Anything Better? - Champagne Goggles

Episode Date: October 8, 2026

Bill & Paul are back are back to discuss egregious celebrations and a record breaking high school career. 

What's up, everybody, and welcome back to the Anything Better podcast. You guys know what it is. This is the best damn sports podcast there is. We are going into NFL week number five, Bill. It's already a quarter done. I feel like we just started doing this again. It's a quarter done. I went two and two.

You went two and two. We are hovering right at 500. My Yankees, my Yankees, RIP to the season. But I was just talking to Jake, but you know what? You know what? You can't have three. is behind an ace in the first inning and be an elite team. How about this shit?

You don't drink champagne until you win the World Series. 100%. I was thinking that today. We were a third place team, 11 games out of first place, and somehow made the playoffs, and we're in the dug of with the fucking goggles on. Who's brilliant ski goggles? And we get sweat because it stinks your eyes, Paul.

No, I know. I was sliding mitts so their colored fingernails don't run. Dude, and then we go in, and we don't do shit against you guys. And Mike Francesca calls us out. You're fucking down 9 to 1 in the last game. You hit a home run. You put the stupid hat. What are you doing?

And then it's also like, well, Mike, you know, you also have to, if you're going to say what happened in the baseball, what the fuck of the Yankees doing, drinking champagne? Because they beat a third place team, 11 games out of first place. You won two games in a row, and you get credit for, like, winning a series. The first round of the playoff, dude, this should be no celebrating. I completely agree. It's a cash grab. That's all that is. A third place team, 11 games out, is not a playoff team.

I couldn't agree more, and here's what I'll say. I'll let you celebrate. I was thinking about this in the car today because I was thinking about the Yankees losing again in an early round. And the way they celebrate and then somebody packs the ski goggles and all that shit. How about this? How about this? You win the ALCS to go to the World Series. You celebrate, and you win the World Series to celebrate because at least you almost...

But division, wild card, nothing. You shake hands and you go home. Winning a three-game series last night is not a champagne moment. 100%. Those are like Fisher Price, my kid's first fucking sneakers. Dude, best two out of three, best three out of five. Those are not play up. Best four out of seven.

Yep. Now you're in the playoffs. I agree. It's fucking, they should be shaking up non-alcohol beer. Dude, if I'm a manager, I'm saying, guys, we're playing a fucking three games. It's it. You're going to fucking, you win, you shake hands and you go home. You're fucking acting like a parade's coming the next day because you fucking got out of the playoffs.

I mean, because you got it in the playoffs. It's a joke. Dude, what the devil rays were doing, standing on the fucking. walking field, waving goodbye. Am I just getting cut out or is that, Paul? I hear you. You're frozen on my screen. All right, as long as you guys can hear me.

I think what the devil race did last night and like, you know, being like, you know, miming sweeping you and blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like I don't even, I've been honest with you, Paul, I don't even know what round of the playoffs that was. I don't know what they call that. If the first one's the divisional round. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, the first one's a wild card. The second, what we just... Wild card. Yeah, so we got knocked out of the divisional series. The divisional round, Paul. You used to have to win your division. Yeah. To make the fucking playoffs.

And now they're celebrating because they beat a team that didn't win their division. And they're shaking up champagne. And they're, oh, shit, you know, with their fucking soft men, softball league uniforms, worst fucking uniforms in MLB. I love that you... Whatever that... And I love that you call them the devil race still. They went back to it.

Did they? They went back to it. Yeah, there's all those evil racist fucks down there. They care more about God and the devil than they do other human beings that don't look like them. Oh, I'm going in. I love the sip of coffee after that. No, dude, it's the stupidest. Dude, I want that first, you guys hit a double in the first inning.

First inning, it just starts. You guys hit a double. in the first inning. And the guy on second base is looking at the fucking dug out going, let's fucking go! Let's fucking go! It's like, what are you doing? What are you doing?

Yeah, it's ridiculous. Fucking double. Zero to zero. Zero to zero. What the fuck are you doing? Every fucking thing. Do your little dance when you strike out, you cunt. It's so stupid.

It's so stupid. We are on the. same page, and I don't know if that means we're getting old. Dude, they should hand out a fucking trophy the way they're celebrating. It's true. I was thinking about it today in the car. I'm thinking of my John. I'm thinking of my Yankees getting eliminated, and I'm going,

two days ago they were dumping champagne on each other's heads. What are we doing? I can't remember if they would do it after winning the pennant and going to the World Series. I think they did it. They did, they did. But the only thing I remember was the big deal, was if you were going to win the World Series that they were wheeling the champagne because that was the thing in 86 with the rest of us, dude, they literally wheeled the champagne

into our duck out and had to wheel it back out again. It was fucking horrific. But like it, I don't know. There wasn't 52 fucking rounds. This reminded me when I first started watching hockey dude, to have four rounds to the playoffs. They only had 26 teams. So like the Hartford Whalers or something would be in fourth place and they and they would make it. There was five people in the division. And like one person didn't make it. It was, it was, it was, the Canadians, the Nordiques, the Sabres and the Whalers.

And you played 80 games and four of you were making the playoffs. It was so stupid. It was so stupid. By the way, Hartford Whalers, great name, great logo. I love the thud fucking the hat. That was a good one, dude. Yeah, it was, well, it was great because it was all concentrated. Yeah. The office division was all right there. And then the Patrick, the Patrick was the best because it was seven teams you could just drive to. It was Long Island, the Rangers, Jersey, Pittsburgh, D.C. and Philly.

It's all right there. The only road trip, real road trip and all of that was Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. But other than that, dude, like, you could, like, if you just wanted to, like, hey, I'm going to, like, if you're a Rangers fan, oh, the island is, they just go out to Long Island. Oh, they're playing in fucking, the Meadowlands. Let's go out to Newark, down to Philly. D.C., a little bit of a ride. You could knock off the whole Patrick Division if you lived in New York City. Pittsburgh was really paying in the ass one. Yeah, it was great. That's cool. Um, NFL, NFL news, NFL news. It was, well, I went two and two, Bill went

two and two. So we're right there. We're going into week number five. My New York Giants had the, what do they call it, the James Winston experience. You know, and they kept saying that, I didn't know what it meant. I didn't know if it meant like his emotional, like how he is. Do you know what it is? The James Winston experience is he's going to throw multiple touchdowns and multiple interceptions in the same game. I've never seen a guy look like he should be pulled and benched for throwing horrible interception. And then... Brett Farrb made a career out of that.

