Anything Better? - Fran Tarkenton's Wife - Week 3 NFL Picks

Episode Date: September 24, 2026

Bill and Paul talk about devastating injuries and football wives of yesteryear.  Bill went 0-4 and Paul went 1-3.

What's up, everybody, and welcome back to the Anything Better podcast show with your host, me, Paul Verzi over here, and Bill Burr over there. You know we got the Greek freak, the Beverly Hills kid, Andrew Thimless, behind the glass. And we have our injury report, Jake De Snake, from an undisclosed place. He's banging two cocktail waitresses at a time. What am I supposed to do, Mike? The last one drove a Mercedes 450SL into the front of his house. Look, guys, you know what it is. This is the best sports talk show there is, especially for football.

I'm just going to start with this, Bill. Let me just, if I could have the floor for a second. Dude, Jackson Dart out for the regular season is as bad as, it's as bad as I felt as a fan. Like, it was just sadness in my house. It wasn't even like devastation. It was just, my son just was like, what? Like you go from week one looking incredible against the Cowboys. I actually liked their drive against the Rams.

And then seeing the kid laying there holding his knee. And then he comes out. This is what I didn't like, though, Bill. He comes out. And the GM made a horrible mistake by saying to the reporter, he's going to be all right. He comes out on his own. He walks out on his own.

He refuses the cart. He comes out with the, you know me. He comes out with the diamond chain. He's talking. I'm like, all right, it's going to be all right. And then worse than expected. for the year. Now we're looking at all these people. I think

they're going to bring in, from what I heard today, they're bringing the Giants, going to bring in Jimmy G. To work out, Garoppolo, because he's been sitting on a couch somewhere. But dude, as bad as it gets, thoughts with Jackson Dart and the Giants, it really sucks. But you know what? I don't like these fans, Bill, going,

and listen, the season could be over. But, like, our next five games, I've been like, that's fucking it. I don't like that fan. You know? Well, Paul, then I would say you've got to move on in New York. because I live there for like fucking 10 years and like Eli was beating Tom Brady in the Pats and that was not enough for them.

They were like, well, I never seen a guy walking around with two giant Super Bowl rings getting those bound of shit he does. It's an East Coast thing, Paul. It happens up in Boston too. They just go like negative. I have a couple of questions, Paul. First of all, you can't get mad at your GM

for saying what he said. He went a little Harvey Kytel in reservoir dogs. You're going to be okay. Say the goddamn fucking words. He just, he didn't, he didn't want it. He didn't want it to happen. And then I have another question, and I got to ask an Italian this, at what point does a chain go from a chain to a necklace?

Because what I saw, like, I mean, that's a borderline net, but it starts going down to here, Paul, when it's down to your cleavage, like, what are we doing here? Yeah, I know. The thing is, when it comes to- You know, that's your boy. No, no, no, I get it. This is the sports gods.

It's the balance of the union. If the Knicks are finally going to win a championship, something's going to happen. And as the superstitious people say, bad things come in threes. Okay? And I don't know what it is about signing we're playing for a fucking New York football team. Vinnie Testerverty, Aaron Rogers, and now Jackson Dart. So you're done. That cloud is going to move on to somebody else.

But, you know, the difference is Jackson Dart is in the prime of his career. is just starting out. So that definitely sucks because that was a tough game to watch with the, dude, how, by the way, how amazing did the Rams look? I don't want to like, I'm not trying to pour salt, but they just looked super fast and super strong at every key position. And people were getting on what's his faces. Jesus Christ.

I've got to start making a list of the names here. Jameson Winston. James Winston. He couldn't move the ball. Well, because it was two guys in his backfield before it even got a chance to set up. They were just blowing up the line there. And what's his face? Who came back?

The guy who curls with 150 pounds was just. Oh, Aaron Donald, dude. Aaron Donald, dude. This is too much for me as an old guy. Sam Darnold, Aaron Darnold, Donald. It's too much. That fucking guy took two years off from football. How about this?

He didn't miss a step. How about this? Aaron Donald goes like this. He goes, yeah, I'm coming back. First of all, Hall of Famer Super Bowl champ. And he goes, I'm going to come back. And he goes, I just want my youngest son to see me play because he's old enough now. It's like, dude, if you're that good, if you're like, I could go do another season.

So my youngest can see it, it's incredible, man. Yeah. Devante Adams, obviously a huge game. Matthew Staff. and all of it. But you know, obviously you're your guy going down. It's the game. I will say this. Hey, shout out too to Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. That has got to be the most difficult game. Yes, yes. Yes. That ball in the air for frigging three hours when, you know, the starter on one team goes down. And then they just can't move. It just was one three and out after another. Well, one thing that the Giants players were saying, and it's not an excuse, but I saw it as a Giants fan, when Jackson Dart

held his knee and the fucking team looked and he got off. I literally saw deflation and I just saw the Rams see blood. Now, I'm not saying that, but I just felt like we lost something there. But going to, I got to go back to your, I got to go back to your necklace thing. As an Italian, you can't have this. These guys, you can't have these, the choker. You're not saying tight pants, but I'm also not saying Missy Elliott. Right, I get it.

