Answer Me This! - AMT208: Big Bird, Toothpaste and the Earl of Sandwich

Episode Date: March 8, 2012

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To support sustainable food production, BHP is building one of the world's largest potash mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. How many votes did Putin cast for himself? Has to be this, has to be this. Will I lose my benefits if I don't stack a shelf? Has to be this, has to be this. Last week, Ollie sat a Myers-Briggs personality test that told him that he was, as he suspected, just like the Little Mermaid.

Well, Adam from Hemsworth says the Little Mermaid was a woman, right? Well, debatably, she's a fish. That's right, half woman, right? Well, debatably, she's a fish. That's right. Half woman, half fish. Yeah. So that must mean she had a period every month. Her lower half was fish. That's right.

Fish don't have periods in the conventional human way. It's hard to know when a mermaid's rich puberty, isn't it? And it would also have been hard, I think, for Disney to have designed a character that they could have commoditized as a soft toy across the world if it had the face of a fish and the legs of a girl. She says that if we take this to be true... Which we don't, because it's a fantasy, it's a fairy story, it's a cartoon as well.

Then how did the Little Mermaid ever escape getting eaten by sharks? The masses of blood would have surely attracted sharks from miles away, which would tear her limb from limb. Okay, but the Little Mermaid is most popularly associated with Denmark, right? You know, there's the statue of her in Copenhagen. Not sure there are shark-infested waters around there. They've got giant squids. I'm not sure they have singing crabs in Denmark, though.

I saw a lot of Blue Planet and I didn't see a single singing crab in that, but maybe it was just the Foley effect to not reflect the crab's true voice. I don't think the Little Mermaid had periods when she was in the sea because she had a tail. She didn't have a vagina. Yeah, I think that's right. Because she had a tail, she didn't have a vagina Yeah, I think that's right She didn't poo either

Would this have been an issue for any other half-man, half-beast type creatures? I'm thinking the minotaur here No, he was alright, he had orifices Yeah, but what's the deal there? Did he have head of a bull and then body of a man? But I'm just saying, you don't worry about this, do you, when you're studying mythology? They've all got sexual and excretion parts Yeah, so actually the little mermaid's quite unusual

in being a half-beast that doesn't have human bodily functions. But that's the problem when you're half-mammal, half-fish. Yeah. You know, if you're half-mammal, half-mammal, you've probably got... Right, similar. ...a sufficient complement... That's right, yeah.

...of reproductive and excretion organs. Yes. There's a lot more of that, isn't there? Actually, that would have been great had the minotaur done some poos that Theseus stepped in when he was making his way around the labyrinth. Well, here's another fairy

tale from Sean from Edinburgh, who says, for the past few weeks, I've been emailing a man in London through work. Today, I googled his name for reasons I myself am not quite sure of, and it turns out, he's a former member of the band Toploader.

Woo! Touched by celebrities. Last week, Gabrielle. This week, Top Loader. We're only two steps away from a one-hit wonder of the mid-90s. You were in any case covering someone else's song

from the 60s. I mean, I was really hoping for one of the long pigs. Anyway, answer me this, Oli. How do I let him know that I know and tell him how happy I am to be chatting to him

without coming across as a huge stalker too late for that the stalking has already happened all you've done is google him i mean that's standard practice across every social interaction and business now isn't it you don't meet anyone without googling them if you're interested in them in any way so i don't think it's weird actually just to come out and say hey man i was googling you i can't believe you're in top lady that's brilliant that's not weird that's not stalkerish that's fine isn't it well no i think it is a bit weird it's been we don't know what the nature of sean's business is if it's someone he's selling bathroom tiles to it's too much if it's someone who's looking for career rehabilitation then yes

finding out that he used to be in top loader and no longer is because they're now a four piece and they were a five right apparently they had a new album out last year i missed it yes yeah i missed that the cranberries have got a new album out as well. I missed it. Yes, yeah, I missed that. The Cranberries have got a new album out as well. Oh, really? I only knew that because I walked past HMV and I heard, coming through the speaker, and I was like, oh, Cranberries back then. I understand what you're saying, that it's a bit weird to mention it to him, but that's only because actually he was in the public eye.

