Anything Better? - Touche' Fair Enough to Disagree

Episode Date: December 18, 2021

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What's up everybody and welcome back to your favorite podcast in the world. It's the Anything Better podcast with your host Paul Verzi, Bill Burr, producer Andrew Themlis. And you guys are listening to episode 46. It's a weird number. I can't think of a 46 in my head right now if I tried to, but we're going to go to the man who went right off the bat, right off the bat. Chuck Muncy.

The man with the answers. New Orleans Saint and San Diego Charger that went over there and solidified air cordial and gave him a running game. Rest his soul. The great Chuck Muncy. Rest his soul. His black frame glasses. All right.

Who else? Let me see that. 46 sounds like a great picture. MLB best 46. Why don't we do this before? I love that. I got one right out of the gate. All right.

Who's after that? Hold on. Let me search. Dude, that's tough, though. That's tough. 46? Who knows what 46 is? Oh, wait a minute. Andy P tough, though. That's tough. 46? Who knows what 46 is? Oh, wait a minute. Andy Pettit?

Is Andy Pettit 46? Lee Smith. That's a good one. Lee Smith. Andy Pettit's got to be 46.y pettit that's right i'm almost positive is he yes yes he is yes he is andy pettit yeah 46 yeah andy pettit right andy pettit man 46 i knew that it yeah the pats are cheaters all All right, go ahead. Yeah. Hey, I never called the Pats cheaters. He only did steroids because he loved baseball so much.

Okay, yeah. When did I call the Pats cheaters? I don't know. All you fucking New York assholes do that. I remember one time I was in New York, and the front cover, on the front cover, or was it the back cover? Some of it was flipped. On the back of the post, they were calling the Patriots cheaters, and on the front of the front, or was it the back? Some of it was flipped. On the back of the post, they were calling the Patriots cheaters.

And on the front of the post, they were congratulating A-Rod for his 600th home run. Same fucking issue, Paul. Yeah. The irony completely lost on every sports fan in New York. No, that is ridiculous. But you know, I've never, that, we don't even have to get into that because you know how I feel about that.

You know, kid had a target on his back. Always does. And, uh. Let's go. What can you do? What can you do? Uh. You can do steroids, Paul.

They should be fucking legal. You said, let's go. Like, we're about to get into it. Let's go. Uh, how you doing this week, Bill? Uh, you know what? My wife went to a bunch of kids' birthday parties because she's a great mom, and she caught a cold.

She brought it home, and she gave it to me just in time before I go to Indianapolis. Oh, man. Yep. Yeah, that's the worst, dude. Nah, but, you know, I'm fighting it off. I'm dumb. You know, I took a fucking steam. I, you know, ate some of them fucking lozenges i just went to bed i took a couple of cbd things

what's a lozenge oh like a throat lozenger what do you know what do you call it we can call those those squishy things so that then i like the fucking vitamins oh what do you call this thing gummies okay i took like a a couple of echinacea gummies or some shit you know it's a cold it's I like the fucking vitamins. Oh. What do you call this thing? Gummies. Okay. I took like a couple of echinacea gummies or some shit. You know, it's a cold. It's going to be here. What you really need to do is just go to sleep.

Yeah. That's what you need to do. A lot of fluids, a lot of rest, a lot of sleep, right? Yeah. But no matter what, your next three days are going to suck. That's essentially it. So yesterday it came on. Today's day one. So by Saturday, I should be alright Provided

You know I gotta get on a fucking Plane tomorrow Gonna be that guy So I brought all this Ricola So I won't be coughing or anything Ricola Yo I gotta tell you guys something First of all I wanna thank all of the Anything Better fans.

I was talking to Andrew about this. He saw it too. The amount of fans, literally in the thousands, who reached out talking about my son Lucas making the team when we talked about it on the show. Can't thank you guys enough. He found out. I was just like, man, a lot of people are saying it.

And he was like, really? And it meant a lot to him too. But he went through like a crazy thing with it. He made the team. And now he's like, I found something out and I'm going to just say this. Cause it was a really a moment. It was a moment that really was a special to me. And I'd like to share it here. Me and Bill always talk about our kids on here sometimes being a dad. So, and I know that people like it. My little girl who was never really big at basketball. She's a soccer and she likes ice hockey. She has her first basketball game. She's nervous as all hell. She's nervous as all hell waking up in the morning. She's pacing.

I hope I do good. She's eating breakfast all nervous. I go, sweetie, you're gonna be fine. You'll be fine. It's like first time she's ever playing in like an organized school game. Right? So me, I talk shit. I'm like, you, you, you know, you know who you are. I start saying all kinds. I start going too heavy on a little kid. You know who you are. Right. Anyway, long story short, the game is like 12 to four. My daughter has eight points. They go, can we take her out? She's just, she just got the ball, ran to the hole and kept scoring like and like these

she just knew she knew what to do she also had seven shots that hit the rim and went in and out i mean i'm she could have dropped 20 anyway she's glowing she was on fire dude she was on fire and the other coach goes the other coach goes hey hey verzi and he like knows i'm a comic he gets a kick out of it he goes verzi verzi we want tested. She needs to be tested. You know, all that shit, right? So the coach comes up to me and he goes, man, she's got confidence. And I was like, man, it's so great. And she gets the game ball. They have this little pink game ball. They give it to her. She's psyched. They go get a Sharpie,

write down your name and the date. And then the next week, another girl gets it. Same thing. coach comes up to me and goes so he our coach for Sophia he goes so I heard Lucas made the modified team and I go yeah and he goes um he goes yeah he goes well I go yeah man he struggled with making it wanting to make it he goes well there wasn't ever a question and i go what he goes i talked to some people he goes they looked at his first couple tryouts they go this kid's skill set's unbelievable he was never not going to make the team and i was just like so i come home sophie's got the game ball lucas is happy for her and then i go and they said something about you buddy and then and do both of my kids. So we just had this like Saturday fucking basketball, Verzi family thing.

Did your wife come home wearing the turnover chain? Oh, but actually Stacy started talking some shit. My wife goes, Oh, my, my, you know, my basketball family. And she was just like slapping them five and stuff, and we got really kicked out of it. But the point of this is I want to thank the listeners who were like, oh, I'm so happy for your son because it's really awesome to see. But, Bill, I got to tell you something, man. It is – watch. When your little boy or your little girl plays something,

you're going to be the guy acting like it's cool at first. You'll be sitting there, yeah, yeah, it's great. No, I won't. Dude, it's nuts. When that'll be sitting there yeah yeah it's great dude it's nuts when that moment comes dude it is i don't care success or failure what i care about is trying right go down swinging that's it i got one for you i was driving my daughter to school today she goes she goes dad i go what she goes sometimes sometimes lepers like to climb trees and be alone. And I'm like, it's leopards, buddy. She keeps calling them lepers. She's like, I like to say lepers. I'm like, all right. Well, they like to leave lepers alone. That's so funny, man.

I was just picturing this guy with leprosy, like, ah, nobody likes me and just climbing up a tree and being there all sad so we got an email and Stacy goes the lady running the lechery the lady running the lechery the rec league at the school wants to know if

you'd volunteer. Just as the seventh and eighth grade boys play a pickup game, they need a guy to organize who's going to sub. You're not coaching, but can you just go and, like, organize when to sub the boys in and out? Now it's Saturday. I'm home and free. I can't say no.

