Anything Better? - He Just Paid With His Face

Episode Date: March 27, 2021

Is there Anything Better than Bill and Paul talking about dumb technology, Scorsese films, and crying over sports.

What's up everybody and welcome back to another episode of anything better this is episode 10 we reached double digits who's number 10 Eli Manning who else is number 10 Dennis Grant Tarkington Grant Tarkington Dennis Rodman else is number 10? I wore number 10 in Little League. Bill wore number 10 in Little League. Who's number 10? It's Joe Joe White. Joe Joe White? Boston Celtics.

Oh, wow. There's two number 10s, Yankee retired, that I can't even think of right now. But anyway, you guys are listening to the- Chris Shambless. Oh, was it Chris Shambless? No. Chris Shambless was number 10. Wow. Nice.

We're missing so many quarterbacks too. Anyway, guys, you're listening to the best new podcast in the world. Please like and subscribe anything better and give us the reviews and ratings because the show moves up. You guys have been doing that. We really appreciate the kind words. Spread the word and yeah, like and subscribe anywhere you get your podcasts, iTunes, Spotify. There you go. Bill, as I- With floating heads this week. You got yellow on with the yellow background. This is actually blue. I thought it was going to be different enough. Well, I was going to get into my rough flight because I had, oh, did I have a rough one from Orlando? Tell me what happened. It was so rough that I started thinking. How rough was it? I started thinking about you when you called me that time

at that Albany thing that you ultimately turned into a bit. It didn't quite get there, but the dude came on and he goes, folks, we're going to be in some chop for a long time. He just goes, we're not going to be serving anything today. So just, it and i what scared me was i saw one of the flight attendants have a little giddy up in her step getting back to the seat and dude then the thing just started going and i'm like all right there's a guy next to me sleeping like this guy next to me was old school black dude kangle hat probably in his 70s dressed to the nines and he's just sitting there like this and what i was doing i felt like a bitch because my hands gripped the side anytime it moves my hands grip the side so i tried to like

look over and delta by the way shout out to delta airlines for being the only airline that leaves the middle empty during a fucking pandemic when people are dying and all these other fucking airlines like american united got you packed like sardines because they don't give a fuck but that's just delta airlines hey everybody has status they're fucking everyone hey but you know what they're keeping you buy a first class ticket you're gonna be one of the last people to get on that fucking plane you buy a first paul i buy a first class ticket so i don't have to fucking wait for animals like you to get on the plane our diamond medallion they all do that coconut sparkly level anybody with an ear infection and you just fucking stand in there when it when does group one how am i group one when nine other fucking fucking people

remember that key and peel sketch starts walking, Paul, and it's all bullshit. They're like Eddie Murphy in fucking trading places. They're pulling their legs up and shit. The Key and Peele sketch where they go, now any military babies? And this baby just had a full fledged military uniform. Anyway, so I'm looking over at the dude because I want to see if his hands are gripping the arm bars like mine were. Because it started to get a little bit and he just he just stoic. He just had his hands like this and he just had his head down and his eyes closed.

And I'm going, all right, dude, there's no way this guy's not feeling what's happening here. So he's either praying, he's either praying or that's... Jeff Lerner, He's at peace with his life. He's right with the Lord, as they say. Brian Breach, Yeah. And I'm going, fuck, man. I'm not even, you know, I just started going like, this is bullshit. I'm going like, I just want to get to my hotel. I just started going through the whole thing. I had a rough... But before I got into that, before I was going to get into that, I saw you as I was doing the intro for anything better,

episode 10, you looked like a hungry dog who was waiting to go. So I'm going to give you the floor, sir. I'll tell you, first of all, if the pilot goes, you know, this is going to be bumpy the whole way. That's not bad. They know what's going on. Yeah. yeah yeah if you just hear behind closed door the pilot be like that's when you got to get nervous but if they know what they're getting this is like the best we can get you i am a little concerned with global warming and the the in in the crazier weather we're going to be having i'm wondering how that's going to be affecting aviation but who do what the do i know but let me let me get into what i want to talk about paul yeah um so right before i uh i i came here i did you know i was coming back from the dentist i got my teeth clean look how light they are fall

huh not shocking or anything i'm just gonna start talking like this well you got nice straights too dude oh yeah i did the invisalign and i kept wearing the mouth guard i mean they were all right up here down here they're a little up all right down here those weren't good those were crooked yeah so anyways um so i stopped off at this health food place to get a lentil burger always excited it was actually good they put jalapenos a little salt soft uh sauce on it and also had like a bread bun so i really didn't i might as well eat a cow right it's an impossible burger yeah it's impossible to taste good out of here give me it does

taste good it tastes it tastes so good i won't eat one really dude there's always a price to pay there's a reason why ice cream makes you so fat. It tastes that good. You can't have something taste that fucking good. It's not a cow, man, and blah, blah, blah. It's all fucking red, and it looks like meat. They're trying to make it look like something bled to death here, and it didn't. So that's some sort of yellow dye number five they're putting in it.

Dude, fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. That's my thing. I never ate low-fat ice cream. I'm eating this shit because then they got to dump all this sugar in it to make it even taste better. So anyway, I go into this fucking health food place, right? All these emaciated people leaning up on stuff so they don't tip over.

That's not true. They're all in great shape and their skin was glowing. And I go in there and there's a guy in front of me. I'm standing on the circle, Paul, because I'm one of those people. If it says stand here, I stand there. I don't sort of fucking wander in

my mask hanger down here like a fucking dope, right? So this guy's standing there. He's at the front cash register. He has his sunglasses off. His mask is off and he's leaning towards the glass like this. And there's a glass partition. And on the other side, this person is holding up a machine.

And he's just sitting there staring at the machine. And I walked in in the middle of this, like, what the fuck is going on? And this lasts for like a minute. I'm like, what are they doing? They're trying to like, it was like when they give you a front end alignment, they're looking at your headlights, except they were looking at his face, trying to move this thing. And then finally he looks at his phone. He goes, okay, they got it.

I'm good. He goes, you're good. And he said, yeah, fantastic. And then they took it down. And then the guy just left. So I walk up and I said, what was that all about? And they said, oh, he just paid with his face. Dude, how fucking stupid that he goes,

the machine recognizes his face that is then connected to his credit card number. How fucking dumb, how fucking lazy are you that you can't take your credit card out and go, and then take the stupid pen and sign it you're gonna give these cunts your face and tie it to your credit card number i was literally standing behind the next lee harvey oswald i'm gonna see that guy in about three months getting dragged in with a big fucking knot on his face so i'm the patsy so i'm the patsy. So I'm the patsy. He just paid with this face, Paul.

