Answer Me This! - AMT311: Buddha, Starbucks and the Hollywood Walk of Fame

Episode Date: April 2, 2015

Today we learn the topless past of the Starbucks logo, how you get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and the cost of installing a bowling alley in your house. Find out more about this episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode311.Send questions to [e-mail], or the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis)Tweet us twitter.com/helenandollyBe our Facebook friend at facebook.com/answermethisSubscribe on iTunes iTunes.com/AnswerMeThisBuy old episodes and albums at answermethisstore.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are all the Zane lookalikes now out of a job? Answer me this, answer me this You said you'd get me a steak, can I punch you in the gob? Answer me this, answer me this Helen and Ollie, answer me this We've had some very exciting news at Answer Me This I say we, it's mainly exciting for Ollie But it's exciting for me because

I'm not looking at him looking like a miserable dead man for once. It's exciting for the whole of Britain, Helen. Yes. That I have been relieved of my duties on the overnight show on LBC, the radio station I work for. Relieved of your duties makes it sound like you've been fired. Yeah, whereas in fact I've been, well, some people would call a weekend show a sideways move. I'm very much considering it a promotion because I don't have to stay up all night. Yay, and you don't have to go out on the weekend either. i've got an excuse to get out of parties and i have some more

free time so yes i'm now uh going to be on at the weekend on friday nights from 8 till 10 p.m and saturday nights from 6 30 till 10 p.m which is marvelous news because uh it seemed like working in the middle of the night is quite a hard gig slowly destroying me from the inside not that slowly yeah it was you were very far from your happy-go-lucky normal self and you remarked i can't judge this but you remarked helen that i've already i mean this news only broke on friday you're practically bouncing off the walls i have already returned in my tickerish states hello birds hello trees hello sky it was i mean today was the first day that i actually got up and saw the daylight and i i was

like nosferatu basically i'm enjoying it it feels like spring i'm very relieved for you and the listeners should be relieved too because now you can listen to my lbc show even if you're not an insomniac or a weirdo absolutely if you're just the kind of normal person that doesn't like to go out on friday or saturday night 8 p.m on a friday yes and not watching something on telly yeah but i think a lot of listeners would have the following question. Ollie, answer me this. Is answer me this going to go back to being weekly?

Fuck no. No. And we're strongly agreed on that. Yeah, listeners, let me lay down some truths. As wonderful as making this show is, and it's an absolute joy to have you listen to it,

when we were doing it weekly, it was pretty much destroying my life in a financial way as well as partially a spiritual way. We spend three days a week making each episode and when you're doing that i didn't have enough time to find work and do the work in order to have enough money to live it's not just that it's also a lot of this show relies on our rapport yes and having things to say to each other yes and when we were seeing each other every

fucking day and forced to see each other every week it was just uh harder wasn't it this is easier it's easier it's we've almost become real friends again, listeners. We wouldn't want to destroy that. We wouldn't go that far. No. But I take a passing interest in what you're up to. Well, we have more things to say to each other because two weeks have passed for us to collect things to say. So anyway, I'm very happy to have the normal Lolly man back. Thank you.

And I hope that Coco and your girlfriend are happy to have you back too. For different reasons, yes. Hi, Helen and Ollie. this is Kiki the Bell. So I've been home from the gig and I was just in a house that had a bowling alley in the bottom part, basement, whatever you want to call it, and a bar.

But it had a bowling alley. Helen and Ollie, answer me this. How much would it cost me for a bowling alley in my house? It's interesting how more excited she is about the concepts of the bowling alley rather than the bar, because the bar is more common. But actually, I think a bowling alley in your house, bowling is something you can play alone. Yes, that is true. Drinking alone, just depressing.

Don't need special equipment to drink alone. A bar doesn't need to be there, does it, to facilitate your drinking? Maybe it legitimises it. I think a bar only comes into its own at a party, whereas a bowling alley, people say that about bowling alleys, but actually, as I say, a solo game of bowls improve your skills. Let's face it,

how often are you going to use your in-house bowling alley, really? Isn't it quite noisy? Wouldn't it be pretty noisy? Well, you've touched upon one of the many issues when you're pricing up what this costs, actually. Why would it be noisy? The clanging, the banging? There's a lot of energy, though,

when you're throwing a huge bowling ball onto this wooden surface. It just clack, clack. Yeah, but if you're in the basement, then it's not coming through your ceilings, is it? Well, yes, but it might be coming into next door's basement, for example. If you live in a posh area of Chelsea or something

and someone else has got their sitting room in the basement, that's going to cause an issue with the neighbours, isn't it? So soundproofing is one of the things people need to think about. Also, just the sheer length of the thing. I know you can get ones that are smaller and that are designed for residences. But yeah, if you're going to have a

bowling alley in your home, it's a bit like people who have screening rooms in their home. It's just like a big television with two armchairs. Exactly. I mean, if you're going to do that... That's fine for me. No, I disagree. I think if you're building a screening room in your house, make a theatre there. Not a big one, but make seats for,

so that you can have 15 people to come around. Put in a popcorn machine. Yeah, exactly. Like with bowling, you have to change your shoes to someone else's sweaty shoes, just on principle. How long is the full-size bowling lane? A hundred foot of open length is what's necessary. Oh, a hundred feet.