So I go, yeah. So I go, wait a minute. What do I got to do? You got to get a brown fucking sport coat. Yeah, dude. fucking clipboard so i show up there and it's a full court game they have officials and they go yeah no paul just deal with that team but just you don't have to coach just when it's time to sub just say sub so it starts out where me and the other guy doing it for the other team are together second half i'm on my side he's on on his side. I'm called. Get over here. I go, I call the team over. I go, this kid, Frankie keeps beating you kids.

I swear I got struggled. This kid, Frankie keeps beating you kids to the hole. I go, you got to stop that kid and get back on defense. You're going to win the game, dude. And I turned into him yelling at his team and I turned into a full-fledged coach. And I got to tell you something. It was the greatest feeling. I go, you guys got this. You guys got, just get back on defense. This kid, just take this kid out, dude. It was, but then you want to win. And I was like, I don't know if I could do it. I remember our high school basketball coach going, you lose sleep as a coach. He was a keyboard teacher that would like the,

the, the, whatever the teacher in the keyboard class, whatever. And he goes computers. It was like a keyboard. It was like to, it was like a keyboard it was like to it was like learning the keyboard on computers that's how old like that's how long ago like it was dude i was like a keypad yeah like the you know no like you know the keyboard i'm picturing john bon jovi oh yeah and johnny used to work on the job that great. He used to teach us top 40 hits, man. It was a child led school. No. So dude, he said, when you're a coach of even high school, you don't sleep.

You don't sleep. You're, you're completely, it's what the community's talking about. The community wants to, wants to win. Parents are asking you questions. You're going in. He's like, you don't fucking sleep. And it's like, I don't know if I'd want, as cool as it is to like win with kids, to have that parents going.

Oh, no, no. It's thankless because everybody thinks their kid's a fucking star. I'll tell you a great win I saw last night. I caught the end of Memphis playing Alabama. And Memphis had lost like three or four in a row. Penny Hardaway's their coach. Yes. Just watching him being a coach.

Cause he's still his face. He still looks like the same guy who played on Orlando and on the sons. But like, it was just cool watching him being out to be like, Hey, Hey, you know, yelling at everybody.

Look at Penny all fucking grown up. I watched Georgetown in Syracuse and I'm watching Patrick Ewing being a coach. It was kind of like a really cool thing where I was like, man, I remember watching these guys when they were kids. I mean, Penny, I think I'm older than him. But Ewing's a couple years older than me. But I remember watching them when they were like

just kids in the NBA or in college. And now they're like fucking coaches teaching these young guys how to be men and stuff. Dude, Memphis was a fun team to watch, man. Yeah, it's weird growing up and getting older and seeing that because I saw an interview of Steph Curry when he just got into the league and Reggie Miller was interviewing him.

He goes, are you going to catch Ray Allen? And he goes, that's almost 3,000 threes. And he goes, you know, that's good. And then last night at Madison square garden, my older brother happened to be there by chance. And the tickets went up in price overnight the night before up to like 900 bucks to get in the building. He only had to hit two threes. Of course he does it in the first quarter garden stands up for him. Of course the garden is happy for everybody. It's like those faces are never for us. It's always other people's moment. It's the Mecca come to the Mecca for your success.

That's what, that's what the fucking garden should say. Come to the Mecca for your success. Come and achieve here. Come and achieve here. Not, not us, not us, but. But the other side of it, Paul, is that you guys are still called the fucking mecca while you know the celtics and lakers are sitting on 17 championships each and we'll just yeah we

just play at the staples center and the fleet center you guys play at the mecca yeah well people come from all around to gather the the Lakers don't have 17 championships. Well, I mean, you know, they... The Minnesota Lakers have a few of them. Minneapolis Lakers have four NBA titles and a BAA title that, for some reason, they're allowed to call it. They somehow won an NBA title before the NBA existed, and they had a mobbed-up ref.

Yeah, the Lakers are sitting on six that are bullshit, but that's what LA is. Dude, you pad your resume. Everybody's a director. Everybody's a producer. Everybody's got 17 fucking rings. I'm not trying to shit on Los Angeles sports fans here, but here's the deal.

You can't be an organization in Wyoming and then pick up one day and go to Florida and take what you did in Wyoming to Florida. It doesn't work that way. As far as I'm concerned, Minneapolis, it does. It does because at the Lakers moved to Vegas and then they win the next year with Laker fans, listen to Vegas fans going, Oh, we got 18 bitches. Right. You got one. I agree with that. Um, But it was cool to see Ray Allen there. It was cool to see Reggie there. They all came out, gave jerseys, hugging him.

His mom and dad there. He ran up to his mom. I love how there was the moment and then Spike Lee still had to get in there. It's like, Spike, this isn't your fucking moment. Get the fuck out of the frame. And why is Spike Lee? And then he got on his knees with a camera like he's a photographer all of a sudden it annoyed me too yeah with that same stupid look like he's doing something goofy it's like no dude we get it you go to every game we get it paul that's funny

because you said spike lee like he's a photographer or something he is a an acclaimed director who has held a camera he does work with motion pictures He has worked with Denzel and done some pretty, you know, revolutionary stuff. I know, but dude, that wasn't his fucking moment. I agree with Paul, though. If he comes out there dressed like the fucking,

like a court jester. I agree. I know. It's all, yeah, yeah. All orange suit on, you know. I feel like he puts on a Velcro suit and then runs through, like, the gift shop before every fucking game

look at me i'm i'm the crazy fan look at all the stuff i bought yeah um yeah he always tries to insert himself into the game like trying to back in the day get a go with fucking reggie miller and all that like i'm telling you i think he wants to act i mean he could put himself in his own movies he has he has what's i'm saying but that's not enough right um dude what is it i hate when celebrities fucking can't just go to a fucking game and they it's got to be about them too it just drives me up the wall it's like this isn't your arena just shut up i hate when they go to the fucking with the ufc at any time to cut to an actor the actress sister going starts doing that with them yeah yeah it's like why are you doing that you should be holding up a script that's why michael j fox is the shit michael j fox is the shit michael j fox loves

going to nick games he sits there he's. Like you see him like clapping. He's into it. But even when the camera comes on him, he's like, you know, and he looks great. He looks great. And I got to tell you something. You want about his dating life, but Woody Allen was the same way. Woody Allen wasn't fucking going there trying to get on the court. Well, he was players and shit.

He had a fucking 12 year old next to him. But that's his wife. You watch Well, he had a fucking 12-year-old sitting next to him. He was distracted. But anyway. Hey, that's his wife. You watch what you say. Yeah. I wouldn't want the camera near me either if I was Woody.

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and use the code BETTER. And it'll make your cock look bigger. To your balls. That's right. It'll add an extra half an inch. Speaking of UFC, holy shit, I ordered that fight. I ordered that fight. I had one buddy over, Lucas's best friend's dad, who I'm really cool with. He's a cop.