And this is the thing about that. Human beings are such fucking idiots that they're going to see that. And enough of the herd is going to be like, I want to pay with my face. I want to have the latest thing. Because I don't have a dream that I've walked into that this is how I live my life. I want to do the face thing because i don't have a dream that i've i've walked into that this is how i live my life i want to do the face thing and then everybody's going to be doing the face thing and then they're going to phase out the credit card and then i'm going to have a meltdown on the last day you can use a credit card and my wife's going to get mad at me because i

have a temper that's how it's going to go dude Dude. If you saw this fucking idiot, like leaning into the fucking thing, I swear to God, somebody should have just put two behind his ear right down, right there, and just put him out of his misery. I picture somebody going, how much is it?

250? What about when you think they charged you too much you'd be like it's so fucking dumb dude it's so dumb oh shit dude yeah you're in a strip club you're in a strip club going to the 18 whatever you got to pay the stripper with your face you're like i thought you were going somewhere with eyes or like they were doing some sort of test on his eyes or senses when you said he paid with his face, dude. He's essentially microchipped. It's microchip light.

And then what's going to be like, oh, it hurts my back to lean into the screen. I just want to do this. Oh, dude, you got the microchip on your wrist? Dude, I do like a, I do a little dip. I got it on the back of my shoulder. Everybody's going to have some douchey way. It it's like this idiot came out to me the other night i was doing a show right everybody's got mass on and and some i overheard this person going you'll be able to recognize me because of this and she had like a bedazzled mask like that made her different

and special you knew i knew the second the mask came out i go there's only a moment of this there's like a six-day alley here where everyone's gonna have the same mask before douchebags you know the loud muffler guys yeah it's like the latest thing you have a weak engine but a loud exhaust system going down the fucking street and i'm sitting there i can see the guy for the next 10 miles and he's making this noise like he's driving on a fucking racetrack and it's like with all of that noise shouldn't you be disappearing over the horizon shouldn't i been like what was that was that a jet oh man you know i got to give you credit for something because you called something years ago and i was like dude it's not that big of a deal and it has haunted me ever since every time i go

to buy something bill they now the the email is now part of the field that needs to be required to be filled out so you know the way like you have to if you try click done you just give them a fake one then it comes up red dude i have all these emails that i have to now put in my junk mail because they're asking for my phone number my email i try not to give the phone number ever no no my fake phone number is three area codes in a row plus the number five oh that's a my fake email is you know it at something.com that's from uh that's from old school you know it break the tank you know it you know it it feels so good it's great when it tastes you touches your lips it touches your lips we were talking one of the best dude one of the best like small roles of a movie ever yeah because he added he added he adds so much just saying i it's so good when it touches

your lips that that is the coolest way of just showing what an addict this guy is and what a drinking problem he has that the way he was saying that he sounded like he was on like the food network yeah you know like the food network you know and something about cooking they always have to have like like the happiest kind of like it's gonna be okay but you're an adult music you know remember he was revving his thunderbird he was like it was like a beautiful afternoon and he's revving his Thunderbird. And she comes out with a trick. She was like the perfect wife. She comes out with a tray of lemonade and he goes, thanks, honey.

And then he walks from the he walks from the driver's side to the to like the hood of the car. And he just points at nobody. What's up, Mike? Yeah. With neighbor. Oh, dude. I think he had a firebird, didn't he? A firebird. Frank, the tank was is just so fucking

funny dude uh because i don't know if we're gonna maybe home depot i don't know if we're gonna have enough time a nice little saturday actually i could never figure out if that was product placement by saying it and they were making money or they were really commenting on how sad like that suburban existence is just going from one chain store to another chain store to another then later on tonight we're going to hit the olive garden oh he goes we were at the we know he goes we ended the olive garden the other night he goes which was lovely which was which was lovely and he goes yeah he goes uh then i see this thong he was talking about the thong he goes and then she has some crazy underwear because i don't know what that is i never saw anything like that because are we not in the safe circle are we not because no we

are we are um you want to watch that again oh dude dude that's uh okay then my next thing right dude my fucking sewage system out to the street literally shit the bed right it was like you know i i don't want to talk about it the the but but what's great now is all the toilets are working paul because what happened back in the day they'd have the cast iron sewage pipe but they had like you know sections of it and over the years as the house settles and earthquakes out here you end up having you know it breaks open a little bit and then tree roots get in there grow right through it and then the crap coming out of your house eventually you have a problem so they had to dig all of that up. Oh, man. Oh, dude, that cost me a Ford F-150. I mean, brand new F-150.

Oh. Cloth seats, but still. So I don't think it's an F-150, whatever. Maybe a Ranger. So then, because then they had to fix this other plumbing. See me rubbing my face, Paul? Because then they had to fix this other stuff that they found. So then today, I feel like I'm getting on the other side of that.

Okay? And my wife sends me a picture showing how she opened a door, and the door came off the hinges. And she goes, you see, it came off the hinge. I think you need to take the the door all the way off and see this is why i think we need all new doors in the house because they're cheap and blah blah they're not cheap they're old they're like part of the house but the door didn't fail the hinge didn't fail the screw didn't fail it's the piece of wood

for over the years all we need is we need one piece of wood and someone to paint it the same off white and then just drill it back in. That's all we need. And I'm literally sitting there at the dentist counting the doors in the house. Closet, because they all got to match, Paul. Of course. And so, no, that's not happening. I'm just going to. Oh, shit.

What happened? Just played out in our front yard with that fucking sewage pipe. Okay? So, we're just going to get the piece of wood. They're going to paint it the same color. And then we're just going to screw this thing back into the fucking... I'm not going to say fuck. You know what I might say? You know, yeah, I'm not going to say fuck. I mean, I might say, you know, yeah, I think eventually we could replace those, but just with the cost of the new sewage system,

we might as well hold off. We'll just get a piece of wood and then I'll just pray to God that none of them, she doesn't like the doors, Paul. You know, what's funny is that they do, my wife used to do that when I was on the road she would send me a picture or do something that i honestly had no control over in that moment and i would be in a hotel bed in in chicago and she would say the dog did this you got to get rid of them we got to find some and i'm going like i'm on the road right now i can't do anything or like when i go to the city for a spot and she'll just go not for nothing what was the deal with the garbage and everything like that? And I actually fantasized about getting in a horrible car accident and having them tell her, yeah, he was actually looking at this email. The last thing he was looking at while he was driving

was this email before this horrible wreck. And it said it was you doing that. And then just have her fucking live with that. I thought I actually fantasized about that. I fantasized about a police officer saying, we don't know if he's going to make it but we do know that he was reading this text on the fdr i know why that is you know why you had to have that fantasy paul because you've given up on just trying to communicate hey you know not for nothing can you not send me these stupid ass texts about shit that you could fucking handle while I'm driving down a tree-lined street? Dude, not for nothing is passive-aggressive, too.

