Answer Me This! - AMT214: Downing Street, Superglue and Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Episode Date: May 10, 2012

Downing Street, Superglue and Forgetting Sarah Marshall Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To support sustainable food production, BHP is building one of the world's largest potash mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. What dirt has Tim Burton got on Johnny Depp? Pass me this, pass me this Mr. Memory, what are the 39 steps? Pass me this, answer me this Mr Memory, what are the 39 steps? Answer me this, answer me this Helen and Ollie, answer me this

We've had an email from a man who did the degree that Ollie Mann was born to do. Musical theatre. Oh, okay. Thought it was Disneyland Studies. Well, that is a postdoc. The email is from Chris from Chiswick, BA brackets Muse Theatre. Oh, this is about the first West End musical from last

week. I said it was Gilbert and Sullivan. It is no coincidence indeed that the musical theatre buff has been in touch about musical theatre. I like this. We're going to slowly make Answer Me This a forum about musical theatre. No! That's my dead body! Is it true that Love Never Dies in Australia wasn't shit?

Can you name more than one song from Blood Brothers? Chris from Chiswick says The Beggar's Opera by John Gay is most often cited as the first musical. That is a very good point because that's from about 100 years before Gilbert and Sullivan, isn't it? It was first performed at the Lincoln's Infield Theatre

in 1728. More than a century before Gilbert and Sullivan were born. Yeah, but hold on. The question was, what was the first musical in West End Theatre? I'm afraid I'm going to have to take issue with you here, Chris, because Lincoln's in Fields Theatre... It's too far east, isn't it? In any case, not the West End.

Now, when we mentioned pygmy toilets in last week's episode, I didn't think we'd get any feedback on it. No, it's just not really a topic that has taken hold with today's people um and yet here's some feedback is you mentioned last week helen that you'd been to the sunbury on thames antique fair and spotted a miniature toilet what of it uh peter has been in touch to say miniature porcelain toilets were made by companies like twyford's and armitage shanks for their traveling salesmen to show customers new styles and colors wow that is a good fact isn't it now i've got an image of a

traveling salesman opening his coat and there being eight toilet pans dangling inside it's easier just to email somebody a pdf brochure they do yeah i know that that wasn't always an option but he could have done some drawings with watercolours and saved himself a lot of weight and also breakage, presumably. They're vulnerable, porcelain toilet bowls. That is a great fact. Yes. If I had a fact bell, I would ding it now, loudly. Olly Mann's learnt something.

One of his two learnings a year. Yeah, it's a bit late to innovate that kind of feature in this format, 214 episodes in, but ding, ding, the fact bell has rung. Hello, this is Kate from newcastle um so my question helen and ollie is this why ice cream is always marketed in a very sexual way what is it about watching a young beautiful woman get a choc chow and ice cream in a very sexual way is meant to make me hungry to buy an ice cream. Shall we assume that Kate lives in a convent in Newcastle where she's never really realised

that women putting phallic-shaped things in their mouths and then closing their eyes with an ecstatic look is somehow sexual? Question mark. See, the question was, how is it meant to make her buy ice creams? Not how is it meant to make every heterosexual man in the country buy ice creams? And the answer is, I guess it's not. Because women will buy ice cream anyway, right?

Correct. Yeah. And actually, you know, women respond, even though they may choose female models that are attractive to heterosexual men. Nonetheless, women are looking at those models and imagining themselves in those situations. It's like when they sell makeup. They don't put it on uggos. Exactly. And women still buy it, idiots.

It's aspirational. If they showed, you know, a very overweight woman eating a massive tub of ice cream to console herself because she's just been dumped by a boyfriend, that may be an image of ice cream eating, but it's probably unlikely to sell.

Also, Kate needs to take into account that they use sex to sell pretty much anything. Pretty much everything. Although, to be fair, I mean, back in the 50s when they launched mini milk or whatever, my guess is that Lion's Maid probably weren't advertising ice cream in this sex way.

I think really the... Spent over a carb on it. Yeah. Because it was perceived as a children's product, of course. I think really all of this comes back to Hug and Does, doesn't it? In the 80s, their campaign, couples eating ice cream together in a way that suggested it was mere foreplay for a night of creamy indulgence. What a marketing wheeze.