He's a shit. We ordered the fight, and Nunez comes out, and they're like, the goat, the lioness, blah, blah, blah. She's going to, and this other chick, Juliana Payne is going, I'm the matchup for her. I'm telling you, everyone's calling her crazy. They're calling her delusional. She goes in there, dude. And Nunez, something was up. She was like smiling in a weird way. You know, when somebody, and then she was like in her corner between, and she's going like this and I'm going, something's off dude and the other

chick just kept coming and it beat her and kept jabbing her jabbing her got her down submitted her it was dude it was unbelievable man it was unbelievable yeah i gotta uh i gotta see that happens dude i think they just it's just fucking hard to keep that edge you know i remember that happened to uh conor mcgregor he got choked out then he came back had a different strategy damn near broke his fucking leg that first time i wonder if that had to do with his leg snapping years later because i remember uh when he he came back against um i'm the worst i can't remember anybody's name nate diaz yeah i fucking love those guys well dude let me ask you he just kept kicking them with the same leg.

And I remember thinking like, how the fuck can that guy just do that? Shin against shin that many times. And they showed him after the fight, he was already limping out. And I don't know, was that the same leg when he went to planet and snapped? I don't know. I didn't even think about that. And that's a good point. And that's my question. Like, if you snap your ankle in half if your leg breaks like that and then it heals that part still has to be weak later right i actually say that it's stronger which is weird they say it becomes

strong but he didn't break it then so i don't know if if he made it i mean i mean i just remember just watching in the amount of times i couldn't believe nate was still standing and i couldn't believe he was still standing yeah no you kicked in the shin once you just go down yeah you didn't watch any of this part that is for regular people that's a liver punch for pro fighters they have to get punched in their liver. Speaking of liver, dude, Dustin Poirier was hitting the champ hard in the face. And then Charles, was it Oliva or whatever, he came up and he gave a knee right in the liver. And you saw Dustin have to stop and he's kind of looking around. And dude, this guy was like a snake until he ultimately got on his back,

climbed on his back, wrapped his legs around his waist and got him on the, what are they called? The naked choke. And he ended up getting him. It was a, it was a crazy fight, but the champ ended up winning because of liver shots with his knees.

And it was, it was nuts, man. Like I got to tell you, I was wrong. I've said that. Remember I used to joke, these guys are barefoot. It's gross.

It's one of my favorite things to watch ever. Yeah, they're always like competitive fights. I can't believe I missed that. No, it was a great one. I mean, I love seeing somebody. I have that weird thing where I love seeing the underdog win, but I hate seeing the champ just being off you know she said something which was weird too when she was done she said like i checked out she said something weird and

then some of the some of her like peers were like did she kind of quit because the choke wasn't fully in when she tapped but she knew she was done and rogan was saying to rogan and cormier and all the guys that were they were like, she was so gassed. The only knock on her was if you get her like past two and a half rounds to three rounds, she gets really tired because she usually is a first or second round finisher. And she was, and this chick just kept coming and coming and coming at her.

And you could tell dude in her face, she just was like the way she was breathing. She was, she was gassed. She was tired. A lot of pressure yeah it is it is like i feel like um like when you've never lost or whatever like everybody is just sitting there and then like the way the fans treat you afterwards like i think roy i always talk about this roy jones jr's, the highlights of his losses, have way more hits than all of his wins. He's one of the greatest of all time.

And it's just, I get, you know, people hating on people. I don't understand, like, not respecting fighters. Like, when they see somebody get knocked out, they're like, oh, shit. They fucking, he fucking blah blah blah blah it's like what what would you have done right right yeah you would have died if you took that shot the only time i don't like it is when a guy like that remember that prince nassim hamid like he's having a fucking cold he uh he would prince nassim hamid would do like a back flip in the ring and he would like say shit about it.

Like, I mean, I don't like when guys like talk about the other guy's wife. Like, yeah, she'll be at my house tonight. And then like, like, I love watching. I love watching that guy get knocked out. Yeah, but like he's selling the fight. Your wife sent my DMs. That's one of the fucking, I mean, you're sitting there with a busted leg and you come up with that shit this is a comedian i had to be like all right this guy's this guy's doing some great crowd work here

like clever lane like hey woman why don't you come on with a real man yeah yeah clever lang that's a that's a great i never understood going like that hard because it's like there's like um dude that's how good they are never understood going like that hard because it's like... There's like... Dude, that's how good they are because they actually know that if somebody gets mad, they're just going to be just that little... Extra. Wilder, and that's all they need is that split second

where they'll be able to slip it and just fucking hit you with something. It's amazing to me. Yeah. When I watch a UFC fighter, and I think I know who's going to win, and when they do win, dude, they're always breathing better. They're calmer. Like the guy's just standing there like you could see him breathing

and he's just waiting. And then the other guy's like every time there's one guy like this and then there's another guy like just kind of like, and you're like, oh, it's over. Yeah. That's what I was talking to you about when I was saying like great goal scores. When you go to a hockey game, you watch the guy with 50 goals a season.

He's just sort of gliding around in the offensive zone. Everybody else is fucking looks like they were all over the place. And all of a sudden he just sees something turns on the afterburners. The next thing you know, the pucks in the back of the net. I just feel like all of those great ones, they're just fucking relaxed. Paul, if you sit ringside, anything's better. Paul Verzi, they sit ringside. What are you going to do when the camera cuts to you?

If I'm at a Knick game? No. If you're at a UFC game, do you do the stupid performer thing where you start to act like you're shadowboxing, like you're going up next? No, I do this. I do a nice little smile and a little bit like this. You know, if I'm drunk, I might do a little like, you know,

do a little peace sign, something like that. But I would never go like, no, dude, that's not me. Are you wearing sunglasses? No. No, no. I would give a nice dude. Not to me, ringside Paul. I'm going to look at the camera and be like, I'm afraid.

Yeah, that's great. These people are scary. Oh, my God. Another sport. I know this is really kind of a sports heavy top of the show. Guys, I'm going to make an announcement. I'm going to make an announcement on anything better, and I never thought I would be saying this, but where else to say it?

I'm making an announcement right now. I don't know why, Bill, you're holding your – don't worry. No, because I just thought of the most fucked-up, stupid thing ever. Oh, okay. That was your mind going. I am now a soccer fan, and here's why. Here's why. I go to my mother-in-law's for her birthday dinner in December 11th. I go for a dinner and I'm going, are you guys watching the army Navy game?

And my son goes, no, we're watching the New York football team play Portland for the world, for the, for the MLS cup for the cup. And I'm going, Oh, that's the New York city team on my buddy likes that team. And we're watching it. And I'm really kind of not into it anymore. And the, the, the New York football team is up by one. And all of a sudden there's a minute left and everything starts getting rowdy and they're in Portland and the Portland fans are going nuts. And, and, and Portland's got 30 seconds to score, to tie this thing or the or the or new york football team gets the cup and portland scores and the place goes fucking ape shit and then this is where i became a fan portland starts looking at the new york fans and looking at the new york football club and they're going i literally saw

these guys they're going take that you fucking pieces of shit. Take that, you pieces of shit. And then it goes to two 15-minute overtimes, and I am locked. And all I want is that place to file out like a funeral. All I want is that place to – Bill, you know how I get. I want nothing more. And I'm watching it, 0-0 after the first 15. I mean, 1-1 still. Then halftime.

