Answer Me This! - AMT330: Butlers, Boxing and Bubbles

Episode Date: January 14, 2016

In AMT330, we ponder upon Air Force One, Donald Duck's familial responsibilities, and whether there's any point to being a boxing champion if you don't have a grill named after you. Is there any point to being anything if you don't have a grill named after you? Find out more about this episode at Send questions to [e-mail], or the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis)Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandollyBe our Facebook friend at http://facebook.com/answermethisSubscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThisBuy old episodes and albums at http://answermethisstore.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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How long after New Year did you fall off the wagon harry potter get a steer fee whilst riding his dragon happy ninth birthday answer me this happy new year helen happy new year oliver thank you i hope it's going to be a good one it will be a good one. It will be an exciting one for you. It will be an exciting one for me. And I hope, listeners, it will be an exciting one for you too, although not so that you lose your shit. Keep hold of your shit. Here is a typical email we've received over the festive season.

It's from Ed in New York who says, A drunk party guest has broken a chair. Well, actually, he clarifies, a bench with drawers for shoes, which I moved over to the table from the apartment entryway. A bench with drawers for shoes. Yeah. That doesn't sound to me like he's describing, you know, a piece of antiquity that he has refurbished in some way

so it has this new function to hold his footwear. This sounds to me like a purpose-built piece of furniture which is designed to be in the apartment entryway. Well, let's withhold judgment on that. Well, I think it's crucial to the question. Oh, you do? Yeah. He says, somehow this party guest broke one of the drawers

whilst sitting on it. This is why I think it's crucial, Ellen, because it's obviously not designed to be sat on, is it? It's obviously designed to have footwear in it. Sitting on the drawer or sitting on the bench? Doing anything on it, apart from putting your shoes in it. Happy New Year, by the way. Happy New Year. Whatever. Hey, Martin.

Thanks for joining us yet again. Ed. Ed continues. Anyway, I looked at the furniture, and despite how handy I am, there is no way to fix this, and I will have to replace the furniture. I'll have to

buy a new one. So, Helen, answer me this. Can I ask the drunk party guest for financial compensation? The drawers are worth $186. Or is this petty and is it just one of those

things? I do see this group most weeks for Tea and Philosophy Club. Oh, and you don't want to cause an eruption in Tea and Philosophy Club. So I could ask him to get a couple of rounds next week and call it even. I know New York's expensive, but are two rounds of drinks $186? Tea as well. Yeah. I didn't know tea was $186 anywhere.

It's very often $3 in the States and they don't even put the bag in the cup for you. Also, I'm guessing at that price, which as you point out is expensive for beverages um i'd say not expensive for furniture uh that for me helps sway my answer to the question because i think if you buy something like that from ikea uh realistically you're not expecting it to outlive you you know at some point it's going to fall apart i think it might depend on what kind of guy this is if he's someone who when he's sober and you say, excuse me, you broke my piece of furniture and I can't fix it. He might go, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Can I pay for a replacement? Yeah. And feel remorse. Whereas if he's someone who's a bit arrogant, he's like, don't remember it, sorry. Then maybe he's someone you want to eliminate from your tea and philosophy club anyway. Yeah.

And actually, of course, at a drinking based scenario, the former character that you describe can suddenly become a loudmouth, arrogant, don't care, so-and-so, and it's just the alcohol talking. He didn't know he'd displace your shoes. This has happened in my life. Not this exact thing, that would be spooky.

Very similar. Really? In 2004, we had a housewarming party for the shared house I was living in. Oh God, is this your way of telling me that I sat on your dining table and collapsed it and you've never told me to know? I think it was a party where you came, you were lovely, and our friend John was very rude to you and then threw up in his own hand. Oh, I remember that.

Yeah, but that's a side issue. Remember the party, exactly. Someone we didn't know very well was renting a room temporarily off us in this house. So she invited some friends to the flat warming and one of them threw a plastic garden chair off the balcony it fell four stories onto concrete and broke why would they do that and it was not someone we knew because he was pissed and a twat um and pissed twats are bad people um yeah particularly if you're walking underneath yeah and it was my housemate's mum's garden chair she had supplied them for our house trusting us not to destroy them.

Yeah. And I think we mentioned it to the girl who was renting the room as the ambassador for her twatty friend. And she was just like, sorry. I don't think she made any serious play to replace the chair. No. garden chair it was was really annoyed but not enough to pursue the extra annoyance of trying to get compensation for a chair that she didn't fundamentally care about beyond the principle of it having been smashed i've been in situations where it's been a party where you stay over and actually morning after people who the night before were flamboyantly waving their arms around and smashing furniture are the next morning on their knees with a can of mr muscle just trying

to make amends as soon as possible so they can leave. This is why I think you need to say to this guy, you broke my furniture. Say it in a conciliatory, kind way, and he's more likely to act with remorse. But maybe it's time to resign yourself to upgrading your entryway furniture. Well, that's my, yeah, that's my angle. So we make an iron that is impossible to break.