Yeah, and you also need 10 foot clearance up ahead as well. Okay. But if you are the kind of person that can afford to have a bowling alley in your basement, then it's possible that you have a 100 foot basement maybe? Yes, quite possibly but it still of course is going to change the price whether you are excavating an extant

site or whether you are creating a new build home. A lot easier if you're creating a new build home to put a bowling alley in there. You could have one running through the basements of all the adjoining houses and you shared it. That would be amazing. That's a really nice idea, actually. Great idea, terraced home bowling.

Yeah. You know, actually, if you all pitched in together on the street, you know, maybe everyone in the street could afford it. Well, that's like Milton's Music Hall in London, isn't it? That used to be a load of terraced houses. Some guy just knocked it through and made this amazing theatre. Really? Not whilst people were actually still living in it, though.

But anyway, the straightforward answer to the question is around 200 grand in pounds in pounds but of course that's an estimate because it depends what trimmings you're getting uh if you're going for for example personalized pins if you're going for the state-of-the-art brand new equipment that's more expensive but actually you might think well why would any playboy not want the personalized pins and the state-of-the-art equipment answer is vintage very in at the moment. Yes. So you might choose a retrofitted 1950s recycled bowling alley, which is actually cheaper.

Or an 80s one with that kind of pixelated animation when it does your scores on the screen. Yeah. That 200 grand, does that include a lot of building work? Or is that, if you have the ideal space already, that is how much it costs to get a bowling lane put in and the grabber thing? I'm building the average cost from having looked on various websites,

converted from dollars to pounds and seen the kinds of costs they quote depending on the style of bowling lane. I don't even know how much a bowling ball is. Well, this is it. So once you've got the lane, you need, as you say, the shoes, you need the balls,

of course you need the machine, but then there's things like lane wax, stuff that you just wouldn't even think about. Never factor in the lane wax. Never the lane wax. But you need lane, I think about the lane works um but you need lane i think it's called lane oil actually they call it in the states but anyway you need that applied quite regularly like twice a day on a bowling alley that's used regularly so if you only use it once a week that's still you still you probably need a professional to come and maintain it's like

having a fish tank you could wear those duster shoes and douse them in bowling lane oil and just skate around so it'd be like having your own little ice rink as well well anyway kiki let us know if you choose to install one send us some pictures she didn't sound to me like she was really going to do it i think she's hoping we would say oh you can get them for 40 quid from argos no i think what she was doing is is she was boasting to us really that she's been invited to a sort of plush house and then she wanted to know for sure what kind of money does this guy have all right unless you move in and it's already there well and that actually is probably a great way to get a cut price bowling alley isn't it yeah if you can afford like on millionaire's row one of those houses that's

been completely done up and then actually for whatever reason people don't want to live there the house values go down or whatever the mortgage collapses their company goes bankrupt and you can just buy it including the bowling alley might be a great great solution well it's probably just cheaper to pay however many pounds it is to go and do an evening of bowling every two years which about as often as you'll probably actually use it here is a question from paul who is 35 and from manchester paul says ollie answer me this which came first the 1982 gregory isaac's classic lovers rock song or the gsk cold and flu medicine i I need to know. He's talking about night nurse. Night nurse.

You're my nurse and you come at night. Is that how it goes? No, but it's basically that, isn't it? The version that I'm singing really is the Simply Red cover from the 90s because that got a lot of airplay when we were kids. Terrible, wasn't it? Wasn't it awful growing up in the age of Simply Red?

Any covers of reggae are terrible. Like Red Red Wine is another one. My God, every time I hear that song, I feel physically sick. I mean, apart from obviously the bit where he goes, Oh, Red Red Wine, it make me feel so fine. That's good. How can you say that Sugg's cover of Cecilia with Luchalu and Michi One is inferior? I stand corrected.

That's better than the original. No, it's a good point. Anyway, yes, Night Nurse the song Was from 1982 Night Nurse the medicine I suspect Is from a similar era Oh really

But it is almost impossible To find a date for it Well by almost What I mean is I've spent half an hour Power googling I can't find out Oh no

No I can't find anywhere The year that Night Nurse First hit the shelves And GlaxoSmithKline Haven't got a Night Nurse museum yet Not yet So I can't actually answer Which was first but the crucial issue I think is that both the song and the medicine were named after an extant term so it sort of doesn't really matter which came

first it's not as if the medicine was a tribute to the song or the song a tribute to the medicine did they use the song on adverts for the medicine no because that would be implicitly suggesting that taking the glaxo smith klein uh essentially harmless blend of paracetamol antihistamine and cough suppressant was in some way analogous to taking people suggested the song was about marijuana because gregory isaacs was a rastafarian but he did die from complications from crack cocaine so in either case it's not really you know as a drugs company you wouldn't really want to make that link with your product so he was singing about a very different kind of medicine um it's not a drug it's a pharmaceutical exactly whereas the pharma company i think weren't for that reason referring to his song if they did come afterwards they were

referring to the extant term night nurse which basically means someone to help you get through the night as an actual person to get you through the night and there was extant term night nurse which basically means someone to help you get through the night as an actual person to get you through the night and there was a film called Night Nurse quite a high profile film in the 1930s I think so you know it's something from popular imagination there were songs called Night Nurse like sort of twee ones from the 50s

before Gregory Isaacs came along and reggae'd it up okay yeah I think there's a link that goes back as far as Florence Nightingale quite possibly yeah maybe that's what Gregory Isaacs was actually singing about. Here is a question from an anonymous man who says, whilst browsing the web for various images...

