Anything Better? - Pickle Ratio Glee | Week 10 NFL Preview & Picks

Episode Date: November 7, 2025

Bill is .500 and Paul still believes.  The fellas make their picks and talk about coffee, smash burgers, and dumb smart people. *First Bet Offer $1500*1. Download the BetMGM Sportsbook app on iOS or Android, or visit betmgm.com.  Use the promo code BURR2. Sign up and deposit at least ten dollars ($10.00) into your BetMGM Sportsbook account.3. Place your first wager and receive up to $1,500 back in Bonus Bets if the bet loses.4. If the bet does lose, your Bonus Bets will be available once your initial wager is settled. *First Touchdown*Place a pre-game, straight First Touchdown Scorer bet in any NFL game.If your player scores the first touchdown in the game, win your wager as normal. If your player scores the second touchdown in the game, you’ll get your stake back in cash. (Only straight bets apply to Second Chance. Any wager using a bonus bet, bonus or other reward token is ineligible for the campaign.) Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER (Available in the US). Call 877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Call 1-800-NEXT-STEP (AZ), 1-800-327-5050 (MA), 1-800-BETS-OFF (IA), 1-800-981-0023 (PR). First Bet Offer for new customers only. Subject to eligibility requirements. Rewards are non-withdrawable bonus bets that expire in 7 days. In partnership with Kansas Crossing Casino and Hotel. See BetMGM.com for Terms. 21+ only. US promotional offers not available in New York, Nevada, Ontario, or Puerto Rico.

What's up, everybody, and welcome back to the Anything Better podcast with your host, Paul Bursey, Bill Burr. We have Andrew Femblis out there in Beverly Hills, and guys, I am sad to report. We are, as a show, we are sad to report that our own Jake the Snake injury report guy got called to do something. We don't know where he is, but he will be back back. He's a healthy scratch. He's a healthy scratch. He sends his condolences. By the way, dude, I just took a sauna.

That's why my face is all red. I'm not about ready to have a heart attack. Well, you look better than me. I just got off of an airplane. Anyway. Well, let's be honest. We're a mess this week. No, Jake, the snake.

My face is red. You just got off a plane. No, I'm a mess this year because I'm 13 games back. But you, you, my friend, you always. give me props when I'm killing it, usually around this time. I got to give you prop. Bill Burr is going on six weeks without going under 500, dude. And he goes three and one again to get even against the book going into week nine or 10, dude. That's my brand. Billy, win some, lose some. I'm 16, 16 and one. You're not going to win. You're not going to lose with me, Paul. No, you are. I picked the Thursday

game last night. I got to tell you guys this shit. I'll hear you do. Yeah. My fuck. Thursday night fucking theory. Division rivalry. Thursday night game north of five, five and a half points. Take the fucking dog. It's three days per

preparation, simple game plans. Everybody's fucking hurt. Ugly game. That was last night. That game last night was fucking atrocious. It was atrocious, Paul. They might as well had me out there. Let's not be crazy. But like, I had the Raiders

get nine points. Get nine points on a Thursday, Paul? They just got done playing. I walked out of the comedy club. I looked up and I saw, first of all, the uniforms on both teams were the best uniforms ever, and the game was terrible. Everybody said it was a bad game.

Yeah. But it's funny. You know, it's funny, Bill, you're winning, and you got a theory last year I was winning. I go, this is the theory. But here's the thing. You're in the mode right now. You're Patrick Ewing in 90.

That is a fucking lock. I've won four or five games doing that. Oof. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't scare me like that. It's a fucking law, dude. You saw it on the text thread last night.

I go nine points division rivalry. Thursday night, I'm taking it. And I ain't talking shit, Paul, until I lose. In other words, I'll shut up next week. Oh, I've been waiting. I've been waiting for this, you on the show, for a year, at least. A couple years, dude. Hey, my kids are starting to watch sports now, which is great.

They're asking questions. They get it now. My son's like, I want to watch the hockey. He likes hockey. My daughter, you know, I watched like, I watched the last 14 Blue Jays games. So now she's all into baseball. Dude, I got him in the backyard. I start, they're right-handed.

I started him as lefties. Nice. So now my daughter's at school on both sides of play going, they're like, you left or you're right? She's like, well, sometimes they do this. sometimes I do that. Got it, Paul. No, dude, you are, Bill Burr is carrying the anything better show. You are Patrick Ewing of the Knicks in the early 90s, just on the shoulder, taking them to the playoffs.

Well, dude, no, come on, last four years, you would be up like six games. Dude, what it is, Paul, is I am, I stayed the same. I just started slow and then I had to come back just to get where the fuck I was. I'm still Billy wins some, lose some. I'm not putting on that Blue Jays' home run jacket that you hate so much. I'm not doing that yet. Although I won last night, so I'm 1 in 0 already. So I'm happy with taping this on Friday if you're watching.

I got to tell you going into the week winning that Thursday game feels good. Oh, speaking of that, I got to announce this on the show, guys, if you don't mind. Speaking of the Knicks, I am doing my new podcast that I do with I Heart Radio, Will Farrell's company, Big Money Players, and I Heart Radio. Paul's best podcast, I am getting John Starks. Legendary New York, Nick. John Starks is coming on my podcast this Monday, live at Gotham Comedy Club for the New York Comedy Festival.

