no going back from there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And these guys have had at least a half a dozen of those.

Sure, yeah. So, time to block them on Instagram, I think. Yeah. Block each other. Do you remember that time around your butt, Mitzvah, where we set all those horrible things to each other that we didn't speak for a decade, because we're brother and sister?

Yeah, it was hard. That's okay though. That's okay though. That's right. And Kyle, cat up to the teak and they figure out, we should clarify that didn't happen. No, yeah.

Okay. Oh, yeah, see. We go up. That was a joke. We go up to the teak and Kyle and Max kind of figure out homophobia. And Max says, I'm a Telatubby, if you want me to be a Teletubby, he makes...it's not no sense because it's more harmful than no sense. When somebody doesn't make any sense,

you can't make any sense. What he does is he speaks in kind of like psychic weaponry where when he's done with sentences, your brain hurts because naturally you make an attempt but it stings how fucking nonsensical it is. He's just out of his fucking mind. When he's talking later in the episode, my Eiffel Tower is down and that means... Dylan, his spirits are off. Kyle is creating an environment for him where he doesn't feel like he can thrive. And I think that he is an understanding angel

of an ally. And I'm not even being sarcastic. No, I know you're not. And I think he's a good ally too. Well, their beef gets squashed or does it? Or does it? Bum bum bum. To me, heads in. Um, checks on Natalia. checks on Natalia. Um, and Natalia says, with no irony at all, at least you and I talk to one another. The, I will work for you, but I will not be your friend. The fraudulent stink on both, on really everybody, but it's mainly Natalia and Kyle. They speak in pathological fallacy. That is their language. They just that line is this kind of desperate attempt to try to find some kind of allyship and someone you hate. It makes it feel like summer camp. It makes me feel like I'm back at summer camp.

Remember the summer camp where I got bullied all the time with ice cream scoopers? For first sports wrench. It makes me feel like I'm back there. And it's so yucky. It's just the yucky. It is yucky. I think Natalia right there was thinking,

to me can't stand Kyle either. And if we both have the same enemy, we might just be friends. But no, to me is no ally to anyone. No, no, no, no. So Kyle, a perfect example of this kind of pathology. Kyle tells Max that he loves him. Oh, wow.

He says, I love you. Right, but Max doesn't say that. Kyle says, I love you to Max. Why go out of your way to lie, disarm, just say things that never in a million years ring true to anything inside of you at all. It's their language. It's not love language.

No, it's hate language. It's hate language, it's lie language. So we get to a beach cuddle for two minutes and then he retreats to his bunk when I think he realizes he's not going to get any action. No, no, no. And then, Anne is a tough nut to crack. I also need to clarify every time that anyone has had sex

on these shows in their cabins, has it always been really hot? Because she was like, we don't touch me, it's too hot in here. And I feel like Anne is not a person that would be like very uncomfortable with heat. So I think all these sea rats have been sweating all over each other for 11 seasons and talking in those rooms.

That's why you got a bang in the shower. It's not just sweat, it's blood, it's lots of stuff, but that's just the kind of standard operating procedure. Next morning. So we get to a beach day. Well, I've forgotten this is one of those days because we left off at the last episode, because the sea rats wake up,

I'm like, oh, they got to start cleaning up, you know, start. Yeah, the people who are financing the squid games, they got a vacation for everybody. Which by the way, these beach days, they got to stop doing them, they never go well. No, no, no, they got a vacation for everybody. Which by the way, these beach days, they got to stop doing it. And they never go well. No, no, no, they don't ever go well.

Because what happens is they drink themselves into oblivion the night before, right? So their mental walls are down. There are always problems. And then we get to a hair of the dog kind of sun-baked nightmare, which we see in time and time again. Gabby kicking Marcos in the face,

or no, Gabby getting kicked in the face, stuff like that. So it's really great television, and they need to keep doing them, and they should do them more often, actually. I think so too. Every three charters, they should have a beach day. So, Luca says that this morning when I woke up,

I told myself that I would never drink again. He then cracks a beer with a cheeky little smile because sea rats are a lot of things. They are runaways, they are reddulous, and they are most often alcoholics. So, and that, hey, that's a tough thing to beat You know How early they have to get up and all the booze they drink?

