Anything Better? - March Madness Brackets!

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

Bill & Paul use their expertise to carefully construct brackets based on name and location association.  

what's up everybody and welcome back to the anything better podcast with your host myself paul bursey phil burr and our producer the greek freak andrew themless and you guys listening to to this is actually the first bet mgm edition we are doing for march madness it's that time of year everybody it's that time of year it's. It's that time of year. It's that bracket buster type of year. Not type of year, kind of year. You know what I mean. What's the word, Bill? Time of year.

Time of year. There we go. Time of year. Time of year for March Madness basketball. It's that time of year. By the way, the UNC Tar Heels, I hate to start off on a negative note, first time ever that a team has started as a number one seed

and not making the tournament. It's kind of a rough go out there in Tar Heels. Oh, the Powder Blues not having a good time, Billy. What do you mean? How are they a number one seed? They were the number one seed going into the year as far as recruits and ranking, I believe. Their ranking was so high, and it's the first time that that's happened, and they didn't make the tournament. I got to tell you, that's sad.

Oof, somebody's job. That's a legendary program. Yo, somebody's getting a call into an office today. I'll tell you, there's some people happy at Duke and NC State. I can tell you that. As you guys know by now, we have teamed up with BetMGM this season. Every season, we're using the BetMGM lines to make all of our picks, and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week. BetMGM is now live in Massachusetts, your neck of the woods. Oh, boy.

Your neck of the woods. Fucking water town. Bobblehead. Come on, put a parlay in, kid. It's legal. If you haven't signed up to BetMGM yet, use bonus code Burr. Oh, river. B-U-R-R. And you will get up to 1,000 in your first bet.

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You deposit as little as 10 bucks for your first bet wager on any game. You'll receive up to a thousand in bonus bets. If you lose, just make sure you use bonus code B-U-R-R. And that's it. Just like with the football, everybody, but it is now legal in Massachusetts. And guys, like we always say on the show, bet responsibly. The way you drink responsibly bet responsibly play around have a good time and don't get crazy we always tell our don't jeopardize your future just have a fun weekend yes that's it a fun weekend throw 10 here 20 there you win you double you know you have a little fun you know um here we go bill

it's bracket time and uh I don't know much. I don't know much except that I know I love you. What is wrong with my voice? I'm not fucking smoking. I don't have a cold. Am I dying? No, God forbid. I don't know.

Jesus, Paul. But I know that. Oh, the number one team in the nation is houston houston i believe yeah i got some fucking shit for you in that bracket oh bill houston is 31 and three yeah 31 and three all right i will take alabama over Alabama over either Texas A&M or the play-in, whoever that is. I'm going to take Alabama. I'm going to take West Virginia, the 9 seed, over Maryland.

I am going to take San Diego State over Charleston. I'm going to take Virginia, the 4 seed, over Furman. I'm going to take NC State the 4th seed, over Furman. I'm going to take NC State Wolfpack over Creighton. I'm going to take Baylor over Santa Barbara. I'm going to take Missouri over Utah. And I'm going to take the Arizona Wildcats over the 15th seed, Princeton. All right. I got some similarities there right i'm obviously taking alabama alabama the dream does not end tonight i say that they win that game handily

i don't know there's something about that 18 seed i just don't think they have it this year uh i'm gonna go maryland whoa just because well i mean they're fucking hc yeah you know what i also still get sad when i think about maryland and len bias so i want them to have a good year uh my upset in this bracket is this sleeper 31 and 3 charleston whoever the fuck they are playing san diego state paul the weather's just it's just too goddamn nice down there in san diego i don't think these kids are focused charleston they're out there they're dancing right charleston charleston i'm taking them over the san diego state fucking uh who's the muwatsas whale vaginas um i got virginia over firman um i'm gonna take the

nc state wolf pack also paul because i i did two semesters there back in 87 88 um baylor over santa barbara you know those rich kids you know a bunch of rich white kids out in santa barbara I just don't see them doing anything. Yeah. The one black kid on the team knows Oprah Winfrey. I know I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I know that's not what it is.

I'm just naming residents out there. Let's see. I'll take Utah State, right? Take the Utes? I'm taking the Utes. You know, these kids are young. They don't have 52 wives yet out in Utah. I think Missouri. I don't know. They're always getting flooded out there.

I'm going to take Arizona over the Smarty Pants, Princeton. The Princeton, what would they be? Compasses? Princeton Tigers. Princeton Tigers. Princeton Tigers. Okay. All right, so now we move to the Midwest. We move to the Midwest.

Are you ready, Andrew? Oh, you're going over that way. Yeah, we took a little short flight. I like the routing on this, Paul. I will tell you that east to west is going to suck, though. I got to go with the number one team in the nation, 31 and three. I got to take the Houston Cougars over northern Kentucky. I will take, you know what? I'll take Auburn. I'll take Auburn over Iowa. Ooh, the Duke Blue Devils just won the ACC, and they won three big ones in a row, and they're dogs.