Behind every great man's a woman trying to take credit for it. No, I'm kidding. Anyway, no, I love my wife's great. I love my wife. You know, what are you going to do? You know jokes it's jokes there you go cover your bases where are you going oh boy i hope she doesn't see this one now my wife dude seriously without my wife i would be fucking she was the one that got me a life insurance policy because i was the dumb guy going like i'm'm 33. I'm not, what am I? I don't, we'll do that.

And she goes, no. Yeah, you want to get it now because the rate will be way lower. Yeah. You want to start giving these fucking thieves your money now. Oh, dude. Yeah. It's, oh, let's talk about this. Because God forbid you're driving in town for a spot and, you know,

she gives you shit because you put a celery stalk down the garbage disposal. Bill, both of our teams made it. So we saved a little face here, okay? Sweet 16. I don't need to save any face, Paul. I called from the coin toss to the color of the Gatorade. This ugly face did not need to be safe i was you you went into the river i pulled you out all right the past is the past okay the super bowl is over yeah no uh gonzaga and michigan you know i was just doing that i was just

doing brodie stevens i pulled you out. I buzzed you in. Go ahead. Dude, rest his soul. One of the funniest things I've ever seen Brody Stevens do was when he was on Conan. And he goes, come on. He goes, a lot of energy on this side, not so much from this side. And then he goes, come on. He goes, I've done table reads on this lot.

I hated how people didn't get that. I've done table reads on this lot yeah i hated how people didn't get that i've done table reads on this lot is the greatest i cried laughing i cry laughing dude i've done table and and what and my my new favorite thing uh and shout out to chip chipperson on all things comedy my new favorite thing in the world is when chip chipperson goes he goes why he goes god damn it he goes he goes why is my picture not big on the website he goes he goes bill burr and burke christian billy lee god damn it i'm not happy yeah dude that character has fucking developed that was just some silly thing that he used to do. Now it's a whole look. He doesn't even look like himself.

Dude, I was on there with a couple people, and it was my first time. And when you talk and you get into something, he goes, he's like listening like this with his hands, like agreeing with you. Dude, I'm telling you, it's like my new Borat. Like that's how much I, I love it. I love it. He goes, yeah, well, you know, that's, that's true, Paul, you know? And then he goes, and then he got real serious. Like, oh, you had a, you've had a Komodo dragon as a pet. Yeah, I have. I have. And I had a snake with him too. When he has names, dude, it's like my, I love shit like that little shit like that. All right, Bill, here's the deal under over, under over me and Stacy have not, here we go. Ready?

Me and Stacy have not fought for three days, but I'm upset under over. Oh God, bury the under. Bury the under. It's, yeah, it's in. That's the thing, you know? It's a lock. The lock of the week. See, if she was upset about something, I could talk you, as long as I get enough lead time, I can talk you in a way to hearing her so there's not a fight and diffusing it. But when it goes the other way, you're going to air your grievance and you're heated. So there's going to be a couple of F bombs. She's going to get defensive. And women in general, they don't really take responsibility

for their actions. They're not really held accountable. Every other night at a club's fucking ladies' night, they don't have to pay for shit, right? Oh, Billy's coming in hot on 10. I'm fucking around. You're going to come in and be like, I know how you are, Paul. Because when you have shit that you want to say you think about it first yeah which is fine yeah i do but when it's with your wife you start getting heated

yes you live with this person so there's all this extraneous bullshit too that is just the spice in the stew and it just it starts bubbling over the lid starts going like this and it goes up and over and then she's just sitting there and then you're gonna come in with whatever your version of not for nothing yeah i know i start nice would it fucking kill you like that'll probably be like your opening statement no would you like to would you like to make your opening statement yeah i would would it it kill you you know what it is i start nice but all the ammo's been in like you know like in the movie before the end of the movie when he goes finally goes to the drug cartel and he's like i'm gonna kill everybody and all the guns are on the bed that's what i do before the argument guns in

everything in i got the ankle one i go the whole thing but then i go in softly and then as soon as I got the ankle one. I go the whole thing. But then I go in softly. And then as soon as it doesn't go your way. Yeah, as soon as it doesn't go my way. But no, man, I'm loving ice skating with my little girl. My little girl wants to play hockey.

My little girl's begging me for a hockey stick. And she got a hockey puck. And she's like talking about playing hockey. And I'm like, all right. You know, I never thought I'd be going to my daughter's hockey game. That's awesome, dude. Dude, I can't even tell you how awesome that is. Yeah, she's skating backwards with hockey skates and she's eight years old. So I'm going to be going. She's got a thing, right? Your son's crushing the basketball and the football so she's got to have her thing well yeah no he's done football man he's everything is now

my they're making them they're forcing him to play baseball because he's that good because he's just so smart at it like he just knows like he's just one of those cerebral like knows where the ball goes where they'll tell you right now you can't coach that yeah this kid's got instincts yeah uh i'm getting to the point though now where i'm starting to i'm starting to say things to coaches starting to say things to coaches in an in a not good way i'm starting to go like you know it's starting to happen where i'm just going to go look we're going to keep giving you to 350 or what you know because like we're being charged for this camp you understand oh bill i got issues what do you mean some of these places they they charge like they'll be like a camp or a clinic and they charge but you start to see that there's a lot of politics and things going on and

and maybe things about money a little bit so you know i'll leave it yeah when you get into the filthy world of sending your child to some advanced sports thing dude you know every dad there thinks their kid's gonna be a fucking draft pick and a professional thing and you know a league and at that all those dads are there it's about them one thing dude one dad's lying one dad they told me about this guy that just flat out lied he goes yeah dude my son's got the record for threes in the thing and like his son doesn't even come doesn't even guy just made it up dude it's like i'm starting to see that part of sports now i'm starting to see what's going on with your nose you gotta blow your nose you're doing blow

out there what are you doing you've touched your nose no it's dry dry because i'm fucking this florida shit sorry i thought it's humid down there what well you know what listen just just Listen, just anywhere cold. If he's clinically bronchial. Oh. I don't want to go anywhere cold. Just, just. And then he goes, well, I can't. He goes, just anywhere cold. And then she goes, he's bronchial. That's why.

