Answer Me This! - AMT338: Olympic Medals, Capital Cities and Cheating At Drug Tests

Episode Date: August 25, 2016

Your mother's been given some free space cake but she doesn't want to fail her workplace's random drug tests. What should she do? We tackle this question and many more in AMT338. Find out more about the episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode338. Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly Be our Facebook friend at http://facebook.com/answermethis Subscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis Buy old episodes and albums at http://answermethisstore.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Helen can I replace you with my baby hello listeners from Ollie's house yes we are in I nearly said deepest Hertfordshire there just because that's a cliche to say deepest but actually I'm not it's barely hartfordshire i'm just on the border of greater london really shallow heart hartfordshire yeah exactly we are in the shallows of hartfordshire we're on the hem of hartfordshire's petticoats coco is in the room but she's asleep so i don't think you're gonna hear her on mic today coco is very into martin so maybe they'll go off and just play with each other while we have to get work done yeah if your chat is getting a bit boring i'll go and hang out with coco for a bit harvey your absolutely delightful baby,

had a big notch on Martin's toe just now. It's irresistible. To everyone else, it's not irresistible. I've got lovely feminine feet. I'm not saying you don't, but I just thought of all the things in his purview that he could have put in his mouth, I wouldn't have thought that was top 20.

Yeah, I think he's teething. I say think because you can't see any evidence of teeth coming through at the moment. No bone has penetrated the gum. But there's a lot subcutaneously that could be happening tooth-wise. There's a lot of whining and whinging and then eating lots of really bizarre shit like that. So I think somehow, Martin, the roughage of your sock-covered toe was soothing to his gums. Who can say what's going on in Harvey's mind?

Now, the reason we're here, of course, in my house, although it is delightful to have you, is we can't go to AMT Towers because it sort of no longer exists anymore. Well, it's now on the market. So if any of you want to buy it and memorialise it, that option exists. You can make it into a museum like Graceland. You moved out thinking that the landlord was going to move back

in for himself to live there. Which was his plan. And then a week before you moved out a week after we recorded the last episode the estate agent called you and said oh actually would you like to buy it are you still interested in buying it right this would have been useful a couple of months ago yeah but at that point we'd psychologically moved on because we'd had to and all your life is in boxes around your feet yes we booked the movers and cancelled everything so you sort of had the option to stay in amt towers but you decided to progress with life as you had planned it which is what where are you actually

living now oh we're living in my brother's attic in streatham okay with all the shit that he doesn't use like a cross trainer and which brother is this is this the comedian or the funny one well they're lovely compliment to rick who is very funny as you can hear in episode 200 so okay so you're in Andy's attic. Yeah. Is it a converted, it's a bedroom anyway, is it? It's a proper room. Yeah.

And it has windows that open. And we've got our bed in there and the telly and a chaise longue that was up there anyway. So we've got quite a nice arrangement. When I was 14, I would have thought you were really cool. I'll tell you specifically why. I mean, I know living in an attic is a bit Dawson's Creek anyway. But when I was 14... Katie Holmes keeps coming through the window we've had to we've had to lock it her and pigeons when i was 14 i had a friend called lucy who had a brother called josh josh anyway quite an aspirational name for a fellow teenage boy i think really you're like yeah josh

is kind of cool and i'll tell you how cool Josh was Josh used to get given condoms by his mum because she was being liberal and cool Do you think that was to make him associate sex with her responsible parent and that meant he was less likely to have it? She was just one of those mums who was like look I know you're going to partake of hashish

but do it in my house Let me roll it for you So yeah she used to buy condoms for him which I just thought Christ Christ, he's 14. He's so cool. I'm never going to be that cool. Anyway, Josh lived in the attic in their house. They built him a room in the attic

and he had to get to it via a ladder. Oh. And I just thought this is just the coolest thing in the world. That is cool. Yeah, but you don't have a ladder at stairs, is it? We have really terrifyingly steep stairs. Okay, okay. My sister-in-law said, yeah, I fall down those all the time.

Here's a question from Karen in Atlanta.lanta i am watching the great british baking show why are you laughing that's what they call great british bake-off in the states and to be honest bake-off is not a term that makes any sense no and neither does strictly come dancing it makes more sense to call it dancing with the stars but i laughed along with martin because it sounds stupid to our ears. It sounds quite literal, doesn't it? And they're doing a segment, says Karen, about meringue. Yep. That'd be a good segment, I suppose.

Yeah, a bit of egg chat. Splendid. Although hard to segment off, of course, meringue, isn't it? Shatters, doesn't it? Well, exactly. Crunchy, but then also creamy. Hard to just make it even. You could slice it with a palette knife.

