Answer Me This! - AMT403: Popcorn, Vertigo and Toby Carvery

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

We've been making this show for a long time. We have had SO many questions about weddings. And yet, in AMT403, we get a whole fresh spin on the Wedding WTFery genre of question. Plus, questioneers ask about understudies' pay, popcorn's popularity, and who has to clear out your shed after you die. For more information about this episode, visit answermethispodcast.com/episode403. Got question for us to answer? Send them in writing or as a voice note to [e-mail]. Next episode will be in your podfeed 27 March 2025. Our patrons will be getting bonus material  before that, so to become one, go to patreon.com/answermethis This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you're ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why would you stay a white lotus after all of those killings? Can I use grout to make my own fillings? What would our roller derby names be? That was the question we left you in suspense about at the end of the last episodes. Thank God there's no longer a two-year gap between episodes with such a cliffhanger, Helen. We're too old for that level of tenterhookage these days. And I guess now that we've been supplied with some top-notch roller derby names from listeners, there's nothing to stop our roller derby careers beginning,

apart from our fear of breaking all our bones. Well, and pronunciation of the thing. You're saying roller derby. I said roller derby. That can't hold enough! As a Brit, of course, I pronounce the word derby derby, but I think within the sport, it's more likely to be pronounced roller derby.

I mean, if there's one thing I've always said about you is that you're always authentic to whichever sport it is you're describing. Keren asked us to come up with some punny or fearsome or dirty names uh for our individual uh what would you call it roller derbing right sure uh helen for you johanna has suggested helen of destroy destroy yeah yeah that's pretty good do you like greek myths middle english more your era isn't it yeah i was very into them as a child. And then I felt a bit alienated by Helen of Troy because, you know, she's the most beautiful person in the world.

And I thought that's not something I can relate to. Catherine says the abrusionist, or bruiser for short. It's a tricky one to get on a shirt and for people to shout. I agree. You'd have to understand what allusionistist is which is not a real word anyway so it's just so far unless your roller derby was entirely populated by podcast fans that would just just be baffling yeah but let's be honest if helen's in a roller derby team it probably is an esoteric podcast team isn't it so maybe it's perfect and also martin you're forgetting that

the implausible thing about this is not the illusionist reference it's me playing roller derby Liz has a surname pun for you Helen zaps men

I love that oh okay I didn't think that would be your favourite you don't zap people in roller derby and what about the women and enbies

they get to survive they're fine and Jonathan on our Patreon wall patreon.com slash answer me this, humbly suggests that Helen's roller derby name might be Azults and Battery. Azults and Battery.

Azults and Battery. It took me a long time to get that one. I like that one. Azults is my brother or my mum. Yes, because you've got the initial. That's the problem with that. I'll suggest it to them because who knows what one of them will end up doing.

Well, Ollie, we have some suggestions for you. Katie on Patreon suggests mansplaining with a double N. Yeah, that's clever, but it's passive-aggressive, isn't it? Which strikes me as unusual in a roller-dopping game. Yes, it's more aggressive-aggressive. Yeah, you want to go just like, balls out, I'm going to take you down. Mans down mansplaining is like you're not going to like me but you're going to tolerate the thing i'm doing it's just not quite right okay well this one that matthew suggests also came from several different people matthew says rolly man it's just sitting there rolly man yes so r o l l y

it's good in print isn't it but when you say it out loud as you as you're illustrating very well roly and ollie don't sound the same do they so i just think roly yeah yeah that's not and also again it's not um it's not got that fun violence streak to it has it well not all of the derby names have violence in some of them are just referring to the skates so i think it's it's nice in that respect but if you want violence ollie how about this suggestion from peter ollie manslaughter oh that i love take no prisoners that's me is naming something after an actual crime resulting in death fun and quirky or just i think that's a step too far no i disagree i think it's beyond the realms of taste i think think it's like drag. As much as I can work out with this stuff,

it's like the more obscene, the better in certain circles. Right. Martin, for you, there was a clear favourite. Yeah. We had about half a dozen people get in touch to suggest Martin the Pound Man. I don't like it, honestly. It sounds a bit too much like a sex thing.

No, I think it's good because it's sex and violence. Like, compare it to Roly Man. Roly Man wouldn't hurt a fly or give you a good shag. Well, he might run over a fly. Martin the Pound Man's there for everything. He's going to fuck you to death on the rink. I don't like that. That's not me. That's not who I am.

I'm not going to fuck anyone to death on the rink. Boring. Well, Chris, an actual roller derby player, has been in touch as well. He plays with the Crash Test Brummies. I love that. Extraordinary. Ah, hell yeah. I love crash test brummies he says i started playing roller derby last year and i chose the name shank spencer right also great a staggeringly high number of players today he says have no idea what the pun is though

really you think a british sitcom from 1973 oh people today. They're just not across. Some mothers do have them. Why wouldn't your average roller derby player know that? He's also sent a photo of his shirt, which is equally amazing because the shirt number is treble zero, which I didn't get at first,

but then Helen, you pointed out, is... Oh! As in Ubeti. Here's a question of entertainment from Phil from Britain, living in Calgary. Phil says, I recently went to a West End show where an understudy performed the lead role. Ollie, answer me this.

How are understudies compensated? They must remain available at all times in case they're needed, but they can't be receiving a full salary if they're not on stage every night, like the main cast. And surely they can't take a second job, as that would interfere with their availability. Minimum wage for the West End for actors is £629.41 per week. That slides upwards depending on the size of the venue, so obviously you get paid more for playing the Palladium

than Trafalgar Studios. And then there's a bonus if you're in the swing, asterisk, we'll explain that in a moment, you get an extra £120 a week. Understudy appearances are bumped up by an extra £31.50 for a supporting role or £52.50 for a leading role. So too long, don't read.

Basically, the answer to Phil's question is if you see someone in Wicked being the understudy, they're getting 50 quid. Well, they're getting 50 extra quid, presumably. They're getting 50 extra quid, exactly. And that's the point. They're not like, you're taking a pay cut tonight because you get to go and be Elphaba.

Right. And there is a lot of conflicting terminology here because there are a lot of different companies and there are a lot of traditions and there are a lot of different scales of show. But in general, if you're watching someone replace a performer, they're probably someone who was in the theatre anyway

that usually plays a part in the chorus or plays a smaller part in the play and they get bumped up. So they would have been receiving that basic salary anyway, and then they get their extra 50 quid for the night that they play the star role. Okay, but then isn't the chorus down a person?

