Another Below Deck Podcast - Your Husband's Right There | Below Deck S12 E10

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Dylan and Patty are back to break down Cinderella, Striper, love, geckos, boobs and more from Bravo's Below Deck.Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetworkhttps://www.youtube.com/@badtvpod...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey gang, so this one got a little, how do you say, away from us. It got a little dicey, so you're going to be hearing a fair amount of bleeps at many portions of the episode and that's okay. You know, sometimes we just, Pat had had a strawberry matcha frappuccino and I had had I think too much green tea, iced green tea and things just got a little wonky. So as I mentioned you'll be hearing bleeps and if you don't want to hear those bleeps and you want to hear all of the really fun stuff that we said you can go to patreon.com slash another podcast network
Starting point is 00:00:42 and join the uncensored tier. This is really not a pitch or anything I just wanted to give you guys a heads up because we haven't really like teed off like this in a little bit and So yeah, you just wanted to let you know that you're gonna hear more bleeps than normal But if you don't want to hear the bleeps you can go to that website Like I said and have a great week and we love you and thank you for supporting the show and leave five stars and kind words in the comments and we love you. Enjoy the episode. Ole Soleil is like a an attractive gecko. You ever see a gecko eat a bug? The tongue just flies out, grabs a bug. They appear to have no feelings while extinguishing
Starting point is 00:01:23 the life force. It's like, you know, when we eat steak sometimes I'm thinking, I mean I don't like to think it had a head, but I mean I'm like, you know, or a kid. Something gave itself for me to enjoy this with some mashed potatoes. Yes, I often say thank you to the animal that I'm consuming, right? And that's because human beings have in an innate and evolved capacity for examination, right? We can examine the things that we're doing. We can examine the states of ourselves while we're doing things. Geckos can, and that's exactly what's happening.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Especially hot ones. She's a gecko. She's a geek. She's a geek. Welcome aboard another brand new episode of Bad TV. I'm Dylan, that's Pat. Great to be here. Permission be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.
Starting point is 00:02:28 We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.
Starting point is 00:02:36 We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.
Starting point is 00:02:44 We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Strawberry matcha frappuccino from Starbucks. You would say a delectable treat though. Yeah, I stopped myself though. I still have a third left. I'm proud of this. Yeah. What would you give it out of 10? Very enjoyable. I'm not a sweets guy.
Starting point is 00:02:54 I'm going to give it a 7 out of 10. And how many pots would you give this episode? Oh, this was a great episode. This is a great episode. This is a great episode. Can I say something? Mm-hmm. I love Jess. You-hmm. I love Jess
Starting point is 00:03:11 You love Jess. I love Jess. Now. Do you love Jess because she's able to understand that she effed up. Yes I think we have three types of love addicts on this on this boat. Yeah, we have Selene who is just a Tasmanian devil hearts beware, right? She had said and I couldn't believe she said this out loud in one of her interviews, she said, the only thing you have to worry about is getting hurt. Not hurting anybody else. That's right. Protecting herself. So, Selenny is...
Starting point is 00:03:38 True sex addict. Yeah, Selenny is the Joker, okay? Then we have Babs, who is just a mush ball, right? And at various points of this episode. I'm like Babs come on Let it go. You're fucking sea rats. I mean, yeah, I know but I do appreciate her putting her on ice every once in a while Someone needs to understand how much you hurt them by your actions. Gotta put them on ice, right? And then you have Jess who is middle porridge, right? A little bit of a little bit of a player but also has a soul right not like Selane who will light hearts and money on fire and slide down them. I want to say we do get a little Sea Rat history
Starting point is 00:04:15 with Jess earlier and one thing that's true with she's already done this they they're unable to break bad patterns yeah Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so yeah, it's problem. That's great. I give this episode a hundred boobs Okay, um one of the funnier things was how? The charter guests could give two shits about Kelly smelly Kelly being thrown off the fucking charter They just moved on with a hated her And and can I tell you something else you somebody I love more than just is Frank Frank I don't know what the character is in that Pixar film up, but he looks just like that fucking commudgeon But he's not like that guy. He's bald right yeah
Starting point is 00:04:58 Frank was a delight Frank was a dull and I'm gonna say this I'm gonna say some offensive things about the people on this boat this episode. I'm merely going to be commenting on what Bravo presented me as a podcaster, top-notch podcaster. But I'm going to say at some point in the episode I came around to the Charter guests, not all of them. Yeah, well Tri-State Trash often does that to you, right? When you first meet them, they're eating hot dogs out of pizza, pizza bread. And you're like, why is there so much ketchup on that? And why are you talking like that? But then you go to their living room,
Starting point is 00:05:33 and you meet their family, and you're like, oh my gosh. These people really love each other, and they really do love the Eagles that much. Yeah, and they're also relics of the past, soon to be past. You know how we learn every year, oh, there's only four more veterans from World War II? There's only 18,000 more guidos pretending like they're on The Sopranos.
