Answer Me This! - AMT213: Mounted Police, Greek Yoghurt, and Steve Jobs Style

Episode Date: May 3, 2012

Mounted Police, Greek Yoghurt, and Steve Jobs Style Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To support sustainable food production, BHP is building one of the world's largest potash mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. Why don't the new Avengers wear bowler hats? Pass me this, pass me this. Can I be the guy from Blue Velvet and perv through the slats? Pass me this, answer me this Can I be the guy from Blue Velvet and her through the slats? Answer me this, answer me this Helen and Ollie, answer me this

Well, here's a mixed blessing, listeners. I'm starting the episode slightly lost for words. Helen has just shown me a video which has shocked me. It's shocking, like, say, they edited together all the gory bits of all the Saw films into one. It is the gastronomic human centipede too. Yes actually that is a very good description of it because you remember last week listeners we mentioned

the pizza crust stuffed with a hot dog and then one of our listeners piped up on Twitter saying do you know here in the Middle East we have something even more depraved than that. And I was kind of hoping for a hot dog stuffed with pizza, but it wasn't that.

Dare to dream. No, it was a pizza that kind of looked pretty, like a passion flower or something, but was actually surrounded by burgers baked into the crust. It's a bit like the film Alien. If John Hurt was a pizza and the alien was a burger. And there were 12 of it.

Yeah. It's a bit like a savoury simnel cake where each of the burgers is an apostle. Anyway, thanks for alerting our attention to that, I guess, but it has slightly knocked me for six. Well, here's a question about foodstuffs from Joy from Northern California who says, Ollie, answer me this.

Why is there so much buzz about Greek yog yogurt all of a sudden what what's the big deal about cannabis why is everyone wearing belts this year justin bieber justin bieber justin bieber wherever i go i hear it's better for you says joy but why is it better and is this just a ploy to boost the greek economy well look okay we're laughing at joy's innocence no i'm laughing because it's a funny question it's a funny idea that suddenly greek yogurt is all the rage yeah people are oh it was tamagotchi and then it was pogs and now it's greek yogurt i like the fact that it's quite solid because joy is writing to us from northern californ, we should cut her a bit of slack because actually, believe it or not, sales of Greek yoghurt have increased from $60 million five years ago to $1.5 billion today. And that's because one of Turkey's biggest dairy farmers went and set up shop in New York.

And apparently all the supermarkets in the States didn't have Greek yoghurt before. They said American palates only wanted sweetened yoghurt and now it genuinely is the big thing in Northern California. But when you say it's the big thing in Northern California you mean it has proliferated across the yoghurt eating parts of the United States. It's not that Northern California is this enclave

in the not-good. Well I've heard if you smear it on the roots of the redwood it grows twice as big. But if that does encourage tourism to Greece then the yoghurt could of the redwood, it grows twice as big. But if that does encourage tourism to Greece, then the yoghurt could save it. Yeah, it's true. If you get on the American map, I mean, look at Scotland.

Oh yeah, their yoghurt has really boosted the economy. No, but the fact that a lot of Americans have Scottish heritage and therefore go and visit Scotland. Yeah, and Ireland. There's nothing wrong with Scotland and Ireland. They're both very beautiful places, but they're not especially beautiful

compared to the rest of Europe. It's just that Americans go there, right? If you can do that with Greece, what a boon. Do you think Turkey's a bit pissed off to have missed out on the action if it's a Turkish company? No, because it's a Turkish company. And they're like, we don't want all those American tourists coming and getting in the way. Exactly.

