Answer Me This! - AMT301: Rock Circus, Hooters and the Chippendale Murders

Episode Date: October 30, 2014

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Did anyone on New Faces get a new face? Answer me this, answer me this Does Keris Matthews still hang out with Tommy from Space? Answer me this, answer me this Helen and Ollie, answer me this Well, we're still on a comedown from Answer Me This 300 listeners. Well, Jennifer is still recovering because she says, I had a mini stroke at the

end of amt 300 when i thought it was the last ever episode hopefully not a real one i think that's a term of phrase no that was just uh jesse and theresa thorne playing a little trick on you we were just jerking your dicks well phil's response is tony blackburn seems not to understand the difference between garnish and seasoning yeah i, I was thinking that, yeah. When he was talking about his mashed potato cookery tips, which, by the way, I think was Tony Blackburn sort of secretly angling for a new career doing cuisine on television. Look, he's got all those hours in which he's not on the radio.

He must be like a couple of hours a week to fill still. I'd kind of watch that, wouldn't you, on Food Network? Blackburn's barbecue tips? Blackburn, Blackburn's, in which he just scorches stuff until it's inedible. I can imagine the tie-in book with a picture of tony wearing a chef's hat and an apron outside prodding a blackened sausage we can all imagine that yeah i don't think he'd like sausages because they contain more than one flavor which he seems to really be quite adamant against in fact a lot of sausages would contain nutmeg or mace he was really anti-nutmeg wasn't

he but yeah uh seasoning is uh very different to garnish. And Tony only really addressed seasoning, not garnish. And I think that just goes to show that although we make question answering look effortless, these noobs have a long way to go to be as expert as us. That's right, yeah. You can say a lot of things about Tony Blackburn, but he's certainly not a broadcasting veteran, not by long stretch. Leo calling from Southern California.

Responding to where the Dalai Lama stays from episode 299, I can tell you, I once stayed at the Sheraton in downtown Vancouver, British Columbia, and I had a room next to the Dalai Lama. It was an okay room, but it was in a corner.

It wasn't a plush, plushush room it wasn't on the top floor it was all right and the only reason i know that the dalai lama had the room next door is that as i was clumsily going into or out of my room i I bumped into the Dalai Lama and I knocked him onto the ground and then he apologised to me. Of course he bloody did. I think when you're the Dalai Lama, you're always on. It's a bit like being a Spice Girl in that respect.

If he'd turned around and said, watch where you're going, buddy, it wouldn't have been very in character, would it? Off brand. It's important to keep projecting brand Lama, I think. And also, I'm sure he's had worse than's important to keep projecting Bran Llama, I think. And also, I'm sure he's had worse than being knocked to the ground in a mid-level hotel. Actually, but it's nice, isn't it, to hear reassuringly

that it was, as we predicted in the show, mid-level. Four stars, you know, you'd put your gran up there, but you wouldn't necessarily say, well, head of state kind of place. Yeah, Imelda Marcos, come on in. Exactly. Bizarrely, we had quite a few of you. I suppose it's a

testament to the fact that our audience is growing and thank you for that but we can apparently talk about where the Dalai Lama stays and about four of you got in touch with various different hotel spots of the Dalai Lama of different ranges as well yeah presumably some of it is going to be geographically dictated whether an Dalai Lama appropriate hotel is available or not that's right because we heard from one person that he stayed in a mid-level hotel but in Mayfair where all the hotels are quite nice someone else said he stayed in what effectively sounded like an airbnb in redding um but um my favorite one is from damon uh who says back in 2002 i was working near stanford university in california one night a friend of mine and i

popped into our local sizzler that's a national chain of steak and salad bar restaurants apparently sounds sizzly yeah sizzling salads you've put your finger on a problem with the brand there i think immediately you don't want a sizzling salad do you if the salad is as important as the steak then you want a name that encompasses steak and salad it's all very alliterative as well sizzler steak and salad i mean you're going to spit a lot when you're describing the restaurant he continues in the back corner surrounded by quite an impressive entourage of Tibetan monks, I think we can guess who this is going to be, and it isn't going to be Kevin Spacey, was none other than the Dalai Lama himself.

My friend worked up the courage to go and speak with one of the university staffers with them and ask the obvious question, why would you bring one of the most famous world leaders into such a cheap restaurant? The staffer responded that it was the Dalai Lama's choice, as he had heard that their salad bar was quite inexpensive, and as his entourage were vegetarians, they knew they could get a quality meal at a very low price. See, Dalai Lama doesn't want to waste money on human indulgence when that money could go to more worthy causes. And also, unlimited salad bar, who doesn't love that more than almost any other thing? I think that is is probably true i'm saying that because i had my first ever experience

at a harvester yesterday oh well done thank you i wonder if the tibetan monks just sneaked a few honeyed bacon bits into their salad you would wouldn't you if llama didn't know about it you wouldn't even you wouldn't even want them if you were on that higher plane spiritually there must be a compromise though for tibetan monks going to a sizzler in that um yes it's vegetarian when you have the salad bar but it's a business built on steak number one number two also the ethics and i'm not saying anything against you the legal representatives of sizzler if you are listening um but the ethics of those kind of big corporations you know there are always question marks aren't they you know and if you're a monk you've got to really play safe i I suppose in America,

it's often quite hard to find vegetarian food at all, but you would have thought in the Bay Area, it'd be one of the easier places to find it. That's right, yeah. Why didn't they go to a nice Mexican and have vegetarian tacos? Oh, that's good, cool. Well, here's a question from Andy from Chelmsford in Essex,

and he says, recently someone got locked into a bookshop in London. Do you remember this? There was a man who was tweeting, so he was locked inside of Waterstones. Yes, it was the Waterstones on Trafalgar Square, I believe. And he was in there for a few hours one evening. I think it was actually only a couple of hours.