First year without Coach K in the tournament, I'm going to take Duke to show that they're still there. Wait, is that Duke? No, that's Drake. That's Drake. I just wanted to hear how long it was going to take you to realize. Oh, Jesus. You going to go Drake, Paul?

No, I'm not. The emotional rapper from Toronto? No, dude. My eyes are going, dude. I don't know how an R and an A looked like a U. I'm going to go Miami Hurricanes. I don't know how I got Duke from that. I will take Indiana.

I will take Mississippi. I will take, I take Mississippi state over Iowa state. I'm going to take Xavier. Mississippi state slash Pittsburgh. What the fuck does that mean? I think that means that it's a play in. So they play each other to see who plays them. So I'm going Xavier. Yeah,

I'm going Xavier and Mississippi state Xavier. I'm going Xavier. Yeah, I'm going Xavier and Mississippi State, Xavier. I'm going to go Texas A&M over Penn State. Penn State's a football school. And then I will do the Texas Longhorns over Colgate. Okay. All right. Northern Kentucky, Paul. And the God god damn it that's a basketball state Houston has a bunch of fatties in there that come floating over to fucking that guy's uh basketball arena where he does the Jesus talks I'm still gonna go Houston um I'm gonna go Iowa because I had such a great time in Des Moines this year um I can't stand Drake you know he's just too goddamn emotional he makes me confront too many emotions I'm not ready for so I'm gonna go Miami you know I figure they got that cocaine money

down there they can beat a 12 seed right oh and then look who we got we got indiana paul the indiana hoosiers right i'm gonna take them i did their school early last year they gave me this great fucking warm-up just the official one paul that a freckle pasty son of a bitch like me would wear that's beautiful i'm gonna take iowa state um xavier kansas state all right i'll take Beautiful. I'm going to take Iowa State. Xavier. Kansas State. All right, I'll take Xavier. It's funny, Paul.

You said fucking Penn State is a football school. So is Texas A&M. So I'm going to take Penn State because they treated me right when I went to a game out there. I got a lot of this. I'm betting emotionally here, Paul. And Colgate. I'm a Crest guy, Paul. I never was into the Colgate. I like barbecue. I'm going to go Texas.

I'm going to go Texas, Paul. You know what would be amazing? If Bill's shirt today was an omen and the Indiana Hoosiers went to the Final Four and we looked back at this going, he knew. I'm picking the Final Four. Spoiler alert.

Now we're down to the east. Took a short flight down to the east. back at this going. I'm picking him for Final Four. I'm picking him for Final Four. Spoiler alert. All right, here we go. Now we're down to the east. Took a short flight down to the east. Here we go. We got Purdue versus Texas Southern or Fairleigh Dickinson. I performed at Fairleigh Dickinson once. I got to go number one, Purdue, 29-5. I don't think they get upset in the first round.

I'm going to take Memphis. Uh, and I believe Penny Hardaway, Anthony Hardaway is coaching Memphis still. I believe if he didn't get fired, I think he's still there, but I'm gonna take Memphis. Uh, oh yeah. I've got to take Duke over oral Roberts. That's I mean, how's one guy going to beat Duke? Some of these schools do it. It's just like some guy's name. Fairleigh Dickinson sounds like some fucking author of some book you had to read in high school.

Today we're reading The Horse and the Coach by Fairleigh Dickinson. Dude, Oral Roberts, that's such a great, that's so great. He makes popcorn. Yeah, so I got Duke over Oral Roberts. I'm going to take Tennessee over Louisiana. Got to take Kentucky. It's Lucas's favorite team. I'm going to take Kentucky over Providence.

Kansas State over Montana. How about this? Here's my upset in this bracket. USC over Michigan State Spartans. here's my upset in this bracket USC over Michigan State Spartans and then I'm gonna take Marquette over

Vermont hey where the fuck is Kansas they're not in the bracket they're no they're yeah no they're in the other the last one oh they're in this one all right this is kansas state the other one's kansas where was kansas i picked them right no no we didn't get there yet they're in the next group they're in the next group oh

i was feeling like this was the last one my fault we're in the east we're in the east all right i'm gonna take purdue over Farley Dickinson or Texas Southern. You got the church and you have an author. I just don't see them beating Purdue. Memphis versus Florida Atlantic. Now, God damn it, Florida Atlantic, how do you walk away, look the other way with 31 wins? I'm going to take Florida Atlantic.