They're getting the best of both worlds. They're getting a lot of money to their economy through the company itself. You stay next door where we can't see or hear you. Hi, Helen and Arlene. This is Hannah from Milton Keynes. We were at another friend's birthday party and we got talking economy through the company itself you stay next door where we can't see or hear you hi helen ollie this is hannah from milton keynes we were at another friend's birthday party and we got talking about arab straps and we wondered how it came to be called this so helen ollie answered me this why is an arab strap called an arab strap well i'm just going to come out and say this i don't know what an arab strap is but you do know the bell and sebastian album the boy with the arab

strap yes and you do know the gloomy 90s band arab strap sort of i remember they exist but i couldn't tell you a song by them that's because they all sound gloomy fine you're not a gloomy man i'm not no i was listening to disney songs but i am a big fan of bell and sebastian yes um and i've noticed that they had this reference to a thing that i didn't know what it was it was the band arab strap that they were this reference to a thing that I didn't know what it was. It was the band Arab Strap that they were referencing. Oh, was it? Apparently they were friends and then Arab Strap were like, what are they playing at? This is shit.

Oh, that's so Belle and Sebastian and Meta, isn't it? That's why I haven't looked into it because I wasn't interested. I just like the songs. I don't even care what you're doing with the lyrics. I know you think you're being clever. I just like the twee stuff. All right. So I've noticed that I have this hole in my knowledge and I didn't want to look into it

because I reckoned it would probably be Because you love the holes in your knowledge They're what make you the elaborate doily that you are Just battling through life I don't want to be just a circle of paper A unique and beautiful snowflake That's right So I'm not sure I want to know

Because I reckon it's going to be something horrible Yeah you don't want to know Because here's a rule I'm going to call it Zaltzman's third law of 21st century life a band whose name you do not understand is probably named after a nasty sexual practice okay and arab straps allegedly is a kind of sexual aid in the mode of a cock ring but with some kind of extra leather strapping i'm really trying to visualize this

i don't want to visualize it because you see i do not want to corrupt my internet history to this extent but i understand that it is to make your performance last longer as cock rings apparently do but you should not wear one for more than 20 minutes because that can cause you permanent damage leading to necrosis of the penis now why, why didn't Belle and Sebastian call that album The Boy with Necrosis of the Penis? It turned black. So, from what I can glean, without taking moderate safe search off, is that this was either named after a device

for the mating process of the Arab horses, which were a very valuable sort of horse, or it was more general allusion to the fact that arab horses were so wild they required quite a lot of restraint of their bodies not just their penises so what i've noticed is that horses quite frequently seem to be walking around with what in gentleman's parlance we refer to as a semi i wonder if when you're studying a horse and you haven't got time to wait for them to get aroused, presumably if they've got that semi-state, you can grab it at that point and use the Arab strap to create an impregnation.

Now I'm wondering whether it's just the horses find you quite sexy, but not quite enough. I'm not sure what to make of me. He looks a bit like a horse. Which end is that? Head or arse? Here's a question from somebody calling themselves Rowan from Glasgow. They've asked us to conceal their identity. They say, I share a flat with a bunch of other people and one of my flatmates has begun to induce in me such ire

that I'm not sure what I can do. Wow, that's very poetically put. The guy that's inducing the ire wants to be a comedy writer. Okay. I don't find him very funny and he's so desperately keen to be thought comedy writer. Okay. I don't find him very funny and he's so desperately keen to be thought of as funny that if you ask him a question

his face contorts and he's struck dumb for at least 30 seconds as his brain whirs through the options for a sarcastic humorous response. That is what

all comedy panel games on telly would be like if they didn't employ program associates. They didn't edit down from three hours to 28 minutes. That's what it would be just a lot of ian hislop looking blank that's just the way his face is but there is another part of this that really really annoys

me okay he writes inverted commas funny articles for various websites mostly on page but hey he's trying okay and he tweets his witticisms constantly. The thing is, Rowan explains, he tweets my jokes and my funny things that I say as if they were his own. Okay, interesting. He does this all the time. He often sits in the living room as we're watching telly, laptop on his knees, I say something funny, and he tweets it as his own observation.