There's a fine media. The cashbag thing. Yeah, you can't look like a gimp that somebody's walking around, walking you around in a leather suit. Dude, he could have lassoed a fucking horse with that thing. What did you go? What was your record? Because I was one in three.

I was probably 0 and four. I have no idea. Dude, I know, I know. The only game I remember that I took was I took Atlanta against the Panthers. Dude, how about the Panthers going 70-something? points. I guess Atlanta stinks, so they did what they were supposed to do. I don't know who they played in week one, but the dirty south there, Paul, the division I stay away from, all of a sudden. And how about the New Orleans Saints coming back against the Rams? I was in New Orleans

last weekend. You know, I did your other podcast there, and we, you know, low, I forgot to bring up, dude, the Saints, you know, if they had some more winning seasons, that all black with the gold and the gold helmet is pretty sharp, pretty sharp-looking uniform. Yeah, we, Bill came on Paul's best, and we did best sports uniforms and logos. And everybody said we did a good job. There was a couple of people you missed the Steelers, which I said would happen. They said, oh, what about the Vikings? Steelers.

It doesn't do anything for me. Yeah. I'll actually like the ones that they wore in the 70s, the white ones, the one that they wore in that first Super Bowl against the Vikings. I like those ones better than the black. I just, I don't know. And then also, I like the Pittsburgh Pirates uniform is better than the Pittsburgh Steelers. I just, it just is what it is. Tampa Bay Creamsicles, did we talk about those?

Ugliest sin. Always were ugliest sin. That pirate that the Buccaneer they had looked more musical, like, it looked like it was in a Broadway musical. It was, it's the antithesis of the Oakland Raiders. It was like they're gay-up. Like, I'm going to put a door it between my teeth, honey, and we're going to play some football. Yeah, biting the knife never looked good. It's like that thing where everybody in the movie thinks it's a good movie, and then it's just, it wins a raspberry.

Let's bring in our injury report guy. Jake the Snake, I went one in three, which equals me out at 500. Jake, do we know what Bill did? And obviously, we know the Jackson Dart report, so you don't have to say it because I don't need to hear it again. But what did we go? Do you know? I don't know.

I know I went one and three as well. I didn't do so well. I took the Giants. So, oh, here, Andrews got our picks from last week. It looks like Bill, Bill of the Packers, who did not cover. I had that too. Chiefs didn't cover. Bears probably didn't.

Bears didn't come. They didn't cover. And Falcons deathly didn't cover. You went on four, Bill. Yeah. Woo! Well, you know what? Thank God we both started three and one.

So we're right there. Paul, it's the first two weeks of the season. You can't, this is like your first two times on stage. Oh, bad is stand up. You don't know what you're doing. Don't you remember last year? Last year, me and you both started out five and 17. And you came back.

That's right. Anyway. Well, I mean, how the fuck did I know that fucking Caleb Williams was going to go down, you know? Exactly. I guess the jets are for real. I mean, you're learning things. And how about Daniel Jones? Daniel Jones looked great with the Colts.

Chiefs look great. Paul, I don't know what it is this year. I don't hate anybody. I'm happy Patrick Mahomes is back, you know? You know, it really sucked. The Cowboys looked great, too. Yeah, they played the Ravens. Oh, okay.

they play the Ravens this week. That's a big game. We'll just kind of see who's the contender and pretender there. But Bill made a good point at the beginning. This kid young, Bryce Young on the Carolina Panthers. The kid gets benched. They say he's too small. He can't play in the league. He gets his job back at the end of last year, balls out.

And right now he's putting up numbers, dude. The Carolina Panthers look really good, dude. All right. Well, they kick the shit out of the Falcons. Who do they beat the first week? Jake, by the way, the fucking Gene Hackman haircut? I'm loving it. I'm here for it, dude. Thanks.

I'm ready to give you an Oscar right now. Fucking Popeye Doyle is here. This is amazing. Who did they beat the first week, Snake? They lost to the Bears. But it was a good game. It was a good game. All right.

Well, listen, they lost, Paul. You want to crown them? Crown them. Bill, you know Jake is going to lose touch when next week he has the same hairdo with the circular red glasses, like a Hollywood. He goes, and what the fuck are you doing in a pink robe anyway? You made me pop your eye out for Johnny fucking him?

I got to watch that one again. I still, nobody's ever answered why that creative choice Scorsese made. Did you notice? Maybe I did see it. he did he in one of his movies he would do something that oh no one that was the departed there would be an ex so you knew that person was going to get whacked in uh casino he did this really interesting lighting thing where it's like they were about ready to go to heaven like they'd be

sitting in the car and he had him right over the top yeah i remember that yeah yeah anyway you know you know what i just saw bill the scene in the scene in good i'm sorry the scene in godfather where Sonny goes to Michael, they're all at the table. And Sonny goes to Michael, why don't you just join the military? And he goes, I did. And he goes, what? He goes, I did. I just enlisted in the Marines.

