Anything Better? - In The Tent | Week 11 NFL Preview & Picks

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

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What's up, everybody, and welcome back to the Anything Better podcast show, NFL edition for week number 11. Guys, I mean, anyway, let's just get into the show here. I'm Paul Versey. That's Bill Burr. We have Jake the Snake, our injury report guy, as always. And, of course, Andrew Thames, the Greek freak out there in Beverly Hills. Dude, another week of, I mean, Bill, first of all, Bill Burr, everybody, I mean, he gives credit where credits do.

I give credit where credits do. Six weeks in a row, this man, I think, has gone, his worst in the last six weeks was two and two once. Now he is above 500, another three in one week, where yours truly another one in three week because Miami Dolphins decided to save their coach. his job. I mean, what the fuck happened, dude? What happened? I mean, dude, a chimpanzee could throw darts at a board and pick better than me right now.

Dude, the only reason why I took the dolphins because everybody said the bills, and I just did something about the dolphins. They're good for one of those a year. One of those a year, they used to beat the Patriots. Every time we go down there, even during the Belichick Brady years, I said this last week. So that's the reason why I took them. I didn't know anything. I just, I was just

Justin, Paul. Dude, I feel like the Giants coach table that just got fired where every week I'm going, got to get better. Just got to get better. I got to figure this out. Look, you know, all we can do is learn from what we have been doing right and, you know, just try to get better. Is there anything funnier than a coach on the hot seat, knowing his job is on the line, just looking at reporters, just going like, yeah, got to get better, go look at tape, we're going to look at film. We're going to look at film. He's like, I'm not going to be looking at film that much. Little things, little things become big things at the end of the game. We just do the little things that redos their job.

But, you know, I did see some good things today. I saw some good things. The Giants fired their coach, of course, everybody knows. And look, I got to be honest with you. You want to say a dude I called it. I'm in a group text with a couple buddies and they all go, dude, you call it. I watched the game.

The Giants had another double-digit lead in the fourth quarter with under five minutes. And I literally looked at my buddy. I go, if they lose this game, he is not going to see tomorrow as the Giants head coach because it's too many times. And sure enough, it was just like another blown lead late in the fourth. And but you know when I knew he was done, Bill? You know what I knew he was done when he got fined the $100,000 for like going in the tent? The desperation of him going in the tent when Jackson Dart was there. He's going to, is he ready?

Is he coming out? Is he? And he like poked his head in and they go like, dude, you can't do that. like he was so desperate for his job that he's like it's fourth down the head coach can't go in the concussion tent oh he can't no like he went like he was like panicking because it was coming up on fourth down and dude he ran over there poked his head in he looked so desperate and nuts that it was just like all right you know what is nuts remember how weird the tent was that they went in there and no one could see like what the fuck are they doing in there now it's just normal yeah

that is weird like what are they doing in there Well, I think with a concussion, you know, the nerdy guy in the suit goes in and they look at, you know, they just, I guess, look and see, but they don't want the crowd to know that the guy got a concussion and now the crowd knows about the CTE and the awful quality of life. These players, most of them end up with that the owners only gave him $700 each for their service. Yeah. Dude, think about the 90. You know what, Paul, it's a metaphor, the concussion. the concussion tent. There's one in every business.

Yeah. Yeah. That'd be funny. That'd be funny if there was just a literal tent. A corporate guy loses a ton of money on the stock market. He's like, how do they bring him in the fucking tent to doctor? Get him in a second.

No, he gets busted inside of trading. And then the piece of shit that paid him sticking his head in, is he ready? Can he come back out? Is he still suspended? is he taking the fall he didn't say my name did he a tent falls over his cubicle yeah you hit on his chick in a bar you just get shot down too many times and they just fucking put tent over dude i don't what's going on with you how do you open with the line like

that you know it's okay if you're gay like i don't know what's going on here but like i i've never seen like this is shooting fish in a barrel these these women are desperate his buddy that needed a wingman because he thought he was going to get late's poking his head in the tent is he All right? Is he coming out? How many women do you see? How many women do you see over there in the quarter? Three?

Three? I don't know. I want to get another drink. Let me get another drink. You're either drinking kamikazis or you're hitting on women. You can't do both. It's guaranteed. That's great.

