Answer Me This! - AMT320: Romcoms, Red Velvet Cake, and Your Local Munch

Episode Date: August 6, 2015

Today's questioneers are concerned about registering their babies, the first ever romantic comedy, and what the hell is so red in red velvet cake. For more details about this episode, and to obtain it via other means than this one, visit http://answermethispodcast.com/episode320.Send questions to [e-mail], or the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis)Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandollyBe our Facebook friend at http://facebook.com/answermethisSubscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThisBuy old episodes and albums at http://answermethisstore.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can Jeremy Corbyn eat a bacon sandwich? Has to be this, has to be this Will drinking a Carlin get me kicked out of Shoreditch? Has to be this, has to be this Helen and Ollie, has to be this Dom, da-dom, dom-dom That's right, we're talking about dominatrices Again?

Again, well it's feedback we're doing now I thought it was one particular dominatrix. It was, Martin. At the end of episode 319, a man calling himself Nigel, you'll recall, wrote us a slightly incomprehensible email about how he was seeing a dominatrix on a regular basis. Yes. But was confused. He was confused.

And so were we. Because we didn't see what the issue was. His question was, should I feel guilty? And we couldn't see what there was to feel guilty about there was a lot going on in his email if you haven't already heard it go back listen to the end of 319 then return for what is about to be said on 320 very good oliver uh yes thank you you have the floor um well an anonymous man has been in touch to say i'm a mid-40s guy who works in an office, is married with an adult son. I have a very normal life.

But when it comes to kink, I'm a dom, a sadist and an evil bastard. OK, that's quite a full description of his life. Very economically dom. On the question of whether Nigel is nuts. Well, assuming that he means am i nuts for liking this stuff the answer is no not at all it's a lot more common than you'd think absolutely on the issue of whether he should feel guilty should he feel guilty about her husband no not at all because he knows all about it trust me if she's doing it professionally and

she has a dungeon there's no way she'll be able to hide it yeah this is what i was saying i assumed that her husband would not be oblivious to a whole story of his house shall i get the wine from the cellar darling no uh should he feel guilty continues this email about what if you have a wife or partner and you're cheating then probably nigel but if it's just you and you're doing what you want and you can afford it and you're cheating then probably Nigel but if it's just you and you're doing what you want and you can afford it and you're getting what you need then no not at all if the situation however is that you've developed feelings and we suspected Martin suspected this was the case Martin is good at seeing feelings where we are blind you need to talk to your dom is that part

of the arrangement though you may be able to have an actual relationship rather than a financial arrangement, but you'll need to be ready as she may cut you free at that point. Could be a literal term. Yeah, could well be, seeing as she is monogamous. Yeah. The other advice I would give Nigel is get out to your local munch.

What is my local munch? A munch is a local meeting of kinky people in a vanilla setting. That sounds fun. So, nilla clothes, no play, in a local pub or similar venue. You could go to Subway. Huh? Or you could stay at home and get a Domino's.

You could, Ollie. Yep. You absolutely could. I'd say I'm here all week, but that's it. I can't think of other brands that sound like Sub or Dom. You could meet up at Kinko's and do some photocopying if you're based in the States. Indeed. You win that round Martin.

He does but only because they're very low bar than I said. Carry on. Yes. Anonymous Man continues there are lots of these munchies around apparently. We get together and chat and have a laugh like normal people puts two exclamation marks there as if to underline how normal he is. That's not lunches around apparently we get together and chat and have a laugh like normal people puts two exclamation marks there as if to underline how normal he is that's not normal and he also

has another piece of advice is get on fet life or one of the other kink social networks uh and talk to other subs and other doms and i know lots of people in long-term relationships who are doms or into other forms of kinky, there are people out there. That was reassuring. Yes. I hope Nigel does that, because I got the sense that Nigel was quite a lonely man. I got that sense too from the tone of his email.

Yeah. It's probably easy to feel a bit isolated if you think you're the only person into it, isn't it? Yeah. But in fact, all over the world, people are subbing and doming. Yeah, it's still a minority concern though, isn't it? It's just the internet makes it feel so much more...

Like podcasting. Yeah, indeed. You know, all the journalists, like, wah, wah, wah, wah, and yet most people don't know what it is. Probably everyone's got a podcast now, right? Yeah, except for most people who don't care. Or know what one is.

