Answer Me This! - AMT221: The Owl and the Pussycat, Bridesmaids and Pole Dancing

Episode Date: June 28, 2012

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Now the football is over, can we please have our pubs back? Has to be this, has to be this When Balzac was a schoolboy, did they nickname him Balzac? Has to be this, has to be this Helen and Ollie, has to be this So this is what about 20% of the correspondence you've sent us in the last week sounds like. Tut, tut, tut, Ollie man man what an idiot you are for falling for the notion of rainbow parties

and obvious fiction of sexual deviant parties. Well I did have some scepticism about the fact that they may have happened at all. I was surprised to read that they did. But where did you read that? On the obvious lies page of fibbers.com. I think you'll find Helen that my research technique is watertight

I'll give you a little glimpse listeners listeners, under the magician's cloth here. Us writer-broadcasters use a little resource called google.com. Just keep that to yourselves because soon everyone will start using it. I trusted you. When you presented this to me as fact and poo-pooed my doubts, I thought, this must be a real thing that happens, despite all one's instincts that it doesn't. To be fair to me, though, Helen, I think as I established last week,

the idea of any kind of party as a teenager that involved any sort of contact with the opposite sex at all felt like something of an exotic fantasy. Let alone a party that involved so many blowjobs you were keeping a kind of penile tithe. Here's a question from Chris from Cardiff in Australia who says, I've been cast as a recurring character in my university's law review. In the second act of the show, I get shot twice by the police. Only lawyers could turn that situation

into lighthearted sketch comedy. Naturally, I have to collapse dramatically onto the floor. I just got back from rehearsals, and not surprisingly, it really hurts to collapse onto a hard wooden floor multiple times. No, really. How many lawyers does it take to work that one out?

Sue them, sue them all. Ollie, answer me this. Is there a good way to reduce the discomfort of collapsing dramatically to the floor? The review isn't until August, so we have a bit of time to prepare. Yeah, of course there is. Actors don't just fall straight down, do they?

No, I've done this loads in plays. You go limp from each of your joints in turn, so knees first, then hips, then your upper body. That means that your fall is a lot slower. So you just essentially crumple to the ground rather than doing a massive fall. The thing is, when someone dies in a play, it's just instinct, isn't it, from the audience's part,

that you're going to be looking at their tummy to see if it's still going up and down, when you know it is, because they're acting. You know it is. And yet I always find myself looking, oh, they're not acting properly because I can see they're still alive. They're breathing.

They should be going into a meditative state whereby their breathing slows, their heartbeat slows. Yeah. Whereas there really is no stage effect you can do to combat that. Here's a question from Sam, who says,

the other day, my girlfriend said she'd seen a child with an ice cream cone instead of a flake stuck in the top. It had an ice lolly stuck tip down in the ice cream. Obviously, at the time time i dismissed this as a flight of fancy however i too have since witnessed this remarkable scene and was intrigued so ollie

asked me this is this a common trend amongst the youth of today or is this a weird yorkshire thing we live in sheffield well i'm locating this phenomenon to letchworth in 1991 so it's very much not localized maybe like the parrots from South East London, it has slowly been creeping northwards. Or maybe it is this same ice cream man who has now gone north as well. I don't like the idea of ice lolly combined with the kind of shaving cream ice cream. They're for different things, aren't they? I don't want both those tastes at the same time.

It's like having milk and orange juice. Yeah, but what you've got to think of it as is a three-course meal. You use the lolly as the sort of palate cleanser, the aperitif. Then the ice cream itself, the creamy bit of the ice cream, obviously that's the main meal, and then the cone is pudding. So you've got the worst thing for pudding. That's rubbish. Yeah, but no one likes the cone.

If you could replace the cone with a funnel of human skin, I'd rather eat that. But it has to come in something, doesn't it? I bet you've tried doing that. You've been peeling your heels off just to make this. Here's a ridiculous thing. Ice cream vans at equestrian centres. I've been to see my girlfriend riding a horse numerous times.