You could try. Meringue takes many egg whites yes but no yolks yolk will ruin it tracer yolk that's no yolk folks so helen answer me this before refrigeration what would the yolks have been used for i know they would not have been wasted as a dozen eggs would be worth a lot but for the home cook i cannot think of a use for a dozen egg yolks without being able to hold on to them for a few days now she doesn't add this but i'm going to martin hold your tongue right i know you have a lot of egg thoughts it's obvious so obvious but just think of our listeners yeah okay helen

what do you do with egg yolks mayonnaise you would thicken sauces with them you could make a hollandaise custard so if you were using say the egg whites in a meringue you could make a lemon curd and then you would have a lemon meringue pie using both halves of the egg well done and then egg glazes so for making pies shiny and bread shiny and also you could just use them to enrich food because a lot of nutrition and egg yolk and they would feed them to invalids so if you weren't really capable of chewing or digesting much food, you could have a yolk. They would put them in drinks. Have an egg flip.

I'm more likely to have a white that I don't need than a yolk because a yolk you can use to bind things like a burger. They used to make paint out of egg yolks. There are lots of useful eggs. No, this isn't practical advice.

A yolk is more useful than the white. Fine, it is. Hi, Helen and Ollie. It's Dom. Archie. Hey, Jimmy. And we're all in Edinburgh

for the Fringe the famous Kia song my neck my back my pussy and my crack opens with the lines all my ladies pop your pussy like this and we were just wondering right what is popping your pussy how does one pop a pussy

Archie I just don't know Dom two gays try to find out what popping a pussy is and we just don't know Dom two gays trying to find out what popping a pussy is and we just don't know please please help us because even the heterosexual lady

with us has got no idea what she's doing she's got no idea Ellie sorry I just don't know yeah that's amazing

um okay well is it to do with the clitoris or is it to do with the vaginal hood let's start with that anatomically what is she's describing you have really zoomed in haven't you yeah well i just want to get to the point here what it usually refers to is a dance move and that dance move is when a woman keeps her her legs straight and her hindquarters aloft but then bends down very far

to the floor thus making her pussy available from behind. Right. Then you might, like, oscillate. So it's like saying that pussy really pops, like if you were wearing a bright colour. Right. Like wearing a shiny suit. That posture really brings out your pussy.

Yeah, but the point about this particular track, which I... Martin's laughing, but you can only hear it to the chair, it's completely creaking. But the thing about this song in particular, which some listeners won't remember, if you're young enough to have not been to a nightclub in the early noughties this perhaps won't have passed your radar except to soundtrack vine videos of cats it's the one our grandparents danced to in the 30s it's not a song that's got any innuendo in it it is it is a precise description it is single entendre yes it's it's telling you here are the instructions for how I would like you

to sexually pleasure me, set to music. Yeah. Which actually I was always a big fan of. I think it's a good tune. Well, you were a big fan of just people being literal, very clear about what they wanted. Well, it's about communicating desires as well as consent, isn't it?

No, it's more just this particular track. I mean, for me, as for many people listening, it will conjure up specifically the summer of, I think it was 2001, might have been 2002, when out early noughts um yeah and for me I was actually night clubbing in Faleraki at the time oh perfect place to hear it part of your lost years what's good about it is I think for any kind of white middle-class English guy in Faleraki dancing to this that summer it was perfect because because the lyrics were so specific it was like yeah we're dancing to a song that's about sex so that makes it more likely that you and i might have sex afterwards at the same time it's so explicit and ridiculous that it's like

almost i'm like a big ironic so it's just perfect just hit every button lick my neck lick my back lick my pussy lick my crack pussy and my crack and my crack and you don't get right good like my position like you do do you get many songs referring to analingus in the charts? You do not, to my knowledge. Not so directly, again. Well, this is the thing. Yeah, you get lots of innuendo. Actually, you know, when you think about the songs

that have been much more popular and much more remembered and still get much more airplay that are clearly about that. I mean, Summer of 69, the obvious one. That's actually fairly explicit in the title. It's just that the lyrics suggest an alternative interpretation they're very apple pie aren't they the lyrics yeah and it's saying i'm a first real blow job i got a question email your question to answer me this podcast at googlemail.com answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com

Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America.

We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. Here is a question from Alice from Hampshire who says, My mother was recently given some space cake by some friends in the village where she lives. Amazing. She was reluctant to have any of it as they have introduced random drug testing at her work. Wow. She is a PA to a lawyer.

