Answer Me This! - AMT362: Dangerous Beans, Meghan'n'Harry, and a Life-Sized Cardboard Cutout of Kylie Minogue

Episode Date: May 3, 2018

There is a menace that we only just learned could have murdered us from within. It's a miracle we have survived this long. Find out what to fear in your own salads in AMT362. There's more about this episode at . Are you ready for the ROYAL WEDDING OMGGGGGG? The soundtrack to your giddy anticipation/antipathy/indifference is the AMT Jubilee album, one hour of right royal fun. Get it from iTunes, Amazon and . Send us questions for future episodes: email words or voice memos to [e-mail], call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis. Tweet us http://twitter.com/helenandolly Facebook http://facebook.com/answermethis Subscribe on iTunes http://iTunes.com/AnswerMeThis Buy old episodes, albums and our Best Of compilations at . Hear Helen Zaltzman's podcast The Allusionist at http://theallusionist.org, Olly Mann's The Modern Mann at http://modernmann.co.uk, and Martin Austwick's Song By Song at . Squarespace! Want to build a website? Go to http://squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount with the code 'answer'. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did ABBA just reform for the money, money, money? How's the business? How's the business? Will the Mixmasters ever reunite with Jive Barney? How's the business? How's the business? Heaven and lonely, how's the business? Update on the flavour of the Pringles that I was about to crack into last time we recorded in Taiwan. What? Not mineral water?

Well, on the cover of the Pringles. Cover? On the cover art. It was Mr Pringle relaxing in an Ibiza speedboat. Mr Pringle's unplugged album. On the Pringles, there was a picture of what looks like a bottle of water in that it's a bottle of clear liquid with no label on it. I then discovered upon eating that the Pringles were actually lemonade flavoured.

Oh, well, that's no less weird. Like drinking Sprite and eating a Pringle at the same time, but somehow a little more like a full body shudder inducing flavour than that. Okay, that's disappointing because the idea of a mineral water flavoured anything was hilarious. Yeah. But I think I've still ticked the box on exotic Pringles from around the world, so thank you. Yeah, you're really travelling vicariously through Pringles. Is it too late? I know you're six months into your travels already,

but is it too late to initiate a thing whereby each country you go to you try a different exotic flavor of pringle and report back where are you now we are in hawaii do they do like tuna poke pringles i'd eat that you know i'd kind of eat that yeah but still just because some of the experiences are positive martin that doesn't make it a bad podcast feature does it pringles of the world be the my dad wrote a porno of uh crisp reviews you know come late to the party but just get a big fan base i mean you make the second stage sound so easy they've got to queue up the pringles for after my podcast my dad made a sculpture my dad ate a pringle actually would be a great show i'd happily listen to zach

just munching his way through pringles of the world. What is this? This is a bit shit. Give me another one. It's a bit shit, but I'd better try another one. I'm subscribing now. I'm getting the Patreon and everything. Some other feedback as well on last month's episode. I must thank the dozens of you.

It literally was dozens. I mean, it's probably a hundred of you. I don't think you must thank them. I think you must acknowledge them, but your gratitude, I would say, is tep dozens. I mean, it's probably a hundred of you. I don't think you must thank them. I think you must acknowledge them. Yeah. But your gratitude, I would say, is tepid. I'll rephrase. I feel obligated due to the sheer amount of correspondence to mention the dozens of you who got in touch to say that, in fact, there is a real life Thomas the Tank Engine that

you can actually get on and ride. I didn't know. I hadn't done my research i just made what i thought was an offhand comment based on the fact that i thought i would have heard of it if it was a thing ollie you haven't heard of nearly everything well i would wouldn't you think if if the thomas the tanker if there was a real train with thomas's face on it that that would be a thing that you'd have come across in your life. But anyway, it does exist. And it is actually an official tie-in product with the Thomas and Friends family of branded experiences.

OK. So, you know, I stand corrected and I'm excited and I will be going to the next experience that's happening in my neck of the woods. Do you think, though, that a life-size full train with a face on it would be not cute but terrifying uh harvey's unpredictable actually about what he finds scary and what he doesn't um and there's psychological tricks you can use on two-year-olds that even if they think they're scary initially you can turn it around so for example he's got socks with monsters on them yeah it's a very crude sort of pencil drawing of like some eyebrows some eyes and an open mouth going you know uh and the first time he put them on he said scared scared and