Or listen to one. Well, Liz in New York City has also written in with some heartening words for Nigel. She says, I am a dominant woman with experience in various forms of BDSM, and I think it's pretty clear that for Nigel. She says, I am a dominant woman with experience in various forms of BDSM. And I think it's pretty clear that what Nigel was really asking

was not should I be ashamed for wanting this, but rather given that I have such specific tastes, shouldn't I feel satisfied with this arrangement even though I don't? Wow. Very perceptive. I think if Nigel was honest with himself, he'd have to admit that his ideal scenario

would be for him to be in a relationship with a dominant woman who could provide him with both emotional intimacy and the opportunity for the kind of service based submission he enjoys. And I just want to tell him there are so many women who would be delighted to lock up your junk and watch you scrub the floors within the context of a loving and mutually supportive relationship. You don't have to settle for what you have now if it isn't what will truly make you happy in the long run isn't it lovely that in this particular niche of sexuality where people inflict pain upon each other voluntarily there's such a lot of warmth and support for each other i think that's probably what makes it work yeah liz continues on an entirely different note your discussion of Ritz crackers and wartime foods reminded me of a truly horrifying relic

of the Great Depression. Only on Altamira's. Seriously. On the Mastercast, they are not having that link. I'm going to stand aside and request that Liz replaces me on this show henceforth. Savage love at your heart, eh?

She says, this horrifying relic of the Great Depression may have not made it over to the UK. Mock apple pie This is a pie with a filling of Sugar syrup, lemon juice, cinnamon And Ritz crackers Right, perfect substitute for apples isn't it

They really have a very similar texture Absolutely yeah, I couldn't think of anything more similar Apart from possibly paper or guitar strings Maybe rocks, razor blades Human hands Liz says I have never tried it But it sounds like the most revolting thing possibly paper or guitar strings. Maybe rocks, razor blades, human hands. Liz says, I have never tried it, but it sounds like the most revolting thing imaginable. It does, sounds like the kind of thing Nigel would be into.

And I have no idea how it could possibly taste like apples. I think firstly, the point with a lot of these awful substitute foods that they enjoyed basically between First World War and the end of the Second World War wasn't so much that they really tasted like the thing, but you could pretend that they did. And also, maybe it had been so long since they tasted a real apple pie that they were willing to go for this.

Well, also, my understanding of this, now I've looked into it, Liz, and thank you for flagging it to my attention. Thank you for opening your eyes. Apparently, this is a thing in the States that people are much more aware of because for years, Ritz crackers actually printed the recipe on the back of the box for mock apple pie even decades after are they still doing it not anymore remarkable not anymore but until as far as i can work out the 60s and 70s they were and it's because apples ended up costing uh less or the same than a box of ritz crackers at which

point there isn't much point keeping the recipe there anymore but i think even when apples cost say the same as a box of ritz crackers uh possibly they did it because of that link with the nostalgia of the past what you're really creating there is mush because if you combine the ritz cracker with the sugar syrup you're getting mush and when you cook apples down for a pie filling it's really more of a texture the flavor is limited and if they're putting lemon juice in and cinnamon then i get that it could work i had no idea that that was the case i I had no idea that apples were just a conveyor of other flavours in a pie. You almost convince yourself you can taste the fruit, but apparently it's not like a cherry pie or a blueberry pie

where you can taste the sweetness from the fruit. The apple is just a lumpy thing that's there. And in fact, you can use apple to bulk up, say, a cherry pie or rhubarb pie when you want to make expensive fruit go further. And apparently mock apple pie in some form goes back to the civil war so before ritz crackers people said use saltines well it's the similar principle isn't it saltines ritz crackers yeah but they really did seem keen on cracker pie and it does it kind of apparently apparently it tastes almost as good as real apple pie i'd say i'd bake

one and try it by next episode but i don't want to hello this is james at work hello molly answer me this what's the deal with red velvet it seems in the past like four years red velvet's just like become a standard one of the cake repertoire you'll have like you know victoria's buns chocolate cake red velvet everywhere and up until about 2011 i don't think i'd ever seen it i read that was a fabric not a cake where's it come from what's it made out of red velvet what's what's it all about right so there's a myth about where red velvet cake came from which is the waldorf astoria hotel invented it but apparently in fact during the great depression we returned to the great depression in the late 30s a cake mix company was trying to stimulate sales which had been

ruined by the great depression so they invented red velvet cake and it was just normal cake mix with a load of red food coloring put in and so there's a scientific myth as well about red velvet which is that it was a chocolate cake made with cocoa and the raising agents oxidized it in such a way that it turned it red but apparently not really uh it's just food coloring to make it look different to the other cake mix and actually that does tell you that it's 20 red but apparently not really uh it's just food coloring to make it look different to the other cake mix and actually that does tell you that it's 20th century doesn't it food coloring yes because artifice one of the great food trends of the 20th century and of course now there's loads of processed food with food coloring in it but it's less of a selling point if someone invented

a cake that was bright red now they'd probably say can we make that look a bit more natural yeah and yet red velvet has become popular i ITA in the last five years or so. My dad had an idea in about 1992. He's had a few ideas since, but this one sticks with me. He's a visionary Stanley man. We went to Planet Hollywood, which was the thing to do when you were 12 years old in North London in 1992 for your birthday. That is very distinct qualification.