What's the problem with that? Because, guess what? If you bring a loud vehicle to an equestrian centre and they go... Oh, good point. The horses don't like it very much. Oh, maybe the horses are lactose intolerant. Hi, Helen and Arnie. This is Lucy from Brighton.

So, I'm lying down in my room on a bed made of cushions and the reason i'm doing this is that my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me and completely broke my heart texted me yesterday to ask whether he could disassemble my bed and reassemble it in a conference centre for an art installation, and I let him. So, Helen and Ollie, answer me this. What the hell am I doing? Well, I think the answer to that is pretty much contained in the question. What you're doing is you're still obsessed with this boy,

and you're doing anything he asks you because you're still kind of in love with him, and now you're regretting it because you're depressed because you split up well also you're regretting it because you realize that this is a really stupid unreasonable demand but your poor heart has made your brain weak and you didn't have the resistance to refuse this cad anything that you want well it sounds kind of boho and cool doesn't it hey can i take your bed apart because i'm going to put it in an art exhibition who does he think he is tracy emin if it's part of an exhibition called bed belonging toing to Massive Bitch, then you've definitely

made a mistake. But also, do you think she's thinking, he wants my bed, that must mean he still likes me. On a subliminal level? Yeah.

No. There's contact, isn't there? It's having some contact with this guy. I don't think after a break-up you should even lend somebody a CD that you hope to get back, let alone something as large

and useful as a bed. But how arty is this anyway if it's in a conference centre? Usually corporate art isn't the highly conceptual type that useful as a bed. But how arty is this anyway if it's in a conference centre? Usually corporate art isn't the highly conceptual type that might demand a bed. Well, if it is bought for a lot of money, then do you want your bed back or are you happy for him to buy you another one?

Well, her bed might have increased dramatically in value depending on this artist. That's true. You've got to think about that, Lucy. If it goes away and this bed is now worth Half a million pounds Yeah Tracey Emin's bed Would have been worth Unbelievable amounts more

Than she bought The constituent parts for Then is it still The artwork anymore If it goes back home And it's not in the gallery And it's not laid out In a particular way

Surely the work Was when you saw it In that particular context No no Because then it's In a private collection Do you see what I mean Like on Tracey Emin's bed

Like the used johnnies Out of context Yes That's disgusting Yeah But I don't think You'd even be able to collection do you see what i mean like on trace emin's bed yeah like the used johnny's yeah out of context yes that's disgusting yeah but i don't think you'd even be able to ebay use johnny as featured in trace emin's work for more than about a fiver but as part of the work it can be worth a million pounds yeah but that's what makes it art doesn't it it's the thought that combines the bed and the used johnny's you know i like to think i'm a man of the modern world helen i like to think i'm a man of the like i don't know late 70s early though. You're a man of the, I don't know, late 70s, early 80s? Well, 1870s.

For me, art, when you just recontextualise something, doesn't count. It's just not good enough. I'm not one of these people who says, oh, it has to be a painting. It doesn't have to be a painting. But when you go to... Helen and I, we went to the Jeremy Deller exhibition at the Hayward Gallery.

One of the things that he'd done was take an Arabic woman and put her in a room. And she was next to a blown up car And that was the installation It was like a car from Fallujah or something And it was supposed to really make you think It's actually just a person sitting on a sofa What about recontextualising half a shark?

Yeah, or oil Do you remember when they filled Was it the Saatchi Gallery with a big pool of oil? To make you think about oil If all you're doing is saying Look, here's a thing that looks ordinary But by putting it in this different room I've really made you think of it but you can't you kind of have but you could have just taken a photo of it it would have done the same thing yeah it annoys me too and generally

i do prefer art where some kind of aesthetic skill has gone into it but in defense of the kind of retrieved objects type art if someone says it's art then it's art because you're thinking about the thought that went behind it to present it to you in its context. I don't really believe in this defence, but that is the defence that could be made and it's what happens when my dad and my brother get into an argument about what is art over Christmas dinner.

