Answer Me This! - AMT205: Scarecrows, Traffic Lights and Naked Shame

Episode Date: February 16, 2012

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To support sustainable food production, BHP is building one of the world's largest potash mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. Why can't I watch call the midwife on a full stomach? Has to be this, has to be this. Who would dare launch a tea cake to compete with a tonic? Has to be this, has to be this. Last week we wondered whether you could use the now, let's face it, slightly antiquated book token as currency. Yes, could you march into any bookshop and say, I know this says it's for books. But I want a miniature Japanese rock garden that they sell out the till as a joke present.

Yeah, or one of those novelty writing blocks that's called the writing block and is full of inspiring ideas. Well, we've had this from Sam who says, as a bookseller at Waterstones, I can confirm that indeed you can buy anything in the store with a book token, including me for the night. He doesn't say that. No doubt this is much to the consternation of the book token, including me for the night. He doesn't say that. No doubt this is much to the consternation of the book token inventor,

but lucky for us, he is dead and can't spoil anybody's fun. Hooray! Well, that doesn't stop a lot of religious figures. But Sam, I disagree, I'm afraid. You do? Well, yes, because... What the what? I know well. I've got some feedback from a fellow Waterstones

salesperson. Dissent within the Waterstones empire. This is from Elliot, who works at Waterstones Carmarthen in South Wales. He says, Waterstones sell two types of electronic card voucher, the National Book Tokens and the Waterstones gift vouchers. National Book Tokens come as an electronic card now. Yeah, I know, it's all gone to shit, hasn't it? Not as a bit of paper stuck in a really boring card. It's like on Monopoly now, there's an electronic version you play with credit cards

instead of silly paper money stay in the past monopoly that's where you belong anyway elliot says waterstones gift cards can be spent on anything in store but national book tokens can only be spent on actual books but mom uh he goes on to say that apparently the Welsh Books Council have paper vouchers. You can only spend them on books in the medium of Welsh. I wouldn't have any use for those. I speak no Welsh. That is dry, isn't it? I suppose they've been making a concerted effort

the past couple of decades... To promote Welsh. To promote Welsh. Yeah, but... To support and sustain their heritage. Yeah, but don't subvert kids' birthday presents. That's not the way to do it. It is just a way to make kids hate their mother tongue, isn't it?

Anyway, there appears to be, as we've seen, within Waterstones, some discrepancy here. Elliot in Carmarthen says you can't spend book tokens on anything other than books. Sam says you can. There's only one way to find out. Look it up on the Waterstones website. The National Book Tokens website.

They've got a website. Yes, I've been to nationalbooktokens.com and I've looked at the terms and conditions thoroughly. I thought they'd have a.org. Valid cards can be used as full or part payment to purchase books or maps of your choice from participating bookshops. Nothing about pillows, nothing about inflatable things.

Nothing about edibles. No magazines, maybe that's a bit of a grey area, but basically books or maps. What about birthday cards? Doesn't mention those. What about e-books? Nope. What about... Books or maps?

What about talking books? Books or maps? What about a book of matches? I think they do deliberately leave books as a relatively vague term, but it certainly doesn't... I think cards are not books. I think that's clear. Maybe the card has a map on it, and then I don't know.

If you get a book of maps, do you get that half price? Here's a question from Andrew from Melbourne now, who says, Helen, answer me this. What is proper grave etiquette when leaving flowers on a grave? Not to cut their heads off. Yes, definitely. To cover up the footprints you've made dancing. Recently, he says, my girlfriend and I visited the graves of her grandparents and wanted to leave flowers.

But the only flower receptacle on the grave was full. Popular grandparents. Do we have the right to remove someone else's flowers to place ours? No. Well. No. Okay. No.

But imagine yourself in this situation... I'm running out of intonations. What would you do? No! What would you do, though? I'd just... Leave them? Put them by the side or stuff them into the receptacle with them.

