Answer Me This! - AMT238: Childbirth, TGI Friday's and Chico Time

Episode Date: November 22, 2012

Childbirth, TGI Friday's and Chico Time Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Black Friday to honour Rebecca Black Has to be this, has to be this Would you rather eat polystyrene or snackerjacks? Has to be this, has to be this Helen and Ollie, has to be this We've had a suggestion, Ollie, as to how you can perhaps recreate the childish joy you felt when being given a piggyback, but in a more adult way. Tony in Manchester says, Olly, if you like piggybacking...

We established that I definitely do. Well, you did. You might not as an adult anyway, even without your medical problems. I haven't tried it for 20 years. She says, if you like piggybacking, why not play donkey barging? Now, that's not the same as donkey bagging, is it? What's donkey bagging? Donkey bagging is when you're bumming someone, you put your fingers down their throat to make them sick and it tightens their anal sphincter

oh that's even worse than a donkey punch why do people come up with such awful sexual practices i don't think people really do it either why do people think of not only such awful sounding made-up sexual practices but ones that are very hard to execute physically like how would you reach around far enough to get enough purchase on someone's throat? Well, that all depends on the size of the lady. And the size of your arm. Anyway, she says donkey barging is where four or more people in pairs

give piggybacks and they try to push each other off. Great fun. So you've introduced a guaranteed element of instability into the scenario that I was concerned might cause me to fall off. I don't think you've understood, Tony in Manchester, that the issues that I feel that I might hurt my back by falling off

are not going to be resolved by doubling the opportunities to fall off. I think increasing more than double. That's right. Someone's actively trying to get that result. And you're essentially jousting. Well, we've had more feedback on last week's show from Kate in China. It's exotic, isn't it? I don't know.

It might be very ordinary. I've never been. I see what you're saying. I mean, it all depends on global perspective, but to me, China seems exotic from this living room in Crystal Palace. Well, to one billion people, it seems ordinary. I take your point. She says, I just thought I'd email in response to Martin's

statement that they don't drink milk in China. I'm living in China this year, teaching English in a high school in Chengdu, and I can categorically tell you that they definitely do drink milk in China. I think historically they didn't. One swallow does not make a summer, Kate. Maybe it's all the rage in Chengdu and the rest of China is still anti-milk.

Well, she says there the kids drink it every day and are always telling me to drink more of it because it's healthy. To be fair, it's not really proper milk, but it's close. Well, that is healthy, isn't it fair it's not really proper milk but it's close well that is healthy isn't it fake milk not proper milk maybe it's um diluted emulsion paint that they're drinking no she says what it is is it comes in little cartons sometimes flavored with fruit my favorite is the kiwi oh that's a bit acidic to be flavoring a milky thing yeah yeah but then sometimes it's that combination of sweet and sour that makes a pleasurable taste experience, isn't it? Sweet and sour milk. She says it has little pieces of actual fruit in it

and some kind of jelly substance, which is strange at first, but you get used to it. Sounds a bit like vomit. I've had that, not the milk, but I've had, you know, in Chinese... The aloe jelly. Yeah, Chinese super stores, you can get that aloe vera drink. Oh, I like that. Yeah, I like it.

The first time you have it, it's a bit like reverse barfing. But then when you get used to the idea of chunks going down your throat that way, you actually think, you know, actually this is quite a pleasurable experience. Hi, this is Freya, living in Bournemouth. Helen, answer me this. Why in the restaurant chain TGI Fridays is there an apostrophe before the S? Because I don't think that grammatically makes sense, because it's not like everything belongs to TGI Fridays.

If there's not any reasoning for the apostrophe to be there, then why is it still there? Well, usually I'm very upset by abused apostrophes. More than upset. Distraught, I'd go as far to say. I do feel a physical pain. Yeah, but not on this occasion. Why? Because there's loaded potato skins to make you feel better. Onion um have you had the onion loaf do they do that there i haven't been there since i was nine they do that in some american ones i don't know if they do it in the

uk onion loaf oh my god it's amazing it's just it's loads of onion rings in a mound like it like a bread loaf that you can cut through so you have like 10 onion rings no it's awesome actually i've just seen something on a website that collates the chat magazine type top tips. And this one says, I wanted an onion ring pole for a party I was hosting for strippers with halitosis. Yeah. And couldn't find one anywhere.

Then I had an idea. The kitchen roll holder did just the job. Here it is, Ollie, looking classy. Oh, that looks brilliant, actually. Who wants an onion ring pole? Who wants a pole of onion rings for a party? That is beautiful, yeah. It's a shame we got married before we saw that.