Sounds like one ollie man here hello go on helen would you care to vent that sounds like a specific instance you're referring sometimes i'll just say a quip you know they flow out of me and ollie says you're gonna use that if not well okay but i i am imagining this is the nature of this question i think that's reasonable if i've asked you yeah but the public don't know that it was mine. There should be attribution. But anyway, we'll continue. He's never told me about this or credited me.

This bothers me. I don't want to be a comedian, particularly, but the things I say are mine. And it's oddly galling to have someone trade them off as his own. Yeah. I don't want to confront him because I'm shit at things like that and will probably cry. Maybe you should think up a joke that he's like oh i'll have that and then he suddenly realizes the meaning is stop stealing the things that i say that sounds like quite a complex joke yeah well

even if he acknowledged that he used my words verbatim for his material as though they were his i genuinely don't think he would understand why i didn't like it so well he asked me this am i just being silly about this no No, I don't think so. I think you've got a point there. But I do think Rowan's phrase, I don't want to be a comedian particularly... Very revealing, isn't it? Quite revealing.

Well, maybe I would if I was asked. Yeah, exactly. You know, I am... Obviously, someone finds me funny. Maybe other people will find... What if he gets this amazing career on the basis of his tweets and I haven't got to...

This is it. But if Rowan really had no desire at all whatsoever to enter anything remotely to do with comedy then i don't think they'd be so concerned you would just think this guy is a real sad sack not to be able to think of funny things himself because if he can't then he's not going to make it as a comedian because as soon as he has to do a stand-up set of any length he's going to be screwed right or you'd think i'm helping him by contributing him and furthering his development as a writer even though i find him incredibly unfunny um so i i i think the fact is rowan maybe you should have a cold hard look at yourself here and think actually you know one of the reasons it's galling you that he's getting presumably some acclaim for some of these phrases

because you're saying that you don't find him funny but obviously he's had some positive reactions otherwise he wouldn't keep doing it you are finding that quite galling because you are thinking oh maybe i've got it in me to be a funny tweeter maybe i should set up a twitter account and tweet the things i say just before i say them and then maybe just ask him to just retweet what you've tweeted that would save him a lot of time yeah and then that would make it very clear wouldn't it but to me it sounds like rowan would not be satisfied with these solutions. Rowan wants this situation to stop. And therefore the solution would be Rowan, stop saying anything interesting in his presence. Just be really, really boring for about six months.

That will break the habit. Or if you get on with this guy, apart from this habit, maybe start doing a podcast with him. Because then he'd be forced to think of things to say spontaneously. And you would get to say your things that you like oh well i probably don't want to be funny in front of people if you've got a question then email your question to answer me this podcast at googlemail.com And submit this podcast to googlemail.com And submit this podcast to googlemail.com

So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectives. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. Here's a question from Kat, who says, I like

a lot of people. What's the Grand National? Horse murderer! After the race, Claire Balding said to one of the jockeys post interview, I'll leave you to go and get weighed now. I bet she didn't say it in quite as jolly a way as that. I'll leave you to go and get weighed now. That's a better impression, Helen. I can't really do Claire Balding's voice.

Wait, you sound more like her than John McCruric, which is a good thing. I'll leave you to go and get weighed now and then I'll eat her pig's arse. Kat says, I understand that jockeys have to be light, but Ollie, answer me this. What difference does it make to weigh them

before and after the race? Surely the winner is the first over the line anyway. Why, oh why, do they do this? The winner winner is the first over the line anyway why oh why do they do this the winner's the first one over the line but if it emerges that they're the first over the line because they've been chucking weights off the horse whilst they've been running then that's quite a big issue it's a little bit cheaty yeah so that's the reason but you're right to say that that's more tradition these days than anything else because the way they weight the horses now is in such a fashion that it's very difficult to shed that weight whilst you're actually on the horse but the thing that a lot of

people don't realize is so the race is fair every jockey plus horse is carrying the same weight so it doesn't matter how like the jockey is really they make up the difference with weight so that every horse is carrying the same weight so no one has an unfair advantage that's amazing i didn't know that no i didn't but what if one horse is a lot bigger and stronger than another horse? Well, that's fine. And that's part of the sport, isn't it? But they'd make sure there's no unreal advantage of having a light jockey on top of the strong horse.