All right, guys, before we get into our week 11 picks, before we get into our week 11 picks, we've got a shout at our sponsor. It's bad MGM, guys. You know who it is. betmgm the best book the best lines out there uh and if you want to join betmgm and be a part of the anything better podcast here with our picks uh all you got to do is get your device here and you download the betmgm app and you use our code our code is burr b you are r it's very simple all you got to do is put as little as $10 in the account and make your first bet if you lose that bet uh you will get

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Bet responsibly. And what could I say? I'm going on week 11 here and I'm losing. So we'll go with Bill right now because Bill is a buck. above 500. And before that, guys, before we do this pick, we got to bring in our, you know who we love to bring in. His name is Jake the Snake. He is our update guy. He is our injury guy. Oh, there. We missed it. Oh, in his blog, he writes every week about the previous week. It's my favorite text message I get of the week. He does his homework. He gives us a

little report. We missed you last week. He's a playboy at night, but during the day when he watches the games, this man sees things that other people miss. what do you got jake it's uh real quick it's funny because you guys talking about the the tent for the for the picking up uh chicks at the bar there's all kinds of videos of like people doing something similar whether they're like they'll have uh they'll uh call to the bullpen or they'll like have a headset on and they'll like call and they'll be like what kind of play is that no get them out of there get them out of there so that doesn't mind of you guys um i do miss that being single striking out with chicks was fucking let's

you found the humor in it, dude, it was fucking hilarious. All right. So what are you got? People coming back, people going away. What's going on? Yeah, so I'll provide some updates with the quarterbacks. CJ's shrouded in this last week with the concussion. It looks like he'll be back for this week's game against the Titans.

We talked about the Giants a little, or you guys were talking about the Giants a little bit. Jackson Dart's probably going to be out this week against the Packers. This is the fourth time he's been evaluated for, Cushing this year, so they really want to probably take it easy on him. I sent us to the chat, but Jamis Winston is going to start this week over Russell Wilson. They seem to be really done with him over there.

Tyler Murray is going to be out for a while. They placed him on IR, so that's going to be at least four weeks with a foot injury. But Jacoby Brissette, the old Patriots backups looking good out there. He's going to keep starting for the Cardinals. Brock Birdie, though, is expected to come back. He has a turf toe injury. So this is going to be the first week. He'll be back.

So that's exciting for Niners fans. And then we got a positive Joe Burrow update. He won't be back this week, but he's finally practicing, and he'll be back by Thanksgiving. I thought he was going to come back this week. That's awesome, though. Yeah, so we got some guys back. And then, yeah, we can kind of keep going as you guys make your picks for sure if you have any questions. But, yeah, it was kind of a big ones.

You know what? ESPN has Adam Schifter. anything better has Jake the fucking snake. Okay? That's as good of a report as you're going to get. Bill, it is week 11. It is an odd week, which means you, my friend, are on the clock. Well, you know what, Paul?

I'm an odd guy. Well, you know, I've been fucking running my yap about my Thursday night theory about a division rival Thursday night game. If the dog is getting more than five and a half points, take the dog and wouldn't you know it this week my new england patriots are favored by 13 paul against the same division new york jets who got their first their second win last week against the browns it's the only game i lost last week and i got to stick with it i got to dance with what brung me the last couple of weeks i'm going to take the jets getting 13 points on thursday night

i just think you know simple game plans paul simple grable's a better coach but only four days to prepare. I just think, yeah, 13's a ton of fucking points, and I'm going to take the Jets. Well, you took my... No, get in 13, sorry. You took my first pick, and I love the pick, because I was going to take it.

Look, I don't know... Tear up the tickets. Tear up the tickets. Still. So... He gets... Too much better horse. Tear up the tickets.

He took the fucking horse. Dude, look, I don't know what's gotten into the dolphins. The dolphins, they're bad, but they, I mean, how do they beat the bills coming off the bills by week, right? I got a theory. I got a theory. Please. Because what happens is when they know the coach is gone, that's sort of a foregone conclusion. Then all of a sudden the players start worrying that they're gone.

So after they quit from the coach, on the coach, then there's this like, well, I don't want to get, I don't want to get ax, too. I don't want to be part when somebody comes in and cleans the house. So once they get rid of their coach, then they start fucking playing again. Well, look. Although he's still there. So that was a stupid thing. I should just shut up as usual. Sorry.

Go ahead. The dolphins beat the bills. They have a low line and their home. Jade and Daniels is out. What's that? They're in Spain. Yeah. Oh, they're in Spain. Okay. Why would you do that to Spain?

Why would you send these two fucking awful teams? Are they trying to go global, or are we trying to start another war? When this game got announced. You got the lions playing the Eagles. Send that to Spain if you want to fucking get people. You don't send them the fucking Cowboys Raiders game or the game and his dolphins. They should put the blue tent over Spain. You'd be like, no, no, no, we got another, get another team in here.

