Answer Me This! - AMT274: Bourbon Biscuits, Scandal and Pat Sharp's Fun House

Episode Date: October 10, 2013

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Why, whenever I watch The Simpsons, is it Treehouse of Horror? Answer me this, answer me this Do you take this woman for richer or poorer? Answer me this, answer me this Helen and Ollie, answer me this Now, I don't know whether we should be excited by this or slightly displeased, but it turns out, Helen, that Answer Me This listeners are no strangers to pooping a party. Good!
Starting point is 00:00:24 Is that good? We're all among friends here, aren't we? But we're all going home at an appropriate time. Well, at least they're pooping their own parties because this is... That's why we're doing a big shit on the floor. We've all been there. That's why I don't invite you to my parties anymore. Yes.
Starting point is 00:00:38 Carpet's ruined. This is from Johnny in Lancaster, that guy you never want coming to your party, who says, in response to Katie from Christchurch's question in the last podcast, I have a foolproof way to get people to leave your party once you've had enough of them. Namely,
Starting point is 00:00:54 put on a Leonard Cohen album. Yeah. What if it's a kind of miserablest shoegaze party? That's just getting the party started. I mean, I'm Your Man is a really kicking album, actually. You could dance to that. Was that the one where he covered wham hasn't he done a an album with lmfao has he it's leonard mfao it's a real belter well i think johnny's got some sound advice actually as a footnote to this he says make sure it's one of leonard cohen's early or recent albums
Starting point is 00:01:21 okay the ones in the late 70s and 80s are too poppy. There we go. Leonard Cohen fact. Yes. His maternal grandfather was a rabbi who wrote a 700-page thesaurus of Talmudic interpretations. Now that is a great way to clear a dance floor.
Starting point is 00:01:35 Good point. Just read from that. Is there an audiobook read by Leonard Cohen? Actually, that would be great. Also, Mark mentioned on Facebook that his wife suggested leading everyone in a big conga out into the garden
Starting point is 00:01:45 before running back in, locking the doors and turning the lights off. That's very good. Yeah, but then they're trapped in your garden. You need to lead them into a conga in the street. That's true. Also, I think Kevin Bacon has discredited any notion of congas forever. It makes me so sad that Kevin Bacon is in those EE adverts. And then when he dragged his wife in as well.
Starting point is 00:02:01 I know that it's so much money being the face of a campaign, but it's Kevin Bacon. He doesn't need to. Well, here's a question from Derry from Reading, who says, Olly, answer me this. What's the correct way to respond to someone winking at you? I think Derry doesn't give us any context.
Starting point is 00:02:19 No. If it's Anne Robinson, it's to walk off the set, isn't it? That's your view. Whereas if it is someone peering through your letterbox. think that's right i think context is all um i'm not a big winking fan actually generally of doing or receiving but either um but as a child when it happened to me a lot more as it does um you were one cat i was i was wonked out a lot yeah it's interesting i remember the precise moment more or less where i went from thinking that winking was like a fun
Starting point is 00:02:44 secret that you were sharing with a cheeky, mischievous adult who understood you, to the moment where I thought, oh, that guy's obviously a pedo. It was probably when I was about 14. Someone winked at me. I was like, oh, that's weird. Was that the moment that you turned into a man?
Starting point is 00:02:57 Yeah, I think it probably was. It was that watershed. That realisation that, you know, this little conspiracy of silence might actually be because they're a bit weird. I don't think I've ever had that. i think i've always found winking quite playful like doris day would do it she put her hands on her hips and go wink and a little bell would sound is this just in my imagination no well i think i think that hints at um the shared intimacy that
Starting point is 00:03:20 you can have with someone by winking across a room so So that's what she was trying to convey in those images, those posters, those films that you've seen. It was with the male viewer, wasn't it, that? And also the female viewer, which is like she's saying, you know what I mean, ladies, right? I actually hate myself when I wink. Occasionally do it when I'm trying to flirt and I don't know where it comes from.