Starting point is 00:05:53 They're all dying out. They're phasing out. They're obnoxious. I'm sure it was fun in the 70s when they were talking like that. But right now, it just makes you sound like trash. I'm sorry. It does.
Starting point is 00:06:03 It is annoying. You have olive oil on you Yeah, but Frank was a delight Frank was a delight I mean they're all delights, you know, um Let's see here I was gonna I'm just gonna start up with smelly Kelly But how many pots do you I'm gonna give it 14 give it 14 knots. OK, that's not a lot. I'm sorry, I meant 44. OK, that's more. Now, what I don't want you to do is curb yourself or muzzle
Starting point is 00:06:35 yourself really in any way, shape, or form. This is hard to do because Dylan didn't want me to talk about this. And I'm not going to. I still don't want you to. I'm not going to. But Dylan, I'm going to execute this recap as intended initially, rather than soften it
Starting point is 00:06:50 for the sake of people that are listening. Good, so begin with Smelly Kelly. OK. A drunk hat. I love a bad drunk. Right. They say things like, don't respect me, after literally having a pillow fight with a wall
Starting point is 00:07:03 and threatening everyone. When I was watching Smelly Kelly, one image came to mind. after literally having a pillow fight with a wall and threatening everyone. When I was watching Smelly Kelly, one image came to mind. It was, this is what it must have felt like to be one of Julie Garland's children watching this. Mom's had a tough day again. Let's give her an aspirin and get her to bed.
Starting point is 00:07:20 By the way, little tease for PMC. I did a thing on Judy Garland where she did a show or did a song. So fucking high. Yeah, only Michael Jackson was higher than her. But she was still alive. Yeah. Well, the the industry really did abuse her and take advantage of her but she really did lose her mind. Well, smelly Kelly's removed from the boat and then Helen agrees to accompany her so long as she gets to come back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Well that drunk string of snot was, you know, pillow attacking all of the Democrats aboard the vessel. So she had to go. Well, she was also shouting, pussy as she walked her hotel and I thought deal was a little harsh when he referred to these people as tri-state gutter trash. But Dill, when you're right, you're right. I didn't say gutter trash.
Starting point is 00:08:09 Oh. Yeah. TST. So we've got to put everything behind us, though, and have fun on this trip, OK? Dill, I'm sorry. Call to action. Forgive me.
Starting point is 00:08:20 CTA. I'd love to talk to Helen and Kelly and Michelle, the charter guests here. If you know Smelly Kelly on a personal level, yeah, and you'd like to submit a horrible run in with her. I did this years ago with Leslie Mann, who's an absolute terrible person.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Turns out a bunch of people hit me up with horrible stories. I want you to submit your stories to me. I assume most of them will start out with. She threw a shoe on me. I don't think a lot will be, I volunteered at a dog rescue with her.