Oh, really? I stumbled across two pictures... Two pictures? ...of a man sporting an impressive erection. That's right, stumbled across. Tripped, fell, landed on his dick. It's quite extraordinary. I only need to stumble across two of those.

Yeah, that's right. I've been trying. Upon looking at his his face a sudden shiver went down my spine and not in a good way not your type i am a hundred percent sure that the man in the pictures is the boyfriend of a friend of mine oh okay i have no idea if she is aware of the images or when they were taken but they look professional well well they look. I think that is hard to tell these days. Oh, because you can do some very good things at home with filters. I mean, we're not professional. Listen to this.

Have you seen the Tumblr critique my dick pic? That's very educational. It's the correct composition of dick pics. I strongly recommend it. It's humorous and very body positive. It's definitely mildly NSFW. Depending on where you work. Ollie, answer me this.

Should I tell my friend about the pictures? Why would you do that? If it turns out not to be her boyfriend, it's embarrassing. But if it does and she doesn't know, I don't know what might happen. They've been together for a good few years and I don't want to ruin anything. Yeah, well keep your mouth shut then. She might have taken the pictures. Exactly. This is reminding me a little

bit of that question we had a few weeks ago where someone had stumbled upon his colleague on Tinder and was wondering whether to confront her about this because she's in bit of that question we had a few weeks ago where someone had stumbled upon his colleague on tinder and was wondering whether to confront her about this because she's in a relationship it's not necessarily the case that these things are without the uh current partner's acquiescence exactly it's not your role sherlock that said uh there is this thing now where people snapchat each other or you know do google hangouts where they do a bit of Willy Hangout. And someone unscrupulous either hacks that information or the person you're conversing with takes a screen grab.

And that ends up on porn sites. So in a way, you could be doing a public service by pointing it out because I suppose he could get in touch and say to the person who's running the Tumblr you were looking at, can you please take this away? If he didn't know it was up there, if he didn't actually agree for that to be transmitted. But then on the other hand that would be talking to him not talking to her i don't see what is to be gained by talking to her but also as you point out anonymous man

you don't know when they were taken yeah as long as he's legal in them it's fine isn't it yeah i think that's basically right also it could be embarrassing for him even if she does know about it because you know when people do porn when they're younger if they were taken a few years ago especially in an era before kind of smartphones and tablets people kind of thought well i'll do it for this professional porn site no one will or even porn mag of is that old no one will look at it unless they're paying for it and especially if he's a man it was probably for a gay site if he's straight he probably thought well none of my girlfriends are ever going to see this.

So it is quite embarrassing that it's still on the Internet. Or not embarrassing. Or not, but it could be. You know, I know a guy who, as a favor for a friend of his, had a headshot done for a stock photo agency. He's quite a good looking guy. And it was just his face and he was just smiling. And the other day it was on Facebook. Someone had actually screen grabbed a picture of it because it was in a leaflet in the doctor's

surgery they were waiting in proper joey tribiani face of vd situation but happening in real life yes and it was someone said is this you advertising bleeding gums disease and he had to say uh yeah that's me 10 years ago i did a stock photo and i don't have any control over where it goes and about 500 people liked the photo. That's really hilarious. And he was humiliated all over again. But that was for bleeding gums. If it was him with his dick out,

advertising bleeding gums, I mean, it'd be very embarrassing. I think the case would be a bit different if it didn't look like these photos were taken with his knowledge or consent. But if they are professional and he looks like he's fully aware of the process, then I think you kind of have to leave it up to him

as a consenting adult. Or you could just save it as your screensaver and leave it lying around and see if she notices good point yeah we'll make her a birthday card for the one get in one of those apple calendars yeah just say to her look i saw these online i thought they looked a lot like your boyfriend yeah photoshop a little bunch of lanes onto the end of his penis. If you've got a question, email it in. To Martin the sound man, Holly and Helen. Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer this podcast at googlemail.com So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty.

On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts.

Question from Simon in Bolton, who says, Jim Parsons, of Big Bang Theory fame, recently received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Not that Jim Parsons doesn't deserve recognition for his work in television, stage and film, but I had always thought the stars were for megastars and or served as a Lifetime Achievement Award. Parsons is still a pretty young actor so his

best work may well be yet to come indeed yeah is this is this an official representative of jim parsons tell me i'm not over exactly simon has a galaxy of questions about the hollywood walk of fame the first which is only answer me this who decides who gets a star on the walk of fame there is a selection committee. Yeah, but it's all like publicists, isn't it? It's top secret. Yeah, but there are a lot of people whose work doesn't really deserve one, but money has been thrown at the exercise.