Then the next 15. And then it goes to a shootout and dude this was the dopest shit i've seen in soccer the goalie for portland was like looking at the clock and looking around and this dude sean johnson this big like dude this big dude for the u.s he had this as a matter of fact like let's go to work he stops the first two penalty kicks bill with one hand. He knocks one out, but when he did the second one in a row and we ended up getting goals and now we're like one away and the fucking guy for Portland, he looked like he was British or

whatever. He went the wrong way. We score, we win. And that place was fucking devastated. And you just see a pack of New York football clubs, fans crying, going nuts. And all of those people, they're giving fingers to them. It was incredible. And I was like,

soccer is incredible. So congratulations. And they had a parade in New York city last, you know, I guess yesterday or two days ago. So congratulations to the decent turnout. It was huge. It was huge.

That's awesome. It was huge, dude. It was a ticker tape parade. And you know what? Pretty cool colors. Their colors are like the Carolina powder blue. So I'm going to take – and Lucas is getting into soccer. So you know what?

When I saw that Portland guy go, take that, you fucking pieces of shit. Over. Done. It's like I'm in. That's it. So, wow. I thought Portland was a hippie town that's nice i'll tell you yeah but you know what it's it didn't feel like portland dude it felt like it felt like england like the rest of oregon it felt like england in like when you watch those world cup games i mean those mls games you feel like it's just europe and america to be honest let's be honest it's it's it's a

european sport man what is soccer no it's a world sport dude i know i know that's what i mean it's it's not it's not a u.s sport is what i should say yeah it's it's it's just for some reason it didn't take here i like south south american fans both at Yeah, at soccer and at ACDC. We already talked about this. They're fucking incredible fans. Incredible fans. Paul, this fucking cold is just taking over my head. By the way, speaking of your head,

I got sick and tired this week of everybody sending me, because you're my podcast co-host, the picture of the guy on the Texans who looked exactly like you. Just out of curiosity, that joke was done like three months ago. Why all of a sudden now? Dude, I had like fucking 20 of my friends send, did you see this? I'm like, yeah, in like September. First time he took his helmet off.

Show your co-host this. I'm like, guys, guys, he's a bald Irish kid. There's a lot. You could find that guy. That guy looked just like me. He did look like you. I'm a little more jacked than he is, but, you know. Nothing? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No no he was like a little weirder looking like you're

a better looking kid than that kid so well but jesus if he's a little weird looking that's all i get no no i'm saying you're a better looking guy than that guy a little weird looking guy You know what I mean? That guy's real fun. That's not a compliment, Paul. Touche. Touche. Fair enough. Hey, agree to disagree.

Andrew, you should name this episode Touche or agree to disagree. Agree to disagree. Six to one, half dozen to the other. Is there anything better than being home in December? You got a fire on. You're either holding whatever beverage you like, you know, you've got slippers on your feet are up on a recliner and you're watching a sporting event. That's epic. I mean, what is better than that? Nothing. Her head going like, no, I'm kidding.

That's the only thing that would top it there's a little santa hat on you're fucking yanking it up and down like the old days paul you're like this watching the ufc fight fucking uh not spill an eggnog on her head like a slob ah that was toxic that was toxic and you combined it with the holidays uh yeah no dude i got all my shit done all my shit's wrapped everything's ready to fucking go i'm going on the road here um oh yeah paulie we got that thing we got that thing paul what thing we got that thing that thing out in jersey next week the first thing or the second thing what thing you know that thing oh all right i'm in the town

you don't remember do you no you don't know why oh my god beverly Cop. I knew it before you even said it. What movie was that? Beverly Hills Cop. He goes, every time you got caught, he goes, you never. Oh, that's right. That's who I knew. All of a sudden, I was like, you don't know why?

I was like, wait, what monologue is that? He goes, you don't know why, man? He goes, no, you never ratted me out. You never said, you don't know why? He goes, I love you, man. He put his arm around there. Then your boy put two in the back of his head. Yes.

Yes, he did. What's his name? Jonathan. No, the rest is so much. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Mikey. What'd you get lost?

Was if you ever, ever do. He goes, ever. Okay. Okay. And then just punched him in the stomach. Oh, that's one of my favorite movies. Oh, that's Andrew Thimless. Andrew Thimless is, is, is all time favorite. The kid was trying to write the next one. Yeah.

That's why Andrew Thimless reside. Just so everybody knows Andrew's. There was a whole box of those things. I only took a couple. I didn't think anybody was going to miss them. I was, I was going to give them back. I was going to bring them back. I didn't think anybody was going miss them i was i was gonna give them back i was gonna bring them back i think anybody's gonna get lost that's a good one um feminist i immediately became a fan of jonathan banks i got this i got to tell that to him back when we did breaking bad i said my whole family loves you i said i brought up that whole thing he goes oh you remember that i said yeah remember that whole fucking thing i also remember that richard pryor looking guy double for eddie murphy when they throw you over the table and you come up with the frosting on your nose yeah they froze

that it was actually when they froze it you saw the double it was bad luck i mean oh dude he he looked more like i don't even know who He looked more like Ahmad Rashad Than he looked like fucking Eddie Murphy Yeah he looked like He looked like Keenan Ivory Wayans with a mustache Like it was like ridiculous

Yeah it wasn't even close Well Keenan's got the bald head No no I meant old Keenan Old Keenan by the way by the way dude and that's why andrew themless resides in beverly hills because of that movie but anyway uh paul but i appreciate you putting that out there uh yeah trust fund kid you know he didn't ask he can't pick your parents it's not his fault that he got he was born into that you know you guys see the compound that andrew themless lives in in beverly hills you wouldn't fucking believe

it ferris bueller's day off is you know the kid with the red wings kicks the ferrari to the backyard yeah that's based off of andrew i have destroyed many of my my my shitty dad's cars many um i think i want to say this, Bill. I think you'd agree. People actually think I live in Beverly Hills, thanks to Paul. People actually think I live in Beverly Hills. That's a good thing. Yeah.

Beverly Hills, fake it till you make it, like the Lakers. We got 17 championships. Keenan Ivory Wayans is an all-time comedy. I'm going to, dude, what that guy's done with In Living Color The spoof movies, a scary movie Don't Be a Menace to South Central All these movies, White Chicks

All of these movies that he That he has his He produced, he funded Dude, I'm gonna get you sucker All of these movies are That guy is a fucking absolute monster, man. He's an absolute monster. I'll tell you why he's an absolute monster.

Because not only did he get them made, he actually got paid. He got rich. Yeah, yeah. He got paid and got them made. That's the hardest. I mean, the first hardest thing is getting it made. Then the second hardest part is actually making any money. Yeah.

Oh my God, dude. Don't be a menace to South Central. It's difficult. Okay. Dude, he spoofed, he spoofed boys in the hood,

juice, all of those movies and made this hysterical story. And it was, and it worked. It was, we were crying when I was in high school, we were crying. Like when a kid smoked weed and then he starts convulsing and

phones coming out of his mouth and then he dies and yo pass that shit it was just dude he it was the best man he was dude was the best i know um do you ever meet keenan ivory waynes bill no i want to say i had a meeting with him one time, and they were late, and I was tired, and he came walking out. And right as he walked out, he looked out at me, and I was yawning. And then they just rescheduled it, and I never went back again. And I always thought, like, oh, man, that was my moment. He was like, this kid doesn't have any hunger.