So is that someone trying to do homemade TGI Friday stuff? Maybe because they are disgusted by the apostrophe. Because I can't justify this, Helen. The apostrophe. Apart from possibly, although we all know it stands for Thank God It's Fridays, right? But possibly there is a man who was known as TGI Friday to his mates and he opened the first one.

No, the first one was opened by a man called Alan Stillman. So it doesn't work. It's not called Stillman's. Why has it got the apostrophe? I think it's just, though, in that tradition of bars named after a person. It's a TGI Friday's establishment. Right. It's an unfinished sentence.

It's a bar belonging to TGI Friday. But I think they could have just left off the S and the apostrophe and then we wouldn't have this problem. I think that's establishment. Right. It's an unfinished sentence. It's a bar belonging to TGI Friday. But I think they could have just left off the S and the apostrophe and then we wouldn't have this problem. I think that's right. I think that's absolutely right, Helen. I think therefore you should be animated about this subject. Don't give me another linguistic bugbear, Ollie. I'm already too preoccupied with people using pronouns incorrectly

when they're saying Ollie and I, when they mean Ollie and me, or vice versa. See, now I find that quite confusing. I think what you said to me, which is quite useful, is think about the sentence without the other person in it. That's right. And say, would I say I or me in that sentence? You do that anyway.

Classic only child. But all I can remember of TGO Friday's food is onion rings. Do they actually sell anything that's not onion rings? Well, the thing is, it's basically burgers, isn't it? And I think in the 70s, when there was only Hard Rock sticky fingers and that that was quite exciting but now i mean there's so many american bars and stuff like to me tgi fridays is a place you go like cafe rouge when there's nowhere else it's fine you're on an industrial state in the middle of nowhere or in an airport terminal okay okay 15 pounds for a burger it's a bit expensive but it'll be an okay

burger i'll go there. If there was a branch of giraffe, you'd go for giraffe. You'd go branch of giraffe. I'm glad we've revived that catchphrase. I'm surprised giraffe haven't deployed it yet. Someone actually tweeted me the other day saying they walked around Coventry or something

and saw a giraffe and went branch of giraffe. It's not even a catchphrase, is it? It's just saying what it is. But thinking about Oliman the whole time. I read the recipe for making a Big Mac, and apparently the secret, the special sauce, is store-bought mayonnaise, yellow mustard, and sweet pickle relish mixed together.

Yeah, that sounds about right. And that's the critical Big Mac taste, isn't it? See, when you know, it's not interesting, is it? No. When you know, you're like, oh yeah, that sounds... It's like when they reveal how Houdini did his magic tricks.'re like oh okay there was a door at the back okay yeah who's the old woman on steve right in the afternoon it's an old woman you've never heard of her yeah all right okay yeah you know it's more interesting to have the mystery whose girl with the one track mind a

woman i don't know well uh here's a question from dan in peterborough uh and he says uh helen asked me this if chico and mc hammer were in the same room what time would it be oh is it chico time or hammer time i think the quality of both those times is quite different i think chico time is more a phase that you go into it's a mood whereas hammer time i think is on the hour and every quarter it's possible to experience both at once hammer time could fall in the middle of someone experiencing chico time very much like chico time is is a fugue state yes perhaps who do you think would have a better time in that room i'd imagine chico is a more polite man but we'd have to listen to mc hammer banging on about mc hammer's current business ventures i think that's probably right i can't imagine mc hammer would want to be in the same room as chico although you could well imagine them both being on Celebrity Big Brother, couldn't you?

Yeah. The thing is, Hammer now, he's a sort of Silicon Valley entrepreneur, isn't he? Yes. Whereas Chico, I looked on his website, he was on Dancing on Ice this year, apparently, but his most recent job was hosting a live bingo cam session. That's not like the live girls' cams, is it? But just Chico using a bingo dabber on a bingo card. I don't believe so helen no but hammer is doing the uh the one hit wonder retro nostalgia stuff again the ironic stuff chesney

hawks can do it yeah but hammer for a long time just didn't want to go there like was still presenting himself as a serious artist or a serious silicon valley investor yeah but actually apparently this week he performed at the American Music Awards with Psy. They did a mash-up. They did Gangnam Style and Hammer did Too Legit To Quit. I don't remember that one. His famous worldwide number one smash. That's the name of his album, isn't it?

