Anything Better? - NFL Picks & Preview Week | 12

Episode Date: November 22, 2024

Bill and Paul are back for a long one.  They make their picks in between talking about Lox and Italian House Tours. If you haven’t signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code BURR and you will get up to a $1500 First Bet Offer on your first wager with BetMGM! Here’s how it works:  1. Download the BetMGM app and sign-up using bonus code BURR. 2. Deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game.3. You will receive up to $1500 in bonus bets if your bet loses! Just make sure you use bonus code BURR when you sign up! First Touchdown Offer Simply place a prop bet on the player to score the first touchdown in any NFL game.  If your player doesn't score first but instead scores second, you'll get your stake back in cash. Disclaimer: See BetMGM.com for Terms. 21+ only. US promotional offers not available in New York, Nevada, Ontario, or Puerto Rico. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Available in the US). Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Call 1-800-NEXT-STEP (AZ), 1-800-327-5050 (MA), 1-800-BETS-OFF (IA), 1-800-981-0023 (PR). First Bet Offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Rewards are non-withdrawable bonus bets that expire in 7 days. In partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel.

What's up everybody? Welcome back to the Anything Better Podcast Show NFL Edition going into what is it? Week number 12 with your host Paul Verzi over here, Bill Burr over there. Of course we have Jake the Snake from his undisclosed or his undisclosed place with his injury reports and we got the Greek freak, the Beverly Hills kid, Andrew Themmles. We are all here for week 12 guys, but before we get into this week's show, we have to shout out our sponsor. It's a great sponsor that we've been working with and it is the best sportsbook that there is out there on the planet. It's BetMGM offering 1500 in free bets to get your season going guys.

I can't believe it's, it feels like the beginning and it's week 12 already. How to get this offer, it's easy. You download the BetMGM sportsbook to your device and you use our code. Very easy. It's Burr, B-U-R-R. You use the code and you sign up and you deposit at least $10 into your bet MGM Sportsbook account. You place your first wager and you receive up to 1,500 back in bonus bets. If the bet loses, if the bet does lose, your bonus bets will be available

once your initial wager is settled. Also, we still are doing the first touchdown offer, you simply place a prop bet on the player you think is going to score the first touchdown in any NFL game. If they don't score the first touchdown, but in fact, score the second touchdown, you'll get your stack back in cash. There you go. Dude, I got to start the show by talking about my New York football giants and Daniel Jones. Daniel Jones was emotional yesterday because all of the major teammates backed him and said that this was a weak move by the Giants. They think maybe the Giants are trying to get the draft pick. And then Daniel Jones walked into John Marra's office 20 minutes

ago. This is hot off the press. And he said, guys, they made him not the second string, they made him the third string. And then yesterday they had him playing safety as like a dummy, like just being a safety. And he walked in today and he said, guys, do me a favor and please release me. And apparently- Please release me and and apparently he walked in with a gun to his head and says guys it's you or me now I don't want to play for the

Giants anymore so and I believe they obliged I believe the Maras and then wished him well and said goodbye. So Daniel Jones is done. And Paul, what did I say? I gotta give you credit. I meant to do that today. You called it. I was wrong. I held on to it because of that good season he had.

And then he fucking had happy feet because whatever it was, dude, you were right. So yeah, I didn't say that, you know, he shouldn't be a quarterback. I just said that's an awful lot of money in an awful long time. Who the fuck's gonna pick up that contract? And to not give Saquon Barkley money, but to give him money and now watch Saquon Barkley be an MVP candidate with the Philadelphia. Let's give a slow white guy from Duke a whole bunch of money. And

let's give a fucking jack black dude no money. Come on, Paul, what's that looking like? Huh, if we did that in Boston, Paul, what would the story be? What would the story be? Oh, it hurts. Oh, it hurts. It's like watching your girlfriend go down on somebody. Just like, oh, and they still,

they hold your head to watch it. Wait, what? Jesus. You went big air on that one. He's still alive. He's still breathing, Frankie. He's still breathing. That's the worst. I will say this to this day,

to this day is there a more uncomfortable scene in any movie than when he- I didn't watch casino. I saw casino in movie theaters. I didn't watch it again for 10 years because of that scene. One of the most disturbing scenes I ever seen he's still breathing Frankie Frank. Oh anyway Oh, by the way, Paul, what about last week the Lions lay in 14 and a half won like 55 this

Yeah, old school Paul Burzy would have put a Tex to be bloodbath over like 58 times during that game Oh, I got one for you. Yeah, two fucking things. I'm fucking over right now beautiful women and nerds Opposite ends of the spectrum you're done with both of them done with both of them. I hate the classic fucking beautiful woman in the front row Nothing you can say to her as long as she's getting the attention every fucking thing I was saying, she, you know, just like, I go, you know, like those straight women that love the gaze. I love the gaze. I love the gaze. Oh, no, but I love the gaze. I do love the gaze. I love the gate. And then you, I go, will you shut up and be like, Oh, I hate that shit doing the cutesy fucking thing. It's just like, you know, and it's like you used to

be pretty, now you're just annoying. That's the thing about beautiful women. When they're young they're beautiful, when they get older they just get annoying. Because all of us men put up with that fucking behavior because they're going to keep it happy, maybe they'll fuck me and then we raise them. Yeah. Okay. Men raised beautiful women to be fucking annoying assholes at comedy shows. You know it's a good one, just go see. And then nerds fall. Nerds, I gotta get the nerds.

They ruin the fucking world. Okay, get the nerd thing out. Go ahead. Yeah, nerds are ruining the fucking world. All these years they said it was gonna be the frat boy date rapists. It wasn't. All right. They individually ruin lives.

Nerds ruin the fucking world. All right. Let's go. That's my theory. All right. I got my glasses on Paul. I got my glasses so I can see my dad. You know what you say to that girl? You know what you say to that woman? Sweetie, sweetie, you're an alcoholic. You can't hold your liquor. You, you, you, you're an alcoholic. He loves it. You're talking to her. The whole show stops and you're talking to her. Then you look at the guy and go, how do you fuck this annoying thing? Then it's a whole different thing. Then he has to do something. No, I ended up shaking his hand. I said, don't fucking blame him for this on the ride home. This was you and me. This was you and me. I did this great gig in Modesto, California. Paul, I'm going to the people on this one. I like it. All right. Oh hi, Bakersfield, Modesto, where am I? Stockton. And then the

one that begins with V, I can't remember. Visileo or whatever the fuck it is. Doing all these Fox and Warner theaters on the way up here. And by the way, Paul, Mega Texas Barbecue in Fresno, California, if you don't fucking go there and get yourself a Texas Twinkie and some fucking pulled pork and brisket, I swear to God, it's going to affect our friendship. That's how good it is. But what's a Texas Twinkie, a burrito? Dude, it's a stuffed jalapeno. They put brisket, cream cheese in there and then they triple wrap it with this bacon and put their fucking sauce on top. Sweet, you got the heat. It's just like, you

want to go outside and tell somebody about it after each bite. Dude, I got to tell you something. I think I told you this. Last year is the first year that I discovered bagel and lox. Because I never did that. I never, because I like raw sushi. Yeah, the issues with the juice. I get it, Paul. No, but like, you know, nobody ever said, you know, nobody... How the fuck do you live in New York?