It feels like longer. He'd have been all right, though, because there's an in-store Costa there. There's toilets. So actually, yeah, you've got everything you need to live for a week. Well, Andy says, it got me thinking about what I would do if I was locked in a bookshop overnight. For instance, build a book fort, read like mad like mad correct the shelves as i bet they put series

in the wrong order did it really take a lot of thinking for you to think you might read like mad if you were locked in a bookstore surely that's everyone's first thought what's the one thing they would never think of it's actually a good point isn't it if you were locked in any other kind of store you'd have to take things out of their packaging but a book is designed to be taken off the shelf and you can read it casually you not feel guilty that you're using the stock because a lot of people must have fantasized about being trapped in a toy store when they're young but then all that blister packaging you need to take a tin opener with you just to get into the toys also being uh overnight in a branch of toys are us i think would be really creepy imagine a big warehouse it's dark the strip

lights aren't on they all come come alive. And there's giant Jeffrey inflatables everywhere. I mean, imagine you're at one end of the store and suddenly you hear a netball bouncing in aisle 17. It's the stuff

of absolute horror. I had quite a good time in what felt like overnight, but it was really just the time it took you to buy your parents some new garden lounges in John Lewis.

And I think it took about six to seven years for you to order them. And I sat in one of those sort of dangling wicker egg chairs that you can gently sway and bounce up and down in. I could have stayed in that for a long time. Yes, I think John Lewis Oxford Street would be a good store to be locked in because there's so many departments. Well, indeed, you can take your pick. Well, Andy says, because my brain likes to take things too far, I began to wonder which part of

my body I would eat if I was trapped in that. No, he says, I began to wonder which book of my body i'd eat if i was trapped in that no he says i began to wonder which bookshops i would like to be trapped in oh that is crazy talk andy simmer down so ollie answered me this what's the largest bookshop in the uk and in the world and just because i'm a nosy sir and so if you got trapped in a bookshop overnight where would it be that would never happen to you because you're never in a bookshop what would you do in a bookshop uh i do like reading enough that if i was trapped in a bookshop i would read you do in a bookshop? I do like reading enough that if I was trapped in a bookshop, I would read. I wouldn't be like, no, I'm a philistine.

They've probably got a rack of magazines that you could enjoy. They have picture books. They do stop porn and quiz and... In all seriousness, I don't think the size of the bookshop matters. It's what you do with it that counts. Exactly.

If you're going to be locked in one, it's better that... I'd like to be locked in one that specialised in film and TV books because that's what I'm interested in. Yes, lovely. Like showbiz biographies, that would keep me entertained overnight. I would like to be locked in one that specialized in film and tv books because that's what i'm interested in lovely like showbiz biographies that would keep me entertained overnight i would like to be locked in one that specialized in having comfy chairs where you can read the books for free like borders used to yes exactly that's important comfort is really really

important and the new branch of foils that they've just spent loads of money doing which by the way i think is the answer to his first question i think that is the biggest bookstore in the uk yes um i don't think that's a very comfortable vibe in there. Very sterile. It all feels like a big Ikea cupboard. Yeah. It's like, right, buy something and then leave, please. Do not sit. Exactly.

Not what you want from a bookstore. And the largest in the world, I believe, is the bookstore we've both been to, which is Powell's in Portland, in Oregon. That is the largest by shelf space. Okay. But the largest by area is Barnes & Noble on Fifth Avenue in New York. But I think shelf space is important because when you're talking about size of bookshop store you really mean what's got the most books in it so I still think my answer stands.

And actually Powell's is the one that I would choose to be locked in overnight because it's so bloody big that it would be the only way that I could have enough time to at least get my bearings in there. The other thing that's good about that bookstore is that they mix secondhand and new on the same shelves which I'd never seen in any bookshop before ever it's madness um like blackwell's in oxford also a good bookstore which i used to go to all their secondhand stuff's on the top yeah so they're like two separate shops whereas i really like the fact that in that bookshop you've got because that's what made it impossible for me to leave without buying a book yeah i wasn't just looking

at the new stuff i've then found books that i thought oh that's out of print if i don't buy it now i'm never going to get it. But also there's Wi-Fi in there. There's cake. There's a lavatory. There are gifts for when you're bored. There was a good cafe in there. I didn't get that far.

