Answer Me This! - AMT233: Divas, the Industrial Revolution, and Sporks

Episode Date: October 18, 2012

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Would Pussy Riot get all this press if their name was Dahl? Answer me this, answer me this Would Philip Larkin have cheered up if he'd got out of Hull? Answer me this, answer me this Helen and Ollie, answer me this We start the episode with happy news, listeners! Oh, that's good, isn't it? In this very, very difficult world where there's a lot of troublesome news.

Yes, but not today, not at Answer Me This, because our Skype line's working again! Hooray! So we're very pleased to say that if you want to get in touch with us and you don't want to use the phone, then you can to Skype Answer Me This. Hooray! Yeah, don't put hooray at the end.

That's probably someone else's account. An Answer Me This hooray would be someone from Made in Chelsea pretending to be us. Yes, exactly, yes. What happiness is being bestowed on us via voicemail? Why, the following call. Emily from Exeter. Hi, Helen, you might remember that last week on your podcast,

I was moaning about the soy milk in the fridge at work going missing. Well, I went into work this morning, i.e. one day after your podcast was released, and terrifyingly, there was a carton of soy milk in the work fridge with 4 Emily written on it. What incredible power we have, Helen. Yeah. This might get to the stage where people are asking our advice

only as a covert way of getting on air so that the problem resolves itself. This will be me in two weeks. I opened up my post this morning and there was a million pounds in there. Yeah, I didn't think you could actually and there was a million pounds in there. Yeah, I didn't think you could actually make dreams come true like this, Helen. It could be that people are asking us questions just so that they don't have to face up to the reality of asking the people that

trouble them in their own lives face to face. Well, if that's the case, then maybe our next questionnaire will come into work one morning and be entertained by a flash mob all day. It's Max in London who says, I've recently started work as a lifeguard. Oh, good job.

Well, is it? I've quickly discovered how boring it is. No, it's a good job. I can't have any phones, iPods or books on poolside. I should hope not.

And have very little to do all day. Ollie asked me this. Can you suggest something I can do to make my job more interesting? Apart from looking at the fitties in the swimsuits yeah uh put acid in the swimming pool oh no make it more interesting

that is a sacking offense or put a bubble bath in the swimming pool yeah i mean well as you suggest helen it's there are perks that come with not looking at an ipod sometimes which is that you can look at people in their swimsuits that's surely the reason people go into lifeguarding isn't it yeah but then you don't want to look at like the ger swimsuits. That's surely the reason people go into lifeguarding, isn't it? Yeah, but then you don't want to look at the geriatric aqua aerobics. No, this is the thing, and it's true that when you think about lifeguarding as a sort of cool pursuit, really what I'm thinking of is Baywatch. Beach, yeah.

I'm not thinking about slightly scabby council swimming pool with plasters floating in it. I suppose if I was a lifeguard, what I'd be doing as well, if the people that I was looking at weren't as aesthetically pleasing. And also if that just got old quickly, which it might. Yeah, I think what I'd be doing

is doing the sort of yearbook epitaph thing. I'd be looking at each person and thinking, okay, what are you going to turn into? What's your psychological problem? Yeah, invent stories. Become a writer, Max. Invent all kinds of things in your head and then when you get home,

you've probably forgotten them all. That's problem though isn't it can you carry a little notebook or something and jot down ideas yeah i reckon a notebook probably is permitted because swimmers would assume that that was some sort of lifeguards lifeguard notebook wouldn't they and i have relevant experience i worked on a fruit farm as a fruit picker supervisor for a for a couple of summers and one day the apples were drowning oh it's very boring for apples you can't you can't do very much and in those days I didn't have an iPod because iPods didn't exist. So I made it poems. And poems have, by their nature, rhythm and rhyme.

So they're easy to remember. So at the end of the day, I could go home and write them down. Yeah. And you could eat fruit. Max can't drink of the pool water. Yeah, but the fruit eating, the novelty of that wears off very, very quickly. The difference between lifeguarding and fruit picking, though, Martin, and there are many, is that I can't imagine a Baywatch-style soap opera called Fruit Pickers.