Yes, and that is what a swing is. So when you see in the programme swing, that's someone who's learned basically every minor part, whereas the understudy or the alternate will only learn the main part so that their part can be played by the swing but then the confusing bit is understudies kind of ad hoc might go on might not might be waiting in the wings might be on stage might not an alternate is a scheduled appearance every week so that's what you see you typically

with like the big divas who actually it's physically ill-advised for them to sing that big part every night so you're sheridan smith's you're nicole scherzinger they will actually negotiate a couple of days a week where all through the run they're not on that's an alternate so that's different that's billed that's listed you don't get your money back so that sounds like the swing is a much harder job than being an understudy or an alternate, because you've got to learn all of these different parts. Oh my god, there are so many challenges to it, Martin. Like, if the show's just opened, then you may never have rehearsed the part you're playing

when you go on stage and do it, because from the first preview onwards, if someone breaks their legs, you've got to go out and do it. But at that point, the understudy rehearsal cycle hasn't even started yet. you know the lines are off but you've never done it wow so that's hard a big big show like a you know a matilda or something it's such an established thing there are rehearsals every week for the understudies everyone's kept up to speed but still there are other issues like bringing your own vibe to the part as an actor but not changing the way the show feels or throwing off the other actors. You don't want to be doing an impersonation of the person you're covering. But equally, you don't want to make everyone think like, what are they doing?

Because this is totally different. Getting that balance right. Just the emotional thing of like not knowing sometimes, you know, until 10 minutes before that you're going on. Doing the big stuff and then the next day having to go back to the chorus can be just emotionally and egocentrically difficult for people and then the other thing that can happen is going on halfway through oh yeah and this actually happened when i was watching back to the future the musical earlier this year i did not know there was a stage production of back to the music by glenn ballard much better than you'd think it should be flying cars all over the shop but what happened is one of biff's sidekicks sprained their ankle in part one

and then got replaced by someone who had been in the chorus, like I recognized him. It was really obvious, despite the talents of the actors, because they changed color. They were white in part one and black in part two. Obviously, in the costume, you know who they are. You're like, oh, he's playing 3D or whatever. And it's amazing how much less distracting that is

than when it happens on TV, when they replace an actor, because in cinema, you sort of take things literally, don't you? But in the theatre, because you're using your imagination anyway, you know, they're not really standing in an American high school because you can see it's a set. It's weird. You're like, oh, OK, he was white. Now he's black. OK, it's the same character. Within a minute, you forget that you're looking at a different person. I suppose the suspension of disbelief is enormous in theatre, which is why minimalist sets work. Yeah, exactly. Here's a question from Jenny who says,

My mum wants to go on a cruise for her 70th birthday, but she wants to find one that is good, but also ethical. Well, best of luck to her. Happy birthday. Here's the gift of disappointment. Jenny says, I have played on cruises in the past as part of a classical string quartet. I mean, it sounds like she already knows more about cruises than we do. But these were saga cruises. So the average age was about 80, which is a very different vibe to what we're after with her spring chicken 70-year-old mother.

Yeah, you want the septuagenarian cruises, not the octogenarians. We currently have an almost two-year-old too so she would need to be entertained but i also don't want to live on a floating creche so helen answer me this have you ever been on a cruise and if not why not have you seen triangle of sadness that is it better for the environment than flying and if not can you recommend a cruise liner that is the best of a bad bunch both environmentally and entertainment wise the entertainment wise that feels highly subjective but we'll get to that let's take your questions chronologically jenny have i ever been on a cruise not really martin and i did a 24-hour cruise in vietnam to

see halong bay because the only way you can see it is via official boat trips but that was a boat with 24 people on it if not why not the reason why we've not been on a bigger cruise is partly because I don't want to be trapped on a big boat with loads of people same is it better for the environment than flying no it's actually quite a lot worse than flying which regardless of where you're going the thing is it's really hard to get the data because there's so much greenwashing from the cruise industry there's not not an independent watchdog. And they're like, look, we're using clean fuel. We're using liquid natural gas, which is like, it does produce less carbon dioxide and less nitrogen dioxide, but it produces way more methane, which is even more damaging which i learned on answer me this several years ago when researching the environmental impact of paper towels since which i have not used one yes because they are so bad yeah yeah yeah and then some ships will be like look we've fixed our emissions which is the main problem with them because they're like burning up fossil fuels and pumping that into the local environment we fixed it we've got these things called scrubbers which convert our gaseous

emissions into toxic wastewater there's another thing that they can do which does improve the emission stuff a bit which is called shore power so when they pull into a harbour for an afternoon or something some ships can plug in like an electric car there's just a massive plug into the mainland to recharge which means they don't have to keep their engines running while people are on the shore, thus further polluting the town. But most ships and most ports don't offer this. So it's another thing where ships can be like,

oh yes, this thing exists, whilst hushing up the fact that it mostly doesn't. Yes, and the destination you want to go to is like, it's either the first or second most important thing when booking the cruise, isn't it? Like beyond whether it can plug in or not, you're thinking, where are we going? And what's happening on board?

Then you'll think, and what are the environmental consequences? I mean, I absolutely applaud any effort to try and be environmentally friendly where possible. But on the other hand, I think like deliberately choosing a cruise because it's environmentally friendly or the one that's the most environmentally friendly

sort of misses the point because if you're going on a cruise, you're doing a thing that's wasteful and unnecessary, largely. I look at them and I think, I don't care how many iterations of restaurants and bars and casinos and buffets and theatres and swimming pools you've put on this thing to try and create the illusion of choice. I know in my heart, and so do you, and so does everyone there, that it's all owned by the same one company, really. They'll say, oh, this is the Spanish restaurant, this is the Chinese restaurant. But that thing of just giving all your money

to one corporation for the whole time you're on a thing, that sort of freaks me out. I don't like the idea of just having those choices taken away from me. What if it's a Disney cruise? Your favourite corporation? They are my favourite corporation, but even that like they have their own private island and just the concept of private island gives me the epstein's you know i just wouldn't want to do it it's the fact that just every dollar you're spending goes to the same company it's a floating

company town yes exactly exactly yes and a petri one. Oh, the norovirus I hear about. The special COVID. Yeah. But I don't want to be just super down on Jenny's mum's desired 70th birthday. And actually, this question comes at a very timely moment because I have been doing this research because Martin and I want to take a holiday with my mum. We haven't been on holiday for ages. My mum has disabilities and cruises are one of the few trips that she can do with fairly minimal worries. She and my dad did a few in his latter years, which were like smallish boats going up rivers in Europe.

