Answer Me This! - AMT416: LEGO Titanic, Curried Whale and World Book Day

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

AMT416’s questioneers want to know what to do with their wedding suit post-divorce, why is World Book Day, how Nelson’s Column is cleaned, whether Brits during WW2 bought whale meat from fishmongers or butchers, who is buying £530 LEGO Titanic sets at the airport, and whether the fondue party they had for their twelfth birthday was bougie.  For more information about this episode, head to answermethispodcast.com/episode416. Got questions for us to answer, or feedback about an episode old or new? Send them in writing or as voice notes to [e-mail], or you can call 0208 123 5877 to leave us a message.  AMT417 will be in your podfeed 30 April 2026, and you’ll get an episode of Answer Us Back mid-month. Also, now is a GREAT time to become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis if you haven’t already, because the next edition of our video livestream series Petty Problems is happening Sunday 29th March! Join us for that, and in return for your patronage, you also get the whole Petty Problems back catalogue, a batch of Bonus Bits each month, and an ad-free version of AMT416. If you sign up at one of the higher Patreon tiers, you get access to an RSS feed with ALL the AMT stuff EVER, including our entire back catalogue, our six themed albums, the retro AMTs, and every Bit of Crapp from the AMT App.  This episode is sponsored by:  Saily, flexible eSIM data roaming plans for when you’re abroad. Download SAILY in your app store and use our code amt15 at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase. For further details go to saily.com/amt15. The London Review of Books, the twice-monthly literary mag full of essays, reviews and more by excellent writers. Get a 6 month print and digital subscription for just £12 at LRB.me/answer. Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you're ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Answer me this is brought to you thanks to Saley. Sayley does e-sims that you can use abroad. I'm always telling people about these, partly because I'm a very boring person, but also because people don't know that this is a possibility when you travel. Used to be you had to go to like a local phone shop. And get a sim, a physical sim. Yeah, pop your old sim out, hope you didn't lose it.

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Enjoy in-store prices without leaving your home. You'll find the same regular prices online as in-store. Many promotions are available both in-store and online, though some may vary. Where can I buy an Easter egg that taste of eggs? I've never seen one shall we pitch it to Greg's. Has to be this, awesome it is. Heaven and Molly. In episode 415 of Ansomenes, we had a question from Jay in Minnesota, who was preparing to donate a kidney to a stranger, and Jay's wife was trepidacious about this.

Yeah, and we decided to give it away to a lucky listener, I seem to recall. Two. Pull their name out of their hat. Yeah. Who isn't going to be? And elder from Portland, Oregon, has written in, with some comfort maybe, to say, my cousin's husband, James, gave his kidney to his brother Jerry, and that kidney is nearly the longest still working kidney donation in the USA, over 50 years. Wow.

That's older than I am. Yeah. Ellen seems very proud of the cousin's husband and cousin husband's brother and says, I think it's a really beautiful thing to do, and it is more and more successful. Think of how much the medical field has improved since 1971. the risks are certainly much lower. Jay could save a cool person's life, not a wanker like we talked about. Yeah, I mean, the wanker risk is still there. Let's not pretend it's not.

Always. I'd say an increasing risk. I did actually Google celebrity kidney recipients to see whether there's been a true wanker that's received a kidney that we could all agree and deserve one. And actually, the list, although I suspect big kidney has intervened to make sure it's a popular list, they all seem like people I'd give my kidney to. Tina Turner Yes, Selena Gomez

Tracy Morgan Neil Simon I feel like Neil Simon would write a good sitcom about having my kidney but these guys are brothers so this isn't what we were talking about we were talking about

and this is where the problem got sticky and difficult altruistic kidney donation to somebody you don't know Jay was saying I want to give my kidney regardless even if they are a wanker and how do I tell my partner that's a good thing to do

and I'm not sure we've quite got the answer here although I appreciate the anecdotal evidence Tia from New Jersey has also written in to say, instead of assuaging your partner's fear, why not just don't donate a kidney and instead give a huge donation

to the Kidney Foundation? Or do an earnest YouTube video imploring others whose partners do not have such fears to donate a kidney. That's like carbon offsetting for kidneys. This is just kicking the problem to other people rather than... Like, this is something Jay really wants to do, so...

Yeah, I don't think making a huge... video saying, effectively, I'm not as good a person as I'd like to be, but I am at preaching to other people that they should be better than I am. I don't think that's going to help Jay scratch their it. No. I also think that, like, there are some charities where giving them money is definitely the thing to do, but, like, with kidney donation, you can't, like, buy one at Costco. You have to grow them out of human beings.

So the donors is probably the important thing, isn't it? You know, like at the Vanity Fair Oscar party, you get in if you're holding an Oscar, no questions asked. I wonder, at the Kidney Foundation. turn up with a kidney, you're in. Do you what I mean? Like, it doesn't matter what you paid. Just in a carrier bag.

Just wrapped in a paper knackin. Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. B.Y. OK. We've had an email from Andy, age 48 from Chesterfield, who says, I've been watching a lot of BBC archive clips on YouTube. And I've been watching the bowel loosening footage, she says, of John Noakes's cleaning Nelson's column.

This was a Blue Peter classic from the 70s. Yep. using just ladders, slacks and a bucket. As in he was using a pair of slacks to buff up Nelson's column? As in he's on a really wobbly ladder. He has no safety harness, no helmet, and is wearing wide-bottomed flares. That's where the slacks come in.

Yes, well, it was 1977. Yes, everyone was. For people who don't know what Nelson's column is, all right, it's a 170-foot-tall column made of granite in the middle of Trafalgar Square in London, with a 17-foot statue of Lord Admiral Nelson on top to commemorate the victory at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805 at which he died. Correct. I like that we're not defining John Noakes or Blue Peter, but well done on that.