No, then he comes out and throws a fucking dime touchdown. And you're going, I don't know what to do with this guy. Brett Farr, I think career had 356 touchdowns and like 350 intercept. He had a lot. Yeah. No, he's the most interceptions in NFL history. Yeah, but everybody, but he wasn't saying crazy shit after the game. It wasn't until he sent the dick pick and then he took all that, all the

welfare money to put up a volleyball court for his kid that they finally, that was not a good one. Oh, that's a bad one. Dude, what is going on with that part of the country? Dude, there was an active sheriff talking about lynching black people. It's fucking unbelievable. I mean, it's just fucking, like, what fucking, what century is it right now? Anyway. Jake the Snake, let's go in for week five.

What are we got? Look at him. He came in with a smile. He came in with a smile. Jake, the snake had his coffee today. He's ready. You can tell. Well, I fired it up because you guys had this baseball talk,

and I just want to add some stuff because on the NL side, there's the same exact stuff as going on with the Padres in particular. They won like two out of three of the last games against the Dodgers to like clinch a playoff spot. And you would have thought they won the World Series. They were like celebrating on our field. They were popping champagne in the locker room. It was ridiculous. And then here they are today.

They're eliminated again because they suck. and their owner is calling our team dinosaurs and stuff is unbelievable. And I feel the same way because the Dodgers are popping. Dodgers won, they beat the Braves to move on the next round too. And they're, I texted my friends the same thing. It's like, why are we celebrating popping champagne? And they completely agreed. It's like, it's ridiculous.

Yeah, but I will say this, too. Couldn't agree more. What the Dodgers are doing with the, they spent like $1.5 million, a billion dollars on two guys. And then you picked up that other guy from Detroit that's like a fucking Cy Young, at eight. I mean, it's just, you're going to win three in a row. It's like, dude, they're going to win 10 in a row. They might. But what's unread about the Dodgers is, I mean, yes, they obviously, the headlines are they buy a lot of these big players, of course, not saying they don't. But they do have some studs they drafted, too. Like, like Pawhaz is the guy who had the two RBIs to make us go to the next round, you know, and Monty. Everybody's got some studs. Everybody's got some talent.

Kansas City fucking Royals had Johnny Damon. Everybody's got it. And we went out and we took him. This is, uh, it's like, I never thought that I would see a team that would dwarf what the fucking Yankees and Red Sox were doing at the turn of the century. But do you really think they're dwarfing it? Because I think they're doing the exact, shoot, I think they're doing the exact same thing. I don't think it's any different. No.

No, dude. It's taking it to a whole other level. level. It's taking it to a whole other level. Well, I mean, maybe because maybe with inflation, it seems like that, because I will say, right, it's the exactly. When the Yankees traded Wells to get Clemens and then the next year they got, they got Wells back and they kept Clemens. And then they got Jose Consenko because so we couldn't have them and they bought out a hotel. I guess it's kind of the same thing. I don't know. I will say the same way I didn't like when the Yankees did it. I didn't like when the Red Sox did it. I didn't like when the Celtics did it.

I don't like it. I don't like what the, I don't hate the Dodgers, but like, I don't get the satisfaction of like, yeah, we bought, you know, we had our talent and we bought all the guys in the fucking league. We bought, we bought your best guy. And now we're like a dynasty. Because if the Dodgers win for me, you have to win three in a row to be a dynasty. So they would be a legitimate dynasty. But it's like, I think their World Series should have like one of those old school checkbooks that the moms would take out at the supermarket. It's all just revenge for 2017 at this point.

Yeah, but I mean, I don't know. I'm just, I'm not saying that they're worse than my Red Sox because we did it too. And I will say, I, that 07 one that we won against the fucking Colorado Rockies was the most forgetful world series ever. Well, back then, though, the AIL championship series was, was the real world series, you know, because it would be a Red Sox Yankees, you know, typically. those two teams were just at the top of the league. Yeah, our roided up free agents versus your roided up free agents. It was great. It was like Vince McMahon.

Anyway, Jay, can I ask you a question now that I've interrupted fucking 50 times? Sorry, right? Is it me or is the NFL running back back finally? I think so. I mean, we definitely have two. We have two incredible. It's actually a great point. Kenneth Walker, the 30, he already has over five.

500 yards in three games. He's on pace to rush over 2000. You got... Bejan Robinson. Yeah. For Atlanta, he's like 80 yards behind him. You got that kid on the bills. James Cook the third.

And then you got that kid on the lions. They're all on pace to rush for like 1,600 to 2,000 yards. Yeah. Dude, how funny is it that they're all the third? In 10 years, it's going to be the fourth. Bijon Robinson the fifth. No, I was watching him Monday night.

By the way, I thought it was Tyler's show. I kept calling him show enough. How the fuck do you say the last name of the New Orleans quarterback? I think it's shock, but it might be show. No, it's... Dude, Lucas was telling me, my son was telling me that when Bijon Robinson's numbers in college, it's like the guy was getting six, seven touchdowns a game. It was like the craziest shit.

That guy is an animal, man. Yeah, they're both him and, what was it, Kenneth Walker, the third. They're averaging like six yards per carry. You know who did that for a whole season? Okay. Spoiler alert. OJ Simpson, the year he did it, when he rushed for over 200 yards in a 14-game season, he averaged six yards per carry for a season.

That's nuts. That's an interesting. stat maybe I don't know to look up to see has anybody done that sense like when uh when uh what's this i can't remember anybody's fucking name the guy from the ravens oh derrick henry now no when derrick henry rushed for 2000 when he was with nashville i bet he had you just have to be i know i know there's 17 games now but i still feel you got to be like high five like five point eight that's crazy to do that in the nfl one of the best years i've seen was Ladagnian Tomlinson with the Chargers that one year he had like 30 touchdowns dude he just like

he hit the line of scrimmage and was gone always it was fun he was fun man yeah that's I love it I love I mean a running back breaking one is I mean I like you know it's been the it's been the error of the wide receiver and passing for a long fucking time it's great like I really enjoyed like Bijon had like a 59 yard touchdown I do nice to collect football cards I would get like excited like he's going to be an all pro and i knew how many years in a row they ran for a thousand and it just looked cool and there would always be that one year they got hurt and it's say 750 and it would like fuck up the streak you know um anyways i'm running my app here what uh so so yes what what what we got i know that lane johnson retired with the eagles

but that doesn't count as an injury but good for him for trying to you know his mental health stuff but what do we have? Anybody out? Yeah, I mean, there's a lot. We can stick with the Eagles since he brought them up. They have a lot of injuries. Sequin pulled his hamstring against the Rams. He's probably going to be out as well as Devonthe Smith, so they're top receivers.

So they're in big trouble. They're two and two, and they're playing a Jacksonville team that's looking really good right now in London. So that's going to be a big game for their season. The biggest question mark is Lamar back to what? Go ahead. Why are they playing in London? Oh, I know, right.

They're going to play. You know what? It might help this country. If people from Jacksonville and Philly, actually, but you're going to go to the most toxic fucking, how about we'll start with Spain. Then we'll work to Morocco. We'll see a whole big world out there, different kinds of people. Exactly.