7 p.m. one show, me and John. I get to talk to John Starks this Monday night about the dunk on Jordan. I get to talk to, first of all, I just get to talk to John Starks at Gotham Comedy Club. Tickets are available, guys. um they they john's people this came in last minute hey he was in both later on the second dude all those nix fans well i hope so but anyway if you want tickets they are available monday night seven p m for the new york festival of gotham me and john starks uh i'm excited to talk to him dude because i'm just going to be like dude i remember where i was i was eating a twizzler

i was eating a twizzler at my friend viny's basement watching him dunk and when he dunked and did that left me it was like a delayed reaction action. Nobody could believe it. I'm going to tell him that. Oh, Polly, full head of hair, being a Twizzler over Vinnie's house. That's 100%. 100% true. I had a Twizzler. I love it. We go, no, he just, like, it was just that shit. I was like, dude, I was like literally, oh my God, 94, 93.

I mean, that's the greatest dunks in NBA history and that, and that is the greatest dunk in Nick's history. It's got to be. But you know what sucks is we lost the game. don't go there paul i want to talk greatest dunks NBA and and nick's history it's got to be that one it's got it is it is um so guys if you're around monday harris grant horace grant and and jordan comes in late jordan comes in late it's horace grant and pippin are like close to underneath and jordan comes in but he went like lefty and if you watch it if you watch it on youtube even the garden couldn't it's like it takes like one or two mississippi's for everybody to register

what they just saw and as he's running back people are going apes shit it's insane it's insane and you know Jordan I'm going to ask him I'm going to be like did I'm going to ask him this I'm going to be like a John did Jordan like after you because they're friends they golf and stuff and be like did he ever say oh I was coming in late that shit ain't on me because that's

that's what I think Michael Jordan said to him but if you guys want to hear that conversation Gotham Monday night at 7 Paul's best podcast there you go I feel like he realizes halfway through the play he's like oh shit he's going to dunk so he just sort of made sure he was just sort of like

he's in it but not in it and when John is running back he gets to like the foul line or the three point line running back and you can tell he knows I just did some shit it's amazing you know what I mean

all right guys well here's the deal we don't have Jake the snake we obviously do know the gruesome the gruesome Jane and Daniel's arm but brutal dude Here's the thing about NFL injuries, Bill. They happen, we know it, but when you see the bone go the opposite way, I can't deal with it. That's one I can't deal with it, dude.

You know? The limb, the limb, when the elbow goes up or the knee goes, I can't. That's the one I can't deal with it. Yeah. You know, that's. At least it wasn't his throwing out, right? Yeah, I don't think it was his throwing arm. Did you see the Joe Thysman thing?

Because I didn't see it. Did you see it? I did not see that live, but they just kept showing it, though. And I remember Tuesday morning, everybody that saw the game, that's all they were talking about. It was a break and then a break. Ah, yeah. And then Lawrence Taylor getting up going, calling them in. Yeah, that's brutal.

All right. Joe Disman said he watched it once. Oh man Yeah Yeah What are we doing We went from John Stark's Fucking dunk to

Yeah Went from John Stark's Dunkin on Jordan To this But so yeah So I guess as far as injuries I think it's pretty much That and what it was last

week I mean dude A lot of quarterbacks down No Joe Burrow No Jaden Daniels A lot of backups But Bill

I love when there's a backup Comes in you Like that guy's still in the fucking NFL that's awesome yeah I know it's not a real compliment

to the player but I like it yeah who was it Gary Kubiak back in the day I remember him Bobby Brister yeah you just think

like once they lose their starting job you just don't track them and then all of a sudden you're like what the fuck Joe Flacco is still playing

Marcus Marriota still playing Marcus with Joe Flacko dude 20 years I think not bad either dude if joe flacko was in the military he'd have those fucking lines going all the way up his sleeve

his NFL his hall of fame jacket or whatever um well bill anyway paul i still i still uh there's time paul there's actually what you've just set the table for paul is the greatest come and you know and paul verzi has amazing comebacks um history shows that it ain't old

till it's over. You know, you're down 13 and a half fucking games. If you, on November, what's today? The 6th, 7th, if you fucking turn this shit around, dude, do you get even? I need a couple of four and O's, dude. I need a couple, man. I didn't get, I mean, I got two.

The loan would option the script if you did it. Oh, I want to tell you at 2025. Ben MGM story. You just be a documentary? Oh my God, we'd have to do the Rocky music who are just like, you can't win!

And then they start doing that bell sound. Dude, here's a deal. If I do that. I'm taking the Seahawks, you know, and just all going on this run. Dude, you made... You made that amazing club soda,

Kenny thing. We got a make like a mockumentary like just for a comedy if I do this. It would be great. Play it before next year. All right. Well, Bill, you are, I believe you are up on the, you are up on the clock. You are crushing it. Well, I've already picked first. I picked my Thursday game. So now it's you. I've already picked one. It's you. It's whatever you want, Paul. All right. Well, I'm going to tell you what. I looked at this at the airport when I thought I was going to have to do a recording. And by the way, people are loving the show. Thank you all for

watching anything better. I was a Houston last night. And I'm doing a meet and greet after a show. And the guy goes, hey, dude, you didn't get you. What's going on with the picks this week? I'm like, all right, buddy, I'm traveling. We'll get it tomorrow, right? And one guy goes, Paul, I'm still taking your picks. You've been so, one guy was like, I'm still riding with you.

I'm like, hey, I don't know. Dude, four years. I'm going to tell you this. Dynasty, dude. You got a dime. The Bet MGM is looking for their first win against you. Yeah, but now I'm the Cowboys who got rid of Jimmy Johnson. You know what I am?

I'm the letdown game. They let me hang around. He's hanging around. They were like, we didn't know if the game passed Bill by, but he is back. All right. You know what I'm going to do, Bill? I'm going to do something that the Indianapolis Colts lost last week. And I see this line minus six and a half and they're home.

But you know what? I'm going against my homecoming theory here. I think that the Atlanta Falcons, I see the cults taking a little dip now. I also want to see how Daniel Jones reacts to a little bit of, he has not, Daniel Jones has not had any kind of issues yet this year. It's kind of been smooth.