Almost everything about your email so far, Alice, is amazing. Fantastic. I argued that one, the space cake is probably not very strong as her friend's neighbour grows it himself. I'm not sure I'd agree with that. Could be super strong, couldn't it? You know, how often does a homemade cookie have more chocolate chips in it

than one you'd buy from the supermarket? Very good point. Yeah, you know, you're more likely to be generous with chocolate chips in it than one you'd buy from the supermarket? Very good point. Yeah, you know, you're more likely to be generous with the ingredients if you make it for your own consumption. Two, I'd be happy to give her a urine sample to use at work because I don't take drugs. Okay. However, she would probably have to carry around the sample all the time just in case.

You know, I've never really seen that depicted in films as a woman. It's usually a man with, like, condoms strapped to his leg or whatever so that he can pee. It's in With a Male and I, isn't it? It's one of the main plot points of With a Male I, that he has a child's piss in a bottle. But if a woman under observation, I don't know even how she'd fake it. Fake pants or something. Well, if you were wearing a skirt, you could shove, you know, the sample bottle up your skirt

and then, like, draw out one that had been taped to your inner thigh. Yeah, anyway. Anyway, Ollie answered me this. Does a urine sample go off? And also, could the test detect if the sample was not human and in fact

a cat which is another option I'm not sure that is another option sounds quite difficult doesn't it in her desk at work so I'm just

yeah I'll just go I'll take my cat with me because otherwise I get stage fright when I have to urinate in front of a drug tester I mean I've got a very good relationship

with my cat as you know and I can't imagine trying to get her to piss into a vial yeah i mean maybe a male cat but then they're going to be even harder to pin down yeah and also cat urine absolutely stinks yeah so i think that would tip them off even if the chemical composition of the urine weren't quite dissimilar because cats secrete 10 times more ammonia than humans well particularly if you've been carrying it around for weeks. Dog urine is more similar to a human's.

Although, according to a site I was reading with advice for people to get through drug tests, even if they have been using marijuana, is that dog urine has a different specific gravity. So I don't know how you can fix that. Well, that's just density. You could probably water it down. I was reading something as well

about people who tried drying out their own urine and then reconstituting it for the drugs test, but apparently it doesn't work very well. No, so this is the thing. Your main question, does urine go off? That's a subjective term, isn't it? Going off. I mean, you know. It's just like a fine wine. But what happens is it immediately, once it's out of the body, begins to oxidise and decompose.

So unless you happen to give your urine sample to your mum on certainly the week but preferably the day that she's going to get this spot urine check um it is going to stink of ammonia so that's as you say going to tip them off with cat urine it would be the same with human urine because after a week it's going to sting or it's going to be very dark or both right um so again it's not going to look right um so there is a way to mitigate that which is refrigeration. Yeah, could you keep it in the office freezer? Yes, but then the issue with that is if it's a spot check,

obviously they're going to notice that it's cold. Yeah. And that isn't how it comes out of your body temperature. I'm just frigid. I mean, obviously the real answer here is your mum, if she is worried about getting done in a drug test, can't have marijuana. That's the whole point of the drug test.

That's why it's there. Yeah. But if she was committed to trying to have some space cake and free space cake she could take solace in the fact that if she's eating it it's less likely to hang around in her body particularly infrequently than if she was smoking it regularly okay um so it could be but you don't know until you test it it could be that even after 24 hours it was flushed out of her system yeah it's all to do with the marijuana attaching itself to your fat cells and apparently if you're an infrequent user it's less likely to hang around so maybe also if the space cake had a high fat content then it would pass through her body faster possibly and if she ate it on friday night by the end of the

weekend when she had to go back to work maybe it would have gone through anyway but it could last in her system for a week or 10 days. So you don't know that. So I would say, all things considered, if she's insistent on it, the best thing to do would actually be to go to one of those dodgy shops like the one that used to be

across the road from your house. What was it called? Crystal Highs or something. Ah, what is it called? We've got a head shop. Yeah, we did have a head shop. What's it called? So many amenities

near the old place. Skunk Works? Yeah, Skunk Works. Is that what it's called? UK Skunk Works. Right, right okay so pop into your nearest branch of uk skunk works or similar they will sell or they might not but many do a sort of synthetic urine for this purpose apparently that works better than when they try and sell you like a herbal drink that dilutes your body all that's bollocks but the synthetic urine if they're doing a very basic lab test it does it's essentially the same stuff they use when they're setting up the lab equipment and

calibrating it so the lab equipment is fooled but the human being holding it might look at it and say yeah that's not piss so you're taking a risk it depends how seriously they're doing the test the fact that you're a lawyer rather than a sportsman i'm guessing that actually they're not going to do a really serious test well she's the pa to a lawyer exactly they're just going to send it off and you'll probably get away with that because lawyers there are problems if you have a criminal record there are problems with being a practicing lawyer but pa i'd imagine not such rigid rules a little tip though for eating space cake if your mum is giving it a try it sounds like you don't have any experience weirdly even though i'm not the most experienced in matters of recreational

drugs, it's one of the few things I do have experience of from my gap year. Wait to see if the first slice has had any effect. I've heard... At least 30 minutes. I'd go as far as 90. Yeah. I waited 45 and then had the second.