So Sunday night, it's unclear that Lamar Jackson's going to play. He hurt his ankle against the Titans. So that's the line is acting as if. He's out because the Falcons are currently favored. So that's going to be one to monitor for sure. Some good quarterback news. Jane Daniels for the Washington commanders is back. He fully practiced.

So he's going to play against your Giants on Sunday this weekend, Paul. He'll be back. Okay. The Broncos and Chargers have a ton of injuries. The Broncos are going to probably be without Pat Certan, their best defensive player. And then the Chargers, going to be without like everybody.

But no Ladma Conkie, no Derwin James, and then their two tackles are also out. So they're really banged up. Everybody's going to blame Justin Herbert. Literally. You know, it's tough. It's tough. All right, here's my prediction. He's going to get tired of this shit. He's going to

go to another team. If it keeps going the direction, and he's actually going to have stability and maybe some luck. And you're going to be able to see what he can do, man, because that guy's taking, uh, you. You, you guys know, how I feel about. Justin Herbert was my,

was my, and I'm not even trying to be funny. I really was concerned when I saw him sitting down on the grass at training camp smiling in his girlfriend's eyes. And I just was like, what?

And I was like a week before the regular season. So, you know, she probably, they were probably on a verge of breaking up and he was fucking freaked out, dude. I blame her. Um,

I guess I was going to say, because that's, that's not a good picture for any of, it was a bad book. Eddie's a fat, no pussy getting fucking football fans. Dude, if you see your quarterback doing this to his girlfriend in training camp, it's a rat, dog. Moving her hair out of her eyes.

You're like, dude, you got a game next week. And they're doing it to him. Jake, I want to back up for a second. How fucking hilarious would have been to see Jacksonville fans in London? Y'all got any alligator? They play back-to-back games in London, too. That's hilarious. Dude, that's a, you know, Florida in general, they have a lot of good organizations.

Like the fucking lightning, Tampa, the lightning and the devil race makes no fucking say, well, not with hockey, but the devil race with this, when you got the Dodgers and the Yankees of Red Sox and on these teams, even the fucking Mets. And they're not successful with it, but all the money that they're spending that these fucking guys come in. And Jacksonville for a long time, I mean, they had a couple. bad years, though, but when they had, what's his face there? I can't remember anybody's name. What was named Terry? What was that guy, the Giants coach? He went down there? Tom Hoffler. Terry. Whatever. I'm 58. I had the right.

No, they're a good fucking organization. They have a nice history of running backs, man. They got a good history down there. And those fucking guys have beaten us a lot. Like, that's never an easy win. Yeah, but then there's a flip side to Florida. The Marlins who have 9,000 people coming out, the heat who are fair weather fans, and the dolphins who've stunk forever. I know, but when the Marlins' ownership decides to take

that knot out of their pocket, they fucking wouldn't, you know, they were doing it to. And then they just break it all right, all right, break it up, break it up, everybody get the fuck out of here. It never happens. It never happens. And they built that eyesore of a stadium and they used to have a beautiful one. Jake to Snake.

snake you were busy this week dude a lot of injuries that's that's probably the biggest injury report you've ever given but you know what i didn't realize that uh i was going to stay away from charges broncos anyway but i'm not fucking touching that game yeah it was like a blood bath they lost to seattle and then everybody just got hurt um all right well it is it is it is it's got to be your claw yeah it's year it's year it's year six it's me pick yes it's me my pick i go first andrew can we pull these uh can we pull these lines up up here before you jump in i just want to pull up that record so um for minimum 200 attempts for carrie's uh jim brown has the record 1963 was 6.4 jamal charles tied him in 2010 was 6.4

o j simpson six on the dot bill you got that in 1973 uh notable notable notable rookie season record notable notable one just one to note uh beady feathers his real name was william bie big chief feathers was an American football player. It's fucking great. In 1934. He played for the Polacks. Back then, everything was about who you were. Andrew, look up Derek Henry's high school stats.

I think he has some sort of like insane record. I forgot what the numbers are, but they're like astronomical. We've seen what he's done in the league. But like he has like, dude, Derek Henry in high school must have had fucking 350. yards a game. What was it, Andrew? This is actually pretty ridiculous. He broke a 51-year-old National High School career rushing record.

In 48 games, he carried 1,397 times. This guy must have been had like an IV on the, I mean, it's every play. Rushing yards. Do you imagine the guys in the other fucking, sorry, go ahead. No, no, no, no, you're right.

I was thinking of the same thing. You got some 10th grader. He got some 10th grader who barely made the team. The coach goes, all right, go in there. Fucking Derek Henry runs him over. Yeah, built like me. I bet everybody he played had something. The least three of them have CTE.

He had 12,124 rushing. He had 12,124 rushing. And on, ready? 153 touchdowns. You got guys that look like us going, no, coach, it's all right. I'll stay on. That's fine.

That's good. Dude, I would have been playing flag football against him. I would have all laid that all fucking day. I would let that guy right by me. Go right by me, buddy. That's all you. Dude, somebody has to.

8.7 yards per carry. That means he was getting almost first downs every time. 252 yards per game. Dude, what's crazy is he went from freshman year. Freshman year, they gave him 313 carries. By his senior year, he was almost 4662. One of my favorite jokes, sports. jokes and stand-up. I forget, I don't

if it's Sandler, I forget who did it, but like, he goes, all right, he goes, Will Chamberlain was scored a hundred points. Oh, Sandler. It's Sandler. Yeah, that's a great joke. He scored 100 points in one NBA basketball game. He goes, here's my impression of the other team's coach at halftime. He goes, all right, who's

got Will? Gotta tighten it down a little bit there, buddy. He got 52 at the half. Oh, man. And his team's like, you know, you know, Derek Henry's coach was walking around like he was king's shit, you know. You know what's going to? You know what I mean?

Coach, tell us about your game plan for this week. Well, you know, it's been working for us. We give it to Derek 53 times a game. And, you know, it's not broke. You know, don't fix it. The coach is like, I'm actually gone this week. I'm going to Aruba, but they're all set. They're just going to give it to Derek.

Hey, don't get me wrong. This is a tough team. This is a tough team. This is a tough team. He's like stealing it to people. Dude, somebody's got to have footage. I got to see high school footage at Derek Henry just running kids. I mean, that's fucking great, dude.

You guys 8.7? 30 for 30 on the people that fucking had to try to tackle him that became accountants. Dude, he 8.7. You know how nuts that is? 8.7 yards. 8.7 yards per carry. Dude, how exhausted was the other team's offense? We're back out on the field again?