Although the Flake adverts as well, that was a woman on her own sticking something phallic into her mouth. Correct. With the Flake, that was alone time. Whereas with Hug and Does, it was fairly explicit that it was being used as part of an evening of lovemaking. Yeah, yeah, but it's odd that it's transmitted to ice lollies, because those have wooden sticks in, which... Which would create splinters. They have a very kind of smear test vibe.

Yes. Well, now, here's an email from Chris, aged 23 and a half in Durham. Hello, Chris. And this email sounds a lot like the plot of a Woody Allen film. He says, About a month ago, I split up with my American girlfriend slash fiancé of two and a half years. I am sorry to hear that, Chris. She met a man while out with friends. Oh dear.

Club danced. What's that? Bump and grind. And then tried to lie about it all as supposedly not to hurt my feelings. Perfect. Sounds great. She's now dating this guy after leaving me in limbo for a week. Was that the part of the club dancing that he was indulging in?

But has maintained she wants us to be friends. Oh, of course, because that makes her feel less guilty. But first, we needed space so that we could become individuals again. That is true, especially at your tender ages. Well, ever... Individuals? Well, she's letting this friend dip his wick in. That's not separate.

She's got another partner already. Yeah, maybe she's found that she's simply not complete alone. That's ridiculous. You can't say, right, we need time apart, we need to be separate, we need to get over it. Meanwhile, I'm boffing this guy that I was with, by the way, when I was with you. Unfortunately, I think this is all too common scenario, Ollie.

People are awful. People are, yeah. There's nothing I can do about it. Be a lone wolf, Chris. You're safe that way. She's been calling me daily. Oh, God. Is his name daily?

No. No, it's Chris. Sorry. To tell me her inane drivel about life. Oh, if one of the fringe benefits of breaking up with her is to get away from that. And his ridiculous views on the world, as well as their dates and how wonderful the coitus is.

Well, sounds like you shouldn't be sorry that you are no longer with this piece of work. Block and unfollow in life, I mean. So with all that in mind, Helen, answer me this. Can you ever be friends with an ex? Yes, but not this one.

And why the frigging fudge muffins is she ringing me on a daily basis when she was the one who asked for space? Because she is a total dick. Yeah, she's a cock. Yeah. And I do think people can be friends with their exes, but in all the couples that I know

where they've managed to have a really good friendship after they've broken up, they had several months or even a year or more of not really communicating. And that way they do get to be individuals. And also they manage to get over it. So it's not like this constantly reopened wound whenever they see each other. But this woman is being, at very least, insensitive, talking to you about her coitus with someone else well she wants it both ways that's it that's it maybe she's thinking this guy's not that good a bet and i know chris it's very comfortable being with him so let's keep that option open really do you think that's

what's going on just stop answering her calls right you don't want to hear about her coitus do you chris so stop picking up the phone the point is though chris it doesn't sound like you should get back together with her and it doesn't sound like she's a very good friend to you at the moment so just stop speaking to her and hang out with some other people that are good for you. Do you know what though? This girl is going to flip out when Chris starts seeing someone else. Now that's

interesting. She'd have no fucking right to do that. No, she doesn't but even though she's been the first to go off and grind upon somebody else. And that's when you have to be strong, Chris. Kick her to the curb. Or go on holiday to Hawaii at the same time she is with her new boyfriend

and have a nice fun sex fast. Yeah, but make sure that Mila Kunis is there. That is a prerequisite. Mila Kunis is far too hot to have been working behind that reception, I thought. Look, I don't know how the job market is in Hawaii, even for hotties. It was unconvincing. Fingers crossed there is Mila Kunis

in Chris's future. However, just in case she's not passing by Durham or anywhere else in the northeast of England at a time when it's convenient for Chris to see her. If Forgetting Sarah Marshall was set in Durham, where would they go on holiday? It'd have to be the Isle of Man. Newcastle.

The Isle of Man is on the other side of the country Is it? Yeah, they'd go to Lindisfarne Or maybe they'd just hang out in Durham Cathedral And Mila Kunis would be the person who Just makes sure that no one vandalises the tomb of Bede Yes Very different film, wouldn't it?

We could forget in Thomas Bede If you've got a question Email it in To Martin the sound man Got a question? Email it in. To Martin the sound man, Holly and Helen. Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com. Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty.