Good t-shirts. And therefore, I think even if you got sick of books, there would be plenty of entertainments to have. And also it's open late and opens up early-ish. So you'd get out without too much time in there on your own in the dark. There was a shop called the biggest bookshop in the World in Toronto, but it closed down this year. It was in an old bowling alley. Well, I suppose the thing that people want from bookshops nowadays is not actually just, you know, loads and loads of books,

but a sense of curation. I mean, you know, there's Amazon, isn't there, for loads and loads of books. Yes. But actually people want a sense of, if you walk through these shelves you'll find something interesting it's why bookseller quarry and crystal palace is the best and actually i would quite like to be locked in there overnight because i feel like he wouldn't mind if he came in in the morning and found me asleep on the floor i think you'd find that a little bit weird well i think you'd just be like oh there again i fainted in there once and uh that was all right so i'm

sure the sleep wouldn't be that much different also there's a window out to the street isn't there so you'd be able to ask for help or just sit and watch the world go by yes all the world going down westow street to weatherspoon yeah hello it's jimmy from harpenden and i know the answer is this uh the new pound coin coming out so what would your design be for the tails side of it? I think the only sensible choice really would be the Queen's arse. I'm surprised they've never gone for that before. I think it would show off the British sense of humour

and I think it would bring levity into every heads and tails decision. I would want it to be saggy, because what they've done with the face, if you've noticed in the new profile pic of the Queen, there are more jowls than ever before. Well, she's nearly 90. Yeah, but I... She's still looking good.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely think she is, but I appreciate that about the Royal Mint. You know, they don't completely shy away from the grim realities of ageing. I reckon they're going to put emoji on there. I think they're going to put that one which says, it's smiling, but it's got big fat tears coming out of its face, which whenever someone puts that on a Facebook post,

I think they're overreacting to whatever that post was. But my recollection of the backside of a coin is that the tails is a fairly abstract design. I mean, it varies quite a lot. They have thistles, they have feathers. Could you not have some sort of like atoms or buckyballs or things like that? What's a buckyball? It's a cage of carbon with 60 atoms.

It's an icosahedron. I did my PhD on it, Ollie. Why can't they have on the back of the coin Prince Harry playing naked pool in Vegas That would restore the economy wouldn't it I think you're taking tales a little bit too literally there If you've got a question Then email your question

To answer me this podcast At googlemail.com Answer me this podcast At googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty.

On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospecters. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. To interject, I have some very exciting news to share with you, and if you're going

Oh my God, she's pregnant! Check yourself. No, my exciting news is that I'm going to be making a new podcast, along with Answer Me This, not instead of Answer Me This. Judas. What? You've got a whole radio show every day. The reason why it's exciting, firstly, it would be all about etymology

and why we say a thing is called a thing. You know, those questions that come up quite a lot in Answer Me This. And I have unending enthusiasm for them. And secondly, it would be with a friend of the show, Roman Mars' podcast network, Radiotopia. If Radiotopia's current Kickstarterstarter campaign raises over four hundred thousand dollars because i am what is known as a stretch goal you're pretty expensive yeah all of that 400 grand is going straight to me listeners so if you want to finance me getting entirely gold-plated

then chip in no he's got this whole network of podcasts that are really bloody good like love and radio and uh strangers but they're paid for and now they want a little bit more money so that you can get a bit of results on the act yeah because who wouldn't want that right yeah it sounds like a good show is the theme tune going to be words by boyzone where do people go to donate to radiotopia so that this dream of yours can happen well i'll put a link on our website roman seems very tightly wound with the pressure of the kickstarter so just think i'm saving roman mars from an early grave if i give money to the kickstarter that's nice yeah and if i could interject at this point i see nothing from this deal so you know this is

not for answering this it's only benefiting me and people who like etymology if you want to hear more of helen talk about words by all means donate i might even do the same but but but really important if you're someone who's like oh i've been listening to answer me this for years and i've always wanted to pay back sit on that money will you Because one day we might ask for it. That's not now. One day we're going to do our own $400,000 Kickstarter and that's when we need you. Some of you crazy treasures donate to us

just out the goodness of your hearts. That's really nice. You get first dibs on my kidney if you ever need one. Here's a question from Sophie who says, as the daughter of an American art historian who specialised in many European painters, my family and I spent many summers in London in the late 80s and early 90s. One of the highlights of those summers was our yearly trip

to Madame Tussauds Rock Circus. I just came. To Rock Circus. No, I was just very excited about hearing the words Rock Circus again. About hearing a little girl going to Rock Circus. A few months ago, says Sophie, I considered going back to London for a trip with my husband and was crushed to see that the Rock Circus has closed. I'm not sure you should call it the Rock Circus. A Rock Circus. Just Rock Circus. I'm pretty sure that I think in some of the literature it's referred to as to

Swords Rock Circus, sometimes Madam Two Swords Rock Circus, sometimes just Rock Circus and sometimes Rock Circus Trocadero. But I never saw it referred to as the Rock Circus. Yeah, but give her a break. She's foreign. And she's also devastated. She is devastated. This is grief, adding that definite article.

This is a woman who knows she will never again see an animatronic Tim Rice guide her through the countercultural revolution. Well, Sophie says, although I'm a fan of the original Madame Tussauds, Ollie, oh, it's not the original Madame Tussauds, just called Madame Tussauds. And I've even visited the significantly less impressive Madam Two Swords in New York.

I think that probably is the actual title of that. My feeling is that nothing is as wonderful as the rock circus. That is right, Sophie. Live aid every 15 minutes. What could be wrong with that? Everything. Imagine if they had children in need every 15 minutes. You'd be screaming to be let out.

Answer me this. Did any of the three of you have the opportunity to experience the pure joy of Madame Tussauds Rock Circus? It's got the name right there. Including the rotating stage with terrifying animatronic musical figures. And do you have thoughts as to why it was not as successful as the other Tussauds attractions?