And, you know, it was a rip-off and the food was three stars. But I was excited because there were clothes that had been worn by supplementary characters in The Terminator hanging on the wall. And you were on a planet of Hollywood. Well, whilst we were in the restaurant, my dad won't remember this, but whilst we were in the restaurant, there was a real in vogue thing for themed restaurants at the time. You know, this is the time where there was Hard Rock Cafe was still a big deal planet hollywood uh you had the rainforest cafe just

opening in london yeah my dad came up with the idea of a martian restaurant where all the food would be bright red so like you'd order like hawksmoor but you'd order something um sort of without knowing what it was i guess they'd have to put coding in there so that adults could work out that it was a bowl of pasta or a burger. Or they could just have red lights and then you wouldn't even have to amp up the colouring too much. But the idea, the appeal for me as a young Olly man, and I remember it still, I mean, it stuck with me and I thought it was an amazing idea, was that you could order like a Martian burger and it would be bright red and green. And the idea of vibrant coloring really

appealed but it still does a bit and i yeah well i that's the thing about food coloring isn't it i know it's bad and wrong and unnecessary to put that stuff in your body but it's quite cool isn't it beautiful if you can make something that looks like it should have been from a cartoon mars that is quite cool anyway i wonder if anyone ever came up with this concept and did it in presumably vegas it seems like a kind of 90ss Vegas thing that is probably rusting away somewhere behind the strip. Yeah. I'd go. I'd go now, even though I would know it would be bad for me.

I think generally theme restaurants still have a lot of life in the concept that is not being exploited. Yeah, well, you see Frankie and Benny's is a classic example. What is that themed after? I've not been in one. It's themed after Italian-American diners, specifically. Yeah, but that's not really a theme like Mars or Hollywood.

It is, because you go in there and they're playing Dean Martin Rat Pack stuff. That's just styling. It's not themed. Well, hold on. I'm talking it through. It's not creating a really bizarre artificial environment like I consider a true theme restaurant to be rather than a characterisation of. Well, you may say it's not creating a truly artificial environment.

I say if you build a leisure park in the middle of watford off the m25 and you manage to convince someone just for a second that they're in new york in 1975 that's quite good okay and they do do that and i think frankie and benny's if you're listening i think your theming is a plus well done whichever uh group of investors owns frankie and benny's how's the food though here's where they fail is the food that's the thing if the food was like authentic italian american food generous portions really tasty yeah i'd be in frankie and benny's every day mate as it is even if i'm in borehamwood shopping park i think i'd probably rather pop to the costa in the debenhams i want more theming everywhere yeah but i want better quality food on my suggestion you went to the themed town of leavenworth washington state didn't you so good because i told you it's the happiest place on earth it's all bavarian themed it's so weird so if you've

never heard of this place it's in washington state in the usa it's in the foothills of the cascade mountains which are very alpine looking so they thought let's make it look bavarian it was a place where they used to mine gold and then guess what that sort of ran out and then they had nothing else to do to get tourists to go yeah so they said let's theme it like the sound of music but what's amazing about it it works uh yeah like if in britain a village said let's theme like a bavarian village i'll tell you what that would mean exactly that would mean that on the pub they'd put little triangular bunting that's brown yeah and they'd serve hot dogs yeah and possibly the local post office would play umpapa music and sell postcards of

switzerland that's it yeah not good enough in america when they say let's theme a town it's the whole fucking town even the starbucks signs it's not the normal starbucks logo it has to be bavarian starbucks logo so cool it's like i assume even like the police station and the court is themed and the hospital i mean it's certainly like tattoo parlor is. Every civic building in the town centre appears to be. It's awesome. Amazing. And if there is a Bavarian synagogue or mosque, I wonder how that feels.

You've got a question. Email your question to answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com. Answer me this podcast at Googlemail.com. Answer me this podcast at Googlemail.com. Answer me this podcast at Googlemail.com. Here's a question from... So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's round of Today in History? On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who?

On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. Ryan from Melbourne, he says, Ollie, answer me this. What was the first romantic comedy?