John Noakes, TV presenter of Kids TV show in 1970s. And as terrifying as this looks, the TV presenter John Noakes doing it, the camera operator had to go to the top before him with their 1977-era camera. Terry, he's name-checked in the piece, which I think is John Noakes sort of effectively nodding to an adult audience. Give it up for Terry. He's gone further than I have here. Terry's climbed up first and then lent over the top to get the aerial view of nooks with no harness climbing the world's most terrifying ladder. And also because the statue is standing on a kind of wide plinth on top of the column. And so the ladder, the spindly ladder going all the way up the column,

then has to sort of bend back so that they can get onto the plinth scale. It's outrageously perilous, like clearly very, very dangerous. Not just kind of like fun for kids' TV, let's pretend it's dangerous stuff, but actually genuinely health and safety hasn't been invented yet. It's just a dangerous thing to do and they shouldn't be doing it. They treated Blue Peter presenters like an endlessly renewable resource throughout the 20th century. Anyway, Andy has been watching this clip and says, Helen answered me this, how is Nelson's column cleaned these days?

Is it still done with ropes, etc? Is it scaffolding or is it something less obvious? Something less obvious? Like ghosts. Like a really powerful hose from a long way away. drone that's where it's going isn't it that's for the future i reckon cherry picker they do use cherry pickers they do partial cleans with cherry pickers they'll do a little clean every so often and before cherry pickers they would use steeple jacks what's the steeple jack a steeple jack a steeple jack is someone who climbs buildings and things on ropes in order to do cleaning and restoration and stuff i'd say steeples aren't

really the majority of their work now but is still a quite a common job because there's some things that like you can't really get to without just being a human dangling on a rope. But they don't clean the whole of Nelson's column all that often. And John Noakes certainly didn't do the whole thing. He just buffed the statue's nose or something. Yeah, I don't think anyone thought that John Noakes goes back regularly. Well, he's dead now. So the last times that there was a thorough cleaning were 1968,

1988, 1986 and 2006, which were actually the only restorations since the column was installed in 1843. And for the 86 and 2006, restorations, they put up scaffolding and used sandblasters in 1968 and then steam cleaners in 2006 and also a light abrasive so they can just rub it without taking off too much of the stonework. I mean, what I loved about the archive footage as well is that the guy who's showing nooks up to the top is very much sort of out of central castings, cheeky chappy bloke who works on Nelson's column in the 70s. And I'm thinking now that person would be, you know, they'd probably work for English heritage,

They probably take it really seriously, like the history stuff, you know, whereas this guy was treating it just like it was any other building, basically, just like he was cleaning a wimpy. But it's interesting that it doesn't get clean that often because, yeah, I've looked at Nelson Collum and thought, yeah, there was that whole thing about how they clean it, but it doesn't look clean. That makes sense if it's only every 20 years. Yeah, they sort of spot cleaning it.

And then in 2006, the scaffolding, which was sponsored by a bank, and that paid for the 400 grand cleaning bill. Was it admiral? It must have been admiral. No, sadly it was Zurich. Off branch. Wow. How did Admiral miss that opportunity?

They absolutely fucked it. Jesus Christ. But the scaffolding was up for three months because they were doing like restoration to the stonework. Nelson's arm was at the time held on by metal because it had been struck by lightning and they took the metal out and like fixed it with a stone peg. So all that stuff is happening as well as cleaning. But I read a very detailed article by the company Coventry scaffolding, which, sorry Martin is a London-based firm despite the name.

And they are the company that put up the scaffolding for the 1968. clean. And they said it was quite difficult because the base of the column is square and then it changes from square to round and tapers. And I thought, well, I've never considered the complications of scaffolding a tapering square to round column. At height as well, because it's one thing to say you work in scaffolding and you do a block of flats that's six store is tall. The else's column is tall. And there's nothing else around it to lean on to. It's tall. They said you had to remember to go to the toilet beforehand. Yes.

But they remarked on the fact that some of the stones that make up the column weigh more than 12 tons and at the time it was built in the 1840s, they had to get them up there without mechanical lifting. Didn't even have John Noakes in his flared trousers to help. No, just to tuck them into the flares. They also said there's less pigeon ship than you'd think on the statue at the top of the column because it's too cold for the pigeons to roost there and their food is too far away. Interesting.

The pigeons like the lions, don't they? That I've noticed. Yeah, they're convenient. And you're near a lot of tourists. Foods. You know a lot of McDonald's rappers. Yeah, whereas not too much at the top. Fun fact about dirty iconic buildings in London,

which I discovered doing an episode of today in history. Number 10 Downing Street, you know, you think of the bricks being black. I assumed they were designed black. They're not. That's dirt. It's all dirt. Are they like pale sandstone? I think what happened is it became an iconic building because it was dirty.

And so over time, they may have replaced bricks with bricks that are that color. But originally that was smog that made it that color. It was like London air and pollutants. it wasn't supposed to be that. It was a brick house. It was a normal brick house. And that's the colour it went from being in central London. I remember in the early 90s going to visit my brothers when they were studying at Oxford.

And the high street was this sort of like smeary grey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, all of the old buildings. And then they cleaned them and I was like, oh, this place is yellow. How confusing. Yellow. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's amazing, isn't it?

After centuries, you just completely have no relation to the original architectural vision at all. Thomas has been inspired to write in, he says, by your recent question about books. on sale in airports. Yes, the large paperbacks. Yes. Thomas is writing about something even more large. I was recently in Gatwick Airport before a flight to France, says Thomas. And as a result of being far too early due to the travel-related anxieties of my holiday

companions, relatable to me, I had a lot of time to look through the airport shops, including the Lego store there. Oh, well, you've landed on your feet if you're at a branch of an airport with a Lego store, to be honest, that's good. I've, like, padded out a Dixon's by making myself look at each section for 10 minutes. Like a little boring show and tell for just yourself. I mean, it's that or like try all the Tom Ford perfume again. You know what I mean?

Yeah, but then you're stinking on an aeroplane which is antisocial. Exactly, right. And a different stink in each arm and like each patch of wrist where you sprayed it. That's not what Tom Ford would want. Well, in that Lego store in Gatwick Airport, Thomas says, I spotted a Lego version of the Titanic with a special discounted airport price of, wait for it? Yeah.

