Answer Me This! - AMT340: Fitbits, Whale Poo and Mushy Peas

Episode Date: September 22, 2016

Listeners, how terribly remiss of us to make it through three quarters of 2016 without marking the fact that it has been designated by the UN as the International Year of Pulses. But thankfully there's still three months of it in which to celebrate, starting with a pulverised pea party in AMT340. Find out more about the episode at http://answermethispodcast.com/episode340. Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly Be our Facebook friend at http://facebook.com/answermethis Subscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis Buy old episodes and albums at http://answermethisstore.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When will Ryan Gosling grow into a goose? Do midwives unblock their toilets with avant-tubes? Well, I'm starting this show happy, Helen, because we have a question from a man called Graham. Do you have very positive associations with Grahams? Cinnamon Grahams. Golden. Any of the Grahams. It is basically the is basically the breakfast cereal association yeah that's what i'm saying right it makes me think of childhood well now i'm thinking this graham that's written to us is covered in cinnamon in his own cinnamon challenge of being revolting so i always think of graham from canada who was an early uh questionnaire yes graham from Canada, he was a prolific questionnaire in about 2008 when I think

he was aged 12. But we still get people asking, what happened to Graham from Canada? As if he'd been keeping tabs on him for the following seven years. Yeah, exactly. His balls dropped. He grew up, I presume. Discovered sex. I mean, he didn't discover it. He discovered it for himself. Discovered him. Graham from Newcastle says, I'm currently cleaning out my attic in preparation for moving house. Hey, I bet that's triggering happy memories in both of you both in terms of the move and the fact that you do now live i can really relate to you graham uh he says there's a lot of stuff in there that i don't know what to do with throw it away it's actually like for me my attic is an almost metaphysical space like really like stuff goes up there and it's like

it never existed. That's how I feel about my freezer. Yeah, I've seen your freezer and I believe it. Well, Graham is faced with a lot of shit in an attic. I hear you, Graham. The thing that's got me struggling most is what I'd estimate as 70 to 80 VHS tapes. They're a mix, he says, of bought blank. It's great that people keep the blank ones well you

never know when they might be handy they might come back it'd be so infuriating if a good film was on the telly and all the blank tapes were full and you couldn't record over them because someone had written do not over record is this just my family that's coming out a mix of those he says and film and tv box sets which is fair enough i had a complete indiana jones right and well it wasn't complete of course because then they made kingdom the crystal bullshit but when when it was bought it was the complete indiana jones right and well it wasn't complete of course because then they made kingdom of the crystal bullshit but when when it was bought it was the complete indiana jones set yeah and i didn't want to throw that away because it was beautifully done the box set itself was was delightfully drawn with a with a hand-drawn thing of indy on the front that's a very video thing i think of that kind of artwork where it it's like a very colorful sketch that

someone's done well you think with dvds they went more for just the, I guess they could have the high res photographs better reproduced couldn't they? And then something like Stranger Things came back to that visual style. It's a different world isn't it? I can't remember the last time I taped something off the telly but I remember distinctly doing that a lot. Especially as a teenager it was like oh this is a movie that Channel 4 is showing

that is a weird American indie movie that I won't be able to get anywhere else or like a Tom Waits movie or something that's like no one's gonna sell me this because back in the day the day being the 90s that you're talking about you couldn't just get everything that ever been made whenever you wanted the touch of a button so you had to be vigilant with your videoing didn't you yeah if you wanted to watch the sex scene from casino you had to put in the work and pause it graham continues i generally try to recycle resell or donate as much as possible so i'm not crazy about sending all my redundant

belongings to landfill but i can't think of a way in which these videotapes would be useful to anyone in a post netflix world i'd say we're in a netflix world i don't think we're post netflix we're sending post dvd aren't we yes exactly yes we've gone past pre-netflix we're in a post pre-netflix world so helen answer me this uh what should i do with my old vhs tapes that is really difficult because now charity shops are not that keen on them and in fact when former flatmate of the show matthew crosby moved out in 2009 he ended up just binning to big saxville because of the charity shops were like wasting our time and space. Me too what's that service called that's not CD Wow and not Moon Pig but like a combination

of the two? Is that where you like send off things and they give you four quid back for a hundred DVDs? Yeah yeah yeah CD Genie or something I use that service to give away a whole load of DVDs that were effectively door stops. Will they accept videotapes? No you type in the barcode of each DVD and most of them were worth about 12

pence yeah occasionally there'd be like a rare woody allen one or something there'd be like 7.99 and i'd be like hey but of course that meant that really i could have got 40 quid for it on ebay but yeah no vhs is accepted also vhs are very difficult to recycle because they have a lot of materials and chemicals in them that are environmentally horrific so there might be a local scheme in newcastle sorry graham i didn't check do some work yourself um that will dismantle and recycle some of them for you most of them aren't free though because they are so difficult to dispose of but some vhs do carry quite a big cash value especially uh films that were never released on dvd or electronically so quite a lot of video nasties you can get hundreds of pounds for if you're lucky i think

there might be retronauts who perhaps are setting up a retronaut bar or cafe that would love that for the decor yes keep an eye out for that graham they probably don't even need the tapes then do they just need the boxes no but give them the tapes so you don't have to deal with them separately. It'll be a bit like the equivalent of in the 80s when you went to an American bar in a retail park somewhere in England, it would always have propellers on the wall. You think, where the fuck do these propellers come from?