Yeah, my angle would be, don't make the same mistake and buy the same piece of entryway furniture. Get something else that isn't going to break when someone sits on it because at some point someone will sit on it again. An entryway piece of furniture that is a bench with shoe storage is intended to be sat upon whilst you put your shoes on. Yes, I suppose it is.

Surely. Surely. If they moved it to a dinner table for a party then perhaps it had more than one person sitting on it and it's not designed for that. It's a bench. It's designed for sitting. I won't hear anything else.

The point is we both say don't buy the same one again. That would be a mistake. It's proven itself inadequate for your needs. Spend more, but get him to make a contribution. Good idea. Ed, it's the January sales. Treat yourself.

Yeah, I agree. This is Will from Durban, South Africa. Helen and Ollie, answer me this. What's the most kind of socially acceptable or polite way of asking someone's name who you've obviously met a couple of times before um i do this the whole time i'm really bad with names but i can recognize people i know i've met them before and it just it still feels awkward and I feel I should know so Helen and Ollie um how do I do that I do this as well I hate myself for it I forget people's names I hate you for it as well yeah who are you I mean I just feel like after 15 years it's embarrassing

to us yeah definitely that's why we wrote the theme tune yeah um Helen at what um and also i forget people's jobs so i can't remember the jobs of friends and they've been in the jobs for that long but my way around this with people is usually to ask somebody else yes i can you know just sneak over to them in the room and say it's so embarrassing i know i've met that guy before but what's his name girl at work did this actually the other day yeah uh it was when i was in at the weekend on lbc and it was the woman who was doing the traffic bulletin she was sitting in front of her big screens of traffic and then another girl came up to her and was like oh it's so good to see you oh my god i haven't seen you for a year do you remember we were at this thing and they had this long chat

well and then the girl went away and the traffic girl looked at me was like i have no idea who that was do you know who that was and I didn't know her name either. So then she picked up her phone and called a mutual friend and said, yeah, do you know a brunette? She's about 22, really, really nice. She was devastated. She couldn't remember the girl's name. The point is the girl didn't know that she didn't remember her name.

So what difference does it make? No, true. She's tearing herself up about it for no reason. She could have checked her lanyard or asked at the security desk to see where she'd signed in. Yeah, that's some proper Sherlock shit, isn't it but you maybe you should do that kind of investigative work my other option for you will is introduce them to somebody else yeah i'll often go oh this is martin and then martin be like hi i'm martin and shake their hand they'll be like

oh i'm so and so yeah and then i'm like yes and write it down mentally there is that pause where you say this is martin and they expect you to and it's then highlighting the fact that you haven't said and this is scott because you don't know it scott yeah but i can't think of a neat way that does not require any accomplices i can great i use it all the time i need it if i do this in front of you it's because i've forgotten your name okay what i do and you can only do this once but it works in industry settings but it's not how do you spell that? No, but it's close. Because that often backfires when their name is really easy.

Less cumbersome. Here's what I do. You know, we should follow each other on Twitter. You on Twitter? What's your Twitter handle? Yeah, but what if they're called something like Funky Monkey? Doesn't matter because you go at Funky Monkey and then their name will probably come up.

Yeah, but what if it doesn't? What if it's at Funky Monkey, the handle is Funky Monkey and their website is funkymonkey. up. Yeah, but what if it doesn't? What if it's at FunkyMonkey, the handle is FunkyMonkey and their website is FunkyMonkey.co.uk? It's never let me down. It could one day. It's never let me down. And that's why you follow like 6,000 people, isn't it?

Yes, and they're all people who I've met at parties that didn't want to admit I'd forgotten their name. If you've got a question, then email your question to answer me this podcast at googlemail.com answer me this podcast at googlemail.com answer me this podcast at googlemail.com answer me this at buglemail.com The anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors.

Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. A question from Niall in Gateshead who says, while watching cartoons with my three-year-old daughter... I finally realised the meaning of life. Ren and Stimpy are way existential. I had to Google Huey, Dewey and Louie... Oh, yeah. ...so that I could tell her which duck was which.

Yeah, you can sort of tell by the colours of hats they're wearing, although it depends on the age of the cartoon you're watching. While doing this, I found out that their Uncle Donald is their legal guardian. Yep. So, Ollie, answer me this. How did Huey, Dewey and Louie come to live with Donald Duck and is there some sort of tragic backstory? Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? Because effectively

they're Donald's three sons, really, in terms of Donald is the sole adult responsible for them. But being an uncle gives him a bit more licence to be less authoritative, doesn't it? And a bit less protective as well. So the joke is a little bit easier that his house is crashing around him

because his nephew's up to no good. It's not his own family, you know, direct bloodline kind of fucking him from the inside. So there's that. And I suppose it means as well that the relationship with Daisy is a little bit easier to comprehend because Daisy and Donald don't live together. Daisy's his girlfriend, even though they've got the same surname.