If he wasn't, if, for example, he Googled him and he found out that he designs awesome prints of camels, if he said oh i googled you and that's really cool that that stuff you do with camel prints you're top of the game on the camel prints then that wouldn't be weird would it so you're only saying it's weird because he used to be a celebrity and bearing in mind that used to be a fairly minor celebrity and he isn't anymore i still don't think it's that weird i think it's fine well you could start hinting you could say so did you ever have an interesting job maybe maybe in a band? A top loader would probably be glad of the attention.

Hi, Helen and Ollie. It's Sam, currently in a jury's inn at Heathrow Airport. Rock and roll. Answer me this. What's toothpaste made of? Are we to infer that this jury's inn does not have adult channels on the television? Or it does, and he's wondering

whether he can use toothpaste as a lubricant. Oh, I wouldn't if I were you. If you let it dehydrate, it'll just turn to powder. And that will, if anything, make the lubrication even worse. Right. Good to know. Good. Well, I haven't tried it.

This is just my scientific assessment. What is toothpaste made of? Fluoride. 20% to 42% water and 50% abrasives. Like things just to make it... Well, it's just sort of scratching the plaque and crap off your teeth. What's that made from? Like bits of broken glass?

Well, like bicarbonate of soda. It's essentially like bicarbonate of soda or salt but now they might use different chemicals than salt and then yeah fluoride it's mind-boggling though isn't it the manufacturing process like how do you get fluoride as well but that doesn't really tell you anything does it saying it's got fluoride i don't know where to get fluoride from with their fluoride mine yeah but luckily you're no longer in the toothpaste manufacturing business like you were as a young man toothpaste is not really better than just using bicarbonate of soda or salt you could just use those well my dentist told me that if i was out of toothpaste just use water yeah clean your teeth just the same as long as you're

getting a thorough brushing the brushing is more important than the paste and do you know do you know that herbal toothpastes often contain myrrh? I didn't. Nor did I. Isn't that funny? That would be useful if anyone brings my child a present when it's born, thinking it's the Messiah. I'll have something to do with it.

Yes. I was recently watching a documentary about the survivors of the crash that was immortalised in the book and film Alive. Did they stay at the jury's in Heathrow? They don't go near airports now. They had a tiny dab of toothpaste For pudding Because they didn't have much else to eat

For pudding after eating someone's arm You need something to take the taste away Yeah, just a little palate cleanser It's funny how something like toothpaste can become a treat In the right circumstance A mate of mine Has his Christmas party every year I don't think it's the jury's in.

I think it's the Marriott in Heathrow. Why? Isn't that depressing? Does he really like airports? Some people love being where planes are. It's not his decision. He works for a company that runs buildings, and I think their head office is near Heathrow.

Oh, okay. So when you say his Christmas party, you don't mean the one that he chooses to throw for all his friends? Oh, yeah, yeah. He doesn't invite us all to Wetherspoons at Heathrow, yeah. Guys, I found the best place. Love it. Love it.

When he told me, I was like, what are you having your Christmas party where? And he was like, yeah, it's really good because the company can afford to get everyone, they put loads of money behind the bar and they can afford for everyone to stay there because it only costs like 30 quid a night. And at the end, you go and pick something off the baggage cart

and it's like getting a present. I've got a question. Then email your question. Do answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com The new BMO

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Get your ticket to more with the new BMO VI Porter MasterCard. And get up to $2,400 in value in your first 13 months. Terms and conditions apply. Visit bmo.com slash viporter to learn more. Okay, it's a question about balancing your home budget and financial responsibility now. That sounds fun, doesn't it? Bad way to sell it, Ollie. Let's come to the right place.

Okay, everybody, get out your checkbooks and let's balance them for the week. We're a That's Your Right podcast, did you not know? It's from Carol in London who says... A man, Carol, let's emphasise. A man, Carol, from Eastern Europe with a K. Yes. I'm assuming he's from Eastern Europe.

No, no, it's a good point. You're right. I've got the name in front of me. The listeners don't have that benefit. No. He says, After several months of happily living together, my girlfriend and I have recently decided

to stop splitting the costs of food, bills, or even clothes between us and start paying for everything from a joint budget. I thought he was going to say, and stop eating or wearing clothes. Our salaries differ, but we were fed up with saving all the receipts and working out who will eat the most pasta

and drink the most milk. Oh, for God's sake, you're not house sharing like when you're just living with friends or strangers. Tell you what we'll do, Helen. We'll put a special chart in the middle of the table and we'll work out mathematically which of us is the more anal.