Only £530 pounds. Wow, that is, yeah, that's expensive even for a stupid airport purchase. Yeah, what is the usual price of a Lego Titanic, though? 58999 on Lego.com UK at the moment. Yeah, so you're not really saving a lot. Well, you're saving 50 quid, which is what you'd expect. This excursion raised two questions for me, says Thomas. Olli, answer me this.

First, how long after a massive disaster? Does it take to make a Lego set of it? Will we see a Lego Twin Towers set in the next 100 years? Or is that incident too political to ever lead to brickification? And secondly, and more pressingly, who is buying a 530 quid Lego set at the airport? The set is so massive that it would take up someone's entire hand luggage allowance, and it doesn't seem like a spur of the moment purchase,

both because of price and physical size. The shop was after security, so you'd have to buy an airport ticket to actually get that special discounted price. So I can't imagine it ever being worth it. Has anyone bought one of these ever? No, they don't. That's basically marketing, isn't it?

I mean, of course, occasionally once a year, you get the pressed business executive that doesn't spend any time with these children who quickly bundles an expensive thing into a bag and presents it to them and doesn't care what it costs to get it on the plane. But generally, a lot of those airport shops are marketing, aren't they? They don't want you to buy it a discount?

They want you to see it and then buy it in the real world and talk about it like we are now. Okay, so it's just like a 3D billboard. Basically, yeah. But if you were to buy it, yes, if you've bought an item that is too large to fit in the overhead bin or under the seat in front of you, you can still put it in the hold at the gate. It's just the airline might charge you for doing so.

So it's still an option. It might mean that you've paid the 50-quit difference that you've just saved, though. How long after a massive disaster does it take to make a Lego set of it? I'm not sure there's a rule. But there is, you know, this kind of well-known calculation in comedy, isn't there, of tragedy plus time. You've sort of put your finger on it. You can make jokes about the Titanic now. There is a musical, which is a comedy about Titanic playing in the West End right now.

You couldn't make a full-length musical about 9-11 yet. No. But I think you probably could in 70 years time. Living memory, that's the thing, isn't it? Living memory. But when you say is that incident too political to ever lead to brickification, I mean, Lego, obviously corporately would not do a Al-Qaeda set. But I think the Twin Towers themselves

as iconic buildings of the New York skyline from the 1970s, I could imagine that happening now, couldn't you? I think there were enough young people working at Lego that know that that would lead to a million people buying the set and then doing memes with it. Just to do the meme. Just to do the meme, but that would also be bad for their brand, I think. Well, the question is, do people do that with the Titanic one?

Again, the implication here is that because the Titanic was a disaster, you know, it's bad taste to buy the ship. But actually, it's also an architectural marvel before it crashed into an iceberg. You're not buying the Lego set split in half with people drowning, are you? You're buying the boat. So I'm not even sure that is in bad taste.

It is a memorable, iconic thing. And I suppose if you're marketing any massive ship Lego set, that is a famous one. It's a famous one. And some of the ones that didn't sink and didn't have a blockbuster film made about them might be a harder sell.

Yes. What about a Lego Hindenberg? That would be difficult to pull off. But I did, on my recent holiday, buy a completely unpreicted impulse airport thing. A massage gun. On the way home or on the way out? On the way home. Always kind of wanted to try one.

And the reason was, it was that thing of I thought, I'm never again going to spend 10 minutes looking at massage guns. That's it. This is the allotted time in my life. I've looked at three different brands, tried them on my neck. Might as well just choose the one. If I'm ever going to buy one, might as well just get this one. And how is it?

I do not regret it, Ellen. Oh, good. It's the immense vibration of this thing. It is like one of those things construction workers have by the side of the road to dig into the concrete. It's like that. Like a hammer drill. Yeah.

I thought that you'd sort of build up slowly to the relief. But you put it on your shoulder and it's immediately like, oh, immediately, two seconds, oh! And you put it in place where you didn't even know you needed that, like your ass cheek. Oh, yeah, you're getting personal with it. You know, my ass feels fine. And then I put it on my glute and I'm like, oh!

It's so good I absolutely love it Isn't there a history of people trying to use those for sex and just like getting really bruised vulvas Yes I do keep mine in my bedside table

because that's where I keep my shoulders but I do worry that the cleaner will assume it's a just massive like hyper-packed dildo but I mean I'm cool with that it isn't so You keep your shoulders

in your bedside table In my bed When I wake up in the morning That's where I want it That's where they are But it's the same place where you would keep a sex toy because it's also where my genitals are. That's what I mean.

Could you also strap a whisk to it and use it to froth milk for a cappuccino? Definitely. The power is extraordinary. If you've got a question, email your question. To unsubmit this podcast to give a mother. When Westcham first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion. Inline skates were everywhere.

And two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Where is Daredevil? I'm right here. Don't miss the return of Marvel Television's Daredevil born again. So what's next?

I'll be liberated. We're to take this city back. In an all-new news. season now streaming only on Disney Plus. They're hunting us. It's time we started hunting them. I can work with that. There's nobody

this should be tons of fun. Marvel television's Daredevil Born again. Now streaming only on Disney Plus. Here is a question from an anonymous man who incidentally by the way says, I'm so glad that you're back. I first started listening to you when I was 15 or 16 thanks to iTunes

highlight. Wow. And it feels very strange now writing to you about my divorce. Oh boy. And the story goes like this. I separated from my ex-wife around three years ago and have since got divorced. I'm now in a serious relationship with someone else and I've moved in with them. Congratulations. Everyone mentioned in this email is in their early 30s, he says.

I still have my suit from my wedding day, which, while not completely extravagant, was expensive for me and does stand out not being a classic black or navy blue. Cool. I've not mentioned that I was married in this suit to my current partner, and she hasn't ever seen it, as I don't often have a need to wear a suit, and I wouldn't wear it to work. While she's comfortable with me being divorced, I could understand there being some weirdness around me wearing a suit that I was married in around her. So, Helen, answer me this.

Should I keep it? Also, whilst this has been saved in my drafts, I've just found my wedding ring. What do I do with that? Obviously, I'm never wearing it again. Yeah, fair enough. Gold prices are currently high. Yeah. Sell the ring or melt it down and turn it into something else. I mean, it's literally what pawnbrokers are for, isn't it?