Well... Come on. Okay, the way it works on the surface is that you have to suggest, and by you, I literally mean you, if you want to nominate someone to have a Hollywood Walk of Fame star, you can. Fans can, anyone can. Oh my god, now I know why i'm getting him for your birthday but it has to be someone who demonstrably has worked in film i think it's film theater tv or performance and they introduced the category of performance to allow um for like circus acts and stuff like that it can include fictional

characters mickey mouse has a star no tinkerbell has a star um but uh they've stretched it to include muhammad ali uh because he counted as performance for boxing so you know what are they saying about the purity of boxing as a competitive sport it's a bit elastic basically but if someone's famous enough then you can put them forward in one of those categories there isn't one for podcasting so no point nominating us performance yeah sort of what about our visit britain videos on youtube so anyway they have to have basically worked in the hollywood entertainment industry then you put them forward for a star um they get 200 applicants per year the selection committee it's not that many not that many because i imagine it's quite a laborious process actually filling in the form

and saying why someone should be nominated even if uh the nominees are chosen by the selection committee as one of the roughly 24 stars a year that they give out so you've got over 10 chance of getting yeah one and one posthumously as well so they give a star every year to one person who's dead and usually about 23 people who are still alive so once they've approved the nominations chosen their final list then it needs to be approved by their management now that is where we get into the scenario of you saying it's all a bit of an inside job um there is a consultation process going on with the management the management don't want it they don't do it because you have to turn up for the unveiling of your own star on the walk of fame so what do you do if you're dead well obviously sprinkle your ashes on it if you're

dead then they bring your kids along or whatever right um but that's why they don't have too many for dead people if you're alive you've got five years from the time at which they've given you the nomination and approved it to turn up and have a ceremony the ceremony costs you thirty thousand dollars oh okay so why would you nominate yourself then have your management go i'm not sure they want to do it if you weren't already prepared for the thirty thousand dollar cost yeah well and to have it presumably you want it if you've applied for it well you've you've put your finger on it answer because you're so famous so if you're hugely famous if you're clint eastwood who is someone who still doesn't have a star on the hollywood walk of fame right someone is going

to walk down every day and say where's clint eastwood star let's nominate clint eastwood and every year the nomination comes in he's like I don't want to start so he says no and therefore it never happens um so that's the thing that's going on so there are 24 new stars a year on average there's not I don't think there's an upper limit but on average it's 24 a year do you know when they started doing them I do they started in 1956 uh the first eight stars were unveiled to Olive Borden, Richard... Love her work. Ronald Coleman,

Louise Fassenden, Contender. Preston Foster, Burt Lancaster, heard of him, yeah, right. Edward Sedgwick, Ernest Torrance, I have heard of Ernest Torrance,

but I don't know why. So half a recognition point there, probably involved in some sort of sex scandal. And Joanne Woodward. Okay. And the original committee included Samuel Goldwyn, Walt Disney, Cecil B. DeMille. They should have just given each other an award. Someone people had heard of at the time but wasn't included, Charlie Chaplin.

Has he got one now? He's got one now, but in 1959, his son, Charlie Chaplin Jr., actually sued the selection committee because it was so obvious in an omission that his father should have been included. Now, I know that actually you look at it now and factually, yeah, because we've only heard of Burt Lancaster, we would have heard of Charlie Chaplin. They were probably right that Chaplin should have been there.

Was he a bit out of favour in the 50s? He was a lefty. Yeah, he was a communist, wasn't he? Yeah, you wouldn't get the likes of Goldwyn and Disney thinking, hey, that Chaplin fella, he's a good guy. Highly McCarthyism as well. But also, how did his work go after the likes of goldwyn and disney thinking hey that that chaplain fellow he's a good guy mccarthyism as well but also how did his work go after the introduction of talking films oh i think people still admired his craft didn't they yeah but presumably he wasn't getting as many yeah yeah sure i mean of course but and you're right there's always an

element of recognizing the people who are currently commercial and i guess that brings us back to jim parsons in big bang theory It's an extremely popular sitcom. You know, it is important that they recognise things that are popular as well as things that are critically acclaimed. It's the same argument with the Oscars, isn't it? You know, no one's actually saying Big Bang Theory is necessarily going to be remembered in 50 years' time, but what they are saying is right now on the planet of things that are made in Hollywood,

that's probably one of the most popular things. So, you know, that's what they're recognising. It is a business town, isn't it? It's business. Like I was saying, it's a commercial thing. But Chaplin didn't get one until 1972. 24 a year for nearly 60 years. That's a lot. It is.

Can't do the maths right now. It's over 2000. That's a very long stretch. And Simon says, Olly Antemiris, are they all in a row? And if so, where do they stretch to and from? Well, Hollywood and Vine is the address, isn't it, famously? And it's on Hollywood and Vine, both roads.

It's a sidewalk and it's a bloody long road. It's a really long road. They're going for long roads there. Long roads. Why bend if you don't have to? Yeah, it probably comes out somewhere in Mexico. So I don't think they're going to run out of space, if that's what you're worried about.

I've got a star, but it's the other side of the Sierra Nevada. Exactly. And they've doubled up. So if you've ever been there, and I have, you've got stars going so that as you walk along, they're facing you with their names top to bottom. But then adjacent to that, there are another set of stars going bottom to top.