On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors.

Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. Here's a question from Sam, who says, My possible-to-be- be girlfriend Has a moustache Wow Are you impressed? Very She is great

But I find it desperately off-putting You don't say I'm sure I'm a terrible person for this I myself have upper lip hair when I don't shave Yeah that's different That's because you're a man But Ollie answer me this What should I do?

I could catch her unawares In an ab-fab sort of way and wax it off or would it be better just to get over myself? This is a great question because Sam's not saying here oh there's this girl who's got a moustache, what a munter. I couldn't bear to look at her.

He's saying my possible to-be-girlfriend in other words someone that he clearly likes and has feelings for. Already? Moustache notwithstanding. Exactly. Almost despite has a mustache in fact maybe he's just worried not about his own desire for her through the mustache but what other people will think he really wants to protect her from a very conventional world and then go girl's got a mustache yeah maybe he thinks well the mustache might not be so important to her that she couldn't sacrifice it just to lead an easier life i i actually literally cannot think of a single way

they can bring up this subject i just don't see how it's possible it's very difficult i mean i've been in a relationship for eight years if this is not the way to tell her whatever you're about to say if on occasion my girlfriend in profile sitting in front of a brightly lit window and a tiny sunbeam light hits a fraction of blonde tuft coming out of the chin even down just exactly nothing and nothing no if i had a girlfriend who actually had a proper fully fledged mustache a full jason lee mustache i don't think even after eight years i could say it never mind sam in your position of prospective possible potential girlfriend to be i don't think it's possible I think it's the last taboo

when I see friends who've got a little bit of a moustache I think maybe they've actually chosen to keep it maybe it's not for me to go you shouldn't have that maybe they're just like yeah I'm fine with this I think functional women in their 30s probably realise if they have a bit of a moustache I don't know I don't like looking at my face too closely in the mirror I'm looking now let me tell you now

I'm going to tell you now because it was a public service. I don't think you do. In some lights, I might. Okay, look, you don't. Yes! Nailed it! Maybe he should actually embrace it. Maybe he should put up pictures of Patti Smith all over the place

and find her desirable. And she's an icon of the female moustache-wearing. She had a lot of photos taken of her and she was married to a photographer, so she must have known it was there. No, but this is interesting because you're sort of saying in a way maybe it would be better maybe it's his problem that he finds it unattractive maybe he should stop being so uh misogynistic about this stop being so square yeah maybe just accept that women you know yeah

women have facial hair to deal with it but actually if it's the other way around it's perfectly acceptable for a woman to say to him like my girlfriend tells me all the time that she finds my shoulder hair hideous. Aw, that's like beautiful little cherubs' wings. Now, to be fair, I suppose our relationship is at the stage where I'm quite happy to ignore that advice. And even though she finds it unattractive, just think, well, she's got to deal with it. But the thing is, it would be not inappropriate for her to broadcast details about my shoulder hair to her friends whereas it would be for me to do the same if she had shoulder hair so that i think there's a double standard there yeah it's okay for men to be hairy in wrong places but for ladies not so what i'm saying is i bet there aren't that many

men out there who do like girls with mustaches well maybe there are a lot of men who don't know that they like girls with mustaches because they so rarely see women with mustaches well maybe there are a lot of men who don't know that they like girls with mustaches because they so rarely see women with mustaches because the world terrorizes women into removing their facial hair well actually there was a girl that i went out with at university on one date she had a mustache and she had a really pretty face and i went on a date with her and it didn't go any further but one of the reasons was i just was she getting bits of egg caught in it like martin sometimes does in his mustache i just thought it was symptomatic of maybe someone who's not taking care of themselves but then taking care what if she spent all of her time nourishing her inner aspect yes because she's not vain well why does taking care of oneself have

to be exterior the potential and young ollie man she saw that i was a desirable person to be with so clearly she had a lot going on under there. She didn't judge on looks alone. That's right. Unfortunately, Olly Mann did. Didn't want to be with the girl with the moustache. Not really. I wonder what Kim Kardashian would look like

had she not gone under extensive hairline retraction and de-monobrowing and others, because she used to be quite a lot hairier. Oh, I didn't know that. She used to have sideburns. Her forehead used to be a lot lower. A Noel Gallagher type. I'd imagine that she has quite the stupendous moustache

if only she would let herself. Okay, but I reckon what happened with her is she probably saw herself on camera and then decided for herself to do something about it. Yeah, when she saw herself in her sex tape sucking all those cocks. And she thought, the angle's fine, but I just don't like the hair.