wouldn't put his own socks on that day and then i just introduced the concept of no it's a friendly monster he's saying hello harvey and now every time he puts socks on he says hello friendly monster oh so i just think uh yes although on the one hand the idea of a kind of 200 foot long juggernaut heading towards him with a terrifying molded plastic face um might scare him i i think there would be ways to get him excited and basically thomas is his favorite thing in the world he's actually recently just started using bust my boilers as an expletive what is he like a 50 year old cheeky plumber so i wouldn't expect you to know this helen but that is what thomas says when he gets into trouble bust my boilers right uh and uh harvey harvey now says it if he

like drops his water on the floor or something so it's quite funny because he is using it in place of bollocks very promising Royal wedding is coming up this month. And in commemoration, here is a question about Meghan Markle from Jennifer from Loxley, Alabama, who says, Meghan Markle's picture has been on almost every magazine cover for months. What caravan? Yeah, look in. Fishing monthly.

New scientist. You give me a real Proustian Rush mentioning look in there. Oh, I know. I'm not familiar with it. What was in it? It was like fast forward, but for kids that watched ITv does that help you helen no i have seen itv jennifer says i've heard numerous stories about the upcoming nuptials and i know of a few watching parties this is apparently a very big deal in america yeah i'm wondering if it could be more

of a big deal here than it is in england i think it can yes i guess it's america's first royal wedding since the wallace simpson one that's true They've actually got a skin in the game, haven't they? This time? Yeah. Yeah, they get excited anyway about royal weddings. I hadn't even really thought of it from an American perspective. But I suppose it is. Yeah, that's it's actually the Disney princess thing, isn't it? It's someone of it's one of theirs marrying into a genuine bona fide royal family. Well, Jennifer says, I've been wondering something about this wedding. Ollie, answer me this. Does Meghan have to give up her American citizenship when she marries Harry? And if she keeps her American citizenship, will their children be

citizens of both countries? According to the palace, she is going to go through the whole process of becoming a UK citizen and she's not going to have any special privileges. Yeah, right. Like they're going to chuck her out. But anyway, she is going to do it all kosher. So that actually takes a number of years. She would have had to have applied for a family visa as the fiance of a Brit. Having obtained a family visa, you have to get married within six months to then be considered as a British citizen. The timing of the wedding does coincide with that. So although I'm sure the royal family could pull the right strings, if necessary, to get her to stay in the country, they are actually getting married within the usual six months of having obtained a family visa. Just. So anyway, assuming that Meghan does qualify for

British citizenship, I'd assume that she would choose. And I know that I have no basis for this but with the royal family you always just assume what they think that's the great thing about them you can just project onto them she's a royal we won't know because she won't be allowed to speak anymore but I assume that she would choose to maintain her American citizenship as well and be a dual citizen at which point yes their children would be joint citizens of two countries but they would be in line to the throne of britain so i i imagine they they might relinquish their american citizenship if it conflicted with them ascending to the throne i.e if we were in a war with america but given that wills and kate keep cranking out the kids yeah harry and megan's kids are not going

to have to be on the throne i shouldn't imagine no but if you had to choose your royal parents i think harry and megan oh undoubtedly it's gonna be a fun time yeah you're not going to have to be on the throne. I shouldn't imagine, no. But if you had to choose your royal parents, I think Harry and Meghan... Oh, undoubtedly. It's going to be a fun time. Yeah. You're not going to choose Princess Michael, are you? Oh God, what's Princess Michael going to wear, given that the first time she met Meghan,

she was wearing that blackface brooch? What's she going to wear to the wedding? Like a full gollywog outfit? One thing, listeners, that you could obtain to enhance your enjoyment of this wedding of people that we don't know is um listen to the answer me this jubilee album an hour of stuff about the royals that we made in 2012 for queen elizabeth's jubilee but stays evergreen still just as relevant isn't it because same shit different day in the palace isn't it yeah they don't have significant ios updates to the monarchy answer me this store.com

is where you go for all your answer me this album needs including that one well we've got a question about true royalty on the phone line hi helen and ollie in What in the Sound Guy. My husband and I, we noticed the Kylie Minogue range of glasses comes with a promotional cardboard cutout of Kylie in store. I can't get it out of my head, pun entirely intended.