Get two other teams in here. We need to go over and be like, this isn't what it usually looks like. I'm going to take the Miami Dolphins to try to save this guy's job. I don't know if it's saveable, but you know what? The commanders are just in bad shape. The Dolphins got to be feeling good in the facility this week after beating the bills. And it's under a field goal. I think both teams are bad, but I think now the dolphins have the better quarterback in this matchup.

It's still Tua, right? It's still Tua. Yep, still too. I'm going to, I know this is just nuts, but I like the line under three, and I think both teams are bad, but I'm going to go with the team that's, I guess, feeling a little better than the other one this week. So I got the Miami Dolphins. All right. Seahawks won big last week

that coming down to Los Angeles to play the Rams. I just think the Rams always seem to have their number down there. I'm taking the Rams minus three. Going with the favorite, Pauley. You know, a little red, little black on the roulette wheel. What do I care? I'm over here wearing a fucking

cheap suit. I mean, who are you? We're wearing a fucking mom matching sweatpants fucking outfit here? That'll be one of my picks too. Jesus, Paul, you are fucking in between your ears. You didn't say one fucking, you're just fucking looking down on your paper.

It looks like you're taking your SATs and you know you're not going to college. But you've got to fill in a few more before the lady goes, all right, that's it. Paul, it's it. It's over. Because, you know, my, Bill, you remember that, remember that video we saw of the guy watching horses? Go on, come on, come on, come on. He goes, she lost. That she won.

She lost. That's right. No, I like this guy. And he goes, come on. The worst, the darkest part of that thing is not him shirtless with his jeans and his muffin top. It's when he's just staring before, as the race is going, this is so bad, this is so stupid. I should. I mean, it's really like, it's heartbreaking.

That addiction, at least on drugs, you're like, you don't even. fucking remember what you do it but like as a as a gambler um just wide awake no anesthetic just fucking losing your paycheck but gamble on these games everybody sorry well here's the deal what is my message here yeah message is Andrew you know where to cut that right um i'm gonna take the 40 you got to give the people the truth you know what you're doing is stupid so fucking don't get real stupid oh well we always tell him that. Yeah. Have fun. Have fun. That's all you have to do, Paul. Gamble responsibly, drink responsibly, do smack responsibly. Well, everything. Eat responsibly. Have two cookies.

Don't have the sleeve. Well, they put it on you. They put it on you after they fuck you. Okay? Take away all your benefits and you come home and you got a whole fucking liquor cabinet and you've been treated like shit all day. Then it's on you. to fucking drink responsibly so then you can beat you then it's still your fucking fault maybe if there's less cunts in the world there'd be less pain and people wouldn't have to fucking medicate with this shit

all right let's let's keep going here Paul so Paul what do you like next I'm going to take the 49ers minus two and a half you're motherfucker I love that game well you took my jets fair enough

I'm going to take the 49ers because Brock Purdy's coming back, and I think they're going to be juiced up that he's back. And Kyler Murray is out for the Cardinals. Yeah, I just think the 49ers are going to, they're getting their captain back. I think that the line being under three, again, another line under three. So I'm going to take them. All right.

I like that pick, dude. And that kind of fucked me here because I was seeing things. I was seeing things. dude what the fuck are the panthers what are they what are they does anybody know no they're they're five and five and five and they're like yeah that's that's that's like dating a stripper i know enough to stay out of the fucking nfc south if i've learned anything although i don't i yeah i still in my mind the 49ers are in the nfc south but they used to be in the west and with the falcons so i that still fucks me up i had this poster paul on my wall when there was only 28 teams the

I thought, Paul, if you don't stop looking at your fucking paper. If you don't have the answers by November 13th. I'm turning around. All you can do is get better. Phil, I'm looking at film. I'm looking at film.

Oh, man, there's not a lot of meat on the bone after you took that fucking 49. this game, Paul. Great pick. I'm going to take the Giants. I'm kidding. I am going to take, dude, fuck the Ravens. I don't give a shit what they did last week. Those fucking assholes.

I always lose when I bet them. Oh, my God. I'm going to take old twinkle toes out there in Kansas City, minus four playing the Broncos. This is their time of year. Travis is going to stomp around. The mere cat's going to start

showing up to the games going, oh, God, Travis. And they're just going to fucking gear up that whole medium machine. Flags are in the pockets, Paul. In the pockets. Hold in defense.

I didn't see anything. As he runs by with the ball, sticking it out. Hey, talk about who's the Milwaukee? Who's the Bucs? Who are the Tampa Bay Buccaneers now? What happened to them? You know what, Paul?