Well, actually, the really weird thing about this Jeremy Deller exhibition in particular was it completely ate itself because at the end there was a reconstruction of his teenage bedroom. And what he'd done as a teenager was um take over the house where his parents were away for a weekend invite a load of people around to a happening where he turned everything into art and they'd recreated that

worst kids party ever don't sit on the sofa with your cider because that is one of the exhibits but they'd recreated his teenage bedroom in the gallery so that you could experience what it was like to be there. And then are you supposed to be judging the art as it was then or is the art the recreation of the bedroom? The latter, because the art as it was then would not have had a load of middle-aged people like us looking respectfully in the cupboards. Yeah.

Do you think artists generally are any good at assembling furniture? My dad is an artist and he's very handy at furniture, cutting down trees, rehanging a fridge door so that opens on the left rather than the right that's a good skill yeah i've always thought the first episode of every reality show should be that they get into the big brother house eg and they've just got loads of flat packs or because the tension in having to put flat packs together is so great yeah you've got built-in drama and argument and i said that to a reality tv producer that i met and they said yeah it's always suggested someone always says that yeah right never work

never work because it's boring tv i was like it's boring when they just sit around and drink bloody orange champagne for the night wouldn't be boring once they came to blows which would happen within about five minutes wouldn't even have to edit it down and then they'd have to sleep on a really uncomfortable bed for 10 weeks why is it listing on two axes when they shagged it a collapse producers of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, on the first day get them to dig the latrine. Yeah, that would be good as well. Bloody dare you.

If you've got a question email your question to answer me this podcast at googlemail.com answer me this podcast at googlemail.com answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast

at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History?

On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American Airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors.

10 minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. Are you sitting comfortably, children, for it is story time. Yay! Story, story. There was a young man called Dean. Whose knickers were never very clean. And he says, my teenage daughter... I'm now thinking of a man with unclean knickers the whole way through this.

There was a young man called Dean, whose hygiene was always pristine. Right, thank you, That's much more helpful. Anyway, yes, Dean from Glasgow says, my teenage daughter came home from school to announce that the children's nursery rhyme, The Owl and the Pussycat, was actually a story of how the author had an affair and ran away with his lover. What?

Yeah, right. So, Helen, answer me this. Is this based on anything factual? It's a nonsense poem. I haven't really found any evidence that it means anything. Edward Lear wrote it for a three-year-old daughter of a friend of his. Yeah, but Lewis Carroll wrote Alice in Wonderland for a young lady daughter of a friend,

and that's got all sorts of notions. Edward Lear, though, there doesn't seem to be any insinuation that he had the hots for this three-year-old. Apparently his sexuality was hard to call, but he never married, and people think actually he didn't have much of a sexuality at uh hard to call but he never married and people think actually he didn't have much of a sexuality at all so because he never married how is he supposed to have an affair and run away with somebody huh huh answer me that that's not to say that there's not some sort of sexual double meaning in this kind of poetry for kids though

this is a poem that does three times have the line what a beautiful pussy you are surely that's partly there because it's quite funny for adults reading it out to kids to say that repeatedly. On the other hand, though, it did mean cat. It's like when he wrote the pobble who has no toes, it wasn't a metaphor for the guy who had no penis. Yeah, I mean, there's lots of, obviously, stuff about nonsense poetry that doesn't make sense,

hence nonsense poetry. It rhymes. That's all the sense it makes. Although, yeah, but some of the things that are in there that aren't even there to rhyme don't, like, why would you wrap up all that money in a £5 note? If you're trying to secrete money about your person You'd wrap it up in a lettuce leaf wouldn't you? Putting a £5 note on it is revealing the fact that it's money

Why would you wrap honey in that note as well? That's going to make all the money sticky The thing is they're not thinking practically Because they're swept away by the romance Actually why would an owl and a pussycat get it on? If anything the cat would claw him to death Or the owl could crush the cat with its talons Why do I sense that Martin's going to, why would an owl and a pussycat get it on? If anything, the cat would claw him to death. Or the owl could crush the cat with its talons. Why do I sense that Martin's going to come in with an owl fact?