I'm guessing that Ollie has thoughts on both these things. I have none because I never went. Marty, did you ever go? I think I've been to Tussauds, but I don't remember going to Tussauds Rock Circus. You went to the Birmingham Tussauds, didn't you ever go? I think I've been to Two Swords, but I don't remember going to Two Swords. You went to the Birmingham Two Swords, didn't you, Martin? I went to the shitty one in London. It's just a big waxwork of Frank Skinner,

and then you're done. Just Lenny Henry. There's loads of famous people from the midlands. Ozzy Osbourne. Who else? Who did we say? Robert Plant. Robert Plant, yeah.

John Bonham. That's it, that's it. Tiffany, she lives in a paddock now. What about Abraham Darby? Thomas Telford. I feel like I need to explain what Rock Circus was. So Rock Circus was the best tourist attraction in the 80s and 90s for anyone under the age of 15, but particularly me.

Why? Because you know the thing that they always say about Tussauds, which is you get to kind of feel like you're ingratiating yourself amongst celebrities and you get to have your picture taken with celebrities right that's obviously sort of true but a they're waxworks so you know they're not the real thing and b if you're a kid they're not they tend not to be the people that you really want your picture taken with i.e ronald reagan not bothered right frank buff yeah but but two swords rock circus had eg jason donovan bros bros were there in fact i think jason donovan opened rock circus But Tussauds Rock Circus had, e.g., Jason Donovan.

Bross. Bross were there. In fact, I think Jason Donovan opened Rock Circus. Wow. And you could go and you could stand next to the dummies and have your picture taken with them as if you'd actually met them. And that's very cool. And also, presumably, they had quality late 80s hair and high-waisted denim.

Absolutely. But it got cooler, Helen. So you went what could be cooler you went into what was a fairly big exhibition but actually it's quite a small space in there it was in the london pavilion in the trocadero um so what they did because they realized i guess that if you just went around looking at all the waxworks you'd be done in about 20 minutes the first part of it you put on infrared headphones bear in mind this is the early 90s terribly excited very sophisticated and the infrared headphones had big aerials coming out of them so it looked futuristic

and cool awesome and you didn't have to talk to your relatives awesome and as you went up to each of the different waxworks so let's say billy idol you'd walk up to billy idol billy idol would start playing in your headphones oh my ollie how are you doing yeah it didn't it wasn't personalized but it would i i mean i still i was i loved it so much i still remember like what the narrator said i think it was paul gambaccini and the narrator said for example as you went up to um johnny rotten he doesn't like you at all just remember it so fondly this didn't happen at all when my mom took me to the whispering gallery in some paul's cathedral no i can imagine not um actually, if you get very close to some of those holy waxworks, I'm sure that you can hear them speak.

The big man doesn't like you at all. So anyway, the centrepiece of the early part of the gallery was live, I say live, obviously they're waxworks, but waxworks performing version of Live Aid. So from memory, Elton john was playing the piano and then an animatronic freddie mercury came out the inside of the piano and sang to you and so it was a good it was a good kind of 10 minute display um so it was great so you had some moving waxworks some stationary waxworks and as you went up to each one you learned about

rock music history from the 1950s until jason donovan when music had reached its perfection and would never be surpassed again. You know, I actually met Jason Donovan a few weeks ago. And how rocking was that? It was a bit weird because... So Jason Donovan and I were both attending the same charity event. No need to explain. We all know you're firm friends and he came round for tea.

And I felt so weird about that because I thought, wow, it's Jason Donovan and I and we're on some kind of equal level here. This is insane. That guy's been in Neighbours. Yeah, exactly. And in Kylie. But then, of course, because it was for children, the charity event, when we got there, kids haven't got a clue who either of us are, but certainly no idea who Jason Donovan is. And I suddenly thought, wow, that's so weird that an eight-year-old now has no more idea who Jason Donovan is than who Olly Murn is. That must smart for him more than you.

Although the parents in the office were fainting at the sight of JD and they seemed unmoved by me. Probably you. Can't help feeling we're drifting off the point. Indeed. When you finish Rock Circus and you got to what you thought was the end,

what eight-year-old Olly Mann thought was the end and thought would be the exciting bit, you'd already had your picture taken with David Bowie. And nothing could be more exciting than that. You get to the end,

you then sit in a theatre. I love to sit, even then. Oh, sitting's brilliant. I loved shows. Yep. Right? With your infrared headphones still on, you then watch a show in a theater i love to sit even then oh sitting's brilliant i loved shows yep right with your infrared headphones still on you then watch a show in a rotating theater which takes you through four different stages of rock music thinking about it now i suppose they were decades i think it started in the 60s ended in the 90s um and your guide is an

animatronic tim rice of all the people to choose. So cool. And then it starts and finishes with an animatronic recreation of the cover art of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band. Wow. And along the way you see Bruce Springsteen

live the Eurythmics with Dave Stewart popping out of Annie Lennox's head. Filth. She splits down the middle and Dave Stewart comes out the middle.

It's like Athena springing forth from Zeus fully formed. Yeah. Kiss, which actually I was always bored by. And then some 80s stuff. Oh yeah, Phil Collins doing the drum solo.

Amazing. With dry ice and everything. So as Sophie's asking, why would this go wrong when all the shit Madame Tussauds is go right? I've got a horrible feeling that actually they didn't update it soon enough. Well, it's difficult, isn't it, that?

Because trends change every few months. Yeah, well, sort of. Although, of course, the history of rock music decade by decade hadn't changed. But I suppose the problem is, whereas I was excited to see Jason Donovan in 1988, by 1999, kids, certainly not. Yes. And they hadn't updated it until then. So only two years before it closed did they actually bother putting some money into updating it.

