Answer Me This! - AMT207: Ping-Pong, Gabrielle's Eyepatch, and Babyccino

Episode Date: March 1, 2012

Ping-Pong, Gabrielle's Eyepatch, and Babyccino Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To support sustainable food production, BHP is building one of the world's largest potash mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. What's your favorite bit from the movie The Artist? Answer me this, answer me this. Answer me this, answer me this. That was a joke about silent film. Yes, this week's Answer Me This is going to be entirely meta jokes. Get ready.

Come back! Welcome to the show. We're starting with a question that's about someone who's not been in the public eye for quite some time. Public eye. Well done ollie i i is a clue as to who's in this question which is from rebecca from felix doe who says ollie answer me this surely the reason given on wikipedia as to the origins of gabrielle's eye injury star 90s pop star gabrielle everyone isn't right right and uh she's enclosed a screen grab where it says the eye patch that Gabrielle famously wore. That's right.

During one of her... Dreams may come true. When I'm ready to rise again. No, I think she got rid of it then. No, she had it off by that point. Yeah, just in dreams. It's funny, isn't it, how in the public imagination she was always wearing an eye patch, but actually...

It was a great look. Because in the second album she had the hair going over didn't she third album sunglasses but in summation eye always covered well according to Wikipedia

the eye patch was due to a childhood injury that she suffered at a butlin's resort after being involved in an unfortunate jousting accident during one of the many

live medieval entertainment shows the redcoats were putting on that left her with a lazy eye which soon became iconic now this is no longer on Wikipedia yeah because it's bullshit isn't it medieval entertainment shows the redcoats were putting on that left her with a lazy eye which soon became iconic now this is no longer on wikipedia yeah because it's bullshit isn't it and actually her whole wikipedia page does seem very sanitized because it is very much single releases single releases single releases there's quite a lot to gabrielle she's had quite a topsy turvy life turbulent private life the father of her son is an axe murderer and that usually comes

up in interviews it is public domain knowledge yet not on the The father of her son is an axe murderer And that usually comes up in interviews It is public domain knowledge Yet not on the bastion of information that is Wikipedia I hope you're not suggesting that a record company Might censor the information that's on Wikipedia But it might make people think Oh poor Gabrielle she has suffered I'll buy her records

Yeah maybe Well Gabrielle's own website Does say that she had a childhood injury That left her with a drooping eyelid I thought she was just born with a yeah and in fact other it does seem to be contradictory information out there because she did an interview with the telegraph a few years ago and the journalist there says she was born with a droopy eyelid so there's conflicting information out there but anyway the the main

reason that this is firing off my bullshit detectors helen is because i mean i've never went to butlin's in the 1970s, obviously, because I wasn't born. They weren't renowned for their medieval jousting? That sounds like an American thing, doesn't it? Like a Renaissance fair? Yeah, like in The Cable Guy, when they go to past times. And also, you wouldn't allow a child within several metres of

a jousting match. And if she did get a joust in the eye, she probably would have lost her entire brain and be dead. That's right. And also it probably, bearing in mind Butlins redcoats in the 70s, probably would have been her entire brain and be dead. That's right. And also, it probably, bearing in mind Butlin's red coats in the 70s, probably would have been someone who also went on to fame who'd done it. Brian Conley or Shane Ritchie. If it was Les Dennis what done it,

that would be in the Wikipedia article as well. Well, here's a question from Fabio, who says, Sorry, can we just pause and admire the fact that we have a listener called Fabio? Is it the Fabio? It doesn't say, does it? There are two the Fabios on fabio is it the fabio it doesn't say does it no there are two the fabios on there there's the fabio i'm thinking of and groove rider oh

i was thinking of the one that's on all of the covers of romance novels yeah romance novels from the 90s yeah long hair chisely jaw ridiculous yeah he's the one in the drum and bass combo he's had a very diverse career fabio says in my local park cliss old park in hackney my local park too oh my god let's meet up with groove rider and feed the ducks together they have recently reopened the cafe we know bloody love it big selection of meringues yeah it was a little bit pricey we thought didn't we but basically tasty i mean it's certainly an improvement on what it was before i've actually had a row about this this is celebrity row listeners on twitter with james brown not as in

James Brown But as in He's past the point of rowing About park habits Oh James Brown Our mates with the Gallaghers I used to edit loaded Him

He said That's a good impression Thanks yeah I don't know I've never heard him speak He said that Cliss Old Park was rubbish now Because he wanted to take his sons there

After the footy Because he's such a lad And he couldn't Because it's all come up And they've flushed out All the drug dealers And they're both in glass Exactly And his lads They want a cheeseburger Or a muffin They don't want a because he's such a lad. And he couldn't because it's all come up and they've flushed out all the drug dealers and they're both in class.