And he fucking starts fighting. And he starts going nuts. And he's like, you fucking punk. And he's doing this. And Michael's fighting him off. And then all of a sudden, he looks at the sister and the guy, Carlo, that she's married to. And he goes, he goes, Connie, go show Carlo the tree. Like, that was the way of saying, go show him the Christmas tree.

How funny is that? So they just, two adults just get up. He just told his sister, go show him the Christmas tree so we could have a meeting. And nothing was said. They just got up. I loved it, dude. You know what I mean? I'd have to watch the city.

I get it now. I get it. Yes. Go show Carlo the tree. Such an incredible movie. It's the bad. Dude, the Godfather is just a get. Somebody goes like this, and I didn't appreciate it.

They go, what's your favorite movies? And I was like, and they were like, I know, everybody says the God, and it's like, no, it's because Godfather, one. two is six hours of fucking incredible cinema. It is, but here's the thing. You also have to expand past that. There are movies at that level that have been made in other

countries. Criterion collection, dude, I'm telling you, you'll see some stuff on there where you'll just, I'm going to send you, I've been watching, my listeners have been sending in some incredible, incredible groundbreaking stuff and, you know, a lot of, you know, these

directors, they watch that stuff overseas and then we don't know, we're like, He was the first guy to blah, blah, blah. And then you see these movies and like, oh, oh, I think somebody went to a Japanese film festival there because this shot looks familiar or this story or something, you know. So there's, there's, there's Scorsese's all over the world there. Paul A. All right, let's let's get into it, Paul. I believe who's got the first pet? I think I get the first pick.

I don't give a fuck. I went 0 and 4. I shouldn't even be allowed to pick games this week. I'll let you know if there's an injury, Paul, because there was a lot last week, but let's get into some picks. Oh, yeah, we have to, we do have to talk about that, Paul. The names come in this site.

It's like James, James Winston, Carson Wentz, uh, fucking, not Marioucci, whatever the fuck is there. The Oregon kid is back. It's like football from 10 years ago. Yeah, Tom made that tweet too. It was like, your child. It's still going.

Jim Funkett. I mean, I tell you, Paul, things are bad. Things are bad. Dude, backup quarterbacks are dusting off their cleats left and right this year. Brady Quinn, I think, is back with the Bears. Brady Quinn, I haven't heard that. All right. Come on, let's go old school.

You got to throw one in there. Jeff Blake? Jeff Blake. Oh, there you go. Jeff George. Jeff George. Jeff Hostetler. We'll do all the Jeffs.

Dude, this is a tough, dude. I mean, I'm bringing people up off the couch, not off the bench. There's people, this former NFL quarterbacks take, do you know that nap you take on a couch where you're facing the inside of the couch? You're not even facing the teeth. You didn't nod off watching TV. You said, fuck there. You rolled over.

It's a wall shaking their shoulder. Ah, dude. I'm a colds called Philip Rivers. right in the middle of that map. Brian Lefwich. Oh, my God. Byron Lefich, that's a good one. All right, dude.

This is... You can't tell me every time somebody's not calling Andrew Luck. Oh, my gosh. He's a cream puff, dude. There's no miles on that engine. He's not even old. He's probably early 30s.

Yeah, you think he just turned 32. He's like that. He's like that guy that's got like a 59 car. in his garage and people go, what? It still looks like that. Oh, yeah. Just don't even take it out. Dude, how like sneaky, super intelligent was Andrew Luck? No, my God.

Andrew Luck. He looked like a fucking caveman. You're like, this guy, he knows football and that's it. The guy went to Stanford and actually went to class. All right. You know what I'm going to do for my first pick? I'm going to take, I know it's a lot of points, but I've seen nothing from Miami that has shown absolute anything.

I think the Kansas City Chiefs are just rolling, and I think they're going to roll over them. I see it being a two-touchdown game. I'm going to take the Chiefs laying 11 against the hapless Miami Dolphins. I mean, that's a layup, and I'm going to go with another layup because I need a win. Oh, I hate the half a point. I know it's a Thursday night game, and it's a simple game plan. I'm going to either get a win or a loss early. I'm going to go with the Packers, Jordan Love, minus four and a half.

I still don't get Snake, what's going on there? Somebody hurt? Well, with Atlanta, what's happened is they were down to their third-gen quarterback because Tua and Michael Penix are out, but Michael Pennex is making his debut tonight. So the line's going to calm down just a tiny bit.