Yeah, the owl would fuck it up. And also, why are they getting married by a pig? I don't think any of those animals really hang out. Why are they on a boat? Because cats are frightened of water, generally. But the fact is, it's a story. It's a bit of a silly story with lots of silly elements. It's a stream of consciousness.

It's free association. Some of it you could do, though, couldn't you? You could get a boat in that colour if you wanted to. I mean, you'd probably cost a bit more than an average coloured boat. You could travel away for a year and a day, but you might get abducted by Somali pirates. And also, you're going to have an issue there with your round-the-world traveller ticket, aren't you?

If you go for a day over the year, it'd be so much cheaper just to go for a year. Well, also, you have to travel in one direction only, don't you, with a lot of those tickets? You can dance under the light of the moon as well. Of course. That's the only part of this that rings true. That bit has real resonance for me.

This is John from Loughborough. So Helen and Ollie, answer me this. What pain is it that men find porn, the climax to porn where the guy finishes in the girl's face, as erotic. I mean, so many porn films end with this. But yet, for what possible reason would we as human beings find this erotic? Evolutionary speaking, we should be expecting the proper sex act to be the most erotic. So, answer me this, Helen Olly.

I didn't even watch porn, unlike, I'd imagine, the two of you, and this seems like a perfectly obvious thing to me that people would want to watch because they want to know that a real orgasm has occurred rather than it being all faked. Yeah, so it's sort of the proof, proof of the salty pudding. Ugh. And I suppose, for a lot of men,

it's like the conquering of the flesh. And I suppose for a lot of men, it's like the conquering of the flesh. And also for a lot of years, people were relying on the pull-out method for contraception. Yeah, well, actually, but that's, you know, that's a point in pornography as well, of course, is that you've often... Do they have these little conversations? I don't want to get pregnant, though.

And the other one says, well, we can't use condoms because aesthetically it's frowned upon in porn. Have you got a tissue? No, I haven't. Oh, just use just use my face no i've never seen that particular dialogue happen helen um but implicitly obviously you're you're often dealing with a depiction of unprotected sex of course there's still a danger of stds being transmitted uh in the pre-ejaculate but uh you know you clearly most at risk aren't you at the point of ejaculation so i guess you are minimizing the risk by pulling out at that point um of pregnancy as well as of std so i do think that's part of it actually i'd imagine a lot of our listeners are the products of the failure of the pull-out method of contraception

also when john says there that there's no evolutionary reason why men would be interested in seeing other men ejaculate well there's no evolutionary reason why men would want to see another man dressing as a plumber and going to service a woman's boiler. I did once read a really interesting study about how the fact that there is actually evidence that men ejaculate more when they see other men ejaculate.

Really? And it comes down to a primeval thing which is to do with wanting to have the strongest ejaculate, wanting to have the strongest shot. And therefore you are more likely to have a more explosive ejaculation if you have the strongest shot yeah and therefore you are more likely to have a more explosive uh ejaculation if you have witnessed someone else because you want your sperm to

conquer the egg so stop watching all of that girl on girl porn men if you want to have super sperm you know it's in all kinds of porn straight gay bisexual everything that you see the cum shot so it's not you know it's not limited to people that find looking at men erotic it gets gross once there's too much of it i I saw that Annabelle Chong film and it was depressing at the end. Yeah, there's a niche of pornography that even I didn't know about that I found out about today

when lots of people come into like a jug and then they pour it over their face. Did that not happen at your boarding school? It's called like Gukang or something. Whose face do they pour it on? The lady or all of the participants in the act? The lady, yeah. But in one, but the thing is...