So like 120 passengers. Oh, I saw those go past me because I was in Germany this summer. I saw those ones on the Rhine. Oh, yeah. I've only seen them in the Idents in between Quiro ad breaks. Yeah, it was those. But it's weird seeing them because everyone says a cruise ship is a floating hotel, right? But what they really mean is it's like a floating five-star resort when they're talking about those massive ones.

But those Rhine cruises are like a floating three-star motel. That's what's weird about them. They go past you and you see all the rooms because they've got one wall that's just glass so that the elderly people can sit in their beds and just look out the window and watch it all go past them that's what i want in life now and i'm 44 and i did think what an amazing thing for when you do have disabilities and you are a bit it's not just the only way you can do it it's by far the best isn't it the limit on what you can see otherwise whereas that you're seeing so many places it is by far the best isn't it the limit on what you can see otherwise whereas that you're seeing so many places is kind of amazing yeah yeah also with my dad as his parkinson's was

advancing being able to unpack once and have the same room whilst having the variety yeah so i've been researching this and there is one option that is the least worst of the bunch, as Jenny asks. And it is Hurtigruten, which in the Friends of the Earth annual cruise ship report card, surveying 21 cruise companies and 243 ships, Hurtigruten is the only one that got an A for air pollution reduction. None of the others got above a C. Why? What do they do that's different? Hurtigruten goes up and down the Norwegian coast because it's essentially acting as a ferry service as well. You can go just for a several day leisure trip, but also people are getting on and off to go to towns because Norway is very long and thin and a lot of the places are easier to access by boat. The Norwegian government were like, we have a lot of restrictions on how that route is served

and how polluting it is. So they've always had to be pretty careful about that. And then in 2021, they opened it up to another company as well called Havila. So they are pretty decent too. It's things like they don't have a buffet because that reduces food waste. There's no single use plastics. The tap water's all drinkable. They sell wool garments instead of polyester fleece in the gift shop but still gotta look at their claims when they're like yes we're using liquefied natural gas but they do have a battery so they can be on a battery for four hours so if they're in towns they're not like pumping burning diesel into the town i mean it's lucky that both you and your mom are the kind of people that would be really happy on a cruise to

norway though isn't it yeah i think some people would be like, no, if I'm doing a cruise, I'm going to the Caribbean and I'm going to Ten Islands. And, you know, you can't really replace that with one of those kind of style cruises, can you? Definitely a different vibe. It is much more like a ferry. Like the rooms are a bit nicer than the ferries I've been on. And they have lectures and stuff where they're like, oh, local bird life, local troll life, etc. I don't know if that is stuff that your two-year-old would be super into no that's the issue isn't it although a lot of two-year-olds just kind of want

to climb in and out of a big box or like run along all of the bench seats they don't need water slides and clowns we're watching youtube videos of these ships to get an idea of whether it was worth us doing this holiday with my mum and they they were like, look, there's a children's area. And it's like the area in a bank where they're like, here's a curly wire with some beads on for the little ones to amuse themselves. Yes. Oh God. So I think the best of the bad bunch

environmental options are not the best options entertainment wise, but Jenny hasn't specified what entertainment that her mum would want. Yes. So if she wants like loads of shows and dances and bartenders who are going to throw cocktail shakers in the air, probably the wrong one.

Probably the wrong one. But someone who maybe does Open University talking about Norse mythology, that's entertainment. Oh, fuck yeah. Whee! Hi, Helen, Ollie and Martin the Sandman. It's Lily from Edinburgh here.

I was just wondering, Helen and Ollie and Martin the Sandman. It's Lily from Edinburgh here. I was just wondering, Helen and Ollie answer me this, who decided that the default scent for foot moisturiser should be mint? Why not something else? And why is other moisturiser generally not minty? Mint is cooling. So it's refreshing to the tired and achy foot. It is anti-inflammatory and also antifungal and antibacterial. And also stinging on your ball sack. That's why not for other places, isn't it? Keep it for your foot-specific cream. But I've never knowingly moisturised my feet.

I don't really want moist feet. I'd be worried about slipping in the shower. You put it on after the shower. That is when moisturiser is best absorbed. Yeah. Also put some socks on to help it absorb. As I think about it, I think I've only ever moisturised my face. I don't think I've moisturised any other part of me.

I don't like the idea of being, like, moist. Understood. A lot of people are very upset by the very word moist, Olly. Yeah, I know. They are, aren't they? Yeah. It's a good test. How much do they like the show?

Moist. Why are you driving them away they were like i trusted you but why mint though just the cooling thing because and now i think about it like there are plenty of other herbs that smell nice like basil and coriander and parsley you don't get parsley foot moisturizer i mean you probably do but truly underrepresented herb in body products. In Garnier. I think it was possibly at your house, you know, your flat where we used to record this, that I had my first ever fresh mint tea. Aww.

I didn't realise that a mint tea was a leaf of mint in some water until you showed it to me, until you showed me the way. I can show you the way. Indescribable pot plant. What did you think a mint tea was? Did you think it was like an extra strong mint dissolved? I suppose I just thought herbal teas were things you got out of packets rather than things you can make yourself easily by putting some herbs in some water, yeah. Yeah, I do think dried and fresh mint taste different enough.

Don't they? Yeah. And actually, I cook with dried mint. I quite like dried mint, but I think you need to know when you're knowingly using it. Don't rub it all over your balls because it'll probably be itchy even if it's not stingy. Parsley, however, in a garlic butter, all over your balls.

Such a great time. I think that's how you assess all your culinary ingredients, is the ball effect. Does it remind me of Toby Carvery in any way? Have you been to a Toby Carvery? Have I been to a Toby Carvery? Wow, been to a toby carvery wow they still exist yeah regularly on a sunday almost i want to give away my location helen i'm there so often what's your regular order oh what do you just is there a buffet don't fuck around is there a buffet fuck me helen i know what we're doing next time you're

going to england yes you go for you oh no we going to have to clear the next half an hour of the podcast if we go down this road, Helen. Yes, you go on a Sunday. You have the... The carvery is a buffet. That is what a carvery is. You do have to request mayonnaise, which, as we've discussed in previous conversations,

you know, like with McDonald's, I hate, I don't know why mayonnaise is not a standard thing. Otherwise, very little to complain about. Good quality of meat for a very low cost establishment are you having a roast with mayonnaise what is this jeopardy yes you're having a roast with mayonnaise yeah yeah totally yeah i'm just checking because that's unusual it's not the typical like top five condiments to have with a roast i know i know well clearly because otherwise toby carvery would put it out for people like me but that is i've told you before

mayonnaise is my lubricant oh i know yeah i know you're a mayonnaise perv I just didn't know that on roast potatoes particularly like any potato I'm just looking at the Toby Carvery's menu because I wanted to see what vegetarian options they offer got a spinach and mushroom pithivier I'm impressed I do want to go yeah it is about the meat you're not getting your value for money even as a vegetarian sorry I shouldn't be looking at this menu. It's all right. Well, no, you're preparing yourself. We're definitely doing it.