My husband's covering his mouth in distress at the moment. My terrible joke. But are the cutouts in Specsavers of her life size, is that her actual height? It's driving me mad. Cool. Let me know. Thank you. Bye. There's a Kylie Minogue range in Specsavers. Yes. I think a lot of you will just have to let that information settle in before I deal with the answer. It's nice. I like it. If a Kylie Minogue range of glasses had to exist, I think they've

done as good a job as you could possibly do with that brief however if you said to me okay name a celebrity who's famous for wearing specs yes I was trying to remember if I'd ever seen Kylie wear specs that weren't sunglasses well I mean on her current album artwork and video I mean bearing in mind she has now a range of glasses in spec savers she isn't wearing glasses at all son or otherwise well maybe she only has to wear them for reading and computer work when you think about it it's quite hard to think about celebrities that are always in glasses isn't it i mean who is there prulise prulise is a spectacles icon yeah sue perkins good call but it's always the same style so you wouldn't want a glasses range from

sue perkins you would just want a glasses range from Sue Perkins. You would just want the one true Sue Perkins pair of glasses. Actually, oh, I've got another one. I've got another one. Brains from Thunderbird. What about Elton John? Did he ever have a line of glasses? Yeah, Elton John was a good one.

Yeah, no. Or Timmy Mallet. Elton John's an interesting one because like in the 70s, he was known for outrageous glasses that no one would wear because they're crazy but now i can see i guess essentially elderly gay men like elton john would wear elton john glasses wouldn't they so actually it's not a crazy idea you know how um trevor mcdonald does the ads for vision express i don't it's oh it's really po-faced like actually almost offensive like he only gets away with it because it's trevor mcdonald but the advert's like i was there when the wall came down.

Cut to clip of the Berlin Wall falling down. I was there when important moments were made. Cut to Nelson Mandela giving a speech. And I saw all this through my Vision Express classes, which you get a second pair for 20 pounds. That's it. Yep, that's the message of the ad. And it does cheapen like the last, you know,

70 years of current affairs reporting that Trev MacDonald's been part of. Kylie has no such qualms. But I just wonder whether actually now, because of this Kylie range in Specsavers, Vision Express might want to up the ante and get a Sir Trev range. But have you been into Specsavers and seen a cardboard Kylie? I have.

And is it a five foot tall cardboard Kylie or 152.4 centimetres tall Kylie? It is. It is a life-size cutout of Kylie Minogue. According to the Specsavers website, it is a life-size cutout. I must say, I didn't measure it when I was there, but it does seem to be about five feet. Yes, I would say a foot and a bit smaller than me. Yes. Life-size in the form of cutouts or statues often seems smaller than life size. So I'm surprised they didn't increase her by, say, 10% to appear more like life size.

But then they couldn't say it was life size and they wanted their press release to say life size. It's clever of them to have the cardboard cutout because it means loads of people will be doing Specsavers publicity for them by taking pictures of themselves with Kylie. Posting them, ha ha, look at me, I'm with Kylie. And also what's great is she's in a glamorous sparkly gold dress. You know, like she's presenting at the Brits or something.

Yeah, she's Kylie, right? That's what she sleeps in. I don't know. I can't put my finger on why it's funny, but there's something funny about that in a drab branch of Specsavers with a lot of Spec savers employees around her kylie's height is a matter of some dispute it's usually listed as five foot one but i found this

quote from danny minogue her sister in a smash hits interview a credible source where she is asked tell us something surprising about kylie and danny replies she lies about her height kylie always says she's five foot one inch, but she is so not. She is actually five foot. Five foot actually sounds like a Stock Aitken and Waterman boy band that she might have worked with back in the day. I think Stock Aitken and Waterman didn't make the mistake of putting numbers in their band titles

because they know that sometimes you have to throw out a band member or people leave. I'm thinking now whether there were any. Yeah. Big fun. Didn't say now whether there were any. Yeah. Big fun. Didn't say how much fun was required. Yeah. Banana-rama.

Could be a duet, couldn't it? Could be a bunch of bananas. Could be a single banana. Could be a diorama of bananas. If you've got a question, then email your question Thank you. Podcast at googlemail.com Answer me this podcast at googlemail.com So retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History? On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the that ripped off an iconic American car.

On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on Today in History with The Retrospectors. Ten minutes each weekday, wherever you get your podcasts. Time for a question from Liz, who says, I'm an American living in Germany. The other day I was having lunch at work and I was eating some fresh green beans.

When she says fresh green beans... I'm picturing like runner beans, string beans, French beans. A slender green bean. That's what I'm imagining, but green beans is not exact maybe liz could have been a bit more specific if what we're doing is critiquing her wording yeah bearing in mind her question is one of science and gardening i think she should have been more specific bean science get ready for our bean science question of the month she says my colleagues asked if the beans were raw and i said yes i picked them from my garden this morning She says, Goodbye, Liz, forever.