How's that offensive line? They're still healthy? Yeah, I mean, listen, they're a good team. They're favored by six and a half. They do protect them. But this is going to be the first. That's the story. That's the story.

Indianapolis wouldn't you say that that offensive line all of a sudden he's got time he's a whole new guy well I'm gonna see we're gonna see Daniel Jones have a game for the first time with a little bit of being uncomfortable I think the Atlanta Falcons I think because the Atlanta Falcons lost a heartbreaker to you guys last week by one point I think the Atlanta Falcons might not win this game defense put him in a position to win we had two big turnovers I'll tell you that fucking kid Drake London yeah that kid can play that kid's good that wide But that kid, that'll kid. He's good for a, he's good for a touchdown.

And I think Pennix Jr. is a good quarterback. I'm not saying the, I'm not saying the Falcons win this game, but boy, do I love the six and a half points. I'm going to take the Atlanta Falcons on the road getting points. I love that, Paul. I actually love that pick. Paul, I'm not going to lie to you. I don't see.

Pass that Thursday game, I don't see anything I like this week. Everything, every number is, ugh. I just love, dude. If this isn't the funnest thing both of us do in our lives, you just go, you looked at the thing and you just go, Paul, I'm not going to lie to you. Dude, I got to take you through how I fucking vet a coffee shop when I'm in a city, I don't know. I got to take you through, Paul. Like, as an Italian, you're going to be proud.

Sorry, Sicilian, I don't know offense. All right. I'm looking at that Bill's dog. Dolphins game. This has letdown game written all over it. Division rivalry, their home. Am I really going to do that again? Am I really going to take the fucking dolphins who quit on their coach?

I'm going to think about that one for a second. Fucking hate the Ravens. I don't know who they are. Browns minus two versus the Jets. These are all fucking trap games. You motherfuckers. Patriots first buccaneers. I mean, what's going to happen there, Paul?

I have no idea. I'm going to say, is Kyle and Murray still out? That's a good question. Hold on. He must be, minus six and a half? Yeah, I think he's out. They got, what's his name? The guy that was on your team. Bob, this was draft day.

I'm on the fucking clock right now. So I just got, you know, fuck this. I'm going to take the Browns, minus two against the Jets. But the fucking Jets got their first. win last week and cut they they got to win but then they just traded off some of their star some of their star players and it's still only two who what the fuck is the poor bastard playing quarterback for the browns now uh what's his name uh gabriel son i don't know dude being a brown's quarterback was like being if you're the helicopter gunner in vietnam

like your life expectancy it's fucking brutal that's a great that's a great analogy should they be drafting quarterbacks or a fucking offensive line. I don't know. I don't know why, Paul. I'm just going to take the Browns because I'm holding up the show. Dylan Gabriel is his name. You know what, Bill? Well, Dylan Gabriel. You know, he's got two great names. Bob Dylan and Roman Gabriel. I like it. I think the Miami Dolphins get the kill shot in the head this week, meaning not only do they lose, but they lose bad. and I think it's the nail in Mike McDaniel's coffin. Sorry to Dan Soder. I know they're best friends.

Here's the deal. I think the Buffalo Bills are going to go on a run. I said it weeks ago. I think they win the game by 10 or more. The Dolphins just aren't a good football team and the bills are. I'm going to take the points. So I got Buffalo. All right, Paul, just to make it interesting, I'm going to take the dolphins.

Nice. The exact opposite reason. just the exact opposite reason is everybody thinks that that's what's going to happen the bill's going to go in there they're going to win by fucking three scores or whatever the fucking dolphins dude I'm telling you

even when the Patriots were the Patriots even though we're back a little bit when we were the Patriots Brady Belichick all of those fucking guys those motherfuckers still beat us once a year I don't know what it is about them but the dolphins I think they have enough respect to give them a game

and nine and a half points tape ball in this league that's a lot of points I'll take the dolphins It's nine and a half because Paul, I don't see anything else in this week I like. Well, listen, I think this is our first head to head. And Lord knows you're the guy this year. Lord knows you're the guy this year. No, Paul, I'm 16, 16 and one.

Dude, you started out 2 and 11 like me and you turned it around or whatever we were. We were 2.1 and, I mean, dude, we were bad. After week five, we were classically bad. Paul, I am right where everybody expected me to. be. I have earned that nickname. Billy wins some, lose some.

Paul, you're the guy, Paul. You know what you are right now? You're fucking Russell Wilson when he went to the Broncos. Like, what happened? This fucking guy was unbelievable. The second he goes to Denver. What is going on with this guy?

Well, you know what? I'm going to take, for my next pick, Jacksonville Jaguars have disappointed me one too many times. I went with the long locks, good-looking Trevor Lawrence, and you know something? I got burned every time. I like the Houston Texans getting a point at home. The game is basically a pick-em.

And when the game is a pick-oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Andrew, is C.J. Stroud playing or not? That's one thing I need to look at if C.J. Stroud is playing. If C.J. Stroud is playing, I'm going to take the home team in a pick-um because I don't know who the Jaguars are. He's out. He's out?

All right. Well, now I've got to think about that one. All right. I'll kill some time. My favorite name in the NFL, C.D. Lamb. That's an old school name. He could have played on the Cowboys with Billy Joe DePree and fucking Drew Pearson. C.D. Lamb.

That's, you know, that's when I could still remember football players' names. C.D. Lamb is such a thing. Why white guys started naming their kids like, you know, Dakota and Ravine and black guys started being, you know, Laveracose or whatever the fuck it is? I can't, I just, the names are to a laugh. That and then in hockey, when people from Finland started playing, Jesus, fucking Christ, dude. Dude, you can see the Bruins.