Are you sure Pamela Anderson covered in the juices of rotten strawberries? But if you're working at a pool with a wave machine, the way to make yourself amused and popular is just to switch it on every 20 minutes. The kids will go, Ape, they will love you and it. The way to make yourself amused and popular is just to switch it on every 20 minutes. The kids will go, ape! They will love you and it. Well, here's a question from Nick from Michigan who says,

Helen, answer me this. Whatever happened to the spork during the American 90s? Fast food restaurants gave them out like they were herpes. But I can't find one now to save my life. Why would you need a spork to save your life? Quick, the surgeon says he'll only use one implement to do the whole operation. So where did all the sporks go?

Can they find their way home? I didn't realise there was a sporkage, or spork shortage. I've contracted it. I see what you've done, yeah. I didn't realise there was a spork spurt, either, or spurt-kurt. Because in this country it never really happened, did it? It always seemed a great novelty when you bought coleslaw at KFC

and it came with a spork with the colonel's head on the end. Maybe in Michigan, they favour separate implements rather than the combined implement. I don't know why that would be in Michigan. But here, you can buy sporks readily, and they have a serrated edge on the side, which I think makes them a splayed or something. Isn't that a kniffy spork?

Well, there are various terms that haven't taken off, including knork, which is a knife and fork. And also some people are rejecting the word spork, which is easy to see, so that's a lovely word. And they're going for foon. That's rubbish. I don't even understand how that works. It's the leftovers of spork because it's less good.

But you've just taken the only fun thing about sporks and made it not fun by calling it foon. Yeah. I mean, using it isn't fun. The only fun thing is the name sounds a bit like pork. Exactly. You've ruined it. Well, it sounds just like pork if you put an S on the front.

That's right, yeah. The thing is, if you're deciding to have a picnic or a situation where a spork might be useful, generally, in my experience, if you're taking cutlery, if you're deciding to take cutlery rather than just use your hands, you're prepared, if you're taking cutlery, if you're deciding to take cutlery rather than just use your hands, you're prepared to take the extra load, you're prepared to take double the load of cutlery that you would otherwise. Yeah, and also when you're spooning something into your mouth, you don't want prongs. Right. You can cause an injury. If you've got a little plastic bag with your forks in it,

have another one with your spoons in it. I think maybe the spork is a popular implement for parents to carry around in child emergencies. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's just useful to have it in your bag at all times because you don't know whether the child

will want to spear something or scoop something but they're probably going to kick off anyway if you cannot provide. Yes. I wonder whether the spork peaked in the Victorian era

before the word was even recorded. Tell me more, Helen. Apparently the Victorians were all about making blended versions of cutleries. So spoons with prongs, serrated spoons, you know, things that did two things,

but they were made out of silver. So really you had the money to buy two things rather than one. I mean, the Victorians were very into progress, weren't they? Oh, loved it. Innovation at every turn. So I wonder if it would actually be incredibly disappointing to a Victorian if they were to be reincarnated now, to realise that, you know, here we are, 150 years later,

we still haven't really evolved the knife and the fork. Everything else, you know, we've got smartphones, we've got super fast trains. But our cutlery drawers still have three separate sections. Yeah. What is with that? It does feel like, actually, they should have sorted that out. Do you think they would have invented some sort of food from there?

Well, this is what I was thinking. Why not have a straw that goes straight into your throat so that you can carry on sporking food in at the same time as drinking? It's a bit medical. Or why don't you have a spork with a hollow handle so you can use that as a straw? That's good. What would you call that?

The spraw. Spraw, that's awful. You want to keep the pork element because that's the funny bit. The spork. The spork. Nice. You've got a question. Email your question

to answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car.

On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. A question from a man who says please give me a fake name in case my ex listens. I like Gregory,

but you can choose. I like Gregory, that's fine. He says, I am recently single and also unrelatedly recently homeless. So I've moved in temporarily with some friends and we're all looking for a new place together. However, until we find a new place, I'll be living in the living room,

surrounded by boxes, no bedroom furniture, and on a single bed. Nice. The area we live in is also less than salubrious. You sound like quite a catch. Are you sure there's actually a house around and he's not just living in a pile of boxes under a bridge? As a single man, if I play my cards right,