And I think by then, if you haven't got the eight-year-olds interested they're not going to go back when they're 10 you're not gonna go back yeah so i think that was partly it and also i guess some of the people that they were immortalizing at the peak of their fame and obviously freddie mercury sadly no longer with us but some of those people were still around and making hits so you know the dummy they had of elton john michael jackson george michael tina turner by the 90s would have looked 20 years old and out of date. Except for Tina Turner. Because she had the same face and continues to have the same face.

Same legs, same hair, same dresses. So I think it was that. Gary Glitter was one of the exhibits so it definitely needed updating. So it was partly that. But also, I don't know, I think maybe they got done by the rents. I mean, nothing in that building ever seems to really work does it

always closes after a few years turning into a hotel now aren't they the trocadero oh they've taken so long yeah because no one really wants that and it must be a pain in the ass to develop it anyway we're getting into building rigs here but also do you think that by the early noughties there was just this idea that maybe celebrities were becoming more accessible anyways you didn't have to go and stand next to a wax version. I mean, you could see it happening with celebrity reality shows starting around then. Yes, I suppose also, it's odd to say now when you think that the kids love, I don't know,

One Direction and Justin Bieber and they're back into what you might call music again. But if you think about the noughties, actually, maybe that was a decade where songs went straight to number one without much effort and children had turned their backs on the sort of boy band girl band formula so actually who were they going to rock circus to see well would have gone for girls allowed wouldn't you i don't know as an eight-year-old whether you would have that's the

issue it's a pickle isn't it what eight-year-olds want out of wax but you know what there's all this talk of them rebuilding the crystal palace oh yeah i don't know what to put in it rock circus yeah it's not a bad idea it's well it's not a worse idea than whatever they are going to do i suppose the technology as well felt slightly more dated as the years went on i don't know i mean i i was devastated when it was closed because i i like the idea that i would one day take my children there but it's gone i think just once you've seen jurassic park the idea of going to town with a load of wax celebrities doesn't seem as exciting you want them raging around in their natural habitat a lot of you commented that in answer me this 300 you very much enjoyed hearing

josie long answer your question so for today's intermission we're going to pluck a little bit of answer me this episode 84 because way back in 2009 she came and did a whole episode with us that's right so it's one of many of our back catalogue that you can buy and support the show by doing so so thank you from answer me this store.com if you're a doctor once your patient dies are you allowed to play with their tits okay so there's about three questions here because the first question is would you want to second question is why would you want to? And the third question is, you children are never allowed to become doctors. You could get away with it. I think you probably, I think probably you take an oath that's kind of anti that kind of thing.

I remember thinking that when I was 14 as well. Like, you know, if you thought that I didn't think I'd really do it. But it's a fantasy. I think when you're that age and you can't really get any action that you think, well, if someone was asleep, if they didn't know, or like, you know, what if I saw a dead body? Then I could have a quick look. They wouldn't know. No one would know.

The whole point of fantasy is you're inventing it. You can do whatever you want. So in your fantasies, you could sleep with anyone. But you're just happily choosing a course. You'd go, well, I'm not going to go above myself. I won't choose someone to live with because they wouldn't be interested. So I suppose I can have corpses or dogs. Here's a question from Andrew in San Francisco who says,

I've recently moved to America and as I've been driving around, I've been noticing, I should probably drive on the right like everybody else. I've been noticing those signs that welcome you as you enter different towns. They're nearly always with the current population underneath, sometimes with three or four visible layers of stickers as the number has been updated. As is, you know, where it says,us population 1492 speak for yourself mate so helen answer me this how often are the population numbers on these signs updated and how accurate

are they but they're obviously not accurate they can't be updated every day for every baby that's born and every person that dies well also it's quite it's quite expensive it's apparently 500 to update them is it really yes presumably to, presumably to get someone out on a busy road with their stickers. Yeah. Get the stickers printed. How current is census data? They only do that every 10 years. Yeah, so the last census was 2010.

But the State Department of Administration issues annual population updates. The problem is that there's sort of mixed jurisdiction for the signs. So some of them are administered by the town in question and some of them by the Department of Transport transport and they don't necessarily get along so generally the town has to make a request based on a substantial change in population and they have to have made no previous formal requests in in the last five years really yeah if it's costing 500 to do it each time you don't want to be pissing around every time someone has a baby do you yeah sure but if you've got for example a big factory that's been built in your town

and suddenly you've had a wave of immigration... Yeah, or like Detroit, the population sank really fast. Yeah, that's something that I think is worth $500 to correct, isn't it? I don't think $500 a year would be... Unless you're a really, really small town, that would be totally fine. But also remember the problem that a lot of towns have several roads going in and not all of the signs have the same number on. Disastrous.

So you get a wildly differing population depending on which route you took into town. Okay, so it's not that you're just looking in your rearview mirror and thinking, fuck, 500 people have died since I drove in here. Yeah. It was the apocalypse. Presumably there is a digital solution to this, but the whole point of these signs, I think,

is to evoke a kind of small-town Americana from the days when actually people would, on the Pioneer Trail, go blazing along for miles before they found a place they'd never heard of before and digital culture doesn't really ring true with that kind of vibe. It's also a big town Americana where they're like, hey, you've not heard of our town.