And so certainly in the 1930s and 40s, you can imagine it wouldn't really be on for Donald to have three sons with a woman on the other side of town. Is it because you don't want to think of Donald having had a relationship which has either ended in death or failure? Or pre-Daisy. Yeah, exactly. I mean, the Disney fan just wants Donald and Daisy to have been ever...

Always. The only ones. Exactly. In any case, they are, in fact, the children of everyone's favourite Disney character, Della Duck. Della Duck being Donald's sister. I had all the merch. And in the comics, because it's quite interesting,

Huey, Dew and Louie made their debut in a Silly Symphony cartoon, but it's actually in the comics. That's quite interesting huey dewey and louis uh made their debut in a silly symphony cartoon but it's actually in the comics that they really come alive they really come alive they turned out to be and it's not surprising when you realize that actually if you compare them to all the other disney characters who are quite bland really you know mickey whoa no no a very important part of my heart but but they're they're essentially nice and they all get along with each other boring huey dewey and louis inject uh young boy mischief into the stories antagonism yes so it's not at all surprising they're eight-year-old boys reading the comic books identified with those three characters the most so actually they became so popular in the comic books that they became

regular part of the disney family in, and this is an astonishing thing to consider, in order, Donald, Huey, Dewey and Louie are the most reprinted comic book characters of all time that aren't superheroes. No shitting way! After Spider-Man and Superman, Huey, Dewey and Louie. Even more than Harvey Peaker!

It's weird. So, they grew in popularity in the comic book. So there's two versions of the story. So the story that's in the Silly Symphon is just donald's looking after them for the day and because that was made in the 1930s that's sort of their origin story but then in the comic books it went back to explain why they're now living with donald permanently and that was really because the comic book had been so popular right and what was established was and there is a bit of a dark story here they have played a practical joke on their father which involves putting firecrackers under his chair oh no and such are the horrors of his

injuries that he's never recovered and is never mentioned again they maimed their father essentially yes i mean it's a temporary thing but it goes on in cartoon terms for decades you never see him in the disney stores either exactly no della and dad, whose name we don't even know. Don't even know what colour hat he has. I mean, no wonder Scrooge is a grump. You know, he's got a nightmare family beneath him. What happens to Della then? I guess she's just...

Like so many women of history, marginalised. Completely, yeah. Erased. But actually, historically it was not uncommon for nieces and nephews to go and live with aunts and uncles i remember reading a biography of jane austen and i think it was rich friends of the family or rich aunt and uncle they didn't have any children and it was perfectly normal therefore that jane austen's brother was dispatched to live with them there was just a lot of child swapping

well in fact novels from that era it was the ward ward isn't there i think but she was a poor ward who was an orphan whereas this was saying even if you had a family that you could stay in often that family would generously loan you out permanently but also travel took longer so i mean i guess you know if you're living in a completely different state in the 1930s it's two or three days journey isn't it even now even now? Well, a duck could fly. That's true. Maybe they migrated to Donald each summer, but that was the only part of their lives that was depicted. Yes. I think those ducks were travelled

by human form because if they were flying without their clothes, they might get shot and hunted. Yes, I think that was being silly. Essentially, they're passingers, people. Would you like to know who Huey, Dewey and Louie were named after? Is it the members of Huey, Louie from the News? Was it fun-loving criminals, Dewey Cox from Walk Hard

and Louie CK? It was the Republican presidential candidate Thomas E. Dewey, the Democratic governor of Louisiana Huey Long, and an animator from the Disney studios, Louie Schmidt. But, in every other language around the world

to recreate that rhythmic pleasure of their name they've got different names can you furnish us with an example

in Sweden they're known as Nat Fnat and Tiat in France they're known as Riri

Fifi and Lulu which is kind of sexy but they don't rhyme in Russia Billy

Willy and Dilly how is that possible because they don't really have a w sound in russian yeah though it would have to be a y and then an i like willy and in danish rip rap and rup okay that's quite hard to if you imagine donald duck's accent in danish trying to distinguish between rip rap and rup that's harder than huey dewey and louie also i can imagine a parent giving their children rhyming names as people give all of their children a name beginning with k say yeah

but i can't imagine a parent calling them rip rap and rup no huey dewey and louie are actually cool names yeah it is cute isn't it and also that baby features that they have i think that's given them longevity as well i don't mean literally because they're younger i mean because they they are cute like kylie i mean she's in her mid-40s now but still the same effect as when she was young there's a fourth nephew as well really phooey and the reason he's called phooey is it's slang and the reason for that is he doesn't really exist at all but um some animators put him in by mistake into a comic book. Oh, so it's a joke. Furry is a joke. Yeah, because they were mass-producing Disney comics

at one stage, obviously, and there were a few bits of the comic where you're drawing a lot of ducks. You've got a scene where Donald and Daisy are talking to Scrooge and Huey, Dewey and Louie are getting up to mischief in the background. You're just crapping out ducks