I hope that I'll get the opportunity to take some girls back to my new abode. Girls, plural, eh? Maybe take them back for some stripped billiards. There are enough boxes for everyone. As my living conditions are not befitting a man of my status, I feel like I need to give a disclaimer to any of the lucky female visitors before they arrive so they don't think I'm too down at hill but ollie answer me this how should i phrase this there is no way of phrasing i'm living in some boxes in someone's sitting room

in a way that sounds exotic or erotic i mean if you're if you're if you're trying to say it in a way that actually makes you appealing to these girls that you're trying to bring back there is they're not going to think oh you're you know you're deron brown surrounded by all these exciting objedar they're going to think okay you've been chucked out by your girlfriend you're living in some boxes no you just say my friends and i are looking for a place at the moment we haven't found one yet so this is a bit temporary however a lot of people's fantasy not a sexual fantasy a different kind of fantasy is to build a fort out of boxes that's what i was going to say come back to my place we to build a fort out of boxes. That's what I was going to say. Come back to

my place, we'll build a fort. The chicks dig it. What about introducing it quite early in the evening, saying if you play your cards right, you can come back and see my boxes, and if I play my cards right, I can see your box. Hey, nice. Or you could just go back to her place. That would sidestep the whole issue. It does seem like the best suggestion, really. Unless she has

a fetish for boxes. It's possible. i confess that once years ago before my relationship with martin i must emphasize i would not let a suitor into my room because it was far too messy what what excuse did you use i said my room is too messy okay right so you just came out with it yeah there's something quite thrilling about a lady who's prepared to admit that her room is messy whereas a man saying the same a man saying my room's messy so just assume he is a tramp because his room's gonna be messy anyway yeah or he can't live without his mum tidying his room well there was a man who's overly tidy i find that you wouldn't do

him would you martin no i would not hello helen and arlie this is andy from tunbridge wells home of the ridiculous millennium clock lately on my way to work i've seen children roller skating a hobby a pastime that i had in the 80s and early 90s. So answer me this, what from your past would you like to see become popular in society again? I'm just going to answer for Olly Mann here. Macaulay Culkin. Yeah, I guess I would quite like him to have a career revival of sorts. Yeah, he needs to get off the substances first, doesn't he?

Well, what I'd like to see is him come back in an indie film that's good because it seems like all the ones he's tried, unfortunately, he's just not picked scripts very well. And Rick Moranis plays his wacky dad. That would be cool. The truth is, the things that I think back on from my childhood that I liked, I'm not that bothered about now because I was a child when I liked them. Yeah.

It's more the case of things in the last few years that have disappeared that I'm upset about. The Word magazine has closed Time Out as well Have you seen Time Out recently? I've heard it's gone thin but I haven't seen it Oh my god it's shit It's so sad

I wanted my premium listings information Helen I wanted to be one of the cool kids I didn't want every fucker on the tube To know about all the same gigs that I do And for there to be less of them to choose from They've just messed it up I would like to see proper rom-coms With proper scripts

rather than just the director going, well, we've got Witherspoon, so let's not bother writing anything. Yeah, but Nora Ephron's dead now. It's going to be hard, isn't it? It wasn't just Ephron. Richard Curtis has passed his prime. I mean, they had My Cousin Vinny.

That era, the glory days. Yes, yeah, yeah. When Harry met Sally. I agree. Now it's just like dribbly shit. Well, I went to see The Perks of Being a Wallflower this week. So did I. Oh, did you?

Yes, I did. What did you think? I thought three stars. Yes, I think some bits were very good, but it was only good really when the characters' lives were going to hell and when he was having a good time, you think this is just like a wish fulfilment scenario.

I also thought her accent shaky. I thought her accent was better than her range of facial expressions. But I think when you know as a Brit that a British actress isn't doing a good American accent rather than an American actress isn't doing a good american accent rather than an american actress isn't doing a good british accent then you know it can't be a very good accent because i'm not american but i could hear it wasn't quite right yeah um but um i thought it was okay but but at

least i thought that had characters and drama in it that wasn't just reliant on special effects and cliches it was appealing or it had some cliches in it didn't it but yeah but i also thought i would have loved that film when i was 16 yeah but now looking at it i'm like well i've seen lots of coming-of-age films it's a bit like that oh if i ever get tired of coming-of-age films though i'm dead inside well yes but you see this is the issue with andy's question in a way what you liked when you were a child you wouldn't necessarily be interested in now but it's not true because i just re-watched all of my so-called life and i still liked it in fact i liked it even more because i appreciated more how good it is why do you like this taking the question in the spirit it was intended though

which wasn't as a prompt for us to talk about media that was it do you remember spongles no i don't wasn't allowed so shut up i would say orbit chewing gum when it was a stick oh is it they've now made the brand all about extra and the pellets That's what you'd bring back, fucking hell But because the pellets make me sneeze Are they too strong and too small? They're too strong and I spray out minty shards everywhere The minute I put them in my mouth The sticks were great