Yes, it's hard. Oh my god No, it's the worst one time when I had a really bad drinking problem. I was so drunk I wasn't gonna go home for Christmas. My mother had mailed me a plane ticket. I was like, nah, not today. I just slept in, didn't ever go on the plane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was tough waking up early to get on a plane from LAX. Yeah, you know? It was tough for Hayley to wake up too

and have no fucking idea what happened and being like, wait, what happened? Who fought? Wait, with what? That's how Pat fell and he was like. What did mom say? Oh Jesus. So you're not coming home?

Yeah. Ah, right. Book of a night flight. Oh, moms. Did you book a night flight? I forgot. I was trying to wrap up that story. You know what I think you did?

What did I do? Got drunk. I think you got a little drunk and I think you poured yourself a big bull cereal. You know what I know what's funny? One year I didn't go home for Christmas and I told my mom, she's like, she felt bad, you know? She goes, what are you doing? I was like, oh, I'm going over Lewis's house.

He's gonna have Turkey with his family. I'm gonna be over there today. Yeah, I wasn't. Oh, I got some Ben Lewis's house. He's gonna have Turkey with his family. I'm gonna be over there today. I wasn't. I don't know, I got some Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Right, right. And Carl's junior, I don't know if they still have the $6 burger.

Yeah. I got like two of those. Oh wow. That was the best Christmas I've ever had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's amazing when you are just by yourself sometimes. It's really amazing. Yeah.

So should we take a break and talk about microdose? Absolutely, Dan. You know, the family times the holiday season, you know it. What is it, Ruby? Stressful. It's stressful. What do you need around the holidays?

You need a little bit of microdose. You need a little bit of microdose. You need a little bit of help. Microdose doesn't just help you negotiate conversations about the second amendment with your uncle. It also helps you with creative boost. It helps you with ribs, you train hard. It helps with muscle recovery. Hey, Dale, how about anxiety? It helps with muscle recovery. Hey, Dale, how about anxiety? It helps with anxiety. Microdoses help me a great deal this past weekend. On Friday, I was attacked by three unhoused neighbors

and they threw it rock in my car. I ate like four microdose jellies. Right, right, right. To call me down, that's how stressed out I was. It's true story. And usually just want to do it. But that is a intense experience. Okay, that's kind of the exception of the rule. Just take one right before bed. You'll have the best night to sleep. You've ever had microdose

is available nationwide to learn more about microdosing THC. Go to microdose.com and use code bad TV to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description. But again, that's microdose.com and code bad TV. All right. So let's get to the party party. By the way, Luka in Natalia forego, initially going and for different reasons, Luka wants to stay in his bunk in Max. Max, I'm sorry.

Max, I am sorry, forgive me. Max in Natalia forego, the beach party initially. Max plans on staying on the boat and dry-humping his bed and eating croissants all day. This is again, what are you, what are you actually saying with your words? He's like, I'm just gonna stay home and then he just starts fucking his bed.

What does that mean? I think he was trying to tell us that he was still pretty pissed off at Kyle. Uh-huh. And then he needed a release maybe. So how could that mean that? I don't know, it's hard to remember. You know what I mean?

Real quick before we get to the beach party, Natalia comes out and starts kind of asking Luca about a cheeky little kiss with Jess. Now, I will have plenty to pick on Natalia about later on in the episode. IE sending a text to everybody at dinner saying I need help with my suitcase in the morning, which is a lifeline for a million dollar. You want to be a millionaire, whatever that was, with Regis Filman. They always gave you one thing you could do a call to somebody to help you out, you know? That's what that was. I was trying to get They always gave you one thing, you could do a call to somebody to help you out, you know?

That's what that was. It was trying to get some help, get some people to help her. No, it was trying to get attention. Well, that's what I meant. Okay, are you sure? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It didn't work. She didn't get help. So I'm gonna go with the tropic of cancer. Mm, you sure. Well, you sound like you don't think that's a good answer. Reach. So this thing where Natalia goes up to Luca and she's like, ah, cheeky little kiss.

I know it's not that big of a deal and she may just be teasing him. But she's clearly not. And this bizarre thing where I'm a little I'm a little out of practice with psychology, but she seems to want to have ownership over everything or at least be a part of everything. thing. And this Luca thing drives me fucking insane the entire episode. And Luca does shrink even smaller this evening. We'll have more to say about his lack of shivori. But this, this just betrayal by Luca that she feels is, I'm rambling, but it's, it's disgusting. It's fucking disgusting.