Stuff them into the receptacle? That's almost as disrespectful, isn't it? Ask the gravediggers for another receptacle if you're only allowed to put them in the receptacles. I think that might be the way. Yeah. Because it says here, um, there is a sign in the cemetery asking visitors not to leave flowers except in the provided containers. Or you'll get a bloody good haunting tonight.

That's right. You could borrow a receptacle off a much less popular grave. But Andrew from Melbourne, why do you think that your right to lay flowers supersedes that of people who've been there before you to lay them? The grandparents might not be mourned by just you and your girlfriend. Don't have the arrogance think oh how dare those other people mourn these beloved grandparents uh hi hello nobby i'm jules from london uh 21 but i'm not a car remember if you ask that so i've been walking home from the pub it's snowing and tell me answer me this does it get boring for people who live in

countries or locations that always have snow all year round to write funny messages on cars, windscreens coming in snow, like poo or wee or shit or fuck you? Okay, where has snow all the year round? Antarctica, Greenland. I mean, not even the North Pole for much longer. And even if they did, I'm not sure you'd get a polar bear writing fuck in the snow. I think that's probably right. If you do have a very small community of humans there, it's just not the done thing in that kind of tight-knit community

to write poo on each other's houses, is it? Well, they're probably too busy trying to live in very difficult conditions. But also, there is something in the point that, of course, with novelty, people express themselves. However, it is the case that here, people actually have very limited creativity with the words that they do write that's because they've only got a few days of snow per year so they have to get the immediate thoughts out and then the snow melts and there's

no chance to move on to you know your more mature sophomore efforts it's like when you're a kid and you get given a dictionary and the first thing you look up is funny yeah yeah there's a lot of uniformity about snowmen as well isn't there not the one that was up our street the other day which had sticks pointing out of its eyes terrifying but that's what i like i like a bit of that because they're all you know men come in all shapes and sizes and yet they're always depicted a big fat belly big head carrot nose i don't know if you know how difficult it is to build a structurally different snowman that's not it's an engineering challenge if you want to make a sort of slim Brad Pitty guy, that's quite tough. OK, but what about snow girls?

Why are there no snow women? Because people like you would try and stick your dick in them on the street. Yeah, you've got a cool penis. If you've got a question, then email your question, yeah, to answer me of this podcast to googlemail.com. Answer me of this podcast to googlemail.com. Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com.

Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com. Help cat. Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com. So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America.

We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. Here's a question from Evan, who says, I work for a government agency whose offices are near a Zone 1 central line station, which pretty much covers the entire of the civil service. Well, not GCHQ, because they're based in Cheltenham. We can count them out. He says, I'm a gay man married to my lovely husband.

It's 2012, baby. You're not the only one. I mean, well, you are the only one married to your lovely husband. Hopefully, hopefully. At least once a day, I frequent my local branch of EAT. Ham and cheese croissant for breakfast. Oh, yeah. Soup for lunch when I fancy their offering

No packed lunches for you I've managed to build up a running flirtation With two of the male staff members at this branch of EAT One is Spanish, the other French Each lovely and or fuckable In their own way I'm not sure where to draw the line If they're gay men who are looking for a boyfriend

I'm just wasting their time But maybe they like the banter as I do You're not wasting looking for a boyfriend i'm just wasting their time but maybe they like the banter as i do you're not wasting their time you're paying them for their time exactly and they're being charming to keep you coming back twice a day for croissants and soup they're basically acting like flirt prostitutes yeah so ollie answered me this how do i know where to draw the line ah chill out it's fine flirting's fine exactly they're not going to leap over the counter and pull your pants down are they maybe some people would say no if you're in a relationship you shouldn't be flirting in that way every day

with someone you fancy i go into the branch of it which is which is very close to my office and you buy granola and a hand job and there's some really pretty nice girls there but that keeps you going back doesn't it a lovely conversation with a pretty lady actually it's the flat whites that keep me going back but that's not a nice name to call her look she is an a-cup though I'm quite restrained in my flirting I don't ever flirt You probably think These girls are flirting with me

But they don't actually mean it I don't think you'd have any illusion That these people Actually had some intention towards you And at some point you'd have to say Sorry guys I'm happily married Or maybe this is in fact all in your head And they just recognise you as a regular customer

And they're just trying to be nice. And not everyone wants to get in your pants, Evan, all right. They might not even be gay. Exactly. The thing is, I think if you're the customer, you're in control. Because they know, these guys, that if you were to complain that they're being overly direct or something, you could get them in serious trouble.