like an automaton at that point. That's seven ducks that essentially all look the same except slightly feminised or with an old hat on. Yeah. And anyway, in a couple of bars of this comic strip, there's a fourth nephew. So they decided, right, yeah, that's Fooey Duck. Do you think he's the dutiful nephew

that goes to see his dad in hospital? He probably is, yeah. He's probably come to say, guys... You've not seen your father in years. You're the reason he's there. Let's pause now and uh take an intermission and it's a clip from answer me this episode 74 from way back in 2008 i think maybe episode 74 was around the time i had my gallbladder out so maybe i'm still quite anesthetized in it

um anyway uh episode 74 along with all of our first 200 episodes and our albums and our apps is available to buy at answermethisstore.com. And by buying any stuff from there, you are helping support this show. Anyway, we've had an email from Elliot, 14, from the seaside town of Redcar. What a lovely town to live in. What a lovely name for a young man. And how nice to be near the seaside. Indeed.

Just the existence of Elliot has made me excited. Oh, good. And a red car. Toot, toot. Elliot says, Ollie, answer me this. What is the use of a hooked made me excited. Oh, good. And a red car. Toot toot. Elliot says, Ollie, answer me this. What is the use of a hooked hand for a pirate, really? Wouldn't it just get in the way?

Wouldn't a series of attachments be easier? I suggest a telescope, a sword, a fishing rod, and a selection of cutlery and crocodile repellent spray. Do you think a sword would be the best thing? Because you could also cook your dinner with that, couldn't you? What about a whisk? Or a spork? What's the fucking point of a whisk?

Well, no one's ever got a whisk when they need one. Well, I think the answer, actually, Elliot, is it prevents one from indulging in too much me time when you're out at sea on those lonely nights. That's a good thing. You've got cabin boys for that and a parrot. Exactly. I imagine the real reason is it just looks scary, doesn't it?

You could do a good gag for that, couldn't you? You've chosen to have a hook for a hand rather than a fake hand, and that is a little bit scary. Yeah, Abu Hamza's not going for practicality, is he? Why does Abu Hamza have a hook for a hand rather than a fake hand, and that is a little bit scary. Yeah, Abu Hamza's not going for practicality, is he? Why does Abu Hamza have a hook for a hand? Why doesn't he just have a prosthetic? Because that wouldn't look scary, Martin, when he's doing those videos. He probably wears a prosthetic the rest of the time,

but when he's on camera, he likes to look frightening. He could just wear a prosthetic and paint his fingernails black. That would be pretty scary. He could have a baby's head or something. That would be scary. A baby's head or something. That would be scary. Baby's head. Listeners, please do give us a call and leave a question on the question line, the number for which is...

0208 123 58 007 Or you can Skype Answer Me This. Hello, this is Verity and Ian calling from London. Helen and Ollie, Answer Me This. Hello, this is Verity and Ian calling from London. Helen and Ollie, answer me this. We were just walked past a very fancy high street fashion label and we noticed that in all of their shops

they have Singer sewing machines in the windows as decoration throughout the store. Are these all original Singer sewing machines? And if so, where the hell do they source them from? Bye! This is All Saints they're referring to, isn't it? Yes. Not the band, the shop. Not the band, the shop.

Which is now quite a big, I've noticed, global brand. Yeah, I think they have over 100 stores worldwide. And they all have these Singer sewing machines in the window. All of them. And there are hundreds in most of the stores because the windows are big. So I guess not real Singer sewing machines. I assume that because Singer sewing machines of that era they're kind of late victorian sewing machines those are

heavy yes and they're stacked several high in the windows and it's like how structurally that will pull down the window or whatever those things are standing on but yeah they're real are they apparently how have they done it i don't know whether some of them are real so they can be like yeah they're real look there's notes tucked in there from the original owners and the rest are made out of polystyrene or something apparently some of them are factory outcasts but then i don't know where they've been in the intervening century in a bit a few questions that i need to know do you think singer manufacturer retro sewing machines just for this purpose now because this still exists as a modern interesting machine until very very recently you could still buy

an original mini and an original beetle vw okay they were still making the ones from the 50s and 60s weren't they into the 90s i don't think they were making these because sewing machines have changed such a lot i mean these are like pedal powered rather than electric powered and people haven't used those because they're really hard to use for nearly a century but uh apparently a lot of them came from india so i think probably what happened was they updated the equipment in a lot of sweatshops that was probably a few decades behind what it would have been here or in the states but then again i still think that would have been quite a long time before all saints had need of them or had the idea for them it still takes a really odd imagination to say we've got this contract to kit out this

uh brand of clothes stores that you know yeah they're up market they're overpriced they're basically black everything they do is black i think everything looks a bit like it's been through a muddy puddle exactly for 200 quid uh and i'm applauding this i mean it's a creative treatment of the brief isn't it let's take a hundred sewing machines and put them in the window but then to do that in every store around the world when i first saw it i thought that's original albeit a bit redolent of the sweatshops that probably manufactured these garments yeah but then when you see it in a second one you're like hang on a minute what the hell is going on here and all these things it becomes passe doesn't it it's kind of like when you see the hollister beach house for