I didn't even get a trick. He broke another 80 yards. Oh, shit. What's funny is that he still got all the carries. He still got all the carries and the touchdowns. It's not like it opened up the field, you know, when it's like, we got a triple cover. No, what's so impressive about that

and that talked about was the defense knew the whole time. Everyone knew. Hey, the quarterback for Derek. Derek Henry's team set the record for most handoffs in a high school career. What are your high school stats? Oh, I was 4'12 for 13 yards. But I handed the ball off 752 times. We've got to get to the games, guys, because I got something here right after.

All right, Paul, you're picking first, right? Let's go, Polly. I am picking first. And I was going to go, Cal, I'm going to, oh, they moved it. They moved it, those motherfuckers. It was six and a half an hour ago. That was yesterday. Those were yesterday's sense.

So this was from, as of life. I had coffee with McCulley 20 minutes, a half hour ago. What movie? I just went out to get coffee. Half an hour ago. That's heat. Oh, man, I was going to take the Jaguars. I was going to take the Jaguars.

that 0.5 is just, it kills me right now. Oh, my God. That just threw a wrench in my fucking week. I mean, that's huge, dude. It was 6.5. Seven's most likely a push. That 0.5, that's fucking huge. But the Eagles got so many injuries,

according to the great Jake to Snake. Fuck it. I'm going to take the Jaguars minus 7.5 to beat him in London, dude. Come on. You lost all those people. Seekwans out. They lost their offensive linemen. The Jags are flying.

You lost all those people. People, people who need people. All right, an eight and a half spread, eight and a half points on a fucking Thursday game. You got Baker Mayfield. He throws it around the yard. Oh, sorry, no Baker. That's why.

Who's in there for them? They have this rookie Jay-Ly-Ly. I like it even better. I like it even. I did this last week. It made no sense that the Patriots were going to cover this spread against the bills. they won the game. The two games they won last week.

The fucking Raiders were only getting four and a half at home. They almost won the goddamn game. Yeah, I remember that. By the way, Patrick Mahomes with a fucking beast of a running back, man, that's scary. I'll take the Buccaneers eight and a half. Laying, Paul. No, getting, getting, sorry. My bet.

All right, that'll be our first head-to-head. I'm going to take the Cowboys for a blowout. Oh, Paulie, maybe we do a little fucking virtual cigar. or something. Oh. I haven't been smoking, though. I've been off for. I'm scared, though.

I got two big favorites now that I've got a cover. So, uh, oof, this could be a... Go to the other way, go to the other way. No, no, we're good. We'll be all right.

I got a good feeling. Now, what the fuck? Hang on a second. I thought it didn't start till 10.15. Oh, okay, cool. A 10. All right, cool.

I'm there. All right. Bye-bye. Sorry, guys. Oh, good. Oh, good. Okay, cool. Text.

All right, great. Bye-bye. You're up, Bill. Oh, I'm up. I've got to get this done by 10. Oh, Raiders, Patriots. And they're Raiders. Coming into fucking Foxborough, Sullivan Stadium.

This is where it happened, Paul. The fucking tuckhole coming back, those fucking whining cunks. If you're not cheating, you're not trying. They're all over NFL films talking about that they're cheating. on, Matt. They need a whole documentary. We're a dirty team. What are you going to do about it?

Then all of a sudden, there's some stupid rule. They're like, you guys cheated. I'm going to take the paths, even though they probably won't cover. I'm going to join you, Bill. Yeah, I like that. I don't love the half-point. I don't know why. Last week, we are offensive line.

They figured some shit out, and Drake, maybe we'll throw some more fucking touchdowns. Who knows? What a catch last week, Paul. Reaching out. Arm held. I mean, hey, I know it was no fucking, what's his face? But it was nice. I can't remember.

The guy from the Giants. No, that catch, that Drake May to that kid catch was unbelievable, man. Great, great fucking thing. And Drake May, look at that, everybody. Drake May's done. He doesn't know what he's doing anymore. What are they doing? And then he comes and has a great game, you fucking dopes.

All watchers. It's all they do. Fantasy. It's the age of fantasy. All right. All right, here we go. Dude, I'm going to tell you. what. I'm going to tell you what.

I'm going to tell you what. The two best teams in the NFL right now are the Chiefsman 49ers. The 49ers are dogs on the road to the Seattle Seahawks. And I'm taking the San Francisco 49ers to be disrespected like that saying

not, not so fast. I don't care about your fake noise. I don't care about your fucking, I don't care about Sam Donald. We're going to go in there. Brock Purdy is going to go in there and win that game. I love Care about your steroids. Paul, I'm joining that too.

Your small and large beer are the same size. All right, Paul, guess what? I think the Lions are due. I don't think they're playing good football. I don't think they're this bad. The Cardinals have been surprising. But I think the surprise is over because they're favored by five and a half at home. I don't know.

Lions got a good running back. Third in the league. Can't remember his name. You've got one of those young people names. that I can't fucking remember. Elypsies McGarritt or something. He's fucking killing it. He's going to eat up some clock.

I like it. Five and a half lines. I'll tell you, Paul, right now. I'm going to say it right now. I'm either 2 in 1, 0 and 3 or 3 and 0. I'm telling you right now, I'm either 4 and 0 or 0 in 4. But you know what? I mean, I am because this one, listen, if I wasn't 500,

I wouldn't be so reckless. I am going to do something. I can't believe I got, like in Top Gunn. I got to do something. I can't. I'm sending you two characters. Top Gun. I'm going to take the New York Jets with their season and coach on the line minus one and a half at home against the Browns.

If the Jets lose this game, the season's completely over for them and their coach will be fired in three weeks. There you go. I'm taking – I can't believe what I'm doing. I'm doing it. Paul, I got to tell you know, there's a couple interesting games. That Sunday night football game. Ravens notoriously have a great fucking day. defense and the falcons you know i think are pretty much that uh bejohn guys it's three and a half

i fucking hate that and then like the bills dude this is a must win for the bills the bills the bills and the rams this is this is one of those who are we are we are we contenders or are we contenders so i think they both they both need that one yeah i i'm i think i'm just rooting for the bills maybe that's why i think they'll win i don't think neither team need that game this week five they're have a decent record. Rams are two and two, though. No, dude. No, no, no, no, no.

The bill's got to do something this year. They got rid of their fucking coach. It's like Josh Allen is playing his best football. Their fucking defense stinks. Sliting up all kinds of fucking runs, Paul, runs. Points. Letting all kinds of points. I'm going to stay away from that.

I'm going to go. Oh, Jesus, Paul. What am I doing here? Dude, what the fucks? Is Kirk Cousins still? playing? Why is he only getting one and a half points in... Kirk Cousins is on the Raiders. That's why he's getting...

Who the fuck? No, no. Kyler's on the Vikings. Oh, that's right. Kyler Murray. Yeah. You just... Paul, I can't see... Bill, you just can't lay off the NFC South. It's just something you got.