I mean, it was in many ways the best night of my life. But it was also one of the worst early mornings. So, you know. It kind of creeps up on you, doesn't it? You go, oh, I feel absolutely fine. And then... And then like hysterical laughter, which was great.

Oh, I don't normally find a lamp that funny. Yeah, exactly. But then complete paranoia, like everyone's trying to shoot me and kill me. Wonderful. Best night of my life. Just one slice. Your mileage may vary.

Yeah. best night of my life just one slice your mileage may vary how many social networks are you on Vibo, Friendster, Parkview, Porn Myspace, Ping and Google Buzz if you want to be our pal go to this URL facebook.com slash AnswerMeThis Or Twitter.com slash HelenAndOllie But please don't follow us in real life

Feels weird saying this sitting in my own house rather than yours. Oh, I'm sorry. But if you'd like to leave us a question in your own voice, don't call my landline. I'd find that really weird. Although that number is. I did actually once tune into LBC and hear Ian Collins give out his mobile number as the number to call in.

Whoops! He didn't even know he'd done it. Because just knee-jerk can do, don't you? Yeah, exactly. It becomes like second nature muscle memory when you're presenting a show, you know, 0-3-4-5. And he was saying, so what should we do with all these immigrants then?

0-7-7-9-5-4-6-2-1. No one seemed to notice. It was amazing. I wonder if he got many calls. Yeah, probably, yeah. And now they're his best friends. Anyway, the good thing is our landline is virtual. It's hosted by Skype.

So you can either Skype us at Answer Me This or you can call it and no actual phone rings anywhere we just get your message yeah here is the number to dial and let's hear who's been in touch today hi my name is lularina from the internet um i'm planning my wedding at the moment and it's got me thinking a lot about wedding things specifically is there a record for the person who's been married the most time answer me this helen and ellie do you mean married to the same person or to different people oh i interpreted different people but now you've aroused my suspicions about the former i'd like the answer to both please okay well the answer to the different people so far,

it feels like all these records are a little bit old and they're there for the breaking people if you want to. The record holder for the most monogamous marriages is Glyn Wolfe with 29. Wow. Shortest marriage, 19 days. Longest, 11 years. And the final one, a year before his death in 1997,

was a publicity stunt to the most married woman, Linda Wolfe. 19 days, longest, 11 years. And the final one, a year before his death in 1997, was a publicity stunt to the most married woman, Linda Wolfe. Oh, that's really sad, isn't it? Yeah, it's awful. It's because they didn't really have a marriage after. I think she hung around for a week and then went home. And then a year later, he died. And she's been married 23 times, including three times to the same husband.

Last thing I could find out is that she's living in an old folks' home and she would be up for marrying again uh because she misses it wow then the people who are the most married are lauren and david blair of hendersonville tennessee so they've got married to each other numerous times to each other since their first wedding in 1984 how many times i'm gonna be cynical here and say much like with the last story, probably at some point, you know, a tabloid newspaper or a local radio station has intervened and generated this. So I think naturally it is possible that a couple...

I mean, it's obviously possible that a couple divorce, regret it, get married again. So it's not beyond the stretch of imagination that even a normal couple, that might happen one more time too. Well, I think in this case case they just kept having weddings. What do you mean? They didn't fall out? No, they've remained married to each other but they have the official world record for the most weddings. Oh, it's bullshit isn't it?

That doesn't count. Guinness says it counts. No, that's not the most marriages because you can't marry unless you're not already married. Exactly, I agree. Alright, fine. Well how many weddings have they had? Oh, they could have one every year. They could have had 50 or 80 or something. They've had 109 according to articles from 2014.

So they've probably added a few more. Wankers. So here's the story. Those guys. Here's the story. They met in the canteen of Universal Studios Hollywood where they both worked. Okay, I'm a bit more interested now. And she said, we were living in Los Angeles and we wanted to get married in a particular place there uh david's parents are from

nashville and they won't fly so we had a wedding on a sunday in los angeles fine flew to chicago on monday and had a wedding with my family so far so normal his family okay why did you have another hundred and then we had a get married for free coupon when we went on our honeymoon in vegas right and then they started wondering what the record was for the number of weddings and decided to try to break it okay i see that that's a fun drunken conversation to have in vegas right and then they started wondering what the record was for the number of weddings and decided to try to break it okay i see that that's a fun drunken conversation to have in vegas on your honeymoon i still think to actually follow through and do 100 is silly that's a hobby ah my parents had two weddings but not really voluntarily they had to have a civil one here and then to appease the jewish side of the family a wedding in israel yeah so i suppose quite a lot