Is it going to be something from like 1900, where there are no words? Yes, it's going to be from 1924, Helen. It is a silent film called Girl Shy. It's from 1924, Harold Lloyd. Whose name has lasted, you know, as a silent movie performer. He was the Kate Hudson of his day

maybe not so much his love interest which was played by Jobina Ralston amazing name Jobina that's a good name just how does that

it's not like even like Nigella where they've taken a nice man's name and feminised it Jobby lots of men called Jobby

it's just terrible anyway old Jobby and Harold I like it I like Jobina it's good have a relationship in the film I mean it's a silent film Is it funny? Yes, but it's not a gag film

So this is the thing Until then, Harold Lloyd's comedies Obviously had been based mostly on him getting hit in the face with things And falling off buildings Yes, but that's what the ditzy woman is supposed to do in romantic comedy She's falling over all the time Whereas in a romantic comedy You have a moment which sometimes involves slapstick

Which Roger Ebert coined as the meet cute. Yes. Where the two of you sometimes literally bump into each other. So the classic one that springs to mind from modern times, Notting Hill, Cup of Coffee, Julia and Hugh. It's either that or you are carrying an armful of work papers and books and they all fall to the ground. You should have put them in a bag.

You meet lightning strikes, but it's in an unusual and kooky way. Maybe you don't get on, but there's a frisson. But somehow the audience know that you're destined to be together. So all of that is in Girl Shy. Is he an architect? I don't know. Does she work at a magazine writing one column every six months and yet that gets her a big apartment in Manhattan?

I presume from the title that she works at a Coconut Shy, but I haven't seen it. But, you know, film historians say that's kind of the first romantic comedy okay but even though that's the spirit of the question it's kind of a boring answer because you sort of predicted it already but i was going to say that of course you're going to say something like that i think actually much ado about nothing whoa i think if you're actually going to take the ingredients of romantic comedy and say what is there um you know as you say that that that flawed will-they-won't-they thing. Yes.

Two characters that you find amusing in different ways. You think they're not suited, but you know that they are all along. Sharp-tongued repartee. It's Beatrice and Benedict, isn't it? And friends who've also got their own romantic plot, like Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby in When Harry Met Sally. Yes, yeah. That is a good answer, Ollie. So I think, I don't know when Shakespeare wrote that, 1600 and something.

That, in my mind Is the first romantic comedy Okay no I'll accept that I was going to say What about Midsummer Night's Dream Is that Because that's a comedy And romantic

Midsummer Night's Dream is funny No you're wrong Midsummer Night's Dream Is really funny Yeah but not the romantic bits No the romantic bits Well It's separate

The romance and the comedy The rape drug stuff's quite funny Oh hilarious The play within a play is funny Yeah but it's not romantic The laugh is not funny Yeah exactly Whereas Much Ado About Nothing The repartee is funny The repartee is funny And you're but it's not romantic. The laugh is not funny. Yeah, exactly. Whereas Much Ado About Nothing,

the repartee is funny. The repartee is funny. And you're glad that they've got together at the end. And it ends in a wedding, yeah. Whereas I can't remember quite what happens at the end of Midsummer Night's Dream. And it ends happily. But there's some bollocks from Park, isn't there?

About, oh, all this fun we've been having. It was all a load of shit. Robin here shall make amends. Shut up. Whatever. Are you paraphrasing? Much Ado About Nothing ends in a wedding of the two characters. Sorry, spoiler. But ends in a wedding of the two characters Whereas Are you paraphrasing? Much ado of nothing Ends in a wedding

Of the two characters Sorry spoiler But ends in a wedding Of the two characters You've been rooting for Which is basically The template of every romantic comedy I have seen the film

Which one? I don't think it's reasonable To say the film When it comes to Shakespeare The one with Branagh and Oh Kenneth Branagh Yeah

Keanu Reeves Oh Lovely Sir I have come with news From the village. That's a good impression. So there you go. That's what I'm saying.

Okay, well, I'm happy with it. Good. Well, here's another question of romantic comedies. It's from Scott in Cheshire. He says, I think we can all agree that the film Overboard is a delightful comedy vehicle for Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn. And that vehicle is a boat. What, what?

I can't agree, Scott, because I haven't seen it. Oh. I haven't seen Overboard. I don't know if that's going to be a disadvantage in answering this question. I'm a big fan of it, but it's not unproblematic.

He says in the film, Kurt's character takes advantage of a woman with amnesia. Played by Goldie Hawn. Who didn't pay the agreed price for work carried out. Yes. The work being making her

a wardrobe built in on her yacht that she lives on with her rich husband. With a really awesome shoe holder. Yes. She wants it made out of cedar because of moths. And he made it out of another wood. Sounds hilarious already. By pretending, continues Scott, she is the mother

of his four unruly children and getting her to cook and clean for the family that is what happens uh they fall for each other so hold on goldie horn's got amnesia right she gets angry at him over the whole cedar thing and how he wants to be paid for remaking them yeah and she throws him and his toolkit off the boat right and then she falls off the boat i think some mishap because she's very impractically dressed for boat life she gets washed up on shore this is on the Oregon

coast I was amused to read which is very beautiful and she's got amnesia her husband goes to hospital to pick her up and then when he's there

he's like wow she's a real bitch so he goes off to be entertained by other women very 80s and Kurt Russell takes up the mantle

why is he even there well I think he sees on the news that she's there and he's like I'm gonna teach her a lesson so he's the news that she's there, and he's like, I'm going to teach her a lesson. So he's like, hey, wife, come home with me. And she's like...