So if you walk in the other direction, you could read those. So you have to do one up and one down? Yeah. Well, you don't have to, because you'd be mad to spend the whole day walking up and down the road looking at the pavement but if you're very vigilant tourist very committed to it yeah so they're not going to run out of space and there are more than 2 000 of them sofia lorraine was the 2000th in 1994 okay so they're loads since then because now they seem to have ceremonies all

the time they have two a month yeah hence 24 a year on average yeah um which is pretty good money isn't it 60 grand a month which goes towards preserving the street oh is that what happens with the money yeah well just like filling potholes well well it goes towards uh keeping the area part of historic hollywood which is important because it was a right old shithole in the 80s it's got better since because they've started having the oscars there again haven't they and they've done up the area a bit and i think in the 70s and 80s there was a feeling that Hollywood wasn't old Hollywood cool it was just old was any reason why they started I think the original idea was to preserve the area and market as a tourist destination um because right from the beginning you could always kind of

um if not go on tours of the studios uh there was always a tourist element to come to Hollywood is where the stars make the films and then you can see some literal stars you can walk where the stars make the films. And then you can see some literal stars. You can walk on the stars. It was a way of encouraging tourism to California. And, well, it worked because millions of people go to it still every year, even though it's basically a street. But the original idea was said to come from the ceiling of the restaurant in the Hollywood Hotel, which had, just as a decorative gimmick, had stars on the roof with the names of stars in the stars,

which was probably their attempt to try and get those stars to go to the restaurant. Right. It's a shame they didn't use as inspiration the Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo, which has got, like, terrifying doll and lots of pink bows and flowers and stuff on the ceiling. Yeah. I don't think that would have taken off as an international destination. Different, just very different. It is different.

But a cost of only $1.25 million to build originally. I know in the 50s that was a lot more money. But yeah, to commission the idea of a pavement, a row of stars. Seems like a lot for a pavement. Yeah, but you've got architects designing it. You've got to make sure people can walk over them, that they're robust, that the materials work, that the committees are established,

that people have got their backhand and the mafia are taken care of. I think $1.25 million for what it's generated is pretty good. I bet they've got a good proofreader as well. Well, you say that, although they have had some spelling errors. i think dick van dyke rather embarrassingly uh not dick van dick but uh he was penis van dyke i think it was dick v a double n or something that they put originally had to change it that's not as good as the typo that was on my grandmother's

gravestone it's not have you shared that with the listeners before i'm not sure i have it's worth saying again even if you have it was a typo on my grandmother's gravestone. It said something like, remembered with fondness by her family and friends. But that takes a very different gloss when you leave the R out of friends. Family and fiends. Which is what the stonemason did. Amazing.

Amazing bit of trolling. It is. And it was almost acceptable to be funny because she was so old when she died. She was 98? She was 99. 99, yeah. Just short of the ton. I mean, she'd be laughing if she knew that the when she died which is 98 she was 99 99 just short of the ton i mean she'd be laughing if she knew that the gravestone said that or would she she was quite serious yeah i'm not sure she's that kind of sense of humor but i i certainly

thought it was the funniest thing i'd ever seen i'd almost request it now i know about it yeah yeah any any other thing would have just looked like a little blooper whereas that looked deliberate they thought my parents had done it deliberately it's the last act of defiance. Anyway, Simon has another very good question, I think. He says, Ollie, answer me this. Do they ever retire them? For example, if a star becomes disgraced for some reason? Not to my knowledge. People do deface them quite regularly.

So Bill Cosby was the most recent. Of course. So Bill Cosby's star was defaced in December. Someone actually wrote rapist on his star. But it was cleaned up and it's still there. I think it's easier to clean it up than to put a little asterisk going, allegedly. It's probably easier to just clean it. You know, they had to get rid of Nick Drake's gravestone

because people were vandalising it by trying to steal bits of it to take home, like chipping off bits of gravestone. So now he doesn't have one. That's a shame. That is a shame, I thought. Although, I mean, I'm not bothered. You can do what you like to my gravestone. Yeah, you won't be there to see it, but I think it's family-minded. Yeah Although, I mean, I'm not bothered. You can do what you like to my gravestone. Yeah, you won't be there to see it,

but I think he's family-minded. Yeah, I guess my family would be, yeah, don't do what you like to my gravestone because my family would be upset if you're listening in 70 years' time. But if you piss on it, it'll help the flowers grow. Yeah, I guess. Well, you touched on Simon's next question earlier,

but he says, only answering this, has anyone ever refused to have a star? Julia Roberts has been nominated multiple times and said no every time. Why, I wonder wonder the sort of tabloid presentation of it is she doesn't like the idea of people walking over her but i think really she just can't be asked to go to the ceremony and doesn't want to it's a bit naff isn't it she lives in new mexico it's a bit of a hassle and then you get some people who say yes but then they don't turn up within the five-year period they have from saying yes to actually pay their thirty30,000 and do the ceremony.

That's like me with my free masters from Oxford. But some of them have good reasons. John Denver died before he turned up for his. I think as so often in Hollywood, the example to turn to for a real laugh is Barbara Streisand, who said yes, said she'd turn up to the event and then just didn't bother. So she has a star, but she couldn't be asked to go to her own star ceremony. So I wonder what they did when they were like, Streisand's not here, but we need someone doing the ceremony.