You're in an open relationship with a controlling jerk off and Luke doesn't want any part of it. And that is his choice. I think she's also so because her relationship is so out of control and she lacks such control and ownership over her partner, but she clearly likes to be in the upper hand position. She's using that insecurity to try to,

whoops, everybody else into her control. Not working, not working. At the heart of this, I believe she had her fights in her crazy outburst last season, but this season, I think at the heart of this, is just her insecurity of a relationship with an open relationship with an asshole. I feel bad for her, but let the chips fall where they may.

What we got was the detaillia that we got, and it is nausea inducing. So Jack needs someone to shave his back, and silent film actor is evidently not okay with Kyle still. He talks about exploding, he talks about fucking the bed. This was, it didn't make any sense, but it was just confusing to me that Max was the one that was holding on to the drama of last night. I did not expect, I expected the Frenchman

to be a little bit more water off a duck's back than he was. He's very sensitive to this stuff. Yeah, sensitive to this stuff. Remember a positive reinforcement, that really kinda, you get him in line with that. You some negativity or drama out of me completely crumbles. Yeah, he is an emotional Midget. Dylan. So I think he's protecting his piece quite well and I respect him not going on time. He's grown on me. I'll be honest. He's grown on me. I think in his heart He's probably a nice guy. Remember the first four episodes they tried to or he helped them kind of create this narrative That he's just a lazy piece of shit. Yeah, and then suddenly he's working in it's fine

And then he's kind of a nice guy that's until like all the self-help stuff Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm he's grown on me. Yeah, not me. I think he's mentally ill and I don't like adults that need to be showered with praise all the time so Jack needs needs that backshaped and there is literally no Multiverse wherein it's not Tomb Raider that walks in and does it for him because she is the MVP of this boat Yeah, she is the queen of this boat. She is my favorite person on the show, far and away. We have big plans for her in the Blowdack universe. So, she is the person that I'm talking to,

and that she is Natalia. She walks into someone's bunk and says that she's quitting. It gets jacks, right? Is it jacks, bunk? Someone's bunk and says that she's quitting. It's Jack's, right? Is it Jack's bunk? Anyway, she lists all the things that have made her season tough and it is dealing with the Tombinator, Confusion over her relationship,

Confusion over Luca and dealing with Kyle. These things that she listed are... Metro links and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful, as Eglinton Cross-Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks, and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe.

like a good man, coiliness, no, would have been nice to meet you under different circumstances. I am going to get you out of here. It'll be an interesting test. Come in like a storm into your town. There's a natural goodness born into a song. As we know, we either cross that run into evil or not. The Hunger Games, only in theaters now playing. Go ahead. They're not things that make things hard. They're not things. going to be a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit

of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit

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of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more of a little bit more many different things, or at least she hit the mirror back with her horns. I mean, Natalia is so wrapped up in all of the consequence of the things that she's laying out. Right. But she's speaking on them as though they've been done to her in this psychotic floor routine. Mm-hmm. To be fair, a male shouldn't be standing up and pointing his finger at you and saying the things to Kyle.

Let's get this out of the way now. The honest of that evening is 100% on Kyle. 100%. I know that Natalya and IMO. I know that Natalya and him have had this deceitful Shakespearean bullshit relationship, but the things that Kyle said to her that night, the unhinged manner in which he said them, the triggered big fat baby that he turned into was just across the board unfucking acceptable. So the thing that started this entire downfall was all Kyle. Right. Out of the way.

Which is going to be so enjoyable. I don't like to see people, well but I like to see people get fired. Who am I kidding? But I, and I never like to throw people away. Like, I don't, I honestly, the reason we don't say vile is, well, I didn't come up with the name. But also, secondly, I don't like that kind of name. We have fun whimsical names.