Oh, my God. That was – that just reminded me just reminded me like 20 years ago oh that was like i don't remember that they had an office right near uh the farmer's market on fucking um fairfax and uh melrose oh that was right as he walked out yeah that was such a downer story it just reminded me of our roman reed just a limp just in my defense i was out there for like 45 minutes i felt like i was at the fucking dentist time i get in there i'll have three cavities hey i'm telling you i've been out here for a while okay oh i got um i gotta i gotta do some stuff with my kids uh sports but i'm having a good time being off throats cleared up i took i took some stuff like no i'm feeling good man

if i shouldn't say that i know you're sick so i'm not trying to but uh it's what you do paul you know what am i a fucking chick you gotta act like you're sick, so I'm not trying to, but, uh, it's what you do, Paul. You know, what am I a fucking chick? You got to act like you're not feeling good because I don't feel good. You got to bring your emotions down to me. Enjoy your day. I would never do that to you. Oh, my throat's feeling good. No cold. I'm breathing good. How you doing sniffles? I don't see you on your way to Indianapolis to go do your shit jokes five times. Hey, why are you going? Why are you I got a- Why are you going Indianapolis, Bill?

Oh, God, that fucking drunk. My wife woke me up two days in a row. I'm asleep. She just wakes up and goes, what are you doing? What time are we talking? What time are we talking? Like before I wake up, seven something. Oof, okay. it's tough okay the first day

she goes she goes what are you doing today i just fucking wait what what i i don't know i gotta the next day what are you doing today you know so-and-so just said they can't babysit, blah, blah, blah, he's got in this whole fucking thing. And I was just like, I was like, do you realize I was sleeping? You said that? Yeah, I was sleeping. She goes, oh, I'm sorry, well, you know,

so-and-so can't come over and babysit, blah, blah, blah. I was sleeping. Yeah. you know, so-and-so can't come over and babysit. I was sleeping. Yeah. The house isn't on fire. Our daughter's going to school. She's not even going to be here. And our kid takes a fucking nap at noon. The house isn't on fire.

Like, what are we doing? I'm fucking sleeping. Dude, dude, to start talking to somebody while they're still sleeping. My wife hovers. My wife hovers. I'm doing it in a special. My wife hovers

and goes, that's nice out. You want to go? Hovers. I said, it's like a vulture around a carcass. Just fucking, it's a nice day and I start doing it. It's a nice day. let's not waste the day ah you want to go to brunch i'm fucking she my wife is a 7 15 7 30 wake up i need 9 30 10 o'clock and you know what in a perfect world you could just say we should have separate bedrooms oh I know a guy that does the thing dude how much that would help your relationship I know a guy that does that I I went to his house his wife and him they have two daughters happily married and he goes yeah that's my room and I go what I

go is everything all right he goes no dude he goes I I snore he goes our relationship's fantastic he goes I just sleep in here she sleeps there that's perfect what rich boss he talks about that on jim and sam they were talking about a few weeks ago oh does he he's got a separate bedroom too yeah there's a level of maturity yeah because listen nobody's fucking that's gone you know don't pretend yeah once you got kids i mean that's out the window it's like it's what you all you wanted and now all you want now is eight hours sleep and i'm finally gonna get six hours and 45 minutes which still isn't enough and i got you going what are you doing today well my first plan is to sleep for another hour and 15 minutes.

If you don't fucking mind, you just reminded me of something. Imagine you see a guy he's whacking off. And you look at the magazine. It's not a dirty picture. It's just a guy out cold. It's just a guy getting jerking off to him. I'm jerking off to the idea of sleeping it's not gay i swear to god i'm not gay look at that mattress oh shit that's funny he's got two pillows she didn't take one of them oh look at those linens oh one up because she had to put it

between her knees because she has a bad back. Oh, fuck. Is that triple goose? Here's what I don't understand about pillows. This is like an 80s observational bit. Even if there's no leak and none of the feathers and shit fall out of it, after a while, it's just a dead ass pillow. What happens? Yeah, they just get pounded down, dude. They just get beated down, dude. They just get beat up.

I mean. Well, if you took a bird. No, like the bird feathers. Just I think it just ends up getting matted down, dude. It's like, you know, I don't I don't fucking know. People put them between their legs. They lay on the beginning. You didn't know.

Instead of wasted my foot. Well, no, but it is. You kept hovering around like you were gonna be you know the bird feathers i'm like oh wow paul you know paul loves sleeping he's got some information all right let me see why do pillows oh shit of course i'm missing a million oh okay here we go you know it's gonna be like 50 paragraphs they could have answered it in one sentence pillows are an added luxury well you know what a pillow is you fucking cunt so why do pillows go flat the most common reason why your pillow flattens is because your head is compressed to the loose material inside the pillow for a long period of time this is causes the material to lose its fluffiness and it ultimately becomes flat the flatness of the pillow could also

be due to moisture that didn't answer any i don't understand it any more than i did before i read my son or daughter could have come up with that fucking explanation your head compressed to the loosed material inside the pillow for a long period this causes the material to lose its fluffiness well paul we can fucking send a guy to the moon i'm calling bullshit on this i'm calling the pillow guy or no huh are you a one or two pillow guy when you go down? Dude, look at the size of my head. I got to have two. And they got to be newer ones, too. I think that it's designed obsolescence, once again.

Rears its ugly head. No pun. It's designed to shit the bed after a year. And then after a while, it's like, I love when the pillow gets to the point you put your head in it and just goes like this is all puffy and you're you can't even see on either side of you yeah well that's why hotel pillows are a lot you know because they have to they have to keep getting new new ones more and more frequently but i can't do two pillows because my neck you go three pillows three two for my head and one for me to hug. Oh, okay.

And you just hug one, you know? And you love that pillow because it never gives you any shit. It doesn't wake you up in the morning. Draw a face on it. Yeah. Wilson! Thanks for letting me know. I'm sorry. Wilson!

That was actually great acting. I actually thought that that ball was alive when he was saying, I'm sorry. When he was going, I'm sorry, and the thing just floated away. Did you imagine how hard that shoot was? The guy to be 110 pounds in this every day. Am I in this scene today? Yes, Tom, you're in all the scenes today. Yeah.

I wonder how long that movie filmed for, man. Because he was- They filmed it and then they went back another year. So he lost a ton of weight, then he put on a ton of weight. And how he put on the weight was he would drink ice cream. He would just blend up ice cream and just drink ice cream all day. Did he say how he lost the weight? Dude, he got real thin.

I wasn't interested in that. I didn't hear it. I just remember the other part with the milk. I don't remember. Drank ice cream. Yeah, dude. You got to be careful with that, dude. Cholesterol must have gone through the roof like mine after Thanksgiving.