But, yeah, Atlanta looks really bad for the first two weeks. We'll see if Pennix does anything to help out. Whatever, it gives me excuse to watch the game. I'm going to watch it anyways. I'll take the Packers laying four and a half. all right this is a tricky one i can't believe i'm doing this but you know what the lions are on the ropes as they say and they need to either get out of the corner and start throwing right hands or it's it's going to be a problem i'm going to take the new york jets getting six and a

half in detroit um the jets the jets have kind of been looking really good and the lions are up and down. I like the points. I wish it was seven and a half, but I'll take it at six and a half. Paul, those are two. I think you just went two and oh. Those are two great picks. All right. Um, uh, why do I like all favorites this week? Seahawks looks good. That Bengals three and a half, that half scares me. Steelers and Bengals always notoriously play well, but I mean, I'm getting energy from Aaron Rogers. Dude, that guy goes back to the bench after three and out. He looks like he's, waiting for the results of a paternity test, dude.

He just, his energy is just, and I'm not chitting on him. He sits down like, I would talk football with you guys, but I don't think you wanted to stay in the game. That seems to be where he is mentally. So I might stay away from that. I know, I think I might, this is stupid. I'm going to take the Cardinals getting eight and a half.

It's a division rivalry. They've been scoring points. They've been playing better. I think, you know, 49ers obviously win the game. I take maybe they take their foot off the gas let them sneak in real backdoor cover there paul back i love that i love that pick um are the texans oh and two snake they are but they played the bills and the bengal's to open the season and they're probably not going to have nico collins um so we'll see but yeah they they're still going to be good in the long it's a long

season but i think it just had a tough schedule to start so their favorite it's going in there against the Colts at home. Colts are at home. That line is right. That's crazy. Think about actually. And let me ask it is, the charges are Owen 2? They sure are. They are a big, big Owen 2. Very bad. They lost to the Cardinals. They got the shit kicked out of them. And then they lost to the raid. At home, too, both games. Horrible. I'm going to take the Chargers getting seven. It's their season. You go 0 and 3.

It's a wrap. I'm going to take them getting 7 because they're literally playing for their, they're really playing for their season. So let's see if. Regular season lives, Paul. They're regular. Jim Harbaugh. Is Jim Harbaugh going to go 0 in 3?

Is Justin Herbert going to go 0 in 3? But even if they do, I like the 7 points. I think they're going to be in it late. So that's why I'm taking the 7. Oh, look at me, Bill, going all doggies today. Get it. I got to tell you, I like Buffalo. Oh, we could go ahead to head.

Josh Allen is seasoned now. He always had the talent. He's a fucking beast. It takes at least two guys to bring him down. It's got a cannon for an arm. And now he's, I'm not saying I'm doing it yet. Typing it in. Hang on a second.

How many touchdowns do you guys think he had? Because I know this number. How many touchdowns do you think Josh Allen has through the first two weeks? Two? Five? A lot more. Nine. Wow.

That's passing and throwing. All right. Who have they played? They beat the shit out of the lions. But they played Houston, too, at Houston. Houston's defense is good. Oh, Bill, you're going to go, we're going to do our first head-to-head? You take a Buffalo?

Buffalo, Bill? I've been watching a lot of football. You wouldn't know that my picks. But, dude, you go where Week one look good. Huh? Yeah. Week one is some fat guy coming out of the crowd.

Hey, take a half-port shot. I mean, all right. I'm going to take Buffalo at home. I like the bills. And I think their new stadium is bullshit unless the owner paid for it. Dude, this fucking shit where they go, like, for us to compete in this league,

what? We have to increase the value of your team by half a billion dollars. explain the Packers, Paul. They've been playing in the same dump for 100 fucking years. They've won four Super Bowls. Yeah. Bart Starr, Brett Farb, Aaron Rogers, Jordan Love.

I don't see people going like, the weight room isn't shiny enough. They won 11 NFL titles, too, if you want to throw those in there. It's all bullshit. Look at what the Bears are trying to do, too. Terrible. They're trying to move to Indiana.

Are they? Well, they're trying to build some new stadium somewhere. and Chicago is not going to pay for it. So they're trying to look elsewhere. We talked about that last. The whole thing is the Chicago Bears have been in Chicago for 100 fucking years. And these football, the owners of these football teams are so fucking greedy. It's disgusting.

They're so fucking greedy. You can't take the Bears away from Chicago. No. Move them to fucking Indiana already has a sports team. They got the Colts. Indiana already took the Baltimore. Colts. If they, if they fucking take, if they break up another marriage, all right?

All right. There's old people in fucking, uh, Baltimore, I think still never embraced the Ravens. Yeah. If you look up teams on Wikipedia, you can like, it'll like trace back to like where they started. I think like the Patriots actually started in Indianapolis. No, they didn't. Yeah.

Like, they count like the ownership of the club. I'm going to look into it. Maybe it was reversed then. I don't know. No, if you want to know, they could. Give me a team. I'll tell you what's up. The fucking Arizona Cardinals started in Chicago, then went to St. Louis, then went to Arizona.

The Baltimore Orioles started in St. Louis. They were the Browns, the St. Louis Browns. Did the Chargers start in L.A.? Yes, the charges started in L.A. They played in for one or two seasons. And then they moved down there. the Buffalo Braves then became the San Diego Clippers. Now they're the L.A. Clippers.