And you know that guy. Here's an interesting fact for everybody listening to this. That knows good fellas. The guy that sat down with them and was like, I can't, you know, the detective, he's actually the real guy who was doing that for the five mob families in New York. That's the real guy that they got. That's what Scorsese does sometimes. He gets the real guy. In Wolf of Wall Street, the guy, lawyer the the detective guy that was trying to tell the wolf of wall street don't answer your phone and he was high on quaaludes that guy is really like the guy that does that like one of those guys so scorsese always gets the real the real by the way i was thinking about that what's your favorite all-time scorsese movie if you had to gun to your head well you'd have to

take Goodfellas out of the mix because that's just like so you think Goodfellas is joy I mean I'm going to live my life that's one of the greatest comedies greatest dramas greatest stories it's a perfect movie

it's perfect fuck alright let's go through them It's perfect. Fuck. All right, let's go through them. Mean Streets. Taxi Driver. Raging Bull. Casino.

Casino. Goodfellas. That ambulance movie. Departed. Departed. Aviator. Huh? The Aviator.as, that ambulance movie. Departed. Departed. Aviator. Huh? The Aviator.

Dude, The Aviator. Dude, I got a double feature for you. The Aviator and The Departed. Fucking Martin Scorsese. Oh, and then the last one he just did the irishman the irishman which my joe pesci in that and the way the way his last thing is he waves goodbye like i don't think a lot of people got that that was him saying goodbye what a fucking career man oh shit um how about when pesci was just as a matter of factly

eating the breakfast and he just goes we've done everything we could for the man and then just looked down at the plate to just go like no words else needed to be said and then it went on de niro just thinking like holy shit dude and pesci because he said it so as a matter of factly that the decision was made the night before and he wasn't even going to think twice about it. Yeah, no. There's so many of those. You got Kate.

I think Sharon Stone would have won the Oscar if she hadn't done Basic Instinct and all those people got upset because she showed her fucking hoo-ha, which, I mean, nowadays i think would be considered brave everything sharon stone crushed casino she was fucking unbelievable in that movie she crushed casino she really did like she played that fucking role i want my fucking money oh that whole lester diamond thing he goes did you tell her the part you took it as what does

that have to do with anything i like when he goes i lost control because you're in a pink fucking robe that movie i i have to admit i haven't watched i always love robert denier and sharon stones that whole story whole story, that back and forth of that toxic fucking relationship and this guy just loving this woman that's no good for him. And she fucking hates him, but she's picked these choices where she needs his money and she comes crawling back to him. And they both know it's bullshit. I mean, it's written so perfect. The way they do is amazing but the thing i can't handle is is when pesci's character sees his brother getting beat to death and he's still breathing and i i can't watch that that fucking there's something about that scene

was just so like it's probably the way it went down it just look it was too fucking real and the way he's like he's still breathing frankie and it was it was just like it was hard to watch that's one of my that's that's but we were talking about this at the stand the other night all right so you got all frozen up there it's the then goodfellas when he goes uh i mean everything you put your dirty stinky fucking feet and you he goes you called my friend a faggot and you put your feet up on the thing. He goes, are you and he goes, you better hope he lets you back in there. He starts hitting him with the ball. I mean, it's just it's incredible. It's incredible. I mean, I haven't I got to go. I also love that guy who comes in to defend his dumb son and actually admits to De Niro that his son's a little stupid.

It's his nephew. His nephew. Sorry, his nephew. Oh, the casino. He goes three times. It's impossible. Yeah, yeah. You were in on it or are you too stupid?

Either way, you're out. Yes. There's a couple of things. in on it or are you too stupid either way you're out yes never he goes a couple of things it's hard to watch me when pesci beats the out of don rickles i love don rickles that much that i can't even watch him fake get beat up there's just something about him the way he goes down like a old man he uh it's really the don zimmer moment when when pedro threw don zimmer down on the ground i mean it's really the Don Zimmer moment when Pedro threw Don Zimmer down on the ground. I mean, it's the same fucking thing. It's the movie version of it. That is perfect.

And I'm a Red Sox fan. I was like, oh, not the old man. Come on. He sort of guided him to the ground. That is perfect analogy. That's exactly what that is. Yeah. I'd have to say, then you'd have to get in. All right. Why don't you go like

favorite characters other than the obvious in each one of them. Like I love, I always forget his name. The guy, the guy who played the owner of the club where Pesci does the, you know, how am I funny to you? The guy who owns that club. Oh, oh, yeah. He goes, you know, not for nothing. We're talking about, you know, we're talking about seven fucking big ones here. You know what I'm saying? You want me to whack the guy? He goes, well, you know, it wouldn't be such a bad idea.

Oh, dude, that guy's performance in that is so fucking ridiculously good. And then Johnny Roast Beef, when he's just sitting there going like. It's in my mother's name. And he just keeps going i'm sorry i'm sorry like he just was such a fucking you had to whack that guy the way he played him he was just so fucking stupid but even the guy that played maury even the guy that played maury the pestering when he goes come on who loves you more than he goes, you know, you're the biggest, but who loves you more? It was just so good. You know what he said too, right before they killed him,

he was talking about the spread with the Utah jazz and the Celtics. He goes, yeah, right before you got to listen to it. Oh, I thought he was talking about when they fixed those games up at the one that Henry Hill fixed up at, uh, up in Boston. Oh, it was against Utah, right? Was that, it was the college games. They made a reference to it. That's why I never liked dude. Henry Hill was a piece of shit,

dude. Cause he went on years later talking about that on sports center and he was laughing about it. Yeah. We went up there and got these kids. He ruined their lives. Yeah. When their basketball careers and he was chuckling about it.

He thought it was funny. Total fucking sociopath. That's another thing too too that maybe goodfellas isn't my favorite because i love that movie until he gets fucked up on drugs and and he's a baby about it it's like he you did exactly what the fuck he told you not to do because if you did that they were all gonna die in jail and then your dumb ass went out and did it and then to save your own hide you put all your friends in jail oh they would have had me whacked you should have got whacked yeah that's a good point it's the drug timer lifetime of commitment i get a lousy six grand dude you should be in the he up

there he should have killed him he goes He goes, he goes, he goes $3,200, $3,200 for a lifetime, not even enough to pay for the funeral. And when he showed up to Paulie's house, Paulie took him in the backyard and just said, Hey, I don't care. And he smacked him. I don't care. I don't need to know anything. What you did inside, you had to do inside, whatever. Stop it now. And he didn't know no and he saw that he was on drugs get off of that shit it's fucking messing with your mind right there that guy if he's messing with it he's gonna be selling it paulie's fucked up yeah he fucked up but he probably loved him because he brought him in as a kid i don't know now i gotta turn my back on you he said i mean it's just i mean paulie he paulie didn't like talking to anybody this episode is brought to you by harry's

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Go ahead. The hoof. The hoof. Come on, Paul. You got one more. Oh, okay. You're one more. Oh, okay. You're wearing Michigan maize today. I love it.

