Anything Better? - Tell Your Friends Mr. Virzi Did This

Episode Date: April 29, 2023

Is there Anything Better than Bill & Paul talking about playoffs and steaks? Tawkify is offering our listeners 20% off when you become a client at www.Tawkify.com/BETTER

What's up everybody and welcome back to the Anything Better podcast with your host myself Paul Berthie over here, Bill Burr over there. And, of course, the Greek freak, producer extraordinaire, the Beverly Hills kid, Andrew Themlis. Guys, we're back. We are back. People are reaching out. Listen, we got a lot of shit going on, but we are back with the show. People are saying, is anything better coming back?

It is coming back. And guess what? We're on episode 77, which means what, Bill? Who are we talking about here? Number 77. Okay, there's two great ones. Two great ones, both Hall of Fame defensemen in the National Hockey League, both who started off wearing number seven.

Paul Coffey from the Edmonton Oilers, the LA Kings, the Hartford Whalers, the LA Kings the Hartford Whalers the Pittsburgh Penguins the Boston Bruins the Detroit Red Wings he realized after Edmonton that it was a business and number 77 where are you?

I was going backwards in the mirror there for your Boston Bruins Raymond Bork who also started up wearing number 7 and that was Phil Esposito's number going backwards in the mirror there for your boston bruins raymond bork who else would start up wearing number seven and that was uh phil esposito's number and they had yet to retire it um so then he switched to 77 dude my boston bruins are in a game seven we were up three games to one and we won we won that third game we were up 4-0 with like three minutes to go, and we let in two more goals.

And I said to my buddy, I fucking hate that we let them knock in those last two goals. That's the difference between winning this series in five games and six. We gave them hope, Paul. Well, you know what? They got never say die, so can anything can happen here and uh i will tell you this this is my favorite time of year in sports because you have two two leagues in the playoffs and when a team leagues i mean loses this is like what i feel like sports writers

and fans love this part of the year because they love seeing athletes fail. And it's why they ask the questions that they ask. Like I saw that guy ask that question to Giannis, do you consider this a failure? And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So he gave him a really intelligent answer. And now there's all this pushback going like, Oh, it sounds like a bunch of excuses. And you know, it was a complete failure and blah,

blah, blah. It's just all of these fucking people that are saying that shit. It's like, I want to see your life. I want to see your fucking life and how you, you, you,

you take it to fucking task every day. It's like one person wins it. One team wins it every year. It's practically fucking impossible wins it. One team wins it every year. It's practically fucking impossible to achieve with these guys. And when they don't every single year, some fat fuck in a Tommy Bahama shirt just to go like, do you feel like a loser? And they're just trying to piss them off because the whole year these guys are a foot taller than them. Their dicks are a foot longer and they're banging puss that's over the horizon in their world.

So then they get to just be cunts. Yep. By the way, we can't forget number 77, Luka Donic, speaking of the NBA. Sorry, dude. I went total left turn there. No, no, no. Speaking of the NBA, Luka Donic, number 77, unbelievable talent. But listen, let's talk about what we should be talking about in the NBA.

Paul, do you feel like you let your city down? I didn't. You want to know why? Because it's orange and blue skies, baby. It's orange and blue skies, just like Stephen A. Smith. The New York Knickerbockers are gonna fucking beat the listen to this you ready for this you ready for this the new york knickerbockers are gonna beat the miami heat in this series because even though the miami heat are great even though jimmy butler is on

another planet right now he's really what all they got and i think the knicks have the defense to defend that i think the knicks are overlooked and underrated i think the knicks have the defense to defend that i think the knicks are overlooked and underrated i think they are going to the eastern conference finals game one is tomorrow i was in that building with my son i got one for you i had four shows in new york city on friday night and a fan of mine why didn't you you do five, Paul? Did you feel like you could have done five, but you only did four? And do you feel like you let the stand down? Paul, are you ashamed of yourself?

Do you feel you let down your family? Imagine if he said, are you ashamed of yourself? No. So a fan of mine, a fan of mine is the equipment manager of the Knicks. How great is life, right, for me? That's pretty good. And he goes, hey, man, I could get you and your boy in the building on Friday. So I called up Patrick.

I called up Patrick. Ewing? What? I called up Patrick Ewing, and I said I can't do my spots at the stand. Oh. He could give him a fight. So you're talking Kn nicks you said patrick there's only one patrick the booker of the stand and um i go dude i'm not coming in for the spots i got and he goes dude absolutely go to that game dude so i uh i went and i made up the spots at other days, of course, and I always do that because the nutty comic in me has got to get those rips. Do you feel that you let the team down by not being there that first day?