It has worked out quite well so far. Except we no longer love each other. But there is, Carol says, one slight flaw. You reckon? How are we supposed to buy each other presents if, for example, I know that half, or to be more precise, circa 65% of what she has bought me has been paid for with the money I earned myself.

I don't think that is the only problem with this arrangement, but carry on. We tried establishing a £50 gift fund each of us can spend every month or so. That's too many presents. But it's quite artificial. You made this situation! It's artificial because of you, Carol!

And doesn't seem to be very practical. Well, it's failing in every single way then, isn't it? It's neither romantic, nor natural, nor practical. So what is it doing? It's a rod for your own back. Also, she, my girlfriend, has a much larger family with a lot of small children I've never seen in my life and don't really intend to buy expensive gifts for.

You don't need to buy expensive gifts for children. Give them a stick and just throw it into the woods. No, Martin. Children aren't like Labr expensive gifts for children. Give them a stick and just throw it into the woods and they'll dress up. No, Martin. Children aren't like Labrador Retrievers. So Helen, answer me this. How do married couples go about this issue? I can't speak for every married couple. I think you can do better than Carol can.

I'm just going to speak using sense. Stop making your life so difficult. Okay, why don't you have a joint account for things that you share? So food, bills, cleaning products, not clothes, not gifts, not things that you do separately. Maybe sometimes going out together to a restaurant where you split the bill. Not if you're like, well, I'm going on holiday with my friends

and I'll spend our money while I'm there, shall I? Bye-bye. No, just like, you're making a problem for yourself with this gift. This doesn't need to be a problem. You don't have to have just one bank account. You've made this very binary. It's don't have to have just one bank account. You made this very binary. It's not like either you have a joint bank account. Or you're hiding things from each other

and you don't trust the relationship and it's not going to work. I think we're all singing from the same spreadsheet here. We've all got our own bank accounts, right, as well? Yeah. Yes. But we also have shared accounts with other people for business or personal means.

That's normal. Yes. Get paid into your personal account then you use a thing called direct debit. Maybe Martin and I are missing a trick though because obviously i spend a lot more time in the house than he does because i work from home yet i buy the toilet paper with our mutual funds so maybe he should be counting each sheet out and going okay well you've used two thirds of the sheets therefore you need to put in more i mean this is the kind of situation carol

came from where he and his girlfriend were that officious. Why had they come from a difficult situation and replaced it with an equally difficult one? What Helen doesn't realise is when she's out, I wrap myself in toilet paper and walk around like a mummy. Actually, you don't. You just shit a lot. You do end up having these sorts of thoughts, though, don't you? No, because my relationship is pleasant. It's not a rod for my own back.

No, no, but, like, OK, the other day, just to put Carol's case, the other day, my girlfriend went is pleasant. It's not a rod for my own back. No, no, no, but like, okay. The other day, just to put Carol's case, the other day my girlfriend went to Sainsbury's and spent, I think, 68 pounds on food. Out of that, because I was away for the weekend, I have eaten half a pot of couscous, about half a pot of hummus, and half a cucumber. She's had the other 64 pounds of that.

However... However, I've seen you and your girlfriend eat and I reckon you've made up for that many other times in your life. Well, this is the thing. This is what I think. And I'm at home most of the time. So I usually, when we go out shopping together,

I usually then eat 70% of that. But the thing is, it does go through your head. I do do that calculation. I'm not proud of myself, but I do think how much value have I had from my 34 pounds there? Well, you're thinking of the joint account, wrongly Ollie,

because joint accounts, are pretend money. I thought that I would never love again. Oh no! I went on to the internet and then, What then? I found a a place where all true love lasts here's a question from jordan from south wales who says i got told that in the film E.T. there was a child inside the suit.

So Ollie answered me this, was there a child inside E.T.? There's a child inside all of us when we watch E.T. Quite an innocent character, isn't E.T.? Yeah, yeah. No, there wasn't a child. Was there a really tiny, shriveled, old man?

