Answer Me This! - AMT220: Spin the Bottle, Salad and the Electric Chair

Episode Date: June 21, 2012

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Why would you call me maybe when that isn't my name? Answer me this, answer me this Can a nine-year-old food blogger cope with such fame? Answer me this, answer me this Helen and Ollie, answer me this Good evening, you're listening to Answer Me This. I'm Helen Zaltzman. And I'm Ollie Mann. We've got breaking news now on the situation discussed in episode 219

about newscasters saying their names in order to be recognised as the casters of the news. Listeners everywhere have been shooting themselves in the head because it was so boring. But you've got some feedback about it. I have. Peter has written in who says, I'm not sure about your answer as to why the readers of short radio news bulletins give their names. Okay, basically I said because it's an industry thing. People want recognition in the industry. That's a good

reason, Peter. What could you possibly object to in that? I remember being told at school in the 1960s that this tradition was started by the BBC in World War II. I think the worry was that if the BBC pips had been taken over by German propaganda, a subversive message would be inserted.

So, to reassure an understandably terrified audience, BBC newsreaders were told to introduce their bulletins with words such as, this is the news from the BBC and this is John Snagg reading it. I haven't been able to check this out, but I can definitely remember being told it. Like I can remember that there's a monster in the cupboard.

I like a little bit of self-doubt in the listeners When they're writing in to correct us Shows that we're all only human, aren't we? Yeah, none of us can really be bothered to find Secondary and tertiary sources to back up our statements I think this is believable actually Because of the whole Lord Haw Haw Broadcasting from Germany propaganda business

Although, if that was the case Then why is Radio 1's newsbeat still doing it? Yeah They've taken newsbeat. They're telling us stuff about Rihanna that is actually something to do with communism. And also, surely Lord Haw Haw could have just been pretending to be broadcasting for the BBC.

Although I suppose the silly crowd couldn't have thought of that. It seems like it would be unnecessary. But then I suppose in wartime, yes People probably were very reassured, weren't they, by the BBC Well it's time for a question about literature now Oh I thought those years were behind me I'll find something you tell us something about

Specifically, Hamlet Come back kids, it's got the same plot as The Lion King And it's the name of a popular cigar brand It's from Maria Who says, Helen, answer me this What is Hamlet's last name? of a popular cigar brand. It's from Maria, who says, Helen, answer me this. What is Hamlet's last name? Or first name if Hamlet was his last name?

It's his title, isn't it? It's like Hamlet, Prince of Denmark is the title, isn't it? Like Elizabeth, Queen of the Commonwealth or whatever. Yeah, or Robin Hood,

Prince of Thieves. Firstly, I think for many centuries, royals weren't really troubled by surnames. Yep. Not really necessary. Everyone's like, which Hamlet? Oh, royals weren't really troubled by surnames. Yep. Not really necessary. Everyone's like, which Hamlet?

Oh, the prince one. That's right. They were the Madonna of their day. Another thing was that actually people didn't really go in for surnames for a really long time. I think in Britain, at least, which is obviously a greater influence on Shakespeare than the Danish customs, to which we'll come in a minute. It was a trend popularised after the Norman invasion. The population grew quite a lot and the pool of names was really small. Like a third of men were called John, Richard or William.

So then they had to start adding their profession or where they were from or their father's name and son, which you still see as a lot of surnames now. And in Denmark, until the mid 1800s, you had your father's name with son on the end. So he would have been Hamlet Hamletson because his father was called Old Hamlet or Hamlet Ghostson. Awesome. No, because he wasn't a ghost

when he conceived Hamlet, was he? We don't know. I mean, was he legitimate? Because that Gertrude... Could it be Hamlet his uncle's son? I am intrigued by the fact that over the years people have done various interpretations of Hamlet including that

slightly rubbish one with Ethan Hawke and Hamlet 2 starring Steve Coogan and Catherine Keener and Elizabeth Shue as herself. Yeah. But I'm not sure I've ever seen one made by a British or American film director where it's actually properly Danish looking. Which is weird considering it is set in Denmark. What do you actually properly Danish looking. Which is weird

considering it is set in Denmark. What do you consider properly Danish looking? Lots of ginger hair? Well, yeah, to have a Danish actor playing the part, say, or to have extras

that look like they're Danish. I mean, they could do it for The Thing with Norwegians. But now, in the wake of The Killing and Danish crime dramas being really popular,