Dude, ice cream? I do blood work on you the Monday after Thanksgiving. Gee, your cholesterol is through the roof. Yeah, you think? I'm sorry. I enjoyed my Thanksgiving. I almost died. I almost died when the giants beat the

Patriots in 11. He said, uncle Freddie died. I drank three quarters of a bottle of doers after the game. I called radio stations. I didn't realize sports talk. I was hammered and Stacy heard me throwing up in the sink i woke up fully clothed stacy heard me going i was going dude i was and and i i drank so much i almost got alcohol poisoning and i went for my physical and he goes dude he goes your liver numbers are like something's wrong and then he's like i gotta you gotta do this again and then so yeah don't eat a lot or drink a lot like two days fast before you have a fucking get your blood work done. You're not supposed to eat Thanksgiving four days in a row

and on the last day have it for breakfast and lunch. And then I had a double serving. The last bit of pumpkin pie, I had a double slice, a double wide, and I buried it in whipped cream. And then I walked in there. I would like my blood work taken, please. You have the cholesterol of a 600-pound man. Well, yeah.

I like Thanksgiving. I'm sorry. Well, I ate like a 600-pound man yesterday. I know. Oh, my God. 400-pound life. Oh, Paul. Why is flying private so expensive?

And why is flying private so bad for the environment? Wouldn't it be great if everybody just had their own electric jet? A solar jet. How fucking amazing would that be? Some guy just took off in the first one. The first electric jet. I know. And you know the raw materials.

Someone's like, actually, if it flew on coal, it'd be better. I don't know. That would be fucking amazing. Yeah. You know, it has any seats in it. It just has a giant bed in the back with a huge seat belt. If you just go like that. Oh, my God.

It's like you're getting your appendix out, and they just put, like, a thing over. They just fucking knock you out. Oh, my God, dude. You get anesthetized, and then you just fucking wake up hey paul paul we're in indianapolis oh okay oh shit that's it oh my mr burr we're in we're in des moines oh we've arrived in ottawa oh my god dude that is sounds you've already been checked through whatever the fuck they call it would you like a mimosa

before you got off the plane yes yes I would the fans decided they like you so much you don't have to do the show tonight they just want to hang in the same cigar bar you're in and we and these this is a new cigar bar it just has beds oh my god you go in and you lay a little recliner oh gilbert godfrey says that he goes before every show i always just imagine wouldn't it be great

if the club just burned down and i didn't have to do it it has nothing to do with the fans and not being unappreciative this after a while you just can't do the road anymore and you know what happened to me paul i worked 30 straight years and i think this pandemic took the fucking mustard off my ability to travel if somebody wants to be fucking in a green room at 60 65 god bless him you know you guys want to be in there to talk to young comics and encourage them that's what i would want to do oh yeah when i was your age i set up in a punch bippity zip bam you know being that fucking cute old guy and then i just fucking hobble out to him i'd love to watch this show when it's past my bedtime and just fucking hobble out. My wife doesn't get how much I want to fucking retire. It's 70, dude. I want to be fucking out. If I'm blessed with the ability to be alive in my 60s, if you don't think you're

going to see me sitting near some sort of body of water with a fisherman hat on, you're sadly mistaken. This is perfect, Paul. You want to retire 10 years earlier than me? I'm 10 years older than you. There you go. You got to do it, Paul. Listen, I'm not saying no more shows at 60, but I pick and choose. Hey, Bill, let's go to Monaco.

Do a little set in the fucking casino there, and then we'll go on a yacht. That's how I want to fucking do it in my 60s. Yeah, we're broke pretty fast doing the math on that one, Paul. That's how I want to fucking do it in my 60s. Yeah, we'll go broke pretty fast. The math on that one, Paul, that's a pretty steep gig. We'll fly fucking first class to Monaco. We'll do one show and then rent a yacht. We'll come home minus fucking 700 grand each. How great is being near water?

Andrew, I know you love being near water. Even the, Andrew, I know you being near even the visual. I know we've talked about it. I think it does something to your brain chemically, like just seeing water. For me, it's like I don't know if it's like deep rooted because of where my ancestors grew. I just see water. I'm like, well, according to a lot of podcasts, Paul, that's where we came from. We came from the water. i'm not into scientists anymore paul i'm done with them too i think i'm i think i'm going on the anti-vax side now now that people have double vaccine and they're fucking and the booster and they can still get it you know maybe these doctors would just get lucky paul you ever think that

no but i will tell you how long have they been curing people you know what i do i might have covid now my wife just got a scare my wife went to a party a holiday party there was only to a garden party 17 is with my old friends, Ricky Nelson. How do you know that? Cause they used to play the commercial all the time. Okay. Is that, is he related to Willie? He's related to Nelson's Nelson. That was the, uh, the two blonde blonde kids. They, they, uh,

they had a band. Oh. Dude, he had like two Hitler's Dream kids. Just like the hair, the color of the sun, blue eyes. I don't know. It's not. Everything Adolph wishes he was. I can't recall.

Ricky Nelson's sons were. They had Bobby Rock was the drummer. I can't recall ricky nelson's sons were they had bobby rock was the drummer still i can't remember the song for some reason i'm thinking white lion wait wait i didn't get a chance to something um it can't live without you that's the one wait a minute you had to go ballad you had to go ballad. You had to go ballad. That was the big one. That's right. No, no. But how does that go? That's not the one, the main one, is it?

One Bill was singing was his father, Ricky, their father, Ricky Nelson, who was in a show called the Nelson's way back in the day. And he had a song after his career was big about not being the cool one while hanging out with a bunch of cool guys. Correct. Bill. Is that what if that song went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends, a great song. Well, who did the, I can't live.

If living is without you, I can't give REO speed wagon. I can't do it. I would go to a fucking speed wagon concert, man, because that Cobra Kai show has all of their songs in it. And I can't, dude. I would go to a fucking Speedwagon concert, man, because that Cobra Kai show has all of their songs in it. And I'm like, yo, those guys were the shit, dude. I would go to that. They were good in the beginning. And then somebody left.

Whoever had the fucking testicles in that band left. And then it just became like, I don't know. Just became that. Check this out, you know? You know, like those, like when you know that's you know like those those like when you're skating rink it was time for the couples to start skating like oh they played like that shit so um so i was listening to the first fuck one of the first uh i think the second album by def leopard i love high and dry album i love it let it go hit and run it's fucking killer album i don't know

that one i know the one with photograph that's a great album that was the one that made that made them blow up but then if you go back and they kind of had a different lineup they had a guitar player forget the guy's name i want to say it was phil something but just killer fucking riffs and shit it's just funny like you know the lyrics and shit back then was just so simple I love all of that music Phil Collin was Phil Collin well Phil Collin was the guy that stucked around okay and I want to say played guitar shirtless five years after we should have stopped like we get it you're a vegetarian but you know you're pushed in 60. we get it you're a vegetarian but you know you're pushed in 60 let's get a button down huh would it kill you to put on a button down um well what the fuck did i lose my oh stacy got a covet scare

she went to a party with like 17 people and all of a sudden one of the apparently i probably shouldn't say this on this podcast but someone there had it and uh and then stacy had to get checked and we have a bunch of shit this week that is kind of holiday important shit family shit and if stacy got it and that means we'd all have to be checked and luckily stacy tested negative but um yeah it sucked man like just like oh well there goes the last week before christmas of just sitting in the house that would have really sucked so i'm being careful because i would love to just sitting in the house, that would have really sucked. So I'm being careful. I would love to just sit in the house the last week. Yeah, I mean, not with COVID, though, because then you can't be near people, man.

Oh, it's even better. As I said that, I was like, huh. Just like a leper. Yeah, leper, leper. Climb a tree and be alone. Leper in a tree. So my New York Knicks went to shit. It's over.