Starting point is 00:08:52 I think most will start with, after she punched the bouncer, things were south. So feel free to get that. But Helen, if you're listening, we'd love to have you on as well. Yeah, no, she punched the bouncer, didn't really do anything to him. What did hurt him was her calling him the f-word and calling him a liberal Wow, so allegedly
Starting point is 00:09:12 Still he is and I don't know how we got that name, but it's last last name It's still kind of harboring a bit of resentment towards dame on the dame man and then we get to yes I was gonna say there's a couple other things I wanna touch on. So yes, the Sea Rats self-reflect on their public drunkenness moments. In decency, yeah. And that's when Kyle, the resentments about him to have to watch his girl hook up
Starting point is 00:09:37 with every single person on the boat. Yeah. I do wanna say this. The charter guests, which I initially couldn't stand any of them they start Apologizing kind of halfway If I'm the crew I'm gonna say to you The the tornado of drunken trash on this boat is your fault too well You all sat up there and ate while your friend was fucking pillow fighting with a wall
Starting point is 00:10:07 I don't I think that's unfair I think that they tried to handle her as best they could and I do think that they were Genuinely remorseful and respectful to the crew, but we get to Romeo and Juliet aka Soleil Jess Soleil or Jess says that she's Juliet and That's confusing to me because she literally has the same haircut as Leo DiCaprio from the Boslerman version so she's rubbing. Yeah and I do want to remind both these people that Romeo and Juliet did in fact die. They died.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Yeah they died. So tragedy. I mean the worst thing that can happen out of this relationship is someone gets a venereal disease allegedly. Now try to guess Frank and Brian They discuss smelly Kelly and Ryan says he doesn't date girls like that Mostly because she has a vagina and gay men don't have coochies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm insinuating Brian's gay Well, they have but coochies, but don't we all?
Starting point is 00:11:02 Right. Sorry Brian Okay, Jesus Christ. Cowboy night. Cows, fat man and barbecues. That's what Frazier thinks of. And David is pretty good Southern impression. He does good. It's funny. Now I know how the our Australian audience feels when we do. Yeah, it's not good.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Hey, how y'all done? We're dying here just kicking up sausage. It's got cheese jalapenos and I work on braised spaghettles. Fuck our sisters. You know that kind of thing. Yeah. The South is a beautiful place. Nice people. They open the doors for you. Ask how you're doing and they mean it.
Starting point is 00:11:39 I don't mean Texas. And I don't mean Texas, and I don't mean Mississippi. I mean the wooded south, what not the not the muddy or dry parts of the south. Okay, fucking disgusting. I was gonna say the cities are filled with those goddamn Democrats. What are you talking about down in those Texas places? You know, Austin? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah All right. So Babs and Jess are still not doing great Babs has every right to be upset But as we mentioned, I mean you're see rats. We got to get over this
Starting point is 00:12:13 Understood and I think she kind of does but again, I appreciate icing another Sea Rat Let her pay for her nonsense well Jess puts her foot in her mouth a bit with Celine because she's dealing with a live YRK sexual joker. Now, Soleil is a dangerous woman like that Ariana Grande song. Soleil opens or upon hearing that Jess feels remorse for another human says, you can go fuck yourself. You can sleep in your own fucking bed. I mean, what kind of unanimity is required
Starting point is 00:12:48 of this young woman to go down on you? She has to be completely psychotic and evil to other people. I don't think I'm a fan of Cirque du Soleil. I really don't think I am. Classic sex and love addiction here. It's about getting the person to fall in love with you. And when you do, then you can act with impunity about them. Right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:13:10 It's a really disgusting behavior. It's about acquiring leverage. Oh, I got it. I see. All right. Well, let's get to Anthony. I do want to say this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Because Anthony is one of my favorite people to get to. Oh, we'll get to him. Don't worry. Ole Soleil is like an attractive gecko. You ever see a gecko eat a bug? The tongue just flies out, grabs a bug. They appear to have no feelings while extinguishing the life force.
Starting point is 00:13:37 It's like, you know, when we eat steak, sometimes I'm thinking, I mean, I don't like to think it had a head. But I mean, I'm like, you know? Or a kid. Something gave itself for me to enjoy this with some mashed potatoes. Yes, I often say thank you to the animal that I'm consuming, right?
Starting point is 00:13:54 And that's because human beings have an innate and evolved capacity for examination, right? We can examine the things that we're doing. We can examine the states of ourselves while we're doing things. geckos can't know. And that's exactly what's actually hot ones. Yeah, she's a guy. Yeah, she's a gecko. Alright, let's get to Anthony who did lose his wife to his uncle. That's right.