Hamlet is perfect for that, isn't it? As long as they put Hamlet in the right jumper it's going to be a big hit no but it would make it feel a little bit more authentic

wouldn't it because film's a literal medium and everyone's done these sort of stagey interpretations on film I'd like to see Hamlet set in Denmark please but then

the names in Hamlet itself aren't that Danish sounding never mind Hamlet but Claudius and Polonius are quite Roman sounding names ophelia i'm guessing i'm guessing that shakespeare never actually went to denmark a question from new zealand now and a man called dylan who says hell that's me this what the hell is a salad it's amazing the trends that haven't made their way over to auckland i've never even eaten the grape

you wait till you get milk dylan you guys are it. He says, I know that a leafy green thing with maybe some tomato and a bit of onion is a salad. But where is the line drawn? The problem is there is no such line in this topsy-turvy world we live in. The UN have kept quiet on the matter. Well, I guess he means things like potato salad, doesn't he? Because he goes on to say, Helen, answer me this. What defines a salad? Every definition I try and come up with myself

is easily debunked by some commonly accepted salad or another. It doesn't need to be dressed. It's not always raw. It's not just vegetables. It's not always cold. Where does salad begin and end? It's so hard. It's so hard, isn't it, Dylan?

I think there does have to be a certain amount of chopping, but then you can still have quite large-sized things in a salad. I'm not sure I agree with you. A certain amount of chopping, sure, but I've seen whole sticks of broccoli in a salad. Also, the Americans have those iceberg wedge salads where it's just a quarter of an iceberg lettuce. It's like a kind of...

To do all the work! Green ploughmans. What about mixture? What about a cocktail-style definition? It has to have more than one ingredient. Yeah. Yeah. Couldn't just be lettuce.

Even potato salad's got mayonnaise, usually chives. Yeah, or Caesar salad that's got anchovies and... Yeah, but most dishes have more than one ingredient. That's what makes them a dish rather than an ingredient. So I'm not sure that really applies. It is really difficult and it is contentious as well because I remember when it became fashionable to have duck confit salads.

I was like, well, it's not got any vegetables in it because it's just duck. Highly contentious and controversial, Helen. We are not afraid to approach the controversial subjects and answer me this. This hot potato salad, we will touch it. Boom. Etymologically though,

I thought maybe we'd find the solution, but no, it's from the word salt because it used to refer to brined vegetables. Wow. But it seems that as long as this term has existed, the meaning of it has been very varied. But I do know it's not those weird concoctions of jello and marshmallows that some states of America go in for. That's not salad. I think there are some things we can agree that

actually shouldn't be counted as salad. I'm prepared to accept your argument that pasta salad isn't salad. I get really, really angry listeners about pasta salad because salad's associations are of healthy food, not cold pasta, and it shouldn't be just a meal that has gone cold. Yeah, actually, I saw one today that exactly fits in that description of salad, actually, which was, M&S for the Jubilee have brought out a whole load

of Union flag-branded British classics. Are they still peddling them now that the Jubilee is finished? I imagine they made slightly too many and they slightly overestimated demand. This pasta salad will keep for 48 years. But it looked nice. What it was

was a cold potato salad with some roast beef. And it was called a sort of, you know, roast beef, horseradish and potato salad. Not yesterday's cold dinner. Exactly, but that is,

isn't it? That is yesterday's dinner gone cold with some mayonnaise gunk on it. It looked tasty, but it's not really a salad, M&S. Sort it out. I know it's a really minor gripe.