Starting point is 00:03:42 I'm like, I'm not a winking guy. I'm just not a winker. I don't do it very much. I feel like I'm going a bitinking guy I'm just not a winker I don't do it very much I feel like I'm going a bit Sid James You're not a winker you look like you're having a stroke Because Martin appears can't wink without also opening his mouth in quite a gormless way How about when I do it?
Starting point is 00:03:55 You're doing naughty seaside winking You're not doing really I mean mine needs to be accessorised with elbows Will from Newark Helen and Ollie answer me this Where does the phrase here here come from and is it here here as in h-e-a-r or h-e-r-e it's h-e-a-r yeah obviously because here here would mean yes i really like your speech come and sit on my lap wouldn't it
Starting point is 00:04:18 that's a very odd inference that makes a lot of sense in brit Parliament. I suppose, if it was a lap-dancing institution. It used to be, hear him, because, obviously, all men in Parliament back in the day, and if you particularly agreed to the point, you would strenuously urge others by talking over it, going, hear him, hear him, hear him.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Oh, okay. So you're expressing your approval. You're telling people to shut up, actually. Well, you're saying, you know, what he's got to say is well worth listening to. Yeah guy yeah exactly i think the words just got slightly lost in translation as they so often do and also came just to mean approval well it's just become a slur now hasn't it it's now just a yeah it's just a lot of old men slurring they're all right not a slur like a stigma or an insult just like a drunk man going that's the noise isn't it it's like a really
Starting point is 00:05:06 crappy laugh isn't it they're more going yeah it's a bit like jeering as well yeah you're right but that's the english sense of humor isn't it you know well done but you're a prick is kind of what it means it's used instead of applause basically isn't it like someone sits down here like because i remember when tony blair left and he got the round of applause that was one of the few occasions where the house of commons is apparently applauded was it sardonic slow handcraft no it was genuine which is yeah it's interesting isn't it with all the people that opposed him still admired the fact that he managed to last 10 years maybe they're happy yeah well partly here's a question from eilish in redding who says my husband and i are expecting a baby in february congratulations In a few weeks we have
Starting point is 00:05:46 the 20 week scan which brings the inevitable question do we want to know the gender? My husband doesn't enjoy surprises and says that he doesn't see why we wouldn't find out this information when there's no good reason not to. Okay But I've come to the conclusion that leaving it to
Starting point is 00:06:01 be a surprise at the birth would be much nicer I have the fantasy movie moment in my head where my husband hands me my baby and says, it's a boy or it's a girl. The thought of not leaving it as a surprise now makes me feel upset. So, Helen, answer me this. Am I being unreasonable or is he being unreasonable? I don't think either of you is being unreasonable. You're just understanding your own personality foibles.
Starting point is 00:06:24 What's to stop you not finding out, but he can find out and not tell you that will not hold some people it holds does it maybe maybe i'm thinking of sitcoms i don't know it's got to in the end it's got to crack because also if you're decking out a nursery and one of you knows the gender and the other one doesn't it's's going to affect purchases, isn't it? It's going to, even if he is not intending it, he might do an inadvertent spoiler. And I think that is going to create a situation. Well, Eilish, I think personally,
Starting point is 00:06:57 were I to have a child and the option was there, I think I'd find it hard to resist knowing. And I think it's partly so that if I didn't know, I didn't start hoping for one and then I would be disappointed if it was the other one however I think in this case you're carrying the child you can change your mind at a later date but if you both find out now then you'll never be able to get this surprise movie moment in your head but you so your husband may not like surprises there are gonna be shit loads of surprises when you have the child.