Let's get Lea Michele on or someone. Any drag queen on the Walk of Fame, actually, who's hustling there could do a passable Streisand. I think Bette Midler could do a passable Streisand. The best thing is when people leave their floral tributes to the wrong star, because there are two Michael Jacksons for example one of whom is still alive and is a radio host

and there were a lot of cards and teddy bears left on his star when he was still alive and there are also two Harrison Fords as well what does the other Harrison Ford do? the other one is dead, the other one is a silent movie star that everyone's forgotten about

if you're a fan of Indiana Jones make sure that you're taking your picture at the right harrison ford so does it have like a birth date or something on it so you can narrow it down no it just says the name originally the plan was to put a little caricature in the star design that's a good idea in a way but then caricatures date ever so would have dated so quickly no one would be able to recognize who it was unless it was chaplin you You'd get his caricature, wouldn't you? Should have got Helen Daniels to do portraits of them all. How have you managed to get a Neighbours reference into this conversation about the Hollywood

Walk of Fame? You are welcome, because they should all be on there. If Carl and Susan aren't on there the whole thing is a sham. You deserve a star for your contribution to entertainment for doing that. Ladies and gentlemen, we proudly present The intermission brought to you today by episode 56 available now at answer me this store.com what is it exactly that meat won't do for love oh that old chestnut in the lyrics of the song um it i it's made fairly clear that it's cheating that he won't do,

because the lady says, will you say that it's time to move on? Sooner or later you'll be screwing around. And he says, no, I won't do that. It's quite specific. She does go, will you stick your man in my visitor's hole? And he goes, no, I won't.

Will you pick your clothes up off the floor before bed? I learnt an interesting factoid about what meat won't do for love, given that he seems to be so amenable to most suggestions. Absolutely, yeah. I read that in his cameo in the film Spice World, Meatloaf is asked to fix a toilet for the Spice Girls. He declines, saying that he would do anything for them, but he won't do that.

But he won't do that. Very good. Yes, that was a funny moment. But then I heard this crackpot theory from your flatmate Matthew Crosby who says that

in the song right he says I'll never forget the way I feel right now oh no no way and that's what he won't do

forget the moment of how he feels it's obviously not about that isn't it you wouldn't sing about that for seven and a half minutes don't be shy listeners please do call in

with your questions you can dial the following number or you can skype answer me this and let's hear who's been in touch hi this is pierre living in london i was just on an overground train and when we stopped at Whitechapel, they said, oh, I'm here for the Royal London Hospital. Helen and Ollie, answer me this. Firstly, who of all the people that need to get treatment at a hospital takes the overground? And secondly, how do they decide what to include in the little announcement that the voice makes? I'm perplexed.

I would go to hospital on the overground. I went for surgery on public transport. You're not allowed to go home from surgery on public transport. But also you can go to hospital on public transport for lots of reasons. To work there, for a test, for a visit or something like that. Yes, to visit a friend. And of course, I mean, the announcements, what we were talking about here is when you were on trains,

public transport buses as well now. The next station is Whitechapel. Please alight here for the Royal London Hospital. I go through Whitechapel quite a lot, so I understand what Pierre's talking about. That was pretty good, and you're fishing for voiceover work expertly there, I thought. I can say all of the words as if they have been spliced together.

Wouldn't that be brilliant if in the voiceover session they actually had to do it in that style right from the beginning? you do it again but a bit more stilted there has been a spillage on platform five um the point is um that the announcements uh they are there primarily for visually impaired people that's why we get them right but also often there isn't something that you can see you might not be able to see the signage easily. It varies station to station. So everyone can benefit with people with hearing. Yeah, sometimes it's worth reminding you as well. So there seems a variety of categories as to why this would happen.

But it seems that when a station has got a completely different name to what it really is. So like North Greenwich, a light here for the O2. Yeah. You wouldn't put those two things together if you were a tourist, would you? But the point is, if you're visually impaired, the most important place that you might need to get to is a hospital. Moorfields Eye Hospital gets its own announcement at Old Street, I noticed. That is difficult because there are like eight different exits from Old Street as well.

They don't tell you which exit, do they? I think that is a good piece of demographic targeting. I'm imagining a blind person on the train needs the hospital. They've thought about it. There's an announcement for the RNIB at King's Cross as cross as well isn't it is there yeah i think so i think it's probably quite easy for them to deduce what they need to announce as well because if you've got a bunch of people going up to staff at whitechapel going is this the right place for the royal london hospital yeah then it's probably worth putting on the announcement isn't it i think

it's also reasonable to assume that it's very often the case that if you're going to a hospital it's not in an area you're familiar with although one of the only reasons that people visit my childhood hometown of stanmore is to visit the royal national orthopaedic hospital it's great there they love to see some fallen arches and you know whenever i tell people that aren't from london that i'm from stanmore that if they know anything at all they'll say oh yeah i went to the orthopaedic hospital there when my back gave way well in future times they will say i went to the ollie man theme park yes indeed yeah uh but um there is no announcement at samwell station to alight there for the raw national orthopedic hospital but i think the reason is you need to get a cab that costs a tenner to get there from

there yeah so my guess is it needs to be exactly walking distance from the station to make it announceable yes yeah i do think there is a third category though you know so there's there's tourist destinations there's hospitals i think there's a third category which i suspect sometimes money changes hands um because this whole emirates airline thing that's the cable car right that goes from somewhere you don't want to go in greenwich to somewhere else you don't want to go in greenwich that is called the emirates airline yeah because it's sponsored by emirates well the o2 is called sure o2 but it seems to me the whole thing almost was done so they can put on the tube map emirates airline and have an announcement saying emirates on the tube so i think there is a category of things where you

can buy your way into an announcement if you're clever all right conspiracy man that is what they want in the future they want welcome to the pagodily line sponsored by burger king or whatever oh really is that the way it's going try and fund the tube yeah be more sensible if burger king sponsored uh the stretch of um tube where it's the confluence of um circle metropolitan and hammersmith and city lines because that looks a bit like a burger it's maroon maroon for the burger yellow for the cheese and pink for the bacon also represents the fluctuating intestinal reaction that you'd get from eating it whilst on the tube and what your arteries look like here's a question from helen in oxford who says helen answer me this who is the woman on the starbucks logo is she the queen of starbucks because it is a monarchy governed country

she seems to be wearing a crown i always assumed this was liberty i was assuming this was the lady off the statue of liberty oh i'm afraid you're wrong. That's interesting. Green, like on the money, and with a crown, like Liberty. Yeah, but different hairstyle. An iconic American. Helen continues, does she have claws instead of hands? No. Or are those just very long sleeves?