And as a 30-something man, I probably shouldn't moan about this. You probably shouldn't be coy about your age either, Martin. You're 34. It's not like you're in a boy band and you have to keep it quiet like that old one in Nensink that was 10 years older than the rest of them. He's in a boy band called Minor Gripe. They're very popular. You go and try and buy a salad and it's got pasta in it. You it you think oh there's a nice fucking salad it's got some cheese yes a bit of rocket no idea what lies beneath and then there's

a big stack of i don't have any about that i think that's where the distinction lies i think pasta salad which is just cold pasta with tuna and mayonnaise mixed in it should not be sold as pasta no not fine that should not be sold as pasta salad but if a salad has a small amount of pasta in it like it's a selection box and one of the ingredients is pasta that's okay okay so if it's below 40 yes pasta content what about the salads at pizza express when there's so many dough balls involved it's basically a pizza deconstructed it's really just a matter of arrangement and not ingredients but then that's the case with a lot of italian food yeah't it? Yeah, yep, yep, yep. Oi!

Shut up and answer me this. Come on then. Why don't you shut your ugly face? I'm not ugly, it's the condition. It's no condition, it's the tuggliness, mate. Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Now, thank you.

Seriously, though, go back to your own country. That's what we're all thinking, isn't it? It's what we're all thinking. It's got a question. I ain't got no questions. Don't look at me.

Shut your mouth. So, retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday, we bring you the real story

of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with the Retrospectors. 10 minutes each weekday wherever you get your podcasts. Question from Sam from Hatfield and it is spelt Sam. Yeah with a T. Is that a typo? Is that actually genuinely how the name's spelt? I don't know. In Russian there is a letter that is T. So maybe Sam is Russian and has had to translate their name into Roman letters. Anyway Sam says i work in covent

garden and whenever i walk to work down great queen street i have to go past the grand masonic lodge of the masons i've done this at least four times a week for the last couple of years and it suddenly struck me that i've never seen a female mason going in or out of the building there's a thing ollie answer me this are there any female Masons or is it a male-only order of chauvinists? That's not what's on the crest, is it? Order of chauvinists.

I think it's safe to assume that there are no female Masons because the only way there could be in the UK is if they joined before 1723. Oh, and most women,

even though they aren't men, are dead who were around then. Yeah, I think that's safe to say. So yeah, new constitution for the Masons in 1723. Really? What changed? They're like sick of these women with their corsets. Yeah, they're like, we don't want

no bitches around here in the Freemason Hall. Good lord. I don't know what to be more offended by, the fact that Freemasons don't allow women or that. Go to France if you want to be a female Mason. They have mixed lodges there. Vraiment? Yeah. Actually, there are mixed lodges here,

and there are women's lodges here, but they're not part of the official Freemasonry business. Okay, so they don't get the secret handshake or the special apron. Well, I think they do. They just don't get the same one. Where do you stand on the idea of clubs that say, no, we're a gentleman's club, we're for men only? I think it's pretty stupid,

particularly when it's something like golf clubs. See, I don't like it either, but I don't think it's the same as discriminating on sexuality or on race or on disability. Because everyone is either a man or a woman, I think you can express a preference for whether you'd rather your club was a gentleman's drinking club or a lady. You know, same with the Women's Institute. I wouldn't want the Women's Institute to have to accept men either. I think it's fine to allow clubs to exist that are for one gender or the other i suppose the notion is that the women's institute is too trivial for men to want to be interested in because it's all about cake baking and flower arranging stuff whereas the masons are too secret and important yeah but

but that's kind of mythology isn't it about the masons that it's all that it's a as they say a secret society rather than a society with secrets. Secrets presumably being where they've buried all the bodies. Yeah, because considering that I always thought it was reputed to be very secretive, one does still know quite a lot. There's a lot of information about it. Such as the existence of the aprons and the handshake. What are the aprons for, anyway?