Great. Wow. And they make wraps where the wrap is a Yorkshire pudding. I think you fantasized about that very thing on this show, haven't you? Did I? I think a Yorkshire pudding full of breakfast, I think, was your idea, which is very much the kind of thing that they do. What's the stuffing situation?

Because that's very important to me. Yeah, there's a bit of that. They've got all the bits. They've got the mint sauce. There's just like all the bits you need. And an array of Toby jugs. Have they bought up all the Toby jugs for the chain of Toby Carveries? I was worrying exactly this, actually, last time I was in one.

You know, like when we did that question about All Saints buying up all the old sewing machines? Exactly what I was thinking. I do worry that the people at Toby Carvery now own all the Toby jugs, and that's just unfair. Oh my God, there's 158 Toby Carvery's still. There we go. A lot on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And probably 100 Toby jugs in each one. So that's 115,000, is it? I suppose it's possible that people are manufacturing them for Toby Carvery. Just for Toby Carvery, yeah. Martin doesn't like toby jugs uh i was almost called toby and uh and the fact that toby jugs is so menacing you know makes me a lot sad about that makes me pleased to be martin yeah real fun roller derby name though toby jugs if you've got a question email your question to answer me at this podcast So, Retrospectives, what historical events are we ticking off on this week's run of Today in History?

On Monday, we bring you the real story of the mutiny on the bounty. On Tuesday, the anniversary of the day somebody invented the meatball, but who? On Wednesday, the iconic British car that ripped off an iconic American car. On Thursday, how American airlines invented air miles. And on Friday, the UFO sighting that gripped colonial America. We discuss this and more on today in history with the retrospectors 10 minutes each weekday wherever you get your podcasts now it's time for a lovely bedtime story in that this question is really long and

has several acts it's from amanda who entitled her email, post-wedding etiquette does not go where you expect. There's no doubt about that. Amanda specifies all names have been changed. Okay, well, that's good to know, actually. Amanda says, about six months ago, I went to the wedding of my distant aunt. We don't see that side of the family that much

and they're older and much wealthier than us. No bad feelings, though. On the morning of the wedding, much and they're older and much wealthier than us no bad feelings though on the morning of the wedding there was a minor crisis one of the adult bridesmaids wasn't able to make it rumor was that she was ill to the extent that she could not risk standing around in a light blue dress oh that is bad that's but i feel bad for her i was approached by the wedding planner told you it was posh and offered a field promotion to bridesmaid as i was inverted commas family and inverted commas could fit into the dress i accepted my aunt was happy with it and i enjoyed the new place in the bridal party though it involved more standing around for photos and

having an intense woman angrily redoing my makeup at short notice oh this is like being an understudy isn't it you You were going anyway, and then at the last minute you've been pulled onto centre stage and suddenly you've got to be right up there with the big names. Amanda says, I had a lovely time. Danced, got tipsy and celebrated,

even met the woman I'd subbed for at the reception and got gifted the dress as a thank you, even though it cost more than my monthly rent. So far, no drama. No drama. So far, no drama. Next drama. So far, no drama. Next far, drama. Yeah, right.

One of the gifts the happy couple received was a promise from their friend Wilbur of a painting of their wedding. Six months later, against all expectations, Wilbur has provided. It's a big painting in a classical style and there I am, one or two people away from the couple. By classical, Wilbur went for classical Greek with allusion to mythology.

Now that I wasn't expecting. That's the first curveball, isn't it? Okay, well, get ready for a curvier ball. Amanda says, that is apparently why I've been painted naked. No blue dress. Naked. The whole supporting bridal family are nymphs and satyrs. My opposite groomsman, however, has foliage over his wedding tackle. But aside from having someone blocking my bikini bottom area, I'm proudly topless and exposed from all points north of my belly button. To be fair, that is in the style of a classical Greek painting.

It's fulfilling its brief. It sounds like you weren't involved in the brief might be the issue here. No, but it seems to be applied to Amanda in ways it's not to the other party because Amanda says the other bridesmaids seem to have gotten away with diaphnous veils or being children in little dresses. My mother is tucked away further down the painting, just looking frumpy in a toga. And my dad and brother are generic men with beards in the background.

Wilbur clearly spent more time on me. It's obviously my face being smiley for my aunt, but he has generously given me a boob job too. Okay. I'm a modest bee cup, but this is not reflected in the painting. I'm not one to body shame and all bodies and breasts are beautiful but wilbur has given me a big honking bear of tits right almost cartoonish like those seaside postcards from the 1950s okay i've certainly got an image of this painting now i mean you're painting it with words they're topped off by some very pointy and very pink

nipples my friend is of the opinion that Wilbur started with my tits and worked out and that they follow you around the room. Like the fallen Madonna. There are some other topless women in the painting. Someone carrying an owl like Athena. Someone dancing and some servants on the edge of the painting. Okay, that's good. That's important context, actually.

So you're not the only nude in the painting. Okay. Are those real wedding guests depicted as servants? Yes. Unclear. Oh, it's even, oh God, if they're actually just people who were serving vol-au-vons at the party, that's really super weird. That's even weirder than what he's done with you. Ollie, answer me this. What the actual fuck? Sometimes the question doesn't need to be more than that, does it? You go to the whole preamble.

And what the fuck do I do now? Yes. My aunt shared the photo of the painting with the bridal party and the maid of honour sent me a link. A big unveiling is planned, both on social media and at a post-wedding party. My mother thinks it would be rude to ask to have it changed and that no one will notice. My dad wants nothing to do with it.

Surprise! Doesn't want to see a painting of his daughter's fantasy huge honking tits. Yeah. And my brother just thinks it's hilarious, which it kind of is. I mean, it is kind of funny. Still, it also feels very creepy, especially when I notice that the painting includes hints of the tattoo on my thigh. It would have been hidden at the wedding,

but it's visible in holiday photos on my socials. Wilbur has been doing his research. Ew. Mmm. Mmm. Goodness. So many levels to this. Don't love that.