I would like to bring back the brain I had when I was ten Because that was much better than the one I have now It's full of knowledge Because speak French and Latin then Got neither of them now I'm not sure I'd really want to do a podcast with you if you had the brain that you had when you were 10, though. It's the fact that it's been jaded by 20 years of failure since.

That makes you the unique concoction that you are. Helen, how many minutes should I bake a cake for before it gets all burned and dry? Ollie, how many onions can I slice before my eyes start to cry and Martin how many sausages would you like for your evening meal if you answer me these

I'll be very pleased that describes how I feel right time for a question from Jack from York, formerly of Broseley, near Ironbridge. Oh, Broseley, yeah. He says, as a loyal Solopian...

That's someone from Shropshire. That's the Shropshire person. Like Martin here. Not one of the tubes in the womb. I was told that Ironbridge is the home of the Industrial Revolution. Birthplace. Oh, God. I can tell this question's got Martin too excited already.

We should have done it while he was out the room or when his jaws were stuck together with toffee. Can't you go and have a shit like last week, Martin? Pig iron, says Jack, was first cast into real iron, leading to an easy, cheap way of making strong iron. Cross-reference, the first iron bridge in, well, Ironbridge. The clue is in the name. There is the first single-span cast iron bridge there.

Right. Hence the name, Ironbridge. I can't imagine I'll ever want to go. Spanning the River Severn since 1781. Recently, says Jack, well, six years ago, I moved to York and have been told time and time again that Yorkshire was the home of the revolution. Oh, fancy that.

Specifically Sheffield. So Helen, answer me this. Where officially did the Industrial Revolution start? This is the kind of thing they have an official answer for, isn't it? And I'll move there. Did it start in a specific place or in many places simultaneously? The latter thing, really. Because that's how history works, isn't it? It's a general movement. Pacific place or in many places simultaneously. The latter thing, really.

Because that's how history works, isn't it? It's general movement. So where did the First World War officially start? What was the thing that caused everything? So although there were significant milestones in the Industrial Revolution, like the first iron bridge spanning the Severn since 1781. The Convention of Coke. And Sheffield was significant.

But Sheffield had been making cutlery for centuries before then already, so I don't think it's really the birthplace. They just started making more cutlery. Yorkshire did have a pretty good claim to being the hub of the Industrial Revolution because it had a lot of fast-flowing rivers that supplied power. And also it's fairly near coal, as was Ironbridge. But I googled it. And on the first page of Google results, Ironbridge comes up several times. Sheffield comes up no times and manchester comes up once and i think manchester has quite a good claim

to be the birthplace of the industrial revolution go on well because uh they built the uh duke of bridgewater canal and that brought cheap coal into the city uh which fueled new textile machinery and led to the development of the lancashire cotton textile industry oh god what sentences like that just remind me of GCSE history. Textile industry. The cotton textile. It's just, I glaze over with it. Coal.

And the thing is, it is interesting, and I'm very grateful because it created the middle class, the Industrial Revolution. And iPads. Yeah. I mean... Steam-powered iPads. Exactly. I would be a shit coal miner,

so I'm very glad that it happened. No PEZ dispensers without the Industrial Revolution. But despite that, when I'm hearing about it, it happened. No Pez dispensers without the Industrial Revolution. But despite that, when I'm hearing about it, I just cannot get interested. It wasn't my favourite period of history. What is wrong with me? Nothing's wrong with you, Ollie. It's just a bit dry. I think it's interesting. Well, you

like coal and you grew up in Shropshire where they need this kind of thing. So I reckon this is Ironbridge going, guys, we're over here. Yorkshire's already got a lot of tourism. Come here. I think that's exactly what it is. I think it's part of their tourist push. And they've got that tagline, the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution. Well, self-tagging. Yeah, well, it's self-tagging, but they kind of got there first, I think.