the first time you're like wow it's a it looks like a real californian beach house but it's inside wow mind blown is that and then you go in and you're like oh it all it all smells of teenage sex and they've got weird library lights everywhere and they've got a live feed of of california and then you're like oh okay it's the same as the one next door for abercrombie and the one for jill hicks and the one in every shopping center in the world so it makes it less special but it's better to have a different treatment for every store i think and i can imagine that when they first kitted out maybe a couple of stores to be flagships they were like well we found these sewing machines they're pretty cheap because no one wants them because no one

does want them because they're heavy and they're really difficult to operate and then they were like well this trope has been really successful. Let's do it in all of them. But then with 100 stores, with several hundred machines in each window, where do you find 50,000 old sewing machines? Like, how would you know that there was landfill in India that had all these machines lying about? It just baffles me.

I would like to know. All Saints insiders, give us all of the details. Here's another question of fashion from Paul in Shenzhen, China, who says, Helen, answer me this. How long is the history of the boxing belt? And why is the prize a belt and not something more in keeping with other sports, such as a metal trophy?

Is it because a trophy would be too heavy to lift after you've spent an hour beating someone up? Enlighten me, please. All right. I mean, why is a trophy better than a belt? Trophies are useless. I'm, well... Take up a lot of room.

I disagree. I think cups are cool. Belts, I have never really thought of before as why this would be. I suppose, is it that you would then wear the belt in other fights? You come in the boxing ring wearing it to show your status?

I think you would take it off before combat. But yes, I mean, I think it probably is a practical thing because your arms might be tired and you might not want to show that off. But also you can wear it and parade around whilst also having your hands, which are the most important part of a boxer right, on display so everyone can worship and admire your hands and see that you're a winner. Might it be that you're still wearing gloves also that i mean some people speculate that um the trophy was impractical because if you're wearing boxing gloves you couldn't lift it and that's why the boxing belts came in however

the first boxing belt was given as a prize to a bare knuckle boxer so bullshit i think it might have uh its origins in the martial art belts in karate and stuff you go up to black belt right so it's that thing of once you've got that status you could then walk around for the rest of your life wearing that belt I mean clearly you wouldn't because they're made of silver and they're really heavy it's more like a cummerbund isn't it

the boxers you'd think would be the last people that would need to hold their flabby I mean really it's more like a girdle which was traditionally worn by women i think he said it's a man from wale but a heavyweight winner of the girdle of the year uh that probably wouldn't be quite so desirable but anyway the first boxing belt was rewarded by king george iii in one of his periods of lucidity um in 1810 to tom crib who reigned as the bare knuckleuckle champion of England from 1809 to 1822. It's interesting that even monarchs back then,

it was okay to say they liked boxing. Because the thing with boxing is I know people listening are going to be like, oh no, boxing's a sport and you have to be a great athlete and there's a lot of mental agility. And I'm sure all that's true, but it is still two men hitting each other. So there has been a check and pass, hasn't there,

where people have pointed out, this is quite a brutal sport of two men hitting each other so there has been a check and pass hasn't there where people have pointed out yeah this is quite a brutal sport of two men hitting each other or sometimes women but mainly men yeah and therefore you know should we be giving it the platform of saying this is equal to uh sports where you don't end up with brain damage yeah but i mean back then blood sports were still like totally fine yeah that's why i think it's kind of notable that you know kings and queens have been involved tom crib uh the bare knuckle champion was fighting Tom Molyneux who was a former slave who'd come over from the USA he'd been trained by his father as had his brother to box other slaves for the entertainment of plantation owners because they were born into

slavery and because his owner won a large sum of money betting on his fights he was freed and then moved to england to make a career in boxing and so he had this fight which went for 35 rounds with tom crib wow like just on and everyone was expecting tom crib to beat tom molyneux pretty fast but it just went on and on and on and by the end he may have broken his hand which explains why he lost and then he died of alcohol-related liver failure when he was only 34. Well, whatever he achieved in his life, Helen, he didn't go on to invent, quote-unquote, a flat iron grill.

So that's why George Foreman's better. Well, it was difficult to invent things with plugs in 1810. One man achieved great things in boxing and went on to develop a grill. The other one died. Who's better? Well, when you put it like that, neither of the Toms have done very well grill-wise.

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Helen and Ollie, Answer Me This. Why is it that butlers are so posh given that they're basically servants? Are they really posh or are they encouraged to appear posh because unlike many domestic staff, they were expected to appear in front of the above stairs people? And speak to them. You're representing the house, right? You look at an ambassador.

