Anything Better? - NFL Picks & Preview | Week 11

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

Bill went 2-2 and ol' Pauly punched out a 4-0 week. If you haven’t signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code BURR and you will get up to a $1500 First Bet Offer on your first wager with BetMGM! Here’s how it works:  1. Download the BetMGM app and sign-up using bonus code BURR. 2. Deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game.3. You will receive up to $1500 in bonus bets if your bet loses! Just make sure you use bonus code BURR when you sign up! First Touchdown Offer Simply place a prop bet on the player to score the first touchdown in any NFL game.  If your player doesn't score first but instead scores second, you'll get your stake back in cash. Disclaimer: See BetMGM.com for Terms. 21+ only. US promotional offers not available in New York, Nevada, Ontario, or Puerto Rico. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Available in the US). Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Call 1-800-NEXT-STEP (AZ), 1-800-327-5050 (MA), 1-800-BETS-OFF (IA), 1-800-981-0023 (PR). First Bet Offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Rewards are non-withdrawable bonus bets that expire in 7 days. In partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel.

What's up everybody? Welcome back to the Anything Better podcast NFL edition for week number, holy shit guys, week 11 dude. I'm Paul Verzi over here, that's Bill Burr over there. We got Jake. What do you say there? What do you say there? We got Jake the Snake. We got Andrew Thamlis and we have another this. Actually, I don't really, I don't really,

I glanced at these. I didn't look, but I saw a couple and I go, don't like that. You can't miss. You're fucking unconscious. For those not paying attention, Paul Verzi went 4-0. Still early. attention. Paul Verzi went 4-0. Still early. This is how much Paul Verzi is crushing it. He's humble. He has crushed it for so many weeks in a row. He's out of shit to talk. Speaking of crushed it, congratulations on Saturday Night Live, because you, my friend, crushed it.

I had a great time. I had a great time. I had a great time. Dude that cast is ridiculous. Yeah. The cast is fucking ridiculous. They are so funny and everybody's in their own lane so there's this room for everybody. Like you could have seen some of the shit that we didn't even do. There was this sketch we didn't get to this one we were going to do with Heidi Gardner

about river white water rafting. She's just she's so funny. But the one that got me, the one that got me, dude, and I don't really laugh that I grew up on Saturday Night Live and it takes a couple to get me like I got to get got to get me because of all the brilliance I've seen, dude, the shit where you were a fireman and you were looking at Mike Wazowski's ass. And then, and then you go, all right, all right. You go, all right, dude, come on, come on. I got this one. I got this one. She goes, what is it?

You go, I don't Bluey's dad with a ball gag in his mouth, dude, I, that was so, it was so ridiculous and fuck it. And she goes, that's getting snuck up all week. I was looking at that one going like, I don't know. Oh, I don't know. and she goes, that's what you got from that? And it was like a butterfly. I think that's what it was because I couldn't see what they were cutting back and forth to. So, so when they open with that one, I was like, Oh, all right, I guess, I guess I'm seeing that one wrong. And then we did it in front of the crowd and it murdered. Oh, dude, when the one kid goes, I don't know, it's just the other fireman. He goes, I don't right, I guess I'm seeing that one wrong. And then we did it in front of the crowd and it murdered.

Oh dude, when the one kid goes, I don't know, it's just the other fireman. He goes, I don't know, just like a blur, a blob. And she goes, what about you? And you go, Mike Wazowski holding his ass. Hey, he's holding his little green ass there. It's great. All right, guys, before we get- I like the bald guys. The bald guys was fun.

Just singing and acting like an idiot was fun. The whole thing was fun. Yeah, that's awesome, man. Well, congratulations buddy. You crushed. Okay, before we get into the show, we have to shout out our BedMGM sponsor guys. It's the best sponsor.