This exact scenario. If you're not sentimentally attached to it, that's why they're there. I'll tell to a jeweller, I think. You could probably get a better price. I've got a really boring response to this, and it is to have a conversation with your partner about this. Ask what they would think about the suit if you ever did want to wear it or need to wear it. Like, if you don't think you're ever going to use it again, I would put it on vintage. or Facebook marketplace or something, if you think, well, this is a nice suit still fits. A way to neutralise it, having had this conversation with your partner,

is to wear it a lot. Like, don't save it for special occasions. Create so many different associations with it that it no longer has this huge, overpowering one. Or accessorize it, so it looks totally different. Absolutely. Put some patches on it. Put some badges on it.

Some flare, yeah. Yeah. Like you work in TGI Fridays. But yeah, wear the trousers separately, wear the jacket separately, just like give the suit a different life. That's good. I think though the critical thing is your feelings of a secret that you don't want to have. And so just have a conversation about it because it is ultimately just a suit and it sounds like,

you know, you've moved on substantially and hopefully your current partner feels that to you. Although actually, I mean, I know this is slightly playing the card of, but what if there are a wanker you're giving your kidney to? A useful conversation to have with your new partner is to find out how she'd actually feel about it from the point of view of like, I'm obviously not still in love with my ex-wife. I'm obviously in love with you because I'm having this conversation with you

about how you feel about it. If she's really weird about it, it might be quite good to know that. You wouldn't have known otherwise if you just assume how she's going to feel. You get together with people at any point, basically, beyond your childhoods and people have had a life.

You know, there's stuff that's happened. There's choices that they've made. There's relationships they've had. There's suits that they've shagged in. Yeah, we don't know if they've actually shagged in this suit. We don't. He does. Sure.

It's a consideration. I'll add that to the list of associations the suit is coming with. I think some people find it very hard to deal with the fact that their partner has a past, but you know, as an adult you got to. And so you're right that having this conversation with the now partner would be psychologically important, even if the suit is just an implement for doing that. The fact that a relatively valuable piece of costume in both the form of the ring and the suit didn't come up in the divorce itself. is actually a sign of positivity that you didn't do too badly out of the divorce because these are things that people typically sell

so they can pay for the legal fees, aren't they? It's just like, oh, we don't need this anymore, we've got this bill. Maybe it's just not worth enough to make a dent in the bill. Yeah, but when it is, that's no better. Like, I've been looking into this. Legally, sometimes the ring is considered a marital asset. Sometimes it's considered a gift. Oh.

So this can be part of the argument between lawyers when you talk about an expensive wedding ring. Let's say it's worth, I don't know, 50 grand. Wow. Then people are like, well, it was a gift. It was given to me on my wedding day. And then they say, no, well, that was only as part of the contract that we signed, where we were doing it together, which I think is bullshit.

Because if we're being honest, gift is clearly the appropriate. It's the closest thing to what is happening there where you put it on someone's finger. You don't say with this ring, of which I continue to own 55% I be wed, do you? It's just that's not the deal. I will say, A, people who are willing to give a 50 grand ring are probably more likely to be an absolute asshole about, well, anything, but the dissolution of a marriage. And our friend, Nick, who is a divorce lawyer,

has told us many times that you should only deploy a divorce lawyer when you have so much money you can afford to lose so much money. Having a divorce lawsuit. Yes. Yes, doing it through a lawyer probably ends up costing more than not doing it through a lawyer. It costs substantially more. But it's for the person who wants to know that they've not given away things that they wouldn't have to otherwise.

Well, he was saying, I don't understand why people who are rich enough to do this will quibble over all this stuff. And I'm like, well, it's because they've translated their emotions into this tangible thing. Yes. It's not rational about the money.

That's just an implement. But that's not really what Anon is asking about. We assume not, since he's just found it in a drawl or something else. Exactly. With suits, generally, I mean, obviously everyone has different lives. but here in 2026 as a 44 year old man I wear suits so infrequently

that I've basically decided now to pivot to hiring fancy suits Oh yeah So I've kept the ones that are like the nicest ones that I've got I've got two suits that were tailored for me Or like semi-tailed, you know, they're off the peg and then I got them adjusted Yeah, so I've kept those two At the point I get too fat for them I think I'm going to give them away And then hire them for my next two

Because I just think I'm literally wearing one every two years I might as well choose one for the event and make a thing out of it. Yeah. And also a lot of events now don't require suit wearing. Like I think there's a bit more impetus for men to jazz around a bit more with their formal wear. Yes. I miss wearing a suit though. Do you?

Like a lounge suit. Yeah, I never wore one for work, but a lone suit. You can wear a suit, Martin, for this job if you want. You could put one on right now. It would look fantastic if you're wearing a suit. You've got some really nice jackets, Martha. It would really help our socials if you were in a dinner jacket. It looks really cool.

I mean things I really like I like wearing t-shirts for work because I feel like the work I do is practical and I like to feel like I'm a sort of audio mechanic I know that sounds really stupid but that's the mindset I get into. I'm like I'm not a fancy guy, I'm just squeezing the guts of audio. You need one of those work shirts that says

Soundman on the side and a badge. But I do love wearing a suit. I think I look good in a suit. And yet you so rarely wear a suit and the suit that you have that you bought for our wedding sort of purpley Oswald boating. I can't fit into that. That's too slim.

It would have been too slim for our wedding except for I got gastroenteritis before. Good tip. Yeah, no. Ollie, what did you wear to get married? It was a suit. It was a Brooks Brothers suit, which I think to Americans listening is probably quite a funny idea because it's like the 80s Wall Street, Taylor.

But in Britain, there is only one branch of Brooks Brothers, and they're on Regent Street. And I spent a day walking down Regent Street going into 10 different shops, drying on suits, and I got suit blindness after a while. And also, I had a four-month-a-month-old. old baby with me at the time, who I couldn't just chuck into the street. So when we got to Brooks Brothers, I think they gave, they might have even like let him play somewhere on like the carpet whilst I changed.

