Anything Better? - NFL Week 1 Breakdown

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

Is there Anything Better than Bill and Paul breaking down NFL week one? Download the BetMGM app and get $200. Place your first $10 bet on any money line, and if your team scores a TD at all - you get $200 to bet with regardless of the outcome of the game.

all right guys it's time to announce our new sponsor we which we are so thrilled to be teaming up with okay but we are now going to be working with bet mgm for all all the gambling all the football and it's mgm so you know it's a it's a trusted name. Okay. And week one is here. Week one is here. We've teamed up with them and this is it, man. The center of the football action. There's going to be so many different bets that we have on there. Bet MGM is a brand you could trust. Deposits and withdrawals are fast and reliable. So you could get your money right away. None of that waiting. They do it the right way. Okay. The best part is this year is going to have special offers for our listeners.

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Call or text Tennessee red line 1-800-889-9789. 1-800-889-9789, Tennessee, or call 1-800-9-WITH-IT, Indiana. Okay? So go to those things. Definitely gamble responsibly, but have a good time. They're going to have such great bets for you guys. Here are some cool bets. Super Bowl winner.

Check this out, Bill. Super Bowl winner. Buccaneers, if you bet $30,000 on the Buccaneers to win the Super Bowl, you get $210,000. Oh, man, I'm getting the willies here. Look at this. Look at this. If I throw $4,000 on the G-men to win the Super Bowl, I get 400K. Oh, my God. What's the Patriots odds? The Patriots odds for the Super Bowl. If you bet $10,000 for the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl, you get 300 big ones. That's a nice little, I don't know, Bill, you should do that. You got a new quarterback, you know, Belichick's coming out of the gate a little hot. I might throw 500 bucks on that. That's a great bet. Conference champions. Here you go. Conference champions. Let's see what it is for the, let's say Falcons. For Falcons to be conference champions, you just have to risk $1,515 to win $100,000 for them to win the South.

Patriots, $10,000 wins. Ooh, this is, I mean, I don't know. This is tough with the bills. But if you give $10,000 to that bet for the Patriots to win the conference champion, you win $180,000. Okay? And then they have Super Bowl matchup stuff. They also have NFL MVP, Tom Brady's plus fourteen hundred. So you could win five. If you bet five thousand, you get 70K.

Yeah. Aaron Donald, the defensive player, five hundred bucks to win one hundred K. So all of these bets are unbelievable. And they always offer halftime early payouts, which means if your team is up at halftime by 10 or more, you could bounce out of the deal because you don't want anything that you could basically leave the bet. OK, so these people are giving you two hundred dollars. OK, it's a reputable name. It's MGM. OK, then if your team is winning by 10 points or more at halftime, you could go, you know what? I don't need the stress of these other two quarters. I'm out. Give me my money. Okay. And they'll give it to you fast. The options are crazy. You never had those options. Yeah. When I was growing up, you bet the game you were locked in. That was it.

Yeah. So this is fantastic, dude. For week one, the Bucks are eight point favorites. OK, if you bet Moneyline and they're up 10 points, you'll just get paid out before the game ends. That is I'm not even saying that because we're teaming up. That is ridiculous. Like for you to be able to just bounce out of a bet and go, not is something I've actually never even heard of. Oh, Stacy's not going to like this. Okay.

What games you looking at that you like here? All right. So, I don't know, dude, this is nuts. What is play? Okay. So they also have playoff.

I'm going to, I'm going to bet. I'm going gonna put 500 bucks on the paths to win it this year fuck it i would got to i would um and i sent the spreads to your email paul if you want to go through the games i sent the spreads yeah i just want to i got them right here i got them right here i just got to read this one line movement thing all right line All right. Line movement means Broncos to make the playoffs open at plus 275. Now it's plus 140. OK, Washington was plus 85. Now it's plus 185. Now it's 145. And the Colts to miss the playoffs opened at 165.

Now it's a minus 120. So here's the thing, guys. Don't forget, if you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code BURR. B-U-R-R. You'll get $200 free for placing your first $10 bet as long as the team you bet on scores a touchdown. So for you people that don't bet, usually this is a lot of fun. You throw $10 on a game, you watch your team score a touchdown. So for you people that don't bet, usually this is a lot of fun. You throw $10 on a game, you watch your team score a touchdown, and they're going to put $200 in your account that you could have fun with and do whatever you want. You have all these different bets to choose from, including the craziest one, which I think is bouncing out at halftime if your team is just going wild. So definitely get the app, sign up.