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picks, dude. Well, look, some guy called it is being hot. And then there's Paul Versey. And I can't even say October anymore. October in November. You went three and one three and one three and one three and one three and one for now. No, it was it was three and one three and one two and two, three and one three and 3-1, 3-1, 4-0. No, it was 3-1, 3-1, 2-2, 3-1, 3-1, 4-0, but I was eight back and now I'm six up. So one of our fans goes, Verzi, you're putting my kid through school.

I said, hey, go easy, okay? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Um, dude, are the Cincinnati Bengals coming back? Is Joe Burrow coming back? Paul, I haven't seen a second of football and I saw the Dolphins game I watch it I was I was overseas. And then I was doing the show last week so I don't know what I don't know what's going on I know the

Kansas City still undefeated and I feel like they should have lost that game in the fact that they didn't, they figured out a way to win it. They got a shot. But dude, they got to put like, fuck the 72 Dolphins. I mean, 17 and 0 was the perfect season back then. 17 and 0 gets you out of the regular season. See, telling me the Chiefs have to go 20 and 0.

Wait, so what was regular season back then? 14? 14 games. Oh, okay. It was 14 games. And then when we went, we went 18 and 0, we won one more game than them, but lost to you guys. And then for some reason, they're still considered a better team.

Yeah. No. Like, you know, a bunch of white guys on defense, like give me a fucking break with this. No, I, you know, a bunch of white guys on defense. Like, give me a fucking break with this. No, I was in Toronto. I was in Toronto watching and the Buccaneers had them. The Buccaneers had the chiefs. And then I looked and I go, Oh no, I go, there's two minutes, a minute 40.

I go, this is going to overtime where the chiefs are going to figure it out. And they did. But real quick, I got one for you. Best meal you had in Paris this time. Ooh, that's a, that's a tough one. I had the best Italian dish of my life in Paris. I actually, this is another thing too. There was right next to our apartment, Don Lissi's Are di Mo Miser was this oyster place was right next to our apartment and

This oyster place was right next to our apartment and we walked by and my wife was just like, the way she moves through life, she's like vibes. So she just saw the place and like, I'm looking out, it's an oyster place. She's looking at it going like, that's lunchtime and it's mobbed in here. So she walked in and then goes, hey, what's the story supposed to be?

Like you need a reservation. She goes, even during lunch? And they were like, yeah. She's like, all right, that spot's the spot. And we went there, dude. And it didn't even make sense. It didn't even make sense. And I'll tell you something else,

which is why I'm so depressed about this fucking election is both of these idiots ran and neither one of them brought up our fucking food supply. Dude, I wasn't over there. I had a potato that was an afterthought. We were eating the fish eggs. I always forget if that's escargot or caviar. Caviar. I'm an idiot, dude. I thought escargot and caviar was the same thing.

So something like that. Wait, escargot was snails, right? Snails. I didn't know that. Dude, it's like eating a fucking butter and garlic gasket. It's like they took a fucking washer. Dude, it's a slug without the shell. It's gross. Yeah, it's unreal. So, yeah, dude, they seasoned the shit out of that thing.

They add heat to it, everything trying to make you feel like you're not eating a fucking piece of gum off a sidewalk. So we were eating this escargot, right? Oh, Billy Fancy Pants in Paris eating escargot. I mean, who am I, Paul? Who am I? I'm telling shit jokes over here. What do I know?

So as part of the thing, you know, sort of like a plate filler, because the eggs are so small, they just had this little round, it was like this big, like the size, not even the size of a golf ball. And they had a little seasoning on top of it. Dude, it was so good I was upset.