of people have more than one wedding which incidentally which one did they prefer because the jewish one was just for obligation yeah but actually didn't have fun at it at all no fun the g side of my family are not really the fun boisterous hey put a chair in the air type g's i gather that's what happens at jewish weddings yeah yeah it was more of a sort of mournful cynical let's all sit around and say this is a terrible idea and it was 18 months after the official wedding the thing is although you do that completely out of religious obligation i still imagine that just being in a place that has that much significance in history for the people who are there might rub off on you you might think well this is a sort of spiritual experience even if i don't really want to be here no i think it was my mom really hated it what's it is it is it

called the mikveh the the ceremonial baths? Yeah. She hated that. She really hated that. But she and my dad did go and see Masada, which she said was really incredible and very affecting. Yes, yes. But not marital. Yeah. They didn't get married at Masada. It's not generally a good... Will you remind me again which one Masada is?

It's a mountain where lots of people were massacred. No, well, the Jews... They all killed themselves because there was a siege or something like that. Yes, the Jews were being sieged by the Romans, so they killed themselves. That is the one I was thinking of. So that does sound like the most romantic place to take your recent bride slash husband. Phil's in keeping with my parents' relationship.

But they're still alive, so... Well, I mean, they could beat this record. This is quite a sad world record. Bertie and Jessie would have the Guinness record for the oldest couple to divorce. They divorced when they were 98 years old. So you know that I think is fine. You only have one life. Admittedly when you're 98 you do think well I've stuck with this

for this long. But actually you could live another five years at that point. You might as well make them less miserable if you're unhappy. Couldn't you just live apart? Why go through all the legal stuff? Do you think at that point you're just like i don't want to die married to this person yeah that's so terrible i don't want them to inherit i don't want to inherit half the house i don't want people to have a discussion about should we be buried next

to each other yeah you know at least you're making it clear aren't you to future generations and it's a talking point they must have known isn't love grand well since we are talking about marriage and weddings i think for today's intermission let's hear a little bit of the answer me this love album ah you're doing a link segue a seamless link into one of our paid for premium products i am running straight into its arms for a cozy audio embrace yes listeners if the idea of an hour of us talking romance in your ears makes you feel all gooey and excited or if you want to hear about other people's gooey excitement or gooey, horrible problems.

Then have we got a product for you. Yes. It is an exclusive album. You will not hear this content, apart from in these little snippets on the show, you will not hear this content anywhere else. You have to pay for it. You have to buy it from us.

It's called Answer Me This Love and it's available now at answermethisstore.com or on iTunes and Amazon. You may have missed it when it came out during our answer me this store.com or on itunes and amazon you may have missed it when it came out during our break earlier this year and if so it's waiting for you yeah juliet on the balcony yeah yeah yeah all new for 2016 that's what they put on a dvd cover for it if it was a dvd but if you're listening to this in several years time love is ageless yeah also true it's so hard to explain take me Out but the bare facts of it are

hosted by Paddy McGuinness who is a man with comedy affiliations yeah no discernible talent of his own but somehow there's charm there

he's incredible at this job he's very good at this one thing so there are these women they're each standing behind a lectern with their name on and a light

yes how many of them are there? I think it's 30 30 yeah and then a single man comes down to the studio in a tube. Yeah, it's a lift.

It's the love lift. Yeah, but it's shaped like a tube. It is. I feel like that's important, like he's coming down the urethra of the show. Sure. And then if they don't like the look of him, they turn their lights off. Correct. Which means they're eliminating themselves from the chance of having a date with him.

Yes. But then he's asked to do a series of challenges to prove that he's in some way attractive and obviously more of them turn their lights off in response. Yeah, it's like a pageant because he has to show off a talent which sometimes is like breakdancing or kicking a football around. Getting his muscles up as well.

Yes. And then there'll be a video with one of his friends going Oh, he eats his karma. Oh, he loves his karma. He loves his mum. And as soon as they love their mums all the lights go off, which is kind of mean, isn't it?

But then he can run around turning off the lights of the women he finds unattractive. Yeah, so it's equal as well, even though it is horribly objectifying. It's sort of like a cattle market, but where the cattle get some dominion over who buys and slaughters them. Well, we have just seen the end of the Rio Olympics. Well, I didn't actually see the end, but a lot of people have seen the end of the Rio Olympics. Well, I didn't actually see the end, but a lot of people have seen the end of the Rio Olympics. It has just happened.