There's no way this many light aircraft crashed into Hertfordshire. But I think now you're having businesses opened up by people who don't even really remember the VHS era because they are too young. I think this might be gold to them. Here's a question from anonymous from Bude, who says,

I've been popped onto a waiting list for the opportunity of a lifetime to spend six weeks on an island in the middle of nowhere, all expenses paid, having the time of my life. A one-time experience. If this is being cast in MTV's Ex on the Beach,

do not do it. It is not worth it. The only problem is that I am supposed to be made of honour for my best friend's wedding during this time away. Her one-time experience. She has already bought my dress and everything else for the wedding. I haven't yet spoken to her about this as the official offer hasn't been fully confirmed. I'm worried that it's going to really upset her if I decide to go.

No, really? I can't see why. So answer me this, Ollie, what do I do? What you have to do is you have to weigh up what's more important, your friendship with this person or your desire to spend six weeks on an island as a one-time experience. And actually, there is a legitimate case for both those things isn't there but you have to be honest with yourself there's no point pretending if you choose the island that you haven't chosen the island over your friend

you are going to have to explain to your friend why you're not going to her wedding and she is going to demote you down the friend list afterwards yes maid of honor yeah that is a very high up position yeah so it's not just the finances of your dress i think to be honest you could have other island experiences but your friend probably won't have that many weddings hopefully because hopefully this will be the one that you know the marriage that lasts a lifetime i think unless you don't really care about this friendship you you have to go for six weeks though that's a really that's a really long who can afford or spend the time to go away for six weeks? Well she says

I've been popped onto a waiting list for the opportunity of a lifetime what does that mean? If you've entered a prize draw then you've entered a prize draw knowing that it was the same time as your friend's wedding so that will hurt. Unless you enter the prize draw and then your friend

fixed the date of her wedding. So again... We don't know the timescale of both these events. So that's part of the conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's like, you know, you work for whatever, the Institute of Fish

and they have a position in Tobago which you can spend six weeks looking at fish and they've put you on the shortlist and it was your boss's decision or something like that. Yeah. That's slightly more justifiable, isn't it?

Yeah, or if the island is Tristan da Cunha and the boats only go there once every few months. Even then. And she might really want you there. It's a big day of her life that is stressful and she might need your emotional support. But you can do that from an island. Yeah, Skype exists.

Well, if there's Wi-Fi. She hasn't mentioned how connected the island is. I had a best man, and if he had said this to me, I probably wouldn't have minded, but then I hadn't bought him a dress or any garments, and I think I had a more lackadaisical attitude towards the wedding and its components. Nothing was too irreplaceable, except for Martin, obviously. However... Martin had been like, yeah, I'm off to Bermuda.

I've just had this offer I can't refuse. I've offered uh six days in the island man sorry i just can't say no to this i'll go for the first reserve in the event of you actually getting picked for this opportunity is it worth discussing it with the bride or is that just making it a lot more awkward well i suppose the truth is if you do discuss it with the bride in a kind of like, oh, this is a surprise. I mean, don't ever play her this podcast. But this is a surprise. I've just been put on this list.

And it's such a great opportunity. But of course, I'm going to say no because it's your wedding. I mean, it's a no brainer. I love this sliminess you're putting on. It's working for me. Of course I'm going to say no. But, you know, I just wanted you to know that I am passing up that opportunity.

She will then feel obliged to say, no, of course you can go. Yeah, but then she won't mean it. No, she'll still hate you forever. She'll feel pressed into it. Definitely, yeah. And then she'll be like, secretly thinking, why do you even consider it?