I'm like, this is what a fucking potato is supposed to taste like? Oh, dude. This country, dude, I'm telling you, if we could just turn around the food supply, can we just do that? Dude. Can we just do that now that TV celebrities,

they're gonna be running? Dude, this guy gets elected and I'm seeing fucking the guy from The Apprentice, Dr. Phil and the Tesla guy. I'm just waiting for Eric Estrada to show up in his chips outfit. I'm going to be running the economy. Dude, Stacey and I went to a Michelin star French restaurant by our house. And I don't know if you like anchovies, but I'm an, I'm a sucker for anchovies. Dude, dude, they came, these, these, uh, anchovies from Spain came this long on

bread with a little butter thing on it. Dude, I bite it and I just fucking sat back and I just pointed to it. Is it like, that's why I love Italians, what you guys can communicate with no words. I still remember, I gotta recreate this. I don't have a cigar. Just imagine I have a cigar in my mouth and I was, we were going to some college football game. These fucking pieces, this fucking apple, can you give me an extension cord that makes it to the fucking wall in my desk? You fucking greedy cunts. Dude, you were sitting there and I was describing about how much, you know, smoking a cigar, blah, blah, blah. I go, dude, all that, I was trying to like explain how great it was as an Irish guy and you were sitting there, you had it in your mouth, get ready to light it. And as you're listening to it, you just go.

And then you're like. That meant like over. It's over. You had this fucking hat on. I was just like, uh, everything I was trying to say you just did with you. Remember that we were in Tampa and I just started laughing. Yeah, you said it.

And I just went like this and you go. All right, Bill, well, you have the honors this week, my friend. You are up first. By the way, dude, can I tell you something? I hate Michelin star restaurants. Yeah, it's the process. Yeah, the fucking get in there.

Oh, my God. Get a fucking table. And then you get in there and To get a fucking table. And then you get in there, and then the waiter has to come over and tell you every fucking ingredient. And you're just sitting there like, dude, I came here because I was hungry, not because I wanted to listen to a speech. Yeah.

Okay, this is our fucking salmon, the salmon comes from the Dushi River. There's a crusty fucking bread that for three days we did this with it. I said, I don't give a fuck what you. I'm not listening to any of this. Yeah, yeah. I'm smelling this, I wanna eat it.

Shut up. I got, yeah, my buddy goes, dude, he goes, I went to the greatest restaurant on the planet in Copenhagen. He goes, it was 27 courses. And I go, yeah, was one of them a rock with moss on it and a little thing? And he goes, yeah.

I did one of those one time in Norway. It looked like we went in like somebody's fucking house. I started drinking that night. I had like, I was a year off and I was just so fucking just sitting there like, I can't do it. It's like death by a thousand little cuts. They just kept bringing these things and he's in,

and I remember it was so weird, like just how they view cheese. Like it was towards the end and like the cheese was like the dessert, I mean cheese. And then dude, it was just like fucking, it was the rankest. Oh. Oh dude, it was like, this is,

it was awful. All right, let me do, let me pick something. I'm gonna go with the Seahawks. Oh, Billy loves Seahawks. No, I just like a division rivalry game. I feel like they're playing great. I like their quarterback. I just like that he got a shot finally. And he's getting points.

I like the points, six and a half. Six and a half division rivalry, the 49ers. I don't know if they're banged up or whatever, but I felt like the Buccaneers played with them last week. Dude, does anybody get held more than Bosa in the fucking league? No, no.

Every time I watch the game, he's got both his hands up and some guys got his hands full of his fucking shirt. Nobody's doing anything. That guy gets, dude, the Super Bowl was a ridiculous example of that. All right. Oh my God, that guy was inside his jersey. All right. Bill, all right. Bill's got Seattle.

I don't know, dude. I'd be honest with you. I really hate this fucking week. I'm going to go. Four and O that's what you're going to do. You're going to go three and one. Oh, we got to get Jake the snake in here. Jake the snake.

What do we got injury wise? And Bill could take that back if there's God forbid something with Seattle. What do we got? Jake this night, by the way, just got back from a wonderful weekend at the Playboy Club. They just reopened it in Chicago because they realized there's men like him in the world again. Absolutely right.