If by that you mean dwarf, yes. There was a dwarf? There was a dwarf. Man with no legs, apparently, played E.T. Jesus. Yeah, isn't that amazing because i just i'd never thought about it i suppose i thought et was a puppet an animatronic yeah yeah but there are scenes in which et is walking along and obviously the technology involved in making that happen with an animatronic is a lot easier just to get a dwarf inside the suit that was after they'd made star wars wasn't it so presumably they had to locomote yoda in a similar sort of way there's a range of techniques going on so everything's

there puppetry animatronic digital effects you know Well, there's a range of techniques going on, so everything's there. Puppetry, animatronic, digital effects, you know, there's shots where it's just E.T.'s hands, and apparently they actually had a professional mime artist just do his hands, because they're so expressive. And an old woman doing his voice, and a dwarf with no legs inside the costume. We recently learned a very interesting

bit of puppet animatronic business. You know the film Return to Oz? Very frightening. I do, although I haven't seen it since I was about seven because it did make me crap myself then. It is still scary now. Really good. Really good. Better than the original.

It's not better than the original. It is better than the original. No, it is. The original is one of the all-time classic films. It's not one of the all-time classic films. Yes, it is. It's kitsch. In objection, it is.

It's just kitsch. Oh, okay. So if it's kitsch, then it must be rubbish. That's the definition of kitsch. It means rubbish in German, Ollie. Come on. Stay on the same page. Really? Kitsch means rubbish kitsch, then it must be rubbish. That's the definition of kitsch. It means rubbish in German, Ollie. Come on. Stay on the same page. Really?

Kitsch means rubbish? Yeah, it's German for rubbish. Good fact, Martin. Thank you very much. But TikTok in that film, you remember the kind of spherical... Frightening robot. He's not frightening. He's friendly.

He's all spherical. How can he be frightening? He's like a wrecking ball, but a friendly man. Anyway, he moves very slowly, and he's shorter than Farooza Balk, the child that plays Dorothy Gale. Inside, spherical TikTok, is an upside down acrobat

with his arms down TikTok's legs. Christ. And I think he's operating his head and neck using his feet. So ridiculous like that. Well, he's walking backwards as well. So he's not facing the direction he's moving. Isn't that just the most infernal job?

Another E.T. fact for you. Oh yeah? ford was in it in et yeah in the puppet not in the puppet well i don't know maybe backstage who knows what happened harrison ford played drew barrymore uh and spielberg cut him in post-production wow because he was rubbish well just not necessary because it was unnecessary to the story he was the headmaster at elliot school but i mean you've got to have some balls to cut Harrison Ford. Only Steven Spielberg could cut Harrison Ford, I reckon. You know, sometimes you've got to serve the story. And he was right, because E.T. is a film that's done quite well.

I think Steven Spielberg's done Harrison Ford enough favours in his career to get him on the device. He says, I'll make it up to you, Harrison, with your own trilogy. Here's another question of puppetry, of all things, from Chris from Cardiff, Australia, who who says for the last eight months or so there's been a raging debate going on amongst my friends at university how do we solve the israeli iranian conflict should the catholic church allow gay marriage is big bird off sesame street a muppet students some of my friends say that he is because he was made by the jim henson company what loads of things were made by the jim henson company they're nothing like my yoda uh i don't

think he is because muppet is a technical term describing a hybrid of marionettes and traditional puppetry and that clearly doesn't apply to a man named carol dressed in a bird costume yeah okay i mean you've obviously thought about this quite a lot Well they've had eight months to think about it When they should have been doing their degrees There's not an official answer on this It's not important? Partly And also because it gets kind of complicated with Muppet rights Because

What, there's like apartheid in Muppets? That's right, yeah Bears on one side of the street Fuzzy ones on one side, smooth ones on the other other exactly no because the sesame street characters are still owned by is it children's workshop i think who produced the tv show television workshop right whereas the muppets as a brand are now owned by disney so it's kind of complicated i don't think disney do have rights to big bird they don't want him no but originally yes i'd say big bird was a muppet because when children's television workshop came along they commissioned jim henson the studio to make puppets

for the show which included kermit the muppets then got their own show but they're still muppets i think a lot of people would say that the count on sesame street is a muppet wouldn't they exactly and yeah it's muddy water because kermit appears in both muddy waters is definitely not a muppet he was a blues musician um so yeah i'm gonna say yes a muppet even though he's not a puppet he's just a dress a birdie dress let's put it this way if i created a puppet now that was a bit of a marionette and a bit of a puppet or whatever uh chris says and i said right i've created a new muppet you can bet i bloody haven't you can bet some lawyer from the Walt Disney Company is going to make damn sure that I cannot call that

a Muppet although I haven't read this for about 20 years but when I was a kid I was really into this stuff and I did read a biography of Jim Henson I'm pretty sure

I don't remember any business about marionettes and puppets this sounds to me like it's a backronym this sounds like something that he's found on the internet people explaining

why Muppets are called Muppets I bet Jim Henson just called them Muppets because he thought it sounded funny. Yeah, good name. Sounds like puppets. Kids are like that. Simple as that.