Okay. You didn't like that joke. I saw it in your face. No, I don't care. I'm just listening. So we can talk about that too. My bookie, March is here and the madness has officially begun. Is there anything better than being a better way to play at my bookie? I don't think so because these guys know what they're doing.

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I think I don't want to misquote here I'm pretty sure during that time Henry Hill said something like the Yankees are going to lose a couple or like we knew they were going to lose, but it was fixed. Something along those lines. I want to go back and listen to it. But, you know, Henry Hill was a guy was ratting everybody out. I mean, I know. And it's also like he's trying to sustain his weak level of celebrity. So. I mean, how the fuck does he know it's fixed? He was out of the loop. I mean how the fuck does he know it's fixed he was out of the loop I will say let's talk about that this is one thing I want to talk about on this episode Bill because I really believe this I believe that the NBA has a select group of teams at the beginning of the year or the star power I should say yep where the it's of like, I think they did it with Jordan. I think

they do it with LeBron. I think they did it with, obviously they did it against the Sacramento Kings in 2006, which was the most egregious fixing that I've ever seen. I don't think they did it with Jordan. They didn't need to. No? Jordan could play the worst team in the league they get ratings it was when he left they didn't they were they were in trouble in the late 70s drugs had taken over the league and then the league became pedromedally black and all these racist white people don't want to watch this shit they were in trouble and then bird and magic came in one went to the celtics one went to the lakers and they stepped in shit and they were like holy shit and then in the middle of that jordan came along and they had this fucking almost 20 year run and they wanted to keep it going and they just did analytics

what made yeah what made that go there's the star power of those players. And I think that they've sold their soul to the super team to the point that these championships, not all of them, but a lot of them, the majority of them, like of the last, like, since the Kobe Shaq years, aren't really championships the way they used to be, where you had to be shrewd draft picks and, and, you know, and make maybe a blockbuster trade that, you know, those, and those things happen, but not all the time.

But this shit now where I'll see like three hall of famers on a team and they're fucking going, they'll be on ESPN going, they're still missing a piece. And I'm like, how much fucking more advantage do these guys need? Like how many more guys are going to join the Brooklyn Nets? That's what I was going to say. And I'm obviously going to come across as a Knicks fan that hates the Nets. I've called them a bunch of rats.

The all-star team was Team LeBron versus Team Durant. They're not even hiding it. It's the fact that Kevin Durant is on the same basketball team as Kyrie Irving and James Harden. And people are like, they haven't lost since Harden got back. Can you fucking believe that they're on a stretch? It's like, yeah, I kind of, I kind of do see how that could happen. And I got to tell you something as much as the fan base is going to be happy. They know I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I told you bill that one year, that one year the Yankees infield was Mark to Shara at first,

Robbie can know Jeter and a rod and we're fucking, we're going, it actually wasn't all night. Well, listen, maybe, maybe that's what sports is now. It's just like, it's a shame, dude. It's a shame. Yeah, I mean, I liked it better the other way. But, you know, I do remember his kids saying, can you imagine if this guy, this guy, and this guy were all on the same team and they played each other? I mean, we are kind of seeing that.

Well, look, look. I don't think it's good for the fucking league where you have to know as a Pelicans fan, as much as they're playing great this year with what they have, you have to know that when as those guys blow up, that their next move, it's almost like show business. join the Lakers or go join the Brooklyn Nets, you know, or whatever. If you want to go, if you want to go big time, if you want to get your ring, you got to pile on. We live in that time now where it's like the Avengers are all together. I want to see fucking Spider-Man and the Hulk and this, where I just like, I like fucking Superman, you know, and I just wanted to watch that. And I'm not thrilled with what's going on in sports. The NBA can be swung by 12 points like that. I think they fix it. I really believe that. I believe the NBA is manipulated. Without a doubt, dude, in the two thousands, it was beyond without a fucking doubt,

without a doubt. And that stern guy, I, guy, that guy, he was great for the league, but that guy was a fucking slippery eel, man. Listen, I don't like to talk about it again. Anybody know anything about hoop? You'd be watching a game going up. Because it wasn't like, hey, they're calling it tight. They'd be calling it tight, then they'd let him go. I still remember a Celtics-Utah Jazz game I went to.

I was like, this fucking game is fixed yeah yeah this guy hit his head and become somebody different did something happen during halftime somebody sent him a fucking uh hallmark card and all of a sudden now he's not like you could see it was like they were letting the horse run they were pulling back on the reins letting the horse run pulling back on the reins yeah and you're questioning the coach you're going why did the coach take him out he's, pulling back on the reins. Yeah, and you're questioning the coach. You're going, why did the coach take him out? He's got 20 points in the first. I would see shit like that.

I don't think it was the coaches, dude. The thing about the NBA, it's the most easily fixed game because it's the only game where the official can take a star player out. You can't kick Tom Brady out of a game. But I can go in as a referee,, you know, I got the other team and I'm giving Durant two quick fouls and he's on the bench in the first quarter. I give him that third one, I'm not going to see him until the third quarter. And then he's probably going to get mad and get a tee. There's number four, right?

Yep. That's it. You can – I would bet big money that there was a degenerate gambling coach that substituted in the NBA a certain way for a win. And listen, we'll never know that, but that happens. That happens. Yeah, it does.

My thing is I just wish, you know, I think Pelican fans should be able to enjoy a fucking NBA championship. I don't think they all have to land in the same city because they were already talking about what's-his-face. There's rumors that kid on the Golden State Warriors, arguably the greatest shooter I've ever seen. No, no, he's the greatest shooter of all time, and they were saying, wow, Steph Curry had such a good time

on Team LeBron at the All-Star game. And you know what? It's actually feasible cap-wise that if the Warriors don't win. Oh, so they were just talking about it. But, dude, if they did that, why would you even watch the NBA unless you were a Laker fan? Because it's just like, all right, this is a – and listen, dude, this is something I've been doing forever. That dream team in 94 or whatever, I've talked to all of this shit a million times. I didn't watch one fucking game.

I didn't want to see all of those guys playing the team Ethiopia. Yeah. Or a team from Greece or whatever. But it was kind of a good thing for basketball because I think that the reason why the white dudes in europe are so good is because they got their asses kicked so bad that they i think they just went in the lab and they were just like guys we can't ever let this happen again we just got raped on a fucking basketball court by the way shout out to damian lillard of the portland trailblazers who said, fuck super teams. I'm going to do this shit with my guys.