Was he a harsh critic of your fashion choices? Yeah, if he really didn't like it, he threw up on them. So I just, at that point, I was just like, okay, this one, I'll go with this. The fifth suit I've tried. They're all the same. And this seems nice. So I ended up with a pretty classic, yeah, navy blue Brooks Brothers affair. Have you worn it again?

I must have but because I got married in Gibraltar where it's obviously like sort of seven degrees hotter and more humid than in the UK at that time of year I discussed all that with the guy in the shop deliberately chose a fabric that worked well in humidity Oh ingenious

So it was a summer suit I have what I think I've worn it to like go to horse racing or something similar like something in the summer Or maybe someone else's wedding once in the summer but it only works in the summer, is what I'm saying. So no, it's not. It doesn't become my multi-purpose wear-to-office meetings type suit

because actually it's a summer suit. Summer's coming, Ollie. Time to smarten up. Yeah, going to be wearing it every day from now on. I think you should. Pink handkerchief. I think that when you do have clothes that are special, wear them, don't save them

because I had a dress, like it wasn't an expensive dress. It was like 30 or 40 quid. And I was like, oh, I'm going to save this dress because I really like it. And then by the time I was like, special occasion time to wear the dress. I was like, not really.

really feeling it anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're the good stuff now. I hear that and I agree, but I think there's got to come a point where you acknowledge that sometimes preserving things from disaster is worth doing. So my grandma had a dining set. It had been in her sitting room for 40 years. I remember it in the 80s having plastic on it and thinking how ridiculous it was that

she had plastic on her dining set in the way that people of that generation did. after she died it went into my mum's house after two weeks my son Toby sat on it had lunch and smeared gravy all down it and now it's stained forever Oh right when you said dining set I pictured like ceramics but you mean like The chairs the chairs the table Yeah it's like cushions Wow he took out like a whole set of furniture in one meal

Just one chair but it stained it forever And I was kind of thinking like my philosophy is use it don't save it for best What's best But then it turns out best isn't a five year old smearing gravy on it Can you get it re-apulstered? Or cleaned, just professionally cleaned. Yes, I think you probably can. Do you like it?

It's nostalgic. That's the thing, though, isn't it? It's like, well, I'd never choose this, but I can't get rid of it because of grandma's. I never choose it. No, I could get rid of it. I like it in my mum's house. If and when my mum dies, I don't want it in my house, no. Yeah, but it's nice to see it occasionally.

Maybe we should just smear a gravy on every chair to make it match. Well, then you can sort of think, do I actually like this chair, even with gravy on it or am I keeping it out of sentiment? Maybe that is a useful rubric that Toby inadvertently invented. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, maybe that's what anonymous man

who's written in should do, just smear gravy all over his wedding suit and decide whether he still wants it. If he does, then obviously it's worth having the conversation. There's more kind of culture around people trashing their wedding dresses after the marriages have ended.

Yes, true. And not so much for suit wearers. Yes. But then wedding dresses usually costs so much more and you really can't wear them to, you know, funerals and stuff. really could. It'll be bold. Please send me pictures if you did.

I think that the considerate thing to do with stuff that might otherwise get handed down is to deal with it before you die so that your grieving family are not like, what the fuck am I going to do with this soup tourine? It's a bit dark though, isn't it? Because then you are walking around, like, kind of giving your household possessions to people that visit. That's what my granny did.

It's a bit macabre. It was a bit macabre, but it did save a lot of time afterwards. She died as efficiently as she lived. Fucking right, she did. I retired at 30, I live on a beach, I'm a little bit bored but passive incomes a peach, I keep my empire running, whilst I get my asshole bleached,

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Yay. Try it for yourself. Go to Squarespace.com slash answer. You can save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. if you use our code answer. Here's a question from B, who says, Olli, answer me this. Why, why, why, world book day.

This is a question, bored of passion, rage, despair. Yeah, that's a primal hell there of pain echoed by unorganized primary school parents everywhere. Yep. Since my child started school in the UK, says B, I now have to care about this day for the rest of what? Primary school? Yep.

B has numerous questions. One, why does World Book Day exist in this current form? Two, when did this parents' craft nightmare begin? Three, is this also a thing in other countries? And why is it called World? Is it because it's something to do with books from all over the world? Four, who created this day? And for what purposes?

I'm going to add the invisible question. B doesn't ask five, how can B find that person and kill them? B says, I'm from a South American country. And in my country, we have a book day as well, but something beautifully simple. Publishers would come to schools, sell books at discounted prices, and everyone went back home happy and educated and certainly not stressed from going to bed at 2am and with hot glue gun burns. Let me just sort of preface my answer to all these questions

by saying that I think I generally prefer a world with World Book Day in it to a world without World Book Day in it. But I do obviously, you know, as a stressed and busy middle-aged out of two. With limited interest in crafting costumes? I think that's probably fair. Identify with the frustrations that B is exhibiting here. World Book Day was actually created by UNESCO. The first one was on April the 23rd, 1995.

And interestingly, it was originally called World Book and Copyright Day. Oh, kids love copyright. Oh, God. I just love the idea of dressing up my children. As a big C. Yes. Today you're going to be dressed as my favourite legal protection for authorship. I don't think they're so fucking dress as lawyers.

And the reason that UNESCO chose the date of April the 23rd is because the whole thing is inspired by a Catalan tradition, which in itself was inspired by Savantes, who wrote Don Quixote. Is it a tradition on a par with the shitting log at Christmas? No, he was known for distributing books to his friends and family as gifts, basically. kind of like a proto Dolly Parton. And the date that Savantis died was April the 23rd.

That's the same date that Shakespeare died. So you've got these two great European authors, both died on the same day. So UNESCO chose that as World Book Day and World Book and Copyright Day. And the purpose of it really was just to spread the word about literacy, particularly in countries, obviously, where children don't have access to books or very worthy like you expect from UNESCO. But then what happened? And the reason why the answer is a bit more complicated is to, you know, does it still happen all over the world? What happened is that in the UK, the Blair government registered a charity. So there's a non-profit called World Book Day, which exists to publicize and recruit schools and sponsors to get involved.