Starting point is 00:07:25 I think maybe he needs to go with your feelings on this, since you're the one who's going to have a torn perineum. Surprise! That's a surprise he can enjoy. You've got a question? Then email your question to answer me this podcast at googlemail.com
Starting point is 00:07:46 Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at buglemail.com So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary
Starting point is 00:08:17 of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Here's a question from Kev from Preston in Lancashire. Kev says, many years ago, I auditioned to take part in pat sharp's fun house with my sister already this is a great email we got through yes and made it to the show yes what do you have to do to audition for fun house i wonder i bet they made the kids feel that the production team were assessing their skills at climbing up ladders and diving into ball ponds but i bet in reality they were assessing whether or not they were ugly. Yeah, or whether they were going to puke
Starting point is 00:09:06 if they went down a slide. Or whether their parents were like really awkward and were going to make things difficult for the production. Funhouse was an amazing show, wasn't it? It was a brilliant show
Starting point is 00:09:14 and for anyone under 20 it was a bit like Finders Keepers with Neil Buchanan. Well, I mean, put it in language that a lot of our listeners will understand.
Starting point is 00:09:21 It was welcome in in a big ballpond. It was a bit like a very elaborate multi-stage ball pond and there were sexy twins. There were sexy twins. Was it Melinda and Melinda or something like that? Isn't that Woody Allen? Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Anyway, Kev's email gets even better. He says, long story short. Why? Why? Tell us the whole story. Tell us about the ball pool. Actually, now, Martin, you don't normally go for this retro nostalgia beat. I really enjoyed that game As a kid
Starting point is 00:09:45 I really I thought it was amazing It was a great TV show Yeah It was a whole lot of fun Genuine enthusiasm Coming out of Martin It was so exciting
Starting point is 00:09:50 And imaginative It was exciting Colourful But it was the same every week So if you never saw the show kids What it was Was every week There was a giant obstacle course
Starting point is 00:09:57 A bit like in Total Wipeout It included a Grand Prix For kids where they were Going around in go-karts Yeah and then there was Like a zip wire And it was full on basically It was very multicoloured as well Very physically active But there was also Some intellectual skill Inarts yeah and then there was like a zip wire and it was full-on basically it was very multi-coloured very physically active but there was also some
Starting point is 00:10:07 intellectual skill involved as well there's like krypton factor for kids it was yeah and without the flight simulator and the children the audience were going mental the final round was amazing it was like kids passing through the digestive system of a garish robot with sexy twins yeah well remember when kev said long story short we've just yes. We've just ruined that. Kev's story, short, he says, we ended up winning the show. Good God. Wow. Walking away with some cool prizes.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Well done. Including a cuddly toy. Very good. A crucial difference between the US version and the UK version. In the US, they won money. In the UK, there is a law that says children cannot win money in game shows.
Starting point is 00:10:38 The Americans could have bought cuddly toys with their money. Yeah, they could have, yeah. And in the UK, they could have sold their Game Boys, couldn't they? Kev says, we had so much fun! I'm good. Lived up to his name. And we loved watching the show back live on
Starting point is 00:10:49 CITV after school. That was amazing! The playground kudos of that is extraordinary. The trouble is, says Kev, as I'm now 26, my old school friends from back then have drifted away, and I now have new friends and work colleagues to socialise with in my spare time.