You and Baker Mayfield have the exact same beard. And I think there's a little synergy going on there. Which is? Paul, you're a fucking winner. Okay. I like it. Baker Mayfield is a fucking winner. You heard that guy's fucking story.

He played for Texas Tech. He wins five games. They still don't make him the starter. Him and his mom drive up to Norman, Oklahoma. They can't get on the team. He just enrols as a fucking student. He walks on, walks on, and wins the Heisman Trophy. He's played for the Brown.

That's crazy. Played for the Rams. That's okay. He played for the Buccanez. This guy has played for perennial fucking losers, and the man wins. Yeah. And now he's going in there with Buffalo. And all they got is chicken wings, Paul.

That's all they got. They got chicken wings and they got Lake Effect Snow and they have an AFL title when JFK was still alive. How do you like that? Here's my Jake the Snake report. All right. Well, from my next pick. Paul, what are you more excited about? Going to Tampa or going to Buffalo?

I mean, I love the people of Buffalo, but Tampa. But Tampa. Come on. It's got the great weather. That's where Scientology starts. You can get yourself a cigar down in Ybor City. Great comedy. You can go down there and feel like you're in good shape.

You go out there, look at those people in Buffalo. They're not breaking tables. They're trying to kill themselves. You'll still feel like we're in good shape there. I actually tell you, I do love Buffalo, and they have one of the best fucking minor league baseball stadiums you ever seen that thing you ever take a walk paul take a fucking walk next time i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna take oh you are fading away why oh i don't blurry what kind what kind when this podcast is over yeah when this podcast is

it's an opal one it's a good one but i didn't i didn't set it right i'm going to a best by get a new one because i got to get a microphone court anyway i like i'm going to best by i'm gonna take i'm going to go head to head with Bill. I'm going to take the Denver Broncos getting four at home against the Chiefs. The Chiefs are not, the Chiefs are good, but we'll, we'll see. I like the four points in Denver at home. That line was four and a half before it moved to four. So maybe something, maybe something. You know what's crazy, guys? The Chiefs are not in the playoffs as of today. So they, this is a pretty big game. That is November. That is November. It's a show. It's a show. It's the fucking show.

They're not going to, they got to have the prong king and queen there. They got to do it. They got to do it. Listen, I will give it to the NFL. They listened to the fans. They knew we were sick of the fucking preferential treatment. They called off the dogs in the Super Bowl.

And they waited for the ravens and the bills. They waited five weeks for one of them to step up and start dating a pop star and winning games and nobody did it. So they got a ride with the Chiefs. I think the hankies go away. The hate starts up again, and it's just, I don't know. It's going to be a great game. Bill's got one more pick, right?

Yes. Yeah, I do. Who does the Bengals have his quarterback? Still Joe Flacco. Yeah, I'll take Joe Flacko in five and a half points, division rivalry against the Steelers. I do love Aaron Rogers, though. They're at home.

These games, I don't know, they're always close. Black and Blue Division. No, to your point, I don't get why the Steelers are just big favorites. They got smacked on the Sunday night football. So it's kind of an interesting line. And that line just dropped a point this morning or last night, too. That was Bengals were getting six and a half. Wow.

I don't like that. That was probably a stupid pick. But you know what, Paul? I'm a summer school kid. I do stupid things. Hey, Andrew, why does the Texans line and the Titans line have six and six and a half? Why is it different? That is a typo.

So what's the line? I'm going to. Hey, Paul, guess what? Everybody missed that but you. Everybody missed that but you, Paul. You're seeing it. That's your first little fucking bloop single. Get him out of the slump.

Come on, Paul. Six and a half. Just get a runner on. Just get a runner-on. Paul, just try to make contact. That line, that line moved half the point, too. That's why it was a half a line down. So what is it?

What kind of fucking assholes are betting this early in the week, unless you're going with fucking. It's a great point. The look-ahed lines on Monday. I mean, there's pre-season odds. Yeah, they have lines on these. Maybe that's the move, because the lines are bigger earlier in the week. Maybe you want to get in there.

You want to be the guy that. moves the line. I don't know. Dude, what's going on with the Chicago Bears being six and three, too? That's nuts. That is a big game, but it's a way Minnesota needs it. Dude, I'm going to take, I'm going to take Baker Mayfield and the Buccaneers getting five and a half points. Oh, Baker. Baker Verzee. I see the bills winning this game by three. So I'm going to take the points, and I got two favorites. I got two dogs.