It's a bit premeditated though, isn't it? If there's a jug and then there's four in the end. If the ejaculations have already happened participants in the act? The lady, yeah. But the thing is... It's a bit premeditated, though, isn't it? If there's a jug and then there's four at the end. If the ejaculations have already happened, then in the moment of shame, someone says, I know, let's pour this vase over the lady's head. I just find that really weird. And also there was some examples, apparently, of men ejaculating numerous times into a jug

and then freezing it. Because obviously, you know, you can't store up a lot in one session. So over the course of a couple of weeks. Would that not affect the texture of the sperm? Like often when you refreeze molten ice cream and it comes out weird. It is baffling.

But the point is, this is something that's been around since time immemorial, or at least since 1785. Really? What, the pearl necklace, et cetera? Yeah, the Marquis de Sade writes about it in his book, The 120 Days of Sodom.

I show them my prick then what do you suppose I do? I squirt the fuck in their face That's my passion my child I have no other and you're about to behold it So I suppose that is part of it isn't it? It's the evidence

like you were saying it's the proof Doesn't seem to leave that much room for interpretation No it doesn't It's very direct What I find interesting is the fact that the shot is called the money shot because so the money shot.

So the money shot was terminology that existed from old Hollywood. And it existed simply because that was the shot of the film that cost the most money. So, you know, that was the car crash or the cowboy flying through the air. Okay, it wasn't that old Hollywood of making silent films with... Massive gunshot drowned Charlie Chaplin. No. Good bit of Keaton style clowning um no it wasn't it was the shot that cost the most money that's where it came from and then when they started making porn they borrowed the terminology because apparently actors got paid more to ejaculate on screen so the hence money shot but everyone knows I mean even people that have no interest in

pornography know that women earn more in porn, in straight porn, than men do. So, I still don't understand why that would be the money shot. Maybe the implication is that's what people watch for, in the same way that when you watch, I don't know, Prometheus, you're watching for the space zombie being set fire to and the big explosions. I wasn't. I was watching in the hope that there was a plot

and a decent script. I was wrong. I dreamed of a shining yellow book that was touched by Midas himself. It answered all my questions, even the ones about Humpty Dumpty, bingo wings and bunny boilers, whether the queen swallowed the smiths

and the book was called Answer Me This. Well, you are warmly invited to this question about weddings from Claire from Bristol. Thanks. That's not a very polite way to reply to an invitation, Helen. Well, you've invited me at such late notice, I can't help but think that I'm not even on the B list of guests, I'm on the C list.

You're right, you saw right through me. I've only been invited to the evening bit of this question. She says, my friend is getting married in August and I am one of five bridesmaids. Well, as I've said to bridesmaids that have written into this podcast before, sorry and good luck. And you don't have to talk to her after the wedding.

Just write this one off. I thought that bridesmaids were just meant to look after the bride and keep her sane. Too late for that. You're meant to do things like helping her go to the toilet because her dress is too cumbersome.

Frankly, that is a very common bridesmaid chore. I mean, who wants to have the worry that they can't urinate on their own on days that are meant to be very romantic and seemly? However, someone once told me that traditionally bridesmaids were meant to step in and marry the groom if the bride changed her mind. Bullshit.

So, Helen, answer me me this what is the point of bridesmaids and slaves is what i've been told true will one of us have to marry the groom should my friend change her mind the only source that i have found of this being the case is a quote from black adder too also legally it would be difficult because you two would have to be licensed to marry at least 21 days before the ceremony. And I think if he'd already got a license or bands posted with this other woman, the actual bride... You have to ruin all these wedding questions with your chat of licenses, Helen.

Therefore, I don't think it was custom. I have read some interesting things, though, that apparently bridesmaids became fairly normal in ancient times in many different cultures. But in Rome, it was particularly curious because you had to have 10 witnesses at the wedding who were identically dressed to the bride and the groom because evil spirits attended weddings and they would try and confer trouble and strife upon the couple and therefore to trick the evil spirits you had to have these people