I'm kind of liking it now, and I got a respect for it. I'll tell you the game I'm looking at it is the Bengals and the Dolphins. Oh, that's... I hate that six and a half, but it's... Wait, Andrew, that's wrong. That six and a half has to be wrong. Okay, let me double check. I'm taking, you know what, Paul?

Once the week I've got to do something that makes no sense. I'm taking the dolphin. No, six and a half. Cincinnati. I'm taking the dolphins at home. They're unsure if Jamar Chase is going to play. Listen to me. I'm taking the dolphins at home.

Wow. Exactly. I'll probably go one in three. I'll probably go one in three and I'll win that fucking game, Paul. Because it may. So, so. So, sorry, dolphins are, it's, yeah, dolphins are getting six and a half. Sorry, you're right.

Yeah, I assumed it. I, I, I assume. My bad. The dolphins getting six and a half, they got nobody. The dolphins. Dude, I love these new coaches. Have you seen the coach of the Bills? He's wearing like, it looks like a fucking, uh, under armor shirt with the Bills logo and a

chain outside of it. It's, like, they look like they pulled him out of the stands. Not that he doesn't know what he's doing, but like, how do we go from fucking Tom Landry with the fedora looking like some dirty private eye that's going to put a fucking lay a pistol at the crime scene to this Hank Schrams, Turtleneck and Sweater

Monday night special. You're going to have to do the Monday night special yourself because I got a Zoom call I got to do. I got it. We'll come up with a good one and I'll text you what it is. All right, thanks Bill. I'm glad I don't have to pick that game.

All right, buddy. All right, buddy. All right, buddy. Later, guys. God bless all of you. Thanks, all right. All right, so here we go. We got our picks in.

Bill has the Bill has the buccaneers Dolphins Pats, Lions I have the Cowboys, Jags, Jets and 49ers Jake and Andrew will fill those in after we'll find out who they took

next week right now we have the Monday night special everybody and this is a very intriguing football game. This is my Super Bowl pick, the Buffalo Bills for the AFC they're my Super Bowl pick this year Josh Allen and them Bill said the defense isn't great.

I haven't watched so much. I've seen a lot of highlights. They look good. They are plus three against the Los Angeles Rams. It is in Sofi. It is in California. And a half. What is it?

54 and a half is the over and under. So I take the amount of The bills put up a ton of points and the Rams can too. I think touching the under over is crazy in that game because that could be. Fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah, I was going to suggest an over, but I didn't realize it was so high, but I guess that makes sense.

It does, but it's, yeah, I think. I don't know. Well, I think Bill, based on what Bill was saying, and I agree with him, I think the bills and Josh Allen, with getting points, I like Buffalo with the three points in this game. The thing about Josh Allen is they could, they could score. They could score. So I like them getting points on the road.

I think one thing we should do is, I think we should do Josh Allen running one, because I think he's going to run. I was going to say the same thing. He's going to run one. He's going to run one for sure. So I think, yeah, I think it's got to be a non-passing, just a Josh Allen, like running one in.

And then what do you guys want? We can, we'll go with you two for the third leg, if you want. I say stay away from the underover, though, my opinion. I would just add a throwing touchdown. You want to add somebody on the Rams maybe? Just spice it up or no? No, I think we should go. Let's go the whole-way bills.

Yeah, because if they end up winning, then I like that. Maybe James Cook over yards or something. Because, you know, Alan takes a lot of his touchdowns, but he's amazing player. So that would be maybe a suggestion I'd throw in. But you could do Josh Allen throwing, too. I mean, why not? I was going to say, Alan throwing.

You could even do Alan throwing, too, if you really wanted to juice that. But, yeah, I mean, I just think throwing one. I think the rushing is that could go either way. I mean, he could attempt at the three, get stuffed, and then throw one or kick a field goal. I say why, this is my opinion. I say why make it hard for our listeners and give it more?

Why don't we just make it one throwing, one rushing, and they fucking get the points? And we win our first Monday night special. Let's get a win under our belt. Why make it more difficult? Great point. Let's do it. Because I think, like, you know, I think he'll do both of those.

Yeah. All right, there you have it. Our Monday night special is the Buffalo Bills getting three points at SoFi Monday night. Josh Allen to rush for a touchdown. Josh Allen to throw for a touchdown. I'm going to tell you guys, I literally truly believe that I can go, my picks can go literally 0 and 4 or 4 and 0. I don't think there's going to be an in between with me because I took a little too many chances.

too many chances with the you know i don't know the london game is scary i hate that point five um but we will see uh i am eight and eight bill is uh two under and uh what do we hear let's see i'm dead last i know that but i went two and two at least bill seven and nine he's five under your uh bills bill's bill or three and one two and two Bill's seven and nine. Oh, yeah, but $200, yeah, it's $200. Yeah, that's right, $200. All right, well, guys, oh, by the way,

I should have said this at the beginning of the show. Janesville, Wisconsin, I will be at the Comedy Cabin tomorrow night in Janesville, Wisconsin for one show, Saturday night in Janesville, Wisconsin for two shows at the Comedy Cabin. And Sunday, speaking of Josh Allen, speaking of the Buffalo Bills, will be at the helium in Buffalo this Sunday. And guess what, guys, you don't have to worry about missing the game because they play on Monday. So you could come and see your boy perform at the Helium Comedy Club in Buffalo on Sunday. And then you could go watch your bills play and hopefully beat the Rams on Monday. So come out to those shows. We added your boy, I will be November 6th,

the New York Comedy Festival at the New Stand West, Philadelphia Helium, New Year's Eve, January 7th, Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas. We're going to Florida in March, and I'm going to Minnesota in February. Go to Paul Verzi.com for all of those dates. Check out Bill's website for all of Bill's dates. Bill has some tour dates coming up, so you could go check that out.

And yeah, man, that's pretty much it. You know, my Knicks start in 13 days or 12 days, and the Yankees are eliminated. So we got to hope the Giants, we got to hope the Giants beat the commanders. By the way, I made this prediction on the show, and I'm sticking with it. J.J. McCarthy will start for the Giants by week seven. I have a feeling if James does not play a good, solid game, and if he throws one or two picks against Washington this week, I think you're going to start. I'm hearing rumors J.J. McCarthy may have a package, a couple of package plays.

this week. Wow. That's a big prediction. I like it. I wish you guys had Shador so bad. But JJ's going to be great too. I just feel like I watched, and again, this is not disrespecting James Winston, but like I said, the James Winston experience is multiple touchdowns or touchdown, but multiple interceptions, and it's up and it's down.