I feel ashamed of myself, Bill. No, I don't give a fuck. Paul, can you imagine if you had to do a press conference after your fucking stand-up show talking to people who aren't funny that's what these guys have to do they have to talk to unathletic people who question what it is that they did out there yeah i mean look they know what they signed up for though that's what that's that's they did that in college too you know paul i'm really getting tired of that what that whole fucking whole fucking, well, hey, what did you think was going to happen? Fuck you.

And then it's just like, so they have to deal with that behavior. It's like, why can't, like, the athlete always has to do better. Why can't the fucking analysis do better? Whatever the fuck you call them. Like, watching J.J. Redick fucking trashing Stephen A. Smith, going, you obviously haven't played this game at a professional level and he's got he's still sitting going like okay i'm gonna listen but i'm gonna respond how are you gonna respond he's an nba player he has so much fucking more insight than you will ever

fucking have i don't care who you're friends with like what what is your mindset at that point i'm gonna respond you with your intellect or with your ego. Right. Yeah. No, it's I love that whole fucking thing is, hey, they know what they signed up for. Fuck you. Why don't why doesn't that fucking nameless cunt who's off camera in his loveless fucking marriage? Why doesn't he fucking deal with his own shit?

Instead of dumping it on the other player and trying to get some sort of schadenfreude by going after Giannis right after he lost the fucking... Of course the guy's upset. Of course he's not fucking happy. But now he's got to fucking... To add insult to injury, he's got to sit there and

talk to some man-titted fucking cunt who can't even run to the center court without face plant no dude i agree with all that but when has that not happened when is that not that's all i'm saying when the fuck were these guys not annoying after how many clips of bill what do you mean that's still a bad point. But Bill, it's been when when was there not racism? I mean, what the fuck do you think is going to happen? Don't work on it. That's that's fucking that's different, though.

That's discrimination. When wasn't I a fucking fat fuck? I mean, what are we doing here? I mean, at some point you got to stop. No, I just think like those type of questions have nothing to do with the game. They are deliberately hostile. They're trying to get a reaction out of the guys. So they have a nice, easy article. And then it's also that that question has nothing to do with basketball.

That is the sports writers own jealousy and envy. And he's catching this guy in a fucking moment of vulnerability and he's trying to fucking put the screws to him hoping he's gonna snap and fucking slam the table and do all of that shit and like the same way like you're watching those things where you know where they're sitting there questioning guys hearts hearts and stuff like that. I will tell you this, Paul, to get off of that subject, going back to your Miami Heat, what's his face there on the Heat? Why don't I just flake on his fucking name?

Butler? Yeah, Jimmy Butler. Jimmy Butler wants, he's one of those guys, Paul, he wants 80 road games a year, and he wants to send you and your kid home crying. That guy, I want no part of him. I am so fucking happy the Knicks are playing the Heat and we get the Sixers. Not saying the Sixers are going to be easy.

Not saying I know shit about NBA hoop. But I've watched enough NBA playoffs to know that I don't want any part of Jimmy Butler ever. And I don't give a fuck how little people he has. That guy, he basically took over that last series, no? He did. He did. Yeah, I mean, yeah. That's kind of what he does.

And I just feel like he's sitting down there, oh, you got yourself a little basketball mecca, do you? Is Spike Lee going to show up with 43 things that say nicks on it i hope he brought some nicks kleenex that's gonna be a great series paul here's the deal i hope you win i hope you win but i am amazed though that's your cavalier attitude towards jimmy butler paul do you feel like you let other Knicks fans down? No, but let's go back to what we were – I want to go back to what we were saying about the reporters. I think that what's brilliant about what Bill Parcells and Bill Belichick is,

Bill Belichick and Bill Parcells makes those reporters scared of that question, and that's what was so brilliant about what they did. You know, Giannis is a nice guy, so they probably thought they could take advantage of him. But, dude, could you imagine if they asked Bill Parcells or Bill Belichick that? Well, then why can't he be like, you know, you consider this a failure?

Why can't he just come at him? You know, do you think your wife considers you a failure? you know do you think your wife considers you a failure you know at the end of the day don't you think your wife wishes that you were me instead of you that would be oh my god and let me ask you this if you were me and you were making the money i was making and achieving at the level that I'm achieving, by the way, I do have a ring. How great would it be if you won a match? Who do you think's happier right now?