Because it's from stonemasons, isn't it? It's to keep the crap off of people. And actually, the Women's Institute probably got aprons too, so maybe they have more in common than we thought they did. Does it appeal to you at all, the idea of being a member of a sort of secret society, or even just any club, really? I'm not a team player, so all the clubs can go hang up. I prefer to bake cakes and do handshakes alone.

I'm a member of the Institute of Physics, that's like the Masons. You don't even open the post that they send you. Martin does spend a lot of time doing the old solo handshake though, don't you, Martin? Physicists have to master that. It's Emma Jones from London. So basically, we had this game at school where, you know, you spin the bottle, basically. And I kissed my best friend's boyfriend

and she wasn't at the party. I didn't tell her, but somebody got it on video and showed it to her. And now she's really upset with me. What do I do? Maybe film her a video where you're not kissing her boyfriend. What did you expect to happen? Spin the bottle so hard that time reverses and you don't do it. Because when you think, I'd better

not kiss this person because they're going out with my friend, if you then get hit by the bottle and spin the bottle, you don't have to think, I'm legally obligated to do this. What is the worst that's going to happen to you if you go, I can't do this for moral reasons? Yeah, but the whole point of spin the bottle is it provides a context.

It shakes up some stale relationships, doesn't it? It provides a context in which you can pretend that kissing is required and therefore not a choice whereas actually of course when it lands on the girl or the guy that you really don't want to kiss you spin again don't you? I've never played I've never been invited. Everyone who kisses

wants to do it really. But the thing is though by the time I was going to parties where both genders were invited i.e. we weren't ten. We were too old to play such games. I don't know, it's been the bottle you can play playing to late teens, can't you? I think really it's best played when you're in your teens because as a child it's meaningless

really and as an adult it's just mortifying and really sad. I think in my teens it would have been a bit gross because most of my friends were geeky boys and they definitely did not want to kiss each other or Or probably girls either. Did you ever see Truth or Dare starring Madonna? No. Was it...

Sounds repellent. ...sexual? It was pretty sexual, yes. It was basically just a tour film. Oh. The scene that everyone remembers, which is why it was called Truth or Dare. I mean, actually, in the UK,

it was called In Bed With Madonna. Oh, yes. But it's since been re-released everywhere as Truth or Dare. Because she's got that fragrance that's called Truth or Dare. Yeah, she probably... Has she actually? I think so, yeah. It's since been re-released everywhere as Truth or Dare. Because she's got that fragrance that's called Truth or Dare. Yeah, she probably... Has she actually? I think so, yeah. Brown synergy.

Madonna. There's a scene where she insists that her roadies and crew and dancers play Truth or Dare with her. And I guess this is the only footage that they had of Madonna actually socialising with people that she works with. Because she's above that. And so this became the sort of central moment of the film as she snogs all these sort of hunky Latino dancers. Oh, God, it'd be awful, wouldn't it, to be a good-looking dancer that was working for Madonna in the 90s because you were going to have to put out.

Yes. Even if you were gay, even if you found the sight of her sickening, you were going to have to do it. And on stage as well, in a stadium. It is incredible to think if that was the other way around. If it was you two playing spin the bottle with all their female backing dancers, that would be really outrageous.

It's just sexual harassment. Because they're being paid to be there yeah yeah it's you're you're the boss you get sacked if you don't work me off it's fine it is unfair these people are on her payroll it's over time so what can imogen actually do in this this spin the bottle debunk um well i think a lot of very crawly apologies and emphasized her that you don't fancy her boyfriend it was the pressure of the game and you're being really stupid. And she can snog your boyfriend when you next have one, but maybe your friend has pre-existing issues with trusting her boyfriend.

And really this has just brought them to the surface. Yeah, but isn't it remarkable how the filming of the event is what has led this to really come crashing down like a house of cards? This would not have happened in our childhood. Exactly. You didn't have phones with cameras in and stuff. I'm quite glad.