Then they went on to list the symptoms, saying that ingesting just three raw green beans could give you nausea, terrible stomach pain and bloody diarrhea. If you do want to eat green beans, they said you have to cook them all the way through until they're no longer crunchy. No longer worth eating. It appears to be Liz's view as well, Helen. Yeah, I don't like a soft bean. No, and I don't like a bloody diarrhea.

So what are you going to do? You've got to choose between the two. She says, I've eaten raw and al dente green beans many times before. I've never had bloody diarrhea. Bloody diarrhea. Bloody diarrhea. I've never bloody had bloody diarrhea. Bloody nonsense.

I've asked many Germans about this, and they have almost all said that you can't eat raw green beans. All the North Americans that I've asked, though, have said that they are a great healthy snack. Although, I mean, in America, there are chocolate bars that are marketed that way. So, Helen, answer me this. Which is it? Are green beans different in Europe? Am I building up a dangerous level of toxins in my body and will I die, writhing in agony and cursing green beans different in Europe? Am I building up a dangerous level of toxins in my body and will I die writhing in agony and cursing green beans? Or is this simply some sort of German old wives tale?

And in fact, I can keep eating raw green beans and be fine. Well, you evidently are fine from eating the green beans, Liz. So you're talking about beans a lot. Maybe it's affected you a bit. It's not really a representative sample of things that liz is willing to talk about ollie she's emailed us specifically about green beans let's not judge her total discourse on one email with the one hand i'm criticizing her for not enough detail on the other hand i'm saying she's written so much about beans i worry for her health i mean she can't win when i googled whether green beans are toxic because i had never heard of this,

Germany did come up a lot as a place that believes green beans are very poisonous and should be boiled to shit just to be safe. So is there a correlation between people that think David Hasselhoff is a singer and people who think it's dangerous to eat raw green beans? Maybe that's the thing. Like if you eat the raw green beans, you are a bit poisoned, but you don't think David Hasselhoff is aff is a singer yeah exactly which do you want to be your colleagues are right though that green beans are poisonous okay but they're wrong that eating three is likely

to kill you well some people are more susceptible but given that you have proven to yourself liz over years of bean studies administered to yourself yeah you are evidently not especially susceptible to the ill effects of green beans and also fresh beans that you've just picked yourself are less toxic than beans that are older or dried so all beans are a bit. And particularly the dried ones like kidney beans, lima beans, that's why you have to soak them overnight before you can use them and cook them. Yeah. Yeah. I always wonder about the soaking thing. Yeah. Well, kidney beans can really fuck you up and lima beans because like some of them, they've got cyanide in. Soaking and cooking breaks that down. But beans have a protein in them.

Couldn't even get like a consensus on what that protein is. People had like a lot of different ideas about what that protein is. But let's say lectin. And that protein can cause you upsets until it is cooked. And the concentration is less in a fresh new bean from Liz's garden. I wonder whether this is something that is particular to German beans, though. I mean, have you found any research that perhaps the beans in Germany are particularly toxic and that's why Germans are so cautious no I don't think it's particular to German beans but I wonder whether Germany had like a health and safety PSA on television like Britain used to have about flying kites near pylons and America and Britain have not had that bean PSA. Or possibly during the war, because, you know, I don't know how it was in Germany,

but in Britain during the Blitz, especially, there was a lot of, you know, grow your own vegetables, do your own bit, potato peat, all of that, right? Because food's being rationed. I imagine that was the same in the German cities that we were bombing the fuck out of. So maybe there, they were like, don't eat the beans uh you know cook for yourself but whatever you do don't eat like maybe it was government advice at some stage when food was short during the war don't eat the beans and that stuck around it's plausible isn't it now everyone i know that grows vegetables always seems to have absolute fuck tons of green beans yeah and i'm

always like why don't you plant fewer beans but the reason why the beans have this toxic protein in is to stop them being eaten by animals so maybe it is just that green beans are a thing to grow in your garden that the animals won't eat whereas they'll take all of your bok choy and stuff like that i read this um horrible um story from this woman saying i didn't know that beans are supposed to be toxic and i made falafels out of unsoaked kidney beans and they were really delicious and then my husband and i were doubled over vomiting blood wow jeez i was reading national geographic food magazine the other day as one does fun i was reading about hummus recipes how many different ways are there to squash up a

chickpea well exactly and you'd think actually for a magazine that's all about yeah travel the world see everything that it has to offer like their culinary piece about essentially all of the middle east from syria to israel to iran to lebanon was about hummus but anyway um what it said was try making hummus using different peas and i thought thought, fuck, I've never thought about that before. You haven't. Would you entertain that idea, Helen? Well, it's not technically a hummus, is it?