Well, Trevor Lawrence is gonna be out again. They announced that yesterday. So, I mean, Detroit's already the biggest favorite on the board. So I don't know if that's like something you were picking anyway. And then I saw the Darnold is questionable with the hand injury kind of explains why he's so bad last week. And then and the bills have a couple injuries that receiver with Amari Cooper. So those are kind of the big ones that caught my eye. Hopefully nothing else changes. Is there a reason the bills is there a reason the bills are favored over the Chiefs? I wondered me and my friends were wondering the same thing when we saw it.

Well, Vegas has to get money on both sides of the line. So always remember that. All right. How can you not take the Chiefs in that spot? How are the bills? Are the bills the bills are coming off a bye week at home. Is that what's going on? No the bills bills played in Indianapolis last week It's nothing crazy. But um, but yeah No, bye weeks for either them see also going off the by though. I'm gonna do something I'm gonna take tonight's game and I'm gonna take the Washington commanders getting three and a half And I'm gonna take the Washington commanders getting three and a half. I like the half a point and I like this kid, Jaden Daniels, they're starting to really, they're starting to click.

There's no injuries with Washington. So I'm gonna take the commanders with the half a point. I think the half a point is gonna save me. I love that pick. I feel like they're playing their best football. They played in decades. People are actually excited. I'll be honest with you, dude. I like the name the commanders Yes, I do too. Yeah, it's a night coming. You commanding the thing you're running shit. I like a lot better than the

What are the Cleveland Indians now that the Guardians are D and two That sounds like a romantic comedy. Oh, yeah, like what's his face is carrying? the Hey, go to the WNBA for that. Just kidding. Uh huh. Yes, I love the WNBA and these fucking broads are still not showing as much as they keep trying to ram it down our throats. It's gonna take men. It's gonna take men going to Paul. They're gonna get better at the game. They just are.

I'm talking about names like I don't like names like Scott the sky or like I don't know like but you also I got one for you. I got sky or like, I don't know. But you also got to have a cat in there. All right Paul, I got one for you. I got one. You're starting a new league. Yeah. All the ferocious animal names are already taken.

All the disturbing weather is gone. Hurricanes, fucking, what is it? Oklahoma, what is it? Oklahoma thunder. Yeah. You got thunder, lightning, hurricane, the monsoons? What are you going with? I got one.

The meteors. And it's just like rocks rushing. You're going out of space. I like that. Nobody's gone out of space. The Rochester rogue wave. We come out of, you think it's calm, man. We come out of nowhere. Hit you calm man we come out of nowhere.

In the side of the head after shock earthquake. The worst name is the pelicans. That's gotta be the worst name in sports I mean who's who's afraid of a pelican. I like pelicans because it sounds like a minor league baseball team. It's a terrible name. All the pelicans is a minor league baseball team in South Carolina. That's what I think about you 100% right. Do you know? But their logo they should somehow make that pelican jowl like somebody's ball back. Like you're standing over the pelican to try to do something to make it intimidating. We're gonna

fucking nutsack you whatever whatever they call that, dip my balls on you. Oh, Andrew. All right. All right. Well, we did that for a while, and I should have fucking been looking at this. I am sorry.

It was my fault. No, it's all right, Paul. You know, Paul, the way you're playing right now, you're like LT. You could go to sleep under the table during this whole fucking thing. What are we going to do? You're going to diagram you could go to sleep under the table during this whole fucking thing. What are we gonna do? You're gonna diagram the four fucking winners. Oh, Jesus Christ, what am I gonna do here?