She probably would have found out in the end. Someone would have tittle-tattled on her. Yes, there was, of course, a very vigorous social network purely by word of mouth. That sounded like such an old person thing to say. When I was a girl, we had social networking which we called talking to each other. Which we called Web 0.0. The thing is, though, even if it lands on someone that you do want to snog really even

if someone isn't filming it like in this situation the issue is you are doing it in front of all of your contemporaries yeah and that's you know it's almost like some sort of weird tribal ceremony isn't it and if you actually fancy each other you don't want everyone else to be watching you've got a boner in that case you probably want that game where you go into the cupboard yeah i've read about this game online i can't believe that that certainly never happened when to be watching as you've got a boner. In that case, you probably want that game where you go into the cupboard for a few minutes. I've read about this game online. I can't believe that that certainly never happened

when I was a child. No, you'd be lucky. Yeah, well, I wouldn't have needed seven minutes. But a game where you just say, right, I'm going to choose you and we're going to go

in a cupboard for seven minutes and fill each other up. That's not a game. That's a bloody sexual assault. Or just talk it out. Had you heard of that game, Martin? I only see 30 Rock. Not in life. Well, it appears to be an American thing

I found another one as well That apparently has been a big deal In elements of Chicago and San Francisco Really? Called a rainbow party What's that? Any guesses? It's not one of those ones

Where you wear different colours Depending on whether you're available No that would be sweet Compared to what it is Is it where you have to try and puke All the colours of the rainbow According to what drinks you've had? That would be sweet Compared to what it is. Is it where you have to try and puke all the colours of the rainbow according to what drinks you've had? That would be sweet compared to what it is.

Oh, no! What it is, teenage girls wearing different shades of lipstick perform oral sex on boys. No! Aiming to leave a rainbow of colours around their cocks. Oh, so sordid. Gives new meaning to kiss the rainbow, doesn't it? I'm never going to have Skittles the same again.

Think how many things that you buy every day that you could live without. Your special fancy coffee. Your box of thought and stuffy. Your prescription meds for gout. If you save up all that cash, you'll have plenty to spend on our first three years episode.

That's more than 60 hours of Answer Me This This which is guaranteed to make your ears explode Go to answermethispodcast.com slash classic to splurge your dog And if you help

to fund our show we can upgrade our old Apple Macintosh Because it breaks every three years but we do like Apple our shows on iTunes as well Here's a question now

from a lady who comes from a place named after a geeky sounding man. It's Ariane from Eugene, Oregon. That's where Frank Black lives. Good fact. That's where the University of Oregon lives. Not such a good fact. Perfectly serviceable.

Just suffered in comparison with the Frank Black one. I have nothing about Eugene, Oregon. It's in a popular wine producing region. I could take that fact as my own. Okay I'll do that. It's in a popular wine producing region. I could take that fact as my own. Okay, I'll do that. It's in a popular wine producing region. Don't know if you know. Oh, yeah.

She says, I recently came home to discover my pitbull had chewed up my knitting bag. That pitbull collaborating with J-Lo and now this. Later, as I was cleaning up, I saw that the pitbull had chewed the tip off one of my bamboo cable knitting needles thank goodness didn't have metal ones these are only about four dollars but as a

broke student I can't afford to replace them so Helen answered me this as the rest of the needle is undamaged can I use a pencil sharpener to make a new tip yes use the pencil sharpener and then sand it gently so that it's not too sharp and splintery at the end you know i find the idea of using craft to make your own craft tools unbearably crafty ellen well here's a question from duffy from northwood who says ollie answer me this what is the point of a stage name surely it must be more annoying to have people yelling some made-up name at you expectantly rather than the name you're brought up with especially actors who have a different name in each film anyway that's not the actors that's the characters yeah i think he's confusing the script for real life there yeah they keep their name and actually in a way because they