And they're such great people. It's such a reputable company. I'm excited. Now let's talk about some bets. All right, let's do it. All right, so tonight, Tampa Bay Buccaneers defending Super Bowl champions with the great Tom Brady under center going up against the Dallas Cowboys. Once a great franchise, they won five Super Bowls.

All right. Well, it's time. Me and Bill are bringing something back that we did years ago. We are doing the 2021, the Jimmy the Greek Award. Bill Burr beat me back to back years. He's a two-time Jimmy the Greek Award champion. I have yet to, I have yet to, what is it? Get off the Schneider?

I'm handicapped now. I got two kids four and under. I don't know anything about the league. Paul, you're going to, I'm telling you, you've been waiting for this. It's just like when Tom Brady went to Tampa and everybody's licking their chop to play the Patriots. You know what? Don't do this to me. I know what you're doing. I know what you're doing. This is Bill. You know what? I'm just going to give you the money because this is bullshit. What's that penalty? And then he would win every time. I'm not buying it. No, but I was watching though, dude. Last time we did this, Paul, I had

no kids. Okay, well. I wasn't married. I had my whole life ahead of me. All right, well, I'm going to give you my first game. By the way, the Jimmy the Greek Award, if you go 4-0, it's the unimaginable. If you go 0-4, it's the unforgivable. If you go oh and four, it's the unforgivable. The unforgivable. That's OK. We'll pick we'll pick four games and we'll go with that.

I'm going to pick the first game. My New York football giants are. Wow. They're two and a half point dogs. They're two and a half point dogs. OK. dogs they're two and a half point dogs okay uh against the denver broncos i'm taking my new york giants all day to win that game they have a chip on their shoulder because they're dogs we've got daniel jones some weapons so my first pick will be the new york giants all right i got one for you you, everybody was talking all about the Chiefs. They're talking all about Patrick Mahomes. They're going to go back to back and all of this stuff and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it didn't happen. And everybody went away. I think

they're going to come out hungry. I know they're playing the Cleveland Browns. They're in Cleveland. Cleveland's all excited. I think Patrick Mahomes is going to, like, be licking his chops to shut everybody up in the dog pound. Even though they're six-and-a-half-point dogs, Paul, I'm picking the Chiefs. They're actually at home, though. Huh? They're at home. Oh, Cleveland at.

Oh, Arrowhead Stadium, six-and-a-half points. I love that game. That's a great bet. Patrick Mahomes. They're going to come out emotional. Kelsey's going to be dancing before he even makes his first catch. It's going to be. I actually think that that's going to be a bloodbath. I think that they're going to kick the shit out of the crowd.

We're under 54 on that. You think that's a high scoring, low scoring? Bill, you always think that that's never the shootout that they say it's going to be. What do you think? I can never pick over and under. I can never pick that stuff. I'm really good with the Super Bowl, though, for some reason. You know, you give me a whole season to watch somebody, Andrew.

It's the first game of the year. Who knows what's going to – Andrew, are you docking these or am I? Okay, so, all right, so I got the Giants plus two and a half Bill has the uh Kansas City Chiefs minus six that right there's why I always seem to beat you Paul because you bet with your heart you went right for your home team right out of the gate but I did something that I normally don't do Bill I took a dog and oh you know I love a favorite oh yeah you probably love the favorite and speaking of that I, I love a favorite. Oh, yeah. You love the favorite.

And speaking of that, I'm going to a favorite with my second pick. My second pick is this. I love that we do the explanation, too, because your chief's explanation was fantastic. You know, guys, there was a lot of stuff gone on with Aaron Rodgers that he didn't want to be there. There was a lot of stuff that he wasn't happy. There was a lot of stuff that he wanted to be traded. And then, you know what Aaron Rodgers did, like the damn professional that he is. He put his helmet on and his red Jersey and he went to camp and he seems to be having a good time. He's staying with them. And I am going to take the Packers against the Drew Brees list. The Drew Brees list saints. The Drew Brees-less Saints.