Why are you even telling me about this? Yeah. So I think you have to err on the side of the bride, although my inclination would be towards the island, personally, probably. so i don't feel like we've helped solve this question particularly but i'm dying to know what you do decide yeah we've we've answered it we haven't solved it we're not called solve me this if anything we can just deepen the problem by making you think about it even more if you've got a question then email Then email your question to answermethispodcast at googlemail.com

Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this Podcast at Buglemail.com So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday

the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. Here's a question from Anthony who says, After a bear has finished hibernating does it need to do a big poo if so i'm assuming this would be in the woods not all bears live in woods i've woken up do i go for a

poo right let's go for it right gotta dial back to just before the bears start to hibernate they're emptying their stomachs because they're sensible so for a few days they don't really eat much but they do eat roughage so indigestible stuff like bark or pine needles and they lick bits of their own fur and then that plus mucus forms a plug in their lower intestine that's very clever it is clever meaning nothing is gonna leak out into the bedding that they're sleeping in for weeks or months and nothing can crawl in so like an ant's not gonna make a nest up there this plug forms um and then their stomachs shrivel down um for the hibernation the metabolism slow down all of that and then when they wake up for spring uh they go out of their dens and just

outside their dens or just inside if they can't wait that long they uh crap out the plug which can be a foot long wow yeah so not only so the answer is yes they do go and do a big poo but not just a big poo a massive epic de-plugging tappans i think they're called or fecal plugs it's a bit like um you remember that joke in in the first austin powers movie when austin is first defrosted and that's the first thing he does is go for a really long piss which right oh yes the joke being we can all relate to that waking up that joke's still going right now it's such a long piss it's a good joke um but it's the bit that's left out isn't it very often of those films you know like sleeping beauty for example when she wakes up 24 jack bauer never pisses and

shits well he doesn't go as far as i can tell for a very prolonged period but you're right across the course of the season maybe he's gone 24 hours without a piss he is on heroin in series three which i gather has a cost of effect right Right. All the things we don't see. Hey, hey, it's Nick from St Albans. Me and my boy Casper were just wondering, a blue whale is the biggest animal in the world and so how big are its turds?

Now most of the facts that I learned about whales at SeaWorld have been widely discredited recently, but I don't remember this even being on the menu. Unbelievable! Because kids who are a big market of aquariums and stuff are also very interested in how animals discredited recently but i don't remember this even being on the menu unbelievable because kids who are a big market of aquariums and stuff also very interested in how animals shit probably quite happy to go to the baby shimu gift shop and buy themselves a massive plushie turd yeah it's a missed opportunity uh but it is very hard to measure a blue whale's shit because it is runny

and it's in the water yeah so it's just like this huge rusty red colored turd cloud right that billows out behind them but it has lumps in it um and according to a photographer who took the youtube video blue whale poop floats in ocean those lumps are about the size of a palm of your hand and it's red because uh blue whales mostly eat krill which is very rich in iron um but this means that whale shit is 10 million times richer in iron than the surrounding seawater and therefore it is a very valuable source of iron for phytoplankton which traps co2 in the sea and stopping it going into the atmosphere so whale shit is an extremely valuable resource of that and other nutrients to the ocean uh nitrogen etc and also because

the whales are bottom feeders and then they shit fairly near the surface usually, they're redistributing the chemicals and nutrients of the ocean. So they haven't all just drifted down to the bottom and stayed there. Now there's this new government advice, isn't there, that we should all be taking vitamin D tablets because of iron deficiencies. Whale shit, that's where it's at. I just wonder, you know,

for people listening in Scotland to this right now, it is plausible, isn't it, that they might be able to find a local source of iron rich turd in the sea around them i wonder what's the best way to capture it because it's going to be very diluted with seawater you'd have to farm them and then that comes with its own problems don't farm a whale yeah do you think that's what popeye eats what masks it as spinach yeah we know spinach doesn't have that much iron in it. That was a misnomer, wasn't it? Popeye didn't know that.

I mean, he's like those guys you see at the gym who like taking steroids and tell you that they're great too. He looks good on it, but we don't know the long-term repercussions. Maybe he just works out a lot. Well, it's time to take a little break now in this episode for today's intermission.

A break in which you could, if you wanted, go for a shit. You could. It's probably not long enough unless you have a very rapid bowel. Oh, sure, if you're listening in real time. And of course, you know, you could if you wanted go for a shit you could it's probably not long enough unless you have a very rapid battle oh sure if you're listening in real time and of course you know you could pause but then i guess that's the same with any point in the podcast isn't it if you really needed a crap you could have gone at any point in the last five minutes discussion about defecating to be honest the intermission isn't so much the opportunity for you to use it like an ad

break and leave the room and go and boil the kettle and have a shit it's more an intermission from the present to revisit the past in the form of a little snippet of a retro episode of Answer Me This. And here's a little bit of Answer Me This episode 86 from early 2009. And you can buy that and all of our first 200 episodes on our special website, answermethisstore.com. This is Mike from Belfast. Helen and Ollie, answer me this. If testicles operate better at lower temperatures, does this mean that Eskimos would be incredibly fertile?

I would find this ironic since their population numbers are dwindling. His question is based on fundamental misunderstanding of the situation. It's not as if you get more sperm at a lower temperature, you get more sperm at about 20 degrees and your body's at 37. So if you go to minus 40, now you're not going to get loads and loads of sperm and massive testicles. Hey, don't be patronising to our listeners, especially Mike from Belfast, who's a very special man. Secondly, the population...