can hold on to their real birth name when they check into hotels or in their official literature driving licenses and whatever it's quite nice to actually be the actor when you go on to the film set or the theater isn't it yeah or vice versa like natalie portman took the name natalie portman because she wanted to protect her private identity in her family life so when she went to university she did it under her real name of natalie herschlag why would you want to give up her surname but that makes quite a lot of sense doesn't it and then other times they don't really have a choice because there's already an actor with their real name on spotlight or equity or you know there's that real classic thing of the people making them into stars are like your name

is too boring yes like lauren bacall that is a much more glamorous name than betty persk and then other people change their names because casting was racist so like martin sheen and rita hayworth yeah they didn't want to appear to be hispanic in origin yeah yeah yeah that was obviously very common is martin sheen and esther bez yeah he is he's still legally in esther bez i mean my mum had Rita Hayworth. Yeah. They didn't want to appear to be Hispanic in origin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was obviously very common. Is Martin Sheehan an Estevez? Yeah, he is. He's still legally an Estevez. I mean, my mum had the thing that her name, Karen Mann,

was taken by another actress. The name she chose as her stage name was the name from her first marriage, which is a bit weird. Does she have any professional strains

where she uses her maiden name? Yeah, she's got all kinds of aliases. She's got like five, hasn't she? She does this thing where when she books a restaurant table, she always books it under a set name, which obviously I'm not going to say on the podcast because the restauranteurs of London will realise that she's had them on.

Well, Conchita Tithead is not real. But yeah, she calls up and she says, can I have a table at eight for Conchita Tithead? And then when we get there, I know to say, if I meet my parents in a restaurant, oh yeah, it's Conchita Tithead's table. I'm with the know to say if I meet my parents in a restaurant oh yeah it's Conchita Tithead's table I'm with the Tithead party the reason is

that she can cancel the table then and it doesn't reflect badly on her real name but what I don't understand it reflects really badly on Conchita Tithead exactly

she's always Conchita Tithead so then it just looks I mean they don't care what her real name is it's still the same person yeah that's what I don't understand it's like if Katy Perry

was fiddling her tacks and she was like ah but my real name is Katy Hudson yeah so it's fine they're like no that's not Hudson yeah so it's fine that works hi Ellen and Ollie this is Sean from Telford um I heard a rumor the other day that the Irish blue rock guitarist Rory Gallagher that his guitar was so battered and weathered and and road worn that that was because he had a really rare blood group

and his sweat was very acidic. And it basically acted as a sort of paint stripper when it made contact with the guitar. So Hanan Ali answered me this. Is it possible, if you are of a certain blood group, for your sweat to act as paint stripper? It's pretty well known that sweat in your fingers will degrade strings more quickly and in fact there are various chemicals

you can put on the strings to coat them but to actually eat through the lacquer of a guitar, because I think he played like an electric guitar to eat through the lacquer of that stuff. Yes, it was a 1961 Fender Strat and all of the sunburst varnish was stripped off. You wouldn't do that with your sweat,

and why would your blood group affect what's in your sweat? Yeah, exactly. What kind of blood group would he have? He'd have to have something inherited from the dinosaurs. Well, okay, well, speculatively, because this rumour is from RoryGallagher.com, but it doesn't say which blood group he has, it just says he has a rare one.

So the rarest blood group is AB negative, and I don't know whether their sweat is especially acidic. And apparently usually acidic sweat is because of your diet. But anyway, he was apparently a very famously sweaty performer. And the 1961 Strat, the varnish wasn't as heavy as it was today, so it was easier to erode. And so presumably, you know, just it being damp from anything. And also, that guitar was stolen once

and recovered from a ditch in the rain. So that would damage it, surely. Here's an Olly Mann blood libel. Okay. Apparently, I have exceedingly big veins. Do you? Couldn't have hit me. Who did you have to blow to get them?