You'd have had to have stayed up till four in the morning to see the end. I'm too old. And here is an Olympic question from Greg in Gibraltar, who says, Olly, answer me this. Are Olympic medals really gold, silver and bronze? No. Ah, are they chocolate coins? Dipped in gold the bronze ones are kind of bronze i mean

bronze isn't a metal obviously so it's a metal alloy the silver is 100 silver really um the gold is 99 silver so it's actually identical to the silver models and then they just dip it in a thin layer of gold plating and the reason for that is just dip it in a thin layer of gold plating. And the reason for that is price. So with the very thin layer of gold plating on, according to this year's gold markets, the gold medals, the metals within them, are worth $548. Right. And the last time, Olympic fans, that that happened was in Stockholm in 1912. It would cost $21,674. So that, when you obviously are making multiple gold medals, would add an extra $17 million on Rio 2016's budget.

I see the problem. And that's just more budget taken away from the Paralympics, isn't it? Yeah, I don't know what they're going to give out of the Paralympics. Probably chocolate coins, the way things are going at the moment. Also, gold is very soft. So if you made a medal out of solid gold, it would probably lose its features really fast. I mean, what's actually happening now is that some of the Olympians this year have turned up with crystals on their outfits. The women's gymnastics team from the USA, for example,

are wearing so much Swarovski crystal that their outfits are worth more than the gold medals they're winning. So they've got 912 pounds worth of crystals sewn into their outfits. Each? Yeah. Gosh.

But the medals this year are the heaviest in the history of the Summer Olympics. Why? Well, just because of the size of them mainly. So by way of comparison, in 1912 they were 33mm in diameter when they last had a fully gold one. Now they're 85mm.

Wow, that is hefty. That's like wearing a coaster around your neck. 500g, apparently. Is that heavy? Pretty heavy for a necklace, I think. That's half a bag of sugar, isn't it? If you're running up the stairs wearing it, it would hit painfully into your breastbone.

Well, we have a further question of Olympics. In fact, we had hundreds, as you might imagine, because you've all been watching the Olympics and sending us questions. But this is one that I like. It's from Adam in Yorkshire, who says, Helen, answer me this. What do the rings symbolise in the Olympics logo?

And why are they in those colours? Here is the explanation from Baron de Coubertin, who had the idea to revive the Olympic Games. Okay, that sounds like a decent source yeah and he founded the international olympic committee and he first drew the rings in a letter to a colleague after the 1912 stockholm games credible credible source he said a white background with five interlaced rings in the center blue yellow black green and red is symbolic it represents the five inhabited continents of the world yeah good i good. I didn't know that, but I guessed continents.

But I don't know why the colours. United by Olympism, while the six colours, including the white background, are those that appear on all the national flags of the world at the present time. Wow. So every country's flag would be partially represented, unless it's had an update since then. And the reason they're interlocking is symbolic that the Olympic Games are intended for all nations to join together in this

common pursuit. It's a good logo, isn't it? It's a strong brand. Yeah, well, they're quite protective about how it's represented as well. You're not allowed to put those rings on a dark background. And the area covered by the rings contained in an Olympic emblem cannot exceed

one third of the total area of the emblem. Why? I don't know. Does it just kind of look a bit funky and odd? Yeah, maybe it just throws off the balance. Or maybe it just looks like the Audi logo if you do that. Yeah, I'll say that. Do the Rio Olympics have weird characters that look like penises? Yes!

No, they don't look like penises. So Marta's referring here to the mascot. Wendlock and Manville that we had last time. Well done. Mandeville, I think. Mandeville. Yeah, but yeah. This year they've got one that looks like a cat,

but isn't. It's some Brazilian wild animal with animated features. But this is interesting. I watch the Greco-Roman wrestling now. Yes. As a result, all covered in our hit album, Answer Me This, Sports Day in 2012. As a result of the fact that the only ticket that I could get for the Olympics

was for the Greco-Roman wrestling because no one wants to go to it. I'm now a fan of Greco-Roman wrestling. I watch it on the telly. You said it was really fun. It was really fun, really interesting sport. And is it only Greece and Italy that are allowed to compete? No, the Eastern Europeans are particularly good at it. But in the rules at this Olympics, the way that the coaches challenge a decision by the referee is by throwing an item into the ring.

And to make it kind of branded, I suppose, the item that they had to throw at the Rio Olympics was a stuffed toy version of the mascot. So you've got guys that are built like brick shithouses, wearing tight vests, throwing each other over their heads. And then their manager objects to a point by throwing a stuffed cat into the room it's the weirdest weirdest contrast of images this is the one time of the four year cycle where i forget that i hate sport because i actually quite enjoy watching all the weird stuff yeah but i've missed all the good stuff i missed the horse dancing that everyone went crazy for i've missed synchronized diving which is brilliant i haven't even seen the pole vault i've watched all of that and it's all been great There was that guy

who it was reported had knocked the pole vault bar off with his penis Yes And then he had to refute it saying it was not my penis it was my leg I have no penis

Here's a question from Sam in Norway who says I looked up Vienna on Wikipedia today and it said that it is the capital and largest city of Austria

Also the name for my favourite kosher product Oli, answer me this Are there any other large cities that are not the capital and largest city of Austria. Also the name for my favourite kosher product. Ollie, answer me this. Are there any other large cities that are not the capital of that country? Loads! Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what he's saying, are there cities that are...