Starting point is 00:11:05 A few months ago one of my colleagues spotted me on the show as they are now repeated on Challenge TV. That's amazing. Ever since then it has been nothing but questions.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Where is the jacket you got to keep? You got to keep the jacket! How tall is Pat Sharp minus the mullet? Well he doesn't have the mullet anymore so you can probably tell.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Did you enjoy it? Of course! Yeah. Was it fun? Of course! Yes. Are a few of those questions that kev is bombarded with answer me this how can i politely tell them to forget about it as that was then this is now well it's recent to them isn't it to the viewers of challenge tv this is new material this is new episode of funhouse they haven't seen before
Starting point is 00:11:41 well also even though it might not be new to them they might realize it's 20 odd years ago it might have struck a chord in their childhoods as something that they would have longed to do and didn't get to do and they want to know all about it. It's kind of innocent isn't it? It's also hilarious to see someone that you know as an adult doing something faintly embarrassing as a child. Yeah I don't think I'd recognise any of my adult friends in their child incarnations on television in 80s and 90s style moreover. But there is a reason why it's not an easy memory for kev to relive because he says what makes things worse is that my dad passed away shortly after the show and that's all i think about when they asked me about it so you can
Starting point is 00:12:14 imagine they are good memories but not nice to relive please help okay i can imagine that and that is unfortunate but it's also not the fault of people seeing you on they're not going to know that are they it's not in the end credits you could you could kill the conversation though immediately by saying well my dad died shortly after that so i'd rather not talk about it but that would make you a bit of a dick actually you could maybe the thing to do is to write a very comprehensive blog post with screen grabs from the episodes and just get everything out the way and so when people anthony wiener technique say your piece and then you can't you know then when people ask you about the future you can say well i've dealt with those questions yeah yeah I
Starting point is 00:12:46 think say to them well I've written about it on my website why don't you go and have a look and on your website you can say it's not uh an entirely happy memory to plunder because of this you know huge personal thing that happened to me around the same time I think recounting the experiences might be cathartic for you and also it would save you having this conversation again and again but i don't think there's any graceful way to cut down people's genuine enthusiasm no i mean if people like martin can be moved to genuine fervor not knowing we're about to have a question about funhouse martin the most miserable man in the world someone who doesn't watch quiz shows on tv now for adults someone who seems to hate fun in all its forms i like it if it's in the house um you
Starting point is 00:13:25 know i think that's a genuine reaction and you're right i don't think there's much you can do about it it's real nostalgia and also i think you would get a lot of hits from people who don't even know you because people are fascinated by this stuff but kev if you're fed up with this just imagine how pat sharp feels no in fact pat sharp has only only just very recently started going on the corporate slash Christmas party market with a adult fun house. You can book him and the twins and you can book them for your Christmas party. So he will bring an adult sized ball pot. No, it says here very clearly on the website. Please note, we do not bring the actual fun house as it is in a skip somewhere.
Starting point is 00:14:04 Nor do we have the fun cards because we lost our licences. They're joking though, right? They are joking. That's their funny way of saying, don't be ridiculous. You're not going to give us a grand and then we're going to turn up with an ITV set. That is very upsetting imagery. But presumably they turn up with a mic and a speaker
Starting point is 00:14:18 and they do lewd games. And the song. They do the song. Everyone sings along the song. Surely they do the song, yeah. And that is one of the tragedies of Jim will fix it, actually. And I know in the grand scheme of operation you treat it's a minor tragedy but i think the fact that you can never again sing the joyous jim will fix it theme tune
Starting point is 00:14:32 it's just brilliant isn't it the whole concept of that show is is really nice yeah i thought they would bring it back a few years ago and now obviously they never will no they can't yeah a friend of mine started an online rumor a few months ago that I'd been on an episode of Nightmare. Why did they start such a... I think they wanted to really, really hurt my feelings because it made me really sad that I've never been on an episode of Nightmare. I would have loved to have been on an episode of Nightmare because Nightmare was brilliant.
Starting point is 00:14:54 It's so sad, isn't it, that our generation is just so infantilised we never grow out of these things. But yeah, it's OK to be nostalgic about something. I had such a happy time earlier this year, listeners, when I discovered some series of Davina McCallccall era street mate on the channel 4 website and that really holds up not visually because late 90s hair and clothes and particularly shoes were awful like men would wear shiny suits on dates with flip-flops and the girls all had these weird skunk stripes and like long denim a-line skirts and flip-flops. You see the theme.