identically dressed as you which I think is one of the reasons for veils as well so that the spirits couldn't tell which one was the bride another reason for bridesmaids uh was that uh they would help the brides travel to her husband's village and uh they would guard her from the threat to the road because traveling used to be very dangerous it could be attacked by bandits or kidnapped by rival men uh so they were like a security detail have you ever been a bridesmaid no would you like to no because i hate organizing stuff and i don't want to hate any of my friends but i definitely would afterwards so you're actually saying now for the record any of your friends getting married you don't want to be invited to be the bridesmaid i can't imagine

i'll be top tier for any of them how many friendships get ended that way i mean i'm sure a lot yeah do you think people just never speak again after the wedding yep commonly that's a shame isn't it well here's another question of marriage from Chris from Manchester, who says, My best friend, who is 25, is with a girl who is 32. This girl is a really unpleasant person. Very pushy, very rude, etc, etc. It's not just me that hates this girl. It's everybody that she knows, even her family. Wow.

Oh, that's really sad. Anyway, says Chris, she's pushing him to get married and propose, etc. I think this would be a really bad idea, and I may be asked to be best man at a wedding I don't approve of, so answer me this. Yes, it is very presumptuous, actually. You can't assume you're going to be asked to be best man.

Answer me this, Ollie. Am I allowed to tell him I think he would be making a mistake? No. If so, how? We've covered this before. Don't do it. Don't tell your colleagues their hygiene is bad. Don't tell your wife she's fat.

Don't tell your friends their choice of spouse is wrong tell your wife she's fat Don't tell your friends Their choice of spouse is wrong It's only going to get back at you When your friend breaks up with somebody Don't go Oh I was so glad Because they were awful And really no good for you

And then they get back together A few weeks later It's just not worth it It's like we haven't been here For the last five years Helen Has the world not learned They're not listening Ollie It's not worth it is it

It's not worth it Your friend loves this woman For better or worse Probably worse And the best you can do Is be supportive in that he doesn't have to marry her even if she's pushing him to propose he's still got free will of a sort and he's an adult you can't force him to make the decisions that you think are right for him he is he is sentient he is legally in control of his affairs you have to let him make his own mistakes and even if they did get engaged the pressures of organizing a wedding is enough to split a lot of people up so fingers crossed if your friend hasn't noticed

that she's rude maybe she's not rude to him yeah and and although you might say well in the future maybe she will be rude to him in their relationship you don't know that it might be that she's only secure when she's with him and she's got all kinds of problems you don't even know about and frankly it's about their relationship not her relationship with everyone else. It's really hard to know what people's relationships are like behind closed doors. Exactly. Chris continues, What would I do if I were asked to be best man?

Surely me being best man would essentially be me saying I agreed with his horrible decision. Again, no, it's saying that I am the best friend of this man. And they want him to be happy. And I'm accepting this honorific position despite my misgivings. You're saying yes to the friend. Yes, exactly. You're not saying yes to that yes i approve of everything you do the problem is if you're the one to tell somebody that they shouldn't love the person that they love it's you who's going to get shat on it's not they're not going to think well maybe i'm going off her if anything uh it's quite nice if the marriage fails that you were

there throughout the process you were there right you were there on the special day you may you know you can be there and be supportive when the divorce is coming through as well it's quite nice if the marriage fails that you were there throughout the process. You were there, right? You were there on the special day. You know, you can be there and be supportive when the divorce is coming through as well. It's lovely to see a sad story from beginning to end, isn't it? Exactly, yeah. You get all three acts. If you've been affected by any of the issues in today's programme, you can call 0208 123 58007. Or you can nut up or shut up. Are you a man or a minx?

Here's a question from Eleanor in Norwich, who says, Helen, answer me this. Why can't people give pole dancing a chance and not instantly assume that anyone who does it is a slut? Well, I think a lot of people do use it now as exercise because those classes seem to be quite popular among certain gyms and not in a very slutty way because they involve tracksuits, which is not very slutty clothing. But the fact is it did originate in sexually stimulating clubs and that is why it's still associated with sex.