Starting point is 00:14:22 He was also dyslexic. cooking saved him and now that's now cooking is his passion. That's all I have to say about that right now. And we we've said this before but we do need to stop normalizing dyslexia as a real cross to bear because you know a lot of people do and you know I'm dyslexic, lots of people are dyslexic, right? And I'm not saying it's not a hurdle. I'm not saying that it's not a couple rocks in your shoe. But it's definitely not a lot of other things. There's different varieties of it, Dylan. Ashton Kutcher, that handsome devil,
Starting point is 00:15:01 he had dyslexia when he was a kid. And that's why he convinced Demi Moore why they needed to have threesomes throughout their entanglement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she wrote that about in her book. Oh, really, he cited dyslexia? I think he did, yeah, he's an idiot.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Okay, he's also kind of a... Oh, I thought you were Demi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. You would think that removing the confusion would help with the dyslexia, right but no Yeah, he got all tangled up with Diddy, didn't he? I Think he did he's been pretty quiet He used to be on Shark Tank every other episode. He ain't on there anymore. Yeah, I saw There's a training camp video from I think old miss somebody was running through one of those drills where they have all those
Starting point is 00:15:52 plastic things that you have to run through that kind of manufactured linemen trying to grab. Oh sure okay yeah. Yeah and they were beige colored and they looked like a bunch of dicks and someone retweeted and said Justin Bieber breaking out of Diddy's basement. That's really fucked up what was going on down there. Cooking is the only way he can focus. Let's get to Rainbow. Okay Rainbow reports. Patty's favorite. I, Rainbow, if you're listening come on the show. Rainbow reports to Fraier about Ole's work ethic. I think this is kind of a mixed report, because she was so horrible.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Anything that she does now is an improvement, technically. Well, anyway, then, Ole kind of described, I'm sorry, Rainbow describes the boat in the dynamic right now as a circular firing squad where Everyone's trying to eliminate each other, you know Sounds like the sentiment of a person who decapitated both her sisters with a explosive munition Yeah, someone had to live down So, you know and we were watching Hunger Games the other day at the house. Which one? Just the first one for research.
Starting point is 00:17:07 I was thinking about Rainbow and I think what Rainbow did was a little bit like what Peta did where she just pretended to be a rock pretty much the whole time. But eventually there's only two left and you can't be a rock forever so you do have to decapitate somebody and in her case it was her sister So that's that's actually pretty tough You know um the only worse way to die than having your head Separated from your shoulders is to be stung by bees to saw that Killer bees in that movie huh?
Starting point is 00:17:39 Yeah, it's a great film. You know Stakes are really high when kids are killing each other, you know, really demented. So, um Rainbows got a tinge of darkness in her though because she says It's nice that everybody's fighting now. Yeah, she's not the only one that's on the outside Let's get to dinner. The guests think that Kelly is a piece of trash. And I think Brian is disgusted by her. Yeah, he is. They really are. First course is a lovely bouillabaisse. And it would seem that Frank, the honorary Sea Rat, was with Kelly. I say that he's the honorary Sea Rat because they smushed him into one of those blue moisture waking shirts early on in the episode.
Starting point is 00:18:26 And it would look the same with me, I'm not in no shade, but you know, you gotta be hot to wear those things. So, Helen, no, next course is Babs and Selene talking. Bouncing around quite a bit here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well the next course is Babs and Selene burying the hatchet. And Jess said that, she says that Jess said that she likes you,
Starting point is 00:18:51 and I just want us to be good friends. And they do bury the hatchet. And we quickly begin joking about how there's lipstick in the toilet. Well, there's a couple things going on here. The charter guests were bleeding on the couches, and there's lipstick on the toilet. Well, there's a couple things going on here. The charter guests were bleeding on the couches, and there's lipstick on the toilets. I don't understand.
Starting point is 00:19:12 It's a little bit like a blood spatter analyst. Like, when you walk into a room, you have to decode the story, right? Yeah. It tells a story, some would argue. How would someone get lipstick on the inside of a toilet? I'm just trying to think about how. I'm not Sherlock Holmes, but I would say that
Starting point is 00:19:33 she flicked a chunk of like a piece of it off the actual lipstick thing into the toilet. It bounced off the rim and that's how you have the mark. You think? Yeah. Okay. What do you think, Watson? I think she was probably like trying to. You think? Yeah. OK. What do you think, Watson? I think she was probably trying to eat the toilet. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:49 I wouldn't put it past these people. All right, so last we left off, nope. My notes went all the way to the top. The next course is actually a brandzino. OK. Thoughts on this? A lovely, lovely fish. Now, I'm never a fish guy.