We don't see rest. We don't, yeah, we don't traffic and rhyme so often. If they do fire Kyle, I don't know how old he is. He's very immature. And I hope that he's able to learn from this and grow. And I just, because I saw some posts of just people like let him, I mean, he's on a stupid reality TV show. People say horrific things. Right, right, right. Who cares? And who, why are you fucking in his Instagram

telling him that he should burn and how? Who was, um, who was the wife and casino? I don't know. It was played by, uh, oh my God. You know, there's too many actors and too many famous people. You know, uh, Sharon Stone, obviously Kyle is the Sharon Stone of his relationship. That guy, whoever he's, he's dating or married to or engaged to, is in for a fucking rude awakening because there's going to be some glasses thrown. There's

going to be some tears. There should just, Kyle needs to go to therapy now. Yeah. Now. Yeah. I was going to say Kyle, Kyle suffers from wanting unconditional love very badly, and that's my unprofessional opinion. None of us are professionals, I'm stupid, but I'll say this, I'm gonna go through the top, the three people that are completely immature. Kyle, you need to go to therapy to learn why you're this person.

To me, you need to go to management class because apparently your last class was a school called Fight School, a fight club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's how you need to go to Hawaii. The only role of Fight School is we don't talk about Fight School. You went to Fight Club, managed with school. And then filing Natalia, you need to understand why you're attracted to guys that sleep with

other women and then get to call you the next morning and tell you that they did it. Oh my God, yeah. So yeah, let's say, but this is really, really crazy stuff. Coming from it. In my God, yeah. So yeah, let's say, but this is coming from it. In idiot. But anyway, Kyle's literally having panic attacks about how awful he's being. His inner child or inner psyche is screaming out,

you're being a vulture human being and he's having panic attacks. Also, he didn't need a lot that day. That's right. That being said, we need to not excuse Natalia's behavior. And although it's not appropriate what Kyle did and said to her, the things that she has been doing this entire season to revolting other people, revolting, to do rubbing, like,

that it could just, you see us on another balloon like podcast were spreading it around. Yeah. Oh yeah, everyone gets to everyone's. We're like salt bays. All of us are like salt bays. Yeah. So the quitters head to the beach. Luca and his six pack Luca Put the six pack away. Don't lay like that. You know what I mean? I really do. It's very disgusting.

This shoots, well, Natalia and Max rise, and this shoots Kyle into the bathroom with Tomate. I will never work with her. If she is on this boat. Love the ultimatums. I am gone. It's a cowardly ultimatum because he knows that Tumi is going to side with him. She fucking hates Natalia. Right. I said this to you both earlier.

They're both acting like they were raped by each other. And it is insane. It is for Kyle to start to run to trot away into the bathroom and say hearing her voice is triggering to me and I won't be here anymore. It's used here after you, you Kyle, said that she would nava control you nava. Right. It repeatedly is. It's like beyond. I would, I would completely understand if Dakota

fanning's character was saying that about the men that captured her in the fire. Yep. And it's all yet they're just fighting about bullshit. So take it away, Pat. Sure, I'll do a couple quick kind of meanwhile. So Natalia arrives and she closes up to Luca and she's still confused Essentially why he turned off the vibes, you know, and we can tell you it's because you're in an open relationship with a Controlling jerk named AJ and to be honest, Lucas, too good looking to deal with that bullshit. Yeah. He's also a Scorpio.

There's Natalia's like this weird thing where she's got, she's like, he's trying to go get more pussy and he's thrown me away because he's trying to get more pussy. 100% true and 100% false at the same time. Right. It's a kind of quantum truth where, of course, he is onto the next thing because he's a sex addict and a scorpion. He's a seerat. But your life is a grenade.

And it's going off all the time. There's never any pin in it ever. It's just one big explosion. So he can see that, smell it, and feel how hot it is. May I point out, Case in Point here. Natalia over here is Max and Ann discussing cult leaders and something about starting your day off with good energy. That used this opportunity to burn another bridge.

And this is where she kind of takes a turn where I'm like, Jesus, fucking Christ. What are you doing here? She fucking lets and have it for not getting her back. There's this weird thing where the world that she wants to exist is nowhere near the world that actually exists. And you have to have a healthier way to deal with that. You have to like tell yourself,

oh, maybe I was delusional, but you can't just start lashing at it. I mean, she literally, she goes from thong to sarong to popping up like a surfboard pop up and going at screaming it in. For, listen, I understand that Natalia wants people to have her back, but she has been so awful to so many people that that's just not the way

the world works, especially not when you're dealing with a nest of sea rats. There's just, that's not gonna work, okay? Imagine how confused Max was when she just, he was having this lovely conversation with Anne and then she just fucking walks over and starts screaming. I will say and it's probably because of the abusive stepfather and conflict resolution is pretty impressive to watch.