You see, but he's still reluctant. Like, just do... You can't touch this. That's all anyone wants. He didn't wear the gold trousers either. He wore white ones. And how sick would Psy be of doing the Gangnam Style dance now? He's just been doing that dance solidly for months. He didn't wear the gold trousers either, he wore white ones. And how sick would Si be of doing the Gangnam Style dance now? He's just been doing that dance solidly for months. He hasn't even been allowed to walk everywhere. He's really good at it though, he's really graceful.

I watched him trying to teach Jay Rayner how to do it today on a video. That's touching. Jay Rayner wasn't getting it at all. Jay Rayner's a middle-aged food critic, it's not really his herb to learn dances. Well, Si's not that young, but he was moving with a beautiful Aquine Grace. Hello, it's Charlie from Leeds.

Helen and Ollie, answer me this. It's my brother's birthday today and we accidentally put some relighting candles on his cake and we were just wondering how

did it actually work so that the candles keep on relighting? Oh, those are good fun, aren't they? Those trick candles. They kind of are. It's very embarrassing

being the victim, I think, of the relighting candles. Well, it's like it's trick candles they kind of are it's very embarrassing being the victim i think of the relighting candles well it's like it's embarrassing being the victim of any practical joke but usually you can see the funny side and then once you've seen the funny side the joke's over and usually it's not your birthday but the problem with relighting candles is yeah exactly it is your birthday and so you want to be the center of attention in a different way in a good way yeah and and yet you're going to feel slightly awkward at being center of attention at that exact moment when everyone's singing happy birthday and looking at you and you have to just kind of be gracious that's difficult isn't it pulling that face for a long time it's awful having happy birthday sung at you anyway because it's such a terrible song it was my brother's

birthday last weekend and my mum managed to get the song and i think three separate times it's just awful why did mums like it in particular i think it's brain damage maybe it's something that happens when a child goes through your birth canal. Anyway, the reason why these things work to ruin Olly Mann's birthday is because, unlike a normal candle, they have a substance in the wick so that the ember that's left in the wick when you've just blown it out can reignite and thus set fire to the little stream of paraffin vapour that is rising off the wick that you've just blown out. Okay, so it's turning the by-product of an ordinary blown-out candle

into something that causes the re-ignition of this particular gas. Yeah, so the gas will re-ignite and light the wick and the candle will be going again. So usually they use magnesium powder. I wonder how re-igniting candles came to be because obviously we know them all as a beloved practical joke. But to me it seems like that technology, you know, the magnesium, the paraffin...

Could be old, couldn't it? Well, I wonder if it's the sort of thing that was developed actually for the military. I was thinking for the Elizabethans because they love court jesters. They probably thought this joke was really funny. No, but you know, imagine that. The enemy thinks they've turned off your ticking bomb but they haven't. Well, it is a similar principle to dynamite sticks. Yeah, exactly.

And you could put those on a birthday cake but it might produce beyond the desired effect of a joke. There'll be cake everywhere. If you've got a question, then email your question, yeah, to AnswerMailThisPodcast at GoogleMail.com. AnswerMailThisPodcast at GoogleMail.com. AnswerMailThisPodcast at GoogleMail.com answer me this podcast to googlemail.com

so retrospectives what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of today in history on monday we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors. Ten minutes each

weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. Here's a question from Concerned in Hebden Bridge, who says my wife is due to give birth to our first child in April. Well, good luck. That's good, isn't it? That sounds like good news. Understandably, he says, she

would like me to be in the delivery room during the labour to provide moral support, encouragement, and witness the moment our first child comes into this world. It doesn't seem an unreasonable demand. I mean, she's going to be doing most of the work. You do read this and you think, where is this going next? Because it wouldn't be beyond the wit of man to imagine that this is going to be, but England are playing Argentina that day,

so I don't know if I can make it. I'm not sure our listeners are cut from such crass cloth. Okay, geek version. There's a new Lord of the Rings film out that day. The Hobbit! I've got tickets for the iMacs. They're launching the iPhone 6. Anyway, it's not that, thankfully.

Oh, so he's not camping outside the Apple store. No, he's got a good reason to be dubious about whether he should be there, and I don't really know what to say to him. Here's what he says. I would like to be part of the occasion, but unfortunately, I have a tendency to faint at the slightest sign of anything icky. Right. Well, unfortunately...