No. So, what should I do? Ignore it and be a naked Where's Wally in someone's wedding present? Make a fuss and get a correction painted by wilbur or try to sneak into the house at the dead of night to sharpie a sports bra on definitely don't do that that would be drawing attention to it i mean literally drawing attention to it okay this is unfortunate because i think if you do the thing that kind of really you should do as grown-ups right right? You should sit down and discuss it

and explain why you feel the way that you do and acknowledge that it's funny, but also you feel violated and then they should say, I'm so sorry, I never intended that to happen to you. If you do that, you will upset the bride. You just will, right? Well, I think you have to ask the bride

because the bride didn't do the painting. No, no, well, this is my point. Unfortunately, my solution is not perfect because I understand why you would have felt violated. It's a strange thing, isn't it? Like, my initial reaction, and perhaps my reaction even like 10 years ago to this, would be like, everyone knows they're not your tits. Does it matter? Like, it's obviously a joke. It's done as a spoof painting. You should be flattered. And all of that's sort of true if only you'd been asked. But I mean, I think we've all been on a journey when it comes to this sort of thing.

And, you know, consent in a joke. All Wilbur needed to do was be like, would you think it was funny if I painted you with big honking tits? But he didn't ask. He just did it. And as you say, now you feel like he's been spying through your photos. You haven't given consent. It doesn't matter that it's not you

because everyone's looking at those tits and thinking either. Those are your tits or those aren't your tits. In either case, they're thinking about your tits so i completely understand why you feel awkward about it but we don't know that it's the bride and groom's fault they were given this as a present it's probably wilbur's fault well we assume they weren't like yeah do us a nude painting wilbur well we don't know but but but it is wilbur's fault wilbur has a lesson to learn from this you should talk talk to Wilbur about it, yes. But I do think, on balance, if you can bear it,

probably wait, like, some years before you let the bride and groom know how you feel about it. No. Absolutely disagree. No, it's got to be now. It's got to be as soon as possible. Yeah. But then everyone will know that you felt awkward about it and then what are they going to do but there's fine thing to feel yeah i think most people would be like that's that's reasonable if someone painted me with

great honking tits i would be like i can see why you thought this was funny but it's not cool so paint some diaphanous fabric over my man chest and we'll be cool and that's it that isn't that okay i suppose that solution maybe i'm discounting that solution too readily maybe we'll be literally can just put a bra on you yeah but i think the longer you leave it the harder it is to bring this up and the more people see this painting i think it's perfectly reasonable to go i'm not comfortable being depicted topless i think it's reasonable to raise that with the aunt in this group chat about the painting and say wilburbur, can you put some fabric on me? They haven't unveiled it yet.

I guess that's right. So long, the thing that I was anxious about is if they're literally having this big unveiling that everyone's invited to and it's a fun event and you will be seen as the person who's made it not fun, even though you're voicing legitimate concerns, I would be worried about being that person

in the narrative of their wedding when actually at this moment you're the hero because you stepped in last minute with the bridesmaid. But you're right, if the solution is actually as simple as just putting some fabric on and then you'd feel okay about it, then yes, and then the unveiling can still happen. It's a painting, it can be changed,

but it's easier to change it soon. I too would feel awkward about being the person who changed the mood, but also I just think it's really off to be soon. I too would feel awkward about being the person who changed the mood, but also I just think it's really off to be like, well, the social pressure says you should be fine with someone painting a weird eroticised version of your body and sharing it with everyone. You shouldn't be fine with that.

It's fine to be like, no, that's not cool. Yeah. Well, as I say, all he needed to do was ask. I don't know how you ask that though. Maybe he was like, I don't know how I asked this question from someone I've never met. I have two hypotheses for how wilbur felt about it one is he didn't think this would be something people would object to in which case he needs to learn that it is

or he knew that it would and that's why he didn't ask because he wanted to do what he wanted to do and in both cases i think it needs to be raised to him but i don't see any problem with raising it to your aunt and also i think maybe other people would be uncomfortable with if they've been depicted nude and maybe it will be easier for them to be like, yeah, I don't love being a naked servant. Could you not? Yeah, but then it is just so difficult

when someone's trying to do a joke, someone's trying to do something nice. He's probably spent loads of time doing it. His choice, his choice. I agree he's wrong and he. His choice. I agree. He's wrong and he needs to learn. I agree. I also wonder, really,

whether or not Super wants a painting of her niece's cartoon tits. Right. Yeah. I mean, he might be a very talented artist. And, you know, this might be a really amazing gift for them. That's all.

You know, they may may have said we love those things you do and it could be the bride and groom that haven't thought about everyone else's feelings not Wilbur they could have commissioned it yeah yeah and then you are upsetting something about their big day you've just got to be cautious haven't you how you deal with it yeah I suppose sincerity and honesty is is the best way isn't it rather than treading on eggshells I guess it's also not an aunt that she's super close with. So I think it's a bit easier to do things that might turn out a little emotionally bad.

Yeah. If it's not someone that she's very worried about. Well, also the aunt's loaded, so I guess you could just pay to have it done again. Or pay to have it taken away. My uncle built my website. He did his best. It's pixely and spammy and nobody's impressed.

To be fair, he died 12 years ago. He can't update it whilst he's at rest. Not that he would of anyway. Well, with Squarespace, there is nothing to upgrade ever. Their sites update themselves. Isn't that clever? I wish my uncle could see it, but now he's gone forever.

Manny loved websites. We would have died twice. Thank you very much to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of Answer Me This. And thank you everyone for getting in touch and saying that one of your favourite things about hearing us back is hearing our Squarespace commercials.

Yeah, no skips, no skips. What will they sing about with Squarespace next? Well, perhaps, Helen our Squarespace commercials. Yeah, no skips, no skips. What will they sing about with Squarespace next? Well, perhaps, Helen, Squarespace payments. Because it is super easy to start receiving payments on Squarespace if you design a website there straight away in a way that allows you to accept payment methods like Klarna, as well as direct debit and Apple Pay and Afterpay and Clearpay. So many ways to get paid. So many ways to get paid.

So all you need to do is figure out what you're going to get paid for. Try it out yourself. Go to squarespace.com slash answer and play around with the free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code answer for 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hello, no, no. Answer me this. I knew you'd be back one day. Didn't know when, but I knew you'd be back.