But he's just not mobile. Like that's the thing I'm looking at. Like, he doesn't seem mobile. see him when he's rushing out of the pocket he you know he doesn't run fast he gets caught they catch him from behind and i think that harbaugh is going to have to say at one point we got this kid he's 23 years old and he's got legs and he's mobile and he can throw a little bit let's just see and and but listen if the giants keep winning without that then they're going to probably stick with what they got i don't know and we talked about this last week but and it's even more

true this week like the division is very up for grabs very up very up for grabs. I mean, Jane Daniels is hurt. He's just, he's just now coming back. The Eagles are in free fall and then Dallas is two and two. So, I mean, why not the Giants? Why are you going to punt on the season? Like, go, go try and make the playoffs. And maybe Dark comes back to nose, but like, you have the chance to make playoffs, I think you should always go for it. I think, too, the cool thing is somebody said this the other day, and it's true. The power of a good coach, the Giants would not be three and one if it was Brian Dayball. I hate to say that. I just think that like the way Harbaugh coaches, the way they believe, the way they respect his presence, like the way they just bear down in those moments.

And again, I think he's going to say to James, dude, I got to give this kid a look sooner than later. But I just think about this, you lose your franchise quarterback. You lose your number one pass rusher. Okay, now we just lost our punt returner, okay, at the beginning of last game. All these things happen. and the Giants lead the division and they're just, their leader is the guy, man. It's a good coach in the NFL is such a fucking big difference.

And I think his, I think his reputation is definitely helping them, man. He changed the culture there. Yeah, 100%. People are saying, I guess Baltimore fans are kind of souring and I'm sowering on him at the end, but like, I don't get why. He's very consistent in this.

I think the owner was tired. Listen, he was there for 18 years. Anytime a personality. is somewhere for 18 years. It happens with baseball managers, too. I just think, like, even when they, same thing happened with Tomlin. Tomlin and the Steelers.

You know, Tomlin's never had a losing season, but after 20 seasons or 19 seasons, it's just like, you know what, man, we had our run. I was rooting for them. A lot of those playoff series, especially who they were in the Pats were sucking. I was just like, all right, let's see this happen. I'd like to see Tomlin, you know.

But it's same here. It's so weird that put the blame on Tomlin's shoulders. is when you look at some of the quarterbacks he had once Big Ben retired. It was like, can he pick it and Mason Rudolph and these guys who are not NFL quarterbacks? And he still made the playoffs. But that's the, and that's like the way said the best of the problem with it is that he was the same with a really good quarterback or not so good quarterback.

So it's like the recipe, like, and I'm not blaming him, but like, yeah, I don't know. It's, uh, by virtue of that, you can argue both ways. Like, yeah, he should have made it. Like, well, he did better than he should have with this guy. It's like, I didn't do as good as he should have. that guy so it's kind of like yeah but it is it is funny and something to be said about those guys those guys that have think about what i'm going to say here because this is pretty wild those guys that have winning seasons all the time and they are always nine and eight or like

hovering around nine wins all the time if you notice they only usually have one super bowl early in their career and then they're coaching to not have a losing season but there's so many early exits in the playoffs it's very weird it's almost like they're coaching so much to have a decent season and get in the playoffs but then when they finally get to the playoffs like Mike tomlin's got eliminated what like 11 times early you know and and it happened to uh was it Mike McCarthy too I don't know there's something to be said about just like I guess you got a coach to win like all the time but it's almost like they were so relieved to get to the playoffs and it was such a fight and sometimes they needed help and then they get there

and then they just get knocked out. So I don't know what that is, but I've noticed that with guys that win a lot, is like they don't have multiple, you know, Super Bowls where, like, the Giants that year, Coughlin, like nine and seven barely snuck in and won. Do you know what I mean? I think there's also, like, a lot of ways to make the playoffs, you know,

like maybe the division's bad one year. Maybe you get lucky with a schedule, you know, maybe an injury breaks your way. Maybe your conference is kind of weak. And then I think the playoffs kind of, you know, obviously it was going to expose, who the pretenders and contenders are. Like when the Chargers made the playoffs last two years,

it's like they made it, but their O-line's terrible, so you can't win that way. So it's like similar with Steelers, like they're in the playoffs, but their quarterback is Kenny Pickett. So it's like you're not going to win a shootout against Patrick Mahomes with that, you know, or Josh Allen or whoever.

So I think eventually like, you know, eventually all that stuff comes to life. But you know what it is? It's like, yeah, it's like what you're saying, I agree. It's like your team's weakness will get exposed when you're playing the best teams in the most pressure situations,

it's just going to happen that way. Like if you have a weak-o line, but you sneak in with like a wild card, and then you play a monster D-line. It's just not going to, you're just not going to get there. So those guys could have been coaching with weaknesses, but they're such a good coach that they get in.

But then, yeah, that's a good, that's actually a really good point. Maybe even the answer, Jake. That's good shit. But, all right, guys. Jake, do you know you want to fill in here so the listeners can see your picks? What you say?

You want me to say my... You know your other two picks? Well, I'm very tempted by the Jaguars, but I hate that half of point, similar with the Patriots. Let me zoom in here. My vision's not so good. You know what's interesting is that the Broncos are still such a short favorite with all these injuries to the Chargers. So they must not love the Broncos either, is what that tells me. I know the Texans number is wrong there, but I'm still going to take the Texans at minus 7.

a half. Oh. They're 0 and 4. I love that. I love that. Yeah, I fucked up. I should have taken that. I think the reason to take them here is because their own four, and they really shouldn't

be. They've just had a really tough schedule to start the year, although they've won some games, or sorry, they lost some games they should have won. And Tennessee is really bad. And so I think you're going to get a desperate Houston team. And if they go on five, I mean, they're, that's really concerned and concerning the amount of talent on their team. I just don't see it.

I'll take Houston here as one of my picks. Oh, wait a minute. The Texans are getting or giving, Andrew? They're minus seven and a half. Yeah, Texas are my own. Oh, okay. I was going to take them if it was the other way. Yeah, other than the hammer of the year.

But let's see. What else we got here? It's a really tough week to pick games is the truth. I'll try and go quick. I'm going to join Paul on the track. I was looking at this game. What do you think of the Colts right now, Jake? I don't have a lot of thoughts.

I just think, you know, Daniel Jones off the Achilles is kind of, you know, I think it's a lot to ask of him. And I think they're really struggling to move the ball through the air. Jonathan Taylor, another great running back we could have mentioned earlier, is looking great. So, but it seems like their defense has really struggled to get stops. And I don't know what to make of the Steelers or the Colts, to be honest. They're like very weak to week. So I just, I'm staying away. this might take there um do you have any thoughts there

Andrew is that again I'm gonna go I'm gonna go stealers just for half of those reasons and then I'm gonna go Packers and what's the what's what's what's your reasoning for the Packers just curious um I don't know by the way yeah no Caleb that's what I'm saying so it's just like I don't know I just feel like they're at home I just yeah it's like it's almost like a pick it feels like a coin toss we're going off of looking at four weeks here. So I just, what's fascinating is that with even without Caleb, the, the bears are still favored.