But it's now become bigger than the event itself in the rest of the world. So yes, 100 countries around the world do participate in World Book Day, but more of it. along the lines that B is suggesting. Whereas in this country, because it's registered here, and also because there's this kind of public-private partnership thing going on, it's just become this absolute monster. So the business then about why dress up, because it's about books, why can't they just give out free books and talk about books?

The issue is not every child likes books. Not every child likes dressing up either. No, I didn't. I mean, when Helen was a kid, she was led to pot on a potato, And that was how she prayed to dress up. And her family were like, I was dressing up day. Sometimes she'd have a little hat made from an actual potato. It's actually worse than that.

Of course it is. My school had an annual muffty day. You know, you wear your home clothes to school. Yes. I was at school six days a week, right? So it was only one day a week where I had to wear my own clothes. My family did not have money. Most of my clothes were like not representative of how I wanted to dress and I didn't have style.

Yes. And so often I would just be like, I'm just going to wear school uniform to Mofti Day. I'm just going to pretend I forgot. That is the saddest thing. That is much sadder than what I said. Told you, it would be worse. Oh, God. Anyway, the whole point is about getting children to read for fun. Reading for fun is the single biggest indicator, apparently, that a child is going to grow up

to enjoy a happier and more successful life. This is according to World Book Day's own research. Well, maybe they should stop making people study Thomas Hardy books at school. So the idea of dressing up and associating dressing up is to try and get children to think about books in a fun way, demonstrating that they've read and understand books without saying let's do a comprehension exercise. You can ask the class. So who you can address up as? What's the most fun character we've learned about this year? And then you're talking about books and trying to establish the idea that it's fun. So, I mean, that's kind of the idea. But what's happened is because it's an enormous stress, especially if you've got multiple children and you've got a job and you

forget. And because Amazon Prime exists, what happens is 24 hours before, people are like, oh, fuck, we haven't got a costume. I'm not going to spend all night. fashioning a rolled-dahl character out of tinfoil. So I'm going to order a, you know, off the peg, where's Wally? It's become a thing where so many kids now turn up in commercial costumes that some of the imagination and creativity of building your own has gone, but also children from poorer backgrounds tend not to be able to afford those. So they come in the homemade costumes so you have this social strata that's evident in what they're wearing.

So what might be cool is if Four World Book Day, you made your costume at school out of just like bits of rubbish and stuff. Yeah. You know, maybe that would be better. It's not mutually exclusive. So, like, most schools have various different options of things. So my older son's school this year did comfy clothes instead of dress up as a character to embellish the idea that you read in bed, you read in a comfy chair, come in your pyjamas.

Then it's like absolutely literally zero effort. You just don't get changed that day. And then, you know, everyone's great in the atmosphere. if we were going to relax and tell each other stories. I'll be honest, I was in the assembly and I thought it was a cop-out. I mean, I actually thought they'd taken it too far the other way and look lazy.

Because I really liked it when we went the year before and all the teachers had dressed up because it's like, oh, that's Mr. Donnell and there's Mr. Bump. I mean, that's quite fun. The best year they did, I think, from the perspective of making it accessible to everybody was there was one year where they said, bring a wooden spoon and decorate it as your favourite character.

So you could bring an old wooden spoon from home. Our Mr. Ticklewood and spoon is still in our plant pot in the kitchen has been for six years. So that lasted as well. As a childless person, sorry, child free person, I just keep track of this from friends posting pictures on Facebook and occasionally statuses of how riling it is. But it's not just World Book Day. They seem to be so many days a year

where they have to rustle together a special outfit for their kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is kind of the issue, actually. As you say, Muffty Day, that's still a thing. Christmas jumper day, wear yellow for children in need, wear a ribbon for mental health where, you know, it's like, there's a thing every probably two weeks. And if your kids are at different schools like mine are, then that's every week

on average. You've got to remember in addition to everything else. Pee on Monday and Wednesday, swimming on Thursday, pick up late on Tuesday. You know, it's just like, you just can't remember it all. And so you end up doing mad last minute shit. So there's one year where we had completely forgotten that it was World Book Day

literally in the WhatsApp group on the way to school. It's like, oh, fuck, it's well booked day. As it happened at the time, Harvey was a fan of Horrid Henry. So we were like, um, Harvey, just come back in the house. Like, we just got him in the car. We've got, come back in the house, take your school uniform off. We got an old t-shirt and turned it inside out. Then we took him to the field at the back of the house and got him to roll around in the mud. Got some hair gel and like made his hair into a massive quiff. Hey, presto, horrid Henry. Incredible. Like it was actually quite a good costume. So you just need to

carry some mud and hair gel in the back of the car for emergencies. And you're golden. But we've done the full spectrum. I mean, even this year we did both like the very crude handmade and the full-on authorized costume because Harvey wanted to be Willy Wonka. And actually that's quite a hard costume to fashion from scratch because it's a suit. Yes, nice tailoring, nice fabrics, no mud. Some chocolate, perhaps.

When you said the handmade, I assumed handmade's tail initially. And I thought that's a bold choice That's yeah Yeah that's right Yeah Toby wanted to go As Christian Gray from 50 Shades But we went on to We went on to Amazon

And we got like You know like if you're spending 20 You might as well spend 30 So we got you got the proper It was very much the authorised Warner Brothers Gene Wilder as Willie Wonka costume Which Harvey was wearing

Which was pretty cool But like completely unnecessary Whereas Toby He didn't care about World Book Day Didn't know what you wanted to be So we just decided Right you're Mr Twit Oh classic

We got an old fake beard that we had from another Halloween costume and stuck some sausage puppets in it, like finger puppets that we had from their play kitchen with some Velcro into the beard. That's all he had. It was a great costume. I mean, he looked like Mr. Twit. Yeah, so you just got to go as people

who kind of dress fucked up as their brand. Yeah. Or upcycle generic costume. We had another year where Harvey wanted to go as Tock from the Phantom Toll booth. Great book. Dog costume that year. Yeah.