You never tried bagels and lox. It's amazing. No, because you know what it is? I tried smoked salmon once and didn't like it, and I liked the sushi great of it. And then all of a sudden, dude, it's amazing. No, because you know what it is, I tried smoked salmon once and didn't like it and I liked the sushi grate of it. And then all of a sudden, dude, I got one and the capers and everything was so delicious and I'm going, what? Did you just say sushi grate?

Like sushi type of salmon. Paul, don't get, listen, don't get fucking self-conscious here. I said sushi grate. Paul, you have elevated yourself. Yeah. Oh wait, are you becoming refined? The way that just rolled off your tongue.

Yeah. Paul, I've known you almost 20 years. If I was on a game show and it had a bunch of shit that you could have possibly said, sushi grade, I never would have thought that. That's fucking amazing. Oh, thank you. I tip my cap to you, my kind sir. I love that you're sitting there in a hoodie talking about the Giants and then you bust

out sushi, grape, salmon. Yeah. So anyway, but what I don't like sometimes is the bagel is really filling, right? So I'm in Austin, Texas. And this guy goes, dude, one of my favorite places is around the corner. It's called Cafe Crepe. And he goes, they got great crepes, but they also have great breakfast. And I'm like, perfect. I'll go to there before I go to the podcast before I go to the airport. And I go to this crepe place that I'm looking. And I see a picture on the menu of this crepe with all the smoked salmon, a little layer of cream cheese and capers. So I call the

lady over and she goes, Oh, that's our number one seller. So I go, I love it. So get it, dude. It was it. I bid I was alone and I go, I looked around, I got kept believe I was by myself. I can't believe it. I just I said, I can't believe it out loud. And the lady goes, it's good, right? I go, this is incredible, man. And it was less filling than the bagel. And it was amazing, dude. It was amazing. Oh, so you just got the locks. You didn't get cream cheese bagel,

you didn't get bagel and locks, you just got the locks. No, no, no, it was a crepe with cream cheese. Oh, crepe, oh my God. It was a crepe with the cream cheese layer on it, capers and the locks. So it was everything that you get bagel and locks, but just on a crepe. Dude.

That sounds amazing, that's it. Over, oh Paul bagel and locks, but just on a crepe dude. That sounds amazing. That's it Oh pa versie over over That sounds amazing. It was it was fucking fantastic, man And and then I yeah, then I got home and yeah off to I don't even know what happened I gotta give another shout out Paul. Yeah, let's turn it into a couple of fucking foodies out here I went to this breakfast place. of fucking foodies out here. I went to this breakfast place. I got to get it here.

I got it in my places to go app Paul, not app but what. Oh my God. I don't know if I'm going to say it. L-I-B-E-L-U-L-A. Libba Lula for breakfast right next to the Crest Theater in Fresno. Got fucking three fried eggs on some kimchi and like one of those tortilla shells with fucking avocado on top, dude.

It was fucking insane. Had the whole, the yolk and then they had the heat thing going there. Paul, I'm telling you, these mom and pop places, it's the way to go. All of these fucking fat fucks with their mantits going to the chain restaurants. Listen, here's the thing. You want to change America, okay?

You don't do it in the voter booth. You go to mom and pop stores. We got to get on the same page here. We got to support each other because they're not doing it for us. I'm telling Paul, going up to 99 here out in the Central Valley of California is one of the most depressing things I've ever done. Great people, the cities are great, but in between you look at the farms and these corporate farms and you look at how these people are fucking living, I'm telling you, they're straight up fucking evil, dude.

They're straight up fucking evil. These fucking cunts at the top taking all the money and not paying anybody and not wanting to pay anybody keep coming up with these Excuses and blaming immigrants and all of this shit. It's like it's like no, it's you It's you fucking nerds with your pen and pencils. All right, Paul, let's talk football I got a question for you though real quick before we get into us. Where do you stand with avocado? Look where I stand with it. Yeah, I got my fucking arm around it saying what did you fucking say to this avocado? Oh, you love him you got an avocado's back fuck well I will I will I eat one fucking plane it's a great source it's a great

source of what they call it that that fat that you need the fat that you need it's fucking fantastic trans fat not the trans fat that's the shit McDonald's it is a city kid you you hear trans, transportation, you just fucking think this is a good thing. There's a lot of transgender. I just think. Transmission, there's a lot out there. Which, which, not the trans that makes you lose your career,

the other trans. No, I heard, I, I do like avocado on on some things but i don't like it near my eggs that's it i don't like my eggs gotta be you know kind of separate i feel like but i get that's it's two mushy things you don't want them together yeah it's a different taste but uh no an avocado you don't like mushy shit you don't like avocado you don't like corn you don't like peas you don't like avocado. You don't like corn. You don't like peas. You don't like that shit Corn and peas. I don't know why they're on earth. I don't know why they're on earth I'll do corn in the cob in August with fucking butter salt and pepper on it If you don't like that Paul, I fuck you. I'll finish the corn and cob and I'll stab you with the fucking stock Hey, what a way to go, okay Hey, what a way to go, okay? Oh, he's still breathing. He's still breathing.

That thing over here. Paul, I gotta tell you something. Yeah, I gotta find these lines. You get me a fucking whatever, some sort of meat, and I got mashed potatoes with peas right next to them. My Scottish, Irish, English blood goes through the fucking roof. It's delicious. It's amazing, Paul, how I can cross the street.

Okay, into your Italian neighborhood. Well, I mean, it's Italian food. That's just, that's not a fair comparison. I was gonna say, I enjoy your cuisine. It's like, well, you know, it's the fucking best on earth. Hey. Would you say this? The Japanese are the Italians of Asia.

The, I would say this Japanese is second of all time of food. I say Italian, Japanese cuisines, one and two. Japanese are also the white people of Asia, if you've read your history. Is that right? Let's just say they have a high sense of self, and I'll leave it at that. I'm better than you. Ever see that? Ever see that on the Simpsons? That little kid singing the song about his rich dad? That's great. He's singing this whole

song about how much money his dad has. He goes, my dad can buy and sell. Yeah, I'm better than you. Andrew, Andrew, can you send me the lines again to my text please? Because I can't find them. I believe I go first this week. Paul, I think you should go first every week, the fucking display you're putting on. Why ruin what it is that you're doing? Let's...