And his lads, they want a cheeseburger or a muffin. They don't want a... Chorizo and squids. Yeah, exactly, which is what Helen had. Chorizo and squid sort of brew thing.

Stew. Stew. Yummers. Chickpeas in it. Yeah, he didn't want that. But I said to him, well, sorry, I love it. I live in the area too.

I'm a young media professional. What are you going to do about it? And he got really angry. He said, it's not for wankers like you who is it for then no one else can afford to live near that

apart from wankers like you he's just a he's a fucking ageing young media professional he is he's jealous of you Ollie I know he looks himself in the mirror

and he sees young Ollie man looking at him thinks he's still got the teeth to eat a meringue it's so unfair what you are I once was Fabio continues

they have recently reopened the cafe and sell an item called a baby chino. I don't know what a baby chino is, and they're rather expensive, so I don't want to buy one. It's a steamed milk. Wait. It's a steamed milk. Wait. Okay. So, Ollie, answer me this.

What is a baby chino? It's a steamed milk. Yeah, as Martin said three times, it's steamed milk. It's frothy milk that looks like a cappuccino but most importantly you're not feeding a baby caffeine. That's right. I think it's quite a clever rules by cafes because it means that

mums who like to leave the house and do a thing that they used to enjoy before they were encumbered by children can do it. They can give the child a sophisticated adult looking drink. And pretend they're a colleague and they're out for lunch. Let's talk about our projected sales plan, shall we? They can all sit there with their froth.

This means they're more likely to stay there, spend money, go there in the first place because it gives the impression of being child-friendly. It's essentially the Starbucks answer originally to the Happy Meal, wasn't it? You're going to go, here's something to give your kids that's cheap. In Starbucks, it's free, I believe.

Yes, I was amazed at that. Not in America, though. Just here. Just here, yeah. Which is odd that a customer service thing is better here than anywhere. And if you start them on the baby chinos when they're fresh off the teat,

then you're creating little Starbucks addicts for the future. But here's a question from Ian. He says, I recently watched Kez for the first time. I was fairly confident throughout that the eponymous Kez was not going to live to see the final credits roll. Can we spoil this? Well, it is

from 1969, so I think we're safe. You're right. Kez is dead. Anyone who cares has seen it in the past 43 years. I've not seen it. It's fine. It's spoiled it for me. Thank you, Ian! However, when Kez did eventually snuff it, I was struck by the realism of the dead Kez That child actor David Bradley lifted from the dustbin

And proceeded to swing around the family living room Sounds like a very jolly film Oh it is, yeah It's a big musical number at the end Everyone swings a dead bird around and then they all kiss Instead of a gold walking stick like on Broadway So Ollie, answer me these Firstly, was it a real bird? if so was it really dead yes if so

was it the castrol that played kez of course it bloody was he was one of the finest castrol actors of his generation they couldn't they couldn't waste him doing kez snuff film sure that he was able to attend the baftas of course um no they didn't kill a bird because that would contravene all sorts of regulations if they'd killed a bird specifically for the film. They found a dead bird. And they might have needed to do retakes as well with Kez. Well, Kez was, of course, a trained bird and those are more precious than your average Kestrel.

He was a bloody diva as well. He wouldn't sign the contract that allowed him to be killed. He was very insistent that his billing came first. That's why his name's in the title. His billing, very good. It's more for ducks, though, to be honest. Anyway, so no, it was a real dead bird, but it wasn't Kez. Ken Loach, the director, didn't tell the child actor, David Bradley,

that it wasn't the real Kez. So that's why his emotion is so raw and so real, because the actor had developed a bond with the real Kez during the filming and was genuinely upset, waving its dead body around the room. Well, it is quite a gross thing for any child to do. But it was a dead bird that they'd found, right? Not one they'd killed, especially for the occasion. So it seems.