You're in control. You're asking for stuff, they're giving it to you. Nothing untoward is going to happen. Unless you want it to it to yeah well unless you you go some way to make it happen they're not going to say here's your ham and cheese croissant and i'll meet you out the back for a blowy you have to start that that's quite direct so if you won't take control this will never get any further it'll just stay on the flirting level and really that's fine okay ideas for experimentation go in in some sort of disguise and see if they treat you the same or just hang back and see how they serve others whether they give them the same amount of warmth and sexual

promise i had this situation in them in pret uh i went to the pret a manger in regent street where i often pop in yeah um and um this wasn't someone flirting with me but this is someone who seemed to know who i was gave me my coffee and said there you are Ollie and I thought well okay either that's a podcast fan or I'm such a tubber that they know me because I go to this pret every day and I've handed over my credit card yeah but if that were the case they'd say no Ollie

you're not allowed the club sandwich you're going to have the crayfish salad with no dressing if you've been affected by any of the issues in today's programme, you can call 0208 123 5877. Or you can let up or shut up. You're a man or a minx. Here's a question from Anne in Newcastle who says ollie answer me this do scarecrows actually work yes obviously well they wouldn't have been going for centuries if they didn't work right where was

the first scarecrow centuries ago evidently yeah well approximately i mean hundreds and hundreds because there's a reference in a japanese book from 712 to a scarecrow. I read that they had them in ancient Egypt about 3000 BC. Well, it's pretty low tech, isn't it? I mean, once you realise birds are frightened of things, you put a thing in a field and they're frightened. You don't need one person to invent that. It's like saying, who invented the thing where you wave? Or, you know, who invented the sound of orgasm?

I mean, it's just, it's a thing that's obvious. I think that was our neighbours actually. They reinvent it regularly. More horrific than the last. I also read that in Britain, they seem to have come later to the scarecrow the most because for a while they were using nine-year-old boys. And then when they ran out of nine-year-old boys, they started making scarecrows out of sacking

and old clothes and stuff. Well, actually, a cool thing that I read about scarecrows is that uh because obviously it is a sort of ancient agricultural thing and every area would have their own version of the same idea because as i say it's quite an intuitive natural thing to do uh all the different areas of britain had different names for them and in devon they're called the mermits mermits mermits that's a very west country sounding word in barkshirekshire, hodmedods. Is this J.K. Rowling's list? This is my favourite.

In Scotland, tattyboggle. That's lovely. Oh, I've got my tattyboggle up. Scottish listeners, sorry for any offence caused. I read an interesting thing about Japanese scarecrows, that they used to put old rotten meat and fish bits on them to make them smelly to scare the birds off, but presumably that would also inhibit the farmers i thought you're gonna say might attract the japanese like a kind of like a kind of sushi belt in a field they do love fermented things

yeah some scarecrows do actually attract crows that's the irony isn't it if the scarecrow looks too comfortable and the crow works out that it's not real they'll sit on it which is why modern scarecrows aren't actually uh human likenesses at all they're like they use bursts of gas and stuff like that to scare birds away like landmines yeah yeah that kind of thing or sounds you can get can't you like in garden centers for cats and stuff you can get sounds that frighten animals out of your garden and things so it's not actually any more about necessarily dressing things up to look like wurzel gummage so crows have evolved not to be scared anymore of a tattered coat upon a stick.