We've got 600,000 inhabitants, so screw you. But I've not seen one with a digital sign that updates constantly. I guess it'd be depressing as well because every time someone died, it would go down by one. Yeah, but they could make it into a fun gamified event i haven't seen these population signs at nearly every town i've been to in the states which is loads given the road trips that we go on but

you do get a lot of signs saying the town's elevation which sometimes is useful when you're in the mountains but if it's like 200 feet it's really an issue but it's again i just think it's a way americans really like this idea yeah that every town has a thing that like civic pride like the water tower thing like most towns don't need water towers but even new towns that get built in america have fake water towers fake some of them wow yeah because it's you know your small town america has a water tower that's what it has and also at some point those water towers are going to become alive like evil tripods and start marching across the country as an evil army and also a thing that i've very rarely seen are those signs that you see in films where it's like you are now leaving colorado and there's this enormous billboard

most of those signs are pretty small and subdued some of them are downright ugly whereas for you if there was one that did say you are now leaving tunbridge wells that would be the most exciting carnival style sign in the world just be a picture of me flipping the bird out the back of a car well from American roads to a very British one here's a question from Robbie from Elon in Aberdeenshire who says like many proud Brits I sat and watched the Trooping of the Colour on TV Ollie answer me this why is the tarmac on the Mall red? Okay, so for people listening perhaps abroad who don't know what the Mall is... Or what Trooping of the Colour is,

I think it's just a bizarre ritual involving the Queen's henchmen having a little organised dance. Is it like a horse and soldiers walking about display? The Mall is the road from Buckingham Palace to, I guess Trafalgar Square-ish, doesn't it? It does, yeah. And it goes up past uh st james's park and uh the ica it is a ceremonial route well that explains why it's so straight and wide yeah

it was inspired by lots of other countries actually we didn't really have it as a ceremonial route believe it or not until like the 1940s did they copy from paris or something yeah exactly so other countries had these things where hitler for example where they'd go on big parades and they thought we've got to get me one of those those we won the war yeah we need somewhere for marathon runners to go up yeah so the mall was always there but they decided to paint it red and make it more of a ceremonial thing leading right up to Buckingham Palace painted to uh install a sense of national pride and and you know reaffirm the monarchy at the center of everything after the war I find uh my national pride is very much stirred by tarmac as much as anything actually if they hadn't used

synthetic iron oxide pigment helen you may not be proud to be british just think about that god damn it was it to coincide with when the queen got in yes more or less and the intention was to mimic a giant red carpet makes sense right but it's covered in dead leaves and stuff yeah well i think if they actually laid out a massive carpet That would have been felt to be a waste of money after the war You know, people still on rations Yeah, and then in the 90s they probably would have replaced the carpet with wood laminate Do you know why it's called the Mall?

No Now, this is interesting It is called the Mall because Charles II liked playing a sort of croquet-like game Pall Mall on the Mal. And in tribute to his liking of that game, they decided to rename what is now the Mal, the road by the palace, the Mal. Which is a bit like, you know,

renaming Mayfair after Mahiki, because Prince Harry likes it. Weird, isn't it? In the 90s I hired a 12-person web team To build and run my websites and realise my tech dream Then the dot-com bubble burst and I had to drown them in a stream Why didn't I just sack them? But now, thanks to Squarespace, you can do it alone

And build a lovely website for tablets or smartphone Enjoy it now, cos in ten years you'll be replaced by a drone. Just like Terminator 3. Thanks very much to Squarespace for supporting this episode of Answer Me This. And I've been having a jolly time using Squarespace 7.

Have you? Which is their new interface. So you can see what you're designing as you design it. I wondered why you were in seventh heaven. It's certainly not the seventh circle of Squarespace hell. Oh no uh thank you very much as well for everyone who is actually taking up the offer of a year's subscription to their service because if you do that you use the code answer you not only get 10 off but it's also a way of sending a message to the squarespace

overlords that you would like to see them continue to support our show which we appreciate indeed well here's a question from chris in hollywood uh he says immediately to preempt any conversation around this not that one uh the one in brum hollywood so much of the midlands is a mystery to me the only places i've knowingly been in the midlands las vegas and staffordshire are martin's parents house and and the Emma Bridgewater factory, which I think are not representative of the region as a whole. Anyway, I never knew there was a Hollywood in Brum, so thanks for educating me, Chris.

Yes. He says, Helen, answer me this. Why were the Chippendales called the Chippendales? Can I just say straight away, why is he using the past tense? The Chippendales still very much a going concern, I believe. Absolutely. Are we talking about the strippers? We are talking about the strippers, yes.

We're doing that. Yes, the Beefcake Dungeons strippers. Get your bow tie on. And when i loaded up their their website earlier they look the same as they did like i think their heyday was kind of early mid-90s but i laughed to see them you're in the room didn't i laugh you did laugh yes not with lust no pure mirth they're not my type of guys i guess i wonder if they ever were anyone's type of guys in the sense that that all of that baby oil is almost ironizing isn't it which makes it easier for the girls night out to have a laugh with than if it

was actually someone who was you know genuinely quite sexual animalistically exciting yeah and the thing about the chip does is that they've always had that built-in naffness yeah it makes a bit easier to go or go to on a hen do yeah i guess so and and they do seem to be sold far more at women than at gay men yes i noticed this when this when I was in Vegas, actually. There are a lot of male strip shows there. And all of them are marketed squarely at straight women. There's one called Thunder from Down Under. Of course. They fart. Which is interesting, isn't it? When you think, yeah, you would imagine the gay market would be big, but apparently not.