It's Shaq here from London. Since you officially ended the podcast, I moved in with my girlfriend, got engaged and got married. So don't go anywhere again because who knows what I might do next. But my question is relating to a condition that I have, which means that sometimes I suffer from vertigo. And for some reason, whenever I tell anyone that I sometimes get vertigo, their response is always, always oh yeah I'm scared of heights as well but that's not what vertigo is at all so Helen answer me this why do so many people think that

vertigo is a fear of heights I think that there are a lot of misunderstandings of medical conditions whose names have entered the vernacular so like schizophrenia is not multiple personalities and i think vertigo is one such because fear of heights is acrophobia which is a word that i hear maybe never and yet would be a really cool name for a hitchcock movie like why didn't you just call it that? Problem solved. Well, actually, great question. I was wondering that because I was thinking, is the Hitchcock film one of the things that popularised this conflation of the two conditions in people's imaginations? Like, there is overlap.

Yeah. Sometimes acrophobia can come with vertigo-esque symptoms of like dizziness, feeling that you're moving when you're not, things like that. So just to be clear, actually, vertigo isn't a fear of anything it's just the result of feeling dizzy sometimes by being exposed to heights no it's not a phobia and also it's not to do with heights at all well there is height vertigo which is a subset of vertigo but vertigo is like a dizziness and sort of motion condition okay and then some people who have acrophobia can also get vertigo as a result of the acrophobia.

But vertigo itself is not specifically connected to that. Yeah. So you could, for example, have someone who's got vertigo on like a slow moving trolley ride, but not at height at all, just through motion. Absolutely. Even just like standing still. Our friend's mum had a brain tumour which produced a vertigo effect, and she basically had to like lie down for several years because it sucked but i'm pretty sure i've met people who suffer from fear of heights who themselves say i have vertigo so i guess the issue is that shack you actually have vertigo so you know what it is but people think they have vertigo they're not like just

you know mindlessly borrowing your phrase they they actually do think that's what it is the word vertiginous uh derives from the condition vertigo and it means causing dizziness but i i think i've only ever heard it used to mean something that's high but it's like totally inaccurate also there is illingophobia which is a fear of vertigo which means people are afraid of things that might produce vertigo symptoms which can include heights or looking down. So there is all this overlap in these conditions. And in the film Vertigo, James Stewart's character retires from law enforcement.

This isn't a spoiler because it's right at the beginning of a film that came out in 1958. He retires because he has acrophobia, which when he was involved in a rooftop chase, another officer died because Jimmy Stewart couldn't save him from falling because of his acrophobia. And with that condition, he also has vertigo. And maybe the title was like, let's pick the coolest sounding thing. Yeah, it is cool sounding. called the vertigo effect which is a dolly zoom originated by this film i believe to convey dizziness and disorientation caused by the character's acrophobia so i think that technique being called the vertigo effect which is like the acrophobia bringing on vertigo type symptoms is

another thing that like conflates these conditions have a word with alfred hitchcock see if he can fix it posthumously shack okay here's a question from bethin from aotearoa new zealand who says i recently had my wisdom teeth removed and was settling down to watch a movie when a sadness engulfed me because i couldn't eat popcorn oh because the wisdom teeth ollie answer me this how and why did popcorn become the go-to movie snack in many countries? The reason why cinemas still love to sell popcorn, if you like, before we go back to the history, is that simply there's a massive profit margin on it, right? So that obviously has, you know, a clue to its origins too.

It is some corn in a paper box that you can sell for $5. Five? Tell me where! Right, exactly. It also smells so that you can sell for five dollars five tell me where right exactly it also smells um so that you're like oh my god there's an amazing aroma across the foyer yes yes yes so it's the subway effect exactly and in fact again just generally in the history of popcorn that buttery smell is one of the things that has really motivated and propelled the success of popcorn on through generations really i hate the butter smell but it's got that viral feeling of like what's that what's everyone doing i can smell a thing what is

it and of course you can give it away for free like a drug dealer because the sample is so cheap try some like it costs nothing it's basically air it's basically air i mean doing a daily history podcast we do a lot of things that relate back to the 1893 world's fair it's a real trope but popcorn goes back to the 1893 world's fair basically this guy charles creeters who interestingly like is still the name associated with a large firm of popcorn machine manufacturers charles creeters developed a steam-powered popping wagon and took it to the 1893 world's fair popping wagon you know you get the smell you get the taste you get the free sample people had had popcorn before People used to make it at home.

I think popcorn was a breakfast cereal in the US for quite a lot of the 19th century. But the excitement of, it's an event, it's popcorn, really travelled. But why cinemas? Because especially, bear in mind, cinemas initially, movie theatres, were about emulating theatre. They're supposed to be sedate and refined and areas where you concentrate. It's not supposed to be a place where you sit there munching on snacks. Why theatres is basically the Great Depression. It coincided, of course, with talkies. So 1927, suddenly you've got a

soundtrack on the film. That means, A, you get a broader cast of clientele. You get kids, you get people going along for cheap thrills, King Kong, all of that stuff. And B, you get kids you get people going along for cheap thrills king kong all of that stuff and b you get a soundtrack covering up the sound of you munching and the cinema was a huge escape for a lot of americans in particular as a sort of affordable escape popcorn the affordable treat and actually what happened in sort of peer pressure on the cinemas vendors were setting up outside selling popcorn so they just like like if you can't beat them join them we'll make our own popcorn and sell our own popcorn and of course they realized all the benefits that we've said it costs virtually nothing it keeps for ages presto you have a meme and then during uh second world war when um there was less supply of sweets because of rationing and stuff popcorn like

still got it still selling popcorn it's interesting as well the um influence that cinema popcorn had on popcorn sales at home as well um white corn used to be the market leader in the united states but then yellow corn started out selling it because people liked the look of buttered corn like they have at the movies wow like it's not the same but it just has the right color what's good as well i think on a continuing basis is that thing of it's very satisfying in your own mouth to do the crunching but it doesn't make a lot of noise but it's still quite an audience friendly thing to eat isn't it i think some people would dispute i'm sure because some people are very sensitive i remember that was a mark hermode thing about how people shouldn't eat popcorn in cinemas because it's noisy my local cinema is one of those shishi ones that they've done up it's a

classic art deco screen but they sell supposedly fresh food for you to eat whilst you're watching it although it's still basically crisps and i went last week to watch a complete unknown and i ordered a plate of nachos if you're going to watch a complete unknown don't eat nachos because it's folk music there's no moment in the first half an hour where it's loud enough for you to munch into nachos without everyone turning around. It's a loud, loud food. Oh, I just, I actually didn't finish the plate. I was like, I'm not enjoying this because I feel too self-conscious.