That's what the NBA needs more of. And that's the problem, dude. That's what the whole let's get together. What if we all played together? It's just like, what's the fun in that? What's that? There was actually an Olympics about 10 years prior to the dream team where they kind of fixed it so that the US would lose because they want this was before they let the pros so there's this there's footage there was a whole documentary. Oh that was in the 70s against the Russians wasn't it?

I thought it was the most ridiculous out of the rules thing. And so they've said that, you know, one of the reasons was America was like, all right, well, we're just going to allow our professionals to play and we're just going to end that. Yeah. That was that thing where they got the silver medal and the whole team didn't show up. And to this day, like most of the team never went down and claimed their medal like i don't want that fucking thing we won the gold but they did dude it was it sucks because it was a great game if you uh anybody listening to this if you youtube that oh six sacramento kings versus lakers game if you do it they actually broke down And I've never in my life seen players act like,

like they were looking around like this is the, it was, it was like the WWE. It was unbelievable what happened. And that team was good. It was, it was bad. And you know, Donaghy said something when he got arrested, where in the book, he said like the refs would be, and I guess I kind of get this, but the refs would be in the locker room before the game going. If Rashid Wallace or, or Allen Iverson opened their mouth once, it's a T because, like, that's what they do.

And, like, they kind of went in there knowing the problem child. But that's also, dude, that's a different, that's the thing, though. Yeah. You, as a player, you know, if you're going to be a douche to refs, they're not going to give you a borderline call. And I remember, you know, Rasheed going to be a douche to refs, they're not going to give you a borderline call. And I remember, you know, Rashid was on our team in, um, oh nine and they were giving him reputation fouls in game seven against the fucking Lakers. And I had to sit there and watch the Lakers in the Celtics, basically the NBA. And I watched the Lakers beat us in game seven

from the foul line, taking unguarded foul shots. It should have been this epic, epic, epic fucking game. And it was like a snooze fest. Other than the excitement that Laker fans had that they won, but it was just like, it was just foul, foul, foul, foul. They called like 30 something fouls on us and like in the teens against them. And my thing is like, look, if we were just egregiously hacking them, you know, then they should call those. But like if it's a game seven, if any time there's a game, let them play.

And I just thought there was a lot of that. You know, when the commissioner in the league, they go, what's your dream final? He goes, oh, the Lakers versus the Lakers. It's just like, should you really be saying that? Yeah, that's ridiculous. That's my knock on. That was my knock on Shaquille O'Neal with the foul shot.

The fact that Phil Jackson took Shaquille O'Neal out of the game with like five minutes left in the game because he was a liability from the line. It's a problem because, you know, make no mistake, Patrick Ewing was 77% from the stripe. Akeem Olajuwon knocked him down. The big men used to knock him down. David Robinson knocked him down. I got a question for you, Bill. When your team is in a big game, this is a stupid question,

and your team needs to win. Do you get not disappointed when it's a blowout in your favor, but sometimes, I was watching the Knicks of all teams, the Knicks, and we're winning by 35, and I don't know if I'm such an abused, but in my mind, I'm like, man, this isn't even a game instead of being happy. Do you ever get like that? No, I love a blowout because all of our games always seem to come down, right down to it. And dude, I don't have the stomach to watch hoop the way it's a game of runs.

Dude, the game, get up by 47 and it's just like 48 to run. They're down by fucking one. It's just like, yeah, I like every once in a while as a fan having a blowout game where i can relax and know my team's not gonna fucking blow it because i i to the level that i give a fuck on just a regular season game uh like dude i i you know i have to go somewhere mentally if my wife is in the house and I'm watching a game sometime so I don't ruin her night. Or if she just put my son down, you know, to bed,

and I just don't even think. And the Bruins score, and I just forget. I feel like I'm at the arena. I just go, woo! Yeah, baby! Oh, you do. Charlie McAvoy! Charlie! I just go, woo! Yeah, baby! Oh, you do. Charlie McAvoy! Charlie!

I just start screaming. We've got two Charlies on our team. That's always fun to say. Charlie Coyle, Charlie McAvoy. I fucking love this Bruins team that we have. I've really been enjoying them. But she keeps, you know, my wife will come in, like, doing that stuff. I'm like, sorry.

My wife will come and do that stuff. I'm like, sorry. Yeah, when the Knicks hit a big three or the Giants do something good, believe it or not, as much as I love the Knicks, watching my New York Giants on Sunday is probably my – I was thinking about the joy and the pleasure that I get in watching my teams. And I'd have to put Yankees number three. And then I was kind of going back and forth with Knicks-Giants, but when the Giants are clicking and the offense is running good

and the defense is locking people up where there's a pick, I hop off the couch and then I start running. I'll start running with the guy, you know? I'll start running. So, but your first – Hey, I'm looking up the – we got to talk a little march madness here i'm looking uh michigan's next game who do they play next we got oh we got the florida state seminoles are they any good uh i didn't watch any dude i actually speaking of michigan i watched

the highlight the other night they were down fucking i think it was seven to nothing in baseball, bottom of the ninth, and they scored eight runs. Who did? Michigan Wolverines playing Michigan State. They were down seven to nothing, and they just single, single. It was like watching the 86 Red Sox trying to close out the fucking Mets in that game six. It was just bloop single, bloop single.

Except they were hitting like doubles to the power, to the power alley or whatever. And listening to the local sports guy. I think the last one, it was like a triple that cleared the bases. And he just, his voice cracked. Because I thought his level of excitement was a little low. Because he was probably, I had 73, you know, fucking, you know, that is another hit. And all of a sudden I had trouble.

Clear as the braces and I win the game. I mean, dude, it was, it was, it was ridiculous. I don't think I've ever seen, there's never been, has there ever been a team in the MLB down seven runs in the bottom of the ninth and you score eight? Yeah, there's been, I in MLB down seven runs in the bottom of the ninth and you score eight? Yeah. I remember one team came back 12, I believe.

What happens is since it's more of a mundane sport as far as the time, the announcers lose their shit because they've just been going, strike outside corner. I know. Because he watched eight and a half innings of baseball. He was like, oh, shit, they scored again. All right. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. And they just get the last two outs here so they can go home. Three-run shot. I don't believe. And then they just, it all comes out of them in one shot where basketball and baseball, I mean, football is just more fast-paced. But that's one of my fantasies, man. I would love to call a game when something like that happens.

And then you're so in the moment, you end up saying something that people repeat. Do you believe in miracles? Yes. That's one of the great ones. Three seconds. When the Georgetown Hoyas just won the Big East tournament at the Garden with Patrick Ewing as the coach, the guy said Hoyas win 22 times. Did you see that? Hoyas win. Hoyas just won the Big East tournament at the Garden with Patrick Ewing as the coach. The guy said Hoyas win 22 times.