So, yeah. If it would sell more lunchboxes, Big Bird would be a Muppet. Well, this is what I was going to say. So if I created a puppet, it couldn't be a Muppet. But if Big Bird went to court, no one's going to say, you're not a Muppet.

Do you know what I mean? It's just, yeah, of course it's a Muppet. It's part of the Jim Henson family of creatures. It's a Muppet. But not everything out of the Jim Henson workshop equals Muppet. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, of course it's a Muppet. It's part of the Jim Henson family of creatures. It's a Muppet. But not everything out of the Jim Henson workshop equals Muppet. Correct. The creatures from Labyrinth. The big robot. Not Muppets.

Yeah. Well, I'd say the ones that clearly are Muppets are Muppets. Some of the Muppets in Labyrinth are Muppets. Why haven't David Barry? Yeah, especially David Barry. Jennifer Connelly's eyebrows. I never liked Big Bird terribly much. No, I didn't. I don't liked Big Bird terribly much No I didn't I don't like Miss Piggy either

No well okay I don't want to upset you They're very different though Miss Piggy Spunky Big Bird How do you finish with her mate Big Bird

Hectoring Yeah Judgmental Busybody Busybody exactly And actually I quite like Busybody characters Like I used to like Sue

In Sooty Well that's because You found her voice sexy It was kind of sexy But also I just quite like she was a disciplinarian, but she knew how to have fun on her own terms. Like Anne Robinson. But Big Bird just comes and ruins the fun.

Yeah. You know, it was like Cookie Monster's there, Oscar the Grouch is there, Elmo's there, and then Big Bird's like, let's try counting. It's like, ah. Bringing education into it, ruining the fun. That's the counting that does the counting, isn't it? You can't pin all the education on Big Bird.

There's a lot of enablers in that. Big Bird is often the catalyst. If you look at who made this conversation boring, it's often Big Bird. It's your mum, isn't it? But dressed as a puppet. It's your mum pretending to have fun. That's what Big Bird is.

I feel sorry for Big Bird. I feel like she must be quite lonely. You think Big Bird's a she? Isn't Big Bird... is it a he? I always assumed it was a he I haven't seen it for a long time But yeah, I think it is a he Does Big Bird lay eggs?

Hello, I'm a recorder What could be worse than a room full of 30 children Each playing me? A, a week without answering me this B, the new Evanescence album. C. Nothing, of course! Okay, this is in from Ryan from Carnegie. He says, before last Christmas...

I gave you my heart. Why didn't he just say in October or whatever? I suppose he's trying to imply this was a long time ago. Okay. My neighbour said she would make me one of her amazing cheesecakes. Amazing is in capital letters. I was trying to convey that.

Oh, must be good then. She will be moving soon and I've yet to see head nor tail of this cake. That's because cheesecakes are usually round. Don't have heads or tails. Unless there's a rat in it.

Amazing. So Helen asked me this. Is there some way I can remind her without sounding rude uh you could say i'm really sad that you're leaving especially as i never got to taste your amazing cheesecake yeah how's that um i was thinking maybe one thing that ryan could do is throw this woman a party because she's leaving you say everyone's bringing a bottle and a cake so you can bring that amazing cheesecake and she'll be like oh no i'm sorry i've

packed all my cheesecake equipment well then you'd be like well you're not having a party then because you're a duplicitous bitch i think i think it's easier to do the thing i said but let us know how you go ryan try both methods and let us know if the cheesecake really is amazing because i can't think no you can imagine cheesecake being seven out of ten but not more than that yeah i think that's about right and often that's only as a conduit to a nice compote that's on top well I'll tell you what even if you put a 10 out of 10 cheesecake in front of me Helen I don't think I'd want more than two slices

what kind of dessert would you eat a whole of I don't think of you as a particularly dessert hungry person that's right that's absolutely accurate nonetheless I reckon if I was in a very hungry mood I could probably get through like a whole root ball of crumble for example or if I again if I was being disgusting