My wife after us losing in the first round of the playoffs or your wife? Oh, my God. How would you come home with your bad fucking back and your donut tits oh my god dude how great would that be how great would it be if he goes like this he goes do you consider it a failure that you just have the worst questions in this press conference every every week do you consider that a failure that you're you consider the kind of car you drive a failure and this is

the thing that's equal dude that's going back in him but but if you make more money than somebody else you're not allowed to do that but somebody who's underneath can sit there going like yeah are you going to be able to look your kids in the eye like this shit that they can say to him just because they're making more fucking money it's just like he it's like hey man i'm treating you just like how you treat me. I'm treating you as a peer. I'm going to come at you. Yeah. Do you consider it a failure that your bank account looks like it does and mine looks like it does? That would be epic. Do you feel like a failure because you can walk from one end of your house to the other in four steps oh shit you considered a failure that you can only speak one fucking language

you consider yourself a failure that i wasn't i didn't even live here i lived in greece and i ascended to the top of one of your fucking sports leagues and won a fucking championship and what have you done you bought a laptop and you write about what I do go fuck yourself and if you said any of that dude you'd be considered an arrogant asshole and all these people in the comments would get upset because there was

all these fucking people like we're writing you know sounds like a bunch of excuses to me and I want to be like let me see your no excuse life behind your fucking keyboard, you cunt. I hate that shit, dude. The number one thing that I hate about in the new world is the level of shit that somebody can fucking talk and not get an ass kicking because there's cameras everywhere. And then you're going to get sued. Right?

It's like it protects. It protects bitches. It protects fucking. It protects weak people. You know? And then it also protects people who have nothing to lose. So, like, that guy has nothing to lose. He can say that outrageous shit to somebody who's seven feet tall and could fucking put him you know through the other side of his fucking house right but

that guy's like well i can't do that because that's gonna cost me millions so then this fucking shithead shithead paul and the guy goes he goes you ask me that every year no he went like this he went ugh like he was so he asked me this every year so that's another thing too Paul Paul you go to Milwaukee right bless you when you go to Milwaukee Paul

do you come back with the same fucking jokes right this guy's literally coming back with the same questions like these are the questions i ask when you lose right right you know what paul his dedication to his craft is the same dedication he has to the gym and you know what else dude they also have the power to be like not vote for you and not like you don't get the like the vote the top vote first ballot vote if you. Like you don't get the, like the vote, the top vote, first ballot vote.

If you're a dick, they'll leave you out. Like reporters have done that before where they don't like a guy. So they'll be like, yeah, I'll get them in, but I'll get them in like second ballot. You know, like that's fucked up,

man. The power that they have. It isn't Paul. Cause that's how they are. No, I know. Fucking petty people. Paul,

people are fucking petty. They're not fucking happy. And they go into their fucking ego. I know. Fucking petty people. People are fucking petty. They're not fucking happy. And they go into their fucking ego. I mean, you're looking at someone doing it right now. Sorry. Talkify, everybody. You know, confidence is key when it comes to dating. All right.

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80% of clients met their person within their first 12 matches. And right now, Talkify is offering listeners 20% off when you become a client at Talkify.com slash better. That's T-A-W-K-I-F-Y.com slash better for 20% off when you become a client. Sorry, got the hiccups. Talkify.com slash better. Orange and blue skies, baby. Orange blue skies We're gonna beat them in six We're gonna beat them in six, you heard it here first Alright, I'll take that bet I don't wanna bet against you, but I wanna have a bet If you wanna have a bet, I'll do something

We're going to Eastern Conference Finals I don't wanna bet that I don't wanna bet that I'd rather play the Knicks And I don't know shit about you guys But I do know your history. Okay? I would rather face orange and blue skies

than fucking Jimmy Butler and May. I don't want no part of Jimmy Butler and May. Dude, they're not that good. They're the eighth seed, dude. They're not that... You guys would fucking beat them in five. Oh, yeah? What seed did they just knock out, Paul? I understand that, but I don't think that – listen.

I don't think – I know. Actually, I know that he played hurt. Giannis played hurt. He did. He's got a bad back. He fucking played hurt. You're pushing too much. I'm not buying it.