She was just like, I'm so sorry you were completely right and then it's all you was like, but now I have no way to go so I'm just gonna stand here and be like fuck you for saying that you like energy because you'll is shit and mine was sad this morning. You love them? You do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she does run away and talks about Tumi, Kyle, Luca and Ann not having her back.

And all these situations and they have something in common. Natalia. That's right. You know, so it's, I feel for her, but why? You're just because I think that she's, she was better in season one when she wasn't being fucked with by a, I hope you're listening. AJ, we're talking to you, buddy.

I don't even know what, like, AJ, we're talking to you buddy. I don't even know what, like, I view AJ as like, his knees are bent backwards, like some kind of hellscape demon, and his tight, tight jeans cover that up, and kind of snap them back into place, but you are subhuman, you're a rat, and you will be in prison one day. So, you know.

Okay, it's important, I got the transcript of the phone call. You know, he called her or something like that. He's like, here's transcript, he's like, hey, how you doing? And she says, well, Kyle's being an evil asshole again, who's being horrible, and then you hear, oh, clutch my balls, I'm coming. Okay, okay. Sorry, honey, what about this Kyle thing? And then she says, well, clutch my balls, I'm coming.

Okay, okay. Sorry, honey, what about this Kyle thing? And then she says, well, he's being a jerk to my face again. And then he says, don't clean that off your face until I tell you you can. I'm sorry, what? And he says, oh, what's that about Kyle? Right, right, right. So I have literally the same exact thing.

And I used literally and correctly, because it was nowhere near as grotesque. But what I was thinking was, thank God she has somebody that she can confide in who is getting his dick sucked as she is confiding in. He did take the time to talk to her though. He answered, yeah, exactly. Well, I mean, he was wandering.

He was wandering. So he was like, yeah, you know, he was he was wandering. He was wandering. So he was like, ah, you know, might as well. I'd say they're going to be Instagram or I'll talk to this bitch, you know, my girlfriend. So hearing Chef Samwise talk about the lack of empathy for Natalia. Keep in mind, he's not watching the television show that we are. That's true. Keep in mind, he's not watching the television show that we are. That's true. Right.

I guess this was my no. It just did kind of make me realize that we've covered it. The honest was on Kyle that evening. They've both been awful. They're both dementors. So we get ready and we head out for dinner while Natalia heads home and packs. And we sit down for dinner and, you know, it's a show about sea rats.

So seven long island ice teas are ordered. Don't forget the blow job shots. Along with seven blow job shots. This night is going to be insane. And here is a hailey moment that is the reason why so many people, including, do you love hailey as much as we really love Haley? I mix feelings about it.

Okay, this is why me and Ruby love Haley. She posts to the group of people that she is essentially stuck with, that are not the people that she actually wants to be with, which is the most perfect description of this group of people. And she toasts to them. And they let her do it. They liked it. Again, I don't understand why...

Haley is so hot to me. I don't get why there isn't more. I guess she's so fucking oddballed. But there's no sexual energy between her, any of the guys, it's not saying that she has to put it out. Luca is a scorpion sex addict. I don't know why he's not attempted. I think they sense the, she's a little too freaky, Deaky.

Like, Haley, you're not gonna put cable ties on my ankles. I'm not letting that happen. Right. But that wouldn't even be sexual for her. It would just be for fun. Yeah. Kind of like, yeah, I feel like the only person that could be on her level maybe would be Sam Wise

and they'd be kind of cute together. Yeah, they would be. I don't know. Everyone else is too basic for her. But it's so funny because he goes up to her and he's black at it one point, but he's like, I need to talk to someone and I like, I don't know what's going on. And she's like, I'm confused. What are you talking about? Oh, is this one, Chef Jack was trying to understand, was there anybody that had an Italian son? Right. So at dinner in Italian does the most annoying thing she's ever done. And we've seen a season and a half of her.