The Packers are four-and-a-half-point favorites. I thought it should be more than that. I love that number. Where's that game? That game is in New Orleans. Okay? It's in New Orleans. The Packers are going in as four-and-a-half-point favorites.

I think Aaron Rodgers and all them, they're going to put – they're going to shut the door on the drama. I think they got, the other team is, who they got? Jameis Winston and that other kid's number seven. I'm not buying it. Not week one. Aaron Rodgers is not going to have the dramatic off season that he had and come and lay an egg in week one.

I take the Packers. Mine is four and a half. That's actually my fucking bet the farm on it of this week. You're selling it, Paul. That sounds great to me. All right. I'm going to go with the Arizona Cardinals going into Tennessee.

I like it. Going into Tennessee. I'm not going to lie to you. Up until two seconds ago, I was thinking it was Carolina. Just picturing their uniforms kyler murray uh wait who's their quarterback kyler murray and no no who's the titans quarterback oh uh ryan tannahill ryan tannahill and they still have that uh ball of hate, that gigantic lunatic as a running back, right? Yes.

Henry, right? No. I don't know. I just think Kyler Murray's the winner. I'm going to go with the Arizona Cardinals. I think they came up a little bit short. They have a little bitter taste in their mouth. I'm giving three in Tennessee.

I don't know about that, Paul. It looked good before I started talking about it. All right. All right. I like that. The first week, Paul, I'm going to stumble before I run. I'm going to do something I normally wouldn't do. Okay. I normally would look, I normally would look at this Buffalo Bills minus six in Buffalo against the Steelers. And I would normally take, I would normally take those Buffalo bills with the spread. I mean, to, to cover I'm going, I'm taking the dog Steelers week one with that old gunslinger,

Ben Roethlisberger. And I'm going to actually take points. I'm taking the Pittsburgh Steelers in Buffalo, getting six and a half. God damn it. I like that bet too. Now I can't pick the same thing you're picking, right? Can't do that. No. What do I got left here? All right. I'll go an easy one. I'm going to take the Patriots. Got to bet my Patriots. I got to believe the Mac Jones era. We're giving three points to the Dolphins, who always give us a tough time, but we're not down in Miami.

And I know Miami right now. I think Miami might be looking past the Patriots because right now, last year the Patriots finally didn't have Tom Brady, and Buffalo was able to take control of the division. So I think Miami has their sights on the Buffalo Bills. Looking past the Patriots with the kid under center. Goes into Gillette Stadium. We'll beat them like we always do.

I think Mac Jones gets a big first victory his first time out. Taking the pads. All right. That's a good one. All right. So now we got one more each. It's getting slim pickets here, Paul. No, there's a lot of games.

No, there's a lot of games. But I'm trying to find one that I like here. I'm going to do this one just because it's opening day in Las Vegas. The Las Vegas Raiders opening day. Okay? Did no justice to Chris Berman. I love that, though. There it is. Las Vegas Raiders are opening up in their new stadium.

This is the first professional football game in Las Vegas. They are dogs to the Ravens, and rightfully so. Oh, Paul, he's right back up. I thought you were going to take the favorite, and I was going to take the other one. God damn it, Paul, you're learning. You're learning. No, no, no.

I'm taking the favorite. You're taking the No, no, no. I'm taking a favorite. You're taking a favorite. Oh, you want to do that? You want to do one game when we battle each other? One game head to head. Dude, I love the Ravens. Oh, no. I love the Ravens too, but they're favorites. Oh, they're favorites. Oh, okay. The Ravens are four and a half point

favorites. Oh, that's a great bet, dude. I mean, part of being a Raider fan is getting excited about something and then only have you fucking dick knocked in the dirt. I think that that's exactly what's going to happen. Yeah, I like the favorite. I'm back on the favorite on that one. So you got the choice of all these last games. Yeah, I can't bet the Raiders.

I just can't. i can't go down on you this far i already i i'm questioning two of the three bets i've already made what game is left oh my god the charges versus the washington football team dude are they just are they that racist in washington are they just not that good at coming up with a good how long do you need to come up with a new name for a team? That seems to start to seem like a protest. Oh!