I wasn't there. I don't know what dark secrets happened in the filming of Kez. I haven't seen the film, but I should imagine that one dead Kestrel looks much like another Kestrel to the layperson viewer. Yes, I'm sure that's right. You're not going to be like, hang on! That's completely ruined the film!

They haven't made up that Kestrel to look the same! Yeah. Also, I mean, I'm not sure I've seen any other examples of 1960s Yorkshire committed to film either. So all of that could be fake as far as I know. I just assumed it was real. It could have all been mocked up in 1985 for all I know. I didn't see it until then.

Conspiracy theorist Olly Mann strikes again. Kez was done on a soundstage next to the moon landings and myra henley directed it if you've got a question then email your question to answer me this podcast at googlemail.com answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com

Here's a question from Alice. So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American Airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America.

We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. A listener from Edinburgh who says, my fiancé was wondering aloud about the origins of the term cold feet. You have such interesting chats.

He says, as we're in the process of planning to get married, I'm sure the query came into her head thanks to putting up with chilly feet in bed. Oh, yes. Yes, that's it. Rather than any reconsideration of our future together. Helen, answer me this. Where did the term having cold feet come from? Well, it's popularly attributed to the novelist stephen crane and his book never heard of him no

me neither maggie a girl of the streets published in 1896 but actually it's been around for way more than that for about 400 years before that it meant that you didn't have any money and so if you were betting you had to retreat from the table you know you had to you had to back away from a card table for instance okay what's that got to do with your feet or getting cold? Well, I guess, you know, if you're in a place betting and then you leave that place, you're no longer near the fire or anything warm. Or there's the heat going on at the table with all the heat from the hot gambling.

Or if you're poor, you couldn't afford shoes because shoes were a very expensive commodity. Yeah, but what's that got to do with backing away from a marriage? Cold feet meant that you were poor. Yes. And then if you were poor, then, you know, you might not be up for doing a bet. you see how these things get into it and then it just came to mean somebody who was retreating from a thing i mean it's kind of yeah okay i mean the analogy sort of

not having the balls not having the metal not being able to step up isn't it getting cold feet in that sense away from the gambling table yeah and also apparently uh the body exerts a fear response where the blood flow is withdrawn from the extremities during extreme stress and fear which would mean your extremities felt colder did you have cold feet and i don't mean i genuinely don't mean did you worry that you were marrying the wrong man i just mean yes because we all know the answer to that that was your first husband right i i mean um third time lucky you know did nerves get the better of you at any point and did you think, I'm not sure I should be doing this? I never had doubts about Martin, but I really hated the process of planning a wedding and having to get married.

But you were really good at it. No, no, I wasn't. And I thought, why am I doing this? And I completely lost sight of what marriage meant to me and what the point of it all was. Right. And so in that sense, yes, but at no point did I think I shouldn't do it

because I thought the problem's not Martin So I might as well carry on So I didn't have that panic That's good, isn't it? Even though I was having such a disagreeable experience The best kind of wedding nerves to have Even though I was having this disagreeable experience I thought, well, at least it's confirmed to me

That I'll put up with it because I like Martin to such an extent Planning a wedding is obviously so stressful For everyone involved well i wonder at what point if a bride doesn't show up on the wedding i'm saying bride it could be a man as well couldn't it be the groom on what point on the day itself if either the bride or the groom doesn't turn up is it called off like if the bride's half an hour late i've been at loads of weddings where that's happened and people even joke about the fact oh cold feet and actually maybe it is but anyway they come and they go through with it because her makeup is unsatisfactory yeah exactly if it goes past an hour i think at that point they'd probably say to everyone okay this is a bit embarrassing but you know would you mind