I've almost seen every game. I still don't know half the guy's fucking names. Dude, the names go all the way across. there's always like 15 K's and T's and V's. I can't pronounce any of them. Oh, our producer Andrew Thelman just wrote that Dak Prescott's name is Dakota. I did not know that.

He's got to go by Dak. You have to. You can't be the Cowboys quarterback. Oh, no, his name is Rain. No, his name is Rain. His name is R-A-Y-N-E. rain Dakota Prescott is his name

dude rain is kind of cool it's raining touchdowns in Dallas that's a good one yeah of also

the reign of an emperor there's a way to go with it oh his reign is over cult or something that sounds like

some hippie shit rain Dakota Prescott Rain Dakota. Yeah. Rain, Dakota, Mesa. And then when he starts to retire, the headline when he retires, the headline when he retires, the rain is over. His reign is something like that.

I like that, too. Millions in merch lost to that decision. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. All right. Well, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to think about the Texans while I do this pick.

I'm going to take, Bill, I don't like to do this to, I don't like picking against your team. But I'm, I'm, I think the Buccaneers are coming off of a bye week. They're minus two and a half at home. Baker Mayfield rested his body a little bit. I talked a lot of shit about Baker saying he wasn't making the throws. He had that horrible game. I think their defense is good. I'm going to take the Tampa Bay Buccaneers against your Patriots only because it's less than a touchdown and they're at home.

It's less than a field, though, dude. I mean, I'm sorry, less than a field goal. What, um, who's that coach down there in Tampa Bay? It's still, um, what's his name? The Todd Bowles. Yeah, that's going to be an interesting game. I can see why he did that. All right.

My question, who's, who's quarterback for the commanders now? Mariotta. Dude, do the fucking lions ever cover? They're so, they always have these giant fucking spreads and they never fucking cover. You always think they're going to go in and fucking beat the shit out of them and then they don't. Then you lay off them and then they do it.

It's like they're watching this podcast or something. Paul, I swear to God, this reminds me of fucking taking Algebra 2 and Trigg. I saw summer school by the second week of September. I don't know why. I'm just going to take the fucking Seahawks

minus six and a half, not knowing anything. And if that doesn't describe me as a gambler. The Seahawks are good, dude. Paul, I'm not going to lie to you. This feels like my first losing week. It does. You know what I mean?

Andrew, can you just tell me who's quarter? You'll have to go out on a date with a chick and you're like, yeah, she's not going out with me again. This is what this feels like. This feels like those second days. No, I'll be honest with you, it was always me going, I ain't going out of it again. In my delusion, I'm not.

She wants. Oh, you're delusial. All right, yeah. Well, you know. Well, you're just smart enough to be stupid. No, you said one of the funniest things any friend has ever said to me. You said you're the dumbest smart guy I know. Oh, no, that was the Patrice thing.

You saw. Yeah, Patrice would say that. Dumb smart people. Andrew. You, like, totally get life in a way of somebody I've never seen before. And then out of nowhere, right when I believe. you, you will just say the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life and I'm like, wait

a minute. And then you immediately get right back on track with like this fucking amazing life advice. But the thing you said, it hangs in the air for a second. Dude, I'm not going to lie. Like an elevator. I was talking to my therapist this week

and she just goes, she just goes, you know you're like really intelligent, right? And I was just like, hey, watch me do math, sweetheart. I'm a fucking idiot. No, but no, it's like, you're really smart in shit that there's no, like, reward for. I know what you mean. Like, Paul Verzi's not winning the Spelling Bee.

Paul Verzi's not on the math team. No. All right? But Paul Verzi gets life. I don't know how you monetize that. I mean, obviously, you're a fucking amazing comedian. I'm not talking about that. I'm just talking about, like, dude, you fucking,

I remember one time I was talking to this actress on this movie. And, uh, we, me and, me and, uh, me and Pete Davidson, we're doing an impression. We were doing an impression of you. And the actress goes, who is this guy? Like, I want to think like that. Like, we're talking like, you were like, dude, is there anything better than a bag of chips with, with the sandwich? which, you know, you get it, dude. The level that you appreciate, shit that people don't pay attention to, sitting there by yourself,

reading the newspaper with the wind blowing through the trees, you say, like the picture that you paint, like, always reminds me, like, yeah, we are so lucky to be alive. Yes, we are. Simple little fucking things, what am I getting so upset about? Whatever that is, Paul. Dude, you should be in a conference room in a fucking. hotel with that fucking that microphone that just goes in your ear like janet jackson just uplifting people well i just the reason why they're anything better than a fresh bag of chips with the

sandwich well the reason why start yelling like that that giant who's that guy with that giant fucking head he just yells at these fucking people losing in like oh god oh he's a motivational speaker and he's yelling at him like he's about ready to cut him I think it's is it David Goggins the guy that runs like 200 miles no not that guy he just he looks like it's like if you took a movie star and you made him like nine feet

tall so he became uncastable well Tony Robbins oh Tim Robbins Tony Tony Robbins Tony Robbins Tony Robbins Tony Robbins oh yeah I saw a thing on one time dude that guy fucking choose people out

yeah I was like he motivating them or is he fucking motivating them to do what no he that guy just like jumps in a fucking he's one of those guy like he's one of those fucking guys that has a regiment but i want to i want to write something i want to read something i wrote just because you brought that up i wasn't being rude looking at my phone but when you said that i say is there anything better then last night at one o'clock in the morning east coast time midnight texas time yours truly wrote it's just swear to god's right um pickles on a

burger or chicken sandwich make life better it's just incredible dude i had a smash burger at the club last night a two patty smash burger bill the amount of pickles was so perfect and you got pickle in every bite it wasn't i don't want to be billy negative here you're not a pickle guy i'm not a smash burger guy oh okay it's like somebody made you a burger stuck it in their back pocket and took a fucking bus ride and then handed it to you the whole thing is a bun no no this was a two patty it it's i know it's i know it's i know it's i know No, the two patty is like half the size of what a burger used to be. Yeah.