All right, I think John Morant owns Memphis not the Memphis oh that's the one John Calipari he went down there and he was just giving transams away Paul all of a sudden he turned that program around didn't he the Duke Blue Devils over Orville Rickenbacker

and I'm going to Tennessee I love Tennessee. Kentucky over Providence. They're both 21 and 11. I'm a New England guy, Paul. I'm going to say a shocker. A shocker. All right?

The Providence fucking 95 Southerns are going to beat the Kentucky Wildcats. It's the fucking stupidest thing I've ever said to beat the Kentucky Wildcats. It's the fucking stupidest thing I've ever said. I like that pick. Kansas State's going to beat Montana State. Enough with the fucking... What the fuck do they call it? The whack?

They got a great quarterback in the Buffalo Bills. I just don't see them beating Kansas State. There's no way that... God doesn't like that part of the country enough. I don't care what Kevin Costner says. All right. Michigan State, USC. I got Michigan State on that one. I went to a game last week. I saw USC. I had a great time watching those kids. They played a little sloppy or a little careless with the ball. The only college game i saw this year and um marquette vert for first vermont i already did my i already picked a new england team so i'm gonna go marquette

i think josh allen went to wyoming didn't he but whatever all right here we go i mean mountain west oh all right here we go montana wy I mean, what are we doing here, Paul? Yes, exactly. They're still out there fucking, I don't know. Fly fishing. Kind of for gold out there. All right. I'm going to take the Kansas Jayhawks.

Right? Jayhawks or Jaybirds? Jayhawks. Jayhawks, you motherfucker. I'm going to take. They're gingers too. They're gingerbirds. I think I'm going to take. They're gingers, too. They're ginger birds. I think I'm going to take Kansas.

I'm going to take Arkansas over Illinois. Paul, you going to tell us why? I'm going to. No, I don't know. But I'll tell you what. I am going to go with the upset of St. Mary's over VCU. Keep doing my thing. I don't fucking like schools that are just named after a guy like Howard.

Oh, actually, they're actually their favorite. But I'm going to take St. Mary's over VCU. I have to take UConn. It's so close to my house. And, you know, I'm taking the kids there for a game. I love the honesty of these picks. I got to take UConn. They're so close to my house.

Nothing about basketball. My father, my father, his alma mater is Iona, and there's bricks. You know what? No, I can't do that. I got to take, as much as I want to take Iona, I got to go UConn. I'm going to take the TCU Frogs over Arizona State or Nevada. You got to take the Zags. You got to take Gonzaga, the third-ranked team in the country,

over Grand Canyon. Then I'm going to say, ooh, how about this one? They're third-ranked in this bracket. I don't know that they're third-ranked in the country, are they? Oh, I don't know. What's their record? Their record's good, though. They're 28-5.

Oh, I don't know. What's their record? Their record's good, though. They're 28-5. I'll take Northwestern over Boise, and I will take UCLA over UNC Asheville. All right. My Kansas Jayhawks, all right, over Howard Cunningham. Then I'm going to take. I like Arkansas. Definitely like Arkansas. I like VCU over St. Mary.

I'm just not into colleges named after just a person. All right. She needs to get off her high horse and I think VCU is going to do it. UConn versus Iona. I don't even know what Iona is, so I'm going to take UConn. Fuck TCU. I lost 500 bucks on them when they got fucking destroyed by Georgia. I'm going to take Arizona State. I think they're relaxed. I mean, chicks come to school wearing bikini tops, if I remember correctly, out there, so they'll be fine.

Good saga. And let's see here. I'm going to take Boise State. You know, minor upset over Northwestern. And I love UCLA, Paul. Who doesn't? I'm going to take them over UNC Asheville, although I do like UNC Asheville but

I'll take UCLA there you have it Paul there's my bracketology alright so now we got to roll through the second round quick right we're just going to say who we think alright so I had what the fuck I got to remember all of that no he's got it you got it

written down right yeah I don't know if we want to go through the second round. No, dude, we're going to fucking – we're going to wait to see what happens. Oh, wait. Can we have time? Why would we keep going, Paul? Because what if most of your teams are going to lose? Yeah, it's a little –

Oh, okay. We're going to start picking – look at Paul. Paul's so confident. He was going to go fucking – what is that, 64-0? No, I thought you were supposed to fill out the whole bracket. It's like, huh? All right. Should we at least pick our final fours now?

Hey, Paulie's feeling lucky. 32 in a row. Wait, but shouldn't we at least pick our final fours now or no? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we got to pick our final fours. So I'm going to – so here's what I'll do. Pick from – yeah. All right, so my final four,

I think the team that's going to go to the final four from the South is going to be, I think that, who do I think of the South? I think they're going to win, they're going to win. Let's go all the way down. I'm going to say San Diego State is going to the final four for the South. San Diego State

is going to go to the final four from the South. Where are they ranked? Fifth? Fifth. Fifth. Alright. where do they ranked fifth fifth fifth all right um i'm not going out on a limb here i say alabama does nothing exciting there i'll get exciting in other brackets all right i am going to say well i'm going to do what you just did in this bracket because they're so above. It seems they're so above everybody. I'm going to take Houston to ride it all the way to the Final Four.