The sports folks are telling you they really don't think this community big team is any good at that point is what's scary. It's all. But I think it's a smart pick. Paul, I'm joining you with the Jaguars. Fuck it. Yeah, I think the Eagles are in trouble. I just think the Eagles are in trouble.

I, I see, you know, you got no Sequin, you lose an offensive lineman. and yeah they just seem a little up and down the game against the bears showed me a lot like that you know that they're just and look man again like this isn't hating on philly really it's like they they've been a good team for years they you know what i mean they've been a good team for years jalen hurts definitely gets more shit than he should and but it just seems like it just seems like you're kind of seeing now i always say that around week four week five you could kind of see week four, week five, you could kind of see your team's issues. And then when you add injuries to that and people leaving on top of that, I think it's just a, I think, and you said Smith is not playing either, right? So it's like you got no Barclay, you got no Smith. You lose an offensive lineman like middle of the week. It just seems like the Jaguars are flying right now.

And they're going to London. They're probably going to be psyched up for that game. Listen, I do hate the half a point because that's a thing that Eagles can do a backdoor. like a backdoor cover at the very end, which would suck. I loved it at six and a half, but I also can see this game being, I can see that the Jags went in by, you know, 12, 15 point. You know what I mean?

It's just one of those. Yeah, it feels that way. And they trade, I forgot, we forgot to mention, too, they traded their center to Baltimore. So they've actually lost two old linemen now on that thing with Lane Johnson retiring. So, I mean, it just seems like it's falling apart for whatever reason.

They're like you mentioned, nail on the head. They've been a great team for a long time. So it's more of a surprise than anything else. Like I think most people would have penciled them in for the division before the season started. But it seems like things are falling apart. Did you watch that game against the Rams? Because I was kind of on them pretty heavy.

So I was watching it. And the Eagles had no business losing that game. I mean, to be truthful, they're up 20, 10 and half time. And they just didn't score the rest of the game. That was a backdoor cover that I got really lucky with. I was like, I looked at that. It was like 20 to 10, like you said. And I'm going, and I'm like, I was like looking at,

like 0 and 4. And then all of a sudden I get the backdoor, I got two backdoor covers or whatever and the Rams just poured it on. I don't know if that means the Rams are really good or if that means the Rams figured something out that the Eagles were doing and the Eagles aren't that good. So look, I think you're going to learn a lot too this week. I think with the Eagles, really Eagles have their backs against the wall big. So you're going to find out like what they could do with these missing pieces. So it's an interesting. I love NFL weeks. that are like so interesting where things really can like, depending on what happens, something can change.

Like, and a perfect example that was the Giants this week. You know, it was like James has to play with McCarthy, you know, on his back, on the sidelines. And if he has a really horrible game, he knows the talks are going to come. And, you know, so it was like a really interesting thing. And I think that's almost like the same thing this week in Washington. I think with what's going on with the Eagles and the Jags, I think you have that too. Like you're really going to see what the Eagles,

what the Eagles season is going to be after this game, I think. And you look at the Jags quietly. They're kind of running away with the division with Houston's own four start. The Jaggs will be good teams. They beat Cincinnati. And their defense looks much improved. I mean, they're likely going to be a playoff team that I don't think a lot of teams are going to want to see.

No, no. I think that the Texans are going to be gone. And I think that the Jags are going to be the new. I think it's going to be the bills. I think if I had to pick three AFC teams, I think it's going to be the Bills, chiefs, and Jags. And then I think in the NFC, I think you have the 49ers. I think you've still got to be respectful to Seattle, right? Because they're good and they got a good defense.

And then the other one is kind of maybe up in the air. You know what I mean? Like I don't see really anybody in my division. I don't know. but yeah it's going to be interesting. Packers, maybe Cowboys, you know, maybe imagine McCarthy comes into the Giants and fucking when the Giants all of a sudden

are sitting at like seven and three. Seriously, like that's actually a possibility that the Giants are sitting seven and three. They're three and one right now. You just never know. I didn't realize they're three and one and you're totally right. Obviously they are three in one.

And it's like that's definitely a team, you know, like we're talking about like, why not go for it? Like you're ahead in the division through the first month. Like you can do this. And then, dude, yeah, yeah, like, I'm sorry, I mean to cut you off. I'm just thinking, like, as you're saying that, I'm going, like, if the Giants beat the commanders this week, they're four and one.

Like, that's, like, with their, like, if the Giants could be four and one with all these injuries, like, in two days, three days, it's nuts. Yeah, I mean, I'm not, I'm usually the Fade Dallas person, but, I mean, their offense is looking really good this year for whatever reason. So, I mean, their defense is still getting shredded, but I think that's the team to kind of look out for in that division. And then I think it's becoming a one-team race in the NFC North with Chicago. Once they get Caleb back, I think it's going to be very, very hard to top them with Green Bay looking like how they're looking. I know the Vikings are 4 and O, but that's been kind of little smoke and mirrors. You know, we'll see what happens when their schedule gets a little tougher. And then, oh, the Lions, I mean, I don't know what's going on there.

They have so much talent. And then you were texting us, Paul, fourth and 20. What are we doing? Yeah. Well, listen. Listen, that's the Dan Campbell. I've said it before, man. Like, Dan Campbell has doubled down on these fourth down things saying that's what we do.

That's who we are. And it's like, dude, they're especially now where kickers can kick 65 yarders back in the day when it, when, when, when, when, kicking a 45-yarder was a lot. And now these guys are kicking 60-yard. That one kid kicked a 60-yarder, and the thing looked like it had another 10 yards it could have gone. It's like you have this asset. You have these legs now in the NFL that could kick these deep field goals,

and this guy continues to go for fourth and long. Like it's a Madden game, dude. And I got to tell you, it bit him in the playoffs. I think it took them away from a Super Bowl appearance. And this whole idea of, well, that's who we've been. the whole year. Well, you know what? You haven't fucking gone to the big one yet. So why don't you change that a little bit? Yeah, it drives me nuts. I've been saying it forever, but you got to take points. You know what's funny? I've said years ago, I go, how many times do you have to hear

Chris Collinsworth say? Man, they would have actually kicked that field goal in the third quarter. We'd be in a different, and then Collinsworth was actually the one to say, hey, man, that fourth and 20 if you were to just kicked. It's like, guys, it's, it's half a touchdown. It's half a touchdown. And it's right there and you have the leg for it. Go get it. I understand if it's something that doesn't make sense. What's that? No, I'm sorry. I'm just to say like, and imagine being all the other members of the team, the personnel down to like the fucking locker room guy, just being like, like, it's, it's so frustrating. You get like one of those a year. You get one of those a year. And if it works, you go, I'm walking away.