Have some respect. The population of a community is not solely dependent on the haymower. Spare me the fucking shorts, you dick-obsessed a-hole. Just because you've written ten books about the penis, Martin. Listeners, please do leave us questions

on our voicemail service, and this is the number. 0-2-0-8-1-2-3-5-8-double-7 on our voicemail service, and this is the number. 0208 123 58 007 Or you can Skype answer me this. Hi, it's Dave and Claire from Newark. We are sitting down to a traditional Friday night chip supper, and we were wondering, who decided to mush peas? When was the first pea mushed?

Why are mushy peas even a thing? Well, mushed pulses is not a new innovation. Look at hummus. Yes. Or peas pudding. Isn't it interesting? Hummus, immediately you've reached for something that's seen in this country, although actually something that's served in every cheap supermarket in the country now,

still seen as an aspirational middle class food, mushy peas, very blue collar, isn't it? And yet they are both mush pulses. I've never really thought about it like that. In your view, should mushy peas be the sort of Nigella Jamie mushy pea where you put in loads of garlic and olive oil? Or do you think the traditional chippy mushy pea is actually what you need? It's a bit boring.

It's all umami in their trousers, isn't it? Mushy peas. Oh, that's going to be controversial. I think some people would put some mint in there. Oh, yes. I like it with a bit boring it's all umami in their trousers isn't it mushy paste oh that's gonna be controversial i think some people would put some mint in there oh yes i like it with a bit of mint anyway do you have any idea who actually first in the fish and chip environment said this is what you need battered fish deep fried chips mushed pulses no idea why it is ubiquitous with the fish and chips i'll tell you what i think it is i think of it as greens yeah you know you're brought up aren't you on sort of meat, two veg, one of them green. A lot of them are dyed green.

No. Yeah. Because marrow fat peas, from which mushy peas are made, they are left to grow longer on the pea plant and they start to dry before they're picked. You soak them and then simmer them, at which point they start to mush themselves. They don't hold their shape after cooking. They mush down to a kind of greeny gray color and so then because people are like oh no it's got to be green they they dye it and there's quite a lot of controversy as to whether that should be allowed because that was supposed to be banned but then all the purveyors of those were like you're just going to tank the mushy pea market fun fact i found out about marrow

fat peas though i can't handle another one no you can you can definitely handle this handle this one. I've only got room in my brain for one marifat. Right well discard the last one and just hold on to this one. Marifat peas that are mushy peas are also the same peas they use for wasabi peas. Fuck off. No I won't. Wow. Yes. That's a versatile snacking pea. Yeah. Oh I'd eat wasabi mushy peas.

I bet some people have been serving that. On a bit of fish. Yeah. I bet like nobu does that. Do you know, this year has been designated the International Year of Pulses by the UN. Can you feel it? Until you said by the UN, I assumed you were going to say by the International Pea Council.

Yeah, exactly. Who, frankly, have got nothing better to do than sit around and come up with that as their big idea. Well, the UN has always been very good at giving peas a chance. Hi, this is Jacob, Samuel and Sarah here at Barry Island. We're just sat by the beach having some candy floss and we want to know who invented it and how did they know it would work with spin sugar? They've been heating up sugar and then sculpting things with it including very long

thin tendrils for a very long time Yeah but spinning it at great speed I mean I know you can never really know for certain who first did a thing that's that basic it's like saying who first realised you could cook a chicken and make it taste nicer than the thing that gives you salmonella poisoning. Well it was the day the chicken ran into the fire and it started

smelling tasty. Well this is the thing in retrospect it seems obvious. In retrospect, it's easy to say, oh, well, spun sugar. But I mean, it's a weird thing to do. You know, you've got this natural sweetener that you've already processed to then spin it very, very fast. Doesn't seem to me to be like an obvious thing to do. Maybe they span all the foods fast and the rest of them didn't work.

Yeah, exactly, like spun rice. Probably horrible. Someone must have invented the thing that whirls it around and then they put the stick in it and um it gets cotton candy gathered onto it and i'm assuming that there was a certain commercial imperative to do that because then you could make a small amount of sugar into a large foodstuff and then charge a massive markup on it yeah you're telling me uh it was uh believe it or not a dentist who oh my god oh wow he's creating the demand way to line your own pocket there.

Exactly. Isn't that basically insider trading? Yeah, exactly. It was a guy called William Morrison and his friend, the confectioner John C. Wharton, and it was 1904 that they first introduced machine-spun cotton candy, as it is now known. How does it work?

Is it really, really hot sugar, or is it just like sugar syrup dissolved in water? It's heated in the spinner. Okay. So it's like molten caramel basically. Yes. Put normal sugar in, centrifugal force brings cotton candy out. That's science kids.