I wish they'd go back to some of the deceit. It's like people baking conkers in a microwave. You know, it might not be fair, but it adds an interesting element of surprise. But that's not to say, of course, that jockeys don't do all sorts of things to try and lose weight themselves. Apparently, jockeys spend hours and hours in saunas

just before their race. I heard that. Do some of them try and have massive shits as well? You would think, wouldn't you? Do any of them shave their heads surreptitiously after they've been weighed the first time? You do wonder, don't you? There must be some tricks that go on.

But then if you're winning because you've cut your fingernails whilst you're on the track, I mean, it seems quite unlikely. To be honest, if you're winning because you've cut your fingernails whilst you're on the track, I mean, it seems quite unlikely. To be honest, if you're winning because you've cut your fingernails whilst riding a horse at speed, you deserve to. Yeah, absolutely. Well, we've got another question about horses, unbelievably, in this equine special.

It's from Richard, aged 26 in London, but from Bristol. It's an important distinction. He says, I am... This is in capitals, that's why I'm shouting. I'm sorry if it offends your ears. How can you tell the difference? I am fed up with police on horseback. Running me down for all my terrible criminal ways.

How many times do you see that in London or in Bristol? Well, you see it on the mall. Maybe he lives in Wembley Stadium. Maybe he lives opposite Horse Guards Parade. Maybe. Maybe he lives in a kettle. As far as I can see, they only serve to slow traffic. Quite an important point in policing, I would think.

There you are. And poo on the street. Probably not a key point in policing. That's community policing. Is it even possible to arrest someone whilst on horseback? Have you ever seen them do this? Well, just because I haven't seen something doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. I've never seen South America, but I believe in it.

He says, I can see the argument that the public find it a bit of a novelty oh yeah it's all about pleasing the public isn't it uh it makes our police more visible and gives them a better vantage point correct those all sound like solid reasons i think you're answering your own question it is important to have an eight foot advantage when you're trying to scope a crowd full of ruffians but if that is the objective helen answer me this why not just have police on stilts it would be a lot cheaper it's not a rave and it's a lot easier to move on a horse than on stilts i don't know if you've ever tried but horses are a lot better at walking and running than stilt walkers isn't it about pacifying crowds though as well oh it has many has many functions, Ollie. But yes, that is one of them because I think people are naturally disinclined to mess with a horse.

Exactly. It's not the horse's fault, is it? Even if you disagree with the police presence, you're not going to take it out on an animal. Well, also, horses are big. They're quite threatening when you come up to them face to face because they're big.

And also, they can kick you in the face. That's right. And unlike a police person, they're unlikely to have to say sorry for clubbing somebody with their own hoof. Yes, that's right. Also, what's clever is they can do that thing where if you've got a line of police horses, they can all just turn nose to tail

and then block the crowd. And it's much friendlier and actually quite delightful to see than police standing there with battering rams. Yeah, and shields. Yeah, and what is a civilian sort of fun event. Yeah, and they can get around places where vehicles cannot. So if the police have to travel at speed, plus scattering a crowd,

horse is a better job if it's not roadworthy conditions. Yes. I mean, I always find them a reassuring presence if I'm going to a concert or something like that. That's when I see them in big, like, you know, a Wembley or something like that. Oh, but it's annoying when you're standing behind them and you can't see anything.

And so the jubilee fireworks begin for the Queen's very special day. Red, the colour that has meant so much to Her Majesty. Ah, that's pretty, that's gold. Representing the Queen's favourite song by

Spandau Ballet. A Catherine wheel there, there's a warning from history. The answer to me, this jubilee, Spandau Ballet. A Catherine Wheel there. There's a warning from history. The Answer Me This Jubilee. One hour of right royal fun. Available now from iTunes. Another completely ridiculous question about food. Awesome. It's from Ed from Leeds.