Yes. You don't make it your thing. That whole, it's our thing. Well, yeah, it's our thing. You could just say anything's your thing? Yeah, he's like, we've been doing that all year. And it's like, yeah, but now you're in the NFC championship game and you could still keep it a three score game.

Instead, you left it a two score game and they came out all hyped up because they got to stop on fourth down. And then now all of a sudden they got a touchdown and it's a seven point game. And that's exactly what happened with the 49ers to them in the NFC. championship game. So this whole idea of that's who we are and that's what we did all year. It's not all year. It's the NFC championship game. And so I think he was a little short-sighted. And to see him doing it again now, years later, he still just doesn't want to take points on fourth down for whatever reason. And I think it's really costing a I think it's costing a Lions. And,

you know, I agree with you too, Jake. I think that if Caleb, that's why I didn't say them yet, I wasn't even thinking of them because he's out. But yeah, if Caleb Williams comes back strong, the bears are definitely that other team. I think that other team in the NFC. Because, I mean, they won games with, what's his name? That's the other reason why, and again, I'm not trying to pile on the Eagles here. But another reason why I would be worried about the Eagles is that Case Keenham looked like fucking Joe Montana against him. You know, so.

And they benched him this week because he's the third straight. So their second string quarterback got healthy and they just, you know, they're not. going to play again anymore. Yeah. I want to, yeah. And then just to add to the Lions thing, like, maybe it's isn't the best example, and I hate praising this team, but like the Raiders kicked two field goals on the fourth quarter against Mahomes.

They took the lead. I think you'd rather lose on Mahomes throwing a 60-yard touchdown, which he did on the next play. 100%. You know, them being up to scores because you didn't kick the field goal and they just run out the clock. You know, I'd rather lose that way than, you know, the alternative. Yeah.

Make the other quarterback. have to have a phenomenal pass or a phenomenal play to lose. Not that you didn't use the clock and you didn't use points right and you didn't use your field goal kicker properly. And that's why you don't have enough time and you don't have a chance. Notice how every team that takes the field goal, Bill Parcells does do it all the time. He said when you have a zero on the board, take the field goal, always get the field goal, always get points on the board.

But notice how every team that does take field goals, they're in it in the end. Even if it's a four point game, there's always a one possession game when you take the field goals and these these fucking idiots who were like it really is this dumb meathead mentality of football going like go we're going and the crowd cheers when the offense comes back because it's the cool thing to do and it's like it's just not it just doesn't make sense especially early in the game man take points take points i saw what there was a it was a was it a giant i saw a game where it was like yeah it was like 14 nothing but then field goal 14 3 and then guess what field goal 14 6 now it's an 8 point game so you get a touchdown at a two point conversion you're there you just take it you don't look at

it like you're down two touchdowns so we got to keep getting first downs if you can get points early in the game you get points early in the game i've screamed it a million times and it's never going to change it actually makes me want to defend the stat the stat guys a little bit with if you remember obviously like stats have obviously always been a part of sports but like in like 2000s baseball and even pre-billy being you know he gets a lot of credit but like everything just became so stats driven as opposed to X's and O's guys, right? And then I just got so sick of that

because then it really just became like a bunch of nerds talking about, well, this, this, it's just like all right, man, you're taking the fun out of it here. Like, I don't need to see the matrix with everything in my world and every world I'm into. And now, when you got a guy like this, it's just like, hey man, you might want to check the books on this. Anyways, I think you're about to

wrap up, Paul, sorry. No, no, you're, you're 100% right. And the last thing I'll say before we get out of here is, and I've said it a million in time so I don't want to sound like a broken record but the one thing analytics cannot figure out is momentum and crowd momentum and and and and the loudness of a crowd and the moments the the the only thing that that algorithm can do is the math of the thing like the math of the the actual math of it right but what they can't figure out is when 80,000 people are screaming and and if if god for if god willing or

God forbid, however, which way you look at it, depending on who your team is, if you get a stop at home on fourth down, the crowd goes, when a defense gets a stop on fourth down at home, the crowd goes nuts and the offense comes out hyped up. Analytics cannot measure that. Analytics cannot measure like a momentum like that, feelings like that. All it could do is go, hey, if you go for it on this. So I think that, yes, sometimes it works, but sometimes you get a field. Like, analytics would say, how about this? Let's say you're a manager of a baseball team. Analytics will say, hey, dude, you got a lefty in this situation just gets better numbers. But if the manager is like, yo, his confidence is shot right now. Analytics doesn't know that.

Yeah, his girlfriend, blue, his best friend last night, analytics doesn't know that. I'm not saying, I mean, I know that's a, I know that's a dramatic thing to say. But I'm just saying, like, if the manager is going, yeah, but my right, he's on fire right now. my righty's on fire right now and like so i just look at it like i think analytics gets in the way sometimes of like things like that so that's all i'll say real quick with that it's like they call it a turnover on downs because it's like the equivalent of getting turnover you know you're getting an interception or a fumble or whatever in the you know i've been in those crowds when that happens it's like you feel excited you're you're fired up as a fan and then the offense is fired up

you saw with the rams eagles eagles had chance to you know kick a field goal go up two scores and they went for it on the two-yard line, which isn't that crazy of a move, but when they didn't get it, you know, Stafford let a 98-yard drive for a touchdown. The game could really change. Yeah. And let me, analytics doesn't know that the running back's foot is hurting, right? Like, like, analytics will say, hey, if you run the ball here or if you go in here, like, this is, this is a play you would do that. They don't know if the guy has a, the guy's not feeling great. They don't know if there's something going on with an injury or something like that. So I don't know how accurate.

I'll be honest with you. I really don't know how accurate that is when all factors in that situation are not taken into account. And you know what I mean? So I just look at it like that. Like if you have, let's just say this, if you have one wide receiver that's out with the flu, okay? Your number one wide receiver is out with the flu. The second guy they put in, he's banged up too, but he's able to go. analytics doesn't know that he's banged up too.

So I just, I think that the coach needs to really have a pulse on the team and really make decisions based on real life situations instead of always the math. I'm not saying the math is always wrong, but I just think there's, what are they called, extenuated circumstances? I think there's circumstances that the analytics doesn't read. And I think momentum, I think health, I think all kinds of stuff like that goes into it. But I'm a firm believer in taking the three points anytime you can. if you have the leg to do it, just to make sure that you're hovering around that game to the end where maybe you could steal it. And I'll say it forever.

All right, guys, this has been episode, week number five of anything better. You have our picks. You have the Monday night special. Oh, that Buccaneers Cowboys game is tonight. So I got me and Bill are going head-to-head tonight. I got to have a blowout. Oh, boy, eight and a half points. I'm already behind the eight ball.

Come and see me in Janesville, Wisconsin at the Comedy Cabin this week and Friday, Saturday, and Buffalo Sunday, and we will see you guys next week.