Scott says there is a happy ending to the film. They fall for each other. They do. And she manages to make his dream of building a mini golf course a reality. Wow. But, Helen, answer me this. Okay. What would Kurt's character be charged with in real life?

And what time would he have to serve? So what's he done? He's gone along to a former client's hospital bed and pretended to be her husband so that he can benefit financially. No, so he takes her home and then keeps her in domestic servitude looking after his four boys. So she's cooking and cleaning. Oh, so she's forgotten about the boat completely.

She has amnesia, Ollie. Right, so yeah. So she's been... He doesn't want her lifestyle on the boat. He's punishing her by keeping her in a slum dwelling

with four children who don't give the game away, weirdly, even though they're quite young. So you'd think they would be like, no, my real mummy is dead. Yeah.

To be fair, it's not just a slum dwelling. It's where he lives. And it's his way of making her live the way that he lives. And she's been looking down upon him in the first part of the film. You're a working class hero. All right. It's not just a slum dwelling, it's where he lives And it's his way of making her live the way that he lives And she's been looking down upon him in the first part of the film Look at you, working class hero, alright

It's a bit like a jaunty 80s sequel to The Collector Fine, okay So that would be, I think, kidnapping Some say human trafficking False imprisonment, because it goes on for some months She's free to leave, isn't she? Well, she doesn't know that she can leave Because she doesn't remember anything Wow, so actually you probably need to look at some quite recent

uh laws that have been written about domestic abuse within marriages wouldn't you because if she thought she was married you know there is the issue about in the 80s would she consider herself free to leave they do have sex after they fall in love and i think rape by deception is a crime uh hard to prove i guess uh but the weird thing is like after she finds out that he's done this thing she goes back to the boat and then she wants to be back in the horrible place with kurt russell and their golf course so that's the romance that she's she is still stop home syndroming all over the place her husband is awful and she does realize she's awful like her whole personality changes the 80s everyone in 80s romantic comedies is awful

yeah but she's got brain damage that must make her a nice person it's like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman isn't it oh that is such a

gross film well look I think it is a great film it makes me laugh and I enjoy it but I'm you know unsettled by the fact that it is a romp

about a prostitute yeah ha ha look at this relationship that is not a door legal well that's the thing so Richard Gere is supposed to be a really nice millionaire because he doesn't just want sex he's also prepared to pay to keep someone during the day and buy a nice dress because he's ashamed of the way she dresses yeah exactly but actually i, that's a good corollary, isn't it? Sure. In that, in Pretty Woman, you don't have...

You have her prostitute best friend, who's also a prostitute and having a tougher time, but she's not a meth addict. And in the same way, in Overboard, although I haven't seen it, it's not going to examine the darker side of the criminal injustice that's been perpetuated because it's a romantic comedy.

Back to the last answer. If the focus of the film is about the relationship and on laughs, there can be a dark side, like in the Judd Apatow films that go on for an hour too long and then halfway through someone has a miscarriage. But basically, it can't linger on that because it's got to be about the couple. It's not meant to be like the real world.

I mean, Kurt Russell is not motivated either by money or by wanting to have sex with her. Just by mini he just yeah he just he just wants to kind of like it's like it's free child care but i don't know what the sentencing would be it depends on what the oregon state laws were and the federal laws if this is federal case and then whether he had to serve the sentences consecutively or concurrently but i'd imagine at least ten years. Well, I mean, it's just as well we worked it out. Because I don't think he feels remorse for it in the film. But I think if she felt upset enough to press charges,

maybe he would realise the importance of his actions. Well, something that we feel remorse for are some of our early episodes of the show. But you can buy those if you want to. You can buy those if you want. We have imprisoned them up on AnswerMeThisStore.com. That's right. Today's intermission is from episode 123.

Which is back in, what, 2010? Yeah. Yeah. Ollie had a freshly dislocated shoulder, I believe. And like all of our classic episodes of Answer Me This, it is available to buy from AnswerMeThisStore.com, but also the entire back catalogue, episodes 1 to 200, are now on iTunesunes and amazon as

well if you'd rather give a little bit more of your money to a corporation as well as us in the name of convenience yeah feel free give more money to big business and less to us i get it but if you're an iphone user and you'd rather just download it straight to your phone and not bother going through our website fine we'll take your money itunes amazon or answer me this store.com a lot of you are afraid of ketchup, idiots Really? Yeah, what's with that? What's frightening about ketchup?