Oh, you like a thick. It's like economy. They used to, economy on a plane used to have a little more fucking room. They, they smushed it all together. Yeah. I see that. I see that. Can I give you my, how I vet a coffee shop real quick?

Yeah, of course. Okay. This is the deal. All right. If it's a chain, I'm in a city, like, I don't know, I don't know shit. I don't, I got nothing. I'm swinging in the dark here, Paul. If it's a chain, fuck that place.

Okay. All right? If you go to the website and there's pictures of food before there's pictures of the coffee. Bill, hold on. I can't, I can't lose this. Hold on. I got to get it on my phone. My shit's going to die.

Okay. Stace, where's my charger? Okay. I got it. I got it. How the fuck would shit? know where your charger is? She knew. She knew. She said it's on the dresser.

Really? That's amazing. How would she know where your charger is? I think because I leave shit. No, I leave shit laying around and then she goes like, you know, what the fuck? You left this here. I put it on the dresser. That's why. But go ahead. What's your regimen? All right. So here's how. Okay. So if it's a chain, Fuck that place. If I go to the website and I see a picture of food before I see the coffee, fuck that place. If you use paper, if you use paper cups and you don't have any real coffee cups, fuck that place.

If you offer a cappuccino and a latte and small, medium and large, fuck that place. If you close in the evening, if you're still pouring coffee seven, eight, nine, ten o'clock at night, fuck that place. I love that one. I actually love them all. The first thing I see is some incredible latte art in a matching cup and a saucer and there's no fucking food and it's not a goddamn chain. And there's only one size for a latte, one size for a cappuccino, a flat white or cortado. You know what the fuck you're doing and I'm going there. I'm going there.

This is what it is. I love all of that. The only one that I would give a little pushback on, I don't mind the picture here or there. If the picture is like enticing and the chef or whoever wants you to see it, I don't mind that. No, no, no. If the first picture I see is food. Oh, okay. I got you.

You know those coffee shops that fat people and crocs go to? I got you. Yeah. And then they stand there with like whatever, they start the day, whatever they're eating. It's like you are taking an immediate nap. All of those, I don't even know what they're called. All of that shit behind the glass. it's some version of a dessert

and you're starting your day with that shit and you just see them you just see them Paul yeah those call you know the coffee shops where the guys are fatter than their girlfriends and their girlfriends or whatever their wife already had a kid and you're somehow fatter than she is fuck that place dude there's no excuse for a man you can't be

more out of shape than your wife if she gave you kids and you're fatter than she is. There's no fucking reason for it. Walking around with bigger tits than she has. You can't do it, Paul. No, you can't do it. No.

After what she's been through, to what she's been through, you're taking that shirt off and coming to bed, bringing that mess. She popped out three kids and you're worse. Oof.

What did you do? Fucking ate steak bombs. He'd be like, I'll tell you what I did. They made the fucking money. That's what I did. all right you know what sucks about being 57 is every every city whatever they make you're too old to eat it like you go to philly right you got to get a fucking steak and cheese a cheese steak sorry a cheese steak is a

young man's game i want one so bad oh my god dude if you just want to check out at 63 at my age you just get a fucking cheese steak it's called the steak and cheese in boston i don't know what they call it in New York. All right, I got one for you. What's up? Here's a question. If you totally gave up and didn't give a fuck if you dropped dead in the next two years and you just, you didn't care if you turned into a 450 pound monster, what are you

eating? Like, what's your like, what's your like? Oh, dude, fuck eating. I already know what I'm drinking and smoking. No, but I mean, what you play? I'm going back to fucking bourbon and I'm smoking fucking three cigars. I'm just, I'm just smoking. No, but I mean like eating, like snacks and shit.

What's your go-to? Like, are you a burger? Are you a cheese steak? Are you a, like, what's your just like? Oh, Paulie, I've been out in L.A. too long. I'm a breakfast burrito guy. Okay, okay. The fucking breakfast burrito, Paul.

I'm telling you, there's nothing on the East Coast that fucks with it. I hate to say it. I had to throw the whole East Coast in there, so I'm not going to get accused of hating on New York again. I'm just saying, dude, the fucking breakfast sandwiches and, In Massachusetts, the bacon, egg and cheese. It's just the fucking bacon egg and cheese is, it's just so basic. They didn't even season the fucking eggs, dude. There's nothing on it.

You got to bring it home and fucking judge that thing up. It's just something to stick in your fucking stomach so you're not hungry when you go to work. But, dude, the fucking, the breakfast burrito. And I got to tell you, dude, two of my spots changed management and they're not good anymore. Like, I got this point, Paul. I learned how to make one at home that was like you know it's still mediocre but you get to

you go to a good place you know like there's a place down the way for me the tacos tortas all of that shit are just next level and I feel bad you go in there and there's somebody like grandmothers

in there making the tortillas still making them like from scratch you still feel bad because they always look miserable they make them they're fantastic but you know She's fucking like, you know, 80 years old. Yeah. Just like, I remember you took me to that one place.

I come walking in with my red face. Yeah, you took me to that one place. Probably the lady wasn't there anymore. Yeah, I would do, yeah, I would probably do breakfast burritos or any diner, Grand Slam breakfast. I'm a breakfast guy. I'd be crushing coffees all day, smoking cigars. I'd be that guy. I'd be that guy who has like his initials on the fucking collar.