I don't know, Paul. How do you not take the Chiefs getting points? I did that in the Super Bowl. I'm just gonna take the Chiefs. I'm gonna take the Chiefs, then I'm gonna root for the Bills. So I gonna take the Chiefs and I'm gonna root for the Bills. So I'll take the Chiefs, get in two and a half. And that's gonna be a fun game to watch

because if they cover, if the Bills hand them their first, like this is probably, like the best thing, if you're a Chiefs fan, the best thing that could happen right now is you lose to the fucking Bills because that means you're gonna beat them in January. But like, I don't know, this just seems like how it works. So I'm gonna take the Chiefs, get two and a half. like, I don't know, this just seems like how it works. I'm gonna take the chiefs get two and a half. Paul

I'm a housewife this year. I'm folding laundry. I'm just I don't know what I'm doing. Um, you know, the chiefs are gonna go in there piss their dogs. I love that pic. All right. Um, all right, you motherfucker. Jake, Jake, what the Ravens one?

Uh, yeah, they beat the Bengals on Thursday. They didn't cover those pricks. I know. Brutal. I could have gone three point ball. I could I could have been in your fucking stratosphere, but still on the ground. Two and two. I'm going to try something I haven't tried in a while. I'm going to take the Steelers two weeks in a row getting three.

I'm going to take the Steelers at weeks in a row getting three. I'm going to take the Steelers at home getting three against the Ravens. I like that too. The Steelers are starting to click a little bit. They gave me a win last week. I'll take them getting three. Oh, Polly dogs

this week. I'm taking dog. This is not the Paul that I grew up with. Paul's first pick this week old old school Paul 10 years ago, would take the Lions, lay in 14. It's going to be a bloodbath. It's going to be a bloodbath. That is so true.

I would call Bill and go, Bill, they're supposed to win. They're the better team. They're a favorite for a reason. They were at home. They were at home. And then they would be covering through three and take their starters out. Then that's when my phone would start lighting up.

Dude, they won the game and then they just fucking gave it back. Now remember you would get the text thread and then all of a sudden the last one would say, sick. I'm sick. Oh Mike, no. I was out to breakfast with my wife at that Eagles Giants game

when they kept kicking it to that dude who kept running it back. Oh my God. You had that dude? I missed all your text messages and it started in small print and by the end, it was all capitals and it was just like one word. The fuck are they doing? Are they serious? Fuck. I was just, I was crying laughing. It was like I binge watched that game through your text messages. All right.

I like the Falcons getting two and a half against the Broncos going in there. Who the fuck did the Broncos think they are? Do they think they're good all of a sudden? Is there a guy still playing there, Kirk Cousins? You like that, you like that. Is he playing? Yeah.

Yeah. I think he's going to go in there and fucking knock the dirty sandals off those Colorado people. Falcons. Falcons. This is how I know I suck at this. When I do my picks, it's always quiet.

No, I was looking- Oh, Paul, I like what you did there. No, no, I was looking at the thing. I'd never go against Kirk Cousins man in a in a tight game. All the Jaguars are bad. Who the Jaguars at bad Jaguars had a rough one this year, OK? Jones is starting to do what about the? What about the Cowboys being done?

Roof. True, they need they need to stop looking at their players. They gotta get rid of their own any sort of drop my thinking they need to have a hostile takeover it's like it's got to be a two you have to stop meddling you have to like i i he's like like george steinbrenner like i'm so fucking stupid why are you talking why are you talking to the media you lost let me get you're upset i always hated that

the boss is going to issue a statement today at 417. Let me guess you're not happy that they're losing? Yeah. Well, you get a guy fucking winded up with that big dumb head. Mike and the mad dog would always go, we got a missive from George and Steinbrenner. And then they would start playing music and read it. He was fun though. Yeah, it's definitely fun. Rest rest his big rest his soul. Um, all right, dude. How did you feel about the sun blinding those players eyes at the Cowboy Stadium? That was my favorite thing was was was that the game Troy Aikman was doing where he's making fun of him? Or was that the I don't think so. I think that was the Dolphins game where the guy was like dolphins. Dolphins played the Rams last week.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One guy like he just like it went right through his hands and he started pointing to his eyes and just Troy being a quarterback. He goes, all right, it's the sun. He goes, all right, well next, next week they're playing indoors. So, you know, I don't want to see week they're playing indoors. So, you know, I don't want to see anybody doing that. I'm going to take the New Orleans Saints. It's a pick them might as well be a pick them. That's what I always say. One point at home. Can you beat the Cleveland Browns by one at home? We're going to find out. That's my pick. I like how none of us answered you and then you answered it yourself. Can they beat the Cleveland Browns at home? We're gonna find out when we come back. Did you take the Bengals? I did not. I'm gonna take the Bengals, Paul, because I have nothing better to do.