He says, Helen, answer me this. Do Mexican people actually eat nachos? That's not that ridiculous, actually. Of course it is. No, it's not. Why would you dream that up? Because, say, a lot of people in China probably don't eat things that are very familiar to us

from Chinese restaurants here, but are fake Chinese foods. Yeah, but the base stuff they eat, like they might not have exactly the same recipe for ribs, but they eat ribs. I have a colleague from Mexico City. He said that she'd never eaten a burrito before she came to the UK.

They just don't have any in Mexico. That is interesting. What are the true Mexican foods? This is what I'm interested in because in the States where Mexican food proliferates in a most wonderful way but it's a very limited number of dishes and frankly most of them are permutations on the same very few ingredients.

Just different shapes or slightly different order of cookery. Yep. So I can't imagine that the entire Mexican populace subsists only on these. But I have heard that Mexicans do eat nachos, but really they were popularised in Texas. But they were invented in Mexico in a town called Piedras Negras, which is just over the border from Eagle Pass in Texas. And this is the year 1943, Ollie.

A good year for snack foods. When you talk in the present tense like that, it freaks me out. I'm just like shit, we just travelled through time. Don't do that to me. She's doing a woman's witchcraft again. Cue the mariachi music. I know it helps focus the mind, but when you say that to someone like me, I really get very freaked out. Just keep

it as what happened in 1945. How long have I been asleep? You don't mind. On that day, a bunch of ladies came in after a shopping trip. They were from Eagle Pass in Texas, but presumably they'd popped over the border for some cut price things. Or drugs. And they popped into a restaurant called the Victory Club and

it was closed. But its owner, Ignacio Inaya, thought, I'll rustle them something up out of what's left in the kitchen, which was essentially tortillas and cheese. And he thought, I'll stick it under the grill to make it a bit more exciting and thus the nacho is born and they're named after him because the sort of diminutive form of ignacio is nacho okay so it was for american tourists yeah which is kind of interesting isn't it because i guess that would give some legitimacy to the argument that it's not really a mexican food it's a tex-mex food well

also they were using a cheese from wisconsin i don't think i actually realized until you just said i know that they're called tortilla chips i'm gonna sound like an idiot but i don't think i realize that tortilla chips are actually grilled like soft flour tortillas that you can turn into hard tortilla chips with the magic of grilling i don't want to upset you but if you put raw pasta in boiling water, it becomes the soft kind that you eat. Yeah, you need to buy toast ready made. And if you boil crisps, they become a delicious porridge. It's Kieran from Freckleton in Lancashire. Helen and I, they answer me this.

What was the first musical performed in London's West End? Is there some kind of criterion that ought to be applied as to when the West End itself began? So it's not like, well, of course, when the monks gathered to sing madrigals in what was pre-Cambridge Circus in 1268. Yeah. Actually, there's not too much dispute about when the West End began because it's all to do with the monarchs

and which of them supported the theatre. So after the interregnum, you can say there was a West End because since then there's been theatre, even though it's been censored and stuff. What's the interregnum you can say there was a West End because since then there's been theatre even though it's been censored and stuff what's the interregnum? between the two kings oh right it's like the barse

but for the monarchy you're calling Cromwell a barse so there's not too much dispute about that but I suppose there might be some dispute about what actually constitutes a musical

as opposed to just a play with some songs in like they often had well or opera which obviously they had for centuries before they had musicals. That's like a musical with the fun taken out. I am accepting Gilbert and Sullivan to be the beginning of the modern musical. Yes, well, I think there's a reasonable thesis to be written.