The biggest city in the country, but not the capital. Yeah, there's absolutely... Sheer loads! Okay, so the famous one, I guess, would be Sydney, right? That's not the capital of Australia, even though most people think it is. Is it Canberra? Correct. Yeah, Canberra and melbourne's bigger than canberra's bigger i think melbourne was the capital for a while though well yeah sydney never has been europeans

went and founded melbourne earlier than sydney and canberra canberra was one of those places that people insult because they think it's boring but that's often the way of like those designated capital cities that are built to be the administrative center in the 2015 census washington dc is only the 22nd most populous city in the u.s yeah but at least that's iconic like everyone knows the white house is in washington yeah but everyone knows the statue of liberty and everyone knows the hollywood sign golden gate bridge i understand but i still think washington's done a good job at selling itself as the capital. It's okay, but New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston and Philadelphia

are all in the top five. Yeah. Number 22! Well, okay, where's the capital of Brazil? Talking Olympics. Is it Brasilia? It is! Well done! I'd never even heard of that. So it's not Rio, and it's not Sao Paulo. It's Brasilia, which is like a new town they developed in the 60s. It's like putting our capital in Stevenage.

Or Telford. In Canada, Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver are all bigger than Ottawa. But apparently in 1857, there were a few cities competing to be the capital of Canada. So to settle it, Queen Victoria chose Ottawa because it was centrally located between Montreal and Toronto. That's a terrible reason. That happens a lot though, I think. Yeah, but a lot of capital cities are chosen as a compromise. Yes. And those are

often the ones that get slagged off, apart from the Newtown ones. It's easy to be snooty from our position where we have a very well established capital city. You know South Africa has three capital cities. I did not know that. Really? I didn't know that. Tell me more, was it ever Cape Town? Tell me more, tell me more, what happened? Cape Town is the legislative centre.

Pretoria is administrative. And Plumfontaine judicial. That's amazing. So it's literal physical separation of the three branches of government. Yeah. Did they put up a fight? Sort of. When they were creating the Union of South Africa,

conflicting views on which city should hold the capital led to this compromise. And they thought that if the government had one centre, that place would have too much power. So... Fascinating. I heard that according to the French constitution there isn't a capital of France. Yeah, I mean, can you name one French city? Nah. That's so

French, isn't it? It's pretty impressive. Like, just acknowledge that Paris is what everyone thinks of. They're too cool for that. It's like, yeah, but we've got Versailles as well. Come on. They just don't want to be that obvious. Is it the one with the big pointy tower? Don't know. Buff.

In this time of purse strings tightening, the internet's a smorgasbord of fabulous free things. Like showbiz news, no need for magazines, stalking your old school friends. Videos of fat kids falling over, stealing films and music. Sharing photos of your nan, filing your tax return. But by far my favourite free thing to type Is answer me this into Skype Here's a question from Ben in St. Louis, Missouri

Who says, my city in the US, St. Louis Just got its first IKEA last year Wow, I didn't think Wembley was 25 years ahead of anywhere in the US But, wow I'm generally of the impression that going to an Ikea is an unpleasant experience. It's all about how you do it. It's unpleasant if you carry all the boxes yourself and you go on a Saturday. Yeah, I would go late and not with a loved one.

Correct. Ben continues, I find the names of the products to be frivolous gimmicky and annoying okay well i find it to be um foreign and fun yeah exactly for example they have a set of cutlery named sedlig which google translates to moral in english why name a set of cutlery moral what is so moral about it it refuses to stab anyone in the neck ikea's website says that it has 12 000 products and i assume that each of them has a stupid and meaningless Swedish name. Well, you've just pointed out that it's not meaningless. It has a deep meaning about morality.

You can't have it both ways. Either it scales with morality or it's meaningless. I like the fact as well that he's just got this source of obcom that everyone else has kind of got tired of quite a while ago. Exactly, yeah. But it's still fresh in different parts of the world. So Ollie, answer me this. How does IKEA name its products?

Is there logic in the system or is it all arbitrary? All right, Ben, chill out. Also, if they sell plural of one product, I know the bookcases that we've got are called Billy, not bothered about the other ones. So if we have to get another one, we're like, well, go straight to the Billy bookcases and not trifle with the Nigel bookcases.