Guys, I have no life. This is what I do. If the fucking Patriots started in Indianapolis. Yeah, now that's the wrong example. Maybe it was the, yeah. The Houston. The Edmonton Oilers, maybe the Edmonton Oilers, they were the Indianapolis racers in the H.L. Let me just say again for all the listeners.

I have no life. And the Titans were the Oilers? And what were the Texans? No, the Titans were the Oilers. The Texans were, what was that, Bum Phillips? No. No, the Texans, the Houston Texans were the replacement for Houston losing the oil. They just built their team.

The Dallas Texans were an AFL team. And when they were in Dallas, there was no NFL team. So the first year of the NFL, the NFL laughed at the AFL publicly and said they're not going to make it. And then they made two moves to screw over the league. Lamar Hunt owned the Dallas Texans and he had the deepest pockets so he could hold out the longest. So they immediately awarded a franchise to Dallas to compete with them. So the Dallas Cowboys were going to stink, but you could see James Brown, James Brown, Jim Brown and all of these legendary players or this no-name league.

So that's why the Texans moved to Kansas City and became the Kansas City Chiefs. Wow. That's what that was about. And then the other move they made was the Minnesota Vikings were in the AFL. They never played a game because the NFL said, hey, do you want to join the NFL? So they put a team in competition with the richest owner of the NFL, and then they took one of their teams. So if you really want to get down to it, Paul, with your Sicilian loyalty. The real reason why the Vikings have never won a Super Bowl

is because they never made up for that fucking rat-face movement they make. They went Henry Hill. They turned state's witness and they went over to the NFL. They were wearing a wire. You're not getting this anywhere else, guys. They fold under questioning. No, you're not going to listen. You're not getting this on any other sports show.

I've got to assure you that. Nobody's giving you this information. In 1946, the ballroom. Miami Seahawks were moved to Baltimore. And after a fan contest, they were renamed the Colts before moving on. The New York Yankees started in Baltimore. Did they? And then they became the New York Highlanders, and then they became the Yankees.

Wow. I don't know why I know this shit. Yeah, that's incredible. The Rochester Royals became the Cincinnati Royals, which became the Kansas City Kings, which became the Sacramento Kings. Now the Oakland A's, this is the last one, and I'll stop torture. Philadelphia A's, the Kansas City, Kansas City A's, the Oakland A's. Now they're in Sacramento, wherever the fuck they are.

North Carolina, Sacramento, now they're going to go to Vegas. They're going to Vegas. So that will be their fifth, one, two, three, four, five cities that they've played in, which I think it's the record. Poor Oakland. I mean, losing the Raiders and the A's is really not cool. It's another example where we're talking about. earlier with all these teams moving. No, it's just all fucking greed.

Dude, Oakland fans are great. Oakland is great. Yeah. Music, the food, the people. It's fantastic. And that whole, the whole Bay Area is fucked up. Forty and 49th. San Francisco used to be great.

The tech pros went in there. They bought that whole place up. And then all the people who used to be able to afford it, then moved to Oakland, they fucked all of that update. They fucked that whole area up. Nerds. Nerds. When you take two sports teams away from an

like that you're really messing up their economy too financially you're taking a lot of business away so as well so it's not just uh the fans there was nothing wrong with the oracle and there was nothing wrong with the fucking raider stadium we grew up in those those multi-purpose stadiums you got global warming put the baseball and the football in the same stadium it's just jealousy you know i i people reach out and they were like reach out to us reach out to my show this show and they're just like, dude, when the Chargers left San Diego, I was just so heartbroken and it's like, you know, doesn't L.A. have enough, you know? No, and it's stupid. And like, I think that that stadium, it's a bunch of people driving up from

Sandy. I mean, you're a hardcore fan at that point. But I don't know. I think the, that's a stupid move. They, they, I mean, it seems to be working. There seems to be people there. But, you know, Paul, you know this business. You can pay for a room. I don't know. I've yet to go to a L.A. Chargers game at SoFi, which I've got to be honest with you, it sort of looks like, remember those gas stations they built in the 60s when they thought that we were going to colonize the moon? It kind of looks like an old 76 gas station in a way.

All right. I'm going to do my fourth pick, my fourth and final pick today. I'm looking at these fucking lines. Dude. And I hate to do this. because it's a division rival. The Cowboys look good. They're at home.

They're getting three and a half. I like to have a point. Am I really going to take three dogs in week three? I think I am. I'm going to take the Cowboys getting three and a half. I hate it. It hurts my heart. I want to take the Giants minus two and a half at home,

but I just don't trust James Winston enough in the first week. I can't do it. So the only game that I, yeah, I mean, I was going to take the Eagles four and a half. I'm getting so sick and tired of that dumb go birds. Go birds stinks. I'm going to go Cowboys. Three and a half. What can I do?