Listen, there's no reason that that team should have lost to that team. He played hurt, and he didn't make excuses. He didn't talk about it. But everybody who knows basketball knows he played with a bad back. And listen, it happens. But the Heat are done, dude. The Heat are done with us. It'll be a good series until 6.

I'm confident. I was going to say, you're relaxed. You're confident. You did one of these with your head. I'll be honest with you. I'm afraid of the 76ers like if if it's between you and the 76ers i'd rather play dude because what's his name is having an mvp year and the 76ers are are really good so i don't want to play them but i'll i'll

roll the dice against miami definitely and you guys i think would be scary but it would be you know it's going to be fun dude it's just fun to have my team in it. The NBA playoffs. This is how I look at it. The three teams that are left for us to play, I'd rather play the Knicks, then the Sixers, then the Heat. Wow. All right. Dude, the fucking Heat, you know.

Certain teams just shit the bed every year in the fucking playoffs. Other teams, no matter what fucking seed they are, they just show up and they're a pain in the ass. I got to give you that. The Heat are always fighters. They're brutal. They're fucking brutal. I mean, I don't mean when they buy a bunch of free agents, that bullshit.

But Jimmy Butler, dude. That fucking guy. Jimmy Buckets. Jimmy Buckets. Nothing but a fucking net. Jimmy Buckets. Jimmy Buckets. Nothing but fucking net. Great nickname. Jimmy Buckets. I'll tell you.

So the Bruins won the President's Trophy, most points in the league, and they also had the greatest, most wins of any team in, like, the modern era. Like, the last – I think they had the most wins period but i don't know they play like more games and shit and they count ties so this it's a little bit different than when the canadians did it in 77 canadians basically dominated a 16 league and then a 12 team league um and they've just sort of been resting on their haunches about that for the last 50 fucking years but um so we're one game away from blowing it this is what kills me paul is basically this happens every year like if you win the president's trophy like the odds are actually against you if

you look about as far as like when but every year they're like you you know, a sports writer. It's like, what happened? Hockey's weird. You know what I don't like about fucking ESPN and all those fucking assholes? Is I know that they know that the regular season is just that. It's the regular season. It doesn't mean shit. Anybody can go into somebody's city and play one game against the best team in the league and win. But to play seven games in a fucking row in the battles that happen

within the battles, the psychological wear and tear. It's completely fucking different. And then they always act like super surprised. Like, you know, how did that happen? You know, like football. They were 13 and three.

If you're 13 and three team, I'm sorry. You got to come in here and you got to ball. It's like it's different. It's different. So we are the Bruins are on the verge of proving not not defying the odds. not defying the odds. We are on the verge, dude, of winning 65 out of 82 fucking games and losing to a fucking eighth seed in the first goddamn round. We can't close them out.

Wow. We keep going up at the end of the game, and then we just fucking let in like fucking – I don't even know why. I didn't want to talk about last night's game. I don't even know what the fuck happened. Well, the Rangers, the Rangers were two up to all. The game was fucking three to three.

The game. The game was three to three with 16 minutes left. The final score was seven to five. It's like, what the fuck am I watching here? Yeah, that's a lot. It is a lot. It's not playoff hockey. So I don't know what's I don't understand what's going on.

But I will tell you this, though. Like, yeah, I kind of knew early on that the Panthers had a lot of heart, and that was kind of making me – you know, I always get nervous, Paul. I'm the opposite of you. You got Jimmy Buckets coming to town, as you say. And, Paul, you don't have a care in the world. You got your feet up. You got some sandals on. You don't give a fuck. I'm the opposite. I walk the widow's walk. I'm a worrywart.

Worrywart. It's a worrywart. And I just watch basketball all year. I know we have better guards. I know we have better defense. We also have the number one offensive rebounder in the NBA. When you have the number one offensive rebounder in the NBA, that doesn't matter any fucking – he's the fucking best. You know what you should have said, Paul? What? You should have said, Bill, I don't mean this in a bad way, but you sound like a guy who has not watched a lot of professional

basketball this year. Yeah, your argument is Jimmy Butler, man. He makes some big shots, which he does, though. He does. You are right about that. That is not my argument. My argument is he makes some big shots. Jimmy Butler is a reptile.

Ice water, dude. Ice. He is cold-blooded. He's a reptile's doe. Dude, Jimmy Butler wants nothing more. He doesn't just want to beat the next Nia. Jesus Christ. Paul, he wants to beat you.