No, Helen, I want a bookcase which is two meters wide and six feet tall i want it to be descriptive not with a playful name well okay so you've already sort of suggested uh something here you've you've noticed that nigel isn't a real bookcase right you just made that up i was i was out of other names exactly no fine so you've you've noticed even on a subliminal level what's going on there. The bookcases are named after people. Right. Right?

So yes, there is a system. The bookcases are, well, either people or occupations. Oh. So like Sturman, which is a helmsman, or Bondi, which is a peasant farmer. Right. And why would a bookcase be named after either job, I wonder? Well, it's not that the names are appropriate to the sub-genre of item yeah it all comes from the fact that the founder of ikea ingvar kamprad is dyslexic and actually the whole way of um sort of navigating the ikea

store and the whole lifestyle that he's selling was based around the idea of thinking differently about how you can sell and distribute furniture that's fascinating so is that why it's quite an instinctive progress that you make through the store yeah exactly and nice one sort of works on the basis that you know people find it natural and easy to assemble flat pack furniture which maybe dyslexics do but i fucking don't not catering to dyspraxics you'd think you'd be sympathetic um and it's part of his way of trying to remember when he first set up the store, all the different product lines. He found it hard to remember chair five versus chair four. Yeah, who wouldn't? But if you categorise each type of furniture with a different style of name, then just by the name you can tell roughly what it is.

So you could tell that Billy's a bookcase because bookcases are named after people or occupations. But I wonder why bookcases are named after both those things and not just people. Oh, it's a bit of a mess. Like, actually, pretty much everything in the store now that they do have thousands of lines includes names after places in Sweden. Right. So I think they've slightly run out. Because when they started, it was only the living room stuff that was named after places in Sweden.

So coffee tables and bookshelves and sofas. But now there's intersectionality. A little bit. But it's quite interesting. Beds, wardrobes and hall furniture are named after places in Norway. Carpets are named after places in Denmark. Dining tables and chairs are named after places

in Finland. And the bathroom stuff is named after lakes and rivers. So there's a system. It seems like a classic mnemonic idea. Like if I give you a list of words and I say, you know, cup, horse, table, lamppost, you create a narrative which links them together. I've got a great picture in my mind. Horse with a cup walking past a lamppost on its way to pick up a table from Ikea.

Perfect. 1299, aisle 50. Well, a horse lives outside, of course, so more likely to go for the garden furniture table, which would be named after a Scandinavian island. So the horse would know where to find it. This system is unassailable. Also, IKEA at this point know that this naming policy has

been a real conversation starter. Not just this conversation, but many. Many previously. And you get a lot of blog posts going, is this an IKEA product or something completely made up? Yes. And that's all to their good, isn't it? I'm sure that they didn't name whatever product it is fartful

without knowing that that would generate some lols in the UK. They have a lot of international reach and Scandinavians tend to be incredible at English. One in five Brits, apparently, was conceived in an IKEA bed. I'm sure that research came from IKEA itself, but it's probably not too far off the mark, is it? That's extraordinary. I'm surprised it's only from Ikea itself but even so it's probably not too far

off the mark, is it? That's extraordinary. I'm surprised it's only one in five. Imagine in St. Louis what were they conceived on if they've not had Ikea before? The Arch, I guess. It is an intimate cubicle.

Been such a thought-provoking show today, hasn't it? It has. But listeners, please do provoke our thoughts with your questions by supplying them to us via email, phone and Skype for future episodes.

Our contact details are on our website. AnswerMeThisPodcast.com Whereupon you can also find links to follow us on Twitter and Facebook and buy our old episodes and our apps and support the show with your money. Thank you. Yay. Thanks. Thanks, because you've got a kid.

Kid needs shoes. Growing up fast. He's crawling already. Yeah, actually, he doesn't need shoes at the moment. His feet are too ill-advanced. At some point, he'll need shoes. He needs a soft toy in the shape of Martin's toe so that he can bite onto something healthily.

Good point, and we're going to have to get that bespoke. Yeah. Not every toe will do. These bespoke Martin's feet toys don't buy themselves, listeners. A lot of classic episodes are going to fund that. Yeah, if you want to get yourself some more answer me this related audio and you want to fund the bespoke Martin Toastcopter maybe we

could sell them as well to a paperweight also remember if you have heard everything that we've ever recorded then there's still a lot of stuff you can get on Audible as well and you can give us a kick back that way get your free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com slash Audible I well and you can give us a kickback that way. Yeah. Get your free audiobook.

At answermelispodcast.com slash Audible. I think that's all the business. So it just remains for us to say we hope to reconvene with you in two weeks' time. Stay curious, people. Bye!