The Houston Cougars in the Final Four for the first time in a long time. Houston Cougars are going to lose in the Sweet 16 to fucking the Indiana Hoosiers. Oh, so you got Indiana going. Yes, I do. All right. Just because they were nice to me and gave me this shirt. All right. Now we'll go down to the east.

We're going to fucking go down. We'll go down to the fucking east. A little short, a little flight. Do I dare take the Duke Blue Devils to go after first year without Coach K? I don't know. That's a tall order. Ranked fifth. Dude, the Tennessee Volunteers have two more losses than Duke.

Marquette. I am going to. Bastard. I am going to take Dwayne Wade's alma mater. I'm going to take Marquette to get out of the East and go to the final four. This is wild. We don't know. That's who I was going to take.

It's a number two, dude. That's not too wild. No, take it. No, no, no. You know what? That's who I was going to take. It's a number two, dude. That's not too wild. No, take it. No, no, no. You know what? In an effort to explode my bracket, and it makes no fucking sense, I'm going to take Tennessee just because their football team beat Alabama. All right, go ahead.

Well, you know what? As a courtesy, as a friend to you, which I am, never fucking have any more loyal friend than me. I am going to take Gonzaga because I know you're going to take Kansas and Kansas is your shit. And I like Gonzaga as a third seed

who got upset and they always get so close, and they're 28-5. So I'm going to take the third seed Zags to get to the Final Four. I think they're going to get beaten by UCLA in the Sweet 16. I think it's going to be Kansas and UCLA, and this is going to be a heartbreaker for me. I think UCLA gets them.

Oh. I got UCLA. I got Tennessee. I got Alabama. And I got Indiana. All right, Andrew, you have mine, right? And, Bill, you said UCLA? Mm-hmm.

Okay. I got San Diego State. I got – Houston, Marquette, and Gonzaga. And Bill has Alabama, Indiana. I like those. Those sound good to me, Paul. What sucks is if one of them get knocked off,

we got to change our other picks, but whatever. It's all right. That's why we shouldn't have picked ahead. But whatever. We got to have something. It's only the first round. Make people get excited. I mean, what are we doing here?

All right, guys. Well, there you go. That's our first round and who we think is going to the final four. This is the first time we're doing this March Madness. But guess what? It's going to make you pay attention. It's going to make us pay attention. It's going to be a great time.

Please bet responsibly. Have fun with it. Don't go nuts. And use bonus code Burr when you download the BetMGM app. And you could put as little as 10 bucks in they'll match up to a thousand dollars in your first bet so even if you lose just make sure you use our bonus code burr and there you have it look we're even if your wife gives you shit don't engage just take a walk just walk around the block one time come back

say you know what honey you're right you're right and then sit down and watch the rest of the game and you're still gonna watch yeah you're right you're right i am a fucking idiot who's gonna sit here and watch all of these games you're right that's that is what you marry or or you could go oh yeah i put 20 bucks on it sweetheart how many dumb fucking things do you buy on amazon that's what i would go but that's why yeah yeah how many more fucking pairs of shoes are you gonna to have Before we're destitute Alright everybody, we're giving you some sports content Without the NFL, how you like that?

How you like that? I can't put a C-note on Orville Rickenbacker To be Creighton I mean, am I a fucking American or what? What the fuck are we doing here? Alright everybody Oh, now you're going to cry? American or what? What the fuck are we doing here? Alright, everybody. Oh, now you're going to cry? You keep going?

Start making other things? Go to your mother's house. You always go to your mother's house. I'm going to watch Alabama. I'm going to get you a pacifier, you big baby. I will sleep on the couch. Oh, shit. Watch me. Oh, it's so funny.

Enjoy this. I hope everybody's bracket doesn't get busted Thursday night, which always happens. Somebody goes into work talking shit. He's like, I got the one. All of a sudden, Duke loses to fucking Valaparezo. Dude, there's people

that have gone 64- oh no dude it's happened like five times ever right like well that would be people i'm saying there's people yeah it's like an anomaly but yeah it's crazy that would be like an anomaly is five people i mean dude what are the chances actually it's more you got one of me it would be three people or less people dude i'm fucking with you i don't even know anomaly means it's more you got more to me it would be three people or less people doing i'm fucking with you i don't even know what nominally means it's very rare um more chances of a plane crash than doing it which is crazy paul you always got to go after aviation by the way oh we'll talk about it we'll talk about it in the anything better all right everybody enjoy uh use uh bonus

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