Actually, I think we may be stumbling upon a solution here for Sam. If Kim Kardashian grew her moustache back, then lots of teenagers around the world would copy. I think that would be harder to get her to do that. If you paid her enough money, she will do literally anything. But I think what Sam might be able to do is take a photograph of him with his girlfriend, bring it up on a computer screen in extreme close-up

for some other reason. Like, you could be demonstrating a photo editing package, right? Just say, look what my computer can do. I can give you a funny face. And then you're looking at the moustache on the screen. Oh, no. And then she can say, oh God, I've got a moustache because it'll be right in front of her.

She can't deny it then. No, this will kill the romance. If she's his possible-to-be girlfriend, you want to stay away from anything as unsanitary as pointing out bodily flaws as if you're in a plastic surgery office. If you spend 12 grand, we could really improve this thing that you didn't realise was a problem. He's not pointing it out.

He's creating a situation where she's pointing... He could be being self-critical about himself, getting her to join in. I'm just saying, I've said right from the outset, this is almost impossible. I'm just searching for solutions. What if he sent an anonymous email and then actually comforted her when she got upset but then it would bring about the conversation where he could say, well, obviously I find you very attractive

despite your slight, hardly noticeable facial hair. No. But by discussing it. No, if you tell someone else about your flaw, that is essentially like providing a massive magnifying glass onto one of the things you feel bad about yourself. So don't do that. Here's an idea though, here's an idea. her uh an appointment at a beauty salon for a facial and then often the

beautician wanting to shill other products will say i can give you a an upper lip wax as well nice that's not a bad idea he's not in the room yes she gets a treat he seems like a very caring yes feminine sensitive guy that's very good... Yeah, but a facial is not the most... I mean, 30 quid? Yep. 30 quid, you never have to look at her moustache again. 10 quid for waxing? Well, you'd have to look at it about every six weeks with regrowth.

She'd pay the waxing, wouldn't she? She's not going to put the extra on his bill. This is perfect because she's going to keep it between her and the therapist. I'm a genius! That's very good. Well done. Although we are still just feeding into a problem the world has created with its antipathy towards natural feminine fur.

We're part of the problem, we're not part of the solution. Sure. In this time of purse strings tightening The internet's a smorgasbord of fabulous free things Like showbiz news, no need for for magazines stalking your old school friends videos of fat kids falling over stealing films and music sharing photos of your nan filing your tax return but by far my favourite free thing to type is answer me

this into Skype. Here's a question from Mike from Liverpool, but in Glasgow. Good. Keep us up to date with your movements, Mike. It's important to know where you are at all times. We can supply a sat-nav if necessary. Suspect is moving south. He's just gone to the kitchen. Mike says, answer me this.

I've heard that superglue was invented During the Vietnam War To quickly patch up soldiers on the field This however, was from the film Dog Soldiers And I'm understandably a little dubious So is this true? Dubious? About dog soldiers?

The greatest war documentary of all time It's surprising there were werewolves they employed in Vietnam And it makes sense doesn doesn't it, in the conflict that you'd have the time to set up a lab and invent superglue. Oh, come, come, because a lot of very, very important inventions were made during wartime because technology had to progress at an extremely

rapid pace. It's unlikely to actually be made in the field, though, is it, Ellen? I mean, actually... I didn't say there was someone stirring a cauldron of glue just outside Hanoi. They didn't have a meth lab on the Viet Cong road. Well, actually, it does in fact have a military background. Yes, I'm not surprised. But it was created during peacetime by the Kodak company.