He wants to clinch her in the garden. Is that how much you're fighting with your wife? You're just calling me? I'll tell you another thing, Nia. I need Paul. I've been dealing with this shit for 10 years, Nia. I mean, Paul. No, it wasn't.

And another thing, Nia. Sorry, Paul. That's funny. And I'll leave my socks wherever I want, Nia. I mean, Paul. No. That's funny. The guy that fights with his wife so much so he inserts it in every other argument.

Hey, Knicks can't play defense, you know, the same way my wife won't watch any fucking ditches. I was just going to say. You know, listen, dude. It's a three to two series, but you pick the kids up from school. No, we've actually been getting along

great. In fact, that's when we're done with this. I'm going to go pick her up. We're going to go hang out and get some lunch. I'm loving it, Paul. I'm loving semi-retired Bill Burr. I was. I was semi-retired for like three months. But, Paul, oh, I got some ideas. I got some ideas, and we're putting them on the paper.

Nice. Putting them on the paper. I ran something by you yesterday. You kind of liked that idea. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Yeah. Yeah, that's good shit, man.

How nice is just – Well, I will tell you this. If the Bruins aren't going to win the cup, if they're not going to win the cup, I just say rip the Band-Aid off and lose the game seven. All right? Oh, Paul. You know what I see, dude? I got to be honest with you, Paul. Out of all all the fucking teams i see the fear you got dude you

got fear i don't have fear it's sadness you got your bruins jacket and there's a lot of concern in that face not concerned paul it's it's uh no, it isn't. I used to, I don't, I don't, my, my, the level that I care doesn't manifest itself anymore is that it's just, I get quiet and I get sad. Yeah, I know. I'll tell you, Paul, out of all the four sports, the four teams in Boston sports, the Bruins are the closest to my hat. They're the ones, you know, out of all the teams to where a loss hurts. I'll tell you what, Paul, you know what hurt more than both those Giants loss? Was that loss to the St. Louis Blues in 2019. Because the Blues beat the Bruins playing Bruins hockey.

And we stopped playing Bruins hockey because the league was like, we don't want hockey like that anymore. We want like Olympic hockey. So we got rid of all of our fucking tough guys. And the Blues came in and manhandled us. And to watch a fucking Bruins hockey team get fucking manhandled, I don't think I'll ever get over that. We've been a lot of things, Paul.

We've been dumb, taking stupid penalties. We've been bullies. We've been all of that shit. But we've never been manhandled and we got fucking manhandled and not not in the beginning towards the end of that series just physically manhandled and uh it it just fucking still bugs me like to the point i will never love the saint louis blues again i'm not like i loved them before, but I'm always, I root against the Blues now. I think every sports fan has something that happened that hurts so bad that it just leaves a

mark. And I think for me, it was obviously the Red Sox coming back when we were up 3-0. That's just never going to go away. That's just a scar. You know, when you see somebody in a car accident, they got a scar. That's never going to go away, dude. It's just you just deal with it. The only thing worse is the pain. It fades. Because I'll tell you, like everybody talked about, you know, that Aaron Boone home run the year before.

That wasn't going to be what stuck. You know what I mean? Like in the game six against the Mets, there was a pass ball and the ball behind the bag, and the Mets win it. Got by Buckner. The Buckner thing stuck. The pass ball didn't. I feel that if we didn't win, we were still waiting.

And that game seven we blew in 03, what a stuff would have been. Well, I forget now because we won the next year. It was either inning seven or inning eight when the whole thing just fucking blew up and you guys came back. Whatever inning it was, when we had the game won, we were like five outs away. It was the eighth inning or something. And then you guys came back and you tied it up. And then the 10th and 11th inning, Aaron Boone got it off Wakefield. Oh, that's when, what's his name? Pedro or somebody. Brady Little. He kept Pedro in and Posada got that bloop and we tied it at five.

That's the one. That was the one. I remember where I was at. I don't remember where I was at. Oh, I do remember when Aaron Boone. I was at home in my apartment by then. But I remember standing outside. Standing outside of Dangerfield, which was so perfect for a Red Sox fan back then. Right outside of day.

I don't get any respect, okay? And, I mean, you could almost hear him cheering from the fucking Bronx up the street. And I was standing there, and I ran into Bobby Kelly. Dude, we literally couldn't watch. We were walking to a pizza parlor and then walking back out and then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I remember he had to go downtown to do a spot,

and I had to go back to my apartment to watch the rest of the game. We both just looked at each other like, all right, dude, it's still tied. You know, they could hit a home run and maybe something. Dude, my wife and mother-in-law were at that game, was at that game. Isn't that a sin? I mean, good for my wife, but. I was at the game Boone hit the ball out. I was there in the left field side, third baseline, second tier.