It is a UNESCO heritage site, but on English Heritage, which administers the Iron Bridge, they say it's the cradle of the Industrial Revolution. So they're not wading into this. I hadn't thought about the tourist element the self-defined tourist attractive element but i think you're right there because i i went to the site of the world's first roundabout in letchworth the other week and you're saying this is boring i'm amazed you managed to get in because they're probably queues and that the plaque that's there

is clearly a case of letchworth defining itself and having a purpose isn't it yeah they've even got a pun on the sign because it says world's first roundabout built circa 1909 that's quite funny

I was impressed with that yeah and you gyrated with joy I think what we've done is give people some wonderful ideas for half term trips yeah

go to the roundabout and then cross the country and go to the Iron Bridge do you think we'll get sponsored from Telford and Wiccan Tourism? I doubt they've got much of a budget, Martin. I know a guy there. I reckon I can wangle it. If you've been affected by any of the issues in today's programme,

you can call 0208 123 5877. Or you can nut up or shut up. Are you a man or a minx? Now, only a few weeks has passed since we learned about grey water on cruise ships. Yay! And now we've got another question about water on ships. Which is weird, because really, when you're on a ship,

the last thing you want is water on it. Well, if that were the case Why would they have so many swimming pools on cruise ships Well they're asking for trouble This question is from Jessica from Charlotte in North Carolina I like it when a place is named after a lady All of those places, Charlotte and Carolina Yes good point

Not North Anyway she says During the age of maritime exploration The industrial revolution and maritime exploration on one show. This is the most educational episode we've done in years. I can't believe no one's mentioned Brunel yet. During the age of maritime exploration, I'm assuming ships did not carry fresh water for drinking and cooking to save space.

You assume wrong. Oh, well, that's the answer then. Next. So Helen answered me this. How did they desalinate ocean water? Yeah, because that's the point. If they had fresh water, presumably they they desalinate ocean water? Yeah, because that's the point If they had fresh water Presumably they did desalinate ocean water

As well as just carry it all from the port No, well the problem was They had water in barrels Which were called scuttlebutts Nice I mean it didn't stay great water for very long Obviously because they were on these voyages for ages Not much about these voyages does seem nice

No Literally not much Pretty good chance of death So if you didn't die from disease or dehydration or being killed by someone else, then you probably would have added rum to the water as a kind of drinkable disinfectant. And therefore you may have fallen off the ship drunk or got into a fight with someone and died that way. And the only pleasure you'd have through all of that is a hand job from a guy with a hook hand. Yes.

This is not fun. That's got to be worth it then. Just to save, doesn't it? But anyway, that's why the stereotype of Grog on pirate ships happens, because Grog is the rum in the water, so it was just so that it got rid of the worst of the weevils. But they did have desalination plants in the time of Julius Caesar. The Romans did everything, didn't they? Yeah.

I reckon, seriously, the Romans had Facebook, we just don't know about it yet. They had a giant robot, that's how they? Yeah. I reckon, seriously, the Romans had Facebook. We just don't know about it yet. They had a giant robot. That's how they conquered Europe. This is Terry in Brisbane. I have seen on one of our pseudo-current affairs shows a segment on hypnolipo, that is, hypnotic liposuction. Ollie, you said that your mum's a hypnotherapist. I'm wondering, can hypnolipo really work?

And if it can, how? As far as I can tell, the phrase is actually entirely interchangeable with essentially losing weight through hypnotherapy, which is what hypnotherapists have been doing since the invention of hypnotherapy. So yes, it can work. And the way it works basically is by convincing you that you don't want to eat as much as you did before and therefore you

lose weight oh fancy so simple as that is that the same as the hypnogastric band yeah well no hypnogastric band is quite specific because with hypnogastric band what they do which is really really interesting actually is the hypnotherapist essentially talks you through in the same way that they might get you to revisit a trauma from your life that you've actually experienced earlier they instead talk you through a hypothetical situation whilst you're under hypnosis where you imagine having the gastric band procedure wow so they talk you through what it feels like to have the anesthesia and then for the surgeon to be operating and then to you to be waking up and you're feeling woozy