Did you see that? Hoyas win. Hoyas win. He did it 22 times. The ESPN counted it. He said it 22. Hoyas win. The Hoyas win.

Hoyas win. And you thought it was broken. I thought it was like broken. And the guy just kept because he's just like that's what they used. Because he's a homer. There's a lot of sports fans that hate a homer because now you can hear the homer for the other team. I love a homer announcer. Yeah. They're just the best.

No, he was the Georgetown guy. I love it. Yes, I'm saying. Yeah, of course. Dude, Bill, if the Knicks ever win a championship, you're going to hear things from me come out of my mouth you've never heard me say before. No, I know. You're going to cry. You're going to get emotional.

I don't know if I'm going to cry, but I'm going to go. Oh, you're going to cry. Yeah, I might. You're going to cry. Yeah, dude, I got to be honest. When the Capitals won the Stanley Cup and Josh Adam Myers did a video, I almost said, Josh, you fuck, were you fucking with people?

Did you see him? He was like, he fuck it. It's not a good time to film yourself. No, he was, I mean, he was like,

he looks like he went through. And I'm like, I don't know if I could do that, but like, and I said, dude, if I didn't cry when the Red Sox won in 04, I was just giddy and I was hammered.

And I was walking down the Upper West Side, had on a Red Sox shirt. And I was just to know, I was just going, woo, and I hear people going, shut the fuck up. And I just go, yeah, baby. I mean, i should have got my ass kicked um and then i just went into a bar and just got because i was already drunk i got fucking hammered and my wife took up my now wife took a picture of me and i was drinking a drink and i was like like there's a picture of me like getting into that thing you know where your head's starting

to go and you're trying to hang it like it was but I never I never cried no I remember I was there when the Patriots won their first Super Bowl I was there with my dad

and my brother and even then I didn't. I was just walking around like I can't fucking believe they just did that. I cannot believe what I've seen every other fucking great team do. A Patriots team finally did it. Dude, we used to play in like a Texas-level high school football stadium. We were barely in the fucking, it was a joke. Us, and then we played the Bills they had that they still have that awful state you can't cry dude like the more i

think about it as we're talking about it you can't you can cry you just don't video yourself no you can't when i saw that guy when me and you were watching the world cup and when what's the what's the kind of what argent Argentina lost the guy literally with the cameras. He was blubbering. It was, it was, it's like, you can't fucking stand in there. He looked around and he just quit. He started doing that. His bottom lip was doing this shit. I understand throwing things. I actually do understand anger. What the fuck is the coach doing? How's he not in the game for a chance? I get that. But the whole like,

I just can't do that, dude. I can't. I didn't cry when Eli beat the undefeated. I was just like, oh my God, dude. Was that a flag? That's all I said. That was all I said. When Plaxico caught that, I go, oh, my God, is that a flag? Well, we'll see, though, because the Giants had one. You saw them winning in 86 and 90. Now, the Caps had never won a cup. I remember when the Bruins won the Stanley Cup.

That was another one. I couldn't believe it. Oh, I love Josh, by the way. I'm not trying to shit on Josh Attermire. I'm just saying he gave a fuck on a level that was another one i couldn't believe it oh i love josh by the way i'm not trying to shit on josh adam meyer i'm just saying he gave a fuck on a level that was so emotional that i don't think i'm attached to any of my team oh he has like a washington bullets fucking tattoo and shit or or what i always call the bullets that i still call the colts baltimore that's my old man shit oh yeah all right a saint right, a St. Louis Browns. I mean, the Orioles. Listen.

A Wizards. Dude, that should have shown you. That was foreshadowing as what was to come with all this overly sensitive horse shit that's out there right now when they had to start changing team names. Like the Bullets. I never thought that was violent. violent to me that was like number one with a bullet that was a uh an expression meaning we're rocking it up the chart to the top slot and bullet used to also be bullet used to also be a nickname for guys that were fast you know the guys like a bullet the guy runs like yeah so like uh you know they're gonna

i did you hear they're taking away the houston rockets because it promotes war because of rockets they are not no i'm kidding but uh okay i was gonna believe that if i have a second the fact that you even thought about it is a sad thing um it would it wouldn't uh there's a bunch there's a way to get offended by all of them the new england patriot uh white supremacist you know uh he the white the pat patriots why why is it a white guy no they're not saying that oh they're not saying that right no i'm saying you could do it with every one of them the The Giants. Well, what about little people? How does that make them feel?

I'm sure you have little people. And then the irony of them wearing a Giant shirt and they're walking around trying to hop up onto that seat and the bleachers, the Jets, global warming. Yeah. What about the Bears? The Bears. That's against animals.

Animals don't do that yeah until they taken out of those cages where they take their and liver juice or whatever the they do let's go around the league packers that's almost a gay slur right you gotta get minnesota vikings more raping white males. Pillaging, yeah. The buccaneers, the thieves. Seahawks, it's a fucking, it's actually a different kind of bird,

but it's a nickname. Hawk promote acting as though it's violent. It's not being violent, it's doing how nature made it. Falcons are endangered and this could promote hunting. Portland trailblazers? Trailblazers, really? More like genocide across the country. I don't know what the fucking knickerbocker is.

I was trying to do the Knicks. That almost sounds like the N-word. Get it out of here. Anything that resounds. Yeah. What else? Let's go through it. The Miami Dolphins. The New Jersey Nets. Nets. Oppressive. I mean, how many dolphins get caught in fishing nets every year? Do we need to be reminded of this? uh oh the new york mets metropolitan white city the opera privilege carolina panthers endangered cat again yankees name calling we're all american we're yeah hey how about the new york human beings

the only one i understand is the redskins it was so ridiculous how long the redskins lasted how long that that fucking lasted like they would be on espn and the redskins for that fucking life that was ridiculous what did they really think that the washington bullets were promoting violence like was that the devil raised they would they'd sounded too evil for all those fucking sweetheart white people down there in northern florida you know open-minded they are i think when jesus coming back he's going to fucking he's going to ybor city first for that fucking shit show hey bill did you see the ball did you see the gonzaga you got to see gonzaga play man they. What's their team name?

What is their team name? They're the Bulldogs. Oh, you know what? No. That used to be a wolf, and they bred it so its face is mushed in to bite another bull. Hello. Right?

You know the breathing problems that those mushed-in faces have? That's what I'm saying. It's terrible. Yes. And they made it for a mascot, not even for its feelings, Bill. Sleep apnea is not a joke. What's a Wolverine? Endangered. I'm running up the Spartans.