Why put the number nine hitter in front of the guy back in cleanup? That's what I say. Oh, here's one that I'm going to give for the show. By the way, I got a lot of, thank you, Andrew. I got a lot of people reaching out saying this is by far the best sports show because we mix humor with it. And they were like, we, uh, a lot of people saying I don't watch football and you guys made me watch it and understand it. I also heard a guy saying you're making me money,

but I got to put this out there on the show. I had a guy tell me, you know, we watched his show and he came out of the closet. I mean, we're just doing all kinds of things here, Paul. Dude, you know what, anything better. I use a different bathroom, okay? No, I was gonna say, I said something on Twitter yesterday. I will say it on here since we are a sports leaning show. Juan Soto will not go to the Yankees. I'm gonna say that my

prediction is the reason why Juan Soto won't go to the Yankees, even if the Yankees match a $700 million thing like the Mets are going to try to do or the Dodgers can try to do the reason why Juan Soto and this is just a prediction will not go will not stay with the Yankees is because I don't believe Juan Soto Wants to be a place where Aaron judge is really the man and the captain and it's his team Speaking for everybody wasn't a Yankee fan who the fuck is Juan Soto What do you mean? I'm just saying he's fucking acting like he's the lead singer on that team. He's not right

You're the regular guitarist and he wants Aaron judge. Yeah, that's right. It's fucking Cecil Cooper. It's Bob Watson. Sorry, not interrupted as always. No, no, no. I think that Aaron judge being the captain and the Yankee guy wants Soto wants to be that

somewhere else. I don't think he liked playing second fiddle to him. And that's my prediction. Even if the Yankees match the price, you heard it here on anything better. Let's go. Here's my question, Paul. How fucking, if that's true, how dumb a mindset is that? I mean, I could be wrong, but I think it's dumb. I think we got to win. You got to win. Dude him and Judge could win. First of all who the fuck can't play second fiddle to Paul Bunyan? The guy's nine feet

tall mass of muscle. He's like a Mickey Mantle stacked on top of Mickey Mantle. I'm not saying what the stats. Relax old school Yankee fans. I'm just saying it's, it's, it's his fucking team. Yeah. Uh, I do like how he fucking she stares at the pitcher. No, he's a great batter, but he's an average fielder. And he's all the way, the way he takes the picture out of his game. It is great because he makes you mad. He goes, all you want to do is throw the fucking ball right here.

And that's, and that's going to put them on base. It's fucking genius. I don't know why more guys don't do that. Do you realize how amazing baseball would be if every hitter went up there and just had absolutely no fear of getting beat in the head and just tried to fucking troll the pitcher. I was fucking watching the playoffs. Like I was getting upset watching them. I'm always like, Oh, I'm like, this pitch is not afraid of you, you fucking asshole. And then I realized, oh my God, this is why he does this. This is amazing. And then I immediately became a huge fan of his. Dude, here's how good the Dodgers were. Oh, Tony was like two for 18. Did nothing because

he was injured and they fucking still beat us. That's how good that team is. Well, Paul, you know, when you spent over $300 million, I mean, but you guys were up there too. I can't, I haven't looked at team salaries in a long time. Like I remember if you had a 200 million, that was a fucking, yeah, 200 million dollar team. It's like you guys are getting littered with free agents and you're over 300. Like how much fucking money are these guys making?

Dude, the Dodgers spent a billion on two guys the two Japanese guys They spent a billion one was 700 one was 500 right Jake is that right? All right, let's get into this. Yeah over the course of their career. They're gonna play him a billion dollars Yeah, it's over there a billion dollars over their crib, but still that's two fucking guys All right, let's I mean I could pay for a week in Iraq Paul. I mean, this is fucking great. What are we doing? All right All right All right, uh Week number 12 my first pick is it my first pick did bill go first last week. Oh, what do we got?

injury report wise Jake to snake The biggest ones are coming from San Francisco Nick Bosa. He got hurt last week. He came out of the game. He's been fucking held. He's been held for two years. It finally caught up with him. He's got neck burn from his jersey getting yanked like this. So he might not play, but they're getting George Kittle back and Brock Purdy is also questionable, but it sounds like he's going to be out there. My buddy who drives me to the airport, he's a big Niners fan, there. It's my buddy who drives me to the airport. He he's a big Niners fan, dude. It's over for them. I hate to say it, but they're they're tired that what they went three Super Bowls in

the last four or five years. It's and they're breaking down McCaffrey's hurt. I heard one analyst go, dude, the Niners are just exhausted and they are it's I hate to say it, but they're finished for a while, I think. Hey, Paul, guess what? I'm. I hate to say it, but they're finished for a while, I think. Hey Paul, guess what? I'm tired too, you know, but I'm showing up for the podcast. Yeah, you don't fucking stop. You don't stop.

I have a wife, you don't think I'm being held back? Huh? Thank you, Jack. You know that guy? No, that guy, I'm just kidding. There's always that guy. Yeah, he said, I got kids too. I'm fucking tired.

Yeah. Comparing doing a podcast to playing professional football. Hey, well guess what? You got a job, you know? You think I want to get up every morning and put my pants on one leg at a time? I fought for this country so guys like you can play football. Look at all that. I thought you said it.

He fought for this country. He didn't serve. I was in the can play football. The goal is there. Everybody's doing it. Wait, you fought for this country, you didn't serve. I was in the Cubs counts. Look, a uniform is a uniform. I take that discipline with me to work every day. His wife's complaining, my wife's complaining. You think I don't know my wife's fucking the neighbor? Cause I do. I'm gonna toughen out this holiday season and not bring it up till after New Year's.

Oh shit dude, I'm crying. Oh, the guy that compares is one of my, it's one of the, he's got kids, I don't got kids, you know that guy? I don't got kids. I'll tell you a story. I'll tell you story guy working for the Bristol Fire Department goes up a ladder There's a cat in the tree All right, I think

Indignant whatever the fuck that is. Why is my face so fucking red? I just know you look good. You look healthy I look fucking pale. I don't know. You look good. You look healthy. I look fucking pale. I don't know what's going on with this fucking light. Oh, dude, you know what we're doing? Paul, you look like the mozzarella. We're going to knock the wall down over here. I'm going to make a bigger office.