It's a lentil paste or a broad bean. They disagree. Yeah, absolutely. One of my favourite restaurants in London, El Parador, where I've been to with you, I believe, they serve a really delicious hummus-like dish, which is broad beans and garlic. Really changed my attitude towards broad beans, which are otherwise absolutely lacking in any merits. Sure.

And now I know they're poisonous, I feel much more comfortable in slagging them off. You feel validated, yeah. Yeah. So bean paste are a common factor in so many cuisines. So yes, I would. I'm open. What you appear to be saying is,

if you take chickpeas away, it's not hummus. That's the thing that makes it hummus, right? Everything else is negotiable, but it has to be chick is if you take chickpeas away it's not hummus that's the thing that makes it hummus right everything else is negotiable but it has to be chickpeas yeah but if if national geographic uh food magazine have their way helen and the world starts using different pulses puts baked beans in it calls it hummus oh come on i know they're a very influential organ they can't use their power for ill my concern would be where would it end you know then anything can be hummus eggs are hummus if you start doing that. Well, it's paradise for you because you love hummus.

Yeah, but I, you know, what I'm saying is if we get into a world where people take a sardine and mash it up with, you know, garlic, tahini and lemon juice and call it hummus, I'm killing myself. You really fear change, don't you? I'm just, I'm very pure in what I believe. Any little bit of change to hummus could open a gate to hummus anarchy until the world is just a paste. Everything is paste. I'm just, I'm very pure in what I believe. Any little bit of change to hummus could open a gate to hummus anarchy.

Until the world is just a paste. Everything is paste. I'm trying to build a website to bring tourists to Radlet. But when I open it up on my smartphone or tablet, something goes wrong and it just looks a bit shit. Unlike Hertfordshire itself Well try building that website using Squarespace On desktop and devices it will look simply ace As well designed as Hertfordshire with all that lovely green space County of Opportunity and Stevenage

Thank you very much to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of Answer Me This. Yes, thank you, Squarespace, and your award-winning design templates. Do you know they've won two awards this month, Helen? Geez! They have won two. Actually, they've won more than two. They've won five across two different award ceremonies. They've won two Webby Awards and three dnd design awards wow is that dungeons and

dragons thing yeah because if you like dnd you could set up your dnd website on squarespace they've probably got a special template i'd put my dnd campaign on squarespace if i had ever played dnd and had a campaign i bet you played dnd i've never played dnd this surprises me but maybe with squarespace i can learn so if if you have an idea for a website or you'd like to create a website to promote your existing business or whatever you're doing go to squarespace.com answer and take out a free trial and play around yeah you can use those award-winning templates for yourself and you think this is what it feels like to be award-winning you can be award-winning by proxy this is what it feels like to be touched

by greatness critical approval and if you want to keep the website that you've made during that two-week free trial then sign up for squarespace at squarespace.com answer and you can get 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain if you use our code answer hi helena nollie it's tim from bath i've been pondering about the difference between mazes and labyrinths Answer! from roots through them, but labyrinths are unicursal in that there is only one route in and out. So my question is this. When Theseus was going into the labyrinth to fight the Minotaur, why did he need the ball of string? And I guess, more importantly, how did the Minotaur never find its way out?

Well, firstly, I think that this distinction between mazes and labyrinths, that in a maze there are several different routes, some of which are incorrect, I think that is a latter-day distinction, just to justify the fact that we have these two words to essentially mean the same thing. In the labyrinth, there may have been a lot of dead ends. And in fact, it's been described as there being a lot of false roots. So the string would have been expedient as it would be in what we now call a maze. You know, I remember Theseus and the Minotaur vaguely. It's a good story. But many of our listeners won't know this myth.

So can you just give us the absolute basic version the string was it was to help him get him out of the maze like hansel and gretel's pebbles yes exactly the minotaur was the son of king minos who i think was a real king and there are ruins of his palace on crete but not a ruin of the labyrinth king minos's wife pacify fell in love with a bull like a mythical glorious bull and they had sex and she bore a child didn't she hide inside like a wooden cow to pretend to be a cow yeah she tricked the bull into having sex with her and she gave birth to the minotaur a half human half bull seriously and you thought our royal family was weird from babyhood the minotaur was uh rather vicious and dangerous who'd have thunk half bull

half boy they got didalus the uh the famous mythical sculptor to build a labyrinth to keep him in why not just a cage like at that point i know it's an allegory but why not just put him in a cage and also i was wondering the, the mythical Greeks are pretty vicious. They probably wouldn't have that many qualms about killing their own hybrid bull child, especially King Minos, because he was like, wife's cheated on me with a bull, going to kill the child.