I just start dressing like, what's his face from hockey night in Canada, Don Cherry. I would be a dapper, dude, old guy that's just about ready to drop every fucking day. Dude, I got to tell you something. I would go, like, sandwich. I would be wearing my funeral suit, Paul, every day. I would go sandwiches. I'm a sandwich guy. I would go chicken cutlet with the fresh muts and the red roasted peppers.

And I would go, yeah, dude, I got to go to that. I got to go to Bradley Cooper's thing, man. Like, I got to get that cheese steak, dude. The cheese steak rolls. It's incredible. Oh, dude, I got to do it, man. I got to do it.

And then what's amazing is you can go eat it in Thompson Square Park that used to be all fucking junkies when I first came that. Like, now it's like, I had no idea all of that stuff was in the park. But if I was on the East Coast, if I was on the East Coast, yeah, sandwiches. They don't do sandwiches right, West Coast. Really? L.A. No, it did, no. It's just, it's anything bread, dope, you know, it just doesn't work out there. That burger joint that Bartnick, that burger joint that Bartnick used to take us to in Pasadena was incredible.

Oh, yeah, that one. Yep. No, the burgers are great, burgers are crazy good in L.A. Burgers, Thai food, Mexican food, steak, steakhouses out, chop houses in L.A., fucking all of it is insane. absolutely fucking insane and the coffee is unbelievable and dantanis is good Italian food yeah I don't know

Dan Tannis is great or whatever but it's not like fucking New Jersey New York like the fucking I mean you can make a mistake in New Jersey and still get great

great Italian like just like stumble into a place like not even know about it it's like it's in like I remember when I was working the Count Basie theater out there and

where the fuck that is in Jersey and I just was like I'm gonna stop in this strip mall had like a little Italian like Delhi and I went

in there and I I accidentally like went to the spot like every chick there looked like the Italian real housewife you know all fucking you know tanned up with the big tities and shit and they just fucking do they had they had the spread in there

Paul like you and Joe would have just stopped and I was just it was totally by accident I wrote it down somewhere on my phone. I had it, but it was like one of those places that, like, they made everything fresh daily. And it was like, I was already living out in L.A. and I'm like, they just don't do this with this. Like, they do that with Mexican food out there, but they don't do it. You know, I, if I'm

going to get Italian, Paul, I'm back your way. See, that's what I love about traveling. It's like, I go to L.A. I'll go get a burger. I'll go, uh, I'll go get the burritos. I'll eat Mexican food. Then you come to New York. Producers to get into a movie. You, you, you, you, you, you, You do L.A. shit. All right. You know, I get to New York. I'm near the Port Authority. I just hand my wallet to somebody.

I just say, you know, I'm giving it. I don't, you know, Paul, I don't fight anymore. Wait, how many picks do we have left? Andrew, did Bill get all four? I got my four, and then we got the Monday night special. All right, so I got one more then. so uh oh bill you took the okay you took the dolphins they're all in uh you went falcons bills texans buccaneers no no no i went buccaneers but i didn't i didn't finalize the texans yet because i

asked you if you could tell me who was quarterbacking do you know who that is uh i had it up a second come on give me a good backup's name give me a good backup's name come on let me know them let me know them paul i have the dolphins browns and seahawks Yeah, but you're getting a Hey, Paul, Paul, no second date. No second date. Oh, Davis Mills. Yeah, dude, I can't, we can't hear you.

Davis Mills. Davis Mills. We can't hear you. We can't hear you. You can't hear me? Do you hear me now? No, I can't hear Paul. Can you hear me?

Yeah, now I can hear you. Davis Mills. I don't know if I like Davis Mills, dude. Oh, dude, he puts the fear of God in defenses in the NFL. Second, you know, Davis Mills is under center. Hey, the linebackers are going to be like, hey, Davis, is he open? I don't know, Bill. I don't like this, dude.

I can't take the Giants. I can't trust the Giants. I got it. I got it. I am going to take away the Texans because Stroud is hurt. I am going to take a team that is slowly surprising people and winning games and they are playing a bad team and they are at home. I am going to take the Carolina, our friend Joe Gonzalez,

Joe G's Carolina Panthers. I am going to take the Carolina Panthers minus five and a half at home against the hapless paper bag over the head wearing. Ains. Dude, and the Panthers have a surprisingly decent record. Dude, they're winning, they're home. Nobody's talking about them. These are two bad teams, but the Saints are worse, and the Panthers are home. So there you go.

I'm going to go Falcons, Panthers, Buccaneers, and Bill. I'll tell you right now, Paul, if word gets out, the Panthers might send you some free tickets to that game. Wait, if somebody picked us? I love this guy. Hey, anything better. Bet MGM, they picked the Panthers for the first time. By the way, we got a shout out, BetMGM, guys. We didn't do that at the beginning.

How dare I? Okay? BetMGM, guys, the best sports book out there, the best lines. You guys know them and love them. Me, Bill, Andrew, we've been with anything better for years and we love them. All you got to do is get your device right here. And I'll download the BetMGM app and put as little as $10 in your account and make your first wager. If that wager loses, if you lose the bet, you'll get $1,500 in bonus bets

to have fun with, okay, bet responsibly. They also, I'll use our code. Our code is Burr, B-U-R-R, very easy. They also have the first touchdown deal, game, promotion, whatever. You pick a player to get the first touchdown in any NFL game. If they get it, you win. If they don't, but in fact, get the second touchdown, you get your cash back. There you go.

It's that easy. Download, as we always say, bet responsibly. Have a good time with us, and there you go. Yeah, don't have something you need to, you know, tell your wife. We've got to sit down and talk. don't gamble like that. Hey, listen, there's something I got to tell you. No, no, no, no.