Wait a minute. Seattle Seahawks in Indianapolis. My boy Russell Wilson with that other kid there, the breakout wide receiver, Pete Carroll. Woo! Old sneaky Pete. I I'm gonna take the favorite Seattle Seahawks minus two and a half to beat the Indianapolis Colts that's a good bet in their

building I like that one all day long you know until uh that kid from Stanford comes back and plus I also hate Jim Irsay one of the biggest whiners this fucking game has ever seen. All right, guys, that's it. The official week one picks of the Anything Better football. Jimmy the Greek championship is underway. What are we betting, Paul? What do you mean? For the season.

You and I, head to head, what do we bet here? Like whoever comes on top? top yeah we go in money we go in a dinner someplace what should we do man that's that should be a good yeah we should come up with something really good we should come up with something really good um we'll come up with this this week we'll figure something out i I think, okay, I had an idea. You let me know. We'll think about it. But I think whoever wins, the loser needs to take them to the restaurant of their choice,

cigar lounge of their choice. The whole deal that night is just they have to do and take care of it on their dime. Oh, absolutely. Then I'll bring you to that famous ice cream store on the Lower East Side. Oh, yeah. I'll get bring you to that famous ice cream store in the Lower East Side. Oh, yeah. I'll be walking around. I'm going to take you out, Paul, like an absentee father. I'm just holding a fucking ice cream cone.

And then you're not going to see me for another six months. Put a little money in your hand, get you some clothes, big ice cream cone, tie a balloon to your wrist, and then that's it. I'll see you next year. I like your bets, tie a balloon to your wrist, and then that's it. I'll see you next year. I like your bets, Paul. I like your bets, too. I like your bets, too. Andrew, you wrote those down, right, so we can remember them?

Yeah, I like that Kyler Murray bet you got. I think Arizona's going to come out. They got J.J. Watt, too. That's a good bet. Another great thing about putting money on games is you watch more football. Yeah, it's so fun, dude. It's so fun. And, you know, I'll be a nervous wreck watching the Giants.

I'll be a nervous wreck watching the Giants. I'm going to put my money in. I think I'm going to bet the Patriots, and I'm going to bet somebody else to win the Super Bowl. But I got to go dogs on both, so I offset my money so I can actually come out on top, you know? And you know what's beautiful about this season women children love it my wife makes the chili the kids get excited

everybody's running around footballs on every room in the house it's just it's a blissful time man it's a blissful time every Sunday's a holiday hey what's going on in Green Bay? Aaron Rodgers is back. Can't you just see Aaron Rodgers just somehow, you know, after the brink of him leaving, the whole thing falling apart, all of a sudden him just coming in, maybe leading him. But then you got Tom Brady down there in Tampa. I mean, they got that whole team is back, right? Fuck this.

I'm going to bet the Patriots and I'm going to bet the Buccaneers. So repeat, Paul. Okay. For ring number eight. I say Brady gets ring number eight, then ring number nine. So he passes Belichick and then he's the first guy to ever get three Super Bowls in a row.

That's what he's shooting for. All right, guys. So that is our NFL picks on this episode 32 of Anything Better. Enjoy the football weekend. And again, do not forget BetMGM. So happy to be working with those guys. Okay. Don't forget, if you haven't signed up for BetMGM, just use the code word BURR, B-U-R-R, and you'll get $200 free after placing your first $10 bet as long as the team you bet on gets a touchdown. We're going to go over these next week. We're going to have a great time with them. Obviously, there's going to be Team Burr rooting for Bill to beat me.

Hopefully, there's some Team Burzy hoping for me to beat Bill. It'll be a good time. We'll have a whole little ceremony of the Jimmy the Greek thing at the end. Guys coming down to it real quick. September 15th, I will be at the Punchline in Philly running my hour. And then I will be at Levity Live on the 16th and 17th running my hour until I ultimately shoot the special on the 18th. Tickets are still available. They're going for the Saturday. Pick those up.

And the Wilbur Theater, October 22nd. Get my YouTube, Verzi Effect, Monday Morning Podcast, Bill's Shit, my shit. Thank you guys so much. Is there anything else, guys? I think that's it. And let's go, New York football giants.