But then the following year, when Toby didn't have a preference, we were like, right, you're Harry McClary, and it was the same costume without a clock. So there's always that. Just use them again. And if you wanted him to use the clock, then he'd go as FlavorFave, because I'm sure that there's a book with Flavor Flav in it. Yeah.

I mean, it's a bit galling that this thing that UNESCO founded ultimately benefits Jeff Bezos because that is where people's emergency costume shopping occurs. Yes, absolutely. And also, you know, it's supposed to be a world event. The point was to get everyone reading. not cranking out more shit. Yay, Lanfield. But I personally have quite an open mind to, like, superheroes.

Some middle-class parents have a real thing about, like, don't come as a superhero to World Book Day because it's not good. They're in books. It's a book. It's a graphic novel is a book. I think what's important is that the kid has read a comic book and can say, I'm dressed as the Green Goblin from this comic book. That's fine, I think.

It is a bit weird when they're like minions and stuff, because that is just a Halloween costume. Where do you stand on people coming as characters from books, but the books are only really deliberate spin-offs from TV shows and not really books in their own right? Well, some of my favourite books when I was nine years old were movie tyons. Like, I think I read The Gremlin's movie Tyon and I genuinely enjoyed it. My friend Don has been lending me the novelisations of Cracker, and those are surprisingly good. They've got some really good writers. Talking about slack costumes for just making people look dirty and lazy.

That's a great costume for next year for today, is it? Yeah, Robbie Coltrane as Cracker. Yeah, just get him a blazer and some cigarettes. And kids love Cracker. I mean, it does actually the whole event really underline how few children's authors have actually cut through in this readily identifiable visual way. It's literally rolled dull characters, Harry Potter characters,

Julia Donaldson characters and Where's Wally? That's it. All the others are the renegade ones that represent 10% of what people turn up as. And those, of course, are the interesting. If a girl comes as Jane Eyre, that's actually like, oh, wow, okay, she's read a book. You know what I mean? A friend sent their kid as Alan Bennett this year, which absolutely thrilled me.

That's good. Everybody else was dressed as Harry McClary. I didn't say anything. Helen and Ollie, answer me this. I don't want you to dance or kiss, but reveal your theories and take off your muzzle, ponder my query and solve this puzzle. It's swell. Good golly, you crazy kids.

Oh, Helen. and Ollie answer me this. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today

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Business. Here's a question from Nigel in Austin, Texas, who says, in a Barbara Pim novel I'm reading. I love that a man in Texas is reading Barbara Pim. Good for you, Nigel. Carry on. Set in England just after the Second World War. One of her characters mentions

Curried whale. Yep. So Helen answered me this was whale curry really a thing back then? Afraid so. Who sold whale meat, fishmongers, or butcher? and could a strict Catholic eat it on a Friday? I believe it was categorised as fish for Catholics so they could eat it for Lent.

But there was another reason why the taxonomy of meat slash fish for whales was important. During the war, meat was rationed. Fishing around Britain was much curtailed because it was far more dangerous because of German new boats. The whaling industry for Britain was still very much a thing until the 1960s and in the war,

whale products were really important. Like they used the glycerine for explosives. They use the fat in margarine and soap. They use the oil for like machinery, like sewing machines. I love that. Just can I say, when I was reading Moby Dick, there were some footnotes around all the different things they could use Blubber for. And I think it's one of my favorite things I've ever read.

I was just like, what? Oil from their heads for candles, oil from their stomachs for cosmetics, lubricants for machinery, make a basket out of it. It's like, how many bloody things can you get out of Wales? Amazing. Yeah, corset tree, pre-plastics. They were using like whale. A whale bone, yeah, petticoats and all that.

Baleen was used for like umbrella spokes. It was used to make brushes, also used in corsetry. But the meat in Britain was not very popular because it is at best bland. It stinks whilst cooking it. It can be very tough. They would have to like soak it and then steam it and then soak it again. And then douse it with as much flavour as possible, hence the curry. I was going to say, because the only British way of cooking things in this era

would have been boiling it to fuck. So it's going to stink out everything, isn't it? I think also if you roasted it, it would just be like inedible. Also rank. Super tough. Yeah. But whale meat was not rationed during World War II. And even then, the Brits were like, no fucking gross.

Wow. Even in the face of no bananas and all you can eat whale, they're like, no thanks. Yeah. I'm just going to eat brick dust. So Britain had this huge surfeit of whale meat that no one wanted to eat. It was canned. It was dehydrated. The canned stuff, they were like, look, it's just like corned beef, but it's whale.

and we call it Huiken, W-H-A-C-O-N. That's brilliant. Love of war food. H-E-K-N, like bacon, but whale. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But because the civilians wouldn't eat it, they tried to feed it to the army. And that's where the meat-fish thing becomes important

because in India, the British army had a lot of Muslims fighting for it. And therefore, being vague about where meat had come from and how it had been killed did not go down well with them. So the army were like, it's fish. It's fish. Yeah, it's fish. Nonetheless, the troops were like, fuck no. Fuck, no.

Okay. Here's a question from someone who would love a fondue party again. Aw. You can have one. Dreams can come true. Take some cheese and put it in a fondue. The other day, my friend and I, they say, were talking about my upcoming birthday.

And I told her about the time I was throwing my 12th birthday party circa 2004. And it was a meat fondue party. Yes. Meat fondie. Don't catch Gabrielle's thinking about those.

So we melt meat. You cook cubes of raw meat in boiling oil, otherwise known as fondue bourgignon. There is also like fondue chinoise, which is cooking the meat in broth, which is like hot pot. My friend's instant reaction to this 12th birthday party meat fondue set up was that I was

booji. And as I couldn't afford hosting a party with a meat fondue now, I can certainly see her point. I think having a cheese fondue would be more expensive because you have to get quite expensive cheese for that, whereas you can get shit meat and then just a litre of sunflower oil. But I've been pondering this, they continue, as I didn't necessarily grow up rich, but more of a 90s to naughties middle class with a food-interested mum. So Helen answered me this. Was I boogey, or was it just the naughties? I don't really associate it necessarily with being boogey so much Kitch at that point, depending on where you are. Yes, exactly. It was already 30 years old since it'd been trendy, wasn't it?