Well, I suppose it looks like blood It looks bloody, isn't it? Yeah Someone called Mary said that she's afraid of kites meaning she can't even watch the end of Mary Poppins It's a long enough film

though, Mary Poppins You've had enough by that point It doesn't matter if you don't watch the last five minutes Blow into the air Get rid of you Better to be scared of penguins and miss the tedious middle section

on the carousel Better be scared of suffragettes. Just Joe has a fear of authors dying partway through writing a series. So I don't start reading a series of books until I have the whole set. This is my favourite phobia of them all, though. It's from Kaylee, who says, I am terrified of crumpets. Oh, wow. The holes freak me out.

Oh, you could fall in there. You could lose your keys in those holes. Something could climb out and beat you with a machete. Actually, if you went, well, honey, I shrunk the kids, then crumpets would be frightening, wouldn't they? Oh, an absolute minefield. It'd be like Monument Valley, wouldn't it?

Yeah. Please be so kind as to call in with your questions by Skyping Answer Me This or by dialling the following number. 0-2-0-8-1-2-3-5-8-double-7 to call in with your questions by Skyping Answer Me This or by dialling the following number. And let's hear from one of you inquisitive people. Hello, how am I? Sean from Bristol. I just walked past an ambulance and there's the sign on there of the snake.

It looks like it's going around a candle. What is that? Where does it come from? Why is it an ambulance, though? It is not a candle, Sean, that the snake is going around on the ambulance symbol. It is a staff or rod, and it's known... Easy now. And it is known as the Rod of Asclepius, who was the Greek god of healing. And he had several children who were also medically involved.

One of his daughters was Hygieia, from which we get the word hygiene. Wow. Yeah. That's really interesting. I bet loads of paramedics don't even know the classical origins of that logo, even though it's on the vehicles that they drive around. I just think paramedics have probably got more pressing matters to attend to. Yeah, but nowadays they have to do a degree anyway.

So maybe it does come up in the theory section. I've got a degree in classics, which means I'll be a perfect paramedic. The snake thing is because in ancient Greece, snakes were considered sacred beings of healing and wisdom to the extent that they would fill hospital wards with non-venomous snakes just to hang around on the floor. I mean, I know the Greeks had some great ideas.

You know, they created a lot of civilising projects. I'm not taking it away from them. Like discrimination against women. No, but you know, drama and tzatziki. Democracy. Yeah, but all I'm saying is, what about looking at a snake, an animal that can eat an entire beaver with one swipe of its tongue. Maybe they didn't have beavers in Greece.

Or strangle a baby to death. Makes you think healing. Well, they thought snake venom was remedial. The thing that kills the animal. Remedial. Well, sometimes it might have a useful anaesthetic effect. I know I'm looking at this through modern eyes, but I mean, WTF, Greeks?

And also they thought that the snake shedding its skin was a symbol of rebirth. It's madness. Oh, that's interesting. But it's really a symbol of exfoliation, isn't it? They also used to use

sacred dogs to lick wounds. So if you just put sacred in front of an animal it's allowed to roam free in hospitals. Talking of logos here is a question about such from Adam

who says, Ollie, answer me this. Why is Snapchat's logo a ghost? Ghost face chiller, to be precise Really? Chiller with an A-H Of course Well, if you're riffing on ghost face killer

You have to emulate the spelling, don't you? Although apparently it's now known as no face chiller That's a nerd joke because Snapchat took the face away from the ghost And soon there'll be a Jewish verse and ghost face. So this is just a Wu-Tang Clan pun. Well, the name of it is. I don't think we're led to believe that the ghost has any affiliation to any hip hop group. Look, every app needs a logo.

All the good ones were gone. Not all the good ones. They just hadn't happened yet. Okay. The reason that it's a ghost is because a message that you create on Snapchat

self-destructs and then becomes like a ghost just a previous incarnation of itself but that's a really bad metaphor because a ghost

persists after the death of its owner it happens around all the time as do cock shots on Snapchat as anyone knows apart from teenagers

who insist on posting them naively right so the ghost really symbolises screen grabs yes exactly rather than the Snapchat itself the ghost really symbolises screen grabs. Yes, exactly. Rather than the Snapchat itself. The ghost represents the pornification of your private content in future.

That is an impressive symbol. Yeah, it conveys a lot. Hello, hello, Nolly. This is Arj from Canterbury. I recently got three points for speeding, and it just got me thinking, why three points? Is there something that you get one point for or two points for? Three seems like a very arbitrary number, and, and you know 12 almost seems like a target i'm glad that you asked us this arch because until today i didn't realize that indeed yes there are offenses

that carry fewer than three points is that because you only go for the big ones none of these piddly little one pointers yeah i'm only interested in aggravating taking of a vehicle at three to eleven points and i'm going for the full amount. So if you get 12 points, your license is suspended for how long? Oh, good question. They take three years to clear. But I think probably for some crimes, you never get it back. How many points have you got at the moment?