All right, let's get into this. Paul, why don't you just get fucking have a yard sale? You know that guy too? That guy? Paul, have a yard sale. Don't knock down the wall in your fucking house. Why are you going to knock a wall down? No, no, just a closet wall.

Right here is a closet that we don't use. So they're just gonna make shoes. Yeah. You know the guy. Paulie, Paulie, where you put your shoes, you don't have a closet. You know the guy that. Remember that, on every mob movie?

Paulie, wait, wait. Paulie, let's think about this. What, what, what, you got your whole future ahead of you. You take that closet, where, you got your whole future ahead of you. You take, you take that closet, where you gonna push your shoes? Paulie, think about your mother. What, what is this gonna do to your mother? You take out the closet. Come on, sit down, have a cut. Sit down, have a cut with me. Paulie, Paulie, you're breaking my heart. As you walk away, you're breaking my heart. You know what I like? I like the guy that points to shit in his house that he did.ie, you're breaking my heart as you walk away. You're breaking my heart.

You know what I like? I like the guy that points to shit in his house that he did. Yeah, you see up there? No, no, we were gonna, we lowered it. You know what I can't, he goes like this. He goes, no, we lowered it. We're gonna keep, I'm telling you, for the ventilation.

He's catching you right in the middle of a bike. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. And then he knows that he's losing it so he puts that hand on your shoulder. Come on. He starts guiding you around his fucking house. You meet Bill yet? You meet Bill? The point that he did shit, guys, you could give a fuck you could give a fuck not a ventilation wasn't coming through over there there was a we there was like a little

air and then he like yeah all right man it's great you changed you changed some shit i i wouldn't notice it looks original to the house uh okay here we go week number two i'm crying this is a great one all right here we go my Week number two, I'm crying. This is a great one. All right, here we go. My first pick this week, I have not really looked at these guys, but, um, oh, my God, that's a big line for the commanders, dude.

Why are the commanders 10 and a half over the Cowboys? That's a big one. Because they have my third cousin under center. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Uh... On the back of his jersey, it says who the fuck is that? No, wait a minute. Is that that kid from the Longhorns? Jake the snake.

Who do you who's who's who's under center for the nobody's under center. They're all in shotgun. Who's taking a long look at the center's ass this week for the for the for the Cowboys. They got this guy Cooper Rush back there. Cooper Rush. Yeah, he's a I like that. It's cool, man. All right.

My first pick, guys, I'm going to go with the theme I said I love, by the way, the 49ers. I met a bunch of great people. I think it's kind of coming to an end for a little bit. I'm going to take the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field minus three. I think that they're a great team and I think they're playing a team that's a little beaten up and tired. I like that it's only three and I like that the Packers are at home. Jordan Love, everybody over there seems healthy.

Packers minus three at home against the reeling San Francisco 49ers. All right. I'm going to take the Arizona Cardinals minus one going into Seattle because Seattle keeps winning and who the fuck do they think they are? Paul, who do they think they are? They think they're just going to win out the rest of the year. They think you're going to play a division rivalry. Kyla Murray running around like a fucking water bug.

I don't think so. I think he goes in there. He bangs some white chick in the rain, and then he goes and he beats the Seahawks. That's what I'm saying. Did you see Kyler Murray at Joe's Pizza by the Comedy Cellar the other day in that video? Oh dude, what is our bet? What's our bet? We have a Kyler Murray bet. We do? We do. What is it? Well I can't say it because he's gonna see this and then get inspired oh yes oh yeah no you're right you're a hundred percent yeah I was gonna say cuz who gives a fuck no yeah I said at some point he's

gonna have a weight issue yeah I agree something about his face he was eating the pizza and he looked just looks like he goes to Daily Donuts to me. I don't know why, but he's still in shape, but there's something about his face. It just says in the future. He's going to have a happy off season. But I will say this, I thought Carmelo Anthony was too, and Carmelo Anthony's like five, six years removed from the NBA and he's fucking nice and thin still.

So he works out. He's holding it together. Good ladies, man. Paul, you know, he knows what he's doing. He smokes cigars. I think smoking the cigars, you know, curbs the appetite. Yes. Yeah.

No, Kyler Murray was at Joe's pizza and it says this guy doesn't know that he's standing next to Kyler Murray and Kyler Murray's got just a hat on and a jean jacket, totally looked like a civilian and he's eating pizza and there's a guy next to him and he goes, what's your name man? And the guy says, oh, I'm Sharana or whatever, a guy was from Sweden and he goes, what's your name? And he goes, I'm Kyler. And he's like, what kind of pizza did you get? They're just eating it, hammering it and stuff. And dude, he's little, he's like five. He's regular people's size. Dude, he's like Drew Brees. Drew Brees was five, 10. He's like, dude, he's little, he's like five. He's regular people's size. Dude, he's like Drew Brees.

Drew Brees was 5'10". He's like, dude, Drew Brees was like your size, Bill. And he's an MVP Super Bowl champion. Oh, I know. Kyler Murray has a clothing line at the Gap. Gap kids. Yeah. Okay.

What did you pick, Bill? You picked the- I picked the fucking Cardinals, Paul. Okay. You's, what did you pick, Bill? You picked the- I picked the fucking Cardinals, Paul. Okay. You know why, Paul? Cause I realized it's my life, you know? And I'm not gonna be silent anymore. That's the woman version of the guy going,

you know, I put my pants on every day. I got, I'm gonna take the Kansas City Chiefs minus- I realize the gap and that last thing just bombed. Go ahead. I'm not that delusional. Yeah, but no, I'm looking at lines. Nobody's Jake goes.

That was funny. No, I'm looking at line didn't buy. I'm gonna take the Chiefs minus 11. After a loss. Hey, Paul, why don't you take everything that I want? You know, you selfish bastard. I didn't know. What are you trying to?

Ah! Dude, that was the classic kid from Divorce. Like it's such a ridiculous thing to accuse you of, you still apologize. I didn't know. Because of my dad. Because of my dad, man. Yeah, look, they're playing the Panthers, and they're coming off a loss.

I mean, 11's a lot, though, but we'll see. Hey, I'm gonna take the New England Patriots plus seven and a half with Drew Locke. I don't know. Is that the name of our quarter? Drake May. Sorry. Drew Locke. Where the fuck did I take that?

Drake May. Oh, Billy, no sleep. I'll take the Patriots seven and a half going down to Miami. You know, maybe somebody scores an eight ball to get a little more amped up on fucking defense and they take it to a two attack at the two of a D but Daba and we fucking cover. Should I do it to be a little fun? I'm going to do it to be a little fun? I'm going to do it to be a little fun.