and then you know that you've got this thing in your stomach and it's going to prevent you from eating so much and so essentially it's just playing a trick on you that you think whenever you put food in your mouth that you you physically cannot eat it as well as you don't want to so it's not possible then that the hypnolipo does similar but it's saying you've had the anesthesia then they take the hoover to your thighs and suck your fat out yeah i think no i think that's probably exactly what it is but really all of these things are just new sexy names for weight loss hypnotherapy your appetite is less put less food in your mouth which is the thing i mean i'm sure you've read them too every january paul mckenna that you get a free book with a

guardian or whatever it's always the same or it basically says you're too fat eat less that's kind of it uh but just every time you put food you know i want you to really enjoy every mouthful wait to really savor every i'm not going to be savoring every mouthful if i'm thinking of your creepy face paul mckenna i listened to one of those paul mckenna things once and the main technique seemed to be think of a food you really like yeah imagine eating that food now imagine eating a mouthful of hair with it but you don't want that food now, do you, Patso? Oh, that's horrible. Here's a question from Charlotte, who says,

Helen, answer me this. Is it true that radio players use scripts printed on non-rustling paper? What is non-rustling paper? I've never met any. Wood, basically, wood bar. An iPad, I guess. And actually, as far as it goes, probably there are radio dramas that do use tablet computers, aren't there? Or just computer screens

I'm not sure that most manufacturers of radio drama have the budget for iPads We were looking through the questions in our inbox earlier And my instinctive reaction to this was, maybe we should work on this Helen was like, of course they don't Absolutely bullshit! She's never been so disgusted in her life So explain why you had that knee-jerk reaction, Helen To what is, I would say, a fairly inoffensive question.

Well, because there's no such thing as non-rustling paper. Paper bites nature rustles. And I've been... But is it not possible? It's not possible. It'd have to be perfectly smooth at almost the molecular level, wouldn't it, not to rustle? That's because you've never done a day's washing up in your life.

Thanks to the Industrial Revolution. So the thing I've noticed, though, from attending live radio recordings that have scripts the paper is just bog standard but it has an unusual staple that allows you to turn the pages in quite a noiseless way if you're careful it's like a little round thing at the top with some spikes going through it also they do often have little breaks so that people can turn the page so it doesn't pick up on mic... Oh, really? Yes. Wow, that's cool. I mean, it's not cool at all. You know what would be cool?

Just have a drama that is one page long because really those things are not enjoyable to listen to. Do you not like any radio drama? I tend not to like the style of acting. It sounds very radio dramery. Yes. Hello, John. Oh, that's a nice big barrel of milk you've got.

Who's that? I don't know what you mean. But I don't want Who's that? I don't know what you mean. But I don't want to discount all radio drama because I sort of don't give it a go. I instinctively feel like it's not for me

but maybe it is. I'm going to write one and then see if I like it. Yeah. But I'll make sure that it's set on horseback so it can be a lot of coconut work.

Here's another one in our long-running thread that I call Questions from the 90s. It's from James and he says, Ollie, answer me this. Biggie or Tupac?

I'm glad you asked me. Which one would you resuscitate? My instinct is to lean towards the fat guy. Just empathetically, I'd say Biggie. Is that a whole bunch of sojourners? They're both rappers. It's in the same way that if you were to ask me when I was a child, who would I rather spend time

with, French or Saunders Even though in reality I think now I realise now as an adult, actually possibly Jennifer Saunders Is even more fun than Dawn French Probably would have chosen Dawn French because she looked more jolly I think in that way, I'd lean towards Biggie You're saying Biggie Smalls is more jolly Than Tupac Shakur

Let's do a more Us type spin on this Elliot Smith or Jeff Buckley For me Elliot Smith or Jeff Buckley? For me, Elliot Smith. But that is about the music, not about the man. I don't really know anything about that. I'd have to say Jeff Buckley, because Elliot Smith produced a load of really good albums.