Yeah, the first time I went to a cinema that served food in your seat, I was watching a documentary about the actor Harry Dean Stanton, and I ordered a salad and I was like, fuck salad is so loud lettuce is so noisy and there's no way to suck on it until it becomes mush in your mouth because it's salad you have to chew i learned from a food technologist that there were two kinds of crunch wet crunch and dry crunch dry crunch is created when little pockets of air burst in the food and wet crunch is created when little pockets of water burst in the food. Yes. But yeah, that's why lettuce is crunchy, but not in the way that Dorito is. So thinking about what you should have been eating that would have been more thematically and sonically appropriate for Complete Unknown, I'm thinking

like lentil soup or something, if you could keep the slurping quiet. I don't know what like a folk fan in the 60s would have been eating in one of those smoky clubs though. It wouldn't be lentil soup. That's like a Liberal Democrat conference type snack. Like what would they actually be eating in a New York speakeasy cool folk bar thing? I don't know if they'd be eating at all would they? They'd just be drinking whiskey or something. Smoking.

You should have been smoking. Smoking. Just smoking. Just covered in a cloud of smoke. Then you'd want me to eat the nachos. Helen? Smoking, just smoking, just covered in a cloud of smoke. Then you'd want me to eat the nachos. Helen, Oliver, though life is full of questions, there are answers you must know. One. No, it will not fall off, but moderation in all things too. Yes, there probably is, but we won't find out in our lifetimes.

Three, most people prefer colliery, but my personal favorite is Dalton. Four, if you try and slip a one, it would ruin your friendship. Yes. If you want to leave a question using your voice, all you have to do is record a voice note and email it to our email address, you know, like this person has done. Hello, Helen, Ollie and Martin the Soundbag. This is John in Oxford. I was recently clearing out my shed. It is full of boxes of stuff and it's not like worthless junk. It is stuff that is basically useful to someone somewhere, just not necessarily me. There's just so much of it. Oh my God. Helen and Ollie, answer me this. If I die and I didn't have any inheritance and I didn't have like, don't know family to foist all of this worthless

shit upon where does it go it belongs to the king john that's an england thing not everywhere has got a king to clean out your shit john i know but i was completely dumbfounded by this concept i'd never heard of this the government department in charge of what happens when you die when no one claims your stuff the unclaimed goods, is called Bonner Vacantia. Obviously, like, I suppose it kind of makes sense if you've got a big abandoned country house and no descendants that there'd be some historic law that that goes to the monarchy. But even your shed full of old crap ultimately belongs to the crown. And the crown sort of means the government like it does when the crown takes you to court but if you live in specific areas linked to the duchy of lancaster and the duchy of cornwall then

it literally goes to the royal family your shed full of shit would belong to the king if no one claimed it i love to think about prince williams sorting through people's shed shit i think it must be a fun part of the job actually like when you get that briefing as monarch as to what you've just inherited that you're not expecting like you know you get gifts from all over the world don't you oh another tiara throw it on the pile exactly but like you've got a lawnmower in oxford what are you going to do with it i mean that must be a fun conversation oh my god a huge box of old viz magazines quality it's interesting isn't it because like a lot of people don't get around to writing their will at all but i bet a lot of those people would have a different feeling about it if they realized

if they did nothing it goes to the monarchy yeah maybe maybe they'd write a bit a will just to stop that happening yeah what if your will just said none of this for the monarchy yes i don't know then i said well no because no because then you have a will and so those are your wishes and so you get to say that's the point and this only happens if because then you have a will, and so those are your wishes, and so you get to say. That's the point. And this only happens if you don't have a will. But what if there's no executor, or the executor's dead, or something like that? Well, then it would still go to the Crown in the sense of the local government, but the local government... Some poor guy who, you know, has to deal with the sewage leaks and the debt collectors also has to deal with your shed of shit and your local council.

But it would stop it going to the royal family i mean there's a pro argument for this which is if the royal family earn money through uh things that donated to them then they take less money out of the public purse plus they give a lot of charity what do you mean no that is the argument whether you like it or not why would they ever do that why are they ever going to stop taking things out the public purse well there was a an investigation by the guardian who obviously you know did come at this from their own perspective but they did identify several individuals whose homes and life savings have been used to upgrade the private property portfolio of the king and so then it's not really about restoring castles or whatever it is just like

another thing to add to this hundreds of millions of pounds worth of estate that he rents out and stuff so specify in your will if you don't want that i asked a friend of mine who does this job for a local council in the south of england and has written an amazing book about it called ashes to admin ashes to admin that's a brilliant title if someone dies and they don't really know much about them like she does all this detective work to see if there are any family or friends out there and arranges funerals that she feels like might be a reflection of what they would have wanted if they'd been able to plan it themselves. So there's a lot of care that goes into it. But she said, after they have liquidated your accounts, they will empty your house

into a skip so that they can sell the house. The house clearer might sell on anything they find of value because i'm not sure if the treasury would go out and check first because they're very understaffed and then that money goes to government coffers if the duchy of cornwall goes to prince william if duchy of lancaster goes to king chops fascinating so really they're getting money rather than like moldy old shed shit there is a rigorous rigorous window where people can apply and say, actually, I am his long lost cousin. And also, that's where the whole air hunters thing comes from, isn't it? There are these probate researchers who can, for a commission, a reputable one will take up to 35%, step in for you and find you and say, ah, well, you live in Canada, but you are the third cousin of this person.

So you're entitled to it. So it's only if all of those steps have failed, public and private sector, that your shed full of stuff would get given to Prince William. But it might happen. Well, talking of death, an appropriately final question in this episode from Michael in Swindon, who says, Helen, answer me this,

if you could have one more work from a dead or retired artist i.e one more album one more book one more film i mean i'd be here for the david bowie ashes to admin album what would it be if i've got one wish i feel like i should spend it on someone who died really young and suddenly and that a lot of people miss like selena or otis redding but i don't know what i want for myself i feel like i could guess for martin yes would it be like david lynch tom waits or jeff buckley i think the instinct is to pick someone who has loads of stuff that you already like like david barry is an obvious lots of people another barry album but there's loads of really really good there's loads of really, really good, there's loads of really good David Barry music.