Maybe. I get so embarrassed at strip shows of any kind I've never been to one well I've been to like on stag do's I've been to strip bars and I just

can't enjoy it I mean aesthetically I occasionally will find one of the ladies attractive It'd be better on your own though wouldn't it rather than surrounded by your male friends

It would just be I honestly think it would be better on video Yes You know they're dancing around to Whitney Houston and they're you know

popping things out of their fannies and it's just a bit weird and what's weirder is they then sit on your lap and try and talk to you and it's just for money and makes you feel

dirty and soiled Maybe some people like that feeling Male strippers I mean I've never been to a male strip show but I've been in like my local Greek restaurant, weirdly. One of the brothers who runs the restaurant at Christmas time

when they have a lot of Christmas parties in will come in and do a strip tease. Oh God. And I've been in there like having, trying to have a normal sort of moussaka meal with my parents. There's this Greek guy in a thong. And you're like, drop them, drop them, drop them. Well, what's weird is obviously when it's a man,

the kind of like I was saying about the Chippendales, it's ironized somehow. Yeah. And it's all a laugh. Like the women are supposed to sort of squeal and shriek and have a laugh with it. Whereas when it's a woman, the men are supposed to be sexually aroused.

Yeah. But it's still just, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know. I don't have the appropriate face to deal with it. And it makes me feel incredibly awkward. Right. Well, maybe it's appropriate then that the sad truth about the Chippendales

is that they were called after the furniture because the club where they were set up, the guy who set them up thought, this club looks like it's got Chippendale furniture in. So they're nothing more than furniture. Isn't that awful? Wow. Oh, well, that's one interpretation.

I mean, most people who work as male strippers would be happy to be objectified. I mean, maybe that's the difference as well. to it, but I mean, they're animated unlike furniture. They're living human furniture.

Yeah. That's terrible. Maybe. I just think it's different when it's a male stripper. I don't think men are used to being objectified in society and being forced to be viewed that way.

For them, it's a novelty to be like, oh, there's a six pack. Yeah. Because women have that all too often. But anyway, there was a lot of darkness, actually, that I had not registered because it happened

when I was probably too young to know about the Chippendale murders and such scandals. What? Yeah. The Chippendales were set up by a man called Steve Banerjee and his partner, Bruce Nahin. Banerjee was eventually, he was charged with having enlisted somebody to plot to kill some former chip and dales dancers that he felt were a threat to the current chip and dales that were only a few years old and um apparently he also orchestrated the murder of his former choreographer and partner and also tried to have his current partner murdered what a bad apple then

he hanged himself in prison oh so uh didn't hold the franchise though extraordinary not very nice and and also the idea for the Chippendales in the first place as a nightclub promotional skit came from Paul Snyder, who was the man who killed his playboy playmate wife Dorothy Stratton because she was going to run off with the director Peter Bogdanovich.

So much death. Well, this all goes to show why we should all keep our clothes on. So I think this was a huge scandal in the early 90s, but beyond Mike N as a dorky teen in tunbridge wells but maybe that did dent the brand somewhat and make it seem less kind of shiny and fun and like hey ladies have fun when there's all this murder happening behind the scenes the other thing that strikes me is quite odd about the chippendales is their signature outfit is the bow ties and the dress shirt which actually is the very place you wouldn't expect to see a working class buff kind of car mechanic type thing you know basically an oxford drinks luncheon

i mean that's the outfit they're wearing isn't it like what they're playing on actually is beef cake yeah but then they dress up like boris johnson what's that about what what is that tapping into in the female psyche i wonder i feel like the absence of the shirt sleeves in front is of critical importance in this equation yeah for boris johnson to chippendale well here's another question about people who are objectified at work it's from carl on holiday in canada ollie answer me this is there a minimum cup size you must be in order to work as a waitress at hooters oh fantastic i've been waiting eight years for a question about hooters. Thanks. Questions about Hooters. I'm just curious, as Hooters is certainly not a place I'd pop into for a burger and nachos.

What about chicken wings? Let alone a coffee with a huge pair of tits in my face expecting a tip. After all, girls aren't really my thing. Everyone's always saying that about you, Carl. Carl the gay. We guessed it, Carl, from the font you chose to email us in. Yeah, I mean, you're the one objectifying the women here, Carl, by saying that they're just a huge pair of tits in your face i mean they're attached to a

woman yes but they are employed really in order to wear rather tit and leg revealing garb aren't they they are although look hooters has been going for a long time now so no one who's applying for a job there is under any illusion about what the outfit is they have to wear clue is in the name and actually in fairness to hooters i mean i'm quite defensive about hooters because i've been a couple of times with my girlfriend who genuinely enjoys being there as well because she loves tits no she just loves the sort of americana aspect of it like we wouldn't go to one if there was one in london but i have been to the hooters in some fun locations like beverly hills and fort lauderdale miami didn't you yeah and when you're in those places and they are genuinely sort of at a beach and serving margaritas and buffalo wings and there is a kind of good time spirit.