Also no. I don't know what they're talking about. What's sleeves? They're things, it looks like she's got stripy lobster claws coming up from around the sides of her heads. Does it? But I'll get to that. She says, I can't see either of those things helping,

claws and crowns, if you're trying to make someone a latte. I think you are misinterpreting what most corporate logos are really about. Yeah, they don't say, our staff look like this, do they? I assumed it was a mermaid. Correct, Martin.

It is a siren. So who's Starbuck? Is that from the Seafaring Voyage novel, is it? Well, they wanted a lot of sea references because Seattle, of course, is on the Puget Sound. And so they were looking in 1971 when they were founding Starbucks, they were reading a lot of seafaring books and they wanted to reflect the seafaring history of coffee as well. And then they saw a woodcut of a twin-tailed mermaid or siren. So those things that look like claws are actually her two tails.

Oh, right. So I suppose then you could have a mermaid with a crotch, which is a lot of people's dream, isn't it? The exciting thing about the original 70s iteration of this logo was that she had her whammers out. Oh, really? Yeah, definitely. I mean, try not to get overstimulated.

Whoa. So she's got tails akimbo and then you can see her boobs. But because the signs were so big, it just meant people were confronted with enormous mermaid boobs. But she looks sad. She looks like the day after the night before and her makeup's running

and she's got a terrible hangover. They changed the logo a bit so that her hair was covering up her boobs. Oh, it's Moby Dick. I thought it was a character from literature. Who's Moby Dick? Starbuck is a character from Moby Dick. That's what the...

It's amazing, isn't it? Martin just has his own episode rolling in his head whilst we're recording. I've been reading the Moby Dick and I haven't got to the point where they turn up with a cup of coffee. I'm looking forward to that passage. What about cake pops?

Are there cake pops in Moby Dick? Do you have to get the key to the toilet off the baristas before you can go on the ship? Well, that's what the great struggle in Moby Dick is about, trying to get hold of the key. Five Star Hotel We can go on the ship. Well, that's what the great struggle in Maybe Dick is about, trying to get hold of the key. Five-star hotel

It had an omelette station A multitude of pools But 30 quid for parking WTF Four-star hotel There's ethernet, not Wi-Fi like it's 1998 But there was a swim up bar in the rooftop pool Three Star Hotel

A bit more down to earth They did still have a pool But it was full of kids Two Star Hotel A lot more down to earth They also had a pool But it was full of dogs One Star Hotel

There's a body in the pool Answer Me This Holiday All the fun of travelling with none of the stinky toilets or frightening food Out now at answermethispodcast.com Here's a question from Tim who says Out now at answermethispodcast.com slash albums. Here's a question from Tim who says, I was always under the assumption that Buddha... That's right, it's a question about Buddha.

The big B. I was always under the assumption that Buddha was a Hindu prince called Siddhartha from way ages ago like... Yeah. Why I? 6th century BC, way A. He then gave up, continues Tim, all of his possessions and led a meditative life. Yes.

Like Russell Brand. So, Helen, answer me this. Just like Russell Brand. Why do some of the statues of Buddha portray him as a chubby funster? I think that is fair. And others suggest he is thin. I've never seen one of Buddha looking thin.

Surely they should all be thin. Maybe Buddha's just got a slow metabolism, all right. Yeah, he could have had some kind of organ failure. He spends a lot of time sitting. He does. Sedentary lifestyle is fatal now, isn't it? You don't see... Should have got a standing desk.

You don't see many fat monks who have really dedicated their life to being a monk, though, do you? I don't see many monks at all. That's true. I don't either. You're right. I'm going on stereotypes. Here's the thing fat buddha is actually a chinese depiction of the 10th century eccentric monk buddhi who is usually pictured with a sack full of sweets that he'd give to children

and he had the power of being able to predict the weather so he's like santa and a weather girl he is often confused with prince and sage siddhartha gaut, who sat under a tree and became enlightened and was ascetic, so that's why he isn't considered to be very fat. So the whole thing is an elaborate confusion. Exactly. Like the two Harrison Ford stars. The Siddhartha Buddha is the Buddha, whereas Buddha, Fat Buddha, is a Buddha,

because there are actually lots of Buddhas, because Buddha means enlightened. Stop saying Buddha. Buddha, Buddha, Buddha. Buddha, Buddha, Buddha. Buddha, Buddha, Buddha. But people rub Fat Buddha's belly for luck because depicting him as fat is thought to bring good luck and prosperity.

So it was kind of an honorific thing. I think this is a deception. It's interesting when you just explain it, but clearly there are many people who are literally praying to Buddha and rubbing the belly of the wrong Buddha. Yeah, well, then they should be a bit more academic before they pursue a religion they don't know about.