I'll be a good game. Oh, Jake is gonna be televised in my area. Yeah. I keep forgetting they're not down in San Diego. Yeah, they'll be on Sunday night now. Okay. Got moved. What's it called? Dak Prescott is out?

Yeah, season's over. He just had the season ending surgery. What happened it called? Dak Prescott is out? Yeah, season's over. He just had season ending surgery. What happened to him? Something with his hamstring. Some sort of torn hamstring. Yeah, I feel bad for the guy, but he looks like he hasn't worn out his hip yet doing that shit before the game. The Dolphins minus eight or the Texans minus seven and a half. Oh, Paul is going to take a favorite. I got to take a favorite. Um, I'm going to take the Texans Monday night football against a bad, no, you

know, no starting quarterback. The Cowboys are in complete disarray, and the Texans are just such a great team. They should win that game by 10 or 14. I'm gonna take- What about that this is the battle for Texas, Paul, the pride? I mean, then it's more in favor of Houston. Yeah, I don't know, Cowboys and Pride, not seeing a lot of that.

Wow, I gotta walk that comment not seeing a lot of that. Oh, wow. I gotta walk that comment. What is happening in that franchise? Oh, dude, Jerry Jones, did you see him with his shirt? I never thought I'd see Jerry Jones that heavy. He's all heavy now, yelling, going on radio stations. It's not gonna be pretty, man. This is not gonna be a good ending.

This is not gonna be a good ending. Dude, he's like a psycho chick who's just blaming you for everything in the relationship. It's like Jerry, it's you. It's you. He's got an elevator. When you were winning championships, he had, yeah, yeah, what's his face? I want to get down boys. Jimmy Johnson, right? You chased him out of town and he was so fucking good, Barry won with his team two years later. And they haven't snipped it since. And then after that, he just got yes men, yes men, yes men, yes men, other than Bill Parcells.

Yeah. Brett Ernst, buddy of ours, he's a big cowboy fan. He's disgusted. He's, we suck, we suck. We stay in office. You know, when you know when your team's up. When I saw them in the 70s, dude, with those fucking cheerleaders, man, it was unreal.

Roger Starback, Harry Muff, No Braz. I mean, it was fucking amazing, Paul. Go ahead, there's Texans. Yeah, I don't know where they are now. I don't know where they are. Bill, I'll tell you what, your Patriots are starting to turn a page, I think. I love you, Paul.

What? You just always combine. It's turn the corner or get on the same page. Your patriots, man, that started. Now, I think isn't that right? You know who else does that? Maureen. Yeah. She told me the other night, she goes, I would never steer you down the wrong street. I'm like, no, it's I would never steer you wrong.

I don't know what this street shit is. No, it's me with that and you with names. I can't remember. He's to save my life. But Paul, you're like Miles Davis, like with fusion, except you do it with with safe expressions. Dude, how about Yogi Berra? It's getting early late. No, it's getting late early. That's a

great one, dude. Like he had those yogi isms. Yeah, he must have done that on purpose. You can't get that luck because they were amazing. Dude, it's getting what is it? It's getting early. It's getting late early. What was it? I can't even get that right. Wait. Yeah, it's getting what is it? It's getting early. It's getting late early. What was it?

I can't even get that right. Wait. Yeah, it's getting. They probably turn the clocks back or something. No, it would be in a game where like the game is going by fast and he'd go, oh, man, it's getting it's getting late early or something. Yeah, they don't make they don't make guys like that anymore.