Exactly. So when a guest arrives, you're the first person they speak to, you're the mouthpiece for the house. You need to basically say what your master would be saying, but on his or her behalf. That's quite a responsibility. I thought butlers were much better paid than, you know, a cook or a maid. Valet.

Yeah. A butler was often a manager, effectively. Exactly. Well, a modern day butler now. If you get a butler now, let's all just drop the image of Carson and Alfred for a second. Jeeves. Okay, fine.

I don't know who the other ones are. Do you really not? It's one in Fresh Prince. Down to Harvey and Batman, respectively. Jeeves. Okay, fine. I don't know who the other ones are. Do you really not? It's one in Fresh Prince. Downton Abbey and Batman, respectively. Right. Interesting that you leapt straight to Jeeves. I agree he's a famous butler too. He's the best butler. He's the best butler. That's not the question we're answering.

He's the best butler. He's probably the archetypal butler, I agree. He's the best butler. I think in 2016, all the references were probably more on people's minds. Yeah, but Jeeves has really created the image of what is required of butling. Fine. The point being anyway,

if you hire a butler now, you are... Because if someone said to me, do you want a butler, Ollie? I'd say, even if I was really rich, I'd say, don't be ridiculous. I'm not going to have people standing on ceremony for me. But actually, if someone said,

and I could afford it, it's 50 grand a year, but for that, you're getting a personal assistant, someone who's going to park your car for you, someone who's going to oversee all the other staff who come in, sort through your mail, make sure the cleaner's doing their work. And your underpants. And the garden contractors.

Act as a private secretary for your personal admin. It's like a real-life filer fax for you. Exactly. Manage all the events that you're organising at home and caretake for your property. If you're rich, that is a really useful thing, isn't it? It's like having your own concierge, really. Or PA.

Exactly. Or staff manager. And it's not so ridiculous when you look at it like that. And so I think the only thing that differentiates a butler from all those other things, concierge, PA, whatever, is that they have that slightly posh history. And if you want a butler, that's kind of what you're buying into. But also, if you're getting a butler,

you're getting somebody who is dressing in that kind of black tie version of butler. You're not getting somebody who's wearing a more dynamic suit, are you? You're going to a sort of historical image for that person to inhabit. You're also getting someone who in their skillset has the ability to be sneery to people,

which is important because it's a bit like, I think, getting an agent to represent you if you're in showbiz. You know, you want someone who has the ability to be sneery to people which is important because it's a bit like i think getting an agent to represent you if you're in showbiz you know you want someone who has the ability to be really nice for the jobs that you want and also when someone calls to say well that's not enough money and hang up the phone yeah the name butler actually comes from but uh wow not in bottom but as in wooden container for liquid gosh as in the bloke who goes down to the cellar to get your alcohol wow he's really branched out since then. Again, like, you know, that's a domestic job,

isn't it? Go down to the cellar, get the booze. But this is booze if you're a posh guy living in a country house a hundred years ago that's worth a lot of money and has come from around the world. And so you want someone who knows how to treat it, open it, serve it. Someone who can straddle the upstairs and the downstairs. So if you're a very rich person and you wanted to hire someone who

ran your house and your cook and your chauffeur and all of that stuff what but you didn't want them to be obsequious and wear black tie what would that person be called i suppose it's an assistant but then it's weird getting your pa who sorts out your business diary to serve you booze do you know i suppose an au pair is not so far away from a modern but an adult au pair yeah for your kids no but often uh i think middle class households get an au pair to look after the kids and cook the kids meal and before you know it it's suddenly oh julie would you like to join us for our meal in the evening and then suddenly you know she's cooking for you and changing your sheets as well yeah but it's funny how making someone an au pair kind of denigrates them whereas making somebody a butler elevates them.

Yes. But also elevates you and your understanding of where you fit in society. If you've got a butler, you're probably a twat. The cliche of the very sneery snarky, and I'm sorry to go back to Alfred, but I think that is the archetypal snarky butler. Or Jeeves.

No. I think Jeeves, I mean, Alfred, as is portrayed by Michael Caine, is not a very sneery butler. No, but he's old. You never see him, but all he does is carry gear down to the Batcave. Yeah, because he's got a double purpose, hasn't he?

He's got a dual life. I never saw his first purpose. It doesn't matter. My point is... I think it gets the Batmobile MOT'd. As portrayed by anyone, he's old. Right. That was my point.