I'm going to take the New York football giants, Tommy DeVito, getting six at home against the Buccaneers. Let's see what happens. I'm not going to fucking say anything, but I swear to God, if I got a fucking deal with the fucking, oh my God, a third string quarterback is in the Giants, let's make this a national fucking story. Because anything that happens in New York is so, he likes Cuppets, he likes him this way, he likes him now, look at his fucking uncle dressed like he's in The Godfather.

Oh my God. He likes him now. Look at his fucking uncle dressed like he's in The Godfather. Yeah. Yep. Oh my God. Yep. Anyway, uh, yeah, whatever. Whatever. Uh, I'm going to go, I'm going to take the Ravens. Mine is three Monday night.

Cause who the fuck did the charges think they are? Paul, they think he gets to go around slapping around the Bengals. And then next week, the Ravens are going gonna come in and bring you back down to earth and Remind you you only get one of two things perfect weather or a good football team Yeah, I like it Paul you're fucking killing me this week because you haven't looked at the lines. I'm doing jokes You're not fucking do you not you're giving me nothing. Oh, I'm sorry, dude

I you know what I feel like right now. I feel like a coach that lost the team. That's what I feel like I'm talking they're looking down that they're reading shit that it's not paying attention They lost they're shaking a wish I even watched a second of hockey but my Bruins have been playing so bad We already got rid of our coach the Thanksgiving, Paul. It's pretty early. Whoa. Well, I mean, Paul, they haven't even put the Christmas lights up yet, okay? I mean, it's a, what is it, a month old season?

Not even? Well, the ice was still slushy. Oh my God. And this guy got fired. Nobody's even caught a cold yet, Paul. And this guy got fired. No, he did something to somebody. He said something rude to somebody's wife.

No, he lost the locker room. That quickly? That quick, it happened very quickly. That's a tough one. Hey Paul, it's gonna be, they're gonna be playing silent night on Thanksgiving there, all right? I gotta. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm just in a stupid mood, dude. Angelo Lazado rest his soul. Me and him were on a podcast years ago and we were talking about how the Knicks fired their coach and we were crying, laughing, going, you're looking for them in the bathroom and he goes, yo, Mike, they're asking for you. He goes, who's asking? Yo, who's asking? Dude, we were crying. You know what the worst thing about getting fired

at that level is the amount of people that know it before you do. You sense it and then people just start acting weird in the halls as you walk by. It's just gotta be, but I know, but going back to the Jets, nobody did it. Can I say goodbye to the team? You get your shit, you get the fuck out. You just took the words out of my mouth. Not letting you address your guys is, I mean, they walked into the car, they said.

Shit. Yeah, like holding his fucking arm. Guys, I know we didn't make the playoffs, it wasn't that bad. We sold a lot of merch! We sold a lot of merch! This isn't my car. Let me talk to Aaron! Let me just talk to Aaron!

Aaron Rodgers. You tell that thin-faced cunt, he's the reason why I'm out here right now. I hope he has a good holiday. I took the vaccine. I took the vaccine. I got it twice. I got it twice. I got it twice! I got the booster! I got the booster! Oh shit.

My wife made a move on me! It didn't react! I blame Monsanto! I blame Monsanto! Alright, I'm sorry. Oh god. If this isn't what- He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He doesn't have to take it, but I do!

He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He doesn't have to take it, but I do!

He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He doesn't have to take it, but I do! He's trying to lower the window, yelling as he's leaving. Uh, oh shit. Uh, oh shit. Uh, oh shit. You're gonna suck before I'm out here, and you're gonna suck after.

Joe Namath was a fluke. It was a conspiracy to merge the leagues. Oh God, Bill. All right. Oh my God. All right, with my fourth, oh my, dude, this hurts. My fourth and final pick. I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do do. I'm going to do something. I'll be a third. I've only I've only picked two teams.

I got the Cardinals and the Reds and the Patriots. You're right. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, Jesus, Andrew, you have to do that for me. But you just flash you're wrong. All right. I got it. All right. What do you got to take as much as I hate to do this, dude? They're flying. No pun intended. I'm hate to do this, dude, they're flying. No pun intended.

I'm going to take the Eagles minus three against the Rams. Saquon Barkley watching what he's doing. What can I say? The Eagles minus three. All right. Real quick, real quick, real quick. Jake, the snake. Is any of their receivers back for the Rams? I know they had a bunch of anybody. Yeah, they anybody back?

Yeah, they're back. And then Devontae Smith has been practicing this week for the Eagles. So that's the other injury I was going to mention. So we'll see. Friday, we'll tell us if he's playing or not. All right. There you go, Paul. Look at me.

Look at me looking out for you. I'm taking the Eagles still. Thank you though, Bill. You know, Paul, when I come in one and three, you know, I feel I got to spread that around, you know, just let people know. People know what's going on. I'm just I'm fucking Billy favorites this week. You know, do I need to take a dog, Paul?

You got the Patriots in there. Oh, I do. I'm just really confused. I don't even know what... Patriots. Paul, please don't say my picks again out loud. You're gonna make me cry on the road. I'm just going through mine.

I got Giants, Chiefs, Eagles, and Packers. I'm done. So you got the last one. Paul, I realize you're done. You got four, and you're still running your yap. I didn't remember. Paul, listen, I'm just giving you shit because I don't you're still running your yap. I didn't remember. Paul, listen, I'm just giving you shit because I don't know what I'm... All right, here we go. Let's take out the magic glasses. Let's see if we can find a fucking winner here.

Jesus Christ. Now the Buccaneers, Paul, who do they play for? Is that New Jersey? I think I'm going to take the Lions. Mine is seven and a half because I'm a fucking idiot. Because they had a big game last week. I know that Richardson kid is back. Uh, seven and a half. Why do they gotta go seven and a half? Don't you dare write that yet, Andrew. Don't you? You keep your fucking guitar playing fingers away from that.

All right, fucking I'm going Lions. I'm going Lions. You know what I want to be, Paul? I want to be the relatable gambler. The guy who can't fucking throw it in the ocean. That's what I got. Oh, Jesus, Paul, look at that. All right. You know what my picks look like this week?

You ever see somebody who's been married five times and you see their first four wives? Like, what the fuck was he doing? Then he finally gets it right. I like those picks. I like all our picks. We're gonna go eight and O with these picks. And that's the difference. That's the difference, Paul.