But it was originally marketed as fairy floss at the World's Fair 1904. Not a bad name. I mean you can sort of see it looks a bit like um sort of something tinkerbell would shit out doesn't it i think fairy floss or candy floss are more appetizing than cotton candy because the idea of having a mouthful of cotton is quite unpleasant floss like floss like when when i was a dentist yes he was yeah but you're not gonna floss your teeth with that are you you? I've had pork floss at Vietnamese restaurants.

Wow. That's where they shred fine pork fat. Sell that at the circus. Anyway, point being, yes, there was a massive profit margin on it then. They sold 68,655 boxes at the World Fair. Right. They charged 25 cents per box. Now, in today's money, that's equivalent to about £5 a box.

And that's, you know, quite a large profit. It's a good return. And yet, believe it or not, it took until 1978 for someone to come up with an automated machine that does the process. Whoa, really? Until then, some idiot had to stand there with a stick and feed it in like you see at fairs. Ah.

You'd really think someone would industrialise that process in a country that values sugary products that much. But they still have the manual stick putters now because I suppose it's a bit theatrical to see this bare stick suddenly becoming like a little fluffy treat. Same with popcorn, isn't it? I don't think I've ever seen that. No, I don't think I've been to a place where they make it.

Oh no, you've only seen it in bags. Oh, the Midlands is deprived, isn't it? I really want to eat some candy floss now. No, you don't. Eating candy floss is so pointless. deprived, isn't it? I really want to eat some candy floss now. No, you don't. Eating candy floss is so pointless. Why do you love it? Because you bite into it and it's got that fluffy texture and then the texture changes just from the magic of your saliva. But it doesn't taste great.

It tastes like sugar. I'm glad to have you represent probably the average listener because actually... You don't like it either. You say sherbet dib dabs on the radio and everyone comes. I've always just found it... Is that your secret for a happy audience? Now get fizzing like a sherbet dib dab.

I just don't... Because I'm not a sweet, I'm more of a savoury guy. Well, I mean, I will basically eat anything. Yeah, but I'd much rather someone was doing olive kebabs for three pounds than cotton candy. Or my pork floss plan. Or your pork floss, absolutely. But, I mean, you've upstaged me with your UN-backed day of mushy peas. But there is a national cotton candy day.

Oh, is it NATO who declared it or something? We're so packed. It's only in the United States. Doesn't surprise me. They get all the days. But National Cotton Candy Day is December the 7th, so if you're really into it I presume there are special events that you can look up that day. You're getting too close to candy cane and gingerbread days then, I think.

Well, yeah, and Christmas generally. I think cotton candy could have its day in summer. No, but that's the whole point, isn't it? People buy lots of candy floss in the summer. The point is to create a day in December when otherwise cotton candy sales would be down. Well, what about February? That's a bleak month. And it's not Christmas.

I'm with you. I like reading, but not while I'm driving. Apparently that's illegal. I want to listen to Richard Dawkins reading Darwin's Voyage of the Beagle. Me too. Well, now we can do that. And I'll keep my license by signing up for a free audiobook. Let's go to answermethispodcast.com slash audible and have a look now.

Yes, you still have an opportunity to get a free audiobook if you haven't already done so. Thank God, because I am a late adopter of things. So I still haven't got around to it yet. And remember, if you do take up our free audiobook trial through our friends at Audible, then they give us some thank you money as well. That is the best kind of friendship. Exactly.

Thanks, Audible. You're supporting this show, you're getting free content for your ears, you can do it with your Amazon account and it's really really quick and then you can cancel your trial membership if you don't want to join up to Audible. There are no losers here. You're a bit of a loser. Thanks, thanks Martin. You did leave yourself open to that Ollie, you should have

seen that coming. There are tens of thousands of different books and to take up this offer you just need to go to answer me this, podcast.com slash Audible. Here's a question from Alex in Manchester who says books and to take up this offer you just need to go to answer me this podcast.com slash audible here's a question from alex in manchester who says in a lot of old films married couples are shown as having separate beds the most recent example i can think of is that terrible bbc agatha christie adaptation involving david walliams didn't see it could be several so your example is useless to me alex okay i'm thinking of like brief encounter or oh i

know i love lucy we know the image yeah like quilted headboards very narrow little beds with a nightstand in between sybil sybil and basil yes and in all fairness in alex's example the couple didn't seem to like each other much so ollie answered me this did married couples actually sleep in separate beds in the 1950s or was it just shown this way to protect the decency of the viewing public and if they did sleep in separate beds why once you're married even the victorians acknowledged it was okay to do the nasty only if children were baguette were double beds more expensive well that's fanciful isn't it i'd imagine that two single beds would cost more than one double bed yeah or at least the same

then you've got to get two separate duvets all of that have you ever been in a hotel where they don't have a double bed and then they push two single beds together oh yeah even when you call down you say to the reception no no no I want a double bed they're like it's okay someone will come up push the beds together you're like oh I'm going to be falling down that crack for the next week

terrible Martin and I recently stayed in a hotel in Norway which had a proper double bed but single duvets. That was okay. You were very dubious at the beginning but you came right to it. Well, I felt a bit lonely for a while.