Can Luca help me with my suitcase in the morning? This way until he got back or in the next morning just talk to him. Is the thing about Natalia that I hate the most. It's the thing that I hate about melodramatic people in general. The thing I hate about people in toxic relationships, they feed on this kind of thing that no one else traffic sends. So with Natalia's boyfriend, we'll entertain that kind of thing because he is in love

with that kind of bitches brew of just stupid bullshit. But nobody else is okay with that, which is why Natalia is having such a tough time this season. You know also what I love is that she sent that bitchy little tax being like this look at that good fucking leaves them and then they're like cool. Yeah, you can take you can do the laundry right? Yeah, I can do laundry. Yeah cool.

Yeah, is that free up a bed? Yeah, I think it does. Oh nice. And again, this is where you just have to cut your losses because Natalia has to realize that she, to no fault other than her own has lost this war. She's, there's nobody at that table outside of Laura who cares. Lucas, Chef Jack, that's right.

But, you know, Samwise doesn't have any pull in the council. You know, everybody's just like, Frodo, the council, you know. Everybody's just like, Frodo, Frodo, Frodo, Frodo. Frodo, Frodo, Frodo. What about me? Make sure he gets there. Frodo, Frodo, Frodo. So, um, yeah, this text getting sent is just an effort to try to make everybody pay attention

to her, but Tumayates or Kyle hates or Jess hates or Haley is in the stars. Uh, Max isn't the, there's one other person, but you either can't stand her or you have no feelings about her. Right. Yeah. So that text is not going to work. So Max heads home, he says, being drunk in a car is a guillotine for me. Very French thing to say.

And also couldn't agree more. I despise getting in cars when I'm very drunk. It hasn't happened in a long time, but it's a surefire way to make me throw up. Now, the next thing that we're gonna talk about is the backseat of that van. Jesus Christ. So we have two vans.

We have chef and max, and then we have Kyle in the party bus with the booty shaken and the exposed brass. Yeah. Now, I wouldn't mind Kyle ruining this thing if Kyle was a different guy. I wouldn't mind a gay guy pulling his ass out and shaking it all over the place, but the fact that it's Kyle makes me want to say, put your ass away. Haley and Laura are sucking each other's tits. It's not cool that you're fucking up the vibes.

Nobody wants to see your giant pink ass put it away. No one said while watching this episode, oh, I wish we got more of Kyle's ass. Yeah. I had to close one of my eyes just so I can enjoy the other half of the van. Well, it was all cool. It was all really, really cool. Kyle, Hayley, Laura, just an engine of cool in the back of that van. You know what I mean? And I think Laura and Laura and Luca just make out with each other.

Yeah, I really love it for them. Yeah, I love it for them too, because Luca just make out with each other. Yeah. I really love it for them. Yeah. I love it for them too, because it just makes no sense. So Tumi is trying to protect Jess from the Viper that is Luca when they get to this club. And that is when Chef Luby goes up to Haley. The night is, is devolving into a drunken tornado of nonsense. Oh, yes.

Chef Jack, he, uh, at some point, I think he just decides to give up and just, uh, just drink himself into oblivion. Uh, yeah. Bolivian. As he should. I mean, fucking nuclear fallout oblivion. He's literally falling. He's doing pratfalls into the patio furniture

and he's being helped by Haley and Laura get everywhere. So we kind of Bernie's kind of thing going on. Ben there, Skisor. Yeah. We've all been there. So this is when Kyle begins to... I'm liberated. I'm liberated. Kyle is a drinking problem. That was a good path. Thank you. Kyle, when he gets really drunk, he gets super aggressive, super angry,

super feeling himself. And super feeling himself. I've never said I'm announced to the group of people I hang out with at a club. I'm liberated. Oh, I've said it so many times. Every time I get drunk, I just talk about how liberated I feel and how free I feel.

It's true. And yeah, I talk about how beautiful America is because I can only feel that way here. It was the only place I can feel that way, you know? So, we, Kyle proceeds to do this thing where he keeps talking about Natalia. And again, here is another mirror image of a mud monster. No one cares about your fucking shit. It's similar to the text that Natalia sent.

Just stop. No one's playing the game that you two are playing. Okay. We're just trying to fuck each other and go home and pound pasta until we throw out. Look what this stuff's done to Laura Tomb Raider, man. All this goddamn stresses. She's an emotional leader. She's fucking passing football-sized poops that we're asking. Yep.

I'll do that to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can I say, Luca really becomes less of a short king here. And I know that he's drunk, but he's kind of, there's no loyalty with sea rats, but he's almost antagonistic towards the tie at this point. And it's like, Luca, you don't go too far with it. Yeah. Okay.