New York and Boston. Yeah. No, don't put Boston on me. It's Paul and me. That's right. Okay, let's stop with the New York winter fucking things. Chad Smith's guys. Okay, let's let's let's stop with the New York winter fucking things Jets Mets guys. That's just Mets guys They dragged

It drag it down. There's Jersey Jets Mets guys with their shoulders and slumped over that off-track betting thing. I'm telling you I'm Frank Sinatra song does not take away Jets Mets fans. Oh Then choose the Knicks of the Rangers You're still fucked. You're still fucked. Uh, Nick's hopefully if you go, if you go Yankees Giants, what you get is this was what you look in there right there. Paul Bursey. Look

at that. Look at the light. Look at the light. No, I mean, look, come on. Paul, you've seen a lot. Five World Series. Yeah. Four Super Bowls. Look at you. Nothing with the Knicks, though. Hey, Paul, don't be a cunt, all right? It's not how life works. You don't get everything.

I want one. I want one. I need one. You like that side piece that thinks, you know, thinks the guy's gonna leave his wife. It's not happening. I would take- The Knicks, the Knicks are done, Paul. I would, no, they're not. God doesn't like them.

You see how serious I took it? No, they're not, they're, they're, all right. Monday night special. We just did one more piece. We just need one more piece. This guy got hurt. Every fucking year Paul, breaks my heart. You just, you made me sound like Dice Clay. G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g Don't you wish you played for the Knicks? Yeah, no, no, I know. This was the fans. Oh, the guy, the guy of KD, yeah. Yo, KD.

Paul, this is my impression of the New York Knicks. No rings. Oh. I got two. I think they... Oh, my God, Paul, come on. They were the size of my wedding ring. That's how small those rings were.

Those were mobster pinky rings that they got. No, I'm gonna be honest with you, Paul. The day the fucking Knicks win, I'm gonna be so happy for you. I'm not gonna be happy for James Talon Harris. I'm not gonna be. That guy, that guy, oh my God, the level of shit that that

guy talks you think that they were winning. I gotta be honest with you if they win my son Lucas is going to my son Lucas makes me look like I'm not even a Knicks fan. What the level he gives a fuck going to his room slamming things happy hugging when they went he's going to break down. And I'll be right there guilty that you did that to him. happy hugging when they went. He's going to break down. And I'll be right there with you. Guilty that you did that to him. I I dude I only took him to games. I didn't go that nuts.

He went hard. They're not that far away, Paul. Listen, I just gave him a little taste. I didn't know. I took the kid to the garden. I wet his beak. You want to know what's funny? Lucas is now 5'10", and lanky, and I still hug him and kiss him and tell him I love him

like I always did, but now it looks like I'm his son because he just puts his huge arms around me. I'm just picturing you on your tiptoes and your Air Max. He's kissing the top of your head, giving you a lunchbox. All right, son, I got to go gamble. Okay, dad. You know what he said to me the other day? He goes, dad, because dude, he's like so smart, my kid, right?

And he goes, he goes, dad, I think it's time. He makes like high honor roll. He's like, you know, on varsity in basketball young. He's just a great well rounded kid. He goes, Dad, I think it's time you and mom get me a gambling account. And he goes, because I know my I go, buddy, you're not getting a gambling account. He goes, why? Just give me one reason why I go, you're 15 years old, you're not gambling. Okay. And he goes, it would just be

little I said you're not and then I go, fine, fine. You want to know that you don't have money. And he goes, it would just be a little, I said, you're not, and then I go, fine, fine, you wanna know that, you don't have money. And he goes, I know, that's why I need to gamble. I gotta get them. Oh no. He was half joking, but I just burst out laughing. He goes, I know, that's why I need some money. All right, we got the Monday night special

and it is the, I'm with Bill. I like the Ravens minus three. Sorry, Jake the Snake. I think... I'll be there. You'll be there? I do. When I make that joke about

perfect weather, I still think they're in San Diego. I'm never gonna get past that. L.A.'s close enough. Tell that to people in San Diego that grew up with Dan Foulkes and all those San Diego

superchargers. All right. What's the under-over on Lamar Jackson rushing y'all? Diego that grew up with Dan Fouts and all those San Diego superchargers. All right. What's the under over on Lamar Jackson rushing yards, Andrew? Let's do that, dude. Lamar is going to run. Andrew Thamless is, oh, there he is.

Yeah, they'll probably run all over us. Andrew was on the phone with the stockbroker trying to move around his trust fund money. His total yards is 51. Right? Or no? No. Uh, I can't click it. Lamar Jackson rushing yards.

42. 42. Oh, Paul. Under? They just... 42. Oh, Paul, under they just I listen to I don't want to fuck that. You don't want to do that one. All right. I don't like that one. Okay.

Ravens Moneyline to start. You want to do we could do what to call we could do Herbert to throw one and Lamar to throw one. Herbert, Herbert throw on definitely. I like the Lamar one too. You can go Derek Henry to run one. Oh, let's do that. Let's do Herbert to throw one, Derek Henry to run one.

Derek Henry is the superhero. And then we'll take the Ravens. It's like if Iron Man was playing football. He's amazing. Or the Hulk. Yeah, the fact that a man that size that looks like a middle linebacker runs like that is unbelievable, man. Yeah, I'm amazed limbs don't come off when that guy goes through the fucking line. And I believe candidate for MVP again, man, King Henry. Yeah, him and Lamar was almost out of the NFL, was almost out of the NFL after year one or two. And then somebody was like,

dude, what the fuck are you doing? I think it was Eddie George. If my memory's correct, Eddie, Eddie George went up to him and goes, dude, what the fuck are you doing, man? You could own this fucking league. You need to start playing with some heart. And then fucking he just changed. Wow. Um, I mean, I thought it was an inspiring story, but I don't think this podcast got quiet. No, you know what? I was thinking of, did you ever see that Barstool sports thing when that kid was gambling? No. The dudes rooting for him. He's one card away. He's like, Eddie, to And then he didn't want to. But he fucking rolled over and just started laughing going, I'm sorry, my favorite thing was, he goes, that shouldn't have happened.

That's the greatest thing ever. Like it was this fucking tragedy. Like that never should have. No, Bill, what about him with the- Dave Portnoy, Dave Portnoy. What about him with the- No, his other guy, his buddy Jerry. He's going, come on, sweetie.

Come on, get him, sweetie. Get him, sweetie. He goes, she lost. And then he goes, no, she won. She won. She lost. Oh, God. What about that dude?

Come on, you six. Come on. He's doing that, he's got the muffin top, he's standing there in his jeans with his fucking belly hanging over. And before that he's walking around going, you're so stupid, you don't bet the ponies, you always lose, you always lose.