I'd rather have someone who was incredibly promising and died young. Jeff Buckley is the obvious one. Maybe Jimi Hendrix, because he died pretty young and he was clearly a genius. Of course, we don't need Jeff Buckley or Jimi Hendrix because we've got you, Martin. You fill that gap for all of us.

No, you said that, not me. Yeah, I don't know. Tom Waits, I like his 21st century albums but i do think his best work was in the late 20th century so um he's not retired or dead is he well he hasn't recorded an album for 14 years so that might just be the right choice yeah i mean i think about that quite a lot yeah so like i love rem but i don't want more rem because i think they retired at the right time you You have 30 odd years of R.E.M. Exactly. And if I think back to the two artists I really loved when I was a teenager,

it would have been Michael Jackson and Woody Allen. And not only have they both effectively been cancelled for their personal lives, but artistically, probably it would be better if they both died in about 1994. What I'm saying is if they'd stopped after, you know, Dangerous and Bullets Over Broadway, respectively, they'd both have less blemished careers. But I have come up with two. I would like more plays by Oscar Wilde.

Ooh. Yeah, Importance of Being Earnest is great, isn't it? It's an absolute banger. How many plays did he write? Like about five. Five or six? Yeah. And then, I mean, obviously,

there's a reason why his poetry took a turn for sad, and that's valuable too. But, you know, I would have liked maybe after that, if suddenly everyone embraced him and was like, oh, no, it's great being gay is fine. I would have liked another five funny plays about being a Victorian because they're good. Yeah.

And also Howard Ashman, librettist of Little Shop of Horrors and Beauty and the Beast. He died at like 30 or something. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, that's a good show. Yeah, I mean, like all the Alan Menken musicals got noticeably less good after he died. Little Shop is an unusually well-written musical. Yeah.

I say that as someone who does not like musical theatre and does like Little Shop. Maybe I would go for another TV series with Adam Schlesinger songs. Oh, yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. You do. Adam Schlesinger, who was in Fountains of Wayne. Oh, I love him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. He then wrote the songs for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Okay. I did not know that. I mean, I really like Fountains of Wayne. He died during COVID, didn't he? Yeah. Yeah, good call.

Well, listeners, which dead or retired artist would you like to hear more from? Let us know. Choose wisely, because... We will make that happen in the next episode no we will not be doing that and if if your answer to that tacitly is helen ollie and martin then do remember that our current state of having come out of retirement ourselves for these initial episodes can be extended if you apply your enthusiasm to it we are enjoying being back in your ears, but we still need your help, like we said in the trailer we released,

to make Answer Me This 2.0 a sustainable project for us. So tell your friends. And your enemies. And the people you're indifferent to. Rate us on Apple Podcasts. Yeah, do tell people about the show because we'd love for it to reach new ears and the ears of people that

remember it uh from before but didn't know it's back there's still lots of those and didn't realize that they are no longer following us because it dropped off their podcast app you don't know what you don't know all they need to do is press a button it costs nothing and uh you can also support us and motivate us with money at patreon.com answer me this yeah we have over 750 paid members there now which is amazing but we really would like to get to a thousand if we get to a thousand before the end of march just so that we know we have a decent sized community there and there will be rewards but later in the year like right now we just want to see who is happy to support us to just make this show that we're delivering to you once a month.

If you can afford it, patreon.com slash answer me this. Thank you. Ollie does have a big campaign thermometer that he's colouring in for every new patron we get. Oh, I'd love to see that. And some people have written and said, I'd love to support you financially, but I can't afford a recurring subscription.

That's fine. We've always had PayPal. There's a link on our website to that. Why not organise a bring and buy sale? I mean, not opposed to it don't don't like i mean if you're going to do a charitable thing give it to a charity but then then give us some themed bring and buy sales so toby jugs and uh wedding portraits clear out the shed before you die that'd be very appropriate yeah patronizing the show is only for like when all your material needs are covered. Sure.

Don't hurt yourself to Patreonise us. That's right. What you can do that costs nothing is sending us a question via email or voice note. And our email address, which is long, can be found upon our website, answermethispodcast.com. And also on there,

you can listen to our many previous episodes and if you want to buy our first 200 episodes and our best of collections and our exclusive albums they are at answer me this store.com where there is also aforementioned link to paypal helen what else is in the zaltzman pod verse the illusionist which my entertainment show about how language works is on a little break until may but there is a rich back catalogue. And my friend who works for the council doing posthumous arrangements appeared on an episode called Death. Right, okay.

That's from a couple of years ago, but talking all about that job and also how to talk about death in a way that's not weird and awkward. So I'd recommend listening to that, theillusionist.org. What about you, Ollie? Well, four years ago when we stopped doing answer me this um i started a daily history show um so in that time i have made and with my co-host aaron mcnichol and rebecca massino 1000 episodes more than jesus christ um the show title is today in history with the retrospectors and every day on that show we tell an unusual 10minute story from that day in history.

So some of the stories we have this month in February include a town versus gown bar brawl from 1355, the man who became president of Mexico for 45 minutes, and the story of how Nike came to develop the waffle shoe with a waffle iron. It's a really fun show. If you like hearing me talk about trivia, then you will like hearing me talk about trivia on a different show too. Try us 10 minutes every day,

then binge, binge, binge, binge, binge. Search Today in History with the Retrospecters. I think I could cope with 45 minutes of being a president, but it does seem to be the right length of time for a term. With respect, I don't think you could cope with 45 minutes being a president,

but I would love to see it. I feel like you'd spend that 45 minutes just finding where the where the kettle was and which draw the post-its were in i mean spoiler but it basically happened at gunpoint and he was you know there to facilitate a coup and avoid his own death so he did what he had to yeah not cut out for it martin what have you got for us to listen to oh i've got a neutrino watch it's a daily podcast where thanks to magical computer code in the background, every episode changes every day. There's music, astronomical information. There's prompts for the creatively blocked.

So just search for Neutrino Watch wherever you get your podcasts. Remember, if you want to get the new version of the episode, just stream it or download a new version every day because some podcast apps don't play nicely with this weird technology we've created. Right. Do that. Have a lovely month. Think about questions to ask us for next month's show. We will be back again on the last Thursday of March. Hello as well, by the way, shout out to Sarah in St Albans,

who came up to me personally in the Beehive Pub and thanked me for returning the show, which was nice. Beehive Pub? Cheating on Toby Carvery, are we? Oh, it was an aperitif. Just a little shot of gravy before you go to the main event. Bye!