Really? They had their fingers in so many pies. They did. Once they realised that they couldn't use it how they wanted, they ended up selling it to Loctite, so that's why it was never released under Kodak's name. So what did they want to use it for? They were trying to develop

plastic for gun sights. Oh why? Because they were doing lens technology? Yeah lenses for guns. So they were trying to develop it for that and along the way developed a sort of plastic that I'm not going to bother trying to pronounce because obviously it's got a horrible chemical name that I could never get my lips around. Cyanoacrylate. Oh it is

actually. Shit was that on the top of your head? It is that yeah. And they sold that to Wrigley's. Anyway, they invented that and then realised that its best use was in fact not for making gun sights

but for making superglue so they invented superglue and it was used in Vietnam separately, quite separately like 50 years later to close wounds.

It actually was used for that. Yeah, very sensible. But obviously that was a kind of unofficial, you know, it was a case that a lot of soldiers in Vietnam had it in their own possession and used it as an emergency tactic it wasn't recommended by doctors but apparently it is reasonable as a seal on wounds if you're out in the field well here's a question from paul who

says i'm 43 but when i was a nipper i distinctly remember walking through downing street to get into st james's park o, answer me this. Does this mean that the big, ugly gates at each end of the street are blocking a public right-of-way, and are therefore illegal? Yeah, it is a public right-of-way. Oh, really? But they're not going to let you through those gates. Well, guess

what? If you're the Prime Minister, you can kind of get an exemption on that kind of law. I know, but what if you're just a pleb with a bomb strapped to your front, etc? Well, yes. Just wanting to get to St James' Park. What if? And you don't want to go the long way round.

In the 1920s, they were first erected, in fact, so long before Paul was even thought of. Right, maybe he slipped through the bars as a tiny slim nipper. Originally for the unveiling of the Cenotaph, apparently, and it was just a crowd control measure, just because they thought, you know, lots of people are going to want to come and see that the war was quite a big deal

let's make sure there's not a crush that would be not an appropriate way to remember what happened very sad um so they put up the gates um and then they took them down and then the whole situation in ireland got a little bit tetchy um so they put them up permanently but then uh ireland got independence and they took them down again but then in the 70s it all it all got very bomb-y, so they put them up again. And then they've made them even stronger every 10 years since. So in the 80s and then in the 90s, they've now made them virtually unmovable. They made up adamantium then. In any case, this whole public right-of-way issue,

it's negated by the fact there is apparently, at the same time, the use of common law power to prevent breach of the peace. And that nullifies the issue about the public right-of-way but technically yes you're right it is a public right-of-way why just make it not a public right-of-way saying is it effectively is not one uh here's a question from rob in plymouth uh who says at my uni flat i left a half eaten tin of peaches in the fridge for the day later half eaten tin of peaches for a day's food. That's real student budget there.

Yeah, look, they're having to pay a lot in tuition fees now. Can't just guzzle peaches day in, day out like you did in 2001. I didn't get out of bed unless I had five tins of peaches. Choose the ladder. I left the top covered for hygiene reasons. Good, good to know.

Good general protocol. My health and safety certificate from 1998 teaches me that. And I put it on a higher shelf in the fridge than the meat shelf. Yes, that's good as well, isn't it? Yes, yes. And colder at the bottom, I believe. I don't know, our fridge is absolutely freezing every place. I seem to remember that the uncooked meat should go at the bottom because it's colder. Then why does the salad go at the bottom? It freezes there.

My flatmate told me, Rob continued, that I shouldn't do this as it's apparently a health risk. I don't want any of that tinned peach juice on my raw meat. Considering she's a photographer who microwaves sponge cake, I doubted her sources. What's her being a photographer got to do with it? However, my other flatmates warned me of this too, but none could give me an answer as to why. So Helen, answer me this. However, my other flatmates warned me of this too, but none could give me an answer as to why. So Helen, answer me this. Can leaving an opened tin in the fridge really be bad for my health?

There is quite a strong lobby of people who say, yes, this is very dangerous, the same as a dented tin. Never buy a dented tin. Now, I've been told that and I follow that advice. Well, it is said that the tin coating inside the tin, if allowed to oxidise, that as when the tin is opened yes or if breached by a dent yeah it starts leaking into the food and the organic tin bonds are the most dangerous forms of tin for humans but others are saying don't be silly the amount of time that it would take for the tin to get into your food in toxic quantities be far longer than it took for your food to go off.

Yeah, that sounds like absolute nonsense to me. If there was any danger at all of tinned food having a toxic risk... They probably wouldn't keep it in tins. It wouldn't be as enormously ubiquitous as it is across the whole world. Yeah, because also, when you buy those Turkish tinned mezze things, which I have a lot in my house because I... There's no shame in it. Yeah, that's right.