Starting point is 00:15:27 But it's just quite sweet and fun. And even though the cameraman were always trying to get boobs and bum shots in as people were preparing to go on dates, it seemed like quite an innocent and good-hearted enterprise. It would be a lot more intrusive now, wouldn't it? There'd be a camera in the bedroom probably. Well, also then, this was pre-Big Brother and people just weren't accustomed to appearing on screen so there's something quite sweet and innocent about
Starting point is 00:15:48 the way they treat it they don't they don't play a character exactly they don't put it on for the cameras yeah and divina she was a real delight maybe maybe we should all just watch old stuff and not watch any new tv at all the past was a better country wasn't it god we get to that stage i don't really believe that but when it comes to tv shows maybe sometimes what's the big deal about breaking bad why not just watch street mate they're not really in the same genre yeah they're not what's your favorite question from our first three years that's really made you good for tim curry or tim Disposing of dead mice. Dave from Smethwick on Kosher Law.
Starting point is 00:16:28 If you like fact or bawdy talk. Or just a soundtrack for your walk. We've got stuff to entertain you. Cos for 79 pence each you can buy our first three years episodes. Or just the good ones, who could blame you? Go to answermethispodcast.com slash classic or iTunes. And if
Starting point is 00:16:44 you don't, you'll get a visit in the night from our band of hired goons. Hired goons. Whack, whack, whack to what they say. If you value your knees. Listeners, if you want to ask us questions in your own voices, it's very easy. All you need to do is dial the following number.
Starting point is 00:17:03 0208 123 58 007 And then open your mouths. the following number. 0-2-0-8-1-2-3-5-8-double-7 And then open your mouths and then think about the question you're going to ask and let the words come onto your tongue and out into your telephone receiver. Or, if you're Skyping, answer me this. Into your smartphone. Computational microphone.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Options. Lots of options. Let's see who has managed that feat this week. Jackson Leeds. Helen and i answer this is there any relation between the uh bourbon the disgusting liquor and bourbon the beautiful biscuit the name bourbon in both cases is after the french bourbon dynasty but they're not linked the substances so the Bourbon booze, that was debatably called after the Bourbon County of Kentucky, where a lot of it was made, or after Bourbon Street in New Orleans. Bourbon biscuits were invented by Peak Friens in 1910, a Bermondsey-based company. So they didn't have anything to do with the Kentucky Bourbon or Louisiana Bourbon.
Starting point is 00:18:02 The Bourbon biscuits were originally called Criollas and they changed them to Bourbon as a tribute to the French dynasty. Amazing, isn't it? How making anything French makes it seem posh. Yes, I think they did think it was posh and they already had Garibaldi biscuits, which they've been making since the 1860s and named them after General Garibaldi because that seemed pretty posh.
Starting point is 00:18:24 So maybe they thought... Such an English thing isn't it? Such an English thing, and it's like, ooh, a taste of the Mediterranean. Well, these Criollas aren't selling that well. Maybe we'd shift a few more units if people thought they were posh, like our Garibaldis seem posh, even though they're very dry. I do like a Garibaldi biscuit, but not a bourbon. Very dry. I wonder if there's any connection as well with the word bonbon.
Starting point is 00:18:43 No. Sounds a bit like it. Well, it's got the word bon in it. Is there any connection as well with the word bonbon. No. Sounds a bit like it. Well, it's got the word bon in it. Is there any connection with Jon Bon Jovi? Maybe. Hello, this is Joe in Seattle. And, you know, this might make sense to normal people under normal circumstances. But to be completely honest, I hit my head really hard a few hours ago.
Starting point is 00:19:03 And then I had a couple of beers. And unfortunately, the symptoms beers and unfortunately the symptoms of drunk and the symptoms of concussion are the same so i don't know um i don't know how i'm doing so um uh but yeah maybe this would make sense to you folks so helen and ollie answer me this what the fuck is bud light platinum is this like a terrible beer that I can drink and earn air miles at the same time or something? What was that about air miles? Is that the concussion? No, I think he's making a joke because Bud Light Platinum sounds like, I don't know, American Express Platinum where you'd get bonus points for doing a certain thing.