But then you got a puppy. Well, okay. So let's deal with both parts of this question. They weren't allowed to show anything as lascivious as double bed sharing, were they? Exactly.

So in the specific issue of in the 50s, was it to protect the decency of the viewing public? The answer to that is yes. In America anyway, I'm sure in Europe they could show whatever the fuck they wanted apart from in Britain. And in Britain, even showing a bed would be dangerously arousing.

Well, actually, that's not too far off what the rules were in America, which is why in Hollywood films, like you'd indicate, I think, is it Casablanca that ends with the cigarette? What's the film that ends with the cigarette? Bogart and Bacall. One of those films ends with a cigarette

to show that they've just had sex. Oh, right. That's as risque as they could get. But there was a production code. It was called the Hays Code, a motion picture production code, which actually regulated exactly what they could get. But there was a production code. It was called the Hays Code, a motion picture production code, which actually regulated exactly what they could show on screen.

And it was things like, outside of the bedroom, revenge shall not be justified. The use of liquor when not required by the plot will not be shown. Obscenity in words, gesture, reference, song, joke, or by suggestion is forbidden. So yeah, it was pretty draconian

although lots of clever filmmakers found ways around it yeah basically from the 1930s to the mid-60s anything that was shown on screen had to make concessions for this code which said you can't have a couple lying in bed together so that's why in i love lucy famously even though they're a married couple even though they'd make jokes on the sitcom about the fact they were a married couple and in separate beds uh they were always in separate beds and in i love lucy there was almost a running gag about how they couldn't show couple in separate beds, they were always in separate beds. And in I Love Lucy, there was almost a running gag about how they couldn't show them in bed together because there was an episode where they and their neighbours,

the other couple, can't remember their name, all go on holiday together and they're in a European ski villa or whatever and there's two double beds there and there's a joke made about the fact that they have to separate them and sleep in separate parts of the room. Okay.

So yes, it was a code on telly. But if the plot justified it, would they be able to show the feats of athleticism that allowed them to have sex, bridging the gap between the twin beds? Yes, if it was based on a novel. So you can justify all kinds of things in films if you can say, oh, but in the book from 1750,

this clearly happens. So in the book, if they were sleeping in the same bed, would that be allowed to be shown? Yeah, so for example, I think the king and the queen sharing a bed, if that's written about in a royal history, that's okay. And yet, that was less likely to happen

because historically, rich people didn't even share rooms. Still the case, Queen and Prince Philip still don't share a bed. Well, I wouldn't share a bed with Prince Philip. Especially now, you can just imagine the smell in his room, can't you?

That kind of 90-year-old man in a bed smell. and pee i'm thinking yes dog as well but at the same time people who weren't rich aristocrats because beds and space were expensive the whole family would share a bed or even a pile of hay and often in the same room as they kept the livestock so that they could all keep warm and they might only have one room in which to live and do everything anyway okay but not by the 1950s no one was sleeping in a hay bale by then no but like in britain until the early 20th century it was common for the whole family to sleep together and all through the time when they were only showing on screen couples in separate beds they were in real life probably not sleeping that way they're probably in double beds but also to tackle the

question of if they did sleep in separate beds why sometimes people chose that and they're for reasons that actually have yet to be disproved i mean sleep disturbance was deemed to be a major cause of depression and stroke and heart disease and respiratory failure and even though now we've got medical things to help with all of that stuff that doesn't mean that necessarily sleeping in a bed with someone else helps i mean when you have a baby they suggest specifically you do not share that bed with the baby because you're going to breathe all over the baby and share well also i mean it can be dangerous because you can roll over yeah but it's not just that it is there's all kinds of things to do with sharing a bed with someone which kind of indicate we're not quite you know designed or evolved to do but also osteopathically a double bed will sag in the middle whereas a single bed can't really.

So you might have a less disturbed sleep. However, studies have also shown that couples who share a bed will communicate better and they experience other benefits like increased levels of oxytocin which can reduce inflammation. Hmm. Of what?

The inflamed parts. Here's a historical practice that I had never heard of before called bundling. In 18th, 19th century Britain and the Netherlands, and I think the practice crossed over to certain parts of the USA, courting couples were encouraged to share a bed, but they were discouraged from having sex, so they were bundled into either very tightly wound blankets or a sack that

was tied around their necks so they could snuggle up together without doing it huh can you imagine i'm i can't be like being on a camping trip with somebody and trying to avoid hypothermia there probably is someone who fetishizes that exact thing actually isn't it yeah sleeping bags something for everyone isn't it absolutely yeah here's a question from lillian in washington state who listens to our podcast whilst jogging uh she says i've been using a fitbit for a couple of years and recently when i've participated in five to ten kilometer races i've noticed slight discrepancies with official times and fitbit times i've had instances when my fitbit showed me that i jogged faster than a car and climbed 100 plus staircases when I obviously had not.