Jeeves is sometimes middle-aged. Alfred is old. I think when you're old, you're allowed to be a bit more tetchy. Right. I mean, generally in life, people let you get... So therefore... Because often, like, with Alfred, he's grown up seeing bruce as a child and then becoming batman yeah slash

bruce wayne same with carson in downton abbey he's got a soft spot for lady mary but also he's a bit snarky with some of the kids because he's seen them since they were little i think sometimes this idea of the butler being a bit supercilious comes from the fact that they are older in literature i think actually you're not going to be a butler when you're really young it's a job you kind of have to work your way up through the different strata of the household jobs to be so you're unlikely to get a butler who's in his 20s true and they wouldn't have the same gravitas to be withering would they okay here's my theory i think it's with the social function of space so i went to hampton court and hampton court there's room after room after room after room

before you get to the kink uh starting with like the army see all the weapons you've got and you're forced to wait and when you finally get to the room you've been very much put in your place and shown your status no people can't do that nowadays unless you're incredibly rich you can't have 15 waiting rooms to get to the kink but you can can have a butler that basically looks down upon you and makes you feel like you are lower class than the host. Here's a question from Jonathan from Exeter who says, Ollie, answer me this. How many Air Force Ones, I assume he means the plane, not the film,

have there been in history? Six planes and the film, so seven Air Force Ones in total. When was the earliest plane to be given that designation? Roosevelt had the first presidential plane in the 1930s. But the name Air Force One is the call sign. Okay. And so if you're trying to attribute the first Air Force One plane, it doesn't quite work like that.

Oh, damn it. But the first time that the call sign was used was after 1953 because in 1953 eisenhower was in the same airspace uh in a presidential plane as was a commercial flight and as you might imagine that uh really set the shit up them they thought they'd give it a name so from then on uh whenever the president's been on a non-commercial flight it is air force one is anyone else allowed to use air force one just the president's been on a non-commercial flight, it is Air Force One. Is anyone else allowed to use Air Force One? Just the president? President and guests.

Yeah. Very select guests, mind you. The Queen's been on it. Cameron's been on it. But the Queen couldn't borrow it if Obama wasn't using it. I reckon the Queen could borrow it. I'd lend it to the Queen, wouldn't you? I'd trust the Queen.

I wouldn't trust it to Putin, that's for sure. I don't know. The Queen's just going to drink all the drinks. And is it like a normal private plane or is it super souped up what do you think helen it's flying the most powerful man in the world yeah but like you would take the opportunity to soup it up would you not i guess well has it got rims it's got seat back televisions everywhere until um jfk well i mean specifically until um jackie oh really uh it was decorated like a normal boeing but jackie was like uh you're the president can we get some decent curtains in here please if that's right yeah but i was wondering whether it had any special like armor or yeah of course it

does it's a military it's a military jet right so it's a military jet on the outside done up to look like a private jet and a bit like the Oval Office on the inside. Sort of, but with an extra layer around the outside that makes it look like, well, nothing else apart from Air Force One, because it's got that special font on it, United States of America and the logo and the stamp and everything, which makes it so distinctive and why it's something that is so referenced in popular culture. But actually for a long time from 1962 to 1998 there was pretty much one plane that lasted all of the presidents from Kennedy to Clinton. That's good effort. Yeah, I mean planes

last a long time and it doesn't fly that much. What did Clinton do to it? I know. But since then there have been two planes in service. So there are actually two Air Force Ones. You can't be certain that the one you're looking at is the one that you think you're looking at. Is one of them a decoy? Not to my knowledge, although they have

previously done the thing where Air Force One itself is the decoy and the President is actually flying behind on something else. Ryanair. Well, Clinton did that when he flew to Pakistan. He was on an unmarked Gulfstream plane and then they had Air Force One flying ahead just in case

anyone wanted to ever pop at it. God, that would really suck, wouldn't it, being the people who were had Air Force One flying ahead just in case anyone wanted to ever pop at it. God, that would really suck, wouldn't it, being the people who were on Air Force One? The president doesn't trust his life for this plane, but we're okay. Yeah, exactly. Helen, Oliver, though life is full of questions, there are answers you must know. One. There are answers you must know One No, it will not fall off But moderation in all things

Two, yes, there probably is But we won't find out in our lifetimes Three, most people prefer colliery But my personal favorite is Dalton Four, if you try and slip a one it would ruin your friendship yes here's a question from heather from leeds who says during a recent trial month at my local gym and swim i decided to use the jacuzzi at the side of the pool. As I approached, the bubbles finished and three round-bellied men

proceeded to remove themselves from the tub to rest on the tiles around the rim. My female friend and I, not bothered by the lack of bubbles and wanting to feel the warmth of the water,

got into the jacuzzi for a soak. Quickly, the men became agitated, informing us that the bubbles would not start again unless the jacuzzi was empty. What? That's bollocks. Yeah. It's was empty. What? That's bollocks. Yeah.

It's obviously bollocks. That's bollocks. I told them that I believed otherwise, as Martin and Lolly clearly do too, but we got out to not cause a scene. It's a hazing ritual, isn't it? When you're joining the gym, they're just checking that you're gym material.

After five minutes or so, the bubbles started and they shrugged smugly at us as if their point had been proven. Wow. That's annoying. Do they not understand falsification? The next week I was in the same bubble-less jacuzzi when the bubbles started with me in the water.