Yum, yum, yum. There is no shame, but it's also... Stuffed vine also stuff finally i'm aware that as i'm saying this that there will be people listening who have tin soups and i'm talking about tin stuffed vine leaves and i think that makes me sound like a posh idiot with no real touch you're eating old leaves yeah anyway the point is sometimes they have little plastic lids on the bottom and then when it's been open you put the plastic lid on top and you keep it it's bloody encouraging you it's basically saying keep me in the fridge because that's the best thing to do with this tin don't put it into a bowl don't decant me that would be absurd yes what are you doing why are you dirting a bowl exactly the tins already spent so surely the good people of turkey

and their luxury foods would not be telling you to do that if there was any danger of contamination there or quite a lot of tins have a kind of plastic lining oh so you think those are different types of tins to the delmont well my. Oh, so you think those are different types of tins to the Del Monte tin? Well, my father would say that the plastic is also leaching into your food and will kill you somehow.

But also other people say there is no tin in tins because it's a very expensive substance. Yeah. So the whole worry is unfounded. So some very powerful

lobbies going on. I personally am lazy. So I would just come down on the side of not bothering to decant. I still think that's nonsense. Isn't there a coating on the inside of the tin that makes it essentially unreactive?

You know, I think we can have a consensus here and say Rob, play it safe. Don't keep it in the fridge for a week. But if you're talking like you are about eating it within basically 24 hours How long can you resist the open peaches? Exactly. I reckon you can be fine with that, aren't you?

We'd all say that. Although I think this is a good myth not to deflate because often the problem with a communal fridge is that other people eat your food and if they're too afraid of the tin poisoning, then you're quits in. Here's a question from Sally who says in January, I broke my

leg whilst roller skating. My leg bent the wrong way and one person who was watching threw up in their mouth a little bit. So Ollie, answer me this. Have you ever made anyone puke by accident or deliberately? My friend Tom at primary school used to puke every time someone

sang the Diarrhoea song. That's fair enough. It's disgusting. It is disgusting, but it's also hilarious. Which Diarrhoea song? Oh, come on. When you're climbing up a tree and it's trickling down your knee diarrhea diarrhea when you're on the seat for hours and it doesn't smell like flowers diarrhea no that didn't make it to the midlands we had a

different one but the midlands one was really vicious wasn't it well your mum's about to die you're all gonna cry when they've shut down the local industry um but in any case uh he used to have this instant reaction of puking up in his own mouth over lunch. That was very funny. So pretty much, I'd say as much as twice a week, someone would say,

and all they'd have to do is go, when you're climbing up a tree, and he'd just have to run away. So they didn't even have to say the words. No. It could be when you're climbing up a tree and you find a lovely bird's nest and you don't disturb it

because the eggs haven't hatched and he'd be off puking the mash. Too delicate, couldn't handle it. The only place the restraining order doesn't stop me following Helen and Ollie is at twitter.com slash Helen and Ollie. Helen's doing her wee. Ollie's on Sky News.

Martin's gone to work. Helen's been left unattended. Ollie's cat shat a blue thing. Ollie loves his cat. I'm jealous of Ollie's cat. Here's a question from Kevin, who says, I am a 33-year-old man, happily married, with two kids. Really?

Yeah, I'm sure you are. Just trying to inject some with two kids really? yeah I'm sure I'm sure you are just trying to inject some drama into the proceedings now I'm starting to doubt the story you're like a relative TV producer

however recently I've started to think about some of the things in life that I haven't experienced there we are I knew it was coming divorce

infanticide that's right yeah coming from a fairly small town I feel like I missed out on quite a lot when I was a teenager and I'm tempted to start trying new things.

Right, okay. I'll tell you right now, if you give yourself a dead arm and then wank with it, it doesn't feel like someone else is tossing you off. What about if you paint your nails? One key experience that I've never had, says Kevin, is using cannabis.