I watched the ball go by my head, and I literally forgot the rules of baseball. I was like, wait a minute. That's it. That's got to be it. We don't get out of that. I mean, my brain shut down. But earlier, Bill, when you were talking about how that happened, Pedro was up. He had – it was him and giambi he faced off against giambi and pedro threw heat right by giambi with second ball same thing third pitch he throws heat again and that was the mistake

giambi like he tracked him at that point It was all over. Had Pedro thrown like anything else, Giambi would have whiffed. That's my time. You know what's so funny about that? Just you going through that, Andrew, brought pain back. No. Well, I was going to say what's so funny is when he said he saw the ball by his head going up, you're in such pain and disbelief that you start going over the rules of baseball.

Well, there's that thing, too, when you're there and you don't have an announcer's voice. Yeah. You kind of sometimes you're like, hey, what the fuck just happened? And there's always some, you know, guy who's actually paying attention. Yeah. You forget. Wait, do we have our bottom half of the inning? Like, what's going on here?

It's like, yeah, no, it's over. Yeah, like a seven-year-old kid like turned around because I had my Red Sox hat on. And a seven-year-old kid just turned around and just goes, Red Sox suck. Like right in my face. I was like, that was brutal. Dude.

It really does. Because you couldn't argue because he was right. Dude, I got to tell you something. Overrated is fucking going to sporting events dude the shit that was being yelled at even at the knicks game with my son my son laughed because like we were home and we were obviously outnumbered any any of the enemy and like you know he laughed at the curses and he laughed at like the chance and like we'll still scream Trey Young sucks even though it's not against Atlanta like it nixed it but like it really is just dumb like the the the visceral yelling and cursing and you see people

sometimes pushing or like you see fans of the other team going up the ramp and people like hey get the fuck out of here it really is dumb dude it's like being home is safer and better than they were riding in the streets jumping on poles screaming like but the one guy there is this one italian kid the one italian kid that rallies all the nick fans dude it really it's my son's favorite thing he really is funny he goes like this he goes uh so it started with durant and and Kyrie when they went to the Nets. And he just goes, all right, everybody, everybody, hold on. And, dude, the street is – 7th Avenue is packed. And all the Knicks fans get quiet for this kid.

He goes, oh, shh, shh, shh, shh. And he's like this Italian kid. It's like me on steroids, like just nuts. And he just goes, hey, Kyrie, baby. And everybody gets cut. He goes, don't you wish you came to the Nets. So Donovan Mitchell, Donovan Mitchell grew up in Westchester. He grew up in Elmsford.

He was on the Jazz. And everybody said he was between the Knicks and the Cavs. And he went to the Cavs. They gave him more money or whatever. So they go outside. We beat the Cavs in the series. We outside the kids there there's cameras on the kid and that you know his nickname is Spider-Man is Donovan Mitchell's name so he goes alright he goes yo Spidey don't you wish when i tell you seventh avenue get quiet and then they go next so lucas lucas just keeps sending me the clips i'll send it to you it's fun it's really hey wait a minute uh andrew can you pull that up

the guy that says yo spidey don't you wish you came to the next it's the fucking best. It's really fun. But, dude, I don't want to be in the streets when it's fucking mobbed, going to my car, people yelling, people honking, my son looking around. You just got to remember when you were young and single, like you were harmless. You were just drunk and being loud. But once you become a dad and you're walking with your kids, you start getting nervous, like, oh, you're getting that paranoid. What if something happens to my kids?

So I think bringing kids to events like that, there's two things. Bringing kids, and then when you just get older. You know what it is, Paul? It's the flat screen TV, the fucking surround sound, and all of that stuff. For me, I don't like live sporting events. I can't deal with the fucking DJs. It's just like, just stop playing fucking music.

Yeah, they don't do that at the Garden, thank God. They didn't do any of that shit. I know, I didn't come here to go to a fucking rave. I'm here to see a fucking game, dude. It's the most frustrating thing ever. Hey, Bill, hey, Bill. Why are you playing? Why are you drowning out when I paid a ticket to watch?