Starting point is 00:20:02 I'll never go to a restaurant or and and and order the fish, right? right, but I think when someone does a brandzino well and This looks to be done. Well It's an unrivaled culinary experience. It really really is It's it's just that it's that lesser traveled road that people just have to take some time. And I would implore lots of people that, you know, if you're out and you trust the place and you've been there before, you know, your favorites, maybe take a night off from the steak and cream spinach and try the fish.
Starting point is 00:20:37 You know what my wife and I do? What we will at a restaurant that we've been going to for a long time, something that we never ordered will just order as almost like an appetizer. So we both get the tried and true tested things that we want and you put that one thing on the side and we just pick at it. And it's always worse than the things that you're, oh, it's disgusting. We ordered something like a, we went to Casa Luna. I'm like, Oh, thank God. I didn't order. This is what my main thing. What was it? It was some mushroom, ugh, risotto, ugh.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Okay, you didn't like it. You don't like mushroom. No, I didn't like it. That's fine, that's fine. Still took it home. I fed it to the dogs. Okay, they're eating well. We end things with a microwave chocolate cake.
Starting point is 00:21:20 Let's not do dessert. What is someone gonna say about a fucking cake? I'll tell you what, if I was on Viya, I would have cobbled that for you. I love Viya. I love Viya so much. What have you been taking from Viya recently? Because you took one the other day on a PMZ. I thought you were going to have a tough time. You excelled.
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Starting point is 00:25:51 TV alright so back to the show We got some titties coming out pretty soon. Yeah, we do Helen how did you rate did you give the dinner pots? seven wow really Booly a bass Well, how did you rate, did you give the dinner pots? Seven. Wow, really? Boo-ya-base! Rainbow. Tells So-len she can go to bed. So-len says, that's nice.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Rainbow says, it's part of my job. She says, no, no, no, I wasn't saying you're nice. I think you're an evil bitch. But going to bed will be nice. And Rainbow says, oh, okay, well, I think you're an evil bitch have a nice sleep. Always. They hate each other. They do they're never gonna be friends. No. So Helen is heading back to the boat and rejoins the crew the next
Starting point is 00:26:36 day I believe Frank is throwing punches he's got a really solid base I think this guy was a fighter in his youth I think he's gotten into some scraps yeah you know but we get to Stilly. He is still morose. He's been spun out by this whole saline thing. And these are the kind of flies that land haphazardly in the web of these sex addicts. Okay. Kyle is chum to saline. He is. Gotta move on. Yeah, you do.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Gotta move on yeah, you do got a who? It's not that girl in the trailer I'll tell you Anyway, okay, what it's not that girl in the trailer. What are you talking? Did you watch trailer for the next episode where he slept with? Targets slept with a charter guest? Uh, yeah, I wonder who he's loved. Did he sleep with a charter guest?
Starting point is 00:27:27 Uh, I believe Captain Carrie in the trailer. I'm not like speaking out of turn here. He says, uh, I thought the crew, thank you, banged a charter guest. I thought it was well, I mean, listen, he said banged. Yes, he did. No, he did. I'll
Starting point is 00:27:42 pull the tape. He did not. He said banged. Carrie said, sorry, you banged a chat again. You have it on your phone? No, we're not did. No, he did. I'll pull the tape. He did not see said bang Carrie said so I had you banged it shot again. You have it on your phone. No, we're not doing that right now Okay, so let's get to the breakfast table. We've got egg white omelets and locks with breakfast Captain Carrie is accosted by the ladies. I tell I'm gonna sound mean here. Yeah But I have to just call balls and strikes Charter gas Michelle and Helen they want to know if he's single, you know, maybe they could Have him hold them in the water, you know when the shirts off
Starting point is 00:28:14 Let me say this. I don't know captain carried that well, but I'll tell you this he'd Cucumber then Well Stuff my now Kyle's a different story Okay. Now listen Italian women are very makes the world interesting if you really think about it. Yeah, I've I'll really think about it later. But listen Italian women are generous lovers. So I think that Kyle. Oh really? I think so. I grew up with Italian women. They're not. Oh, really? I thought they kind of colloquially cracked their knuckles and get to work.