It's pretty icky. Not only that, the life of a child is quite icky. They're disgusting. Count yourself out now. No, you're just going to have to get over it. But I've never fainted at anything.'ve literally never fainted i've never felt like i was going to faint either i can't relate to this at all if you blow up a long balloon ollie those are much tougher than a round balloon that's the kind of sensation but intensified and it also

feels a bit like your skull is too small for your brain okay now what i have had is when i spent too long in a steam room right and i know i know then that if I spend another ten minutes in there, then I'm going to faint, I guess. Over pampering. Yeah, that's my major clinical problem. Then I know that I need to go outside, get some water, get some air. So I guess I can relate to that. Concerned from Hebden Bridge does have some examples

of his previous fainting experiences, and they're pretty wussy, Helen. Okay. Being unable to watch James Herriot stick his hand up a cow in All Creatures Great and Small. Oh, for God's sake. Fainting experiences and they're pretty wussy Helen okay being unable to watch James Herriot stick his hand up a cow in all creatures great and small oh for god's sake fainting whilst giving blood

I've been politely asked not to come back that happens to a lot of people not me and I've done it four times I wouldn't I can't give blood

because I definitely would faint why and piss myself what's what's it's a phobia it's not of what the needle

yeah the sensation of having a needle in my flesh. Okay, but if you were in the hospital receiving blood, would that make you faint? Or that doesn't matter because you're in the right place? Well, no, he'd probably feel quite faint because he's missing blood. Yeah, if I'm in that circumstance, I'd probably be under general anaesthesia. Whenever he sees me sewing, he passes out and throws up. For someone who's worked in the medical industry, though, Martin, that is quite remarkable.

I don't have a problem with other people's blood. I'm quite happy for the people to bleed all over the shop. It's my own mortality. Oh, well, that's interesting then, isn't it, concerned in Hebden Bridge? Maybe seeing your own blood makes you faint, but seeing the gushing blood coming out of your wife's vagina, that'll be absolutely fine. And the faeces and the gunk.

And the entrails. And the tearing. I'm sure it'll be fine. Are you still with us? Someone throw some water on him. And the mucus. Okay, well, here's another example. He says that he fainted when he got a tattoo done

this was very embarrassing i get a tattoo done then he says he almost fainted during the ultrasound as well that's pretty lame is that just because it looks like an alien parasite has taken up residence in your wife because of my belly button phobia i think i would have an issue with an ultrasound actually with the extended belly button could you ask your girlfriend to wear a little toupee over her belly button during the pregnancy. Anyway, we've established that concern from Hebden Bridge is not good with needles or James Herriot. Yes. What does he want to know?

Well, he wants to know, Helen, answer me this. How the hell am I going to make it through my wife's labour without fainting? Sit down, number one. It might not be that practical to sit down. And I think you definitely want to remain at your wife's head end because I don't think anything in the room is going to be that pleasant. But at least you're not at the business end where things are coming out of the business end that's right you're at premium economy and also it's fairly early on in her pregnancy if she's not

due till april they probably haven't done the uh antenatal classes so those will probably get the initial shock out of the way because they're going to show you some horrible videos of people do that apparently and that would help yeah but you could ask the instructor at those classes for some tips for getting through it because i bet it's a very common thing people discover remarkable qualities in themselves at times of heightened emotion and extreme crisis like people who are genuinely quite wimpy and flappy if there's an emergency they can become very practical and supportive yeah my dad's a bit like that actually like my dad obsesses about the most tiny detail to do with what time i'm arriving it's usually to do with arrangements he'll call me five times what time are you driving here where are you

parking where are you coming from information doesn't even concern him and yet if i was to call him and say dad i've just had a car crash he'd say where are you how can i help like he'd actually suddenly change completely and stop worrying about it well maybe he's just worried about the things that might happen, but he's a lot more secure about things that have happened when bad things happen. My brother Andy is pretty pathetic in most situations, and he's not at all practical, and he goes absolutely apeshit when there's a wasp in the room.

And yet he managed to get through the birth of two of his children. One of which he delivered himself. Yeah, but there was cricket on the radio to calm him down. So yeah, you're right. I think probably adrenaline kicks in and you might be all right, but I still think, tell the hospital staff that you might faint first. I think probably your wife will be so angry at you if you're pathetic that it will scare you into being a bit less of a wimp.

A bit more robust. Yes. Hi, this is Charlie from Oxford. I have just got into a pub with my parents, and because I'm a scientist, they expect me to know how long dinosaurs live, because apparently nobody in the Museum of Dinosaurs seem to know. So, Helen Olley, answer me this. What is the average lifespan of a dinosaur?