Hey, Bill. Where Brooklyn at? Brooklyn. Fucking words. Oh, dude. Yeah, that Brooklyn Nets game was every five seconds. Yo, Brooklyn, we go hard. Yo, Brooklyn.

Where Brooklyn at? Brooklyn. We go hard. Yo, Brooklyn. Where Brooklyn at? Brooklyn. It's like the fucking, the whole fucking game. Horrible.

Horrible. Hey, Pauly, what borough are we in? I don't remember. I mean, nothing. When we beat those fucking rats and then they got lost in the first round and their stars left, fuck them. I can't stand Brooklyn. I can't stand the Nets. You know what's funny about New Yorkers, though, Paul,

is you guys all think we give a fuck what borough you're from. That's the dumbest thing, too, that people claiming boroughs. It's so dumb. No, when you just ask a guy, well, for Brooklyn, just the way they say it's like all right all right okay and then you want to be like all right what did what did you do exactly that made the borough so tough i'm not saying there's not tough guys there but it's just like i just don't feel like the real tough guys are doing that i just feel feel like it's, it's kind of like, you know, it's like the New York slice of pizza, Paul, right? Arguably the greatest slice in the world.

Well, that's this. All right. So it's the guy, Bill, it's the guy in the middle with the hat. You see the guy with the black hat? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And look at the guy, dude, the guy to the right of him is like his hype man, the kid that looks like Chris Tucker. And he kind of beats him to the punch. But all of those people, and that goes all the way down a block, are involved in this. He gets everybody quiet, and then he asks, don't you wish you came to the Knicks?

Go ahead, Andrew. It's the best. Don't you wish you came to the Knicks? You've got to start at the beginning. Everybody shut up. Go. Fighting. Don't you watch. Don't you watch.

You can't do this. That's awesome. Yeah, it's funny, man. Yeah, that whole fucking I grew up. My dad fucked my mom in a burrow, so I'm going to claim it and be tough. I never understood that. Like, you know where I'm from?

From the Bronx, baby. Fucking BK. It's like, what does that mean? Oh, so you know where I'm from? We don't play that. I want to be like, you know where I'm from? We do play that. We 100% play that, and we have no problem you know where I'm from? We do play that. We 100% play that

and we have no problem. Yeah, I'm from the Bronx. We don't play that shit. It's like, what? What aren't you playing? What am I missing? Because there's a bunch of tough people from the Bronx, so he's going to say, hey, I'm from the Bronx. I don't play that shit.

He's going to get in your head you're supposed to think like wow there's a lot of tough guys from the Bronx is this one of them it's kind of like well if he was I think he'd already be beating the fuck out of me what it really is is some of those kids like when they say Queensbridge like Nas and some of those rappers what it is is they grew up in the Queensbridge projects which is so fucking horrible and such a horrible atmosphere that what they did is they hung out together they rapped in the thing and that's how they got through it that's I'm not talking about those guys Paul that's what I'm saying no I know that's different no no that is you know the guys I'm talking about let Let me grab a water here. Hang on a sec.

All right, guys. Well, listen. We're going to wrap up 77. I'm going to say this. Does Bill have a point with Jimmy Butler? Yes. Does Jimmy Butler scare me that he can take over a game at the Garden if we're up eight with three minutes left? Yes.

Do I think the Knicks have the talent? Am I going to emotionally eat after the game when I lose money and watch my team left? Yes. Do I think the Knicks have the talent? Am I going to emotionally eat after the game when I lose money and watch my team lose? Yes. Does my wife not hug me enough and tell me she loves me? Yes. Yes. But I do like the Knicks in six because I think we have the guards

and the defense. Good luck with the Bruins. Shout out to the Ranger fans who still have a chance. They were up 2-0 on the Devils. Now the Devils are winning 3-2. I fucking hate the Devils. They almost ruined hockey. But here's the beautiful thing.

Clutch and grab, left wing lock, boring ass fucking. Marty Brodeur gets another shutout. Is he the greatest goaltender ever? Well, when you're fucking dry humping every fucking scorer in the league before they even get to the fucking blue line. Why did I bring it up, Andrew? I'm sorry. No.

Oh, no. I like the Rangers. I like the Rangers. I like the Knicks. I want the Knicks to win, Paul. Well, you know what? Your godson, Lucas, would appreciate that. But let me tell you this. Let me tell you this. Let me tell you something. Well, you know what? Your godson, Lucas, would appreciate that.