Starting point is 00:28:49 All right. I feel like this episode is pretty brutal. I promised you at the beginning I would be authentic. You made good on that promise. Thank you. Yuck. All right. All right. All right, okay.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Helen hits the beat. Wow. Wouldn't it be funny if we had them on the show? Shut up, we have to finish the episode, all right? Helen hits the beat, she's already pretty turnt up, and she is pretty touchy. She pops those tits out, and Kyle starts to, I mean, essentially motorboater from behind from behind I mean this is very very sexual
Starting point is 00:29:27 gaga's is almost sexual I can that's perfect right Scottish pretty good yeah what's up with Richard poor Richard he's passed out on the beach the guy when he's got his shirt on and yeah I mean I would say that he's he's got a Mandy Patinkin vibe to him he's just exhausted and just staring out at the horizon but what would you I can't imagine what kind of relationship these two have because she's popping her tits out and the the young buck is just holding her in the ocean I mean I guess he just he's cheating on her with so many women he can't maybe you know yeah
Starting point is 00:30:05 relationships you know yeah so back to the boat we get a call from Salen's brother and she tells her brother that she likes a girl on the boat and then tells the producers that Jess is playing with her and the producers say well what about you in Scottish and she goes no that's very very different Babs and our love triangle is very different. And the producers could have gone, well, what about Damo, then? And she, no, no, no, it's different.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Selene, you do not have a fucking peg leg to stand on. OK? She's not good on her feet. No. She does. This is when she says, first rule of, I guess, hooking up with people, don't get hurt. Barbara is getting things
Starting point is 00:30:46 ready for the guests and Selene is useless. Now after all this do you want to say anything more about the the tits coming out? The tits are the tits come out they're cradled by Stilly and they remain out for some time. I think when Captain Carrie comes to pick them up. They're still out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the Alice Cooper hair kind of covers them up a little bit. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Alice Cooper, her buddy Michelle.
Starting point is 00:31:14 No, I'm talking about her own hair. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you know. Am I right in saying that Helen's hair is a little Alice Cooper-y? Yeah, it's more like every member of the glam band Cinderella. You know? She's like Tom Kiefer. I don't know. I don't know Tom Kiefer. She looks like Tom Kiefer. Let me pull that up real quick just because I need a good laugh. Yeah, sure, sure. Now, so they have lunch there, but who gives a shit?
Starting point is 00:31:43 Any thoughts on lunch while you look up for Tom Kiefer? Tom Kiefer, yep. OK, I see it. What do you think, accurate or jet black hair? Fake. I would say. No, he. Wow, wow.
Starting point is 00:31:57 You're talking about Tom Kiefer. Yeah. F***ing awesome. Oh, it's stable and wonderful. Jesus. I feel like you called me out at the top of the show. I wasn't gonna let that happen. All right. So is everybody back on the boat yet?
Starting point is 00:32:16 Because I got a joke. Michelle, she's making a little charter guest. Michelle, who looks like the guitar player for Cinderella. Although I think that guy's dead. I knew! I fucking knew it. He left us. God rest his soul. You know what? I'm wrong. That's the guitar player for Striper. Anyway, Tri-State Michelle wants a new career as a Sea Rat and I think she'd be great in the engine room or no one Has to listen to that fucking shrill voice
Starting point is 00:32:55 Holy shit. I think we're gonna lose some listeners from this. Yeah. Yeah now I think they I think they remember I wrote this before I started I took a turn with these people and started liking them. Okay Well, they're gone next episode. So I don't know when that happened or where it happened, but I would say that I'm looking forward to reading a one-star review next week. That's gonna be a lot of fun. Because there's no way we're not gonna get one. I mean, my God. Fine.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Oh man, this guy Tom Kiefer's still on my phone. It's uncanny. Okay. Oh man, this guy Tom Keefer is still on my phone. It's uncanny. Okay, so Barbara is getting things ready for the guests and the problem with Selene being her partner is that Selene is absolutely useless. And I don't like Selene in a professional environment. I think that she's fun outside of the boat. Evil, but fun.
Starting point is 00:33:42 And also don't get entangled with her. You go have drinks with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She'll make out with you. Right, right,, but fun. And also, don't get entangled with her. You go have drinks with her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She'll make out with you. Right, right. It's fun. But she does this thing where she'll be clearly in the wrong, being just a useless, generally
Starting point is 00:33:57 unconcerned coworker. And then she'll find something to divert the accusation away from her incompetence. So it'll be, I don't like the way that you're speaking to me, and now we're in that ring, and we're discussing that. And she'll manipulate the situation to the point where she's forgiving the other person for what they did to her. Being good looking is one of the attributes
Starting point is 00:34:24 that actually ends up being a curse later on in life when you're not as good looking because you formed all these horrible habits of how you interact with humanity. Yeah, it's really kind of. People like pretty people. They're not so keen on uglies. I don't like Celine.