That's a good question. I don't know. I think three. Do you get an annual statement? No, you just know if you're in the danger zone. So I'm not in the danger zone. I think I've got three. But I might have none by now because they disappear after a few years. The speeding tickets?

Yeah. They last for three years as well, don't they? Yeah, they all last for three years. And the classic ones are in units of three. So it's normally three points for example going at 40 in a 30 zone. If you're doing exceeding speed limit on a motorway that's three to six points so again you've got a clear scale there it's probably three points if

you're doing 106 points if you're doing 130 you know so there's some leniency um but what's interesting is uh there are offenses that are fewer than three which i didn't realize uh play street offenses will get you to play streetreet, apparently, is a special kind of pedestrianised street. I suppose it's like a private road where there are families living in a cul-de-sac, so they can apply to the council for it to be a playstreet. And in that designated street, you can't drive at usually over 20 miles per hour. So if you get done for 30 in a 20, basically, it's two points. Because you're still not going to kill anyone, really.

So three seems a bit harsh, but you are technically exceeding the speed limit, so it's two points. Because you're still not going to kill anyone really, so three seems a bit harsh. But you are technically exceeding the speed limit, so it's two points. And you could damage people. Well, you could definitely damage a seven-year-old that you hit. You could run over a nice game of soft cricket. But they'd live in some terrible chromatic form. Mangled.

Failing to provide specimen for a breath test is four. Wow! Which is intriguing How much is it for drunk driving? If you're drunk driving your licence is taken away So it's worth taking the hit If you are driving drunk Yes that's not advice that we're giving on the show

Martin that is drunk logic I'm just thinking I'm thinking about the incentive system That's actually an incentive not to comply with the police If you are breaking the law What do you get one for? I can't see an incentive system. That's actually an incentive not to comply with the police if you are breaking the law. What do you get one for? I can't see an offence where there's one. Can you get one point for having two baby-on-board stickers

in your back windscreen? It's not like we didn't see the first one. What happens if you've got twins? And also you're endangering them by blocking out all of your visibility. Lucy in Bournemouth says, my Spanish friend loves to use the word nippy to describe the English climate. Fair enough.

He asked me why we say it's nippy when it's cold, to which I told him that it's because the temperature, that nipples become attentive to the cold. Oh, stop it. I don't know if that's true, says Lucy, but I like the idea. Of course you do, and it isn't. So, Helen, answer me this.

Did I tell him a big funny lie? Yes. Or is it actually where the word nippy originates? No. Thanking you. So polite. Lovely manners. Not bad.

No, but you are a liar. Yeah, okay. No, they are from completely different origins. Nipple is from neb, which is like a little protuberance. And nippy is from the Middle English nipper to pinch. Because it feels like the weather's pinching you a bit. That's from Old Norse. Is it not possible, though, that nowadays the word stuck around had staying power

because it feels a bit naughty? Oh, yeah, sure. Transmuted, possibly. Oh, yes. Might the lexicographers of the future be making this connection even though it wasn't originally there? Yeah, the bad lexicographers of the future be making this connection even though it wasn't originally there? Yeah, the bad lexicographers might. I found out that a 16th or 17th century slang term

for a woman's nipples was cherrylets. Ah. So presumably like small cherries. Sounds like a cough sweat. See, cherrylets works, I think, on a relatively petite and flat-chested lady. I don't think big whammers would be called cherrylets. What would they be?

Cherry booms. Cherry blooms. Cherry blums. I got in the sack with my boss. Now my boss wants to sack me. So I need a place online to put up my CV. I don't want to use LinkedIn. That's so unattractively

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And also for allowing you listeners to create websites that look good and work really well and are not difficult at all. Yeah, something that works, something that advertises yourself, something that sells stuff, or something that just organises things that you enjoy in a pretty way. And my God, those fonts are cool. So if you've just been sitting around for years going, oh, I'd love to get this project off the ground, but I can't quite be arsed. Be arsed! Yeah.

Now is the time. Yeah. And if you go to squarespace.com, you can play around with the two-week free trial. And then if you decide to turn that short-term fling into a long-term relationship, then you can get 10% off for a whole year if you use the code ANSWER. Here's a question from Dylan who says, Very soon, my wife will be giving birth to our first child. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