Yeah, sacrifice him, put him on the barbecue, bit of entertainment whilst we're watching Sophocles. But instead kept him in a labyrinth. I mean, forget Theseus and the string. The Minotaur has had nothing to do really, except find his way out of the maze and he hasn't so either it's too difficult or he doesn't want to and let's think about it the bull has not been given a human upbringing or education he's been kept inside a labyrinth

he's not developed problem solving skills he's probably not that bright if it's a hybrid between a cow and a person presumably his intelligence is somewhere between a cow and a person. Presumably his intelligence is somewhere between a cow and a person. Cows are not known for their intelligence and their maze-solving skills. So anyway, you've got this bull in a maze. Due to political chicanery, people have to send King Minos a sacrifice of seven young men and women for the bull to kill and eat. One of the dispatches includes Theseus, the son of the Greek king Aegeus. And Ariadne, who is Minos' human daughter, not half Frisian or anything,

she falls in love with Theseus and she doesn't want him to die being ripped apart in a labyrinth. So she gives him string to find his way out. But maybe Ariadne knows that bulls respond to motion, so perhaps he can't see string that is stationary and he's distracted trying to kill and eat the humans. But also there's that thing in mazes where you sort of double up on yourself don't you so if a piece of string was following you around you'd end up I'd imagine at some stage going back and seeing three bits of string layered on top of each other you'd have to remember which direction it came in. Yeah, it's not a straightforward way out. I have a lot of questions about the labyrinth.

For instance, is it just full of piles of bullshit? And is it cleaned regularly? Because there'd be a lot of human remains in it from the sacrifices. Yeah, it'd stink, wouldn't it? I wonder if they have movable gates so they could partition off the minotaur into a certain part of the labyrinth

so cleaners could come in and, like, get rid of all the dead bodies and bullshit. And is David Bowie in it wearing a leotard? Then that's a maze that a lot of people would like to be in. Yeah. Here's a question from Jeff in Dallas in Texas who says, Helen, answer me this, why do God Bless America and God Save the Queen have the same music they don't i think he

means my country tis of thee doesn't he i think he does god bless america is a different song isn't it yes my country tears of thee here's a shocker this tune has been used by at various points, the Kingdom of Hawaii, Russia, France, Germany, Switzerland, Norway, Sweden, Siam, Liechtenstein, Iceland, and a bunch of other countries for anthems national, state, or royal. Hold on. So you're saying our national anthem

God Save the Queen has at one stage been the national anthem of Russia? It's like, you know how Portishead and Tricky had a song based around the same tune. one stage beam the national anthem of russia it's like you know how porter said and tricky had a song based around the same tune but bigger than that so it's the reason to do with the empire then is it because we brits went around the world telling people all about our amazing anthem it's kind of to do with the empire basically what happened was in 1745, when this tune and the lyrics made their debut, although it's not clear who actually composed the music, it may go back a couple of hundred

years before. But in 1745, a man called Thomas Arne, who I think also did Rule Britannia, he did the current arrangement of the music. The current dirge that we all know as the song that makes us pump through our veins as we down more alcohol to make ourselves feel happy in september of that year the cast of a play at the drury lane theater sang his arrangement of this with the lyrics as a rousing patriotic anthem at a time of trouble and it was a roaring hit i bet it was if it was a popular song at the time absolute banger it would be like doing uh the god save the queen to the tune of despacito or

something wouldn't it the commonwealth games it was like when everyone was doing lip dubs of call me maybe yeah exactly all around the world and in a year call me maybe was the official national yeah so it was such a popular smash that other theatres copied it. And then within a year, it was custom to sing it wherever the royals appeared. And at some point, it became the world's first official national anthem. Oh, I see. Other places had had anthems. Other people, kind of like opening their own branches of McDonald's, other people thought, well, we'll just copy the template.