This game. This game is in Brazil. Speaking of NFL grade. But yeah, this will be. Oh, this Cowboys game is in Brazil. Brazil. Yeah. Not even better.

Even better. I like the points in Brazil, even better. I like, I definitely like taking points in Brazil, considering how gorgeous. the women are down there. I think that that helps the underdogs. Kind of levels the playing field there. All right, Paul.

Hey, Jack Prescott's going to have his fingers on something more than a fucking stitch on football. Hey, you don't name names in Rio de Janeiro there. Oh, I'm sorry. Citi Lamb, have a good time, will you? DeGerno. I said Dijnero, like the fucking mustard, even though that's French. Hey, George Pickens, have a good time out there, all right? All right.

I'm going to bet with my hat on this one. I don't go Borough, LSU guy, cigar smoker. You know, he's had some injuries. I just think the Bengals are playing great football. I fucking hate the half a point. I know the Steelers are at home and they always play him well. I just, you know what, Paul, I want to watch this game. And I'm staying away from my Patriots this week

because historically speaking, the Jaguars have always played us tough for whatever reason. And I kind of like them getting pretty high. I kind of like that, Paul. You know, if I could do it over again, I probably would have taken the Patriots. But you can if you want. Andrew, that's one of my picks. You can write that down for me.

No, no. Okay. I'll let you do that. I do like, I don't know, I'm really good vibes this year. I'm rooting for people. I'm rooting for Joe Burrow. I'm rooting for the Jets. I'm rooting for the bills.

I don't give a fuck. I don't know that. I'm happy the chiefs are healthy. I think all of that's good for football. And especially with all of these injuries at quarter. You know, hopefully most of those guys will come back. That Caleb Williams, how long? It's a hamstrings.

What's all that? Three weeks, four weeks? Yeah, it's just a couple weeks. I mean, it looked like season ending at first because it's non-contact. He went down and he got carded off. He also put the towel over his head like he blew out his knee. No, he was like he was like crying. Yeah.

Well, you know, these kids grew up differently now, you know, they're allowed to them out. They paint their toenails. I was just going to say, I like the kid, but he paints his hands. He paints his nails. What can you do? Paul, back in the day, the guys from our generation also wanted to scream, but they knew what was going to happen to him. It's going to be they get the private pile, the soap and the towel in the locker room.

These kids are just as tough. They're just allowed to emote now. Listen, if you think, Paul, you wouldn't want to hear the noises coming out of me if I fucking ripped it. Exactly. If I spray my hamstring, I'd be screaming like that, too. That sounds horrible. Yeah, well, you know, what can you do? It's easy to have mantis and tell somebody that toughen up when you're sitting at home without CTE.

Like, I hate people to watch old clips of football going like, this is real football. This is the football that I miss. It's like, well, you're fucking heartless. Let's go see these guys now and how awful their quality of life is. You go out there. I have no problem with these linemen going out there looking like a fucking bobblehead. You know, I have a theory.

I think it's how it's shot. I think if football was shot, how it was in like the 70s and the 80s, I think people would think it looks just as tough. They just shot it better. Like even NFL films when they show a game from like two years ago, it just looks. It's cut like an old. Dude, I think it looks tough now.

These guys are so fast. They used to see it in like the stadium with the blitz. They were taught to lead with their head. No, I know that too. And you can hit the quarterback after he threw the ball. And it was not a problem. You could hit him on whatever as many times as you want. Yeah.

Yeah, no, it was, it was just, you know, you were playing on concrete, too. And you can hit defense's receivers. Like, well, before the ball, you got there. One of the toughest players in the NFL was the carpet at veteran stadium, dude. Even the fucking. Oh, my God, dude. You're playing in a parking line. Oh, too, Michael Irving's career.

He got, he was almost paralyzed. Oh, that's right. That's right. And Eagle fans all applauded because they're so edgy. Yeah. Did you want to switch the Bengals? You know what they are? You know what they are?

The Eagles are like a giant. They're fan base, just Philly in general, like a giant collection of people. Like you get to a certain age and you start, when you start getting more healthy and you start looking at the people you're hanging out around. Like that's, yeah. Anybody who cheers somebody who got injured on and they think it's like funny and that they're badass is. It's a really weak move. And it's a weak move that ESPN has gassed them up all these years going, no, silly.

They threw snowballs at Santa Claus. It's just like, all right, if you want to be a, hey, they're losers and proud of it. All right, you know, have fun with that. No fucking balls to do any of that. You're sitting in a stadium at a home game. Stupid. I don't understand that either. It's like, why would you want to cheer?

for their best player to be injured, don't you want to feel the satisfaction of beating the other opponent at their best? Yeah, and I used to think before they won championships, oh, this is all that they have. But the fact that they still do it now, it's just like, oh, yeah, you guys, they're just not raised right.