Yes, there is an element of sexual objectification. Of course there is. But it's an inclusive one. It's not. What am I trying to say? It comes from the look. Is it like saucy seaside postcard humour? Yeah, it's somewhere between that and page three. But what it isn't is pornography. And it definitely isn't a strip bar. Yeah, but you can be titillating without being straightforward pornography it can still be degrading to women yeah look there are degrees on a graph but what i'm just saying is actually compared to a lot of the influences in our culture now you go to hooters and it actually seems like innocent fun right it's inclusive there's lots of women they're eating and drinking if you were caught whacking off there you

get thrown out exactly there are men working there too it's just they're not the ones serving you what they wearing uh they are wearing, of course, a full three-piece suit. But also, there is a misconception that you need to have big whammers to work there and you don't. You have to have nice whammers though, don't you? Actually, no. You just have to be wearing the outfit. Yeah, but you can't

be out of shape, can you? Like, you couldn't be a size 20 and wear the Hooters outfit, could you? The only larger women I've seen there also have very large breasts. Otherwise, I couldn't be a size 20 in Weather Hooters outfit, could you? The only larger women I've seen there also have very large breasts. Otherwise, I haven't seen large women with flat chests, but I have seen shapely women with flat chests, and certainly it doesn't seem to be about the shape of your breasts as to whether you get a job there.

They couldn't legally do that, could they? I mean, I know it's a questionable business model, but they would get sued if they... Well, they have been sued, but they tend to win. I mean, they've been sued on the basis of discrimination because they employ hooters girls rather than boys what about men with moves rather than a selection won't anyone think of the moves um um i mean it is quite funny i mean because of that kind of legal hot water if you go on the hooters website and try and find out what their conditions of employment are and you look up what makes a hooters girl you would almost not

have any idea that there was anything about tits involved at all it says trained to excel in customer service hooters girls provide the energy charisma and engaging conversation that keeps guests coming back notice no mention about tits much more than just a pretty face not tits hooters girls have game that's what they go with hooters girls have game they're intelligent and attentive using their energy experience and personalities, not tits, to serve guests everywhere, to live in the moment with their tits and take a break from the outside world

where they don't see so many tits. It doesn't say anything about tits. And actually, in fairness, I think, you know, compare it to the men who stand outside Abercrombie and Fitch wearing virtually nothing and they are just there to be objectified. Actually, the women at Hooters, A, they of tips b they are actually serving you and c they do actually then engage you in conversation and they are you they're getting tips based on you know

whether they're fun people yeah but then they ought to be able to wear what they want to work and if what they want to wear to work is like dungarees and a big coat they should be allowed to do that I agree with you and I wouldn't set hooters up but i can't honestly pretend that it offends me and i'm not going to pretend to be offended just because i think it's an out-of-date business model okay well i've never been but obviously my critique of the establishment would be whether they brought me a proper cup of tea or they brought me a tea bag on the side of a cup of rapidly cooling water do they have real owls as well because that's what's on their logo i've seen that's what the business model is oh real owls i thought you said real what's on their logo yes good point oh real owls

i thought you said real ales and i genuinely don't know the answer to that yeah of an optic shaped like tit they had an airline for a while i think they did they have an airline they have a hotel now as well where uh vegas of course yes it's not gonna be mayfair is it well i don't know and dalai lama probably wouldn't stay there if it was probably their uh their salad buffet is excellent well listeners uh we have come to the climactic end of Answer Me This episode 301 but please do supply your questions for our next episode and all of our contact details are

on our website answermethispodcast.com where every Thursday that there isn't an episode of Answer Me This, Helen does a lovely blog post called Thursday Listening Party where she lists lots of things that you could be filling your ears with, sometimes featuring us, sometimes just things that we like.

Yep. And one of those things, remember, is the Media Podcast, which is a show that I present talking to power players from the British media scene who work in film and radio and stuff. Yeah. And it's available at themediapodcast.com. And please do remember to check out our sponsors, squarespace.com, using the code ANSWER if you buy it,

and to chip in a tiny bit of money to the Radiotopia Kickstarter. £1 would be very good, £5 would be five times as good. But wait, there's more. There's something that will make the end of this show five times better, your annual treat of a song from Martin. Yes, because Martin is not just that echoey man that talks about balls a lot. He's a multifaceted jewel

that also makes beautiful music. Don't you, Martin? Yeah, I do. Thank you. This is a song from my new album. The album is called Through Intermittent Rain and it's available at martinaustrick.bandcamp.com. And I'm not asking for any money. Just download it, enjoy it, pay what you want

and you can put zero in that box. So Martin, tell us about your song. It's a song called You're No More Than A Mile From The Beach. It's about oil. I hope brilliant oil is because you can make lots of cool stuff with it and it's really silly that we burn it and it's about a sensible that's taking computers and smashing them up

so that you can make a beach from the silicon. It's not something you hear in all of your top 40 hits. Computers from our homes and offices Stamped down on the mangrovely Until their circuits buckled Warped and split Like a Jacob's cracker Their brains crumbled in our hands So we took all of these microchips Thank you. June's in the Thames Estuary From Parliament to Essex

They're the only thing That's holding back the sea You can go there sunbathing People do, they come for miles around You can't quite see the ocean But you can hear the waves As they're crashing down We got all of the aspirin and we ground it down To make fake silver linings for artificial clouds

To spruce up gala openings of large sporting events Where the thousands congregate to shout inside a tent And cry We'll be right back. So sports are very popular Because everyone has headaches all of the time All the fiber optics were melted down to make a giant Martini glass We built a paper forest With books for trees And newspapers for grass People walk among the inky leaves

That once upon a time were words And occasionally these bugworms will be carried off by old zealous birds That and constant headaches are the only natural houses there will be In the city of the future Thank you. From the beach From the beach