Oh, no. Yogi was great. Everybody's on the internet looking at the same 10 fucking videos everybody has the same accent yeah dude if I go on Instagram one more time and click on a video can go deep when I fucking get how many fucking times can you use they just like do they like robots I and you remember 10 years ago on YouTube Let the bodies hit the floor every

fucking video. It's like, can you pick a different fucking song? Andrew got it right here. Yeah. It gets late early out there. Yogi said it gets late early out there. And you just it's like it's so it's like, oh, it's the seventh inning already is what that

means. It's amazing. But it's like there's something about it. It's like fun to listen to. Oh, yeah. It ain't over till it's over. But I mean, I's something about it. It's like fun to listen to. Oh, yeah. It ain't over till it's over, but I mean, that like totally makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Bill, you got one more, right?

Or no? Please tell me I don't have to do this again. Do I have one more? No. I'm done? No. Okay, you're done. No, no.

I have, I have- Well, I've been done since week three of this season. Do you're like two weeks? You're two weeks away from being back. But I was down. I can't get my head above water. I'm going down the last time. You know, the lifeguard, you know, a lifeguard sits up for a little like is that guy fucking around? Is he serious? That's where I am right now. No, Andrew, I have I'm not Andrew. Bill went first. I have the commanders, the Saints, the Steelers and the Texans.

There's four. What do you have, Bill? Bill's got the Seahawks. I got the Bengals, the Chiefs, the Seahawks. See him I have one more. Oh, Christ. I know he's got the Falcons. I got the Falcons. Yes.

I got the dirty birds. I got two dirtycons. Yes. I got the dirty birds. I got two dirty birds. I'm going with the birds this week, Paul. All right. I'm going with the birds. Love it. All right, there we go. All right, we got our picks now.

And now it's time for the Monday Night Special. That's the Monday Night Special. Oh, there it is. With some money for you. Come on, Paul. We need a slump buster here. It's the Texans and the Cowboys. It and Jerry's at Jerry's World, which is another world and the narrative is the Cowboys

season is over. Everybody's saying this Paul, every fat, mantid it fucking cunt out there who's sitting there with a beer in one hand and fucking free porn in the other, is all saying this, Paul. Are we gonna go with the ignorant masses who the last three elections picked, the host of The Apprentice, a warmonger with dementia,

and back to the apprentice guy? I was joking in my act, we're picking presidents the way the Browns pick quarterbacks. And then after a while, it's like, wait, is it the quarterbacks or is it the Browns? Under over this week is 42. What do you think? I think it's an under. You love the appointment. Yeah, I just did. These are two fucking boring ass teams. Are the Cowboys really gonna put up an NFL team, Paul? Yeah, that's true. They're just hanging on to fucking Houston so that squinty creature doesn't take it over. He already bought one of the arenas.

Squinty creature. Who's the squinty creature? Texans. All right, let's do, you want to do Texans and the under. I like Houston. That's my favorite guitar store in America. South Park guitars, all lefties. Underrated comedy town. Underrated. They're amazing out there. Great people. Underrated Paul. That place was a mecca when I came up. Really? Bill Hicks, Sam Kinison.

Oh yeah. Oh, I thought they were Austin. No. How dare you? How dare I? Rest their soul. How dare you? Ron Shock.

You know who Ron Shock was? Eddie Bananas. I mean, they had some killers out there. Dude, Ron Shock would do a story. Ron Shock came up with Bill Hicks. And dude, Ron Shock, they had some killers out there. Dude, Ron Shock would do a story. Ron Shock came up with Bill Hicks. And dude, Ron Shock, they said, was the greatest American storyteller. And I worked with him in Vegas at Brad Garrett's club.