But let me tell you this. Let me tell you this. Let me tell you something. The nice thing is your sports city is in it. My sports city is in it. And it's just nice to have – listen, man, sports is stress too. Oh, you know me, Bill. I stand up the last minute and a half in the living room pacing back and and forth stacy's not allowed to come down or talk if it's if it's anything anything if it's the nick she got you guys want something for dinner not now

i know dude i don't hate that part of the game i fucking hate how much i care i fucking hate it i was watching the end of that fucking bruins game just going, what the fucking fuck? And I was getting so fucking pissed. I wasn't, you know, I got kids now, so it's all internal, Paul. It goes into me and into the cushion like a fucking fat dick. Me and Lucas will look at each other and go, one more possession? Is that the dagger? One more.

We go like this. There'll be like three minutes and 20 seconds, and I do the math. I'm like, no, we're up 12, dude. We get a three here. If you do the possessions by the 24-second clock, we're going will be like no not yet though I don't know yet it's just lunacy it's fucking lunacy uh it's crazy but I love that's awesome dude that you're watching games with your son at that at that level now man that's amazing yeah that's amazing dude he's never gonna forget that no being at the garden with him we were hugging tight it was fucking amazing dude it was like it's our thing and now i'm gonna take my

little girl to like taylor swift or something because i'm not gonna leave her out you know so we got to do something if that fucking taylor swift ticket that's all that's really going on there paul you're rooting for your team and win or lose, you still love your son. And then you got this cunt going like, you know, do you feel like a failure? I know. Let me ask you something though, not to get off the subject. And you know me, Bill. I'm the last, you know me, Bill, out of all your friends. And I know you know this about me, Andrew, you do too. I'm not, I can't stand a cheap fuck. Okay. I spend, I spend. You want to go to dinner? I got it. I don't give a fuck.

Okay. I don't care about money. I don't give a fuck, dude. You know what? Like life is short, dude. I'll fucking buy whatever. I'll buy everybody a steak. I don't give a fuck.

Okay. But that being said, Taylor Swift tickets are fucking 1500 a pop. It's like, who am I going to see here, dude? Michael fucking Jackson did it. What do we spend? Who fucking Billy Joel and Elton John aren't that? Can I get I'll buy everybody a steak on a fucking T-shirt? I want that whole rant written out.

And you know me, I'll give a fuck. I'll buy everybody a steak. All right, guys, this has been episode wait wait i was laughing how much were our tickets so there was a big thing where the fucking internet crashed on taylor swift's tour and now when you want to go try to find tickets dude they're like they're upwards of like 1500 to get into a football stadium. And I don't care. I'll take my daughter. My daughter doesn't like her like that, but I'm just going like, I want to get my daughter, take some friends. For 300 bucks, you can get a karaoke machine.

You guys can sing all of her songs at home. Make some s'mores, you know? Hand each girl $200. You're still going to save a thousand. Dude, if I hand each girl $200, I'm a fucking hero. Just like Sophia, bring your friends to the house. I have a stack of hundreds. I just start handing little girls hundreds.

Mommy, Daddy, Mr. Verzi's the best. All right, guys, this has been episode- Hey, you tell all your friends Mr. Verzi did this You tell your fathers I'll buy them a steak This has been episode 77, guys We had a great time We're back We're back in full effect here

And we're having a good time Enjoy the playoffs, everybody And we will be back next week Oh, by the way I got to do a couple plugs here Got. Got to do a couple of plugs here. Andrew, when's this coming out? Tonight. Nice. Guys, this weekend,

I'm going to be at the brand new New York comedy club in Stanford, Connecticut. It's a brand new state of the art club. It's amazing. I was there opening night. You guys are going to love it. I'm doing two shows Cinco de Mayo Friday, two shows on the sixth Saturday. And then I'm going to be going to Raleigh, North Carolina, May 17th, Charlotte, North Carolina, May 18th. I am in Hilarities, June 1st in Cleveland. I'm doing a theater in Northern Idaho guys. I'll be at Sandpoint Panita theater in Idaho on June 8th. I'm going on the 9th to 11th. I'll be at the punchline in Atlanta. Then I'm going to side splitters in Tampa,

go to paulversey.com for all of my dates, check out my special nocturnal admissions and check out the Versey effect. Check out obviously this one and me and Bobby Kelly have done something, do something called a bone to pick, where we just talk about shit that pisses us off. So you guys can check that out. Go to the YouTube channels. And there you go. Thank you.