Ever since the thing with Kemba Walker, I don't know what happened. They benched Kemba Walker. They abolished him from the team and the fucking. Oh, they did. Dude, not only did they. Oh, you know what? There's a certain comedian that was giving me shit going. Ah, what happened to the celtics he was talking to his bragging about kemba kemba yeah kemba walker yeah yeah i think i know the guy you're talking about talent uh oh i thought you were talking about i thought you're talking about me no j. James Talon Harris. He's going to get a phone call from you right after that.

Yeah, well. Wait a second. Not only did they bench him, Bill. Not only did they bench him. They took him out of the rotation and they're waiting for a trade. And since then, you guys know the Knicks were doing good. Since then, the younger players that looked up to Kemba completely freaked out seeing that happen and was like, what the fuck, fuck dude this is a guy that's been in the league and is good

and you're just basically fucking like banning him from playing and we've shit the bed and we've hit a bad you know skid here slide whatever you want to call it and uh the Giants stink and um yeah soccer championship. Yeah, but I've only been a fan for 10 minutes. So I can't count it. I can't count it. All right. Like Laker fans counting championships from other – I can't live.

There we go. That did the job. I just texted him. Remember when you were excited about Kemba? Now I feel bad. I feel responsible for that. Woo! But Talon's not a sports fan.

He doesn't give a fuck. He goes, I root for all the New York teams. You know what, Bill? I know the mood. He's got a chip on every fucking number, and then he says he's a winner. I don't like that shit. I know the mood Bill is in right now. He's got to get Talon on here, dude. We do. We do. he's a winner. I don't like that shit. I know the mood Bill is in right now.

We've got to get talent on here, dude. We do. We do. He's the best. That would be a great fucking guest. No, we've got to get Tom Brady and Eli on together. All right, let's start in reality. We've got to get talent on here.

No. Reality. We get Brady and Eli. Oh, dude, if me, you, Brady, and Eli were here, it would be those two talking to me and you like this. I just be like, um, so Eli, I always liked you. Dude, you know what that reminds me of?

You ever see Jim Norton when he first interviewed Black Sabbath? Oh, no. Is it just a mess? Oh, my God. It's like Tom – what's his name? What's his name? Farley. Chris Farley doing the Chris Farley show? It was sped up Chris Farley.

Like he kept doing this with his nails? He was awesome. So, like, did you guys practice a lot? Did you guys always go to practice? He would have a question and then he would say it. And he wouldn't like how we said it. And then he'd try to say it again and again. This is what I love about him.

And he could actually listen to himself right after he did it. And just sit there laughing about how ridiculous he sounded. I'd be like, dude, tragedy plus time. If I ever did that, I would have to wait 10 years and have won a fucking Peabody Award for interviewing before I could go back and listen to that shit. The three most underrated comedians that I've ever seen in my life are Jim Norton, Tony Rock, and Bobby Kelly.

But Bobby Kelly gets, Bobby Kelly gets Bobby Kelly. Like a lot of people, Jim Norton is one of, and dude, Tony Rock there. I remember opening rocks a beast. I remember opening for Tony rock at levity live where I actually did my special years ago. And I go, let me poke in. And just, I was featuring his younger brother was hosting. I go, let me poke in and watch Tony for five minutes. And for 40 minutes, I was watching, like, I actually heard Eddie Murphy saw him. He's going to do the Verzi

effect. I actually heard Eddie Murphy saw him and was like, dude, you're dude, Tony rock. I, Tony rock does things. That's like, he could stop his act killer crowd work back to his act. The dude, the charismatic, the, the, the charm of that guy. What? The charisma. The charisma, the charm, just his funny facial expressions, the way he moves. That guy's a monster. Let's go underrated here. Eddie Pepitone.

One of the funniest people ever. Eddie Pepitone. Oh, my God. Right now, with this new shit that he has coming out, because people already knew he was funny, but a whole nother level of funny, Donnell Rawlings. I heard that, yeah.

Yeah. Jim Brewer. Underrated. Dude. Underrated, dude. And that stupid fucking clip or whatever, they didn't mic the fucking crowd and all these fucking cunty fucking comedians

are trashing another comedian. Like like what world are we living in dude i fucking broke my heart seeing that shit i i was like why are comedians trashing other comedians comedians are for the first time ever broke the code they broke that code that mob code of like hey you're supposed to talk about that shit at the table with your friends. You're supposed to roam, you know, like a comic, you call your friend up and yell, this fucking guy stinks. How come he's getting more shit than me? Everybody does that in every business. You don't go public with it. You don't, you don't. And when somebody has a scandal, you don't go, Hey, let's get on a podcast and talk about this and go around the table, man.

It's fucking gross. And, and i'm with you man the hardest i've ever laughed at a fucking pit i when i did that uh um what was it the anti-social tour with norton david tell jim brewer and me dude brewer had a bit of his dad shitting himself and he never cursed i never cursed dude i was standing on the fucking wall in Atlantic City at the Borgata I was laughing so hard by the end of it I was sitting on the floor I just went right down the wall I was dying I opened for him going back to him almost puking kept going he kept making that and that became the thing that he kept going back to and then he would say something funny and then go again and then he'd say something either funny he kept tagging that to and then he would say something funny and then go again and then he'd say

something either funny and he kept tagging that yeah and then he got these fucking hacks a fucking trash and he got like you've never been funny this guy fucking every guy sleeping is funnier than you yeah dude oh don't get me started over here a comedian tweeting another comedian's name. I got to stop doing blow. Dude, that fucking, that blow almost made me go. I'm just kidding. Sorry.

No, no, no. I'm trying to do it off mic. No, no, no, no. A comedian tweeting another comedian's name. You could tweet a general statement. You know, if you have a couple in you and you want to go, I don't understand what some of these people, you could do. Putting another comedian's name in your tweet is, and going like.

As a comic. Yeah, with like that sarcastic undertone to it. It's really fucking gross, man. Just for you to look like, oh, they're going at, it's like, it's fucking, it's, you know, it's gross. It's fucking fucking gross man just for you to look like oh they're going at it's like it's fucking it's you know it's gross it's fucking gross man hey it's a it's a new world paul it's a new world i think it's i think it's called brave now i'm standing up to power well uh dude i want to you know like you know like white women fucking say call each other

karens now they just totally hijack the word and don't give the decency even know what the fucking word means that's a little bit about yeah how white people fucking just call themselves woke i was actually watching this this compilation of uh people freaking out just losing their shit so i'm like i gotta watch this to make sure over what what are they losing their shit over what are they losing their shit. So I'm like, I got to watch this to make sure. Over what? What are they losing their shit over? What are they losing their shit over? Getting cut off in traffic, just fucking.