Starting point is 00:19:39 We don't have this product, Jo, over here. No. Is Bud Light a low alcohol one? It's a lower alcohol, alcohol lighter beer heavily carbonated not that nice is that why it's lighter just it's got more air in it well the thing is we've if you want something like that you could get a corona which is nicer i think in america they just have all these light beers because i don't know their taste is so different i mean and like actually the taste for branding is different as well i mean imagine having old speckled hen
Starting point is 00:20:03 platinum which is ridiculous it's the wrong metal isn't it, imagine having Old Speckled Hen Platinum. Bah! Which is ridiculous, isn't it? It's the wrong metal, isn't it? You'd have Old Speckled Hen Balsawood or something, wouldn't you? Exactly. Rather than Teak. I'd never heard of this beer, but apparently Bud Light Platinum is triple filtered with a smooth finish and a top shelf taste.
Starting point is 00:20:18 What does that mean? Top shelf finish means it's got big jugs. Yeah, it suggests, Joe, that you should only get drunk whilst leafing through old pornography. That's an option. It's not going to make you that drunk, is it? If it's light, it's joe that you should uh only get drunk whilst leafing through old pornography um but that's an option it's not gonna make you that drunk is it if it's light it's not an appealing thing uh well okay the bubbles so yes it's light basically it's the pepsi max of beer i think they probably felt that bud light was being consumed by too many women to be seen as a beer that men were gonna buy oh so they thought let's add a precious metal that'll make it manly it's got got 2% more alcohol than Bud Light.
Starting point is 00:20:46 It's got Justin Timberlake as its creative director. Oh, no! Justin Timberlake's career is hilarious. Let's donate a Bud Light Platinum for Myspace, guys. He doesn't get out of bed unless someone is shoving money into his face, does he, basically? Such lavish little prick, isn't he? But I would be the creative director of Bud Light Platinum
Starting point is 00:21:05 if they asked I think for Timberlake sums would you not anything that Timberlake touches I can't go near giving his the halitosis thing
Starting point is 00:21:13 I've kind of got over my feeling that Justin Timberlake must have halitosis but I just think he's loathsome in all other ways it's like half way
Starting point is 00:21:20 between Bud and Bud Light with a manly spin that's what they're going for. I just think the name is a mistake. I think bringing platinum into it is a mistake. What metal would you choose? Tin? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:32 I don't think you'd call it a metal. You'd call it something manly like Hammer Party. Or Bud Light Lawnmower. What about Bud Less Light? Bud Light-ish. Yeah. Bud Just Light Enough. So it's not like you're gay or anything bud light years guys we're gonna run into trouble with pixar if we call something bud light year
Starting point is 00:21:51 yeah probably all right platinum fine helen oliver though life is full of questions there are answers you must know one no it will not fall off but moderation in all things too yes there probably is but we won't find out in our lifetimes three times three. Most people prefer colliery, but my personal favourite is Dalton 4. If you try and slip a one, it would ruin your friendship. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Here's a question from Patrick from Cork who says, whilst watching hit American show Scandal... Never seen it. You seen it? Yes. What's it about? It's about a lady who kind of quashes scandals that the American president and his associates get into in Washington DC. Oh, so she's like a spin doctor?
Starting point is 00:22:54 She's more like a cleaner-upper of disgrace. Like a fixer. Yes. She's like a fixer. But the thing is, everyone raves about Scandal, I just haven't been able to get into it. I've tried one and a half series, I'm just not that bothered. That's a good test. That's quite a lot.
Starting point is 00:23:07 That's more than I did of The Wire, and I was happy to dismiss that against the tide. I've given it a good go, I think, and there are a lot of elements that are good about it, but I just don't care about what happens to any of them. Okay, thanks for the briefing. No problem. Patrick from Cork has been watching hit show Scandal,
Starting point is 00:23:19 in which the fictional president got shot. Oh, well, there's a spoiler. Well, he's fictional though i'm gonna watch it now most american shows in which a president features heavily they're gonna get shot so we're gonna try and shoot them yeah or they're gonna try and bring down air force one yeah we know the form fair enough uh ollie answer me this if the president and the vice president got shot who would run the usa and if some flamboyant Bond villain blew up Congress and killed all the cabinet, who would then become the president?