It's really like, you're not men. Yeah. It's, that's a, I don't know. I think the, I think the NFL is as tough and as scary and violent and dangerous as I mean, these guys are so fast now, dude, and like, I don't even think people can comprehend like what these guys' bodies go through their brains and shit, dude. It's nuts. Well, tell that to somebody that's winning their fantasy league.

They're sitting there wondering why they're not GM of an actual fucking team at this point. I don't know. I've never liked that shit. Hey, Paul, could we have been more wrong on the Monday night special? No. Well, listen, nobody, listen, these things aren't anticipated. Bill, do you want to change that pick or no? That I can... Did you want to go Patriots, or are you staying with the Bengals?

No, I'm going to stay like... I get superstitious changing. Andrew, you can still put me down for the Patriots. I like that pick. I mean, I'm sick to my stomach to take the Jets and the Cowboys. What am I going to do? I know, but Paul, you're separating your heart from your pick. That's a good thing.

Listen, I had a, I got to get back. I got to get back. Hey, I got to get back up on that horse. Dude, I got to be honest with you. This is the last thing I'll say about it. I like James Winston off the field. I like James Winston, you know, goofy and laughing and showing up the things with a cowboy hat and fucking jumping around and all the shit that he does.

And I think he's good for the locker room. I think he's a good guy. You know, I even like that he's a religious guy, all that stuff. But dude, as the guy. guy is an interception away from happening, right? He just is irresponsible with the ball. And I hope the Giants don't punt the season. And I hope that they are looking at it, like,

because I would have done something. And call me crazy, Snake. Tell me, tell me what you think about this, because I know you know a lot of these young guys. I would go look at a J.J. McCarthy. I would go look at a Joe Milton. I would go kick the tires on a guy that is young, needs a second chance and didn't do the job the first time

for whatever reason, maybe the organization. Look, everybody knows what happened to Daniel Jones, and bring a guy like that in and see what can happen with James Winston there as a solid backup. Instead of just going, well, we hope James Winston's the guy. And again, I'm not trying to shit on James Winston. James Winston's last nine starts in the NFL. You know what he was, including the last year?

His last nine starts, he's two and seven with a ton of fucking interceptions. I think 15 of them. So it's like, I think the Giants go and go get. get a guy that's young they're going to bring in jimmy garoppolo from what i'm hearing i'll see but uh yeah man prayers of jackson dark get better dude it's rough what could i say what could i say i would go out and i would try to get kelsey's brother that unretire and get and get jameson some fucking protection because you can bring in whoever the hell you want dude if they're running for their lives you know because i was like your boy there well you know

Remember that? The one year Tom Brady got hurt, and they brought in that. What was that guy's name, Andrew? Matt Castle. Yeah, Matt Castle. He was driving a Ferrari. Then all of a sudden he goes out to Kansas City and they stick him in a Camaro. And everybody's, oh, this guy, and they all started like cheering when he got hurt.

It's just like, dude, if you protect this guy, if you have a game plan, Matt Castle can clearly play. That's the big of good. Well, we haven't, I mean, dude, he was not as good as he was. he looked at on the Patriots and he was certainly not as bad as he looked on Kansas City. So yeah. Oh, by the way, how about, how about what's her face? When her husband scored a touchdown, she starts pointing at her fucking wedding ring like Kobe when he was about ready to win a fucking championship.

She said that's my husband. Yeah. She's all psyched. No, dude, the level of shit talking. It was bad enough when field goal kickers started celebrating. your wife is fucking doing something and i know she can sell out the stadium i get it i get it's but it's actually it's fucking ridiculous do you know where this all started showing the why who is the first one where they show the couple where did it start do you know already and joselle um

hold on give me the team no it's too easy come on paul you should know it the first wife that they looked at. Paul, I have no life. I know the origins of all the teams and I know where this player wife thing started. Well, he said Roomo. Jake last week said Romo. No, it wasn't it wasn't just before Brady. He said before Brady. So that was my guess. 1999. Would it be Aikman? Was he doing someone famous? Joe Montana's wife, no. Kurt Warner. When his wife, uh, the Jamie Lee Curtis. Haircut. Yes. They would go to her all the time. Who was he dating?

Good memory, dude. That was 99, too. That was right around that weird time when wives started inserting themselves. Remember that guy in the NBA? He had to go like this before he took a foul shot so his wife wouldn't beat the shit out of him when he came home? Doug Christie. Doug Christie. And then somebody gave him shit about it.

Doug Christie punched that dude out. And I was like, I like that. He's a family man. That's a good memory, dude. there had to be somebody before that wasn't madonna somewhere there had to be someone before there had to be um well there was when terry bradshaw was married to jojo starbuck i can go 50 years ago when she was like an olympic figure skater she was never in the crowd they never i don't ever they never cut they didn't cut these just cut the idiots drunk with their shirts off like

Bad news football right there. Look at those guys. Joe Joe Starbucks sounds like an old stealer. Yeah, it sounds like a football player. It really does. Can you imagine like, I don't know if like Farah Fossett showed up to cheer on Joe Namath? Like she'd be in this like tiny cold box up the dog. It wouldn't be as glad.