I get that they're kind of light operetta, but I think you can clearly see the through line. Light operetta begat musicals. Begat things like Noel Coward which begat things like Andrew Webber so that you can see that okay so let's say it's Gilbert and Sullivan and then it's quite easy

to answer because they had a special theatre built for them the Savoy Theatre that was to house the Doily Cart Theatre Company so that was built in 1881

but of course they were famous by then so they'd obviously had a few hits in the West End before they had a special theatre built for them. So I'm going to go for,

and if any students of musical theatre want to correct me on this, feel free, HMS Pinafore by Gilbert and Sullivan, 1878. If only the West End had maintained that quality for the last 130 years. Hi, Owen and Ollie. My name's Seth from Newcastle. I'm currently sat in bed just painting my nails, and it just occurred to me my partner's playing on the Xbox in the other room and he's playing

I think it's called Battlefield with his friend. Hell and all I'm saying is, why do people have such a big problem with their partners playing on the Xbox? It's the perfect time to chill out and play and like do your nails, read a book and just have some peace and quiet.

Is there anything wrong with that? You're right. You're absolutely right. You can have such wonderful leisure time when your other half is absorbed in a shooty game. I hope, Sarah, that your other half does appreciate your tolerant attitude

towards his Xbox timer. Martin. Hello. Are you pleased by my tolerance of your PS3 habit at the expense of our discourse? You're quite bitchy about some of the characters in the games I play, you don't you? Why are they such dickheads?

And why do they all walk funnily? And why are their clothes so brown? Because Martin's playing them, obviously. He chooses all that in the Avatar stage, don't you know? You're very rude about Kratos, who after all got suckered by the Greek gods into killing his wife and child. Well, he is a plum. And if you do make me watch a plum

for eight hours a day, I am going to bring it to the attention of the room. I think what you're listening to here, listeners, is what happens to a relationship, actually, when the other half doesn't do as Sarah's done and go into presumably a different room to paint her nails. I'm not allowed. Martin's like, I don't like being in the room on my own.

It's a communal activity. What if I get shot and I need someone to drag me to safety? I've often marvelled at the fact that you can sit quietly in the corner... Planning my own death. ...whilst Martin is playing very loud and obtrusive computer games. Why don't you have separate rooms? What's that about? Because he won't allow it. I like having the company.

We've got all the company of your imaginary friends on the game. I've got a lovely blue girlfriend in one of them. Hello, my name's Matt and I'm from Sunbury-on-Thames. I've just been clearing out my garage and at the very end of the garage i found a vase a very tall vase and at the bottom of the vase lying dead was a tiny little mouse this has horrified me that the mouse must have fallen into the vase and therefore struggled there for a long time, figuring out a way to get out before ultimately succumbing to its horrible death.

Unless it sort of fell and knocked itself out, in which case we can assume it had a fairly quiet and painless death. Yeah. Or unless it was a suicide attempt, which I don't think is very common amongst mice, but I suppose is possible if your garage is particularly awful. So, Helen and Ollie, answer me this, because it is troubling me a lot, and I'm finding it hard to concentrate on anything else.

How long would it take a mouse lying at the bottom of a very tall vase to die? Consensus on the internet seems to be that probably about five days to die. I don't want to traumatise you even more, Matt. Five days? Because a human being only lives about that long without water. But apparently mice don't need that much water. They're an animal that barely needs a lick. But who's done these experiments to see how long a mouse lasts without water? They've done everything to a mouse.

I know. But, Matt, you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that this mouse died in the best place possible, in a vase in Sunbury-on-Thames, the home of a massive antiques fair. So you could take that vase to the antiques fair, complete with vase, in Sunbury-on-Thames, the home of a massive antiques fair. So you could take that vase to the antiques fair, complete with Mouse, get some money for it, be nice. Make the Mouse's life worth something.