Okay. I've been with people who have smoked it but never had any myself. I did not inhale. So so ollie answer me this should i try and buy some i wouldn't even know where to get any to try when my wife and kids are away on a weekend with her parents this is such a sweet question it is isn't it should i try should i wait until my wife and children are away i like the idea that his wife will come back from weekend with her parents. They'll be grateful dead,

like pouring out the house. He'll have erased all the curtains with tie-dye bedspreads. He's asking whether he should go and buy some. I think that's unnecessary, Kevin. Think about the wasters that you went to school with. One of them that you could still dial up on Facebook. That's the guy who can get the drugs for you.

Don't buy them yourself. Don't put yourself into a category where you could get in more trouble than for possession. Just get your friend to buy it. And don't wait for your wife to go away. Include her in it. Have some fun together. Maybe she's had it before

and she can roll the joints for you. Perfect plan. Wait till your kids are a bit older, say 15, and then get them to supply you. I know this isn't responsible podcasting, right? I know there's people who are going to listen to this

and say, actually, there are all sorts of side effects that come from cannabis you know if you've got psychiatric problems it's going to trigger them off the long term effects blah blah blah you shouldn't drug drive I know all that right but the spirit of the question is should he try cannabis or not and I'm afraid I'm going to say yes yes he should I really

like it and I've done it like three times in my life so this isn't like I'm not saying I'm super stoner ollie man but actually it is something that i'm glad i've done and i did say to my friend the other day who is a stoner and wanted to watch prometheus while stoned when it comes out that we should prepare for that by me going over to his flat and watching alien while stoned because i've only seen it when not stoned and thought it was a bit rubbish that sounds fucking brilliant um so i'm kind of you know i'd be hypocritical is what i'm saying if i

advise anything else because i'm not sure i've got stoned enough in my life in my young life i don't want to be a stone i don't want to be addicted but i would want to do it a bit more than i have listen drug head i'm going to post the counter argument here which is that i did not try it in my teens because i wasn't interested and it appears that i've not developed because i remain uninterested now maybe I'm saving the drugs until when I'm really old or when I have an incurable illness and I think, alright, what is heroin like?

Well here's another little drug question to end the show. It's from Tom in Torquay who says Ollie, answer me this. Are you aware that there is a legal high called AMT? I was not aware of that.

Nor was I. I was aware of the coffee shop chain AMT, which people sometimes bring our attention to. Yeah, we're aware of it because it's in all the big stations in London. Tom says, I propose that you each have some, no, and record the podcast so you can be doing AMT whilst doing AMT.

Amazing. Because nothing is more entertaining than drugged people recording their thoughts. Well, you say that, but Ziggy Stardust is still a very popular album, Martin. AMT stands for alpha-methyltryptamine, and it was originally studied in the 1960s in antidepressant. Wow, so it's been around for a while then. Yeah.

I'm not sure the idea of us recording a podcast high on drugs is a good idea. High on antidepressants. No. Is it working? Although I've read some AMT FAQs, and they say that you can have a lot of fun looking into mirrors when you're on AMT. Actually, that is a thing that I never enjoy. No, because sometimes your narcissism doesn't...

That's where it all breaks down when I actually see myself. If, listeners, you are going to try AMT, and I'm not suggesting that you do. That's right. Just to be clear. Apparently you should avoid Chianti wine and vermouth and drambuie and banana peel and soy and liver and sauerkraut and marmite. Why? But banana peel and liver is my favourite munchies. That on a Mars bar.

I would go as far as saying don't do it because, based on the Wikipedia page, it seems to be pretty close to MDMA, which is a class A drug. Yeah. I think what we're all saying is go and get a joint and watch Alien. I'm not saying that! I'm saying stay straight. Stay in school.

Anyway. You're like Ian McKay of this podcast. We don't need highs, legal or otherwise to make us happy. All we need is an inbox full of your emails and a Skype box full of your Skypes. Is that it? Yeah.

Will that make me happy? That will. When's it going to kick in? Next Thursday of course helen when we return with another episode of answer me this full of those questions this is the dawning of the age and you can find all of our contact details on our website answer me this podcast.com man where you can also click through to download our jubilee album for only £249. That's one hour of all new material. For those of you that haven't got it yet, please do. Thank you very much. Yeah, don't waste all your money on these

illegal drugs. No, just buy loads of copies of our Jubilee album. That really will make us happy. And then we can spend it all on drugs. Huzzah! And we'll see you next week. Bye!