So Ollie answered me this. Is there any truth to their logic? What would be the point of a jacuzzi only starting with no one in it? Only to further this mad lie Heather. See if you all join their brainwash cult where they believe that jacuzzis somehow operate not just autonomously but autonomously reacting to the presence of human bodies i suppose if there was some kind of danger that something was trapped in the jacuzzi vents and they wanted to get it out

before the bubble started and made it worse i don't know to get a proper clean going on i think it's more so that people get out of it. Yeah, I think that's absolutely right. But also, isn't it dangerous to stay in a jacuzzi for too long? For like over half an hour? Yes, yes. Especially if you're diabetic or have poor circulation. So they claim, I mean dangerous. Well, they don't want to have your dead body on the jacuzzi. One in a hundred people will faint whilst they're in there

and then obviously that's not good if you don't... Why would you faint? Just because of the heat. Because you're an idiot and you haven't drunk enough water. Or you're drunk. Or you dehydrate. And if you have poor circulation, like with all the blood running to the surface of your body, because your body's hot, then it means your head is going to be a bit bloodless,

and thus you're more likely to faint. Have I spoken before on the show, I think I have, about how my biggest dream for my home, to have a home of my own, was to have a hot tub in the garden? A hot tub of my own. Yes, and I think that you have got room in your garden for a hot tub ollie but i suppose now you've got a baby on the way you might want to put i don't know a sandpit there or a tiny jail cell girlfriend removed a tree uh earlier in the summer right and i thought a pregnant woman do lumberjack work uh i let her tell the man who

was cutting our bush no pun intended To remove the tree And I was secretly hoping maybe this is it Maybe this is her saying I can have my hot tub Greenhouse Who wants a greenhouse? Exactly You can grow some nice tomatoes I can watch someone else grow some okay tomatoes

It's not as much fun as getting in a hot tub Like Kathy Bates Yeah but how much would you actually use it? A couple of times a year? As much as Kathy Bates uses it in Misery. Yeah, I reckon I'd use it... Seriously, I reckon I'd use it six times a year and I'd be happy to pay the money for that.

Yeah, but you could just go to a spa. How are you about socialising with the people in the situations? I mean, was it Inverness we were in? And there was a very nice trick here as we got chatting to a really handsome fellow who was sat in there with me. You did score with a really handsome fellow when we were in Inverness and I was editing the podcast and you were pulling it was great how long did you spend in the jacuzzi with him oh I think a cycle oh so just 12 minute bubble something like that I mean that's enough

to both get off the whole way through the section we've used as people do with Hoover for example we've used the brand to mean hot tub but chances are it's not a jacuzzi chances are it's just a hot tub i think jacuzzi has transcended it has it's become the generic term did you know the jacuzzi brothers who developed the jacuzzi technology uh were actually working in the aeronautics industry i didn't they created something like the first closed airplane for the postal industry or something. Wow. In 1920s or 80s. The letters kept blowing away. And the jacuzzi bath was a side project of one of the brothers

because his son had rheumatoid arthritis. Wow. And they had a spare aeroplane propeller. Yeah. It was the same technology they used in the air pump. So they put it into a bath, which is nuts when you think about it, but actually brilliant.

Well, listeners, this brings us to the end of this episode of Answer Me This. And actually, because Ollie's baby is due out this month, January 2016, this is the penultimate episode before we take three months off

for paternity leave. Well, I say it's three months off for paternity leave. Ollie's like, I'll be fine in a few weeks. I need longer than a few weeks to absorb the fact that he will be responsible

for a human being. So you're effectively getting maternity leave for Ollie's son. Well, that's how it works now, isn't it So you're effectively getting maternity leave for all his son. Well, that's how it works now, isn't it? Thanks to the Lib Dems, we can share it. We're colleagues. Also, I need a little break from this show

because I've spent so much time over the past nine years in front of a computer screen editing that, according to my GP, I have a vitamin D deficiency. So there we go. Is that true? Yeah, I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago. So there we go. It's a joint effort. I'm having a baby. Helen needs a break. And some vitamin D deficiency. So there we go. Is that true? Yeah, we were diagnosed a couple of weeks ago. So there we go. It's a joint effort. I'm having a baby.

Helen needs a break. And some vitamin D. We did used to, when the show was weekly, take three months worth off of time off every year anyway. Without even having a baby to show for it.

It's just that we did it in three batches of one month at a time, whereas now we're doing it all at once. But we will come back. This is not going to be like the Bugle, is it, Helen?

We are coming back. Sure. We are coming back. Don't do that because they'll freak out. bugle is it helen we are coming back sure we are coming back don't do that because they'll freak out uh-huh we know we are coming back um and uh anyway we will be here in two weeks time for uh a final pre-break episode of answer me this if you want to send us a question our contact details are on our website answer me this podcast.com wherever you can follow the links to buy stuff from the Answer Me This store, including our classic episodes, the first 200 episodes of the show, and much else besides.

It just remains for us to say thank you very much to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode. And let's see which comes out first, next episode or Ollie's baby. Ooh, tension. Place your bets, ladies and germs. Bye!