Yeah. Well, Anne in Newcastle has a supplementary Scarecrow related question. She says, have there been any films featuring Scarecrows apart from The Wizard of Oz?

Well, they aforementioned Wurzel Gummidge. I think they made a feature film out of that. Not certain. I wasn't a big fan of Wurzel Gummidge. Of course, there aren't

that many examples of Scarecrow characters because they don't have a character because they're not real. Batman? Yes. He's a major character in Batman. Yeah, but he's not, yeah he's not a real it's the one killian murphy plays yeah but it's like saying the penguins are penguins not he's a weirdo but has he got straw in his pants there is a mentalist

who dresses up and pulls faces and calls himself the scarecrow but that's not really the same as a scarecrow unless he spends all his time in fields protecting the crops uh well here's a question not from batman but from hope man which is a place uh from billy who's age 15 and lives in hope man wherever that is uh and he says helen answer me this where does the term chickening out come from because i have chickens and they're fairly brave intrepid beings yeah we have got to that part of the show where we do several questions about the courage of birds uh maybe you billy have very confident chickens because it's pretty simple this term which has been around since about 14th century at least is based on the observations that chickens do sometimes run away from things yeah loud noises scary people who could have guessed that one i know but his point though is that they're not the most fearful of creatures like

a mouse for example is famously also very shy and retiring but if he's keeping chickens they're going to be a little bit tamed yes maybe there you could go into their enclosure dressed as a fox and they'd just be like oh yeah that's bill Billy in his fox suit. Try again, wise guy. I see what you mean, yeah. So it's not about your chickens, Billy. It's about chickens as a species. Generally, over time, you could say that they appear to be quite reluctant to engage with the chicken-eating animals.

It's a bit unfair because they're small and they have a lot of natural predators. And same thing with mice. You could say, well, mice aren't very brave, but they are like a tiny fraction of the size of a human being. Yeah. Well, from animals that are scared to things you put up your vagina this is a question from ben uh helen answer me this i just played the word dildo on words with friends words with friends is that kind of scrabble app oh yeah um that's not gonna be many points though those are all one

point letters yes uh what is the origin of such a strange word for such a strange item? Again, not that strange an item, is it? A bit like scarecrows, really. A bit like scared chickens as well. You can see why it happened. If dildos did not exist, there would be a need to invent them. They've got dildos from the Stone Age

and apparently there's... There's stone dildos? Yeah. But there's some dissent amongst archaeologists on the going, no, that's impossible. And other archaeologists going, no, they are for that, really. That's just a fertility shrine.

The phallus was a symbol of power. Like, I went round Pompeii, they were everywhere and they were often like tiny little statues with a huge dong, like bigger than the statue. But no one ever actually mounted the statue, did they? No, but there were dildos for sexual pleasure,

but also dildos were a kind of sacred object before they were a sexy object. Yeah, pagans were well into that, weren't they? And they think that the word was probably a corruption of Italian deletto, which meant delight, or of English diddle, because you're diddling. You're diddling yourself. I also read an incredible thing about the history of vibrators.

Originally, vibrators worked by clockwork like watches, but because that required winding, they thought, we've got to be able to improve this. And so in 1869, they invented a vibrator that was a real breakthrough that was used by steam power but the problem was you had to interrupt uh your sexual pleasure in order to put coals in the burner wouldn't you burn your vagina well there are hazards martin but you know you're pretty likely to die in childbirth so either way but i mean it's interesting that this innovation must have been taking place in societies where these things generally couldn't

be talked about in the time of steam that would have been a very difficult thing to actually bring to an inventor and say right i've got this thing can you fill it with charcoal why uh don't want to talk about it just just make sure it doesn't burn my vag i mean it's quite weird how do you actually get that developed well ollie and i think they were used by doctors because orgasms were a kind of cure and so doctors actually used their hands to give women orgasms because that was good for their mental and physical health so actually for them the invention of vibrators was a medical breakthrough and actually if you look carefully at andrew lansley's health reforms what you don't realize is that it's all about giving power back to the doctors yeah we. We could see this coming back.