Come on, you six. Come on, he's doing like, what the fuck is like? He's like. He's like. He's like. He's like the fuck is like? I love when the guy slaps his own ass with the betting. Yeah. Oh, God. He's riding the horse. That's fucking amazing. Classic. That's just complete failure as a parent. Bill, that snap of

the finger is amazing. Oh, that's what happens when you're not there to teach a kid how to ride a bike. I'm telling you, that's what it ends up. By the way, shout out to Andrew Szemlis, who just made this look like a professional sports show. That was amazing with your graphics there, Andrew. Oh, wonderful. You had the lineups, you had the prop bets,

you had us in little boxes. ESPN got nothing on you. All right. All right, guys, so there you have it. We're gonna take the Monday night special is going to be the Ravens minus three. King and the green. I watched that one.

Ha ha ha! Ah! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! He goes, he's a scythe. I like the jump.

I love the unathletic jump. Like when he goes, he goes like this, he goes. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! he goes. Watch the jump Paul. Watch his leg and his arm. It's like there's a string on it together. I'm sorry, I went the wrong way. It's like this. This is great. I love how he goes to riding it too. So good.

Hey. Andrew, so good. Hey! Andrew, Andrew, you're on point today, kid. We should also point out, I don't know if you guys watched the game last night, but Russell Wilson in a Steelers uniform marching down the field in the snow in Cleveland on a Thursday night, it's like, this is why the NFL is the best product.

Like, I don't know, I mean, that was, what a great game that was. He was starting to look like old school Russell Joe. I think he just didn't like the altitude is the best product. Like, I mean, what a great game that was. He was starting to look like old school Russell Jones. I think he just didn't like the altitude in the Broncos in my life. I mean, the snow, I mean, how fun was that game? I mean, yeah. Well, you know what was great?

It was the weather channel was going like, oh my God, these storms are clean. Because they had an arm, for some reason, the weather channel. And then they cut to the game and it's Cleveland and it's just like snow flurries Jamis Winston I just have to say this Jamis Winston is going to be a Crazy old man because now every time he talks it's getting to a level like he they just go and listen I love the guy but he he goes they go what do you think about this weather and he just goes I just have to thank God in this football weather

in the snow in Cleveland Ohio tonight in this thing started quarter and it's like oh dude he's gonna be he's a few years away dude yeah the first question she asked he was just like you know just gonna thank God blah blah, blah, blah. And she's like, okay. She's like, so that's great. That's why you think we're here. Okay. So what about the weather? And he goes, God again. It was just like, you just go to that every time. Cleveland, Ohio? It was just like, all right.

All his teammates said, this is the funniest thing I've ever heard a teammate say about a quarterback. They go, every time he kneels down in the huddle to give the play, it sounds like he's whispering a surprise. Like, all right. Hey, $300 million. Was it right? $300 million?

Yeah. Keep bad people away from that guy. I'm rooting for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, somebody's gonna come in and fucking try to get and invest in a steakhouse or something. Just watch out for that. Anybody who's handling his money.

All right, what we got? We got the Ravens. We got the Ravens. We got Iron Man to do what? Score one, run one? Henry to run one and Herbert to throw one. And that, that's it everybody for week number 12. Holy shit dude, it's over.

It's over, season's over. Did you see Michigan got the number one quarterback in the country yesterday? They flipped him from LSU. Did they? Yeah, or no, I apparently paid ten million dollars for this guy That's I heard you guys bring up barstool. So I was like Wait, what? No, I hate

Apparently barstool offered the kid ten million dollars. That's the rumor. But um, but yeah, he decommitted from LSU He's going to Michigan. I asked you a question. What the fuck is happening to this country? That's gotta be, that's gotta be legal. Hey, at least he's getting some money, not the fucking boosters. That's true, but I'm just saying, dude, it's like, this used to be backroom shit, dude. Yeah. Right? I'm not shitting on bars, dude.

What they did, fucking God bless them. That's always been done, but you did it in the woods. You did it behind an IHOP. That's how it fucking went down on the hood of a fucking gold Trans Am. That's how you you did it in the woods. You did it behind an IHOP. That's how it fucking went down on the hood of a fucking gold Trans Am. That's how you fucking did it. That's how Dion did it. Politicians openly saying we can inside a trade.

The Supreme Court going, you can fucking bribe a politician now it's called a gratuity. Paul, these are fucking, this is crazy. What did we get rid of the mob flow, Paul? So all of these white collar guys could do it legally? Right when the mob left, everything went to hell. Just saying. It was all smooth before that.

No, no, but yeah. Listen, this is the thing. The mob was regulated because what they were doing was fucking illegal. Corporations, corporations. What murder? Bill, he was the best guy around. What about all the people he murdered? What murders?

There you go. He was the best guy around. What murders? What murders? murders. He was the best guy around. What about my flight man? Like what was he trying to do? He was just trying to make noise. All right, guys, well, listen, I was the best husband around. What about all the side horse? Why?

It works. Paul, it works for any any subject oh no I got the best diet around what about all that McDonald's what make it's got all the empty containers in the back all right all right hey I gotta, Paul, like this fucking tour is one of my favorite tours I've ever done. I started in Ojai. I did a three in the afternoon show at a little fucking amphitheater and like the whole fucking town showed up. That's awesome.

And I literally go, I did some joke. I go, Jesus Christ, this lady is going to go tell the mayor. They go, he's here. Oh, that's great. It felt like it was in a Christmas movie. the bodies and just fucking regular people with their own businesses that's, you know, some pep boys didn't come in and take away. Did Modesto last night. Tonight, I'm in Stockton, home of the Diaz brothers and who's that musician? I will always love you. I'm not going to try to hit that high note.

Not Whitney Houston. Not Whitney Houston. Whitney Houston was from New Jersey, yeah. Yeah. No, I know, but I will always love you. Dolly Parton wrote it. No, no, no. No, I will never fall. No, I will never fall. Oh, my God. I know.

Dude, I yelled so much on stage this week. I can't even. Chris Isaac! I think he's... Yeah, that's who it is. All right. Uh... I sound like I ruptured my spleen halfway through there. No, this has been one of the funniest anything betters

that I've... This is the best. This is the best. And guess what? You people got the best team. You got the best injury report guy. You got the best producer. You got the best host. What more do you want? The best sports show around. What about all those losses?

What losses? I was just thinking that. What about the times they went 0-4? What 0-4? Never. Daniel Jones, he's the best quarterback around. They just put a Tommy Cutlass. What Cutlass? Paul, what about your Mark Sanchez prediction?

What prediction? You said this guy's special. No, I said he's a star. He's a star. And then who did you have? I had, mine was Sanchez. You had Sam. Who was Sam? He went a star. He's a star. And then who did you have? I had mine was Sanchez. You had Sam, who was Sam? He went to Oklahoma.