This is according to the nurse at the blood donation clinic off Oxford Street. Last time I went there. Was she flirting with you? She's like, oh, look at you with your big veins. Very much the opposite of that, actually. I'd love to feel those palpating against me. No, she was trying to get me over and done with as soon as possible.

And said, oh, you've got nice big veins. This will be quick. I did a time of four minutes, 11 seconds. Did she give you a happy finish? Well, she gave me a cup of tea and a packet of walkers. So yes. In my world, very much yes. That's very quick, because it takes me cup of tea and a packet of walkers. So yes. In my world, very much yes.

That's very quick because it takes me ten minutes. My dainty lady veins. Here's a really another light-hearted question from Nick from Colorado

who says, Helen, answer me this. Who was the first person to be victimised by an electric chair? And also victimised is really the correct word. No, it suggests

that the chair goes following them, doesn't it, rather than a punishment that they've been given. The bullying chair. The first person to be executed by electric chair, which I assume is what he means,

was William Kemmler, who was killed on August the 6th, 1890, at Auburn Prison in New York State. What did he do? He had killed his wife with a hatchet. Sounds like a bad man. It was a common law wife, sorry, so it's fine. It's fine, isn't it? Yeah. But the first person to be sentenced to death, but he didn't actually get it because

he was commuted to life, was a man called Joseph Chaplot, who had poisoned his neighbour's cows. Wow. That's extraordinary. Wow. And when was that? 1890, and they'd only had electricity for like ten years by then, hadn't they? Well, also, it seems like Thomas Edison

was all up in the electric chair development. He electrocuted an elephant, didn't he? What? He was trying to prove that alternating current was really dangerous because it was Tesla's invention. Yeah, well, he was really against it because it wasn't his because he was all like, I'm on the direct current side, so fuck you alternating current, even though you're cheaper

and probably better for a lot of people. And he used to go around the country with an electrified platform onto which he would lure cats and dogs that he bought off schoolboys. What a prick! And so everyone could see them die. What a fucking monster! AC must be well dangerous. But anyway, it seems that the electric chair was invented

by a disciple of Thomas Edison, Alfred Southwick, who was a dentist. And it was a chair rather than another piece of furniture because he's a dentist and he fetishises chairs. And they it the day before kemler's death uh by electrocuting a horse how do you even get a horse in a chair do you have anything to say for your last name where did you get a horse to sit down i don't really understand the electric chair as a as a punishment i i know that people listening will say well of course not because all capital punishment is wrong i agree i think all capital punishment is wrong. I agree.

I think all capital punishment is wrong. I can see how a country arrives at the conclusion that they want it. What I don't understand is why they'd choose a method that is so sadistic and vindictive. I mean, what's wrong with a lethal injection? Well, they didn't have it then.

That was invented later. What's wrong with hitting someone with a car or a saucepan repeatedly with an electric chair? Tom and Jerry. Well, because they were using hanging before the electric chair was invented, and that would often go wrong. The rope had to be the optimal length so that it didn't just rip your head off.

Even the guillotine then, that's better than the electric chair. What a system. It's quick, efficient, it's not nice for the person, but like I say, it's not a nice system at all. Firing squads, I'm sure that's... Effective. But seriously, you are saying, by having the electric chair, that everyone who runs this state is a complete sadist.

Often it doesn't work. So William Kemmler, he was given the 1,000 volts, which had managed to kill the horse, and he wasn't quite dead. So they gave him 2,000 volts. And did that kill him? Well, yeah, eventually, but it wasn't very nice. Eight minutes. Eight minutes?

And apparently really stank. Well, it would do. You're bloody frying someone, aren't you? Anyway, there's a lovely website called executedtoday.com if you want every day to be marked by a famous execution anecdote. Oh, yes, please. Who wouldn't want to wake up to that? Good.

Well, actually, Nick has a supplementary question, Helen. He says, answer me this. Google shopping results for electric chairs are quite unhelpful. Good. Do you know where I can get one? You could probably get a massage chair and then just Jimmy the Electrics. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, hey! Woo!