We'll have the same song and we'll have a national anthem, but with different lyrics. Yeah. So you could say that because Britain had this outsized influence around the world and also because a lot of royal families were linked around europe this song made its way internationally but also it was in hymn books internationally so a lot of places just put their own lyrics on it they're like wow this tune we could remix that locally so it's all over the fucking place and my country tis of thee is an 1831 riff on the theme when a 24 year old theology student called samuel f smith was either translating some german hymn books as

part of his theology studenting or he was was studying in Germany and noticed that German students every day sang a hymn and hoped that American students would do the same, so took this tune and added the lyrics. And actually, My Country Tis of Thee was the national anthem of the US until the Star-Spangled Banner was adopted in 1931. Ah, the Star-Spangled Banner is such a better song isn't it it's also a british song though oh really originally don't tell me ed sheeran wrote that one as well i don't know if you've heard but the former prime minister tony blair has written a book

it's about gordon's temper being pals with George Bush and the untimely death of Robin Cook. I'll go to AnswerMeThisPodcast.com slash Audible and download it for free. And listen to him reading it while I

lie in bed pretending to be Sheree. Yuck! Our Audible promotion is still running, but only until June the 30th. This particular offer where you get to have two free audiobooks, not just one. Two is only running till June the 30th, so go get it now. Yes, or in the days between now and June 30 30th yeah i mean when i say now because some people like me put things off till the last minute yeah sure we're just saying that last minute is june

the 30th yeah if you're that person diarise now send yourself a calendar alert or whatever for june the 30th 29th of june yeah just in case there's this time zone sensitive and you go in after the appropriate time on june the 30th so let's just say this ends on June the 29th. Get it done by June the 29th. And then it's like when you get your tax return done early, you can be smug on the deadline day. Just like that. You feel so free.

It's more fun than a tax return. It is more fun than that. So basically the deal is, Audible have an excellent service offering hundreds of thousands of audiobooks. And if you're a subscriber, remember, then you get one a month for your monthly subscription. But you can take a free trial and get a free audiobook, which is yours to keep,

and a second free audiobook, which is yours to keep. You could get the sequel to the first one. And it's dead easy to sign up for. You just use your Amazon account. And by doing that, just by doing that, Audible send us money to say thank you for referring you to them. For every one of you. It doesn't matter if you never pay anything

and you cancel and keep your two free audiobooks. Yes, those don't evaporate on June the 30th. No, you get to keep them forever. Yeah. And you can listen through the Audible app and stuff as well so you can listen on your phone, you don't have to sit in front of your desktop computer like a trader in the 80s. Do go and check it out there are some uh audible originals on there now as well

oh yes it's kind of like the kind of audio version of you know netflix stuff so that for example there's um a comedy panel show with ian lee uh based around questions that's an original idea there's a john ronson's The Butterfly Effect about the porn industry or as John calls it, porn women porn people I met a lot of porn people also there's Bill Bailey and Richard E. Grant doing

The Jungle Book, I'm intrigued by that I don't know who's Baloo but I imagine Bill Bailey Richard E. Grant will play the more serpentine characters won't he? I don't know, I don't know if it's just the two of them or whether it's like a full cast of 50 people and they're the two famous ones so they get the cover art don't there's only one way to find out go on audible and get it for free that's right all you need to do is go to answer me this podcast.com slash audible here's a question from someone who calls themselves a concerned atheist okay and he

says i'm in my early 50s and divorced a couple of times over the last year i've met a very nice lady uh once at a friend's birthday party and once at a dance and we got on quite well i'm already feeling a stirring of the loins, aren't you, Helen? I like a little bit of matchmaking. Well, he says, last Sunday I met her at church where she was handing out hymn books. At the post-service coffee and bickies, we got on like a house on fire and I think there's definitely an attraction there. Now, was there, sir? or was that the bickies talking

we all get a bit giddy around bickies and we're not in control one too many post-church bickies and uh suddenly everyone's a raconteur well it depends on the bickies like if it's if it's good bickies like a chocolate biscuit then um yes but if it's a dry biscuit, like a rich tea biscuit, those are supposed to dampen the ardour, like monk's vein. So something sexy is happening around the coffee and the bickies. Sure. What's the trouble?

A little bit of asking around revealed that she's divorced, so I think I'm in with a chance. We're all rooting for you, concerned atheist. Ask her out. Ask her out. Don't wait for another chance interaction write on a bicky would you like to dip this in coffee with me sometime on a date yeah but helen answer me this when do i tell her i'm an atheist i only went to church because i was bored and felt like singing some hymns that's that's the reason why probably

quite a lot of people go i think that's the reason why a lot of self-professed christians go exactly yeah because people want the community maybe this lady only went because she likes bickies and also i mean you say that you're an atheist but uh if you felt comfortable enough to go to church because you were bored and felt like singing some hymns i'm guessing i could be wrong but i'm presuming you are a lapsed Christian or someone who's brought up the Christian background and now decided to be atheist. To be honest, for most Church of England churches,

that's enough. But they're going to be happy with that. If you're in the room, you count. Exactly, yeah. Let's not get too deep into the details. Well, to be honest, even if you're of another religion, you count, don't you, in Anglicanism?