Oh, Bradford. Sad Bradford. Sad Bradford, I believe in Sad Bradford. And Paul, you and I will never walk away from those. It's just, it's gonna follow us. I knew Sam Bradford wasn't when, when he was in street clothes, they were like Pete Carroll khakis

and he was in his twenties. I was like oh come on that's Eli where maybe that was it it was it was it was residual from losing to the Giants I thought this guy dresses like Eli I believe in him what khakis oh by the way by the way if Eli should be first first fucking ballot Hall of Famer. Why'd you have to do that? Don't do that now. Did it already come and go? No, no, it didn't come and go. But if he doesn't, it's going to be, dude, just clear your text. Hey, clear your text if he doesn't.

Well, if he doesn't get in, it's because of the New York sports media that never fucking appreciated him. They didn't like him because he was a southerner. That's what the fuck it was. And then also, they're fucking lazy in New York, the sports writers. They want you to come in with a fur coat, dressed like Joe Namath and going out in the town so it fucking, the article writes itself. That's what it is.

And that fucking guy, dude, I'm telling you, the bigger the game, the better he fucking played. And those fat cunts and the sports writers, all they ever did. Dude, the guy had two rings on his finger and they were still coming after him. Still coming after him. I was at a Monday night football game

where at the Giants place with a guy next to me, Giants fan, they're playing the Rams and he just goes, I don't know if he's the guy after the fucking Super Bowl. I mean, it's, it's. After the fucking Super Bowl, you hopped out of your chair on that one, Paul. How about this? Get Bayless, get Bay on that one, Paul. How about this? Skip Bayless, Skip Bayless saying it was luck.

How about this? He's more clutch than his brother ever was. How about that? He's more clutch than Peyton. He just was, Peyton. 100% he was. 100% is a Patriots fan. I don't wanna see Eli.

I wanna see Peyton getting all upset with his team. We have protection issues. Dude, this is how good Eli is. When I did that fucking show, all Peyton kept doing was with the team. We have protection issues. Do this is how good Eli is when I did that fucking show all Peyton kept doing was bringing up was the shit that he liked it to us. Yeah. And because he had not said and I'm not trying to be a dick because I never want to highlight somebody's negative shit but he threw a pick to lose a Super Bowl man. Eli went to two and play but I don't want to sit on page because love Peyton because you know what that fucking guy showed up on Tom Brady day and

Everybody gave him a fucking standing ovation and he was funny as fucking hell and he was self-deprecating about that guy's coolest shit I would never shit on Peyton. However when I did that show The only way he could try to get to me was bringing up what his little brother did So maybe he's just a proud older brother Paul. There you go. It's the holiday season. Let's spin it in a positive way. I love, I love Peyton, man. I love when you used to sing that bill when you used to go dooby dooby doo. What was the holiday season? Oh, it's the holiday season. Dooby dooby doo. All right, guys, listen, and avoiding your dad as you go in the back door. Because he's a fucking lunatic who bangs your mom. Sorry.

What about when you didn't show up on the holidays? What holidays? I gave you the best toys around. Alright we're killing that. Let's go. Let's get out of here. Alright here we go guys. Thank you. Those are our picks. Go to download the Bed MGM app on your device and use our code burr. You put a minimum of $10 in there and if the bet loses you'll get

$1500 in bonus bets back. Also the first touchdown offer guys is you do a prop bet you pick anybody on any NFL team to score the first touchdown of any game and if they do you win if they don't but they're second you'll still get your cash back so that's a good deal bet responsibly we always say just bet to have fun and we will see you next week oh guys if you're watching this tonight this comes out today right guys, if you're watching this tonight, this comes out today, right? Andrew? Yes, I will be at the the new the newly renovated Providence comedy comedy connection. I'll be there tonight for two. And I'm hearing that shows are selling out starting to sell out tomorrow too. So check that out. Go to

Paul Rosie. Hey, send me a video. I came up in that room, dude. I want to see what they did to it. Oh, I will. Yeah, I will. And we'll I saw a bill there in 2000. I saw a bill I saw you there in 2008. There you go. I was there in 2008. And the guys dude, the guys bought it. You know what, I we had tickets. I showed my ex had a death in the family. And I'm like, yeah, we're like, we're gonna still go It's like the next day you'll just it'll cheer you up, dude We went let's just say we went okay

I died the whole time and then I got home. I'm like repeating jokes. It's like still this song atmosphere. Oh, Jesus No, no, I think the worst fucking sound for like 10 years, and then they finally fixed it and the room became magic. No, they bought it from the guy that owned it, and now they bought it from what's his name. Bill Blumenreich. They bought it from him, and it was great. They fixed a lot of things.

Hey, bro, I'm trying to get you down on that Providence book, I'll blow it out. And now it's amazing. And then they just bought the Apollo Theater that's in Providence book. I'll blow it out. And now it's amazing. And then they just bought the Apollo Theater that's in Providence. So these guys are making moves. It's a great room. I'll see you there this weekend.

And shout out to Bill Glummenreich, man. He's one of my favorite promoters in the country. Bill, you can stay at my house. You can drive my car. I don't give a fuck. I just want to get you my room. Good impression. Remember he gave me his keys to his car. He goes, Oh, you're like

F five, F five fifties. Go, go. And I just drove it. And he's like, yeah, go take it for a spin. Yeah. No, he's he, dude, he's a fucking old school gangster. I remember the fucking, uh, Aspen comedy festival. He showed up with a cowboy hat and a fur length, a floor length, full length, whatever you say, fur coat, it was just standing there. As a club owner, it was hilarious. That's awesome.

That's awesome. Most club owners try to act like they don't have any money, you know, so when they fuck you at the end of the week, it makes sense. But Bill always, that's what I love love about Bill it takes you forever to impress him but when you do that guy fucking pays you pays you handsomely nothing but good things to say about him all right that's it let's jump off here all right we'll see you guys next week those are the picks enjoy the Monday night special and

we'll see you next week for week 13. Until next time, we are out. What's up, all things comedy fans? This is Matt Walsh. My name is Timothy Simons. And we have a podcast on the channels here called Second in Command. We were formerly a Veep Rewatch podcast, but now we watch any movie with a president or vice president in it,

and we bring on an interesting, funny, cool person to talk about that movie. And this week, who do we have, Tim? We have star of stage and screen, Kristen Bell. You might know her from Veronica Mars, from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, from The Good Place or the more recent Nobody Wants This. And what movie did she pick, Tim?

She picked the 2006 movie Idiocracy, which has nothing to do with our current circumstances. No, no, it did not predict what we were going to live through starting January. Anyways, it's fun fun and I'm really excited about this episode, so please check us out. Yeah, we come out every Tuesday on All Things Comedy. Get us wherever you get your podcasts.