Jeff Buckley only really did one, and he didn't really get to see what his real strengths were. But then you sound more like Jeff Buckley when you sing, so you're diminishing your own market by bringing back the real thing, aren't you? Because if Martin double-tracks, then he can sound like Elliot Smith. My head is full of questions which unbidden seem to follow me around And if not given to such happy disposition, this would get me down

The answer me, this toilet book has all the answers that i couldn't find it's available from all good bookshops so i ordered mine by going on amazon helen i'm very offended because you did not paint the walls my favorite color and you did not provide me with the petals that i insist upon on my computer and you did not spray the room with my favourite fragrance this afternoon. Okay, well firstly, I'm not allowed to paint because this is a rental property. Secondly, I haven't been out all day so I couldn't get you fresh petals and I thought

you wouldn't like dried. Thirdly, your favourite fragrance is anathema to me. Those are the sorts of demands, Helen, that I would make if I were a diva. You would anyway because you're an only child. Yeah, that's true. We've had a question about divas. It's from Chris who says, Helen,en answer me this what is the etymology of the word diva as used to describe a needy opera or female singer it is an italian term well it used to mean goddess the roman goddesses yeah the roman goddesses were notoriously you know quite quite

hard to please a bit feisty a bit arbitrary as were italian opera singers so that's why they took the term to mean them because you know they were dramatic they were very important yeah probably quite hard to handle and now it means people like mariah carey and jennifer lopez i wonder whether this term is a bit of a denigration of women because they did used to say diva about male opera singers as well but you never hear that in the modern day and i wonder whether it's because if a man's a pain in the arse they're like yeah it's because he's powerful whereas the woman they're like because she's a pain in the arse they're like yeah it's because he's powerful whereas the woman they're like because she's a pain in the arse woman

yeah the man they'd use the word arrogant and underneath it would suggest that actually he was arrogant with purpose unless unless he was gay and then I reckon

they might use the word diva if someone was being camp and having a strop then they'd say he was a diva a drama queen yeah yeah yeah but they wouldn't say drama king about someone like Mick Jagger

would they no exactly he's exercising the rights he has as a rock star. Drama king. I like that. I don't know, I disagree. I think Diva is slightly dismissive. It goes along the lines of, oh, she's probably just on her period. But on the other hand, if a man

behaved like that, you'd just say, oh, he's a cock, wouldn't you? It's more nuanced than that, though, isn't it? Because if you met Diana Ross, or if you're actually in a room with Diana Ross and she wasn't behaving in that Diva-like way, you'd sort of feel cheated. Yeah, you'd send her back and get a refund. So people do admire it as well.

It gets to the stage where you're known for being such a ridiculous cock that it's kind of fun that you're like that. In my experience it's usually the people that surround the diva

that ask for the demands and the diva themselves actually couldn't give a shit. Depends how insecure those people are. Or how long they've been famous for. Because after 10

years you might just think that there is a basket of puppies everywhere you go yes yeah this i found very interesting because i worked at this morning at itv and during that time there were some big proper sort of contemporary stars if you like who came on the biggest diva by far that we had come in was priscilla presley oh and and exactly you just think well what's she actually done naked gun since naked gun she's been in the business so long but what does she i mean what does she do she goes around the world talking about elvis presley's legacy basically but i don't think she is a commanding enough personality to allow for being a bitch i don't know if she was a bitch i just know that around her that's what i mean there was this coterie of people

asking for things and the whole time i was there the only person they repainted the walls of the dressing room for were priscilla presley there were some celebrities where you think we need them more than they need us priscilla presley i don't think she's one of those for this i mean the show can still go on and they could just put an extra cooking segment or something think you have male devos maybe kanye west yes he'd probably be happy with that, wouldn't he? He likes to be a troublemaker because the trouble makes him feel important. Yeah, well, that's... Again, it's all about building mystique around you

which suggests to me that you're insecure in the first place. Well, mystique are all available. You can take them everywhere with you. And the other thing you can take with you everywhere is our app, which is available for iOS and also for Android, but you do have to work a little bit harder to download it for Android sorry not our fault. That's the kind of challenge

Android users love. They're probably nerds aren't they? They're nerds. But all the links to do that are listed on our website AnswerMeThisPodcast.com Of course our contact details are on there as well so you can send us questions Yes via email, phone and as we said Skype. I mean

though Skype voicemail. I don't mean type us a question via Skype, because we always forget to... Why do people do that? Oh, it makes us angry. I'm incoherent with anger. So hopefully by next week, the incoherence and the anger will have subsided,

and the podcast will not just be me going... Sounds like our early stuff, which you can also buy on our website. And we'll see you next week. Bye!