Let's see what happens. I hate this week. That's why I'm staring at it. Like I'm trying to crack a code. But that's it. That's where I'm at. Also, all right, and then the Monday night special. Paul, I just can't get above 500. I've never been able to do it.

You're right there? You're at that now? Since I had kids, I just, every time I come up for air, the book just fucking pushes my goddamn skull back under. The beluga whale. We have our games here. All right. I got to get rolling here, man.

So let's, let's, I got to go to work. So let's fucking knock this out here. All right. Look at these games. We got the Cowboys and Raiders in the Monday night game. Oh, that Lion's Eagle Sunday night. They're not doing two Monday night games. No.

Two Monday night. The Sunday night versus the Monday night. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. You got to sing their song, Bill. Oh, fuck. Let the Monday Night Special win some money for you. Let the Monday Night Special win some fucking money for you. Paulie, oh my God.

What do you like? You like good guys versus the bad guys. Yeah. Let's go with the bad guys. Do you know one of my favorite Monday Night games growing up, Lala Al Zado and the Raiders were coming in. And, you know, the Cowboys were called America's team back then, and they were all clean cut and all of this stuff.

They had the beautiful cheerleaders and all that. And the Raiders came in looking like a motorcycle gang. And they just took that on that whole identity. Like they wanted to go in there and just fuck up something nice, like La La Al Zado, because his dad didn't hug him. And they came in and they kicked the Cowboys ass. It was fucking great. I loved those Raiders teams back then.

And also, Lai Lozado, he was the shit. All right, Cowboys Raiders, Paul. Cowboys lay in three and a half as the favorites. Going in there. Sneaky Pete, better coach. Yep. Cowboys not good this year. I'll take the Raiders. I'll take Pete Carroll. Taking the points. Dude, but the Cowboys just got such a better quarterback. Yeah.

Meaning, I don't know who the Raiders quarterback is. Gino Smith. Who is it? Mark Wilson. Chino Smith. Gino Smith. He's no. He'll leave in turnovers. you know jino he's a generous guy you know sneaky you know sneaky peat on a under the lights though

you know sneaky pete knows he's on tv i think yeah i like you guys this thing to take the raiders to cover i think i think that's i'm the yeah i like the raiders to cover because i because i think people are like thinking the cowboy's gonna go in i don't you know how do you how do you keep your team under wraps paul paul you're the new coach of the giants you're playing the fucking vegas raiders how do you keep how do you make him make curfew i know i know i know god you can't fuck with Vegas when it comes to horse right like what are the horiest cities both you know if you had to rank i have Vegas Miami I thought of Miami too yeah Vegas Mike they're not hoars are they just fucking beautiful

women that you want to bang yeah that don't even see you really old face all right let's let's get out of here all right let's take the cowboys no let's take the let's take the Raiders let's do our classic we'll take the Raiders then we'll take

we'll take Zach to throw one and CD Lamb to catch one oh my God CD Lamb is back CD Lamb is back I actually like that yeah we have to take Lamb to catch one back back good again um you can take the raiders running back uh janty to score one as well he's great all right let's do that and we'll do lamb to throw one and we'll take the points no lamb to catch

once yeah lamb to catch one running back of the raiders to get one and then we'll take the points three and a half i like that just out of curiosity what is the line for lamb to throw one on the option oh dude that's got to be like hey that's big money Dude, that's one of those bets. You hit that bet. You make the news. Watch, we don't take that and he does it to win the game. That's when I quit the show.

That's when I go, guys, guys. That's when you, Paul, you get quiet. I say what to fucking throw shit. Paul gets quiet. When Paul loses, he gets quiet. How funny when you just had happened and you just saw Stacey here for next week's show? She's like, what's up, everybody? Paul is resting.

Paul is resting. He wants to know. He wants all you guys to know that you. He loves you guys. Paul's in the tent. You see what I did there? I put a fucking bow on it. That's our show, everybody.

Check me out at Levity Live on Thanksgiving Eve. I'll be at the Edmont Town Hall, December 12th in Newtown, Connecticut. For more dates, go to Paul Versey. Stay out of the tent this week. Hey, I'm going to be at the whiskey. The whiskey of go-go on sunset. i'm doing stand-up they always wanted to perform them doing it monday night oh nice it's gonna be old freckles is gonna shake the rust off taking off these acting clothes getting back out

doing what i'm supposed to be doing paul i'm just picturing that concussion tent on just your half of the bed is fucking hilarious stacy's shaking the tent the morning paul you want some breakfast no good all right i'm gonna go get some breakfast i gotta get my fucking shit we'll see you next week take care all right see you guys thanks for watching