Starting point is 00:34:44 She scares me. Really, really like Celine. Scares me. Really, really scares me. One of the guests wants to be a Sea Rat. That's the one I talked about. She can work in the engine room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, great. So Babs and Jess are still not doing great.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Babs, come on. Get over it, I guess, at this point. Hugo. She goes, you should. He tells Jess, you should. I don't know what you guys call it, but whatever it is, you need to do it. Well, he's too rational to understand C-Rat behavior. He needs to go to like college for two years to understand it. I love Hugo.
Starting point is 00:35:13 I do too. I think he's an incredible manager. And I think that had he, I think we'll get him again at the top of the season. And I think he'll get into some stuff. of the season and I think he'll get into some stuff maybe but I think he's a great manager and that he recognized these are fucking you know I'm talking about they're fucking serious but Dylan it begs the question why is he here is it to eventually I guess drive a boat like Captain Carrie I don't know he's handsome as fuck I think he could be on TV for a while so the Sea rats Hit the boat Helen's grabs stilly and evidently heads to her room Jess
Starting point is 00:35:55 We get a Sea Rat history of love here. It's quick one It turns out breaking unhealthy patterns in life is easier said than done in the Sea Rat world Oh next to impossible. I would say next to impossible I mean look at Rainbow you cut one sister's head off and you're ruined for the rest of your life but she hasn't cut anybody else's head off so maybe she's the maybe she's the hope that we're looking for. Now we've got an eight course dinner to prepare and chef Anthony has almost killed people in the past but tonight he has to tell a story. He does still Dill.
Starting point is 00:36:25 And you know, a lot of the audience has probably listened to me talk about me writing a script, so I understand storytelling. So he tells us these choruses will in fact tell a story, and it's like acts in a play. Definitely. Yeah. In the fourth chorus... It's an eight act structure. It's famous. Yes, clearly. And the fourth act apparently will be the part of the story where his uncle
Starting point is 00:36:50 bend his wife over a railing. And in writing, we refer to that arc as the trigger. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to the die. The dyslexia diagnosis is the rising action. That's right. That's right. So anyways, Anthony does not need to tell a story. What he actually does need to do is cut the rib eyes in half because what are you doing trying to make eight rib eyes? And remember that you're serving food to people from South Jersey who are blacked out.
Starting point is 00:37:24 We're not trying to tell a story. We're trying to put decently food on a plate and get everybody to bed without bleeding. I think he honestly could have served them three courses and convinced them later when they woke up that it was eight. That was eight, yeah. I think so too.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Now, Deimo, another fire impression. He loves Frank. I love Frank too, but he nails the Italian. But we have to get to an evening of lingerie and lights now the last time Carrie was at a dinner it didn't go well Jill Zarin was there she did not have her Amazon button she did not have her staples button and was pissed off about it and things are not going great because you know Anthony is just the walls are close the walls are closing in but we end with Jess and Selene. More trouble in
Starting point is 00:38:08 paradise there. I think that Jess recognizes now that Selene is the Joker. And because she's middle porridge, she can recognize when she's hurting people. And also, when people are fucking dangerous sex addicts, and you're gonna get gobbled up if you don't get out. Wasn't this also her warning, Soleil, that you might get your fucking ass fired if you keep fucking around?
Starting point is 00:38:31 Oh, correct. That's what I thought. Yeah, so she tells Selene that there are murmurings afoot, that her work ethic is really, really bad and that she doesn't want her to go off the boat so she should shape up. Now, Selene is here to prolong her television career and to just fuck around. So an accusation like that shouldn't be too bad,
Starting point is 00:38:52 right? She gets so instantaneously defensive, completely shuts her down and go, we're done with this conversation. And that's when Jess goes to take a shower. So get in the comments. Let us know what you thought about the episode. Five stars kind words., if you wanna leave a one, leave a one, it'll be fun next week. Ones or fives, no two threes or fours, please. No two threes or fours, please.
Starting point is 00:39:11 We love you guys very much, I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat, say goodbye. Later news! Love

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