But on the other hand, I mean, these steam-powered vibrators, they must have been quite big and expensive mechanisms. They probably weren't in every home. No, I think that's safe to say. It'd be like having an MRI machine in your own home now. Why does God need both a staff and a rod In the 23rd Psalm?

And the founder being Romulus, ain't it odd we don't call the city wrong? My knowledge is too slight, so I think I shall write To answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Here's a question from Steve from London who says, I was brought up in an age when PE teachers would force boys into the showers after games lessons. Me too. Were you? Yeah. You were brought up in the same age as me. I don't think that happened. Happened to me. It happened to

every boy. Really? Yeah, maybe it didn't happen to girls. Yeah. There were certain things you just had to do. One was bring your kit and if you didn't have the whole kit you had to wear something humiliating like just your pants. Yes. And then the second thing that happened afterwards is you had to take your clothes off and get in a shower with all the other boys open with the PE teacher watching. That was absolutely textbook and happened in every school in 1987.

Because the girls never, never bother showering at my school after games because girls don't perspire. That's right, yes. Well, Steve says, as a result, I have no problem

getting undressed and showered in a communal changing room after exercising at the gym. Why would I have any problem with that when I was forced into a shower by a PE teacher? I think lots of boys would have a problem with that,

but I'm glad that you are not encumbered by such problems. For him, it was liberating. Yes, okay, good. However, says Steve, it seems that anyone under the age of 30 was brought up in a gentler age. There you are, 30, you see? That's the watermark, so we share.

You're the watermark. We share. As a result, they are highly embarrassed about undressing in front of people of the same sex. My son has confirmed this and says that no one in his school would dream of doing something as sick as stripping off for a shower in front of everyone.

Younger men in my gym keep their kit on into the shower cubicles and come back with towels wrapped primly around them. God, they're so selfish, aren't they? Then they put their pants on underneath the towel like an auntie at the seaside. So Wally answers me this. Should I, A, take no

notice of their excessive modesty and carry on with my usual routine of sticking my crotch in their face? Yeah, exactly. Cock slap them. He hasn't said

what his usual routine is. It depends what it is. Foot up on the bench slowly drawing his genitals 20 minutes. Or, B, recognise that they might think

they're being sexually harassed by an unsightly old perv and cover up like they do. Or am I asking the wrong people? The people who have no bodily inhibitions at this podcast. We certainly don't do any sports. That's true.

The only point of contact I've got is Zoltanow's parties where I did have to strip off in front of other people because it's a communal changing area. Not for the festival though, right? For the water slides, let's clarify. Martin was performing in the circus tent. And you've never seen such an expansive, skinny, pale, let's clarify. Martin was performing in the circus tent. And you've never seen such an expansive, skinny, pale, tattooed flesh.

So it made me feel less bad about my own physique and I didn't have any qualms about that. I mean, I feel personally, when I'm with people that I know, that it's more embarrassing than when I'm with strangers. With strangers, I'm fine with it. But I do find it weird when I'm with a friend, we've gone swimming and then we're both,

having never seen each other's cocks before, we then just carry on talking as if it's perfectly normal. You should break the talk and just go, by the way, it's like this. Let's get this out of the way. Well, the thing is, I'm very, very short-sighted. So when I'm getting changed, I can't really see other people. That'll be a problem with me, Martin. Well, how close Martin keeps his face to your face.

I mean, the thing is, Steve, if you're sensing discomfort in the room in which you're doing this, obviously stop doing it. I mean, surely you have some instinct for how this is going down in the room. Yeah, turn your crotch to the wall. Does the paranoia about paedophilia play into this, I wonder? Because, you know, if you're 30 as well,

then in the age when we were teenagers, this sort of stuff wasn't as heavily in the newspapers and being discussed and things. But now, if you're talking about a leisure centre changing room, where there are 8, 9, 10, 11, 12-year-old boys getting changed in there as well, I think sometimes people feel reluctant for that reason.