And somebody goes, I think this kid from Philadelphia, Pat House comic, funny kid, he goes, watch Ron Shock. It's like a magic trick. You're not gonna believe it. Dude, I swear to God, I'm not even joking. It was like fitting we were in Vegas because it was like an illusion I went out and I watched this man tell a story a comedy story and it felt like I was in there for 10 minutes And 40 minutes went by it was fucking incredible. It was incredible man. Oh, dude. It was amazing

You can tell a story better than Ron white Dude, it was yeah. I hate yes. I guess you that Ron shy I saw this this comic this English comic from way back in the day. Yeah. And he came out of this variety show to sing a song. And he was talking about how he was singing live. And he did this shit backstage and he was clearly singing to a tape. But it was really him singing. So the tape starts like slow. He was doing it all with his voice. He was like, and then he'd go, he would like go like, he could do this thing with his voice

and then move like really fast and then start singing normally. And then he was looking off stage like he was pissed. It was fucking brilliant, dude. It's like one of those things that I feel like got lost over the years in standup where it's like the bit that like the it's like concepts like that this guy came up with. But and then be able to do all of that with your voice. I was fucking dying when I was I thought I posted it in my stories there on the Instagram.

Yeah, it's like the, what's the guy's name from the police academy with the voices, Michael Winslow. But dude, did you see the British kid who goes, all right guys, he goes, I'm gonna give you guys a soccer goal, a header in slow motion. That's amazing. And dude, he's doing it.

Dude, it was like, I thought it was in slow motion for a second, it's amazing. And dude, he's doing it. Dude, it was like, I thought it was in slow motion for a second. It's amazing. I think I said that to you. You see that other English comic where he goes, you know, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me again, the shame's back on you.

Like, why would you keep doing that to me? And he just, he gets it up to like six. By number six, he's like, the shame's on you because you don't realize this is just a game and I'm playing gullible and now you're super calling. So he goes, James seven times. Now the shame's back on me because you figured out my game.

It was ridiculous. Oh dude, he did it like psychological. That is so great. He got like a five minute bit out of it. I was just watching, how the fuck do you come up with this shit? Um, all right, let's do this ball because I got to get to work. All right. So we're going to do we're going to do we're going to take the Texans got a win. Lay it lay it lay it down like a horrible.

All right. Seven and a half under four. I walk mattress ball. But we need one more bill. We need one more. Sidewalk mattress fall. Oh, we need one more, Bill. We need one more. Jake likes sidewalk mattress. Do Stroud to throw one. Yeah. There we go.

CJ Stroud to throw one. Texans minus seven and a half. Under 42. Bingo. Bango. How great. Jake's like a mob lawyer. Except he doesn't whisper in the ear.

He just says it. But he keeps this on the straight and narrow. Yeah. He's like Kevin Poll lawyer. Except he doesn't whisper in the ear, he just says it. But that's, you know, he keeps, he keeps us on the straight and narrow. Yeah, he's like Kevin Pollock in Casino. Yeah. Paul, once you fucking beat the book again, I want you to dress like Ray Liotta, including the wig, shave your beard.

I don't want you to get, I beat the book again. And then you take your pills and be like, all right, now take me to the casino. Let it ride, baby. At what point is, I mean, if I do do it again, does Ben MGM let me in there and making the lines with these guys? You're having a career, like,

you're gonna end up owning a team. You're gonna end up owning like the Tangiers like be a part owner Yeah, I hope they don't blow up my car, okay, I can still pick them I got the glasses alright guys That's it. Um, you guys know download the bet MGM app guys put at least ten dollars in there and you will get up to 1500 and bonus bets if the bet loses to 1,500 in bonus bets if the bet loses. Also, we have the first touchdown. Pick any player to get the first touchdown of any NFL game if they don't.

But in fact, at the second touchdown, you'll still get your stack of cash back. And bet responsibly, guys. Enjoy it. Have fun this week. We will see you after week 11. And oh, check me out. I'll be in Providence, Rhode Island this weekend. There you go.

There you go. All right, guys. Thank you so much. We'll talk to you next week. All right. you