Even if you're just a bit Jesus-curesus curious that's fine um anyway uh he continues uh the vicar is my mate um and we talk a lot about philosophy and religion so he knows my position interesting but this nice lady must now assume that i'm a christian because why else would someone put on a jacket and tie go to church and sing hymns on a sund morning. For the three bickies! And to meet women! Concerned Atheist continues, I like Christians and I don't have any problem with them, but should I subtly mention that I'm a non-believer before I ask her out for a date,

or should I wait until we're actually dating? She is awfully pretty ask her out ask her out it's a sweet email isn't it i think is this is very sweet and i don't think it's too much of a problem because she was just there handing out hymn books i've done that and i'm an atheist uh because i like having a little chore to do and you turned up to church just for the sake of being there so it shows that you're not viciously opposed to religion Dawkins probably doesn't go to church to have a nice sing song and some free biscuits does he you've shown you're at least Christian tolerant haven't you I mean also the fact as well that you are friends with the vicar I mean drop that in like if she is

a big churchgoer it's like if you're good enough for the big guy, then you're good enough for her, aren't you? Lots of points. Lots of points for being friends with the vicar. And you're assuming that she's super religious. Maybe for her it's a communal thing as well. Or maybe her religion is compatible with someone who's not religious. But I think since you've shown that you are open-minded towards her church it's a decent

enough start right you don't have to compromise anything you know in terms of whether you believe in god and that jesus was the son of god there are christians who have doubts about that you know and still embrace the philosophy of it so i still think you can bring that up as part of a general kind of conversation without you know he's talking as if he has to kind of come out you know it's not like that is it it's something that can come up when you're ready to talk about it also you're acting like it can never work out if she is christian and you are an atheist totally can you don't know her beliefs just as she doesn't know yours so ask her out and um eventually it will come up because um if she is very into the christianity she might be like well at 6 a.m we've got to go for early mass or whatever

i don't know and you might be like well actually i'm not a staunch believer but i do enjoy the philosophy and community of it but i don't need to go yeah you know it'll come up somehow the vicar is my friend he's got his strong beliefs just bring it up like that and also people are very flattered when someone thinks they're awfully pretty so i think that will get you a long way let us know how it goes i feel very emotionally invested in you concerned yes me too yes exactly i know often listeners don't give us enough details sometimes they give us too much you've given us just enough tantalizing amount to tantalize us and yet inform us and at the same time there's lots of unanswered questions you sound like a kind and open-minded person exactly yeah give us the next installment of your private life well that brings us to the

end of this episode of answer me this but we need your questions to make more episodes of the show. You can send us an email. You can Skype or phone us. You can send us a voice memo via email. That is the safest way to get your voice into the show. I don't care how it gets here, just get here if you can. All of our contact details are listed on our website.

AnswerMeThisPodcast.com One thing you could do while there, as well as following us on Facebook and Twitter and checking out our classic episodes and albums like the Jubilee album, is vote for us in the listener choice category at the British Podcast Awards, which are happening this month.

Yes, it's dead easy, actually. I mean, if we genuinely are your favourite show. Or, you know, top five. You could probably submit multiple entries. If you feel moved enough to think it might be nice for us to win an award, all you do, you go to britishpodcastawards.com slash vote all you do is enter the words answer me this

and it knows who we are, that's it but other things you can do to support us is listening to our other work yeah, my podcast The Modern Man is at modernmanwith2ends.co.uk recent episodes of that I have met a professional declutterer

and also a man who makes artificial limbs for babies using a 3d printer wow yeah what did you do with your day today the illusionist is uh ongoing at the illusionist.org there's a very good episode recently about welsh patagonia because they speak welsh in argentina uh but also i'm doing a bunch of live shows this month and next month in Australia and the US some of them are with Radiotopia and the Bugle some of them in the Illusionist Live but all the events are at theillusionist.org slash events come along and Martin what are you up to well he went on a bike that goes in the sea the other day that was exciting but can you listen to a sound recording of that you can't but you can

listen to a song by song podcast in which we talk about every tom wait song in chronological order at the moment we have a guest jeremy warmsley musician a british musician it's been a lot of fun tune in at song by song podcast.com and there will be a retro episode on our podcast feed halfway through the month a trip through the answer me this archives otherwise we'll be back with a brand new answer me This on the first Thursday of June. We hope you rejoin us then. Bye!