standing up and milling around for a bit because they're not going to leave you on the pews are they at that point well there's probably another wedding waiting to come in exactly but i still think after an hour like say at 90 minutes if the bride came in then they'd still go ahead with the wedding but i reckon after two hours you've had an hour of standing around after an hour like say at 90 minutes if the bride came in then they'd still go ahead with the wedding but i reckon after two hours you've had an hour of standing around after an hour of sitting around it's over like even if she comes back at that point it's over well it's too obvious isn't it who would want to marry such a tardy woman that's right i mean it's arrogant that level of lateness she's essentially saying my time is more important than all of your time yeah but the thing is that is kind of what the bride's saying when the bride turns up half an hour late

isn't it but everyone's all right with it because they're like well of what the bride's saying when the bride turns up half an hour late, isn't it? But everyone's all right with it because they're like, well, she's the bride. Yeah. Her time is more important than mine. I was on time. You were. And I was very busy on the way to my wedding. You weren't only on time,

you were greeting people as they arrived. You were there first. How do you do? And I was really busy on the mornings, had to make the vegan cakes. Yeah. I love the fact that Alistair from Edinburgh just asked us the origins of this phrase

and we've treated the question as if he said, my fiance is about to leave me. What should I do? Well, we've got to interpret these things as we may. Well, here's a question from Farmer Bert from the Peak District. Evocative. Who says, Helen, answer me this. Why is the game ping pong called ping pong?

Because it doesn't make a ping pong noise. It is called ping pong because it makes a ping pong noise. It sort of does make a ping pong noise. Oh, shit, Bert. Quite hard to think how, I mean, you could call call it but that's just not very easy to write down one of its early names was whiff whaff as well i remember that do you no yeah because um i don't i don't know i'll tell you why in the 1890s no i wasn't but of course boris johnson was and he um he made that speech didn't he at the olympics he went to um he went to beijing right

and he said, we're very proud that the Olympics is coming back to the home of whiff-waff. And that's because it's a British sport, ping-pong. It's like some sort of farting-based game. You could waft the fart away with the bat. Ping-pong was invented by Victorians as an after-dinner entertainment, and they did it on the table, and they made a little barrier out of books as the net, and they used a cigar box lid as the paddle and a champagne cork as the ball oh but

that's not that bouncy a champagne no well that's why it got replaced by a ball when someone went to america and discovered ping pong balls discovered aerodynamics well they discovered celluloid and thought that's a better material for a ball because you can make it round whereas a champagne cork is a very difficult shape. But the point of adapting your dining table if you've got one into the table for ping pong I mean, Ikea still sell kits that let you do that. Yeah, you could probably make it into a billiards table as well.

Actually, it probably was the billiards table with a net over it, wasn't it? Oh yeah, it probably was. But apparently the name ping pong was far too feminine for men to play so that's why they had to pretend it was called table tennis. Ah. Yeah.

What's the longest you've ever spent playing ping pong? Well, I think about the time it took the ball to whiz over the table for me to miss it. Yeah. What's that? Less than a second. Yeah. How do you do? I'm Jackie Mason, and I'm the guy that was a big hit just now

on the Helen and Ali show. But I tell you the truth, after speaking to them, I think they are fantastically intelligent people and you'll be very impressed with them. Why I'm not impressed with them, I don't know. Right, well, last week we had an internationally renowned comedian on the show. This week we've got some of you drunk calling us up. And drunks and soberists alike, if you want to give us a call, here's the number.

0-2-0-8-1-2-3-5-8-double-7 Or you can Skype answer me this if you can hit the keys accurately enough. Let's see who's been in touch this week. Hi, it's Beth and Bea from Lewis. Helen and Ollie asked me this. What happens to the money that people put in the fountains at Trafalgar Square? It goes up to money heaven Does it?

With Queen Victoria I bet it doesn't I bet there's an elderly man with a specially adapted rake or something who gathers it Why elderly? Because it feels like a relic You know, in a few years' time we'll all be using our phones to pay with things You know, we'll be using Google Wallet or something We'll be throwing our credit cards into the air.