They don't want to feel like they're parading themselves around in front of those boys' parents. Maybe that's part of it. And little girls as well come into boys' changing rooms as well. Yeah, because when my grandad used to take us to the swimming pool, we had to get changed in the men's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was probably very unsettling.

Made you the woman you are today, though, I dare say. I don't mean to sound like a hippie, but it's not really a big deal. I mean, like, nudity doesn't have to be sexual. And certainly if you're, you're toweling off your crotch after a particularly sweaty session, it's not that, it isn't very sexy.

Don't make that value judgment until you've seen it, Martin. I suspect people listening who are from other countries are going to be wondering what the hell is the deal about this? I think because Brits are so prudish, it's an issue when you do see someone

naked and also then there's that exchange of thought like should i just act like this is no big deal but then i look like i'm acting like there's no big deal you know have that constant double think and also ollie do you ever worry that if you're getting changed after a swim or the gym uh that someone come on and say oh i saw you reviewing the papers last night on bbc news yeah possibly nice pubes the thing is with men as well, like, you know, the number one reason that men cite

for having penis extensions is other men in changing rooms, right? Oh, dear. More than anything else. That's sad, isn't it? So that whatever size you are, I reckon there's some,

you know, there's some spectrum where you position yourself and I actually always really love it when you see... When I can see a spectrum of cocks.

No, no, no. When you can show off your muscle penis. No, no, I would say generally I don't know if you agree with me Generally it's true That the men who are walking around Being very buff and parading

Are the ones who have got bigger penises And what I really like Is when a man who has a really tiny conker cock Is walking around like it's a big deal And like completely uninhibited Because I think that's great You do it You go represent for the people

With the really tiny cocks Hello It's only Tom York From out at Radiohead That's great. You do it. You go represent for the people with the really tiny cocks. Hello! It's only Tom York from out at Radiohead. When I'm not caterwauling, oinking, or drawing bleak cartoons, I like to listen to AnswerMeThisPodcast.com to put a smile on my face. Fade out again! I'm back!

I'm fading again. I'm really going now, no surprise. Here's a question from Thomas from Reading who says, I own several audiobooks. Big deal. Of Robert Hardy reading Sherlock Holmes short stories. That sounds quite nice, doesn't it? They're probably close to 20 years old,

and I listened to them many times when I was younger. Oh, okay, so not downloads. And have a lot of nostalgia for them. Recently, I thought I'd like to listen to them again. The problem is, they're all on audio cassette, something which I have no way to play anymore, as my last tape player broke several years ago, and I've not replaced it.

So is this a question about, so how do I listen to, buy a cassette player, go to eBay, not difficult. I've checked online and the only place these particular recordings are available from is the Pirate Bay website. So answer me this, Ollie, given that I already own the recordings

and they're not available from anywhere else, would I be breaking the law if I downloaded them from Pirate Bay? Well, of course you would be technically breaking the law. Yes, of course you would. No, I mean, the way that all of these companies that own any kind of digital copyrighted content want the law to be is that you can't say, I own it, so therefore I should be able to watch it. They want you to, for for example with video games not be able to take your copy of a video game over to your mate's house and play it on their xbox they want everyone to buy their own copy it's like if you had a paper copy

of freedom by jonathan franzen you thought i'd like to read this on my ebook reader yeah you'd still have to buy an ebook yeah yeah different format but I do see his point if it's actually not commercially available that is a slightly different thing he's going to do it anyway but why don't you just get your tapes converted I've still got a tape player in my stereo you can come round

please don't but yeah surely some of your friends have got a Walkman and yes there must be a way you're not being invent of your friends have got a walkman and yes there must be there must be a way just you're not being inventive enough i've got a solution for thomas if he's not willing to look into friends who might still have a tape deck or just to buy a cheap tape player from a shit shop buy an old car that only has tapes yeah my girlfriend's car is probably worth about the same as a secondhand walkman now. So you can have a tape machine and a car.