Once the child is born, we have six weeks to register its name. But Helen, answer me this. What happens if you don't register a name in those six weeks? Does the state give you a name? I'm calling it baby. Does the state even give you a number? Oh, come on. That would seem like the right thing to do, wouldn't it? Maybe that's why six in Blossom

is called six. Or perhaps the window closes and your child remains nameless for life. Yeah, because that happens, doesn't it? Who's the Minister for Health? Maybe they'll just name it after whoever that is. That would be a fantastic rule, wouldn't it? Well, after six weeks you get a formal legal requisition demanding that you go and register the birth in person and if you do not do that

after having received that notice you're liable to prosecution so i wonder how many people actually get done for that though well it's a small fine but i think there are quite a lot of compelling reasons to register your baby's life and name i think also probably if you want to get your child benefit, you have to have done it, don't you? You want child benefit, you want citizenship. If you want it to be a baby model, it has to have a name for the face cards. But actually, I think therefore the answer must be

that even if you get called for prosecution, we know how long the court system takes in this country. I mean, by the time you're actually then facing a judge, you've probably got another few months to do it, haven you by which point threatened with legal action i guess people do i bet no one ever actually gets done for this adele did get fined because she left naming her firstborn for such a long time really i guess it's probably after a certain point considered a kind of abuse isn't it like if the child gets to say six months and still doesn't have a name then it's growing up not knowing its own identity that would be considered some sort of abuse but actually i wonder if you could argue well it's an alternative

lifestyle that we've chosen we don't believe in names man well that's tough shit we want them to find their own name i think that is reasonable to say we want them to find their own name but unfortunately the society you're raising them in is not supportive of that viewpoint is it also i don't think it is reasonable because a two-year-old is going to come up with a very different name. Terrible. Wait, I would have called myself Domino as a child. That's a sexy name. I don't know if I'd want it now. I think it would be quite cool if you could choose a name for yourself when you turned 18 and that was like your passage into adulthood.

There was a space left for your own naming. Your parents had given you one, your ancestry had given you your surname and then there was one left for you. I think when the time comes for me, I will be thinking, not in terms of what name do I like, but have I ever met anyone who's a cock with that name? And the problem is, I can't really think of any names of people that I have met, and one of them isn't a cock.

Hmm. I see the issue. You're just going to have to think of a name that you've not met anyone with. Yeah, but then you might end up with something that's willfully obscure my parents went for a similar thing I think I don't think they were thinking I don't want to actually I don't think I have met anyone called Martin who is a cock

I heard Martin Roster from Gene used to be a bit of a cock well this is it you start thinking of famous examples don't you Martin Amis is a massive cock Scorsese is a massive cock no Scorsese is not a cock especially in the 70s Martin Amis is a massive cock. Martin Scorsese is a massive cock. No, Scorsese's not a cock. Oh, he clearly is. No, I disagree.

Especially in the 70s, he was a cock. Yeah, when he was taking a lot of cocaine, yeah. Okay, fine. But he's a genius, whereas Martin Amis thinks he's a genius. Yeah. When I said, what did he call me, Martin? They said, oh, we knew lots of nice people called Martin. Oh.

I thought that was quite sweet. So it's not like, are there any cocks associated with a name? It's more like, are there non-cocks associated with a name? Who's the biggest cock called Helen? Me? I don't know. There's lots of cocks called Oliver, i reckon it's a it's a cock's name well it's just it's a name that a lot of people are called and therefore some of them are going to be cocks aren't they own it i suppose that's the case uh but anyway i'm going to find it very very difficult i mean i've had my goldfish for seven years and that still doesn't have a name and have you been fined yet not yet but not going

to get in the goldfish benefits though the fish shop should have given me six weeks to register its name because that's that would have been an incentive it's easier to name pets than it is people well this is it although i did meet someone who had a baby who had the same name as the zaltzman family's last dog it's interesting isn't it when dog names cross over with people dog names cross over because that's because it's also quite amusing the other way uh my girlfriend's family cat is called william and i find that amusing i love it when animals have really humdrum human names yeah but i think the other way it's a bit of a problem isn't it do you know anyone called like rex or um yes i've met someone called rex he was quite

cool actually he wasn't a cop it's an an ambitious name, though, isn't it? Rex. Why? Unless you're a dog. Because it means king. Yeah, but most people think Tyrannosaurus. Because it means king. Yeah, sure.

Of the dinosaurs. The point being, they think of a species of extinct animal, so is that that aspirational? If you're an indecisive parent, can you give your child a lot of names? Obviously, they'll have to pick a first name, but later on, if they could choose one of the middle names. Yes, that's what middle names are for.

But what's the limit? I don't know. Like 50? We've got a friend who has 10 middle names. El Toro. Yeah, one of them is El Toro. And it's because he was the last child, so his parents were like,

well, we're going to use up all of our options because we know we're not going to have a child again. But it doesn't give it any more legitimacy for him to then choose that name when he's older than it's one of his nine other middle names. Yeah yeah but if he just plucked el toro from the air people like why have you gone for that but uh if he can say well it was my middle name and i just thought it was quite cool well that brings us to an end of this episode of answer me this not before time i'm sure you'll agree no at time yeah at the exact right time yeah always is isn't it leaving

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