Starting point is 00:23:49 Or would there be none? Well, under ordinary circumstances, the succession goes, president, vice president, speaker of the house, and then president pro tempore of the senate. What's that? I've absolutely no idea. Something posh in Latin, but someone from the senate. Even if you killed all the cabinet which is what patrick is hypothesizing the speaker of the house is not in the cabinet and the president pro tempore of the senate is
Starting point is 00:24:13 not in the cabinet and that was deliberate that was done by harry truman because it used to be that the cabinet would then be the next person up and that was done so that effectively the president can't choose their own successor so it's to try and stop corruption essentially and also is it the case that whilst the president and the vice president might often be together and therefore a single target they're not often all four going to be together you know the president pro tempore or whatever it was but i'd imagine nowadays anyway uh the onus would be on whomever then became president if they weren't the vice i mean if they're the vice president fair enough they get to be president that's the whole point of that job yeah but if it wasn't the vice president if mean, if they're the vice president, fair enough, they get to be president. That's the whole point of that job.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Yeah. But if it wasn't the vice president, if it was either the Speaker of the House or the President Pro Tempore of the Senate. You're not going to stay president for long, are you? You're not going to stay. You're just a placeholder. Diplomatically, you would surely have to call an election pretty sharpish. You'd at the very least have to get the permission of your party
Starting point is 00:24:59 to be the leader of the party, never mind the country. So I can imagine someone coming in for a year and saying, look, I'll do this for a year, but then we we're gonna have an election and you can judge how i'm doing the american people aren't gonna like it very much if you're just there and no one voted for you well no they wouldn't think it meritocratic indeed but we've got a special circumstance at the moment because if for some reason president obama was indisposed let's not let's not talk about him being killed but if he was indisposed who would object to michelle obama stepping up and going it's all right guys i've got this who doesn't love michelle obama and who
Starting point is 00:25:28 doesn't feel a bit better when she's uh standing in front of people smiling beatifically and looking like she's got a little joke running in her head i get all that but i would object if i was an american citizen to that because she's not a politician that i voted for an elected representative ordering drone strikes not not some random woman. Well, it is interesting the way that the presidential style has influenced our thinking now. So at the party political conferences, which we've just had,
Starting point is 00:25:50 the focus is all about what's Samantha Cameron wearing. You know, Nick Clegg's wife, whatever her name is. She's Miriam Gonzalez. Miriam Gonzalez. But she's busy. Is she even there? She was there. She was at the conference
Starting point is 00:26:00 and there was the focus on what she's wearing. And A, that's demeaning anyway. She's a very intelligent woman. Because exactly, she has a powerful job. But B, that that's not her job her job is not to be politician's wife she just happens to be one yeah justine miller band as well she looks like she's got plenty of other stuff going on yeah and everyone's like oh her dress it was 250 pounds it's weird isn't it but that's because of michelle obama isn't it that's because that's what people say around but we don't have that system they're not supposed to you're not supposed to vote for someone based on
Starting point is 00:26:23 their wife well they said that because nick clegg would be prime minister if you did people people even talked about cherie blair's clothes and she was not particularly well presented uh so it's not it's not a michelle obama thing it predates that but anyway i said that this would apply in non-extraordinary circumstances the extraordinary circumstances in which this may not apply like like an independence day where all of the eastern seaboard pretty much yeah well exactly well in that scenario i think the army would probably take control in that situation, wouldn't they not? Oh, no. Yeah, afraid so, Helen.
Starting point is 00:26:50 You're saying oh, no now. You'd probably be grateful when aliens are invading and blowing up all the cities. It's just a very different job, though, being in the army and being the president. Yes, although you could argue that being chief lieutenant of the army is not that different. It's a role of responsibility to ensure law and order, isn't it? Yeah, but you've got to govern a country which is composed of half women rather than the army which isn't. Yeah, okay. But again, it would be a temporary measure, right?