It's worse. He's crying. He goes, Verzi was good for four years. Either way, but there's no money I can give you now. But I just had some broad on the side. You could take the house. Bill, he leans forward like this. And he goes, Verzi was good for four years.

I don't know. I don't know what happened. You know why I said I got a promotion at work And that's why you were getting those minks and stuff I gotta be honest with I was just riding with Paul Versey Who's Paul Versey Who's Paul? Is there anything better than Paul Versey Dude

I had a woman I had a woman come up to me and go We bought tickets because you made us like three grand this year I swear to God I swear to God I'm serious A wife said that to me she goes dude You made us so much money this year we had to come to your show Hey, she's not a fan this year. Hey, that was an unfollow.

Hey, I'm not coming to her city this year, okay? Maybe in December. We'll see. Hey, I think I'm going to sit Portsmouth out. Well, I'll tell you, dude, I love your picks this week. I really do. Well, Bill, we have a pick to do now. You know what time it is.

And, dude, that fucking get, tell me on paper how you don't take the Cowboys versus the Cardinals. That didn't make, Kyler Murray's not playing. Dax having a fucking. MVP year. None of that he's throwing like fucking 9 million yards goes out there and he just shits the bed. I'm sick. It got me sick. Fucking Cowboys did it

two weeks ago. Rain, Dakota fucking Prescott did not show up. All right. It ain't him. Have that be funny to fuck with him? Seedy Lambs back. I was sitting there going, Paul's going two and two. Dude, we should fuck with him when we go to the game. Nice game, Rain. Hey, Dakota.

He gets enough shit, dude. The most thankless fucking job in the NFL is quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. It is. You have to listen, Paul. You got to get shit from men that get Botox and wear cowboy hats. Like, what the fuck world are we living with a shiny new pickup truck, four door with the four-foot bed sitting there acting like they got a ranch and they're going back to an HOA condo. You got to take shit from those people. Dude, dude, I got to tell you this.

By the way, I want to thank everybody who came out to Dallas and Houston the past couple days. Dude, Wednesday night, I'm in Dallas, and there were two guys in the front, and one guy had, like, the buttoned-up shirt, like the collar with the buttoned up, and he had the jeans. And there was just something about him where he kept saying things.

He's like, so you're going to talk about, like, he was doing stuff, and there was a guy next to him that just kind of, and long story short, I insinuated that they were gay. And he was, like, doing this and that. And then I don't know why. I go, this guy's going to, something happened. And they laughed and this guy sets. And I go, this guy's going to fuck you in the ass, right?

I go, I go, this guy's going to fuck you in the ass. And the whole place is laughing. Dude, then I find out that they are. Did you even pick it right? Did you get the top and bottom right, too? I got it. The guy goes, dude, yeah. Dude, he fucking said it.

And when during the meet and greet, he came on. And he kept whispering. He's like, yeah, dude, I fucking used to live in Philly. And I was just like, but dude, I went and the other guy was clearly the girl. The other guy was like this feminine. And dude, but when I said it, it was a joke. But I had like this fit. And people like, you know that's true.

And then he came up and it was really funny. I don't know why. Did you remind me back when I used to sell my DVDs after the show, this gay dude came up. He's like, oh, my God, I love him. he put his arm around me and then before he left he got a free feel he rubbed my chest and then walked away and I was like yeah I'm about four months to not feel it dude you make a good point though Dallas dudes are one or two ways Dallas dudes are um either do we lose bill all right we're back we had a little glitch there

where did I lose you no you're right though what you said. And what I've noticed is Dallas guys, you've got one or two different ways you get a Dallas guy. You either get the Dallas guy like the guy's guy, like the beard and like, you know, or you get a guy that's guy like cowboy boots and like a little feminine. Yeah. You know. Yeah. You have like the rancher Dallas guy and then somebody who's trying to be on the voice. Real house husbands of Dallas. I love Dallas. Dallas and Houston. I'm a big fan of Houston, Texas, Southpaw guitars, all lefty guitars. This is my favorite guitar place in the United States.

So that's the hardest thing when I go to Houston. It's not to go there and buy another guitar. I can't fucking play. Yeah, Dallas and Houston are I love. All right, Bill, you know what time. It is time for you to sing, buddy. I'm going to be on the voice right now. Let the Monday Night Special win some money for you. Let that Monday Night Special win a fucking bag of cash for you. All right, Pauley. All right. We hit two of them this year.

Back to back. We went 0 for October. Oh, oh, oh for October. Let's fucking get them some money this week. I think we're three. We've won three out of seven. Haven't we won three? Or no.

All right. We're playing with House Money at that point then. Well, whatever. All right, let's get your fans some money, Paul. All right, here we go. We have the Philadelphia Eagles visiting the just losing recently tough lost Packers, and the Packers are home minus two and a half. I think the Packers just lost.

Paul, let me ask you, does anybody know who these two teams are? Well, I know that there's a little weirdness going on with the Eagles every once in a while in the locker room, but they're still winning. And the Packers have a good team. Packers are home. Lambo field. Two and a half, though. Jordan Love, that's going to be a good game.

Two and a half. I think they're both going to bring their A game. I think this good game, Paul, I don't know shit. This is where I need Jake the Snake. I would say whoever has more their better players on the fucking field because they're evenly matched, I just need a nudge one way or the other. That's it. I think the Packers can hang.

the fucking Eagles but like if they have a big injury that they're gonna I mean it's a two point spread I love the Packers I think that there was an injury to the Eagles I don't know if he's back but I like the Packers coming home off a loss I think they're a good team we should

I like my back I like Jordan Love too I do like the Eagles so yeah and Nick Seriani I mean I love that guy yeah I did too he looks like he has problems sleeping too You can't shut it off, Paul. He can't shut it off.