Ollie answered me this. How were races timed in the past before GPS? And how accurate are or were timers? Okay, well, the first bit first. Ever since the 1980s, they've been using technology in marathons and stuff because transponders are much better at uh measuring large groups of people before that it had to be done stopwatches basically which isn't very accurate so now it is more accurate because they can use some sort of electronic means

which is now personal gps on each runner to track you um so before that it was just it was just stopwatches let's deal with the interesting bit of this to me which is the dependability of fitbit because there is actually a lawsuit about this very thing being prepared at the moment what i'm about to read out is the research from the scientists who were commissioned by the person who's brought the lawsuit so you can slightly treat it with a pinch of salt certain bias and fitbit you know adamantly deny it and say that their products work well they really have to don't they they cannot admit that their product does not work. Correct. However, it is California State Polytechnic University in Pomona had given 43 subjects Fitbits

and got them to run and jog and jump rope. And this is for the heartbeat measurement rather than the running measurement. But on heartbeats, during moderate to high intensity exercise, the sensor on the Fitbit was off by an average of 19 beats a minute. That seems quite big.

Yeah. I mean, considering that they're being sold as quasi-medical devices, that's not an ideal piece of research. Now, like I say, that is heartbeats and not steps. And Fitbit would say, well, you know, the heartbeat is just a feature. Really, we're a step monitor. In general, it seems to be that Fitbit is very good at measuring when you're not moving at all.

So it's very good at measuring the rest, like it gets that right. My resting heartbeat is all I need to know from my Fitbit. But it's not so hot at logging exercise, for a whole variety of reasons, because it's quite complicated to do that. I'd imagine that is quite difficult, because especially you're wearing a Fitbit on your wrist, aren't you? There's a lot of movement there that might be inconsequential that it counts as exercise.

Yeah, exactly. There's an obvious thing I could say there, but I'm not going to for the sake of our listeners' modesty. That burns a lot of calories, doesn't it? It all counts. But you see, I think what this comes down to is Fitbit are selling a fitness device. So they say, track the amount of steps you're doing

and then improve on your steps. Actually, if they were to accurately reflect the product, they'd say, see how much of a couch potato you are. Monitor just how sedentary you're being. It's fat bit. It tells you how often you're sitting down. And that's what it does very, very accurately, apparently. So how often, but not by how much you are not sitting down. Exactly.

And it would still work because effectively it's a placebo, isn't it? It's saying do more exercise or do less exercise. It's generally telling you... The watched kettle effect, isn't it? It's like when you go on any kind of diet, you're thinking about what you're eating, so you eat better. Yeah.

And if you accept that that's the reason you're doing it, basically to have a psychological prompt to keep fit, then it's cheaper than a gym membership, isn't it? So I don't have a problem with it, but I think, in truth, that is what what it is i actually recently cancelled my gym membership once and for all wow and when did you start it about five plus years ago no no this is more recent um so this is since you moved out of london three years ago i was tempted by the offer alan of course you always are the offer was you can't resist a discount. Three days trial. I thought what no

strings attached it says so on the flyer. There are always strings. So I went and the string I think her name was Katie she was very very good. Well that's why she's got the job she has. She has yes she's in sales. It was only on reflection afterwards once I'd passed over my credit card details

that I realised it was unusual for a 21-year-old with a sports science degree to be so interested in the industry of podcasting. But there you are. She was a very good salesperson. Said as in so. You know, she was chatting to me

and she was really good and showed me around. And she said, join now and we can do it for half price. And, you know, she said, have you ever worked for the BBC? I told her as a broadcaster, yes. She goes, oh, we've got a deal with the BBC. We can give you another 20% off so i fraudulently claimed membership of

the bbc you've still got a pass discount scheme uh but it was still 58 pounds a month which you know might have been down from 85 do you think she added 20 for every lie you told that seems like a lot like if if you really were getting 50 or whatever that's a very expensive gym so uh the bill came through after a year uh for 696 pounds and how many times had you been six times okay so that's over 100 quid a time uh it was 99 pounds and 42 pence a time so maybe i'd been seven times i did the math right if i wanted to, I could have gone for a swim at the Savoy Hotel and had a massage for £99

and 42 pence every time I went to my shit local gym in St. Albans. So, there you are. Fitbit would have been cheaper than that, wouldn't it? Would have just told me I was sitting down too much. Or wanking a lot. And you know what would have been even cheaper than that? Common sense.