Well, at this stage, nought. It's not relevant. I mean, should you tell her or should I? It's still a matter of curiosity, though, isn't it, Helen, even with extinct animals? Well, flocks of paleontologists are probably trying to discover this right now is that the pluralistic term for paleontologists flocks um i suppose a scrape of paleontologists a fossil of paleontologists oh nice yeah i'll take it it seems to be a matter of great dispute because some say well based on the life of a tortoise and an alligator and they're a bit like dinosaurs maybe it'd be up to 300 years then sounds like guesswork yes other people saying don't be silly yeah 300 years silly the more realistic estimate

seems to be about 40 years from the big carnivores but then herbivores they're saying oh they probably lived for 100 years they probably didn't they probably got eaten when they were 20 the little dinosaurs had quite short lifespans the ones that are kind of like birds far now so they might be 10 or 20 years now are dinosaurs particularly resonant for our generation because of jurassic park or did jurassic park come along because kids are always fascinated by dinosaurs way before jurassic park okay is the particular reason that children are so enchanted with dinosaurs because they don't exist like actually giraffes are pretty amazing aren't they but kids aren't that fascinated by giraffes because they go to the zoo they see one they're like okay here's the thing with the big long neck it's amazing really but it's not a t-rex is it why is that but that's because we're

adults when you're a child like oh it's like the books but stinky Bum bum, bum bum, bum bum, bum bum Helen, Ollie, answer me this Don't ridicule me and don't take the piss Give me a clue to what I'm asking Then in your awesome knowledge I'll be basking But since I'm mad, I'm so alone No one to email And no one to phone Where can I get new friends from? Answer me in this podcast.com

Here's a question from Chesca who says I am a recent graduate with a dilemma What to do with my entire life? Oh okay, that is what most people graduate from university with. And then you keep it forever. Ten years on, Cheska. She says, I am currently employed at the dullest job

in an industry that is not only crushingly monotonous, but also massively sexist. Does she specify what it is? I assume it's working on a production line and making copies of Nuts magazine or something. She says, I live at home And my post-university social life Is also really getting me down

So I've decided I need a change I've made it to the final stage of applicants Out of about 500 people For a programme where I can work In the happiest place on earth Disney World Florida Wow! Although, sorry to pick you up on this

But Disneyland California is the happiest place on earth I don't believe Walt Disney cool although sorry to pick you up on this but uh disneyland california is the happiest place on earth i don't believe walt disney world uses that slogan so it's not happy i believe their slogan is just the magic of the magic of walt disney world some magic is bad magic isn't it makes you melancholy not at disney world sorry all magic is good says i'm waiting to find out whether i've made the cut however there are some downsides this opportunity no there aren't is it that once you've experienced the second happiest place on earth everything after that is going to be very depressing i think it's that once you see minnie take her head off all childhood illusions of disney

kids listening says if i was successful yeah the job would be entry-level customer service, which I'm concerned could lack mental stimulation. Yeah, especially around very enthusiastic Americans, because they can make dull jobs seem... They have pride, even if they're very lowly paid. They're told to have pride because that distracts them from the fact they're not being paid properly. And we're generalising appallingly, obviously,

but compared to British people, Americans, you are a lot more enthusiastic. Yes. And you don't seem to mind so much when you work for massive global conglomerates and aren't really recognized for what you do they invented that yeah anyway the money is appalling right around seven or eight dollars an hour with long hours 40 plus a week yeah but presumably you get to go on space mountain as much as you like he says also although some of the applicants were really great others were

already very cliquey and intense imagine Imagine Twilight fans with their own vlogs. Wow. Those people probably won't get those jobs, will they? But people who apply for an international program to go to Disney World...

A bit weird, right? It's aspirational and it's also a bit mental. So I think you'd expect that. Why did you never do it? I thought about it, Helen. Did you? I thought about going

to Disneyland Paris. I never had the gumption to assume that I could get a job in Florida. Couldn't get into the big league. No. But my French wasn't good enough wasn't good enough so no no but they speak disney there don't they yeah but you have to be bilingual at paris no not if you're in one of the silent animal head things because you're not allowed to talk are you yeah but then i mean it's france you've got to be in a silent animal head union presumably you need to understand the paperwork she says i do love disney and i'm a positive person good that's

two out of three but I'm concerned that I may lack their blindingly sunny disposition Okay that is just two out of three then You've got to be blindingly sunny

at all times You can probably get pills for it I don't know whether it will be tough to work for 12 months with people who are so happy it makes me look like Eeyore

Oh One of the Disney family I like how she brought in a Disney reference there Actually you're back on point I'm also concerned with the current economy and all that spending a year away could put me in a difficult position to find work on my return.