Yeah. I like Nick Serial again. And he beat the Chiefs last year. So, like, how do you not love the Eagles? More to beat him. Oh, more than beat him. Oh, they called off the dogs. They called off the fucking dogs.

They were like the NFL fans are on to us. Just let him play. Oh, dude. Oh, did they get exposed? You called that one. I got to tell you, Bill, your playoffs, too. you had a rough regular season you got it to like

a little fewer like four games back but then your playoff run was epic and your Super Bowl prediction and then this year you start off better and you're back you're coming dude you're back I'm back to 500 Paul I am just an average guy

I got to get back to down under 10 I'm hurt all right let's do me now you know what you like you like the fucking Cowboys in 1994 49 is one. Then the next year you came back, you win it again. Dude, I'm going to tell you something right now.

I may beat the book by four or five games this year. I'm not done, dude. Once I get the break, I need the break. That's it. That's happening this week, Paul. Or I'm going to be down 20 in two weeks and apologize to everybody. All right. No, it is what it is.

I gave you four years. What do you want from me? All right, let's- Fuck that, Paul. I know. Paul Verzi doesn't throw the fucking towel. No. Not yet.

He talks shit until at least after Thanksgiving. It's got to be mathematically impossible before I start talking, stop talking shit. That's right. All right. I like the Packers, minus two and a half. So we're going to take that. What are we going to do? You want to do...

Jordan love to throw one. Jordan love to throw one. And do we want to do... I hate to do it. Do you want to do Sequin to get one? Oof, because you know they're going to give them the rock from the five-yard liner closer every time. And he's healthy. and he's good and he's coming off of

a season high game. Yeah. All right. All right, guys. I always love when we do this. I love when we take a team and then we bet that the other guy on the other team, the star on the other team is going to score against our team

and somehow they're still going to cover. No, because they do that stupid push push, but if they're five yards out, they give it to Sequin. So it's a safe bet because they're going to just give it to him that bullshit fucking fumble. Push, Paul. We're back to Dallas again. Stay focused.

Terrible. Easy joke. All right. So Jordan loved to throw one. Sequin. All right. So no surprises so far. What's, what's, uh, and no, and we got the game. We took the, we took the points, the, the spread. Okay. So there you go. What's the overrunner of Nick Siriani yelling at Packer fans down the tunnel after the game? No, after he did that, he changed. I think his wife was like, you look stupid.

Your wife, if you're a coach, your wife's got to say something to you do it. When he did this, remember he did this shit? Oh, he did better than that. Your wife's got to go, what do you do? That looked terrible. My wife would be like, Paul. Or when he walked through the tunnel, see ya. Remember he said that to the cheese fans?

He walked through the tunnel and he looked up and he goes, see ya. but I kind of like that because all those fat fucks like all those people they take out their whole childhood or their weak or their fucking loveless marriage on the guy and you got to sit there for three fucking hours he's a head coach in the NFL and you go out there and you just get like this that whole fucking thing where you got to be a professional because you're on the field but if you're in the stands and you bought a ticket you can say whatever you want dude malice in the palace should happen once. a week. And you wouldn't believe how good the fan behavior would get. Your joke is so great. You go, well, they came up there. And it's true. Dude, Ron Artez, Ron Artec, when he, oh, I guess he's met a world peace. When that cup hit him, you just saw it. He was, he just, he bounced up off the thing and ran in and just started swinging on guys that didn't do it. I know. Yeah, he grabbed the wrong guy. I like that one guy who went out on the court and he starts squaring off with what's his face. Who's like,

six foot nine, six, ten, like he was going to beat him. Oh. And you know it was funny when you saw that big dude throw a punch, you're just like, you've been like nine feet tall since the first grade. So he like, it looks like he was throwing a ball in, like NBA, NBA players throw punches like they're trying to do that Dave Parker throw in the All Star game from the warning track. They can't. There's no accuracy. They throw, they miss each other. It's unreal. No, because it starts here and their arm is so long. Their arms go behind. their heads. Their arms go behind their heads, dude.

This was a fun episode. The only thing this missed was Jake the Snake. There's a fun episode, dude. Jake the Snake's the heart of the show, though. Jake, Jake to Snake is just, there's something about that kid. If that guy doesn't give you a smile on your face, I don't know what will. You're not live, Paul. But that's the show, everybody.

Yeah, check me out. Gotham on Monday at 7 o'clock with Paul's Best. with John Starks. Also, what do we got? We got Thanksgiving Eve. I'm going to be at Lovity Live where I shot my Netflix special. And I'm doing a theater in Connecticut

on December 12th. I need to get people in there. December 12th, Newtown, Connecticut. Edmund Town Hall Theater. Get your tickets for that. And yeah, I'm going to be working some stuff out at old Uncle Vinny's down in Point Pleasant. I may get a piece of pizza this Saturday, Bill.

I may go down there, run some jokes and get a piece of piece. I thought you were going to go, wow. I might get a piece of ass down there. I'm like, Paul. You, dude, I'm going to Uncle Vinny. I'm going to go, I'm going to go to Uncle Vinny's and point pleasant to work out my jokes and work something else out, all right? Go to Paul Verzi.com for all my dates. You guys, dude, I got two big, big numbers here.

The Falcons, now the Falcons getting six and a half is on a big number. But me and you, me and Bill going head to head, Bill's, dolphins, we're going to see if the dolphins quit. That's going to be a good one. I love that Falcons pick, man. I hope so. Just the whole storyline you built for that game. I think you're on it on that one. All right, that's it, everybody.

Thank you for watching. Bet responsibly, and we will talk to you next week. Thank you.