Stay out of that. So we get back to the boat. Laura is like we said, she's eating a pocket of pasta. She is again, the most, the most valuable player on this team. Tumi heads up to chat with Natalia. How was that ever going to go? Well, Tumi is black out and hates Natalia. So that was a very brief conversation.

Now, forgive me, both of you let me know what took place here. I know Kyle said he was asking to me if it was appropriate to go talk to Natalia, did to me give the green light because she did not. So he just did this without her permission. I think she gave like a... She was giving like a definitely leaning red yellow. She was like, I don't think that's a very good idea.

And he was like, to me, I will be in and out to me note to me, you will never. Sorry for God's help. Yeah. So I think she was like, I wouldn't. And then he was like, perfect. I'm gonna fucking do it. Well, he does. And I don't even know. It's one of those rambling things that he had like just a... I have the transcript. You do, please. Going on Instagram and seeing that you're no longer following me made me realize how serious this whole thing was He's right That is there that is serious to them that's serious to them. Yeah, when it's how he gets in the van She's like he's blocked and that's how you know it's official. Yeah, you goddamn kids It's not kids because these people aren't kids.

It's a good point actually, to make it. It's just sad. I want to know, speaking of sad, AJ, call us when you're 44. Oh, what? Shut up. Don't make direct eye contact with me. I'm sorry. Were you saying Ruby? This is AJ. I just feel like it's going to be so fun for a short amount of time. And then all the girls are going to be either married or addicted to drugs or just gone because they don't live in Bali anymore. Yeah. And they got jobs. And then he'll be 44.

And he won't be Captain Jason because he's not cool like that. You know what I mean? He doesn't have the body. No, no, no. That's when they take all their money and they buy like some kind of like, I guess a version of a mansion out

in the jungle in some self-American country. Right, right. They hire a bunch of security. They eventually like shoot someone's neighbor's dogs. Right. And then they run for the rest of their lives. Right, right, right. And then they run for the rest of your life, right? Right, right, right. And then they're in their life in a jail cell in Europe.

Allegedly. Allegedly. And they stumble upon some hut in the forest. And Jesse Ventura comes out. And he teaches the person how to live off the grid. He teaches the person how to live off the grid. The grid. Next morning, do you have any cell phones break them in half?

Governor or Minnesota ends his tenure there. And then it's off the grid. He's off the grid. It's unbelievable. I love Jesse Winter. I do too. There was an interview one time, like some guy walks up to him at a like a Viking scene and like, you should be president.

And he said, I don't want to job. Yeah. I punched the sniper in the face because he's he's practicing stolen valor. All right. Enough Jesse for turning. he's he's practicing stolen valor. All right, enough Jesse for Max begins to speak a language that is English, but not really. He says something about the Eiffel Tower being his deck. Is this how it's supposed to be?

He tells Luca the goddamn hostile work of environment is making him think he doesn't want to be here after this charter. Well, first and where is this? Oh, I'm sorry. He tells us the hostile work environment is wreaking havoc on his spinal column. Well, there's a quick hit here. Yeah, Max tells Luca, because Luca goes up to him and he goes, Hey, how are you doing?

I was a little worried about you last night. And Max says, you are, you're being an emotional bitch. You need to calm down, okay. Also, I am so stressed out, I am gonna quit. And because like, wait, hang on. Wait. What do you mean? Again, he's mentally ill, but we have to get to Natalia

departing the boat. Natalia's last poison dagger thrown. She goes into talks to Sandy. Oh my God. She tells Sandy what took place, and you know, we see the footage. No, not really. Well, I'm saying, I'm trying to like give my score

on accuracy on her description of the events to the place. 62% accurate. How do you feel, Robs? 26%? Yeah, you thought it was off. Well, anyway, Sandy's concerned about her mental health, her description of the events. 62% accurate. How do you feel, Robs? 26%. Yeah, you thought it was off. Well, anyway, Sandy's concerned about her mental health, so she understands why she's got a job.

There's a tough thing that Natalia is trying to navigate where she's trying to kill Kyle, right? But she's also trying to kill Kyle with a story about Kyle acting inappropriately. The only issue is that she has to tell a lesbian that the thing that kicked it all off was a straight man whose friend said that he's LGBTQ. So she conveniently leaves that part out

because the wire would snap and she would fall to her death if that part was revealed. So not quite accurate. Well, I have to say also, she didn't kind of own her side of the street either. Right. Oh, no, no, no, no. I have a part to play in this as well. No.