I'm not condoning this but if I was I could eat a whole brie but that's not really a pudding one day you will well Ryan's very inquisitive because he's got another question another food based question

for us super and it's this Helen answer me this why is a sandwich called a sandwich everyone knows this don't they

I'm surprised if they don't I'm surprised we haven't done it on the show before. It's just one of these things that everybody knows. Yeah, that's right. It was because the person who invented it was a witch and their hat was full of sand. It's so well known that I assumed it was a myth, actually, that it was the Earl of Sandwich and his

manservant brought him some meat slapped between two slices of bread so he could carry on gambling. Sandwich is in Kent, is that right? It is, and it's very close to a town called Ham, which is beautifully apt, well done Kent It's true He was sort of famously responsible for giving his name to the sandwich Apparently he was very fond of cribbage

And he didn't want to get grease on the cribbage pegs So he had the sandwich that kept his It's just such an obvious idea, isn't it? But it was around for like hundreds or thousands of years before So I don't know why Maybe the Earl of Sandwich, the fourth Earl of Sandwich Had a really good marketing team behind him Yeah, because i know very poor people just ate bread by itself but rich people what did they do with a loaf of bread apart from put things in it like surely they always put

stuff on it they threw it at peasants now here's the thing right i know that technically a hot sandwich is still a sandwich but for me i always feel a slight shudder of discontent when i go into mcdonald's or kfc and their burgers are listed as a sandwich. It's not a sandwich, is it? American people won't understand because that's just routinely what a burger is listed under. That's because a burger is breakfast, lunch and dinner there. But also sandwiches are the size of a burger in America. Whereas here, sandwiches are flat little things.

Yeah, that's right. Like actually edible and won't kill you. You can actually get your mouth around them in one without dislocating your jaw. The McChicken sandwich should be called the McChicken burger, should it not? It is a chicken burger. That's what it is. It's a burger with chicken. It's not a sandwichcchicken sandwich should be called the mcchicken burger should it not it is a chicken burger that's what it is it's a burger with chicken it's not a sandwich mcdonald's shouldn't be called a restaurant ollie but it is that's true the current earl of sandwich himself is confusing this issue how because he's got a burger joint yeah what what the earl of sound because i've just i went to vegas in january

as attentive listeners will recall on On a sandwich research trip. You know, I could go to Kent, but instead I'm going to Vegas, where gambling originated, hence the sandwich. Yeah, that's right. The fourth Earl of Sandwich would have loved it here, but it didn't exist when he was alive. It was next to the Bellagio's famous cribbage table. You lost a lot of money on that table.

Yeah, they had a restaurant there, again, using the restaurant in the McDonald's sense. A trough. Called Earl of Sandwich. And it's an American sandwich joint that sells like New York deli type sandwiches full of five different meats and cheese and makes you feel a bit ill afterwards.

Really packed full of stuff. Subway type sandwich. Okay. That's what it is. Called the Earl of Sandwich. It's called Earl of Sandwich. And I asked my mate Travis, who lives in Vegas about this,

I said, this is weird that you've got a thing here called Earl of Sandwich. And he went, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's an English company. They're massive over here. And I was like, there's no way that's an English company. They've obviously told you Americans that it's an English company. But this is clearly a burger joint for Americans. This would never fly in the UK. And he said, no, no, no, I saw this whole thing on CNN about it.

The Earl of Sandwich set it up. And it's the most popular sandwich restaurant in the world. What? I know, it sounds ridiculous. I've never even seen it. I've been to America quite a bit. I've since used the power of Google to discover that one of its branches

is the most popular sandwich shop in the world. Oh, come on. And that's the one that's in Disney World in Florida. Oh, so a bit of a captive market. Exactly. So if you take Disney World out of the equation, it's basically just a rapidly growing sandwich chain in the States.

But I looked into it and it is owned by the current Earl of Sandwich. Wow. And to justify this, they've opened one, a franchise, in, I can't remember the street, but it's in the city, like near Fleet Street. And so American tourists go there and think they're going to a British, a traditional British sandwich shop that's selling footlong sandwiches with hot tuna in them. But you've got to understand that the Earl of Sandwich, you know, aristocrats here now, most of them are broke and they have to do things like let their houses out for weddings and conferences. This is his way.

Absolutely. Breaking it in. Don't get me wrong. If I was the Earl of Sandwich, you can bet I would own a sandwich chain. That's not the issue. What could you do? The issue is what kind of sandwich chain would it be?