Right. It was like trendy in the 70s in Britain. My parents had a wedding present fondue set that was like mustard-coloured. They got married in 1970. That was like a real classic. But then if you're Swiss, it would have just been a pretty normal food. I think they'd mention if they were Swiss. I think they probably would. And also meat fondue, I don't think, would be the fondue of choice in Switzerland. Because in the 1930s, fondue. was declared Switzerland's national dish because of a campaign by the Swiss cheese union.

They had slogans like, fondue is good and creates a good mood. But the union was quite cloudy. And so it was able to fix the price of milk. It was able to declare which types of cheeses could be produced in Switzerland and which couldn't. It limited production. So the country needed a significant reason to be cheesy so that the industry was protected. And they were like, well, liquid cheese. appra ski, go for it. And so, like, for the rest of the 20th century, fondue was that big in

Switzerland because of union shenanigans in the 30s. But also Switzerland's a country that just relies so heavily on tourism, doesn't it? I know it's a wealthy country, but in terms of, like, people populating its restaurants. It's mostly tourists, isn't it? And they're mostly there, as you say, in the winter. So, I mean, there's a big profit margin on liquefied cheese. And it was a good cold weather food, not just because it warms you up in mountainous regions after being outside, but also because the cheese and the bread can be produced months before, and then you liquefy the cheese, you retoast the bread and set two. So meat fondue then, is that more bougie or less bougie than cheese fondue?

The reason why it originated supposedly was farm workers who were unable to leave the fields to go and have lunch would be able to cook meat in the pot of boiling oil. I guess because all you need is a stick to eat it off and the clean-up is the boiling of the oil like you're not soiling a plate. Is that true? That sounds like a just-sau story. It does sound like made-up shit. But it's oft-repeated.

Also like a pan of boiled oil chucked into a field, that's quite damaging, actually, compared to other things you could finish eating and then throw away. Yeah, but not compared to a pan of liquid cheese. Sure. If you're just surviving on fondue,

then it is, yes, less damaging than that. In terms of having any kind of food-based gastronomic 12th birthday, party, whether that's bougie or not. I would say not because the 12th birthday party, it's a very specific point. It's interesting it's the age of

Bar mitzvah, isn't it? The 12th, 13th border. That's the age at which in so many cultures you become a grown-up. And even now, I feel like for a lot of parents, probably the 11th party is the last party they're going to fund because that's the last one at junior school. You're on your own kid. Got a self-fund.

Better do a kickstarter for your birthday. Certainly by 14, it's like, Here's 50 quid, go to Pizza Hut with your mates, right? So then I feel like for a lot of children, 12th is the last party, the last party party party, where their family have paid for it and invited everyone, rather than leave me alone. So I feel like this party isn't bougie,

because although it sounds expensive because fondue, it is actually substantially cheaper than hiring a venue like you might do for a 9th or 10th birthday party. It's kind of low-key compared to that. So from that perspective, I think it isn't bougie. it's a stepping stone on the way to a more grown-up birthday. I think also, let's be real, kids now have much easier access to sushi in many parts of the world. So what would have been considered very bougie when we were young, or just like inaccessible.

Exotic. I'd say like when we were young, basically impossible to obtain where we were. In our early 20s would have been like still quite bougie now like incredibly ubiquitous. Sainsbury's. Yeah, right. Petrol station. It's like hummus. I don't think bespeaks boogeiness now is a shorthand the way that it did 20 years ago.

No, picnic staple now, isn't it? Whereas, yes, 20 years ago meant I've been to waitrose. Yeah, and it is also cheap. It's a chickpea paste. Yes, yeah, sure. So I think that concept is more like about your fears, isn't it, than the food stuff itself? If you're listening to this and you had a particularly boogie birthday party as a child, if you can beat meat fondue, please let us know what you did, preferably with photo evidence.

Oh, yeah? You want to see pictures of 12-year-olds covered in boiling oil scars from their meat fondue. No, I was thinking more like, did anyone go to the opera in black tie? Ah. Anyway, please send us questions for the next episode of Answer Me This. And also, for Petty Problems are video live stream series about trivial queries. Yes. So if you have something unsurious, mark it as Petty Problems,

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Patreon.com slash answer me this. And your money helps keep this show going for the rest of 2026. Yeah. We also have other things on the internet for you to peruse for free. Ollie, what's been happening in the manverse? I've done an episode of the modern man this month called I Want My Kids Back. It is about child removal. And in it, I meet a mum who had the children removed from their care because of addiction issues and domestic abuse. And it's her story of how she fought to get her children back, yes, but actually more importantly, how mums and foster mums in that situation need more support. And because we're a magazine show, that episode also includes lighter items on voucher codes and pegging.

useful. That's The Modern Man, M-A-W-N, wherever you get your podcasts. Helen. Hi. Well, I've been on a couple of bugles recently, so you can listen to those. The most recent one was with Hari Kondobolu. Sounds like you've been taking a lot of Kekane. You mean you've been on the podcast, The Bugle, twice recently? Yeah, I've been on the podcast, The Bugle, and I've been taking

zero Kekane, as is my custom. It's not your vibe. And the Allusionist is about to return from break. So you can get that at the Illusionist.org and in the pod places. Martin. You may remember from last month that I have a new song because Daddy Really Cares, which is a sort of electro-bangar,

which is kind of gender-positive, I guess. And if you'd like to go to martinorstwick.bancamp.combe and buy that, I will be giving any proceeds I make from that to organisations and charities that support trans youth in Canada and the UK. So please dig deep. And that song is part of an episode of the podcast Material Girls, in which we both appear, talking about the word daddy.

I have to sort of handle the history and Martin just has to make party bangers. But you can hear that now on the Material Girls podcast. Yeah, check at that. And we'll be back in two weeks' time with an answerer us back. Yep.

And we'll be back on the last Thursday of April with Answer Me This 417. Bye!