Like, you know, they only had one owner's box in those old stadiums. The rest was just outdoors. Yeah, when you supported your husband, you had to come out in the elements. Yeah, they didn't get tickets. Fran Tarkington's wife stayed home his whole career. Good luck, Fran A. I'm staying home, putting a log on the fire. Joe Montana called his wife. Joe Montana called his wife from the phone.

How great was that, dude? Dude, that fucking guy, man. For me, that's the guy. She goes, what are you doing? He goes, I just wanted to test it and see if it worked. He called her at home. How great is that? That's the best.

Joe cool, dude. I'm telling you, the two coolest guys that ever played football were right in the Bay Area. Ken Stabler and Joe Montt. As far as quarterbacks, just like, like if Bert Reynolds, you know, when he was at his height, man. Those guys were just the coolest guys. Those two great stories. Ken's named John Madden's given the whole speech like the day before. And he goes, hey, Kenny, he goes, make sure you're in bed early tonight.

and he said and then Ken goes in front of the whole team he goes coach he goes he goes how much sleep do you need to get to play three hours of football and he would just go out he's like I'm going out dude did you hear the beau Jackson story that he just told on a podcast I think I sent it to you bill did you see that dude I watch a bow Jackson highlight every other day that one where he throws that guy out flat footed for the white socks and he does like you don't fucking run on me. No, dude, this was like before, like, concussion protocol where you had to go in the tent and they looked at your eyes.

He got hit so hard and he said he was coming to and he kind of didn't know like where he was and like he's coming to and his teammates are looking at him. And then he said he like jogs over to the bench and he sits down on the bench and he looks over and it was the other team's bench. And the guy goes, dude, you're at the wrong bench. He just got up and went to the other one dude. Yeah, he's fucking brutal, man. Elements of that happened in to him too.

Julian Edelman Yeah, dude, all of those guys Like, I honestly, I feel like You know, what People are missing when they talk about all about the hits and that stuff you miss it's But it's also like, dude, the level of athleticism, You did not see that No

Other than a Bo Jackson, a Lawrence Taylor Red Oh Oh shit, going out You're on your feet My back? Yeah, you're back.

We'll skip. All right, I'm back. Sorry. You saw that, but like, dude, that guy, the guy in your team, that jumping back and making that catch, that's,

yeah. Yeah, I never saw Lynn Swan, and Lynn Swan had the greatest circus catches of all time. You see guys like now all the time, like once somebody does it, then these kids practice it, and then it becomes a part of their game.

You know, it's like the Jordan, Well, that's what happened with Steph Curry and three-pointers, you know, and all these kids, and I saw it with my son playing high school basketball, Steph Curry pulling up threes from five, six feet behind an NBA three-point line, and you go to high school games, and these kids are like doing moves, and they're just trying to do that, you know? Yeah, they show them it's possible, and then it just gets absorbed into the game. All right, I got something here in like 10 minutes. Let's do the Monday Night Special, and let's mercifully let these people get on with their days.

Well, Bill, you know what time. It is. It's time to sing, buddy. Am I back? Yeah, yeah, I'm back. I said it's time to sing, Bill. Oh, sorry, dude. Let the Monday night's special win some money for you. Maybe bet opposite what we do, and you'll finally fucking hit one.

All right. All right. We got the Eagles versus the Bears. The Bears have no Caleb Williams. No, Caleb. The Eagles have Jalen Hertz, who's going to come in and put the hurt on the bears. Sequin left last week's game, but he's probably going to play. I'm going to have that.

I think that the Eagles without Caleb, I mean, I think the Bears without Caleb are in trouble. I think the Eagles are going to win by a touchdown for sure. All right. Eagles. Or the Money Line. How do you want to play it? I think we go spread. Forget money line.

Let's make more odds for the people. I say we go Eagles with the point spread. Do you want to throw one? Jay want to throw one, Sequin, to run one? Yeah, it's a nice balanced attack. Let's get a win under our belt. I like it. Yeah, sounds good.

All right. I'm losing my connection for whatever reason. Let's wrap it up here. All right, guys. That is the show. Monday night special. We are taking the Eagles lane four and a half. Saquine Barkley score a touchdown.

Jalen Hertz to throw a touchdown. And guys, I'm in Jamesville, Wisconsin, October 9th and 10th, Buffalo Helium, October 11th. New Year's Eve, Philadelphia. Go to polverseve.com for dates. And I'm playing a minor league baseball stadium with Tom Seguro and Rachel Feinstein, October 17th. Yeah, it was funny.

My agent goes, you want to do a baseball stadium with Dave Chappelle? I go, yeah, and then they go like, and then I find out he's doing it the night after. Like, what the fuck? You didn't say that. That's hilarious. Oh, November 6, November 6 for the New York Comedy Festival. All right, thank you, guys. We'll see you.