Violent. Violent. They used to take their babies and the weak ones, they would throw off the mountain. I think by the time we're like 80, it's going to be like the Michigan state yoga instructors against the Pilates people. The soda pops are playing. They don't have cheerleaders they just have a bunch of emaciated guys in yoga pants doing poses tree pose

oh is anything better than this episode we're talking good fellas we're talking sports we're talking shit oh we're talking is that that would be a funny sketch fast forward to like 2055 and you just see all the names different that would be hilarious man yeah uh hilarious if it wasn't but the redskins i i stand by that one i totally get that one that was like that was like a ridiculous thing the amount of people arguing that one. I totally get that one. That was like, that was like a ridiculous thing. The amount of people arguing that one was just like, it's just like, guys,

what, what, what are we doing here? Apply that to any other, you're just, you're just used to hearing it. Um, all right. We just got silent.

Is that the end? Paul, is that the end of our hang for this week? I got to go get some headshots done. No. Oh, I lost him again. Where have you gone, Paulie V? Paulie V, tell me where have you been, charming Paulie?

You went away on us. That's a nice. I did? Yeah, just for a second. That's a nice piece. Is that a Rolex you got? For half a second, I thought I was wearing a toupee. That's a nice piece.

Where'd you get that? Two bald guys. Billy's wigs don't come off. Dude, I want to do that. I'm going to grow this shit out on the side. We're going to have a bad wig. And I'm just going to go, Billy's wigs don't come off. that. I'm going to grow this shit out on the side. We have a bad wig and I'm just go, Billy's wigs don't come off and jump in the pool.

I should have done that to promote the fucking toy. That would have been great. Listen, dude, the next time I see you in Los Angeles, you are putting a fake piece on and jumping in your pool backwards. Billy's wigs don't come off. I'll bring my, i was gonna say i i gotta go hit on a chick but i'm married what i gotta just go walk up to some woman in the prime of her life with that fucking crooked thing on and just be totally what do you say that doll face

fucking old school shit. Oh, shit. Hey, when I come out to LA. Come over here and split a sarsaparilla with me. Sorry. When I come out to LA, we're doing this in a studio. Oh, yeah. We're going to have some pickles on the wall.

Oh, yeah. Why are you talking, Paul? You're saying you're coming out. I don't know when. You don't drink, though. Paul, I don't do anything. I'm straight edge now. Oh, the disgust in your face.

What happened? What happened to you, Bill? I just got to figure some shit out and i gotta be sober to do it i love how you just looked and actually did for a second you did go what did happen to me something you just know i know what happened to me i spent fucking 30 years running from the first 20 years of my life so i i get i get fucked up to avoid those feelings. So I need to deal with those feelings so I can then come back to getting fucked up for the right reasons. Oh, yeah. Uncle Paul is bringing blue label. Yeah. I want to get fucked up because I am in a good mood.

I feel like feeling a little better. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't want to I don't want to be getting fucked up for the wrong reason there. up for uh the wrong reason there funny is there anything better than you picking me up at the airport with me having johnny blue in one hand and a fucking rack of cubans in the other a rack of cubans i love that uh all right guys this has been episode 10 anything better again like and subscribe also check out the monday morning podcast the burzi effect our youtube channels all the stuff across the board support all things comedy and the great producer that's right billy needs a toupee come on andrew femless the other side of the glass the other side of the country i never get to see him um guys this is what do you got next

to what do you have next we have florida state what do you got uh you're gone oh what am i performing yeah no oh what gonzaga who are they playing oh i think they're playing creighton oh jesus christ could they have an easier schedule kidding what are you talking no uh oh guys i'm fucking with you. I'm sorry. Bill, I'm sure you're going somewhere too. April 1st through 3rd. You guys aren't going to get this.

I'm in Florida now. April 1st through 3rd. I'll be in Oklahoma City for the first time ever at Bricktown Comedy Club, April 1st through 3rd. By the way, KD and James Harden played on the same team then too. Yeah. Yeah. With them.

Yep. And they're reunited and it feels so good. And Westbrook. And Westbrook. Reunited and understood. If you take all the stars and put them on one team, then what the fuck are we watching for? Oh, sorry.

All right. I'll tell you what, though. We could end with this. My New York football giants are making moves. Okay? Big, big moves. We are a team to be reckoned with. I will just leave it there.

And I'm excited. We'll see. Now, all of a sudden, you sign a bunch of free agents and all of a sudden it's a good thing paul verzi all over the bars not stars not stars just making good moves now you're backing it down our biggest question mark is the quarterback from duke as much as i hate to say that i like you mean the guy who fell down yeah he was running and he just fucking i don't know what happened yeah he was it's like he got tased do you know how far back that set the white athlete that hurt me to watch that almost as bad as the white guy who dunked and flipped and remember i go bill you're gonna you just go oh

no he he just dunked and tried to put, and he ended up flipping and falling. He tried to do a chin up. It was like, yeah, his body. He tried to do something a black guy could do in the eighth grade. He tried to do that. It looked like he got shot in the mouth. A white guy. Oh, it's the worst.

Me and Paul have been saying that forever. Go to a game. We have money on the game. And he just watched the game. Fucking white guy. No, what was he doing out there? Yeah his son get him out of there that's what what uh gamblers do they count the guys they go white two three white guys there that's how they make the spreads so they're throwing the game here dude what is with white new york quarterback

setting white people back the butt fumble, that fucking guy tripping over the fucking three yard line. Yeah. Why it's, it's just such an ungraceful, you know, like who's like, who's the most athletic white quarterback in history. Would you say it would be Steve Young's up there? I would say Steve Young is up there. Oh, that was a disaster. Oh, come on. He had fun.

He's allowed to do what he wants with his money. Oh, of course. But I'm saying like, you know, he beat Alabama in Alabama. So all these people acting like he's a fucking loser. Anything in your life ever come close to going to Alabama and beating Alabama in Alabama? He does always have that. He has, dude, he has that in spades, man. Fuck that. He's going to have to tell that story until he's 80 because that's all he's got. Dude, that story shuts all my stories down. Yeah, that's true. He's going to be hammered

at some Christmas party at 76 talking to people. Dude, if I was him, anybody gives me any shit, I'd be at beat Alabama in Alabama. What do you got? Got a million dollars, blew it in Vegas in two weekends. Yeah, I know. You're going to go see a Hollywood movie. You're going to talk to me because I lived it. movie you're gonna talk to me because i lived it it was uh i got one for you only one white guy dunked the contest and you're having a beer with him that's a great one let's let's let's end this i gotta go i gotta go i gotta get all dolled up here oh well i hope you look don't come off i hope you look handsome wear a tie oh i'm gonna try to look respectable

see you guys next week thank you guys for tuning in