It's all right. There'll probably still be a recession when you come back in a year. It'll still be difficult to find work. No worries. Yeah. So Ollie answered me this. Should I go and work at Disney World? Yes.

Or would I be happier moving to a city, the Magic City, and finding a regular job? Well, you can do both, can't you? And this is the thing, I think when people graduate from university, they really feel like

they have to have all the answers straight away, know what they're doing for the rest of their lives. It doesn't work like that. Like I said, 10 years still looking. Gonna cry.

You know, if you feel this urge inside you to see what it would be like working at Disney World, you've got this opportunity. Yes, the salary isn't much, but you do get to live in Florida and work in disney world it is going to feel like a sunny and happy place if only for a few months before you get bored why not take it and then

come back and get an ordinary job the stories you will have exactly because you worked at disney world yeah we'll keep you going for decades and also to employers when you come back the uk you spent that year doing something you're already discontent in your current job does she say which which bit she's working in she says the job would be to work in the uk pavilion at epcot oh okay so it should be like the british ambassador to disney it's kind of what that's like so you've never been to epcot have you i've never been to a disney place okay epcot is basically a theme park based around what people in the 1960s thought the year 2000 would be like now This international pavilion bit. Oh, that's like the old Crystal Palace.

There's like a French bit and an English bit. And they've recreated what they think is an English pub, except obviously you can get American cheeseburgers there. As you can in English pubs. Well, indeed, that's true. A red telephone box, that kind of thing. So she'd be working in the UK. She'd be an exotic UK lady.

Yeah, people might get their pictures taken with her and stuff because they met someone from the uk would you have to wear a top hat with the union jack on it it's possible that kind of thing and she would have to be relentlessly sunny as she says i don't see why this is a problem i think by acting relentlessly sunny it's bound to be a little pep to the spirits yeah thoughtful as action yeah i also think that uh if you are going into any kind of customer service role afterwards disney people know what that is all over the world don't they so whatever whatever job you're going to yeah and it's like if you can do customer services at disney world then you are going to

be i would say pretty good at your job if you even just got an average reference from them that's going to be hard going isn't it compared to doing customer services in a call center for british gas or something a year to a recent graduate probably seems like a long time away you probably think i should be doing my real big career by then but when you get to our age you think yeah i was just trifling away that time yeah i mean i wish i'd spent a year at disney world yeah i spent six months having to write articles based on press releases about uh new mobile phones made you the woman you are today broken unemployed yeah unemployable well if any of the rest of you have life dilemmas you need us to solve then please do get in touch nothing too existential because uh you know we're just hanging

by a thread ourselves anyway all of our contact details are listed on our website answer me this podcast.com but wait there's more in the style of i guess a kind of pixar b movie uh there's now going to be an extra little bit. You're really selling it. Is it where the Anglepoys lamp jumps around a bit and has an adventure? Yeah, it's kind of... No, I was thinking it's more like the little four-minute films, but then you get those before the big feature day,

whereas this is afterwards. Is it like the blooper reel on Toy Story? We know what I mean. There's going to be an extra bit now, so don't turn off this episode. Freebies for you. Martin has a new album out. It's called The City of Golden Lead.

And it's all you singing, playing all the instruments, all done multi-track. It's like Prince in that respect, aren't you? I'm a bit taller than Prince. And if people, whilst they're listening to the track, want to buy the album, they should go to thesoundoftheladies.com thesoundoftheladies.com And you can get a

CD. You can get a really nice CD with a pop-up papercraft sleeve, or you can get a download. And I will say, and I will say it only once, Martin, that I've listened to the album and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You've listened to it twice. Well, I've only listened to it twice so far, but I'm going to listen to it more.

Well, you went back for more, which is a pleasant surprise. I think it's the best one you've ever done. Martin has agreed to give you a little taster of the album right now. Take it away, the sound of the ladies. aspirational allowances like me There has been dim Through hostile eyelids A court of small terms So hang to self Breathe Clenching unconsciously Chin up, chin up

Arm outstretched Shoulders relaxed Echo a jawline You've got dressed up Right leg tense Retro Bench to knee Retro and Saturday I don't know I have angle

Where this will end I have devices Talking won't. My chest fires and I'm formed. If you really think, but sometimes in my world, it's so good. Secret heart. Why don't you go? Wonder if I'm human at all. guitar solo Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Bye.