I saw an incredible vase, actually, at the Sunbury-on-Thames. It was a miniature ceramic toilet. Why? I don't know. It had, actually, what looked like appropriate holes for plumbing, so maybe it's not a vase. It's now being sold as one, but maybe it was originally for a pygmy right here's the thing matt in sunbury on thames you wouldn't want this mouse actually running around your house would you

unless you're some sort of crazed mouse fan it's safer in every room and thinks they're cute running along your beams so you probably if this mouse had come into your living room smashed it with a brick exactly and actually if you're the kind of person who gets all like worked up and upset about mouse rights, you're probably the kind of person that would get a natural mouse death machine. But none of which actually are as nice as just letting it slowly rot to death in a beautiful vase. Yeah.

Enjoying the artistry. Exactly. Well, here's a question from Fabian from Bristol who says Ollie answer me this when did Steve Jobs start wearing his trademark black polo neck

and jeans combo and how did it come about this is a good question this has been answered very recently in the biography it's a famous designer

wasn't it yeah it was Issey Miyake really and he was in Japan wasn't he he went to Japan who's answering the question here Martin is it me or is it you someone knows a lot about Steve Jobs' fashion choices Martin Yeah, it was Issey Miyake Really? And he was in Japan, wasn't he? He went to Japan Who's answering the question here, Martin?

Is it me or is it you? Sorry, yeah Someone knows a lot about Steve Jobs' fashion choices Martin What it was is, as Martin suggests Steve Jobs visited the Sony factory in Japan In the mid-80s, according to the biography To nick some industrial secret

Probably No, just to try the sushi, Helen, obviously And he thought those black polo necks they're wearing Look a bit better than these Quality Seconds ones I have on I don't think they wore black polo necks in the sony factory in the mid 80s i think they had a specific uh outfit that had been designed for them bespoke by issey miyake obviously japanese designer and he looked at that and talked to issey miyake about doing something similar for apple employees now ironically because nowadays if you ever meet anyone who works for apple or Google or any Silicon Valley company,

they all walk around exclusively with t-shirts advertising products that they've made. The Apple employees didn't like the idea of wearing a uniform at the time. So it never got off the ground. Bloody hippos. So he was like, what am I going to do with these 2,000 Issey Miyake polo necks I've got? Well, I'll just wear them till the end of time. If I wear one every day and then throw it away. Yeah, but more or less, actually.

It didn't happen right then. This was, like I say, in the 80s. It wasn't until, as far as I can work out, the early 2000s that he actually commissioned the black polo neck. But he'd had a friendship by this point with Miyake. And over the years, they emailed each other. And so that's kind of how that happened when he did decide to get himself an identikit outfit.

Do you think he just reached a stage of his life where he's like i just want something that i don't have to think about each day i'm very busy designing the future do you know what though i never really thought steve jobs's outfits were that great because i don't think black goes well with the kind of medium pale denim that he favors yeah i agree the combination was odd uh levi's 501 in that kind of pale blue and then the i think was brown New Balance sneakers As they called them in America Should have worn all black

Shouldn't he? Like he's doing a puppet show You know when they Have the fluorescent things On their hands But that would get really difficult At the keynets Because no one could tell

It would just be a disembodied head Floating above an iPhone It would have been better If he'd replaced his face With a big apple Like a McGreek painting It was Paris In the spring of 1898 two children paddled gaily in

the sand one giggled like a girl the other was a girl and their names were olivier and time for a question from john in atlanta who says i am an american aircraft enthusiast does that mean he is an american person who is an enthusiast of aircraft, or he is only an enthusiast of American aircraft? The former. I'm a keen fan of aviation history, aerobatics, and the like. This interest has led me to recently partake in the more geeky side of this hobby and attend the odd air show.

That sounds like the fun side of the hobby. What, the odd air show? Yeah. Planes that have got five wings. Yeah, burlesque dancing. the odd air show that sounds like the fun side of the hobby what the odd air show planes they've got five wings yeah burlesque dancing um especially the free air shows held at many of the nearby us air force bases in my area this summer however i will be in the uk on business and have decided to take the plunge and attend the largest such show, the Royal International Tattoo. Yippee!