And for me, it would have to be a traditional English sandwich. That may not make you as much money in Disney World, Earl, but I would be selling egg mayonnaise. Cucumber. Exactly, tuna and cucumber. And Marmite. And that's it. I'm sorry, if America doesn't like it,

they can stick it up their ass. I'm so glad I've been made aware of Ollie sitting over there. Helen in the adjacent chair podcast, terrific bliss. Whether sitting in my large abode or cycling down the harrow road, I never miss an episode of answer me this uh here's a question from nina who says you know that song ladybird ladybird fly away home your house is on fire and your children are gone i do it's a meatloaf song it's very long title second arthur's in parentheses uh what is that about um do ladybirds even have

permanent homes well not anymore under the tory government uh and also isn't it just a bit mean to make a song out of the deaths of young children well they're not children they're insects because they're the children of ladybirds there's not an allegory then they are literally ladybirds well anyone who's listened to answer me this 73 will remember our treatise upon the ladybird and why it's called that because it was like an insect tribute to the Virgin Mary. Go back and revise people. It's a classic. Answer me this podcast dot com slash classic. Only seven times

that's right. And so some people say that this rhyme was like a warning sign to the Catholics that they could expect to get burnt if they refused to attend Protestant services or let a priest say mass or any of that shit and they might just be executed very publicly and have all of their family slaughtered nice or it was a song that farmers sang because ladybirds

as we learned in answer me this 73 were very helpful because they got rid of pests yeah then when the farmers had done the harvest and they came to burn the stubble in the fields they wanted the ladybirds to leave rather than get burnt and all their children were burnt too good and no ill meaning to the catholics isn't it weird though that that should get passed down now i'm gonna know that all fairy tales and nursery rhymes are a bit weird in that way but when if one is specifically about that if it were thought to be about that there's quite an odd i mean why has as oral tradition preserved it well maybe because uh children like ladybirds and they're certainly easy to draw and put in a book with a nice picture next to it. Yes.

The canon of works that is about ladybirds is not very big. Well, apart from all of the ladybirds books in print. Yeah, but they've just stolen things about other things and pretended they're about ladybirds. Yeah, they're not about ladybirds either. Not at all. I bet there's not a ladybird book that even mentions a ladybird. It's like penguin books. There's nary a penguin among them.

That's true. Or Bloomsbury books. They're not set in Bloomsbury well some of them probably are i bet they're not any more any more disappointments hodder and stoughton some of them are not very stout they're very slender paperbacks actually here's a question now from rob from glossop who says helen answer me this why are places which are traditionally associated with sex and smarts referred referred to as seedy. Is there some kind of reference to sex parlours which would become seedy as a result of men spilling theirs all over the carpets, curtains and wallpaper? Lovely.

Wow. Is that where flock wallpaper comes from, I wonder? It's like a firehouse. No. No, I didn't think so. It's because when plants had gone to seed, they were past their best. You know, you've seen a dandelion clock looking a bit... That good and crappy good i like that explanation so that wasn't just for sex parlors

that are past their best it was all sorts of so that makes sense because people can say that a hotel's kind of seedy and that doesn't mean that it's necessarily a knocking shop it means it's a bit past its prime exactly like it's got uh those fluffy toilet seat covers and dusky pink headboard that matches everything else in the room and the wallpaper's peeling a little bit and everything's very floral. Do you like seedy places in moderation? Well, you and I spent about two hours in Blackpool

and that was about... That was too much. Two hours too much. Good times. Well, that brings us to the end of this week's Answer Me This. If you have a question for next week, then you should send it to us post-haste, I would say. Yeah, yes, you really should.

Get on it. Or just quick. Yeah, whichever. Rapidamente. Whichever works for you. And all the details of how you can do that, email, phone, Skype, etc., are all on our website.

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and unfortunately, we're powerless to make amends between those two organisations. So, sorry, Android users. But if you've got an iPhone, well done. Ah, quits in. iPad, join the party on the app. Why not follow the link to my website and listen to my podcast,

which is like this, but with less talk and more music. It's like this in that it's got you on it talking for about a minute. There's a minute of me saying hello and then there's some music. Yeah, good sell. Yeah, you'll like it. Click Martin for that.

Yeah, if you meet him in the street, just click him. And we'll see you next week. Bye!