I'm crazy, wacky, Georgia bird! Ho, ho, ho! Hey, nonny, nonny, Helen and Ollie! Answer me this. Why's my piss blue? Woo! I'm crazy! Woo!

Pull me big and hard! Here's a question from Ed from London who says, I've just come back from sleeping at a friend's house after a party. I had about £100 in the jacket I was wearing whilst I was sleeping and I cannot find it anymore. Oh dear. The thing is, I believe a mutual acquaintance of the host and myself robbed me in my sleep.

You're going to need some proof. He's not calling the police here, Helen. He's looking for sympathy. Can't you just say, oh, that's a shame? Oh, what a rotter. I can remember every purchase and how much I had. Are you sure? You did fall asleep in your jacket.

That suggests to me someone who's a bit haphazard. Don't know if you would remember exactly how much money you had and how much you got in change. I remember everything up to about 6pm. Exactly, yeah. You could have got a cab and been like, take us to the seaside before we go home. Plus, the boy I'm accusing is a slight down-and-out figure.

Oh, that's fair enough then. Who's been disowned by his parents for being a bit of a shit. Good that you put yourself in the vulnerable position of sleeping with a large amount of cash on you, though, near him. Also, apparently unfounded rumours suggest he has stolen before during his present tour from couch to couch. So Helen, answer me this. How do I deal with this, seeing as if I accuse him it will be mighty awkward

whether I'm right or wrong? Well, I suppose the first thing to do is to say to your friend i had a load of cash um and i don't have it anymore have you found any around the house could you ask anybody else if they found it while i was there so then well partly you're putting the problem on to somebody else so he's got to ring up this dodgy boy going do you happen to have 100 pounds in cash that you didn't have previously okay so then he does that and then the host does what makes the embarrassing phone call. Yeah.

And then no one's going to say, oh yes, I did steal £100. So then what? The problem is, it's very hard to accuse somebody else of stealing. I think, unless you've got proof, what are you going to be able to do realistically? Almost anyone else who was there could just say you were drunk and you don't remember. Yeah. If you want to find out once and for all whether he did it, you're going to have to confront him about it.

If you're going to have to see him through your mutual friends, that's going to be incredibly awkward forever. Oh, we're being so English, though, aren't we? He's like, oh, well, I don't mind losing the money because getting it back is so incredibly awkward. I think that's so much money that if you had any reason to actually believe that it was this person, you should do something about it. But you can't. You can't just go, oh, you know, you look a bit scruffy,

so did you take my money? That's fucking rude, isn't it? Yeah. You really need proof. He's got a dodgy face. Seems like a lot of money to have in your pocket anyway. I mean, he went out for nights

and after this night he'd been out on including drinks and still had £100 left. So £100 left. That's beginning of the night money, isn't it? I mean,

I don't mean to be unsympathetic because theft is wrong but this guy's got a lot of cash to have lying around, doesn't he? He can probably spend that. Yeah, so theft is fine, everyone, if it's someone rich.

Theft is fine if it's just really too awkward to sort it out. It's the new Crimestoppers campaign. Well, it's really too bad that we cannot get this £100 back, but we cannot stop the human race being bad. That's right. We're not miracle workers. We're just question answerers. Yes, and if you've got any questions for us to answer, then please send them in via email, Skype or phone for next week's

episode and all of our contact details are listed on our website. AnswerMeThisPodcast.com And you can hear us answering those questions in next week's show which you can get for free. It's a steal! See what I did? Like the bloke stealing the money. It's a steal. Pretty good. Does that mean you

can't really steal podcasts? That is a really interesting ethical dilemma, isn't it? Because you can steal an iPod with podcasts on it. I suppose someone could take our podcast and put it on their own feed and pretend it was theirs. But why would you do that? And we'll see you next week. Bye!