Starting point is 00:27:13 Anyway, that's that. But the issue that I was talking about that is extraordinary is if the president and vice president are both elect, they've both just been elected, so the current president has no power, but they have this system where the president's there for three months, right? Right. So you've got this window where the election's in November and they're not fully installed until January. Correct.
Starting point is 00:27:33 That window. So like, say there was a Christmas apocalypse. Yes. Right. That's the problem. If Obama and Biden both got killed between Obama being elected and George W. Bush stepping down as president there is no protocol.
Starting point is 00:27:48 No one's quite sure what would happen if that happened. Well probably George W. Bush would stick around for a few more months. Well no because he's not elected he's lost the mandate.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Yeah but at least he's got some experience of the job. No matter what you think of the way he did it. Well what it says is in the 20th amendment apparently it says
Starting point is 00:28:02 Congress may by law provide for the case wherein neither a president elect nor a vice president shall have qualified and presumably uh still breathing is one of the things that would qualify so so they've sort of drafted the possibility there might be some reason why the elected people are not appropriate for the job and then congress can decide but what they don't do is tell you what congress should do so there'd be a hell of a debate then yeah and they probably i guess they probably would say let's keep the old guy on but that would be pretty controversial if you just elected a different party but then let's call
Starting point is 00:28:30 another election i suppose that's what they did but then who's the president in that time exactly you've got it would have to be george bush i guess it would have to you'd have to carry on with george w bush yeah it's got to be michelle obama get the new guy's wife in yeah she seems nice well you know what would also be nice Not as nice as Michelle Obama But pretty nice Is if you send us some questions listeners Oh yeah Yeah that is nice
Starting point is 00:28:50 That's as nice as we can get in the UK So all of our contact details are on our website AnswerMeThisPodcast.com And whilst you're there Click the button that allows you to join up To our Love Film trial For two reasons really One is because by doing so we get a
Starting point is 00:29:06 little bit of money from our friends at love film i'm not going to pretend that there's any other reason we're excited about it well i'm excited because it means you can just waste away all of your time streaming films and tv series well exactly the other legitimate reason for you to be excited is because you get access to love film instant for a whole month on your ipad or your pc or your mac or whatever and you don't have to pay anything for that month's long free trial you can watch as much as you like during that time and new for october on love film instant the perks of being a wallflower we both agreed three stars on that one yes it's it's a flawed four star really isn't it it is yeah yeah it's a three stars with aspiration that worth worth a watch you can go back to the podcast last year in which we
Starting point is 00:29:42 gave a fuller review of the perks of being a wallflower i give it a year is on there that's the one with rave spall pretending to be hugh grant isn't it i heard bad but again i'm intrigued and i want to see it that looks like a great plane film and i do feel like love film is a bit like having constant seat back entertainment which is why i love it and in fact there's a great box set on there this we can vouch for ugly betty series one to four on there i can only vouch for series one but that was a very enjoyable series yeah yeah, yeah, sure. I'm not pretending I stuck the whole course, but what I'm saying is there's at least 10 hours of entertainment there
Starting point is 00:30:10 that you'd want to check out. Yeah, and what else are you going to be doing in the glumness that is October? Exactly. Watch leaves fall off the trees? So do that. Give us some money. Get some free entertainment.
Starting point is 00:30:21 And if you're feeling altruistic, you could buy Martin's latest Long Player, which is a charity album raising funds for Arts Emergency Martin what's the name of the album? It's called
Starting point is 00:30:31 Kill It With Fire It's a concept album isn't it? It's a concept album it's a magic realist socialist feminist adventure But don't let that
Starting point is 00:30:39 put you off you can buy it from existentialmeldown.bandcamp.com Super It's incredible he's like a parody of himself folks and we shall see you next week listeners can buy it from existentialmeldown.bandcamp.com Super. It's incredible. He's like a parody of himself folks. And we shall see you
Starting point is 00:30:48 next week listeners. Bye. Bye.

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