Presumably, although Buddhism isn't very theistic, it comes from a kind of avatar-based religion. That's true. Like Hinduism, where God is manifested in various forms. So the idea that you... So God was present in Buddha as well as Buddha. Exactly, yeah. You're still praying to the same God.

Yeah, the different manifestations of the same God. Well, they're all enlightened monks, right? If he gave away all his sweets, why was he so fat? Maybe he didn't give them all away. I bet he didn't. He just gave away the ones that he didn't like, like the coconut creams. But why is it the case that people have confused

fat Buddha and thin Buddha? Is it because they like the depiction of fat Buddha more because he looks more cheerful than stern thin Buddha sitting under a tree thinking thoughts. Same as with Fern Britain, as previously discussed. Everyone prefers Fat Buddha. You know, no one's interested when he's lost that weight. I don't see why you're comparing Fern Britain to Buddha.

Because Fern Britain is still a very talented TV presenter and yet she's not a media personality anymore, really. Like Buddha. Like Buddha. Because of her gastric bypass, Martin. Yeah, exactly. If Buddha had a gastric bypass, I reckon suddenly people wouldn't want the statues in their bathrooms anymore.

What I'm saying is if Thin Buddha had a daytime chat show on Channel 4, it would be unsuccessful. What I am quite perplexed about is the spread of Buddha statues as kind of casual home decor, to the extent you get like fluorescent yellow flock Buddhas. Yes, and put them in your toilet and stuff as well. It doesn't make you look spiritual, it just makes you look shallow, I think.

How are you doing this? This is Alastair from Glasgow. Hello, Nolly. I wonder if you can answer me this. What's the point of a bed? And why don't we just use a mattress on the floor? Is there any benefit? Does it make it comfier or something? Or is it just a habit now? Some countries do just have mattresses on the floor,

or not even a mattress. Japanese futons quite often. Are they actually touching the floor? There's no gap underneath? Yeah, but then also in Japan, it's very common not to wear your outside shoes in the house, so you wouldn't get dirt in the bed, which you might hear,

filthing around if you had a mattress on the floor i mean in europe i imagine it's partly to do with the fact i mean it's cold at night yes and the ground is colder than the ground is suspending the bed higher and there are a lot of rodents around in cities and big conurbations and you know i know mice can climb but they're less likely to do that they're more likely to run underneath you and when you're not just sleeping but also sexing in the bed it's not very nice to do so with a rat those are my reasons i'll take it from you that it's not nice to do it with rats um no there's a very good reasons ollie because if you raise the bed you're out of the way of drafts and uh dirt and pests because also mattresses used to be made of things like straw and you did not want little beasts to be living in the straw, would you?

The ground is cold, the air circulation keeps your mattress from being damp. It's easier to get out of a bed that is elevated. If you've got creaky joints, and you can put things under the bed for storage, which is practical. So I think there are lots of compelling reasons for beds. And also there's probably something as well in the slight give you get when your mattress is on a bed base rather than on the floor. Nonetheless, was there a time, I wonder, where people tried sleeping sitting down? Like, it's just a given that we lie down.

If you're an astronaut, you sort of sleep standing up in a hammock, don't you? But I guess you don't have gravity, so the rules are different. A lot of things are different when you're an astronaut. Washing your hair, going to the toilet, very different. I read an interesting fact about the first waterbed. Go on. When do you think that was from? The first waterbed.

Okay, well, look, if we were doing the history of waterbeds as a question, I'd imagine the answer would be 1950-something. But the way you're saying it, I imagine it's probably the Romans or something. 1782. The first waterbeds that they know of were from Persia more than 3,600 years ago. Yeah. They were goat skins filled with water. That is amazing.

I don't even know how you'd fill a goat skin with water without some of it seeping out. But the point is, they didn't have the goat skin filled with water to be kitsch like Winona Ryder and Edward Scissorhands. They had it because it was a way of creating a firm texture from materials that they had. That's amazing.

Like 1,600 years before the birth of Christ, there were these guys hanging out with waterbeds. That's pretty amazing. And because they're already made of fur, they still had that 70s sleazy angle to them. And on that note, it is surely time to wrap up proceedings for this episode of Answer Me This. Can't argue with that note.

Thank you, as ever, for all your questions and correspondence if you would like to send us more for the next episode without it we will not have one then direct it to the contact details on our website answer me this podcast.com we also have links on there to our facebook and our twitter and our store where you can support the show by buying classic episodes and our albums and our apps but the fun doesn't stop at the weekends not anymore because remember you can hear my new lbc show on friday and saturday nights friday from 8 till 10 saturday from 6 30 till 10 p.m and you can be in bed by midnight ollie yeah i'm gonna i'm taking over from friend of the podcast ian collins yeah so i think i might grow a quiff in a suit

just so that i can do it properly every time i see Ian Collins, his hair is more and more brilliant. I know. It's a strong act to follow. It is. Good luck. And I should say as well, LBC used to be just a London station. Some people still think it is. It isn't.

If you live anywhere in the UK, it's on DAB and it's on Freeview. So listen. But also if you live in the world, it's online. It's on the internet. But everything's on the internet, isn't it? I mean, you know, turtle porn is on the internet. Is it? Probably.

Oh no. Anyway, we'll see you next time. Bye!