Exactly. Or there'll be a PayPal micropayments facility in one of the lion's mouths on Trafalgar Square. Well, I don't know if the man or woman who does it is old, but they have a very important job, Helen, because they are creating revenue for the Greater London Authority. Oh, really? And presumably that goes into restoring the fountains

after he's stuffed a bit of it into his pocket and told no one. You wouldn't want to do that because that water is probably riddled with germs. I was reading about the Met in New York where they've got, I think, several fountains now to grab people's money. It's weird. It's so weird. And they rake that out once a week

and they have to clean all of it. It's a bit of a pain. You'd think that would probably cost more than the coinage that people have thrown in there. Because you can't even put a high denomination in if you're in America, because that's paper money. The thing that I always find weird is when you go to Disneyland and there's people throwing money into It's a Small World. It's a metaphor. Yeah, exactly.

You've paid $60 to come in here. What are you throwing more money at them for? It's sort of superstition, I suppose. It feels lucky. I know it doesn't work or anything, but... What do you mean? Look at the incredible life you have. That's true, actually. Beautiful life. Lovely job.

Stop complaining, Martin. Ten guitars. All your dreams have come true. Lovely head of hair. That's true, actually. The act of chucking the coins in the fountain is kind of ancient thing. The Greeks used to do it as an offering to the Nyads. Is there any point in ancient Greece in a day where you weren't

offering something to the gods the problem with Greek gods is that there are loads of them which means there's always one that's

angry at you and needs to be appeased so you think okay I've done the ox yeah I've cut off my hair I've killed my firstborn oh the Nyads

are gonna get me shit found a fascinating fact about the Trafalgar Square fountains yeah they were installed

by the Victorians Not for beauty What? But why? But why? I know the reason why And it's good Was it drinking water?

No Was it for flushing toilets with or something? No, that would be a good Victoriana type fact But it's not that Was it pumping water out of the embankment? No, think about Trafalgar Square now And what it's used for now Feeding pigeons

No, keep going Tourists. Keep going. Funny concerts. Nearly, yeah. Funny concerts for what? Pink did a thing and T-Mobile filmed it. Oh, God.

No, it's used for riots, isn't it? And protest politics. Awesome. People use it for gatherings, right? And they thought, you know what we need before we get kettled? Fountains and some cherubs in them. Yes. What?

Yes. What? The fountain actually has a tiny little police station in it. What the shit? Yeah. There's a police post inside a granite column in the corner of the fountain, which linked at the day directly to Scotland Yard. Stop dicking with me.

Honestly, and it had slots through which people could fire on rioters. And if you want to pick off a few pigeons without telling anybody. I want to take things further Just one step short of murder I want to look like Olly Mann I want to smell like Olly Mann I want to feel like Olly Mann I want to chase like Olly Mann I want to look like Olly Mann I want to chase like Olly Mann I want to look like Olly Mann

Well, here's a question from Andy from Newport, who says, there are some really bad movies made that were released to the world, but Ollie, answer me this. What is the biggest box office failure of all time? Wow, okay. People will always say that it's Cutthroat Island.

But that actually made money. I know it was high budget at the time. The Geena Davis film, there was a pirate ship. Basically, what happened, I've heard a really in-depth interview island but that actually made money i know it was high budget at the time the gina davis film there was a pirate ship basically what happened i've heard a really in-depth interview with renny harlin the director about this on a podcast i listened to called kcrw's the business which is a hollywood podcast an ollie man pick uh it is very good if you're interested in that sort of thing and he does a long like 40 minute explanation as to why even though everyone says this is the most loss-making box office failure of all time that it lost 139 million dollars in inflated terms now um that it didn't get over it

it was ages ago now well to be fair he hasn't made that many films since so he's still paying for it slightly he's never made a film that allows him to make more films now yeah um he said it made loads more money back on dvd and telly sales and stuff afterwards the point where it's almost broken even now and b the studio that uh financed it they were going bust anyway they basically went into administration before the marketing got done for the film so he basically said well if they can't pay for the marketing no one's going to go and see an action film in which the main character is female as gina davis playing a pirate no one's going to go and see a woman in an action film unless you market the hell out of it and they'd always depended all along on being a big marketing budget which wasn't there that sounds like

horseshit i remember it being very heavily marketed here and everyone said but it's bad and yeah i think it probably is quite bad but also how do you work out a flop because a film that flopped years ago it might have made a few thousand back on a 30 million budget. But now film budgets are so huge. So, you know, do you do it by proportion of what was made as opposed to what was spent? And if so, therefore, if you made a film for a thousand pounds and no one went to see it, so you made nought, would that be the biggest flop? Well, the generally accepted way of measuring this, although I think this is fair because it doesn't involve DVD sales,

is about the amount of dollars that it lost that are between what it cost to make and then you know what it recouped to the box office uh so number one on that scale is cutthroat island and that's by the way whether you adjust it for 2012 prices or not then um there's one called the alamo with dennis quaid and billy bob thornton only a million behind and then battlefield earth which is john Travolta being terrible about Scientology And then Raise the Titanics in there as well in that list That was the film about which