Yeah, and to be honest, that's part of the frisson why people get into it, isn't it? Even if they're not interested in getting any kind of sexual arousal or causing any, it has a sexy allure to it more than gymnastics for that reason. It is quite sexy and apparently very, very effective in building muscle because it looks really, really hard. Well, yes, she continues, having been part of the UEA's

pole dancing club for two years I didn't realise that the University of East Anglia was big into pole dancing. I thought creative writing was its main thrust. No. Angie Motion's a great pole dancer. She's been on the committee and I've competed in an inter-university competition. I love the idea of a pole dancing committee, by the way.

I bet you bloody do. This week, the committee will vote as to whether this stick can be counted a pole. Does Morris dancing count as pole dancing if you've got the slappy sticks? All those in favour say aye. She says I still get dirty looks when I say that I pole dance. But hey, times are hard at the moment and it's good to get something vocational out of your degree. That's right, yeah.

It's not about taking my clothes off to satisfy men. It is about grace and strength and is a lot harder than it looks Okay, well it looks hard So it must be really, really hard Yeah, I think you're wrong on that I think everyone thinks it's hard, Eleanor Yeah, apart from the people that just sort of Like Kate Moss in that White Stripes video

Where she's just rubbing her back against the pole And half-arsedly twisting around it But she's not actually doing those things Where she hangs upside down and climbs up it As if she has no sense of gravity Yeah, but I think it's like with a rubbish circus performer of any kind isn't it when you see a bad one you realize how difficult it is to do it well eleanor has a supplementary question how can i change people's attitude towards pole dancing by doing it wearing a full set of tweed garments

they're not sexy i mean even if it gets taken seriously as a sport like beach volleyball is well semi-seriously yeah but no well exactly exactly if there's any kind of arousing element to it then it's never going to be taken entirely seriously and if you want to get into it for your own fitness what's the problem i mean you know that when you get involved it's not like it's a surprise that there that it may be considered in this light because as helen pointed out that's how it originated yeah if you're not doing it in a sparkly thong but you're doing it in sports clothes that automatically makes it seem more athletic and if you're not kind of sexually rubbing your tits on the pole yeah but doing feats of muscular control and agility then that's that's less sexy just i'm sure as time goes

on and pole dancing arrives in every primary school in the country it will be considered a wholesome activity yeah um it used to be a feature of country fairs in things like Thomas Hardy novels, where people would climb to the top of a greased pole to retrieve the prize of a ham. But maybe if you put a ham on the top of the pole, people will realise that it's a competitive sport and not a sexy sport.

I'm not sure. I think that would make it substantially more arousing for me. But I think you just have to accept that at a certain level, if you're doing this sport that originates from erotic dancing, it would be like if I said, Helen, I found this great way to keep fit it's called butt plugging what i do i repeatedly put this butt plug in and out my ass and it's it's really good for me

actually because it's stretching my legs it's working on my technique and versatility you squat down over at the end of the day if it started as a sex device or it started as an erotic display that is how it will be seen I'm afraid I don't have as much sympathy for you Eleanor in Norwich as I do for the nurses that we were talking about a few episodes ago

as porn fantasies or firemen everyone's latching over firemen but the job they do is extremely hazardous physically presumably mentally as well but listeners

if you want to solve Eleanor's problem that to us doesn't need to be solved then by all means get in touch or just send us a question of your own

all of our contact details are listed on our website. AnswerMeThisPodcast.com Where this week you can also see a video that Eleanor has sent us of her and her UEA cohorts doing pole dancing in a not at all, not even faintly, not even remotely erotic way. Totally safe for

work though. Yeah, it is actually. Although, yeah, some of them look very nice. I'm sorry, is that wrong to point that out? Well, they're in good shape because pole dancing is such excellent exercise. It keeps them very live and shapely.

Judge for yourself on our website. We'll be getting some more Google hits because we'll be using the word pole dancing on our website. Fingers crossed.

Hey, there aren't any men in her pole dancing video. True. Maybe if it really wasn't a sexy sport for the titillation of men, there should be men doing it. Do that, Eleanor.

That's true. Nice. Bye!