Lou, this woman in a rental car thing, and her fucking voice, dude, went like higher than a baby's. It was fucking ridiculous. So there was some guy, this white dude, yelling at a white woman, screaming, cursing her out. And a cop shows up it's like on the street in new york he's like she backed she drove her uh her whatever her baby carriage in the back of my leg and i told her to stop and she kept doing it he goes that's white privilege

i'm just like oh my god oh my god it's like if you're gonna as a white person use those expressions you should at least have the decency to know what they mean because there's a lot of white people out there that think oh white privilege why i wasn't i wasn't born into privilege i didn't have money i didn't i wasn't born that's not what it means it's not what it means yeah uh so i'm not go fucking look it up you dumb cunts you embarrassing cunts i fucking hate everybody bill oh jesus did i just do that to you i'm sorry no i i just everybody moved here no i just hate everybody is just so fucking self-right everybody is so self-important paul think about how many comedians don't fucking go on the internet and

trash other comedians no no i'm just talking about the world in general just think about how many comedians don't fucking go on the internet and trash other comedians. No, no. I'm just talking about the world in general. Just think about how many people in the world don't go around trashing other people in the world, Paul. Trying to spin it positively here. Yeah, we just did a role reversal. Take me higher. Have they ever made a compilation of just all the awful ballads all these fucking bands made just so the chicks would like them in the 80s they must they were hits they were hits they were hits

they were hits i don't knock that i'll i like you i've had people go cry that's fucking garbage man that's not music i'm like i gotta be man. I was singing that shit in my car loud. Paulie loves a ballad. I love a ballad. There were some good ones. Home Sweet Home I liked. Every Rose Has Its Storm was a good one. Yeah.

Yeah, Poison had a couple of them. Poison had a couple of them. I'll Remember You. That was a good one. I'll remember you. These fine words. Yeah, Skinrow has balls, man. That fuck, I love Remember You. That was a good one. I'll remember you. These fine words. Yeah, Skinrow ass balls, man. That fuck, I love that band. What were we just talking about before this?

Hating everybody in the world? No, we were going to say something about the Anything Better merch is out, so the Oh, the Anything Better merch is out So you can get the Anything Better merch Wanted to thank everybody for listening But there was something else that was going on That I totally fucking slipped

You know what this is making me want to do? I'm trying to find the cheesiest song In my fucking In my On my phone That I actually like listening to Let me just see the first one I can find here. Man, I got a lot of good shit here, Paul.

I forgot what the fuck it was. Dr. Dre, Drew of the Drew, Drive-By Truckers, Driving and Crying, Dwayne Allman. Duran Duran. I might have one in there. Oh, there you go. Duran Duran. I got to listen to more of them.

Ordinary World. That's one of my favorite songs. When you said cheesy songs, I was thinking of myself. That's one of my favorite songs. When you said cheesy songs, I was thinking to myself, that's one of my favorite songs. Which one? That and Garlic. Ordinary World. These aren't cheap, dude.

Love it. Dude, fucking Duran Duran's the shit. You're gonna tell me you listen to Rio and not get in a good mood? Her name is Rio and she's doing some fucking shit. What was the shit? Dancing in the sand oh look at this elton john elvin jones elvis presley that's a nice little run there eminem who's this guy ennio morricone is that guy oh this is like the fucking Spaghetti Western shit. Come on. I know I got some.

Eric Sermon. Nuts. Underrated. Eric Sermon. Eric Sermon. Eric Green Eye Bandit. Underrated. The Green Eye Bandit.

What the fuck was it? Fu Manchu. Underrated. Gary Wright, underrated Everybody just knows Dreamweaver He's got that album, it's fucking killer George Michael Oh, here's one

Kissing a Fool Well, I don't know that one It's like a fucking jazz swung thing It was in black and white Well, I don't know that one. It's like a fucking jazz swung thing. It was in black and white. I was like, this is fucking quality music. What about Billy Ocean, dude? I love Billy Ocean.

I asked my friend once. Her? Annoying rocks? I said, why isn't Billy Ocean bigger? And he was like, because black people don't give a fuck about billy ocean who said that gerard that's fucking funny why isn't billy ocean bigger he goes because black people don't give a fuck about billy white people can make you know there's more white people out here that should be able to right? We all show up and not notice that there aren't black people there, so we still think it's cool. I like him. I like the guy. Iron Maiden, Isaac Hayes, the Isley brother,

Izzy Stradlin, Jay Dilla, Jay Cole, the Jake Isles Band, Jay Roddy Watson, and the Busboys. Oh, shit. Is that the fucking from 48 Hours? No. Remember the bus boys? We're going to one, two, three, four, one, two, three.

Janet Jackson. I miss you much. Oh, I miss you much. I got some shit on here. What about Beach Boys? Beach Boys? I got pet sounds. Beach Boys was the shit on here. What about Beach Boys? Beach Boys? I got Pet Sounds. Beach Boys was the shit, dude.

Joe Satriani surfing with the alien over there. Underrated drummer, Jonathan Mover on that. His fucking single bass drum kick. Guy's got a monster foot. You hear me, Andrew? Monster. All right, I got to go. You hear me, Andrew? Monster. All right, I got to go. I got to get out of here.

I don't know what the fuck we were just going to plug, but I'll just plug whatever. All right, well, thank you guys so much for listening to the show. We have a new merch out. You could get on the merchandise site. Where can they go, Andrew? could get on the, um, on the merchandise site, where can they go? Andrew? The link is in the comments. Uh, and also in, uh, the link in Bill's bio on Instagram and Twitter, the link. Yes. And, um, for all the listeners, a lot of the people were asking me, where is your first special?

Because before your next special comes out early next year, we can't find it. And I lost my mind and I got on phone calls and I yelled at people and We can't find it. And I lost my mind. And I got on phone calls. And I yelled at people. And I freaked the fuck out. And guess what? For the holidays, you can see my special. I'll say this.

The past two days, it's been getting a ton of hits. And I've been getting a ton of nice feedback. Thank you. It's available streaming on Comedy Central right now for free until December 27th. Then it goes behind the paywall. But it is there available. And it will be on paramount plus soon to my next special coming out early 22. We'll let you know. Oh,

Paulie killed on that one. The next one is, listen, I love my first special. I stand behind it. The next one, the next one, I can't wait for everybody to establish yourself in the first one that you

should be in the league. And now, now, now you're going to be like somebody you need to watch. Well heard it you heard it there from a from from a friend and a mentor um actually i just lost it uh guys if you're in the uh greater atlantic late atlantic atlanta georgia punchline i will be there january 7th through the 9th so check that out i got more dates coming i'm going to i'm going to comedy connection in Rhode Island. I'm going to Tampa. I'm going to Austin. I'm going to Connecticut. I got a bunch of dates. It'll all be on paulverzi.com. Go to our YouTube

channel. Verzi effect is growing. Thank you. Got Kelsey cook this week. Check out Bill's Monday morning podcast. Check, uh, you guys get your tickets tickets i'm sure you already got your tickets to see bill on uh why you going indianapolis bill hey i did the fake crying bit to my daughter today did she freak out she goes dad i don't want you to pick me up i want mom to pick me up and i go okay she started cracking up oh she laughed oh she loves it i go no no it's fine it's fine so this afternoon you want mom and not me? She goes, yeah. And I go. Dude, I did that to Sophia once and she did not.

I go, and she just was like, like she was. You got to let them know it's coming. Or you got to do it so ridiculous. You probably did it too well. I was kind of doing it like ricky ricardo's going oh she loved it oh i love that kid all right guys uh this has been episode 46 hope you enjoyed it we will be Enjoy your holidays. We'll be back next week and enjoy the football season week 15. We will see you guys soon. Take care. you you