Lou Grade famously quipped it would have been Cheaper to lower the Atlantic That was a great show That people from the 70s always say There was a film that Uma Thurman was in called I think Motherhood and that had a budget Not a big budget by today's standard, but about £10 million. And on its opening night in England, it made £9.

Christ. Not recouping well. Here's another entertainment question from Harry from Birmingham, who says, Ollie, answer me this. Do the guys on channels like E4... The guys. The guys, the lads, who do the voice for the bits in between TV shows saying what's coming up. Do it live or not.

And so, is there a person hired just to do this? Yes, unthinkable as it is, there is a continuity answer and they are hired just to do that seemingly trivial job of linking between things. And yet it means that if suddenly the programme fails, they go, oh, I'm terribly sorry, there

appears to be a problem with the transmission, but we will return to The Simpsons shortly. But I can see that happening for the BBC. They would be very posh like that, wouldn't they? But if it's like Viva, we've got a show coming up for you on Viva. How would they respond to a technical problem? I didn't know you moonlighted for Viva, Martin.

Oh, the voice of the youth speaks. You're absolutely right, yes. Some of the digital channels, they don't have live continuity announcers, but they're still hiring someone to do it. Voice of the youth speaks. You're absolutely right, yes. Some of the digital channels, they don't have live continuity announcers, but they're still hiring someone to do it. It is all done on tape. So they just go into a room at the beginning of the week,

record a couple of hours of continuity links, and then someone plays them out. Jackson Lee. Helen and Ollie, I'm just going to film with the barbershop quartet. Why aren't four men singing in harmony called the barbershop quartet? Well, people used to gather in barbershops and sing. So the barbershops were like a community centre because the men could go there and get away with the singing. While they were having their haircut?

No, I think people would just hang out at the barbers. Like in South London, often you'll pass hairdressers at about midnight and it will still be absolutely rammed with people and you think, is there something suspicious going on but they're just just hanging out so i think it kind of originated um in barbershops for african-american men who probably didn't get many chances to socialize in the racist bits of america they've got lindy hopping in the 1800s but while they were waiting for their haircuts they had a sing to pass the time they harmonised with each other

and that's where the style of music came that is really interesting because I think of barbershop quartet as being a very white style I don't think of it

as being a black style like all good things in music the white people came and nicked it that is really interesting apparently barbershop kind of died out a bit

in about 1920 because radio came in and dance bands came in and then you know the tunes were more for one vocalist and poor old barbershop relegated. Well, now we've got master composers like Will.i.am. We don't need harmony, do we?

Ollie's really angry at Will.i.am at the moment, guys. That song's just so awful, my God. I don't know which one you're talking about. So many to choose from. It's the one that's ostensibly all about getting a boner and it's got Mick Jagger on it. Actually, I'm making it sound great. It's not great.'s ostensibly all about getting a boner and it's got Mick Jagger on it. Actually I'm making it sound great it's not great. That sounds like every

Rolling Stones song. Mick Jagger, J-Lo he's in a fake aeroplane, he's leaping over concrete slabs. No, no, but Helen's describing the video which is quite exciting. You watch the video and you almost don't notice that the song is such a terrible dirge that you need to check yourself into some sort of clinic to recover afterwards. It's fucking awful. They used to be a proper rapping group, didn't they?

That was a long time ago, Martin. Since then they've been busy remixing the theme from Dirty Dancing and stuff. Classic rap lines like here we come, here we go, wop, wop, wop, wop. Wow. Up and down, round and round.