Here's a question from Derek in Aberdeen who says, I'm stuck in traffic on the way home from work and we're waiting at some traffic lights. It occurred to me that I'd like to punch whoever invented traffic lights in the face. That's not very nice. So Helen, answer me this. How far back into history would I have to go to do this? And what would you do to replace these monstrosities? Why are they monstrosity?

They save lives, traffic lights. Yeah, I would do nothing to replace them. They're a bit frustrating. They basically work, don't they? That's why we still have them. You see, well, I'm a pedestrian, so I'm a traffic light fan. Because they're often what stands in the way of me getting run over by a bus. Yeah, and unlike your country, America, red means red red doesn't mean you can turn right if you feel

like it even if there's no one at the crossing when the light's red obey the bloody rules that's right you sit there queuing like a brit because that's what you do uh i reckon they've been around a long time because is it even from the days of horses and carriages in town centres yeah you'd have to go very far back into history derrick in aberdeen, you'd have to go back to the 10th of December, 1868. Bloody hell. That was when they opened the first traffic light outside the Houses of Parliament. Now that's always going to be a busy intersection, isn't it?

It was a red and a green gas lamp and also wooden arms like a railway signal. It was based on railway signals, which were kind of based on semaphore. It didn't do that well because that was the 10th of December, 2nd of January, it exploded and killed the policeman

that was operating it. Oh, God. So the traffic light after that was scrapped as a scheme. And then a policeman in Detroit thought that would be useful because by then there were a lot of cars. I mean, they introduced it in London

because horse and carriages were becoming such a problem. So, yeah, this police officer, William Pot potts was concerned about the dangerous roads in detroit so effectively just updated that system when was that 1920 before that in america they were using kind of elevated booths so you could look down the street and then the officers in the booths would use semaphore and arm waving to indicate the cars, whether they could go or not, which is an incredibly inefficient system. Now a traffic light's looking so bad to you, Derek. Imprison a man in a booth above the street

to wave his arms all day like an idiot you'd rather, would you? Well, here's a question from Connor from Birmingham, which is equally unpromising, but then the answer to the last one was quite interesting. As long as there's a dead policeman, Olly Mann's interested. He says, we'll wait for it, this is boring. Helen, answer me this. What font is used on UK road

signs? Sorry, did you say something? Is it Comic Sans? There are two fonts that are widely used. Transport Heavy and Transport Medium. I don't recognise either of those from Word. They were adapted from an existing typeface called Accidents grotesque

which is spelled in a very funny way which was the first sans serif font ever to be widely used not a name that you'd want associated with the roadside and then in the late 50s the graphic artist jock kinnear and margaret calvert who were a team that kind of overhauled all of the the traffic and railway signage fonts they updated that font so that it was easy to read at speed. Okay, that makes sense. Yes, not thought about that. And it was first used in 1958 to label the Preston Bypass. Right.

Which is now part of the M6. That was boring. Connor, if you're keen, you can download those fonts and add them to your existing font portfolio. So you can make your own road signs and create accidents. Well, let's draw a curtain upon this scene. Yes. Come back next week for more questions.

But obviously, for there to be a next week, you need to send us your questions via email or phone or Skype. All of our contact details are on our website. AnswerMeThisPodcast.com But hold on. Have we got some news for you, oy vey? Are you all right? Did you just glue your tongue to the top of your mouth with a fruit gum what just happened there helen is i channeled a septuagenarian jew because next week helen we're going to be joined on answer me this by none other

than american comedy legend jackie mason jackie mason is coming on us well actually technically we're going to him because we didn't expect him to come to the flat. No, so many stairs. Yeah, he's old. But we're going to interview Jackie Mason. Fingers crossed, unless he gets something better to do. If you have a question for former rabbi turned comedy star Jackie Mason, then send us that question with the email subject title for Jackie so we know it's for him. Bye!