It's free but priceless. Helen, how many minutes should I bake a cake for before it gets all burned and dry? Ollie, how many onions can I slice

before my eyes start to cry? And Martin! How many sausages would you like for your evening meal? If you answer me these I'll be very pleased That describes how I feel Here's a question from Mark who says, Helen, answer me this.

What is the best way to stop strangers talking to you on a plane? Not being a flight attendant as a job uh actually i'm glad this question is going to be answered by you helen because you have a lot of experience with this being anti-social oh my god yeah yeah they do love me strangers uh mark says i'm going on holiday to portugal and i haven't been on a plane for five years oh so the plane people will be anxious to catch up yeah i don't quite know the relevance of that it would be relevant if he was about to say, you know, and I'm frightened of flying or something, so I don't want to be talking.

But he doesn't go on to say that. He doesn't, right, okay. I think it's more just that he wants to enjoy the experience without having to talk to someone he doesn't know. He says, my daughter will be sitting on my right and my wife and son will be sitting in front of us. So I feel sorry for the person who is sitting next to you, by the way. Yeah, it's a real Mark Powerblock in that area of the plane, isn't it?

Yeah, someone's the gooseberry. I need that area of the plane, isn't it? Someone's the gooseberry. I need some way, he says, to discourage the stranger who will be sat on my left not to talk to me. Big earring that says fuck off on it. I've heard smiling a lot as they take their seat whilst holding and pointing to a Bible works wonders. I mean, not on everybody, because some people are like, oh, it's a great book, I read it all the time. Yeah, especially on the way to Portugal, country good point yeah get into a lot of bible chat I on the way here actually to this recording took the Thameslink and there was a man who went on the back door of the train carriage with me and then proceeded to look under every single seat as

if looking for a bomb maybe he was a spy looking for a for a drop in all seriousness i thought two two possibilities here one is he's got a slight mental health issue and he's actually paranoid about terrorism and he can't get on a train without checking two he's cleaning it no two he's a plainclothes police officer and there is actually a terrorist scare in either scenario because actually looking at him i was like okay he looks a bit like a police officer pretending to be a crazy man three he had left something he thought on the train and was trying to find it yeah oh that's actually more plausible isn't it four he really likes copies of the metro he just wanted a few more anyway it unsettled me i mean it's you know reoccurred in my imagination as soon as i read

this question so maybe try that some intensive looking yeah on a plane, you might be looking under the seat to see that your life jacket is there. It's legitimate. You just behave oddly and the person will think, that guy's weird and I want to talk to him. Surely the best thing to do is to find the thing that makes strangers talk to you and do the opposite. And that seems to be...

How can I turn off my personal magnetism, Martin? Well, it seems to me that being a woman wearing headphones is the thing that makes people talk to you. If you just do the opposite of that, be a man not wearing headphones. You see, I would have thought until recent times that wearing massive headphones is the signal for don't bother. You're referring here now to a thing that happened a few weeks ago in the news. The modern man, but not your modern man.

It must be said. So the only reason I'm vaguely aware of this is because people kept tweeting me saying, Oh my God, Ollie, what have you done? You've been so sexist, Ollie. Two ends, critically different. So this gentleman... Who has a website called The Modern Man with one N. He was advising that if women are wearing headphones,

that is not a fuck off. That is an invitation. That's a challenge. A wonderful hurdle to cement. It's just a chatty challenge. It isn't. If people are wearing headphones, they don't want to chat.

It doesn't mean fuck off. Just straight ahead, it's a real baller move. Yeah. And you could also feign sleep. Yeah. Because it's a very common sight, people on aeroplanes, even quite short haul, wearing those little eye masks. Yeah. Bring one of those with you.

Martin actually made his own one. He tucked a serviette behind his spectacles and he drew, like, sleeping eyes on it. What a great life hack. Yeah. Oh, and that is it for this episode. We're recording in a secret location and Martin keeps spying a mouse. There, on the stair.

Where on the stair? Right there. And now that we have almost come to an end, he can go and run after the mouse and make friends with it. I've actually been looking the whole time Martin's been distracted by looking at the mouse. He keeps interrupting us going,

it's really little. Considering he's in a room with his wife, it's kind of worrying. I see Helen all the time. That was a cute little doormouse. You were a cute little doormouse, darling. No, it's too late. Too little, too late.

Even I can observe that. Yep, yep. Anyway, listeners, if you want to send us questions for a future episode of Answer Me This... Then scurry along. Oh, he's just rubbing in the fact that my marriage is based on the miserable truth that I'm never going to be as interesting to him as a pest don't don't be as quiet as a mouse be as loud as a person when you record your message on skype or via phone oh that's what this show would sound like if martin hosted it it's clunky so i was looking at most yeah stop it if you want to email phone or skype us you can

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