Wheels on the bus. I don't know about you, listeners, but sometimes I reach the end of a podcast with a wanton craving for more. In such moments, I confess, I have recourse to the Answer Me This app on the iPhone and additionally in times of dire need, Android, upon which I have indulged in the weekly bonus material and over three hours of best bits.

Here's a question from Maria from Hong Kong, who says, I live in Hong Kong. Ollie, you should visit, and I'll take you to Hong Kong Disneyland. Yay! I'm not sure about that. You want to go to all the Disneyland's though, don't you? Isn't that your lifetime's ambition? No, because they're all the same.

I can go to the one that's near me. There's one near you. Yeah, there's one in Haringey now. Very convenient. And then you can pop into the Edmonton Ikea on the way home. Helen, answer me this. Did you ever do a Myers-Briggs personality test to find out your personality type no until we received this question and now I have done

actually I did two and they came up with differing results okay so according to one I am the architect and intp but according to the other I am the craftsman I-S-T-P You can't put the letters after your name anyway Whether you want to be an architect or not So I wouldn't worry too much about it The thing is the craftsman and the architect Are very dissimilar seeming characters The craftsman sounds like a surf dude twat

And the architect sounds like Asperger's Well the thing is the questions that it was asking Because I did this test as well It only offers you yes or no And sometimes there is a grey area Exactly or things where I actually agree with both So like one of the questions was At work I am A relationship focused

Or B task oriented Depends if your girlfriend's there or not Well it's just like you can be task oriented In a way that involves relating to people Yes exactly I prefer someone who is A empathetic Or B efficient I like people who are both thank you but if you're getting your car serviced you

probably care more about it being done by an hour hence than by somebody understanding your personal turmoil although i would like the person who's actually doing the bill at quick fit to be very empathetic of my credit card situation i'm going to describe the craftsman to you and see if this rings any bells the craftsman shows little interest in developing language skills but seeks fun and games on impulse looking for any opportunity to play with their various toys cars motorcycles boats dune buggies hunting rifles fishing tackle scuba gear and so on fishing tackle and no interest in language this sounds so much like you they thrive excitement. Particularly the rush of speed racing, water skiing and surfing. And crafters are fearless

in their play, exposing themselves to danger again and again. For the architect, there are some things that I think you're going to enjoy. It is difficult for an architect to listen to nonsense, even in a casual conversation, without pointing out the speaker's error. Okay, yeah, that sounds like you. I came out as the advocate.

Oh, yeah. What does that involve? ENFP. Loves avocados. It says, my primary function is extroverted intuition. I'm not surprised.

They actively send their thoughts and ideas out into the world as a way to bring attention to what they feel might be important. Well, fancy that. Which often has to do

with ethics and current events. No, not in this case. And then at the bottom, it compares you to celebrities that have got the same category as you. Apparently, Andy Kaufman is an advocate and Bill Cosby. And also, this is really weird, Ariel from The Little Mermaid. That's not a real person.

I doubt that the writers of The Little Mermaid made Ariel sit a personality test. So how do they know? Who sat these tests for Bill Cosby and the late Andy Kaufman? Yeah, it seems unlikely, doesn't it? But I think what I would say with my expressive intuition, Maria, is that this test sounds a bit flawed. I mean, this doesn't really have that much more weight

than the ones that are in the backs of women's magazines about whether you're more a handbag or a lipstick. Well, whether you're a handbag or a lipstick or perhaps an eyeliner. Oh, we don't want any eyeliners getting in touch with the show. All types are welcome, Helen. Then you can get in touch and ask us a question for a future edition of Answer Me This. We'd very much like it if you did.

That's true. And all of our contact details, the email address, the Skyping, the phone, are listed on our website, AnswerMeThisPodcast.com where you can also find, and new listeners might not know this the first 80 episodes of our show so the first two years worth of the show is there if you've worked through our free back catalog it's there on our website you need much more helen slapping her arm like a heroin addict i can't get the vein up too many blood donations it's collapsed you wouldn't want

to put a podcast in there no i don't really want to put a podcast anywhere in my body. No. They're not made for digital files. Yet. Future generations will have an automatic docking system. And you think about that. Don't Google automatic docking. And we'll see you next week.

Bye!