Yeah. While I'm very excited to take part, the name perplexes me. So, Helen, that's right, it was a question about etymology all along. Oh, you really blindsided me. Helen, answer me this. Where did this nomenclature come about? Royal International Air. No, I think we all know he means tattoo. Helen means, why is it

called tattoo uh and is it used for this one event or are there other such air shows that are also partial to the usage of the word tattoo we both heard the word tattoo used before because of i'm guessing you agree with me on this the edinburgh military tattoo yes that's the biggest tattoo i've heard of and it's not a big tattoo like all of someone's leg. No. It's different. It's bigger than that. It's bigger than anything on Jody Marsh. It's the size of a stadium. It's pure coincidence that the word tattoo,

as in the body art, and the word tattoo as in display of... Military percussion instruments. Yes. Sound the same because tattoo, as in the body art, came from a Tahitian word, tattoo. And then the other one came from two dutch words tap which meant you know the tap on a beer cask and toe which meant shut and what it meant was that the beer casks were going to be shut off and it was a time when people went out with their

instruments to make a noise to tell everybody to go to bed why would you shut the beer cask when there's music going on it's the exact opposite of what happens at the carling academy so it was a signal played at the time when they wanted the soldiers and sailors to stop boozing and go to bed so that the next day they could fight okay in a military context i'd forgotten of course that we're talking about military stuff yeah that sort of does make sense that you play a loud noise rousing round of your national anthem and then say right so beating a tattoo is a sort of a drum pattern, isn't it? Yeah, so it's a drum beat. But the sort of exhibitions, if you like, of military might, those are one step removed from that even, aren't they? Because it's not just drums,

it's formation marching and planes flying and all this kind of stuff. Well, it is now, yeah, but they didn't have planes back in the 16th century or whenever this word came about. Right, kites then, whatever they had then. Seagulls. Because I've been to the Edinburgh Military Tattoo, and I'm guessing from what I know about your love of military things, that you haven't.

Yeah. Actually, it's an amazing spectacle. So was Starlight Express, to those who appreciated that sort of thing. Yes, well, you know, like Starlight Express was to roller skates, the tattoo is to bagpipes and guns. Right, it certainly sounds like something that i should not miss no but there is some there is some genuinely very cool stuff but what i've noticed is that generally speaking the other stuff that's happening the acrobatics the cannons going off the fireworks even the

uniforms to an extent they're really just there to remind you that the people that you're watching playing the music have a military background that they're trained soldiers and this is something they do on the side. And they could kill you with that bike. Because otherwise they're just professional entertainers, aren't they? If you go and watch the tattoo and you're watching the Russian Air Force playing songs by the Beatles on ukulele, you might

kind of forget underneath it they're well-armed. Underneath it they are pure killing machines. That's right. Well, there you are. That brings us to the end of this week's episode a kaleidoscope of questions as always everything must end must it not um yeah don't get don't get depressed about it i know but it's a whole wake until there's another episode so i'm feeling a little bit maudlin yeah i know but unlike the futility of life and all of our relatives who will die we'll definitely be back this time next week so if you've got a question for us. Let's hope so.

Let's hope one of us doesn't perish horribly. You can phone or Skype or email it to us and all the details about how to do that are on our website. AnswerMethispodcast.com Where you can also find links to our apps, our Facebook, our Twitter, and also the latest episode of Martin the Soundman's The Sound of the Ladies podcast.

Yeah, that's a music podcast. There's all kinds of music on it. Well, there's not all kinds of music on it, is there? There's one kind, really. Yeah. I'm quite a diverse talent. Yeah, you're very diverse. I've got a cover of Rebecca Black on a banjo, you know.

That was good, actually. Yeah, it was quite good. But we're just saying you didn't do a hip-hop version. That's all I'm saying. No pleasing some people, isn't it? I'm not complaining. I'm just, you know, trades descriptions. I'm not complaining because I'm not sure that race relations

are a cover for Martin trying to do a pop song. But anyway, give that a go and please do return next week for more Answer Me This. Bye!