By the way, why does second witness called chef Jack? Because that is dangerous because then he can get up there and really drive the dagger in the Kyle's heart. I think because he was honest about the shot. So Sandy trusted his judgment and she was like, I got to get a fucking semi normal C-Rat up here. I got to get a scalzer up here. I got to get a scalzer up here.

When he leaves, Sandy says to herself, I wasn't expecting that. And that was a witness that really, truly did a lot for the defense. Oh, sure. Yeah. What it's I were on. What Natalia did is what I would do to our mom when Dylan and I were probably six and nine, and I would come in crying and I would say he hit me. And then mom would obviously take my side because you can't do that.

But little did she know that I had been, I don't know, probably like throwing rocks at you or doing something horrible. Making fun of how much weight I had been probably, I don't know, probably like throwing rocks at you or doing something horrible and making fun of how much weight I had gained. Hopefully that was it. And then you probably, you pushed me into a wall gently to say, hey, stop making fun of how I got fat. Yeah. And then I went into mom and said, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm so happy I have a boy and a girl, you know, it's stories like this. I can't wait. They're trotting. So Tumi is called up to the bridge and, you know, Scott free essentially. Luca does help Natalia with the suitcase

as she departs. And Natalia says that Luca was very disappointing in the end as As though she is, like troll toll on the river, like what are you judging? Why do you have any judgment on him at all? But the thing that she has, she's not making, I'm not making any sense. Tough night for me, my brain's not working very well,

but I've been eating, I had dominoes over the weekend. I think it's out of my brain. I don't think it's out of my brain. You know how much salt is in there, pizzas, man? It's disgusting. My face blows up to like a basketball. You could bounce my fucking head. That's how much salt's in those pizzas.

And let me tell you something else. We got two thin crusts. Yeah. Disgusting. salts in those things. And let me tell you something else. We got tooth-in crusts. Yeah. Disgusting. So not true. It's just a bit of a... No, head over to www.dustos.com.

Use promo code, BadTV. I will tell you the transparency that they have with the preparation and delivery of their food is second to none. They tell you who's putting it in the oven. It's unbelievable. Wow, yeah, nice. Yeah. Cool.

Want to end the episode? Yeah. All right, so Sandy calls up Kyle. And as Dylan and I have recap, the transcript, Kyle's like, oh, good morning. She's like, sit down. I love that. It's just there's something great about not even feeling like

you got to be fake. Yeah. No. Yeah. I think he's getting the axe. I don't think he's getting the axe because Anne and Tumi cannot handle a charter by themselves. That hasn't stopped Sandy before.

I think he will get the axe soon, but he may stay the entire season. He'll either get fired in an episode or two or he'll stay the entire season. What do you think, Rubes? I think he's not gonna go. I think she's gonna say, you're a bully and you're awful and I don't want someone like you on the boat. But can I always be better? Yeah, we have to come up with a compromise.

There's a lot of, I don't know. Yeah, but also I think that they have an LGBTQIA alliance between the two of them. Genuinely, I do think she wants to be better. Yeah, Lesby and Stonelike gay people. Yeah, we learned that last season with Fraser. I think it's just representation, though, in the industry when they're not.

But do they like lesbians? She tried to, she screwed Malia over, too. So she's just, hey, Malia's make me like girls too. Yeah, you guys didn't know of, but Malia's fucking dyke, fucking, you guys are so, I've been so, we're, 30th of Ruby at Papaya Dog Girl on TikTok,

jump in the iTunes, write into your reviews, five stars, kind words, join us on Patreon.com, slash another podcast network for more and more and more. We love you guys very much. Have a lovely holiday with your family. And if you don't have family, just, get some Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Get some Ben and Jerry's, just fucking get some Ben Jerry's just fucking treat yourself

Yeah, just you know just be grateful that you don't have to have the conversations about the second amendment. Yeah, and Gaza Yeah, I mean, it's just stuff That's it, I'm like, yeah Happy Thanksgiving! I'm Dylan Sankibai, Pat Sankibai Later to rubik Bye-bye! you